Chapters Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Chapter 2: Down in the Dirt
I had never been what one could call the 'rough and tumble' sort. I was not a brawler, hooligan, wastrel, or any other sort of ilk that likes to get their hooves dirty. Cleanliness is next to godliness, after all. It was almost amazing, then, how quickly I went from the carved statue of a deity with a freshly-combed mane and starched frock to what would amount to a filth-and-snow covered incubus sprawled out upon the cobblestone streets of Canterlot, looking like a disheveled murder victim.
"Oh, hey. 'sup, pony?"
The unfamiliar voice held a distinct, city-born accent... but not of Canterlot. If I had to guess, I would have pinned the owner to be from the Manehattan slums, based on the slight slur and easygoing, smooth tone. In other words... street trash. Street trash that currently lay atop me , pinned to my chest with his hooves on either side of my body. After an impact like that, and in such a messy position upon the ground, I knew that quick thinking and action befitting a stallion of my station and superiority was necessary. Who was this ruffian to bowl me over and perch atop my chest, in the middle of a crowded street!? He would get a piece of my mind, and a bit of the fire that my bloodline was known for!
"My immaculate coat! Dismount me immediately, you're ruining it! " I squealed, in the most manly tone I could manage. "I just took a bath, and Auntie just smoothed my outerwear! Watch where you're going, you wicked filth !"
"Whoa-ho-ho-hoooooooooo, there, Your Hugeness," the smaller stallion replied. "I'm so sorry to upset your delicate, cushy appearance, but I'm in a bit of a rush. Catch ya later."
The sprightly stallion slid to one side, leaning low before he bolted forward in an attempt to pass me by. Little did he know that I had been a varsity hoofball player in college, and my hooves were even quicker than my wit. In one smooth motion, the scruff of his neck was in my hoof, and I had the bastard off the ground- he was strangely light, even for a smaller stallion- and in front of me, flailing madly as I scowled at him, taking in his features.
The earth pony stood at about two thirds my height, his fur a dark, mottled green. A scrawny little thing he was, wearing a disheveled, dirty, ripped vest with splotches of mud and snow all across the material. Clearly, he had no attachment to or pride in his appearance or possessions. Not only was his attire a mess, but his mane ... I'd never seen anything like it, and not in a good way. Thick strands of deep blue, assaulted with gel and product stood in some sort of messy, stringy, utterly wild mohawk, with loose pieces hanging freely in front of his similarly-colored eyes. To top it all off, his flank featured a cutie mark of what appeared to be a fossil, in some sort of spiral shape.
Sometime during my visual analysis of the little scamp, he had simply stopped struggling, content to hang from my hoof like some stray cat, caught by the neck and held aloft. He stared straight back into my face, and a lopsided grin showcasing relatively well-kept teeth began to form as the seconds of awkward silence passed. Without warning, he gave me a wink, brought a hoof up to his mouth to blow a mocking kiss, and I promptly dropped him in disgust.
"What is wrong with you!? Running into royalty like that without a care in the world, and then mocking me?"
"Royalty, huh?" he responded with a hint of laughter at the edge of his voice. "I'm royalty, too! The name's Creeping Moss, High King of the Canterlot Streets, and it looks like you're in my territory, buddy. Bow down," he finished with a cocky grin, pointing a hoof at the cobblestone below. How dare he...
"Enough of this foolishness!" I barked, my nostrils flaring as his grin proceeded to get even wider. "I am Prince Vladimir Blueblood of the House of Celestia, and I will not tolerate being talked to like some kind of c-"
"The criminal! There he is! "
The sudden interruption was chased with the sound of thundering hooves as a contingent of royal guards rounded the corner, spears aimed directly for this Creeping Moss fellow. His eyes widened as he tucked a hoof beneath his chest, looking nervous. Once the guards were mere feet from us, he bolted around behind me and stood at my side. I was quite honestly too flustered and confused to say a word, until the lead guard prompted me.
"Prince Blueblood, stand back! That stallion is a wanted criminal! He's a thief! Check your purse!"
The armored brute didn't need to say anything more as I pushed this strange Moss pony aside, my hoof reaching for my coin purse immediately afterward. The velvet sack was quite heavy and almost bulging, and the weight of it brought a small smile to my lips as I replaced it within my breast pocket. Everything seemed to be in order for me. Whether or not he stole from another was hardly my problem... though I did want to rip out his arrogant little tongue. Decisions, decisions...
"Stand down, men. Until he is proven guilty of a crime, I will be personally escorting him to the castle. He and I have unfinished business."
Creeping Moss furrowed his brows, eyeing me up and down as he looked to a nearby alleyway. I lit my horn with a pale blue aura in warning, in case he got any bright ideas about running. As his hoof came back to the snow below with a muted clop , I think he had gotten the message.
"We do have proof. An elderly couple flagged us down and said they saw him stealing an apple from a nearby market stand, before running off with it into the back alleys. This pony," he pointed, "fits their description exactly! I'm sorry, sir, but we need to pat him down. This falls outside of your jurisdiction, and is an affair of the Royal Day Guard."
"I didn't steal shit," Moss sneered, wrinkling his nose at the guard captain. He stepped forward, lifting his head in challenge toward his opponent, but soon found that I had something to say instead, and nobody, nobody got their say in before that of Prince Vladimir Blueblood!
"An apple !? A single, solitary apple? You would dare exert your authority over mine to catch some common street-trash taking an apple!?" I stomped my hooves as hard as I could, kicking up snow while bearing down upon the suddenly frightened guard captain. Flecks of spittle flew onto his cheek as I continued to shake with rage at the very thought that he had declared himself my superior. "You would take the word of two aging invalids as justification to go on a witch hunt and ruin my already terrible day!? Weeping Moss, did you, or did you not steal an apple!?" I demanded, whirling upon the amused culprit.
"Creeping, and nope. I was just minding my own business when these would-be lawmen started tailing me. Colt Scout's honor," he sang, placing a hoof over his heart with a chuckle.
"What is your name?" I reached out and grabbed the captain's breastplate, drawing him right up to my face as he began to quake with fear.
"L-l-l-lighthoof, sir! I-I meant no offense, b-but I was told by Princess Celestia that y-you weren't involved with the law!"
"Oh, were you, you sniveling snake? Well, I'll be having a word with her, and making sure you're demoted!" The stallion tumbled backward as I gave him a hard shove before dusting off my sullied tuxedo piece. "I am the law, and so far as you lot are concerned, I am God ! Do as I say, and begone!"
None of the squad needed a second warning as the entire troupe took off in the direction I had pointed, my persecuting hoof thrust forward as my chest heaved, both from pride and exhaustion. I'm fairly certain that my cheeks were red from all of the yelling, but I had won . Those scum would never forget their place, and once I saw Celestia again, she and I would have our reckoning!
"...so you're God, huh? I thought God would work out." That raspy, demeaning little chuckle once again caused the fur on my neck to bristle, as though this stallion's very existence was anathema to all of my senses. "Guess God doesn't have X-ray vision, either." The diminutive stallion reached a hoof into his pocket and withdrew a shiny red apple before tossing it into the air, letting it spin before he caught it in his azure-colored hoof and took a greedy bite, chewing loudly. I could do nothing more than stare in sheer disbelief.
Creeping Moss continued to eat, sucking his teeth between bites of the stolen apple. After a good while, he held the fruit out, and spoke through a mouthful of half-chewed mush. "Wanna bite?"
That was all it took for me to find my words again. "You deceptive, cheating, cowardly, smelly, duplicitous little thief !"
He merely blinked. "I got no idea what that second 'd' word was, but yeah, probably. I guess I kinda owe ya, so I'll ask again- want a bite? It'll turn brown soon."
"No ! I want no part of anything that passes by your filthy lips, you cretin!" My hoof lashed out to smack away the apple, only to find that this youth was clearly faster than me.
"Hey hey hey whoa, now! Food's food, man! You wanna take me in to the dungeons, I'll gladly come along, but don't you touch my apple. I had to work for this one." Another bite echoed out as I realized our little spat had drawn a crowd, many of whom were laughing. It didn't take me long to realize that they were laughing at me .
"You're coming with me, whether you like it or not!"
"Well, I like it, so that's all well and good. Always wanted to see the castle anyway."
"Shut up and walk !"
Every single one of my buttons had been not pushed, but hammered in until they no longer worked by this imbecile. He was everything that I am not- rude, arrogant, self-serving, cheap, disgusting, and unkempt! Celestia knows what sort of commoners' diseases he was carrying, and the smell! Did this pony simply not bathe, or only do so once each day!? City folk. Savage beasts, the lot of them!
Tired of my authority being undermined, and well-and-truly done with all of the mocking that had gone on at my expense, I stepped forward and placed a hoof upon Moss' filthy collar to begin pulling him toward the castle. He didn't resist, instead stopping his own efforts at walking to let me drag him through the snow-covered streets. Nearly every mare we passed received a catcall and wink from the lecherous lout, and one of them even tried to stop us to speak to him! Needless to say, she received a tongue-lashing from me, and my captive and I continued on with our incredibly important, royal business.
The castle gates were no impressive sight to me, having grown up within the palace and rarely setting foot outside unless it was absolutely necessary. Creeping Moss, however, wore the expression of a foal in a candy store as I dragged him up to the guards who were waiting at the gate. The pair nodded upon seeing me, and I received the respect I always deserve for the first time that day as they both bowed low and worked to pull back the heavy, oaken doors. A scraping sound echoed out as the aged, colossal wooden doors, ribbed with metal strips and scarred along the edges from use, slid back along the stone to reveal a long, well-lit, and cavernous hallway beyond. We began to walk through the halls in silence, before someone just had to ruin it.
"...damn. I've seen pictures, but I never thought it'd look like this. Then again, I guess God's house would be pretty impressive, yeah?"
If I had a bit for every time my eye had twitched since I'd woken up that morning... "My name is Prince Blueblood, and you shall address me as such. Try not to drink in pleasantries too much, as the only area of the castle you'll be spending any length of time in is the dungeon! Stealing, wasting my time..."
"Wasting your time is a crime? Any time someone talks sense into you must be punishable by death, then," he offered, punctuating his point by sticking out his filthy tongue.
Before I was fully aware of what I was doing, my hoof reeled back and shot forward as quickly as it was able, striking the trapped pony hard across the cheek. Perhaps it was an overreaction, but after the other events of the day, damn did it feel good. Moss tumbled sideways, holding his cheek and looking scandalized as his deep green fur began to tinge with red. He coughed a few times and made a show of getting up to his hooves, hissing in pain as he rubbed his jaw. I merely glowered as I waited for him to stand, feeling quite satisfied as he leaned against the white marble of the wall.
"Vladimir ! What ever are you doing to that poor stallion!?"
A rotund rush of pink and white entered my vision from the left, moving straight for the injured pony. Princess Cadance bent low, lightly brushing her hoof along Moss' jaw and giving him a sympathetic look. "Did he hurt you badly?"
Moss replied with a soft tone, taking on the appearance of a beaten puppy as he frowned up at the princess. "No, ma'am... I guess I was out of line. Thank you, though."
My jaw dropped. His tone, those words, and his cunning manipulation combined to make my upper lip twitch in anger, and I was sure I would have started yelling all over again had Cadance not interrupted me.
"What were you doing to him? Nopony should be manhandled like that, especially by royalty! We are examples for the public, not something to be feared!" she insisted, her expression filled with hurt and desperation. That poignant look was enough to disarm me, and my ears flattened as I gave her a rather guilty look.
"I... but... h-he's a criminal!"
"And criminals are not to be abused. Come, I will walk with you both, and we can take his information together." Cadance leaned forward and placed her hoof upon Moss' shoulder, along with a small nod. "Follow me, dear. We'll sort this out, and get you some ice."
"That would be lovely, princess," he replied, before waiting for Cadance to walk a bit ahead. The stallion turned his head and stuck his tongue out at me once again before trotting to catch up to her, chuckling as I sputtered and hastened to join the pair. I would have that tongue on my wall before the end of the day, so help me Celestia.
"Princess... what are you doing out of bed? I can handle him! I should handle him!"
"I am pregnant, Vladimir, not a paraplegic."
Clearly, it was going to be a very long night...
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"Name?"
"Creeping Moss."
"Age?"
"Either 6, 16, 26, or 216. I forget which," the forest-green stallion replied with the stupidest grin I'd ever seen this side of Shining Armor. It was going to be a long, long night, and it was already off to a terrible start.
I don't understand how we ended up in Cadenza's room instead of an interrogation room, or why the carnation princess was practically fawning over this little waste, but in truth, I didn't much care. Any trip to her room was worth my while, and if nothing else, at least the tea was good. Cadenza could always be counted upon to make a good cup of tea... among other things.
A beautiful sound resonated throughout the room, light and sweet. A familiar sound, and one that reminded me of spring, for reasons that I had never understood. Despite the fact that this stallion was clearly an obnoxious, pandering, deceptive ass , he had finally accomplished something that brought me the tiniest smile- making our princess laugh. It was a small, mirthful little noise, and one that I treasured and often worked for. The routine was always the same- Cadenza would find something funny, and break out into a beautiful little grin. She would snicker, collect herself, and then the song of joy would begin to ring out as she covered her mouth with a hoof. The action was adorable, and doubly so when it was in a professional setting and she was trying to keep her composure.
Such a shame that the reason for such a splendid sight was usually Shining Armor. He was an ass, too. Moss was an ass, Shining was an ass, and I will happily admit that I was, am, and always will be an ass as well. However, I am an ass for the right reasons- superiority.
"You're quite cute, you know. It's a shame we couldn't have met on better terms. 26 it is," she sang, scribbling lightly upon a piece of parchment. The paper was rested before her atop a low coffee table, just in reach as she reclined upon her side on a bright lavender Cleopatra-style couch, the small of her back resting against the low, curvy frame. I found myself staring at another low, curvy frame, which resulted in two sets of eyebrows being quirked at me in tandem. I stared back at Moss with a glower, sipping my tea noisily as I gestured a hoof outward, as if marking my personal space in the air before me.
"Just answer her questions, and mind your own business. What I do is my own concern."
"Are you still worried about me, Vladimir? I'm fine. Getting around is troublesome, but I can hardly complain. You don't need to be staring at my stomach and obsessing over my health constantly..." Cadenza shifted a bit, blinking as her lovely lavender eyes fell back to the paperwork. If only she knew that I wasn't staring at her stomach.
"I know, I know. It's my duty to show concern. What kind of semi-sibling would I be if I didn't?"
"Still my favorite one," she offered with a coy little smile. My chest felt just a bit lighter at her words.
"...you sure that foal isn't his? I sense some serious tension," Moss interjected with a dirty, raspy laugh. It took every ounce of my willpower to refrain from pouring my tea on him. If it hadn't been from Cadenza, I would have.
Another laugh rang out from the alicorn, and my passive rage continued to boil. How could she find this foal so funny ? He was a rude little runt, and the fact that he had the audacity to speak that way in front of a princess without being royalty boggled my mind. Hoofscrews would have done him good.
"No, no, of course not. I'm happily married to Shining Armor. Vladimir and I are old friends... and you should really be more careful with what you say, Mossy. I might find you entertaining, but most others would be offended, and maybe even take action against you."
Mossy. Mossy .
...Mossy .
That was it.
"Listen up, you little bastard," I set the cup and saucer down hard, the pink and floral-decorated porcelain rattling in response, "If you so much as say one more thing that grates on my nerves, so help me Celestia I will cut this song and dance short, throw you in the cell you're inevitably going to end up in personally , and literally eat the key. Due process and all of these kindnesses- which, by the way, you don't deserve- can go away very quickly. My authority overrides hers. What I say goes, and you are lucky to have Cadenza taking the lead right now. You should be in cuffs already."
The pout I received in response was almost enough to make me flip the table before me, but one sympathetic look from across the piece of furniture was all it took for me to calm down. She was the only one who could control me. No... she was the only one I would allow to control me. Even that was in my hooves- not hers.
Cadenza cleared her throat, tapping the pen against the frame of her couch. "...address?" she inquired, her face a bit scrunched up. I could tell she was dreading the answer, and that a tidal wave was about to pour forth from her bleeding heart. The thought was almost enough to make me gag before our unwelcome guest even began.
"Don't have one, ma'am. Err... I guess it changes, rather?" Moss smoothed over his mane, his tone completely flat and devoid of the usual cheekiness. "I sleep where it's dry, and where I won't have to fight for a good spot. I crash at the soup kitchens when there's space." It was quite clear that his answer was rehearsed, even if it was one he wasn't thrilled to be giving. I watched silently as he picked at a frayed thread from his worn vest, refusing to look at either of his superiors while he spoke. Had he not had such a grating personality, I might have taken pity on him, for the briefest moment.
Maybe .
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of shifting as Cadenza rose from her reclined position, her thin, white maternity gown falling lightly around her stomach and sides. Naturally, I rushed to her side as quickly as I could, offering a hoof, which she took with a weak smile. Her hooves were always so warm...
"Thank you. I would like a word. Alone."
Moss raised a brow, sinking back into his plushy chair and almost disappearing into it as my princess and I headed for the door. I kept my eyes locked to his as we moved, staring him down while I leaned in to whisper to Cadenza. Her lilac perfume stilled my breath for but a moment, and I lingered near her ear, greedily taking it in before I spoke.
"You trust him in here, alone? He's a thief! Who knows what ornaments or trinkets he might steal from you!"
"Oh, he's harmless! If he takes something, we'll get it back. Shiny will search him before he's processed, and that will be that. You really do need to let me make my own decisions. It's fine." She reached out and pushed the door open, holding it for me to step through before her. I silently nodded and walked through the portal, absently adjusting my bow tie before turning to face her as the door clacked shut.
"...he's homeless, Vladimir..."
"And ?"
"That's terrible!"
"So is being a thief!"
"He stole an apple ! He's probably hungry, and just trying to survive. He isn't violent, and really, he's... charming."
"Charming !? He's about as charming as a toad! If he's trying to survive, then perhaps he should find himself a job, like the rest of the filth in the street who claim to be independent. He's a disgusting little worm, and likely wasted his bits on drugs and other trivial, useless pursuits. Check his forelegs for track lines, he looks to be the type." I waved my hoof forward, dismissing any argument she might make before it could escape her lips. The action was unneeded, as my hoof could never have stopped the hurt expression in her eyes... or the crushing sensation that followed in my chest.
"How can you be so heartless?" she began, her eyes almost brimming with tears. "Why can't you see that the reason most ponies avoid you and refuse to acknowledge you is because of situations exactly like this? Where is the noble, sweet stallion that I see when you and I are alone? Where's the Vladimir who helps me about the palace, and the one I talk to long into the night when Shiny is on assignment? Why do you have to be so mean ?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but found that I had nothing to say. I hated when she called me out like this, particularly when I didn't know the answer. Perhaps I did know the answer, but it wasn't something I was willing to admit. Not to her... and certainly not to anypony else. I simply lifted my hoof and slowly tucked an errant strand of mane back behind my ear, idly wondering how and why it was out of place to begin with. Upon looking back at her, all I could do was let my ears droop, hoping she wouldn't press further.
"...sorry."
"Leave the rest of the talking to me, please. He'll be out of your mane shortly, and yes , he will be spending the night in a cell. I don't think he deserves it, but the law is the law. I'm sure you're happy about that."
"I am," I replied. Somehow, I had a feeling that that may have been the wrong answer.
Together, we re-entered the room to find Moss still slumped in his chair, the stallion not having moved an inch since we'd left him. I took my place on the couch across from Cadenza's, watching as she lowered herself back onto the small frame. For once, I didn't assist.
"Sooo... am I spending the night in the dungeons, or what? Are we done playing 20 questions?"
Cadenza looked down at the paperwork once again, all wind gone from her sails as she spoke. I couldn't help but wonder if I had been the one to destroy her mood. "Nothing else is essential, and... yes. I'm sorry, dear, but you did steal. Because it was a minor offense, you should only be staying the night."
"Cool. At least it's warm in here," he smiled. Moss rose from his chair and walked over to the prone princess, looking down at her. I stood to intercept, but was a moment too late as he dared to pat her on the shoulder. "Chin up, princess. I'll be alright, and hey- at least you caught me, right? Isn't that good, or whatever?"
For the briefest moment, I thought the idiot's charm might have worked on her again. Cadenza's face lit up in a full smile as she leaned forward, propping herself up on a pillow while her wings extended just a bit. The reaction seemed completely inappropriate... until another body moved into my peripheral vision.
"Hey Cadie. 'sup?"
That was my cue to leave. Watching Shining Armor as he leaned down and placed his putrid lips against hers was the final note in a symphony of shit that had become my day. Every time I saw them doing something romantic in public, I wanted to vomit. He didn't deserve her. He wasn't any more special than any other commoner... and little did the others know, but he had quite a bit in common with the street-rat who had awkwardly backed away the moment Shining entered the room. I knew our guard captain's secrets. Not all of them... but enough. The only thing that stilled my tongue was her .
"Not much, love. We have a minor criminal here. He needs to spend a night in a cell, but be gentle. He's sweet." She followed up with another kiss, smiling as Shining returned the gesture.
"Of course. Come on, kid. We'll take care of you... but stop..." he glanced down at the paper, "stealing. Petty theft? Come on, man. Make something of yourself," Shining said, his eyes nowhere near Moss as he spoke. The Duke of Dumbass raised his hoof and brushed a lingering lock of mane out of Cadenza's face, staring adoringly at her as I turned tail and stomped out of the room, unwilling to watch the saccharine stupidity any longer.
"Thank you for the tea. Deal with Moss, and I'll see you later," was all I offered as I made my way out into the hall. I didn't get a reply.
I don't know how much time passed as I paced through the halls, walking back and forth before a stained glass window as I tried to collect my thoughts. This particular window showcased Cadenza and her beau, horns crossed with a heart floating above them while the twisted form of a black, alicorn-like creature was thrown backward by the force of their love . Auntie did so love her stained glass windows... and her blatant bias. Where was my window? Nowhere in this palace...
Perhaps that was something else to bring up, after the main issue at hoof. How dare she say what she said? I have no real power or influence... I wouldn't be surprised if those exact words were what was said, either. It seemed nopony around here had any respect for actual royalty anymore. The time had come to give her a piece of my mind.
I set out at a brisk pace, my breathing quickening as I jogged through the halls, headed for the private wing that she and her sister shared. The walk wasn't a particularly long one, but I found myself nearly out of breath as I made it to the large, cherry wood doors. The guards standing before the portal immediately stepped aside and bowed, granting me access to that which I sought. I'd always loved the guards- they would do their jobs, unlike most. It was only their captain that I loathed.
Regardless, the current situation was far more important. I had a posturing swan to direct my anger at, instead of a pandering surfer 'bro'. I stomped into the central chambers, my head held high as my hooves sank into the thick, spongy carpet... only to be met with little more than a cold glare from a nearby couch.
"Tia isn't taking visitors."
'Tia'. That was the closest thing to emotion or letting her mane down that Aunt Luna would ever show, at least to me. Everypony else was addressed by their full name, and usually their title... but not her precious Tia . I didn't know how she knew why I was there, and I doubted she was about to tell me.
"But I ne-"
"You need to leave," she replied coldly, her eyes snapping back to her book- a reference guide of star charts. "Tia isn't taking visitors."
It never ceased to amaze me how well the sun and moon fit my respective aunts. Even when Aunt Celestia and I were fighting, she had a certain warmness to her. A vigor, a brightness that somehow made it all okay in the end, even if I left angry. It was as if I was always in her embrace, whether I wanted it or not. Luna, on the other hoof, was cold, detached, and mysterious. Almost angry, most times... and never close. Conversations with her just left me feeling unnerved, and this time was no exception.
"Auntie, I need you to let me through. This is an important matter that on-"
"You have no power over me, and I have told you to leave. You have no power over anypony here, and you never will. Take your petty complaints elsewhere, and leave me to my studies. Begone."
It was the most she had ever said to me in one sitting, and what made me feel the coldest I had in ages. My insides iced over as her words reached my ears, and I couldn't help but cower as her harsh tone echoed throughout the room, her natural volume overpowering. Her eyes never left her book, and all I could do was shrink back and turn away. It wasn't long before I found myself running, my footfalls muted by the carpet as I carried myself out the door, the corner up my upper lip upturned in a snarl.
Her words meant nothing to me. She meant nothing to me. In time, I would show them both who had power here.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"Nnngh... call me a Prince..."
"Oh , my powerful, a-almighty prince," she sang, her perfect rump slick with sweat as I continued my assault, my breathing ragged. It had been far too long since I'd had this opportunity, and seeing the soft pink fur bent over my desk and panting in ecstasy was a sight I had certainly missed. No power or control... what did they know?
A moan passed through my lips as my hips rolled forward, driving myself inward as my chest heaved with effort. I reached out a hoof to massage the wings of the beautiful, panting princess before me, watching with a confident smile as the soft feathers, tipped with a light magenta unfurled at my touch. I controlled her. I owned her on this night.
"O-oh, Prince Vladimir... the things you do to me... ," she cooed. The tiniest whimper escaped her as I slammed myself forward, pinning her up against the desk as I let out a low growl, spurred on by the familiar voice. Lust hung heavy in the air, and the musky smell of sex made breathing almost a chore as the scent of lilac swirled up into my nostrils while I kept a grip on her tail.
"C-cadenza... oh, how I've longed for this..." The mare didn't reply, her hooves almost white as she gripped onto the desk frame, her purple and creme mane bouncing with each thrust as she continued to whine and roll along with my movements. My powerful hips overwhelmed her senses as she cried out in release, and I instinctively reached the hoof resting between her wings down to her cutie mark, rubbing hard as she let herself go, submitting to my will as she was lost in the throes of passion. My own climax came soon after, and I leaned over top of her, pressing my chest to her back as I wheezed with effort, both hooves digging into the edge of the desk. Several seconds later, it was over, and the only sounds in the room were the twin beats of my breathing and hers.
"The best... you're always the best..." My voice was scratchy, my throat dry as I reached a hoof up to stroke her silken mane, watching carefully as she turned to face me. She had the magenta eyes, part of the mane coloration, the sexy, two-toned wings... but upon her forehead, where a horn should have been, there was only flesh.
"T-that's why you pay me, Prince Vladimir," she replied, managing a weak grin. The pegasus was much too small to be her, and didn't have the same sweetness... but she let me call her Cadenza, and from behind, she was almost enough to believe in it.
"Indeed I do. Good money, I might add." I reached a hoof across the desk, fumbling a bit as I snatched the velvet coin purse, dragging it to myself as my breathing began to calm down. I carefully counted out the coins, lingering atop the mare as she looked up at the clock, silently calculating. She didn't need to. I would never waste a cent.
"Here," I said as I tossed the coins before her and dismounted, relishing the squishy noise followed by the clacking of my hooves against the tiled floor. Instinct commanded me to reach for my bow tie and vest, though I stopped myself short, letting the garments linger upon the desk as I looked down at my sweaty chest. A shower was most definitely in order... but first, the usual pleasantries. What a chore.
"Thank you as always, madame. I needed that more than I can say. Not a word to anypony."
"Of course not, Prince Vladimir. You know I'm a professional," she finished with a quick peck upon my cheek. She didn't even have the heart to charge. More proof that I wasn't just another.
"I'll letter you when you're needed next." I held the door like a gentlecolt as the mare whose name I honestly couldn't remember began to trot out the door, my eyes glued to her flank the entire way. As she moved through the frame, a niggling thought crossed my mind, and I simply couldn't hold it back.
"...wait. Wait, you live in the poor district, don't you? You do a lot of business on the streets?"
The whore had the audacity to look offended as she turned, twirling a lock of her deep purple and creme mane around her hoof. "...the apartments , yes. I see my fair share of the corner. Why?"
"Have you ever run into a homeless lout named Creeping Moss? About yea high, fur a mottled green, deep blue mane?" I held my hoof at the appropriate height, doubting the would-be Casanova was anypony even remotely important, even among the homeless and street-faring scum of the city. For about the fiftieth time that night, I was wrong.
"Creepy?" she asked with a coquettish little laugh. "Of course I know him. Most of us do... and my sisters and I don't even charge. He's done us some favors your bits can't touch." She winked and smirked before hurriedly trotting down the hall, leaving me with my mouth agape and mind blank. That runt needed a good, hard throttling. I wouldn't let him outfox me at every turn, even here. Who was this street-faring colt that decided to waltz into my life and make it even more difficult? Something about him rubbed me entirely the wrong way, but I was never one for conjecture and suspicion. Conviction and sentencing was more my style. At that moment, however, cleanliness and saturation would have to do.
I stood under the shower for far longer than necessary, merely thinking as I watched my own fluids mix with those of the shower as the mess swirled down the drain. The shower was always my safe place, really- the one location I could stop and just think. There, I could stop being Prince Blueblood, and just be Vladimir, mulling over the events of the day and not having to make sure that those around me knew their places in my stead. I never could decide whether I loved or hated this time to myself, but I did know it was something I absolutely needed.
Tonight, only one, solitary thought continued to play through my mind- the look on Cadenza's face when we spoke in the hall. Auntie Celestia gave me that look quite often, and I never cared. What was it about that younger, softer face that actually made me stop and reconsider? Why was it that when she was around, and it was just her and I, that I wanted to be her hero? The noble pony she envisioned me as? The savior and strongman, the one loved by all instead of reviled? Why couldn't I just be like... Shining Armor?
I furrowed my brow, scoffing to myself as the ridiculous thoughts swirled in tandem with the water, shampoo, and other liquids below me. Be like Shining Armor . What a ridiculous, childish notion. Never in my life had I met such an arrogant, self-absorbed blockhead like he was. The only thing he had going for him was the muscles, where I had... still muscle. My muscle was just less... muscle... and more out-of-shape bulkiness. That was all.
I snorted a bit as Cadenza's sweet voice replayed through my head, telling me to be nicer and less judgmental. Oh, how many times I'd been told to do so. Every time I did, I'd been mocked relentlessly and told to piss off. Only Auntie Celestia, Cadenza, and... though I loathe to admit it... Shining Armor would ever give me the time of day when I stopped having my back up. Perhaps I needed to see her and get some clarification...
The water turned off with a dull hiss as I let my hoof linger upon the dial, the cascading sound replaced by several slow, staccato drips against the marble below. A deep breath of steam surged through my lungs as I inhaled, the warmness almost cleansing as it flooded through my body- a baptism within. Tonight, I would be reborn, if only for a few hours. Tonight, I would play Cadenza's little game, and see if it won me any more of her favor. Tonight, I would seek her out, and show her my nice side.
The very thought made me want to vomit.
The shower door slid open with a thunderous bang, chased by heavy footsteps as I trudged out onto the tile. With a quick swirl of cerulean magic, the pink towel across the room flew from its rack and slithered around my chiseled form, hugging every curve and causing my stomach to jiggle only slightly as it passed down and around my undercarriage. Being a unicorn was so convenient. I really had no idea how the other two thirds of the population lived with themselves.
The cloth found its way over the shower bar as it was tossed backward without a care. I had far more important things to attend to- namely, putting myself back in my princess' good graces. Nothing could stop me from my goal as I headed straight for the door, wrenching the handle backward with more force than necessary. Nothing, that is, except the wall of white and blue meat waiting on the other side.
"...Vlad." There stood Shining Armor, wearing his full namesake as he blinked, one hoof raised to knock upon the door that was no longer there. I stared directly into his eyes for a good few seconds, my mane still dripping and sending rivulets of water down my neck in the awkward silence.
"...Armor. Did you need something?"
The burly stallion slowly reached up and removed his helmet, cupping it beneath a foreleg as shook out his mane. "Yeah, I just wanted to let you know that the prisoner you brought in is safely down in the dungeons. I kinda checked his records, and he's got one hell of a rap sheet. Almost the entire thing is theft, but he's damn good at it. Can I come in?"
My left eye twitched involuntarily at the suggestion, but I kept my cool as I stepped off to the side with a sigh. "By all means. You are basically family, at this point."
"For better or worse," he joked, clapping me lightly on the shoulder as he passed. I hated it when he did that. It was like we were part of some juvenile sports team, or as if he was trying to reassure me. Let's not forget who outranked who, here. Still... no better way to win Cadenza's favor than to treat her meathead- husband , rather- as though he wasn't something I'd found stuck to the cup of my hoof.
"...can I get you anything? Pinot noir, beer, a simple water...?" A juice box, you little tw-
"Water's good. Thanks, man." Shining set his helmet upon the table and his rump upon a recliner, stretching out as his neck popped. For all of the tension between us, I could at least admit he was a hard worker, and did his job well. That, and for whatever reason, he didn't seem to despise me. That feeling wasn't mutual.
"So a record, you said? What exactly has this little... pony gotten himself into in the past?" I called back as I walked into the kitchenette, headed for the tap. Basic plumbing was a wonderful thing, though only the richest could truly afford it.
"Like I said- mostly thievery. I don't understand why he doesn't show up as tagged with any known organizations, though. The kid's a professional."
"Kid? He's your age," I quipped while walking back with his water. He accepted the glass with a small nod and a grin, crossing his hind legs as he leaned back.
"And you think I'm a kid, don't you, Uncle Vlad ?"
"Piss off. 32 isn't old."
"You're only as old as you feel," he replied before taking a sip.
"Platitudes mean nothing. Simple words for the simple-minded. What exactly was he stealing?"
"Little of this, little of that." He took another sip, making a refreshed noise, as though it was the first drink he'd had in days. "Mostly gemstones, from what I understand. He used to peddle things on the black market quite a bit."
My teeth ground together absently as I considered the words, wondering how deep into the criminal underground this pony had ventured. Suddenly, something clicked.
"...wait, that's not right- the guards who confronted him with me said he was a first-time offender. Where did you get this information, if they weren't privy to it?"
"Simple. He gave it to me himself." Shining drained the water before setting the glass down beside his helmet. "Doesn't make a lick of sense, but he just wouldn't shut up about his past heists once I had him behind bars. We had a bit of a conversation, and he gave me quite a few names, without prompting. Confirmed a lot of suspicions we've had for years, now."
I blinked. "You're joking."
"Dead serious."
"So he just... volunteered all of that, whilst playing it up like this apple was his first conquest?"
"Seems that way. Something's weird, here... and what's more, he specifically asked me to come to you. He wants to talk to you, tonight or tomorrow."
The convict wanted to speak to me? I had absolutely no idea whatever for, but I had to admit- I was slightly intrigued. What with this whole runaround that we'd been lead on, and this new information, something needed to be done. I'd been accused of being a layabout far too often for my liking, and so, I took it upon myself to work out this situation. Come morning, though... I would be right back to snapping at these foals and making sure they knew what was what.
"Hm. I've a few hours before I retire. Perhaps I'll pay him a visit." I rose from the chair in tandem with Shining, watching as he offered a hoof. Reluctantly, I grasped it, and offered him the most artificial smile I'd put on in the past week.
"Good luck."
I was unable to hide my sneer as I moved for the door, beating him outside as he closed the entrance behind us. That arrogant ass, thinking I needed something so base as luck . The only luck tonight was that the conversation ended when it did. Otherwise, he'd have been dealing with the wrath of a prince.
I offered him only a backward wave, not bothering to turn as I trotted down the hallway and toward the spiral staircase leading down to the lower floors. The muffled sound of a helmet resting back atop a mane and the sensation of a pair of eyes upon my back were the only reply.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Turning Profits and Tables
I had only ever been down in the dungeons once before that night. The filthy, stinking, noisy cages containing the utter filth of Canterlot weren't interesting to me in the slightest, and I found them deplorable just by virtue of their purpose alone. Of course, had all of the unworthy been thrown down there as they should be, the entire palace would instead be a prison. My mind's eye and memory held the place as a grime-caked, dimly-lit... cavern smelling faintly of piss and rags. It wasn't much different from the streets, really. How fitting for the guest that I happened to be looking for.
My senses were assaulted as I flung open the heavy oaken door at the top of the stone staircase leading to the dungeons, and for a moment, I was utterly confused. The tunnel was well-lit, and the wave of stink I had been expecting was nowhere to be found. Had I misremembered the pit of the vagabonds deep beneath my polished home, or were things cleaner down here than ever before? Though it truly didn't matter, I couldn't help but sneer as my expectations weren't met, as usual. Some often accused me of living in my own little world. In turn, I accused them of not having the balls to admit the realities of life. That usually shut them up but good, bar a few of the more irritating verbal combatants around the premises. Either way, the time for thought was long gone. Were I thinking, I wouldn't have initiated my descent to go and answer the call of one so far beneath me to begin with. Truly, something mad had overtaken my mind. If only I could have figured out what it was.
The thunderous clack of my hooves against the worn stone was certainly one of my less-subtle entrances, but I wasn't about to complain. Truth be told, I wanted them to look at me... and look at me they did. The dregs of Canterlot looked up from behind their cold, well-deserved bars as I carefully transitioned to the mosaic-style floor. Their eyes were filled with hatred or longing as I passed, depending upon the pony in question. Both emotions simply spurred me to upturn my nose even higher, basking in the sheer admiration and jealousy that the supposed 'poor souls' were projecting. The sight of the parasites and addicts, whores and thieves cold, alone, and desperate was like the sweetest candy to my eyes. It made me feel good to be royalty... until I finally found him .
There in his little cell did Moss lie, his legs crossed, forehooves folded neatly behind his head, and chewing a stalk of wheat , of all things. Such a filthy commoner habit, typical among dirty farming folk. I wouldn't be caught dead doing such a thing, but it didn't matter. Seeing the little scamp so comfortable in his confinement brought an immediate surge of anger up through my chest, and I struck a hoof against the bars as quickly as I could, intending to make a sharp noise and startle the stallion.
The moment the blow rang out, his eyes closed and opened, upturned to meet mine, his gaze cold and unforgiving, as though I had just spit in his face from point blank. The sight was... honestly, terrifying . A coldness unlike anything I had ever seen hid behind those filthy little sapphire lights, free of malice and judgment, or resent. The feeling it gave me was impossible to describe, but if I had to make the effort, I'd have chosen sick . A tiny pulse of nausea crept up into my throat as he glared at me, and as quickly as the gesture had happened, it was gone, replaced by a lopsided smile and his usual, obnoxiously playful brow quirk. I opened my mouth to comment, but he beat me to the punch.
"If it ain't Little Boy Blue. Welcome to my humble abode, my friend," the little stallion sang as he rose into a catlike stretch, arching his back. I noticed that he was without his ratty vest, and I shivered a bit as I watched his scrawny back rise into the air. I could literally see the vertebrae at the apex of the motion, lending him an almost skeletal appearance. Down here in the dark, he looked more in his element, but also... unnatural. I needed to leave as quickly as possible, but not before putting the little cretin in his place.
"That is Prince Vladimir Blueblood to you. What is it you require? If it's any form of comfort, let me bestow upon you a single grace by letting you save your breath. My answer is no."
"Aw, man... and here I was going to beg for some pillows from Cadie-Wadie's room, and maybe some of her perfume. She smells divine , wouldn't you agree? For some strange reason, I think you definitely do."
I turned my face to the side, hoping the torchlight and action would be enough to hide, or at least dampen, my blush.
"Shut your mouth until you are spoken to. I will ask you only once again- what is it that you want of me? Shining Armor told me that you specifically requested to see me. If you're wasting my time, I'll squeeze through those bars and wring your neck myself."
Moss let out a raspy chuckle, his ribs pushing out a bit as he heaved in each breath. He was truly a disgusting creature, and given his supposed record, I had no doubt that the fault was his own entirely. "I want to make a business deal. You look to be an enterprising stallion, Mister Blood. My talents might lie in... procuring things, but I didn't give Shining Armor the full story. Why would I? In fact, which story you get depends on a lot of things, my mood included. Right now, I'm in a pretty good one, so don't fuck it up if you want to make mucho bits in minimo time, capiche?"
The sneer he received from me was automatic, but I decided to at least listen to his proposition. The promise of money was a promise I always wanted to see kept, and if there was minimal effort on my end- whether his end was illegal or not- then I saw no reason not to capitalize upon it. Besides, if he was the one doing shady business, who would honestly come after me over it? Having two wonderful, royal aunties did come in handy every now and again.
"...I'm listening, but make it quick. It's almost time for tea and bed."
"Tea, huh? You know, I've never had tea. Not once in my entire life. Must be nice, having luxuries..." he swaggered up to the bars, pressing his snout between two of the dirty rods, not minding the sensation in the slightest. I couldn't help but recoil at the sight. "...of course, some things you have I don't consider a luxury. Things like a home ."
"Get to the point," I snapped. "I don't have the time or inclination to deal with your... what is that smell?" I tilted my head, suddenly feeling a bit groggy and heavy-headed. A sickeningly sweet, almost fruity odor permeated the air in the middle of our conversation, reminiscent of the red lantern district on the opposite side of town. Well, what I assumed it would smell like. A noblepony such as I would never be caught in a slum like that. That was why I always called my whores here, instead.
Moss made an exaggerated sniffing motion, once again raising his brow as he scratched at the shortened locks of mane that hung messily about his neck. "It ain't me. Probably some fungus growing down here or some shit. Anyhow... I'll make you a deal. Shining Armor mentioned something about a homeless shelter being built soon. He's too goody-goody to go for something kinda questionable... but you seem like a creep, behind closed doors. Actually, you seem like a creep in general. A sexy creep, I might add. Nice half-pecs you're workin' on there, man."
The comment unsettled me to the core as I looked down, noticing that I had forgotten my suit and bow tie. The whispered curses were immediate, as I looked thoroughly indecent and common without it, which was clearly unacceptable. I'd simply have to pray that nopony saw me on my return trip to my chambers. The revelation, coupled with the fact that another stallion was hitting on me and the odd smell lingering about was enough to push my patience to its limit, and I thrust my hoof out to hammer into his snout. Moss recoiled with a yelp, rubbing at his muzzle and looking scandalized.
"Well excuse me for paying you a compliment. Homophobe."
"Or perhaps I simply have standards."
"Not if you accept this deal," he segued without missing a beat. Moss clicked his jaw to one side and shivered a little, effectively shrugging off the blow as he returned to his former position, snout halfway through the bars. "I want a permanent slot at that shelter, in exchange for making you filthy rich. Or... richer, probably."
"...I'm listening." He certainly knew how to catch somepony's attention, even if most of the attention he received was negative.
"I'm a self-styled acquisition specialist. I like shiny things. Gems, jewelry... sometimes I steal it and sell it, so I can eat. Sometimes I go exploring in caves around Canterlot, get my shit legally, and sell the haul. Doesn't make a difference to me, really. I know of some cave networks around here that haven't been exploited yet, since they've been condemned as too dangerous to mine. You could make that go away... and I'll give you a cut of the profits from the black market. Give me that opportunity and a stable home, and I'll give you money and a bit of excitement."
"Excitement? I don't need your brand of 'excitement', you swine. Whatever you're planning, leave me out of it, unless you'll simply be pushing bits my way for signing some stupid papers." I waved my foreleg in a dismissive motion, only to find it caught in midair by his. I was too shocked to do anything other than stare as my pedicured hoof was captive in his surprisingly strong grip. The muscles of his sinewy leg bulged a bit as he shot me a glare, his attitude suddenly all business.
"Listen- the caves are walled off for a reason, but that reason sucks. I'll need a rough-and-tumble partner to get in and get out with the goods. You don't have to come, but I'll need you to find me an escort that won't squeal."
I blinked, trying to wrench my hoof backward and away from him before I answered, only to make no progress. With a sigh of defeat, I blew a strand of blonde hair from my vision before sucking on my teeth. "I'll consider it, but that's all you'll get from me tonight. I need time to mull this over and see just what it is that you're asking for."
"Fine, fine. Go check out maps of local caves, and see what you'd be willing to do. I'm assuming you have access to that stuff, otherwise you wouldn't have a compass on your ass."
Moss released my hoof and I immediately drew it back to the ground. Again, he was right... and strangely so. Not many others had realized that I, just like everypony else, had earned my cutie mark, and had a talent. Those poor, deluded foals who assumed that I was simply royalty because of blood were ignorant. Little did they know, I had a prodigious talent for cartography. If nothing else, maybe the foal before me would come to appreciate it before this whole escapade was all over.
"I do, and fair enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do have a kettle with my name on it, and an ostrich-down quilt to rest beneath. Have fun with your stone floor, criminal."
"I will. More than you'll ever understand."
I simply shook my head and trotted for the staircase, only to be stopped by his voice once again.
"Yo Prince!"
I turned my head and cocked one eye backward, thoroughly disinterested as I slowed to a stop.
"...have yourself a good sleep, yeah? We'll talk tomorrow, once I get out."
"...tch." I turned and trotted for the dungeon door without another word.
A faint clatter arose as I set my empty tea cup upon the bedside table, thoroughly satisfied with the brew, my fifth of the day. One could never have enough tea, after all, even just before bed. Auntie insisted that it kept me awake, but what did she know? I had my rituals, as she had hers. If only she would stay out of my business.
I pulled my bathrobe tighter around me as I leaned up to blow out the candle resting beside my emptied mug, relishing the warmth against the bitter winter night. Thoughts of how cold Creeping Moss and his ilk must be down there only served to make me feel warmer, and so I wriggled beneath my comforter with a small sigh and closed my eyes. It was good to be a prince.
Slumber was fast approaching when my peaceful rest was disturbed by something peculiar. The faintest scratching sound caught my attention, and my ear flicked a bit in response to the noise. At first, I passed it off as nothing. Perhaps the castle was settling, or... does stone settle? Did it really matter?
A second, louder series of scrapes rang out, from somewhere nearby. The sound was muffled, as though some woodland creature was on the rooftop or making a nuisance of itself upon the windowsill. Needless to say, I didn't bother to open my eyes. It couldn't have been that important... or scary...
And so the third set of scratches came, from somewhere inside of the room. The scraping, dragging sound was loud , and loud enough to tell me that it was extremely close by. I drew the covers up more tightly around myself, shivering involuntarily as my heart began to pound. I grit my teeth and slowly cracked open my eyes, peering into the darkness through the small inlet of light that I allowed in. It wasn't nearly enough.
My breathing came out in tiny, ragged gasps as I fully opened my eyes, taking a moment to let them adjust to the darkness. At first, there was nothing, and I wondered if the stress of the day hadn't simply gotten to me and conjured up this little nightmare. Moments later, my breath hitched in my chest as I saw them- two magenta, glowing eyes, far enough off the floor that they couldn't belong to a normal pony, seemed to float mere feet away from my bed. My mind raced as my heart stopped, my mind running through all possible scenarios to explain away the horror before me. I only knew one set of eyes of that color, and at that height. It had to have been...
"A-a-a-auntie C-celestia...?"
"You wish, little colt."
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Many things happened in that moment, none of which I am particularly proud of, or fond of mentioning. First, and for the first time since the previous day, I screamed with such a high pitch that I could have been mistaken for a filly. Second, and immediately afterward, I sat bolt upright in bed, tangling my legs within the sheets as I flailed in sheer desperation to find an escape, only to end up on the floor for my efforts. The hard marble knocked the wind out of me as I crashed onto my back, all breath stolen as I stared straight up through the utter blackness at a pair of strange, glowing eyes. Finally... well...
I scrambled to my hooves with another scream, slipping a bit as a puddle formed beneath where I had been lying. I closed my eyes, lowered my head, and ran as quickly as my legs could carry me, my dampened thighs swishing as I barreled through the bedroom door, knocking it clear off its hinges. Whatever monster had decided to visit that night followed, close on my trail. I couldn't help but feel as though it was toying with me, and had my pursuer willed it... I would have been long dead.
"Oh come along, Vladimir . It's only Cadance. Stop running, and I'll gladly show you proof," the voice sang, chased by an icy laugh that made the fur on my neck stand on end. I continued to sprint, chest and lungs heaving as I slid into the hallway, trying to find help.
"Auntie Celestia! Auntie Luna!" I bit my lower lip, unwilling to believe I would stoop to such lows. "...Shining Armor! Anypony, help! T-there's a monster!"
Stupidly, I spun in my place in the hallway outside my room, frozen to the spot in sheer terror. The only sound remaining was my labored breathing, and the chattering of my teeth as I danced in place from hoof to hoof, unable to do anything. The pursuer had either fled, or was planning something...
Just as things seemed they couldn't get worse, it happened. The nearby wall-mounted candle's flame flickered, growing dim in an unseen wind.
"No, no , oh please no... in the name of The Sisters, d-don't..."
It was far too late, as the flame was snuffed out in its entirety. Its brother on the opposite wall soon followed, each set of candles extending down the hallway extinguishing in pairs, as though on a timer. I opened my mouth to scream once again, but found that my throat was far too dry, and my heart had stopped as the length of the hall faded into complete blackness. With nothing else coming to mind, I closed my eyes as tightly as I could. It made little difference.
"P-p-p-please d-don't kill me... I-I never meant any harm," I begged, shrinking down as I began to cry. "I-I'll donate! I'll do community service! I-I'll give you anything you want! Just go away, and let me be!"
Minutes, or seconds... hours passed as I stood there, sniffling as quietly as I could, my flank meeting the floor as I gave in to whatever beast lurked within the shroud of the dark. I had given up all hope of salvation, when a cold, bitter voice sliced through the blackness like a surgical knife.
"There is nothing here. Rise."
The voice did little to reassure me as I opened my eyes and looked about, seeing only faint pinpricks of light in close proximity. My mind soon caught up with my racing heart, and I heaved a sigh of relief as I pulled the much larger mare before me into an embrace, earning myself a disgusted scowl.
"Auntie Luna! You saved me!" I squeezed her thin frame tightly, sputtering a bit as she flapped her wings, getting feathers in my mouth while she pulled away as quickly as possible.
"Unhoof me! Stand up, dust yourself off, and... did you soil yourself? "
I blushed hard, praying that my auntie couldn't see through the darkness. Naturally, she could.
"...you are disgusting . Whatever fear you are fleeing from is long gone. Come." Luna immediately spun on her hooves, walking with her wings flared. Each pair of candles reignited as she passed them, bathing the stone and tapestries in the warmth of light that seemed so foreign around her. I simply sat and watched, dumbfounded by her directness and strange behavior.
"Come ," she repeated, still walking away to parts unknown. I didn't need to be told again, and quickly scrambled to my hooves to walk at her side, refusing to meet her eyes.
"...where are we g-"
"My room. Move quickly and quietly, lest we be seen." The large alicorn nodded sharply to herself as she spoke, offering me nothing more. I trotted in silence for only a few steps, unable to resist the urge to question her.
"But... why? You said I was dis-"
"You are."
"Then why assist m-"
"Celestia has informed me that I am obligated to love you. Do not push my tolerance." Luna finished her statement with a snort, and I found my hooves an inch off the floor in reaction before I returned to the plush carpet below. The lump in my throat that had been idling for the past half hour went down as I swallowed hard, only to redouble as I nodded with a whimper.
The long, thundering noise of the doors to the Royal Chambers opening was always impressive, but it held a greater gravity when the act was done in the dead of night. The low tone almost seemed to serve as a reminder from Luna herself as to how much I owed her for this, and given that we hadn't encountered anypony in the halls, I was indeed grateful, for once. I started toward the Royal Baths, doing my best to hide my shame, though I didn't get far. After only one step, a giant blue wing shot out before my face, signaling me to stop. I was in no state to argue.
"You may use my facilities, but I will accompany you. Nothing untoward is allowed within."
I couldn't help but wonder what she meant by such a statement, but decided not to comment as I dragged my hooves toward a large set of doors. One was painted black, a white crescent moon inlaid upon the center, while its twin was white, with a bright yellow and orange sun as its focal point. How original.
"Are you incapable of even opening a door for yourself?"
I looked up and to the side, my tired eyes meeting those of my aunt. I had hoped that the weariness would perhaps catch her off guard, and draw out the apology I so clearly deserved. No such luck befell me.
"Move ."
The doors opened easily under the pressure from my hoof, their constitution rather frail, despite the solid stonework. Inside laid a place that I had only visited any time in the recent past within my memories. The Royal Baths were elaborate, heavy in their usage of gold and sapphires as decor, and absolutely befitting of my splendor. The sight lifted my mood quite a bit, and I found the facilities to be better than I had remembered them. Auntie Celestia used to wash me within these very walls when I was but a colt, though when I came of age, I was forced to use my own room. My bathroom was grand... but this was absolutely something else.
I lowered my body into the warm water as slowly as I could, making sure to test the temperature with a hoof before I had even dared to consider it. Once the surface touched my belly, an unseen force rocketed my body forward, sending me face first underwater. Trails of bubbles danced for the surface as I whipped my head back and out of the water, gasping for air as the sounds echoed about the cavernous room, only to be met with an unfamiliar chuckle. As I turned to investigate the source of the noise, disbelief rose up to match my level of shame.
There, at the water's edge, stood Luna, her hoof still raised from a well-placed kick. She had a wing tucked beneath her mouth as she laughed, though the noise was quite short-lived.
"That was for approximately half the populace of Canterlot."
I sat in the water, mouth agape. How dare she...
The insolent, azure cow began to walk along the rounded edge of the tub, her short expression of mirth long gone as her face once again held the most serious countenance I had ever had the displeasure to behold. "You are alive."
Unsure how to take the statement, I simply nodded. My hoof reached out to grab at a poof, dark blue and with a black cord. Clearly, it was hers... and she didn't stop me, too busy keeping her eyes upon the edge of the basin. Oh, what sweet revenge I would have.
"Good. I searched the area around you, and found nothing out of the ordinary. Nopony can escape me under cover of darkness, Nephew."
We were well on our way to a full-blown conversation. The day had continued to get ever stranger, with no end in sight bar the dawn itself. I furrowed my brow, placing a generous portion of shampoo upon the poof before I brought it down beneath the water, and straight to my nethers. Oh, how I hoped she would next use it to scrub her face.
"Are you sure, Auntie? I saw a set of eyes... like your sister's, but wrong . They glowed in an unnatural fashion, a-and the pupils w-"
"Weren't there. There were no eyes, as there was nopony there. Stop spouting foolishness."
Luna stopped and shuffled out of her shoes, letting the diamond glass clack against the polished floor as she unlatched her necklace. The obsidian tiara atop her mane stayed put as she lowered herself into a nearby basin, separate from my own. The pool of stars descending from beneath the artifact rested atop the water in a curious fashion, giving the illusion of a small night sky just above the bathwater. Though I didn't use the word often, I had to admit that it... and she ... was beautiful.
"...yes Auntie."
"Do not call me that. Save your false saccharine words for my sister. I am Princess Luna to you."
I only nodded, my eye twitching as I continued to rub myself with the poof, making sure I was good and clean before bringing it back up above the water.
"Yes, Princess Luna."
She heaved a heavy sigh, looking down at the surface of the water for several long moments, seeming to study it. Part of me wondered what she saw, though I thought I had a fairly decent idea. Her eyes never left the liquid below as she spoke.
"...I can sense the fear in your voice. You are truly frightened for your life."
Normally, I would never have played her game... but a blanket of unease was so firmly wrapped about my entire body that I reached out for any form of comfort or contact, even if it was to be a slap.
"Y-yes, Aun... Princess Luna..."
A long, uncomfortable silence reigned as I washed the rest of my body, with Luna simply sitting in the water, her eyes closed. I had no idea what was running through her mind, though she seemed to be at peace. I couldn't say the same... not even close. My mind was racing with thoughts that I could not even categorize properly- Cadenza, myself, Moss, my aunties... it all became a blur.
"Nephew." My head snapped up to meet her eyes, which were now fixated upon me in the creepiest way possible. I couldn't help but wonder if she knew I was once again rubbing myself beneath the water. "You may stay with me tonight, for your safety. It is the right thing for me to do."
For the umpteenth time, my mouth was agape, though I didn't dare question it. "Y-yes. Thank you," I stammered, simply happy to have somepony else near me in case that showed up again. I rose out of the water and concentrated, my horn springing to life with a soft blue glow as a towel floated toward me from across the room. I stepped out of the water and began to dry, the poof alongside me in the air as I gave myself a thorough rubdown.
"...my poof, please."
I froze, the towel sliding along my foreleg in its final pass as she spoke the words. I could have warned her. I could have explained and apologized, or pointed out that I had just used it. Instead, I floated it to her without a second thought, resisting the urge to burst with laughter. The midnight alicorn nodded her thanks, and it was all I could do but to turn and hide my smug grin as the sounds of her beginning to wash echoed throughout the room. I offered the staccato rhythm of hooves to join the symphony as I headed for the door, very satisfied with myself.
Payback's a bitch.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
I awoke several hours later to the harsh rays of dawn creeping through the nearby curtains. The deep blue, loosely-woven material did little to block out the sunlight as my auntie rose her flaming globe up into the sky. I watched with weary eyes as the gigantic ball rose above the horizon, gradually spreading light across Equestria and signaling that a new day, full of new opportunities had begun. Many found it symbolic, inspiring, and beautiful. I found it absolutely obnoxious.
The dark alicorn curled around me barely shifted as she instinctively turned her face away from the offending warmth and light, instead tucking her muzzle in close to my belly. Why she had literally decided to accompany me into her bed, I would never understand, but there she was, lying close to me in an almost protective position. Admittedly, it was somewhat nice, and did help me to sleep after the previous night's traumatic events... but it still seemed odd. She had literally no reason to go the extra mile, nor did I have any reason to acknowledge it unless prompted. Fortune clearly favored me, as the frigid cow often slept through the entire day. No thank you or acknowledgement would come from me, unless it was forced. Even then, she would be hard-pressed to get me to admit to any of it.
Slowly, I rose from the goose-down comforter below me. I had elected to sleep above the covers due to sheer exhaustion, and such a move had been my best idea all day. Luna's bed was one of the most comfortable I had ever slept in, and well befitting for a princess of the night. I made a note that I'd have to bamboozle my way into her chambers more often, and hopped off the raised platform and onto the ground. A heady mixture of incense assaulted my senses as I took in a deep, cleansing snort, gathering phlegm before I spit it out the nearby window and onto the streets far below. Hopefully, it hit some peasant meandering about at that ungodly hour. After all, it seemed they needed reminders for something so base as taking a shower.
Navigating Luna's room was a chore, and one that I feared I wouldn't have been able to accomplish without my cutie mark. Throw pillows, telescopes, books, tables, crystal balls, and other ridiculous paraphernalia lay scattered haphazardly atop a garish purple and star-patterned carpet. Sweeping curtains running from ceiling to floor, walls of dark beads separating various sections of the lavish chamber, and burning pots of incense and black flames completed the mysterious and obnoxious atmosphere in a way that screamed only 'Luna'.
Nopony else would live like this, and clearly, nopony else would take it this seriously. There was a reason that no guests were allowed in my smaller auntie's room... which I supposed made me quite privileged. The thought brought the smallest of smiles to my face as I headed for the door, not bothering to spare the sleeping pony another look. I considered sliding open the curtain to let more sunlight in atop the pathetic lump curled upon her bed, but decided against it. I set out with the goal of making the day at least semi-decent. With the promise of riches and subterfuge awaiting, the odds seemed stacked high in my favor.
Some ponies did a double-take when being met with something they simply could not believe. That day, I found myself doing a quadruple take, with my eyes performing a fifth pass over the rumpled parchment soon after. He had to be kidding. This had to be some kind of a joke. Only two known cave networks near Canterlot were condemned, and neither one was an option for exploration. The first was underwater. Far underwater, and completely uncharted. No theorized list of resources within, no note of the supposed dangers provided... the entire place had only been marked as having killed several would-be spelunkers and cave-divers. Much too dangerous and vague to be worth anything, or so I figured from an initial glance. The other option was arguably much worse.
Option two was located deep within the Cradlebrook Forest, a good mile outside the city's walls. The forest itself was issue enough, quite easily giving the Everfree a run for its money. The vegetation was hazardous, the air quality poor, and the inhabitants either insane or suicidal. The tiny, scribbled-in note beneath the location's name upon the map only confirmed my suspicions that Moss was out of his mind. In an elegant, feminine scrawl, the word 'Chimera' was written in bright red ink. There was no way anypony could be allowed to go near there.
Not legally, anyway.
Magical screens had been erected around both areas, triggered to alert Celestia herself if anypony dared cross the boundaries. The barriers were quite obvious, and carried a spoken warning as anypony foolish enough to defy them approached. Usually, it would be enough to do the trick... but I knew ways around such things. Only the higher-ups and members of the royal family had been given clearance to trespass in such locations by using a counter spell. That meant that if Moss was to risk his neck and go into these deathtraps, I would have to accompany him at least to the entrances. Finding somepony who would follow him farther in and be unwilling to rat us out was a near necessity... but running down the list in my mind produced almost nothing. I had no option but to hope that he would be willing to enter alone after all, once I got him inside. Part of me knew that it wouldn't work out that way. Another part of me didn't really care. After all, if we were to do this, we would do it by my rules.
I gathered up the maps before me, one of the areas surrounding Canterlot, and another showing what little was known of the interior of the second cave. As I began to slip a bind around the second scroll, something caught my eye. Notes had been made about the cave itself within the margin, all about what had been found in the few trips made inside by royal guards. Bones, boulders, some oddly-named varieties of plant, and... corundum dust. Pure corundum was a magically vulnerable gemstone, and one often used in catalysts and powders. Its hardness made it notoriously difficult to crush, and it was often even harder to find at all. If the notes were correct, and the cargo so noted did indeed exist somewhere deeper inside the cave... then the opportunity was too good to pass up, chimera or no.
I finished binding the scrolls and slung them into a saddle bag at my side, a renewed vigor in my breast after having seen opportunity on a scale that rarely showed itself. I set out at a brisk pace and headed for the staircase at the end of the hall, nearly bowling over some other nobles in my haste. The couple tittered and scoffed, but I didn't even take the time to slow down and properly sneer at them. There was money to be made.
"But sir, he isn't due to be released for another two ho-"
"I do not care . Open this cell door, or you will be fired and subsequently slain." I puffed out my chest, glaring daggers at the insubordinate guard standing before Moss' new little home. The little scamp himself stood just behind the bars, watching with an amused expression as I towered over some young, useless pegasus in gold armor. The guard stood shaking in his spot, unable to move for fear of defying me. As I reached my hoof back for the rapier hanging next to my saddle bag, the colt squealed and turned, frantically jamming the key in the lock. That never got old.
"A-alright! Alright! I'll let him go, b-but you need to fill out the proper paperwork for tracking purpose-"
"You will fill out the paperwork. I have far more important things to attend to. Forge my signature, and make it convincing. I have not the time for your regulations and stupidity. If any word comes out that I skipped out on the process, I will find you... and those looking for your body will not ," I finished with a twisted grin, absolutely loving the power I had over the quivering ball of feathers. He simply slid the cell door to the side before he nodded, on the verge of tears, and ran for the dungeon staircase. Was that really the best auntie's guard had to offer?
"Thanks for the save, fatass. What's got you moving so quickly this morning?" Moss walked out of the cell, wringing his hooves as he approached me with a yawn. His mane was more disheveled than usual, and the dirt stains all over his fur made it quite obvious that he had slept on the floor, rather than the small bed provided to him.
"Opportunity. Address me as 'Prince', you knave. I have the maps and clearance, though I will be forced to accompany you on this misguided adventure. There's corundum within one of the cave networks you were eyeing."
"I know," he replied with a toothy grin as he began to walk toward the stairs, away from me.
"You know? What the hell do you mean 'you know?'" I inquired as I began to follow along behind him.
"I mean, I know . Why do you think I'm asking for your help? I have my ways of getting information... and speaking of getting things, we need to stop by mi casa before we head out. I'm not going in unarmed."
I blinked in confusion as we began to ascend the staircase. I decided to take position beside, and then before him, leading the much smaller pony toward my room and hoping he wouldn't question the change of direction. "Your home? I was under the impression that the street was your home."
"I have a slab of cardboard and a travel sack to call my own, under a bridge. It won't take long... and the gate's that way, chubs." He stopped on the spot and pointed, an eyebrow raised at me as though I was some sort of colossal idiot.
"I'm well aware, skin-and-bones. However, If I'm going to be traveling with you, however briefly, you will be cleaning yourself up. Come. You may use my facilities but once, for the sake of my olfactory processes." I turned once again and began to walk, hoping that he would follow without protest. He did.
"Sweet. I don't really see the point, but I won't argue. You do realize I'm going to get dirtier than your morals by the time I get in and out of that sweet, jagged little hole?"
The way he said the words sent a chill up my spine, but I chalked it up to Moss simply being... Moss . For all of his idiosyncrasies, obnoxiousness, and general filth... I was almost beginning to not want him slaughtered mercilessly, sometimes.
"Cleanliness is godliness. Get going." I stood on my hind legs, holding the door for him as he slipped inside."
"I'll be just but a moment, good sir," he sang, mocking my accent as he headed for the bathroom. I followed him inside and took my spot on the couch, letting my thoughts wander as the sound of water hitting the floor began to tap out a rhythm within the other room.
I stared down at the hilt of my rapier, running a hoof over its mirrored blade. The guard was an alloy of gold and other, harder metals, inlaid with several sapphires around a large, diamond-cut amethyst in the center. The gemstone caught the light from the nearby candles, turning the crystals a deep reddish color as I stared down into the brilliant surface, seeing a warped version of my own face reflected back up at me. A second image slid up beside my own, its expression somewhat curious.
"Whatcha got there, boss?"
I didn't answer, and instead turned my head back to look at the offensive little creature, where I found a stallion almost worthy of respect for his looks alone. There stood Moss, his mane still wild, but clean. The sweeping spikes and unkempt, swishy strands between almost seemed to shine in the light, completely absent of grime and dirt. His coat was equally spotless, to the point that the white nautiluses upon his flanks almost seemed to glow. Without his vest, his skeletal frame was amplified, the wet, deep green fur clinging to his lithe but powerful muscles. He was truly a strange pony... underfed, but reasonably built. Clean, but messy in his own way. Tolerable at the moment, but stealing a scone from the coffee table uninvited, and dancing out of the way as I aimed a slap for his face.
"Oi!"
"Too slow. You can't expect me to make you money on an empty stomach. C'mon, let's roll." He popped the rest of the substance into the air and caught it in his mouth, in a most vulgar and unsophisticated display. I shook my head and began to follow, before I noticed that his ratty vest lay slung across a chair on the other side of the room.
"Hey! Get your filthy rags out of my room. It's much to cold to travel without them, anyway."
Moss simply shrugged and continued to walk out the door, leaving the garment behind. "I'm used to it, and it's reason to come back." He offered a cheeky grin and disappeared from sight, around the corner and into the hallway.
I didn't quite understand the meaning of his words, nor did I care at the time. I simply snorted and grabbed my traveling cloak, along with a spare. His talents were no good to me if he was dead, after all. With one final check of the maps, I sheathed the rapier at my side, secured my saddle bags, and trotted out the door to meet up with the earth pony, who was heading for the castle gates. This would turn out to be an interesting day indeed...
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
It would almost have been sad, had it been somepony less obnoxious, and had I not much greater concerns on my mind at the time. The freezing droplets of rain continued to snake their way along the underside of the bridge's arch, eventually dripping down into my mane as I stood watching Moss rifle through his belongings. The unusually clean stallion was leaned over a desecrated piece of cardboard, presumably his 'bed', searching under and around the slab for bits of change and... whatever else it was that poor ponies valued. A shiver ran down my spine as a particularly cold rivulet of water sullied my mane once again, leading to a high-pitched whine.
"For the love of my auntie, are you almost done yet? It's dreadful out here, even under this rickety bridge!"
Moss let out a snort of derision and annoyance before glaring over his shoulder at me. "First of all, this rickety bridge is made out of stone, and isn't going anywhere. Second of all, if you're going to bitch, go to the tavern up on the main road, and wait. It ain't far, and you're not helping to speed up the process. Beggars can't be choosers. I would know."
I countered his snort with one of my own, shifting a bit to get out of the drizzling droplets that occasionally fell from above. "Of course I'm not helping. I would never dare to dirty my hooves on such filth!"
"This 'filth' is my home, until you follow through on our deal. Which, by the way..." before I could react, I found a shimmering, pointed wedge of metal mere inches from the space between my eyes, held aloft and thrust outward by a green and blue-tipped hoof. I opened my mouth to say something, but found that no words would come to me. "...you'd better keep, or things will get messy . I kinda like you, in some stupid way. Don't make me have to get violent."
As the blade spun back away from me, I finally caught a glimpse of its manufacture. A simple, though quite long, butterfly knife snapped closed in Moss' hoof before disappearing into the cloak I'd loaned him. Such weapons were definitely illegal in Canterlot... but then again, so were half of the things we were about to do.
"Your little rapier might be fast, but I'm faster. Don't test me. I'll be leading this little expedition, and I'm not going to tolerate your mouth if you keep dissin' what little I've got. We clear?"
I let out a huff, my brows furrowing as I glared down at the skeletal scag beneath me. "I will do and say what I please. Don't forget who is getting you past that infernal barrier. You need me."
Moss pulled his lips back into a sneer and his eyes seemed to flash for a brief second, before he pulled his head to the side and spit upon the ground. I tittered in disgust at the action as he turned back to a small sack upon the moistened ground. "Yeah. I do."
Awkward silence followed our short exchange, affording me time to take in the full scope of the city around us. The tiny bridge-turned-living-space was situated in a sunken canal, with a narrow, shallow stream separating two tracts of white marble walkways, upon one of which rested Moss' belongings. Up above was a footpath, though it was seeing little use on account of the wintery mix of rain and snow coming from on high. Moss seemed strangely annoyed by the assault, though if I had to sleep out here every night, I supposed I would have been as well.
Rustling and clacking noises rang out as Moss lifted some dilapidated glassware from his small bag, stashing a few vials and a flask within the folds of his stately, rippling cloak. The attire almost made him look sophisticated, though it was admittedly hard to make a frog look pretty, even in the fanciest of coats.
"So... you sleep here, all year round? Even in a storm?"
"Don't have a choice, unless I can break into a store without being caught. That's a rare opportunity, especially given that I like to keep a low profile. Why the hell do you suddenly care?" He turned back to face me, apparently done with his search as he tied a rope back around the mouth of his burlap sack.
"In truth, I don't. I simply don't see how one could stomach such base accommodations."
"...do you naturally talk like a starched twat, or are you putting effort in? Either way, it's pretty impressive. Let's move."
I merely shook my head as I followed the pony before me, pulling the hood of my cloak back up as winter's assault began once again. "I merely try to use diction befitting of my status."
"If you don't shut up for the rest of the hike, I'll show you some diction ," he mumbled in response. It had been a long time since I'd heard somepony so close to me speak with such venom and implied vulgarity. It was almost becoming fun, in a competitive sort of way.
"That will be quite difficult without a tongue ."
"So would denying your involvement if we get caught. Your move, chunky."
Oh, he was good. I opened my mouth to retort, when a familiar smell assaulted my nostrils. That same, cloying concoction that had been wafting through the cells down in the dungeons permeated the city air, so sweet that it was almost sickening. Moss let out a few exaggerated sniffles as he stopped in the middle of the cobblestone road, looking around as he blinked and squinted.
"What is that, man? Do you nobles actually shit roses after all?"
I pulled the fringe of my cloak upward and over my nose in a futile attempt to block out the stench. My reply came out a bit muffled, and I honestly wasn't sure if he'd heard me at all.
"It isn't me! Perhaps the Red Light District...?" I cast my eyes a short distance down the road to our left, where crimson lanterns hung in the windows. I'd spent my fair share of time with mares from such a place, but none had ever smelled like that . The heady aroma was all-encompassing, and the longer it lingered... the more I started to like it...
"Come on! Let's get out of here, I feel like I'm about to pass out!"
Without warning, Moss broke into a sprint down the road, and I was soon to follow, desperate to get out of the cloud of strange perfume before it overwhelmed my senses. I looked back as he and I thundered down the road as quickly as we could, and found naught but swirling snow and howling wind in our wake.
A good two hours passed as we trekked through the forest, exchanging the occasional snipe at each other as we stopped to check the map and navigate through the underbrush. Our journey went largely without incident, and the snow had fortunately stopped once we'd reached a good distance from the city walls. Pegasi soared overhead, busting what few clouds remained to give way to a bright, midday sun, ushering in all of the annoyances that came with it.
I blinked rapidly as a cloud was cleared, letting a ray of sunlight pierce through the forest canopy and reflect off the snow, directly into my eyes. I stopped dead and raised a hoof to shield myself from the sunny assault, annoyed beyond all reason with the resulting sneeze that roared through the trees as I tried to collect myself.
"You alright, big guy?"
Moss did a roundabout in the snow, stepping lightly as his hooves crunched against the crystallized powder underfoot. He shook out his mane, clearing flakes of the stuff from his neck, and making further droopy spikes within the deep blue rat's nest of hair that sat atop his brow like an explosion of paint. For once, he seemed to show genuine concern as he stood before me, shivering and clearly uncomfortable, despite the traveling cloak around him.
"...I'm fine. Snow blindness, is all." I chased his shiver with one of my own before removing a scroll from my saddlebags and unfurling it. It took mere seconds for me to get my bearings and find our location, something that never failed to impress my rather simple companion. It was good to feel useful, especially when it came to my cutie mark.
"We're not far at all. The barrier is a mere hundred feet or so, just over that hill." I pointed with my left hoof, a collection of spruce trees and a slight incline all that remained between us and chimera territory. "I'll make a nice little hole, and you do your business."
"I went before we left."
I merely stared at him blankly, watching the stupid grin twist across his lips as he made another asinine joke that I didn't quite catch. "Get in, get what you want, and get out."
"Aw, you're not coming in with me?" He drew out the syllables to the complaint, his grin still fully evident. I didn't like where this was going, not one bit.
"No, our agreement was nothing of the sort. I am to get you in, you are to find the gems, and we are to leave afterward, together, to stash them elsewhere," I stated matter-of-factly as I began to walk up the hill.
"Oh really? And how, exactly, do you expect me to find the gems inside if I can't see ? You didn't bring a lantern or torch, did you?"
I froze mid-step, shooting Moss a harsh glare.
"It'd be such a shame to go all the way back, and it must be difficult to find an opening in your busy schedule for us to do this again. I guess you're going to have to come in with me and light the way for this poor little earth pony," he sang, voice dripping with amusement.
"...you planned this. You stinking, boney little devil-weasel."
"Of course I did. It'd be dull without you, Bluebutter. Besides, you could use the exercise, the stale air, and who doesn't want to be in incredibly close, potentially stifling places with good old me?"
It took every ounce of restraint that I had available not to throttle the little bastard, but I somehow pulled it off. We crested the hill as I silently fumed, trying to think of Cadenza to calm my nerves as a thin, glittering veil of magic stood before us, just where the treeline ended.
"None are permitted to enter this place," came a warning in Celestia's voice. "Turn back, lest the guard be summoned for your own safety."
"Drumroll please," Moss drawled before yawning, completely unimpressed as the tip of my horn began to dance with a light blue stream of magic.
"It is I, Prince Vladimir Blueblood. I have Class B clearance, and will not be denied. Stand aside... wench ."
"Oooooh, pretty sick burn for someone with Class B clearance," Moss chided with a toothy grin.
"I will end you, you little twerp. Get inside." I pointed forward at a widening hole in the veil and couldn't help but smile just a little as he slipped on through. All according to plan... except, of course, for me following him.
"Ya comin'?" he inquired with a tilt of the head, standing stupidly beyond the small hole. In reality, this was it. I could easily turn back, leave him trapped in chimera-infested woods, and be rid of the scamp for the rest of my days. Perhaps it was temporary insanity that set in, or simple morbid curiosity. Perhaps I was even starting to like him, in some strange, twisted way, as a business partner, or whatever else. All I knew was that my hooves answered before my mouth could catch up, and I found myself walking through the closing veil to join his side.
"Shut your obnoxious, impatient little trap. I'm here."
"Good," was all he said before he set out at a run for the mouth of the cave before us. The jagged, scattered rocks in front of the black hole laid silently at the foot of a rather large cliff, looking a bit like massive, stone teeth amid the snow and evergreens around the entrance. Nothing about the place looked safe, and I found myself dragging my hooves as I walked to catch up. It was only when I heard a loud, wooden snap that I picked up into a run, meeting Moss at the entrance.
"Chimera come to eat your fat ass?"
"Very funny. I'd rather not find out. In we go."
"Lardasses first," he chimed, extending a hoof into the pitch black abyss.
I took a deep breath and steeled myself before lighting my horn, watching with bated breath as a curtain of light began to slowly creep up the walls, revealing whatever was lying in wait for us. Moss let out a long, terrified gasp, and I jumped several feet into the air as I swept the light back and forth.
"What!? What is it!?"
"Nothing. Not a god damned thing." The small stallion winked and hopped over a cracked boulder, wasting no time as he made his way into the cave. I was fairly certain as I began to follow that I was going to bash his head in with whatever corundum we found, the very second we found it.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"...so a cleric, a blacksmith, and a noblepony walk into a bar..."
"And the noblepony didn't give a shit, and kept his mind on the task at hoof."
"You suck, ya know that?"
"Not as much as I suspect you do, you filthy hedonist."
"Got that right."
The sounds of howling wind ricocheting against the rocks at the entrance of the cave behind us broke up the conversation as we made our way inside, looking every bit the odd sort of pair to be up to no good at all. Bar the accompaniment of dripping water from the ceiling overhead and the occasional scrape of a pebble being kicked out of the way, no other sounds met my ears as we cautiously made our way forward. Moss elected to take the lead, dancing- sometimes quite literally, to my eternal annoyance- at the edge of the light cast forward by my horn.
"If we've really got a shot in hell at findin' these gems, they'll be pretty deep inside. The stuff's notorious for being far underground, and in scattered patches. No easy victory for us."
"No, of course not. Fate seems keen on making me tolerate the grating sound of your voice for as long as possible, after all." I let out a derisive snort as I advanced, tripping slightly over a fairly large stone. The resulting stumble did just enough to cause a twinge of pain in my hoof, and I let out a hiss along with a curse.
"Alright over there?" Moss inquired from his position a small distance away, not bothering to turn around. His eyes were cast downward, seemingly to the floor as he leaned forward.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Small bruise, nothing more. Worry about yourself," I quipped as I rubbed the reddening tip. Clearly, a post-adventure hooficure would be required.
"I try not to, especially in the mental department. I'd go nuts." The smaller stallion tapped his hoof upon the floor of the cave, letting the rough edge of his foreleg echo against the supple stone. "Yo boss, there's a drop off here. Gimme some light?"
"Boss? You never cease to slightly unsettle and confuse me." For once, I acquiesced to his request, and took my sweet time in walking to the edge, my hooves nearly carrying me downward and into the gaping abyss. The magical light spread out, revealing a steep, but potentially manageable slope. Unfortunately, the cast illumination did little to reveal what was at the bottom, or just how far down the incline reached. Without a second thought, I leaned my head forward to mirror Moss' own, squinting hard to make out any sort of form down below us.
"...long, dark, and seemingly never-ending."
"Sounds a lot like my c-"
"If you finish that sentence, I will toss you over the edge and head home."
We continued to stare in silence, neither of us quite sure what to make of the situation.
"...mine is bigger anyway."
Moss let out a bark of a laugh before nudging my shoulder with his knee. "Been lookin' Big Blue? "
I rolled my eyes and returned the nudge, only to momentarily forget just how much bigger I was than the company I'd chosen. At the rather uncouth shove from my knee, the little stallion stumbled to the side, and subsequently, over and onto the slope, where he quickly slid into the darkness with a yelp.
"Shit! SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIIIIIIIIIIIII-!"
"MOSS!" I watched his frame slip into the darkness almost immediately, and my joints locked all at once. To follow him would have potentially been suicide, all for monetary gain. However, I had already proven that he meant something more to me than most, as I had kept up my part of the bargain thus far, which was indeed a rarity. A final thought crossed my mind before I made my decision- he had been the only one in the past week who had, even if snidely, given me the time of day, and more than a few sentences. He tolerated me, as I tolerated him... and it was always good to have somepony who owed you their life.
I leaped into action, quite literally, and landed hard upon the uneven ground. My swift and hazardous descent began immediately, and I scrabbled my hooves upon the rocks as I desperately searched for a surface to cling to on the way down. The light from the cave entrance quickly disappeared as I slid ten, twenty, an unguessable number of feet downward, only the shaking and jittering light from my horn serving to grant me sight. After a long, fearful slide of what seemed like minutes, the ground rose up to catch me rather unexpectedly, and I rolled into a puddle upon losing control of my hooves. A wet, squelching noise filled the air as I finally slowed to a stop, face-down in a dirty collection of water.
"You are such a douche, you know that?"
I aimed for the source of the noise and spit forth my mouthful of filthy liquid, hoping to at least graze him with the putrid stream. "So I've been told. That answers my question of 'are you alive?' Now, my second would be 'where the hell are we'?"
"Deeper underground, obviously." Moss stepped forward into my light, revealing himself to be covered in dust, soot, and dirt once again. It was strangely fitting for him... though I shuddered to think what I looked like at that moment.
Slowly, I managed to get to my hooves before standing in the quietude, both of us shivering due to the chilled air and our soaked coats. I had lost my traveling cloak on the way down, and with it, both of the maps. Fortunately, my rapier remained at my side, and Moss' own cloak, though tattered and frayed, was still around his neck and back.
"So noted. Let's move forward with haste, find what we need, and... figure out a way back up. It won't be an easy climb."
"Like you said, we should've known this wouldn't be a cakewalk. C'mon, old man." Moss turned and walked deeper into the cave, following the narrow tunnel before us as I trotted to catch up. Some insults simply weren't worth retorting against.
"Keep your eyes peeled. We may soon f-"
I was stopped cold by a taut foreleg pressed into my chest, holding me back from a patch of some sort of red, spongy-looking mass upon the cave floor.
"Bloodlet Moss. All it takes is contact to the skin, and the shit will eat right through it, like an acid. If this is down here, then we're close. Be careful ." The slightly less deadly, though equally as troublesome Moss before me let his hoof drop before walking around the mass, and inviting me to do the same. "Be more careful. I need you in one piece."
"This... thing grows near corundum, is what you're implying?" I squinted downward, looking at the frothy lump. It almost seemed to move on its own, the slightest bit. The sight was just a tad unsettling.
"Tends to, yeah. I know a lot about caves and such, and that pattern seems to hold up. Keep your guard up, and we'll move slower from now on."
Moss leaned down and gently used the blade of his knife to scoop a clump of the deadly substance into one of the vials he'd brought before securing the cap and tucking it away, safe inside his cloak. I didn't question the action, and instead walked ahead, intensifying the light before us as best I could.
"There seems to be a chamber of sorts up ahead. The tunnel gets narrower, and then..." I stopped cold in my tracks, holding up a hoof to signal silence. Moss, amazingly, caught on and obeyed, taking his spot beside me as he pressed up against the wall within the tunnel, his brow furrowed as his ears flicked.
"Sounds simple enough. Getting close shouldn't be an issue, after all."
"Not for us, it won't be. We just gotta keep the wife out of it, an' do it before the foal pops. At least have some consideration, so the kid don't grow up thinkin' it's got a father."
I scrunched up my nose and leaned forward, toward the entrance to the larger space within the cave network. The voices rang a bit clearer, and two silhouettes became barely visible against the dark rock, along with what appeared to be a wooden gate at the far side of the room.
"Yeah, yeah. As for who gets to be captain... we can work that out after the deed's done, yeah?"
"Don't see why not. S'long as it ain't someone what supports dipping into our pay for some filthy orphans or whatever he's doin', I don't much care. Shouldn't be one of us, jus' to keep suspicions low."
"I agree. We'll need a figurehead for the guard, and a scapegoat..."
A light tap upon my shoulder broke my concentration, and I found Moss' hoof resting upon me as he pointed with the other to a spot on one of the walls of the chamber before us. There lied a small outcropping of what was clearly corundum, just past the two conspiring ponies. I took a deep breath and ran a hoof over the hilt of my rapier, gripping it tightly as I motioned for Moss to stay put while I walked forward.
"Cease your treacherous talk, and come silently. The crown will not abide such scheming, and that is discounting the fact that you are both within a restricted area to begin with. Come quietly, and I may resist the urge to carve out your tongues." I thrust my rapier forward at the duo, keeping my chest puffed out and putting on as convincing a display as I could manage. The two ponies merely froze in place, the low light hiding their forms well from my accusing steel.
"Shit, we gotta get out of here!"
"Grab on!"
The ponies moved in tandem, and I gave chase right after. One leaped into the air and spread his wings, revealing himself to be a pegasus as the other gripped his partner's legs, a glow forming at the tip of his forehead. A mirrored wisp of magic rushed along a wooden wheel near to the gate I had noticed, and the device began to turn with several harsh cracks as the fleeing ponies rose ever higher.
"Stop! The pair of you are under arrest by royal decree!"
My words were soon followed by a butterfly knife, the small device living up it its name as it soared through the air. The blade merely grazed the wing of the first fugitive, sending feathers fluttering to the ground while the magic-encased wheel began to shudder and splinter, turned well past its limit as the wooden gate beside it slowly began to rise. A small rush of water seeped out from beneath the gate, quickly beginning to flood the cave floor as the pair of fleeing ponies landed safely upon a high ledge and broke into a sprint, leaving me on the rapidly-flooding ground below.
"Shit! I missed!" Moss ran up beside me and glowered at the silhouettes of the mysterious ponies before looking to the turning wheel. "Blue, we gotta move! That gate's gonna b-"
No sooner than he had begun to speak, the makeshift portal swelled and burst forth, a torrent of water rushing out and soaking the ground as the entire chamber began to fill with water. Moss frantically looked around at the burgeoning waves below, searching desperately for his knife before giving up and running for the tunnel mere seconds later, looking panicked as the water continued to rise.
"Get moving! This whole tunnel's fucked!"
I spun and sheathed my rapier at his words, running hard and fast as another surge of water roared forward, adding to the liquid that was already reaching up to my knees. The sloshing substance made it difficult to run, and I was barely able to keep track of my companion running up ahead as he yelled something out, the words muffled by the sound of crashing waves all around me. A clump of Bloodlet moss floated up and toward my chest as I ran, and I had only the time and space to dodge to the side as the mass floated by, its brush-like tendrils scraping against my left foreleg.
Pain unlike anything I had ever felt shot through the entire limb as the skin began to peel away, and the reason for the name became evident. Fur and skin alike sloughed off and into the water, leaving a large, freely-bleeding network of scratches all along the area just above my knee. I let out a wail and fought back tears, trying my best to focus on escaping the cursed tunnel alive as I reached the base of the slope we had tumbled down before.
Moss was hopping his way up the slope in the darkness, clinging to errant rocks that protruded from the uneven ground as he went. The stallion seemed to be an expert climber, moving almost effortlessly upward as he breathed hard, putting all of his energy into escaping the rush of deadly water that was showing no signs of slowing down as it reached the middle of my chest.
I began to hyperventilate in a panic as I reached out for the first jutting rock that I saw and began to heave myself upwards, only to find the next in sequence much too far out of my ability to jump up to. I closed my eyes and let tears begin to fall, the stinging in my leg pulsing ever harder compounding the problem before me as I watched Moss climb up to safety. Without realizing what I was doing, I looked back over my shoulder, only to find the rushing tide just below me. As the water began to swirl and pool, climbing steadily toward my hooves once again, only one thought crossed my mind.
I didn't know how to swim.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Panicked breaths, the scrabbling of hooves upon rock, and the swirling water below all compounded into a cacophonous symphony, synced to the thrum of adrenaline and blood pounding within my skull as I made a desperate bid to leap upward. My injured leg did me no favors as I wildly thrashed it around, trying to find purchase on anything above. Just as I began to fall, the searing pain nearly doubled as I found my hoof caught upon something and immediately struggled to pull the rest of my body up after the leg. The muscles of my foreleg strained, and tiny trickles of blood curled around the limb as I grunted with effort to force myself upward, where I found notches in the rock for my hind legs to grip, at least momentarily. The effort was all for naught, as I soon felt the icy water nipping at my flanks below.
"Moss! " I yelled, only to watch as his short blue tail disappeared from my line of sight. "I cannot swim! Have you a rope!?"
The reply came from near the mouth of the cave, strained and raspy. "A rope? I don't... hold on, I can think of something!"
Curse after curse left my lips as my lower body was engulfed in water, restricting my ability to jump upward once again. I let out a most undignified whimper at the cold sensation, followed shortly by a gasp of horror as my eyes betrayed me and once again looked down to the cold, rising depths. Clumps of Bloodlet were swirling just beneath the surface, their paths wild and unpredictable as each patch was torn apart and scattered haphazardly by the rocky walls and force of the water. Several flecks of the stuff began making its way toward my legs in spiral patterns, and I made one last attempt to kick off the slope below and force myself along the slope.
Midway through the half-leap, a twisted, black vine, unlike any plant I had ever seen, snaked its way over the lip of the incline and straight down to my hoof.
"Grab on!"
Without hesitation, I gripped the long, sinewy structure and worked to wrap it around my hoof. With my hind legs planted firmly into the ground below the water, I began to walk and pull myself upward as quickly as I could, muscles screaming with effort as I fought to escape the cave. The light of my horn flickered softly as I found myself reaching the point of magical exhaustion, and the sudden darkness lead to a slip in footing. My chest slammed hard into the slanted rock, knocking the breath from my lungs as I hung helplessly against the wall, with water fast approaching. Without the ability to breathe, the scramble back to my hooves was difficult, and in the end, far too slow. There was nothing to be done but submit as the water crept up around my neck, and finally, over my head.
My eyes slammed shut on instinct as the hated substance washed over my face and mane. I had always despised the water when I was but a colt, to the point that taking a bath had become a several-hour adventure for my parents. Swimming pools were out of the question, and lakes or oceans? I would have sooner lopped off my mane and gone bald. Unfortunately, in that moment, I had no choice. A total loss of control overwhelmed me, and I did the only thing I could think of- I opened my eyes once again, only to find myself moving upward, carried forth by the pressure of the rushing tide. The vine around my hoof was nowhere to be seen as I was pushed up and out toward the mouth of the cave, only to be flung like a filly's doll out into the grass, twisting and sputtering along with a torrent of water.
I careened end over end several times, rolling and dirtying my fur even more as I eventually slammed into a large spruce tree, the harsh bark digging into my back. Several hacking coughs forced their way up my throat as I spit water, unable to feel anything but panic as the adrenaline began to ebb. With but one glance upward, the high came right back, and I was on my hooves in seconds.
Moss stood a good twenty feet from me, a hoof tucked under himself as he stared up at the massive beast towering over him. A mismatched creature, one which I had only seen in books, stood menacingly over my companion as it slowly stepped its lion's paws through the water still gushing from the cave entrance. Ragged, discolored fur of short tan and wiry black covered its entire body, the basic structure split between that of a disproportionately large goat's rear and lion's front. The lion head pulled back its lips, snarling at Moss and showing two rows of teeth as the goat head atop its back bleated in what sounded almost like fear. A huge, leonine paw pulled back, ready to swat at Moss while the beast's tail, in the form of a massive serpent, flickered its forked tongue and turned to face me.
"...looks just like you, don't he?"
The chimera swung his paw with an angered roar in response to the taunt, barely missing Moss as the padded limb slammed into the dirt while the tiny pony rolled out of its path. Moss took off at a full sprint through the treeline as I drew my rapier and began to back away, only for the snake head to bare its long, cutlass-like fangs and hiss. The lion and goat did not give chase, and instead, turned to stare at me.
"...oh no. Oh, auntie, please no..." I muttered while walking backwards, taking care to avoid the tree that I had slammed into. I kept my sword-leg aloft, the blade leveled at one of the creature's faces as I realized in horror that the limb was covered in blood. The lion wrinkled its nose and narrowed its eyes, while its giant, catlike lips curved into a wicked smile.
"I'm not going to die like this!" I turned and began to flee, my ears flattened as the lion roared and the sound of heavy limbs thundering forth filled my ears. At a complete loss, I hurled my rapier over my shoulder, praying that the slender blade would embed itself in one of the beast's eyes, or jugular, before breaking into a full sprint through the grass. The motion was met with a scream, and for a moment, I thought I'd actually accomplished something, and turned to look. What I saw instead was the lion's mane caught fire, and the chimera reared upon its hind legs, thrashing wildly.
"One more, asshole!" Moss ran up alongside me and reached a hoof into his shredded cloak, withdrawing one of the flasks he'd packed. A bright orange, fizzing liquid bubbled within for the brief moment I was able to see the container before the pony sent it hurling through the air with an overhand pitch. Another direct hit to the lion's face caused all three heads to cry out at once, singing embers clinging to its masses of fur as Moss put his hoof upon my shoulder once again and spoke in a panicked tone.
"That'll stall it, but we gotta move! "
"You needn't tell me twice!" We took off in tandem through the trees, bobbing and weaving under branches as our opponent continued to roar and knock over trees with its thrashing.
"Hey, you alright? You're bleedin' a ton!"
"I will survive, provided we both do! Focus upon running!" Angry footfalls soon began to upset the otherwise peaceful forest scene, sending a myriad of birds to scatter from their shelter amongst the trees as the chimera sprinted after us through the snow. Moss and I turned to follow the curve on the hill before us, hoping to lose sight of the beast as it crested the mound, where it stopped to survey the area below it while looking in three different directions. No such luck was to be had as the goat spotted Moss' deep green fur against the featureless snow and let out a ringing bleat, drawing the attention of the lion and snake.
"Shit! Moss, how fast are you at full tilt?"
"I can lose him if I gotta, but what about you?"
"I... I have an idea. An idiotic, dangerous idea, but one that might save both of our lives! Give me your cloak. Don't protest!"
To his credit, Moss shed the garment and handed it over without hesitation, running a hoof through his messy mane as he cast a quick glance back at the furious chimera perched high above us before returning his eyes to mine. The beast was beginning to slink down the hill, slow and catlike in its motions as we hatched a suicidal plan.
"Now, you run for the barrier. Cross it, and guards will come to investigate the breach... I only hope that they're fast enough."
"And what about you? You're not actually gonna try to take that thing on, are you, doughboy? Hell, I was surprised you stood up to those conspirators, let alone some legendary hellbeast! What's gotten into you!?"
"I said I had a plan! We have no time to argue, now run along!" I thrust my hoof angrily toward the direction of the barrier, heart pounding as the lion's head, now only a running pounce away, began to bear down on us.
"Ffffffffffffff... fine , but if you get your dumb ass killed... well, it's been fun. See you, Blue." Completely without warning, the stallion leaned forward and wrapped a hoof around the back of my head, snaking his limb through my sopping mane as he pulled my lips directly into his. Too shocked to protest, or really, respond in any way, I simply froze, connected by the mouth to another stallion, who was clearly enjoying the sudden intrusion of my personal space. He broke the kiss after but a few seconds and smirked along with a mocking salute before he took off at full tilt, whistling loudly to draw the giant cat's attention. I stood rooted to the spot like an idiot, watching Moss go. What the hell was he thinking...?
What was I thinking may have been the better question, as the chimera, thoroughly unimpressed with Moss' attempt at distraction, once again turned to me . Without a second thought, I ran in the opposite direction, back toward the cave entrance as I lit my horn to drop a large evergreen between myself and the giant monstrosity. The chimera gave chase, and simply leaped over the fallen tree limb as though it was nothing. It was at that moment that I began to realize that I was likely going to die, and ran through my mind all of my regrets, all of my mistakes, as my legs ran through the new-fallen snow.
So many ponies I'd been nasty to... and deservedly so, but still. I was so hated, so loathed by even family. Were any going to miss me, as I was torn apart and scattered across the snow? Perhaps Moss, if that kiss was anything to go by, but what did the opinion of a beggar count for? Where was the love I deserved from Cadance? Would Shining Armor grieve at all? Would Moss put two and two together and warn him? So many questions, as my mind raced, before I saw my rapier embedded in the snow, not far ahead. I let out a ragged gasp and barreled forward, charging with my horn lowered as I headed straight for the blade. I had only one chance, and so I reached into the cloak tucked against my chest and withdrew a vial.
The stolen patch of Bloodlet moss, along with a bit of cave water, swirled inside the protective glass as I hastily uncapped the tube and inverted it. The deadly agent spilled out onto the cloak, its juices and poison seeping all throughout the fibers and clinging to the fabric due to the sheer cold of the winter's air. I reached the rapier mere seconds later and thrust out my left hoof to grip the guard, using the right to rub the cloth all along the length of the blade, thoroughly coating it with poison. As I stood upon my hind legs, taking a battle stance and holding the rapier outward, the chimera caught up and pounced, both claws aimed for me and its dripping mouth agape. I raised my blade at a high angle, tracing the point toward its throat, and hoping against hope that the moss was as effective as it appeared to be.
The lion's throat met my blade as the entire creature fell down atop me, its claws digging into my shoulders and leaving large gashes and tracts of blood. The rapier pierced into the cat's tender flesh, driving straight up into its throat as I struggled to hold the blade straight through my pain, hissing his with effort as I began to drive it downward, toward the belly of the beast. The rugged flesh and fur resisted at first, and the lion roared with breath that smelled like a decaying carcass directly into my face as I continued to push as hard as I could. After but a few seconds, the moss began to work its magic, and the process became less forcing the slender, flexible blade through the chimera's chest and more... unzipping .
Flesh was easily rent asunder as the blade slipped on through to the beast's bones, cracking and splintering the structures with ease as a trail of gore and organs spilled forth, pouring down onto my face and chest. Hot, steaming blood splashed all throughout my mane while the rapier snapped in half, the upper part of the blade embedded deep within the chimera's lungs as I pushed upward, desperately digging the shattered blade further downward. The hilt and uneven point continued to trail to the goat's abdomen, disemboweling the chimera as the furious roars became cries of pain, mixed with the sound of gargling blood. The goat was the first to die, its head slumping over uselessly as the snake-tail spasmed and twitched. The lion was the last to fall, its giant, expressionless face landing without life across my sword-leg, forcing me to release the rapier.
The heavy body of the beast rested, bleeding freely, atop my own. The great, crushing pressure made it difficult to breathe, as did the tainted blood coating my face and muzzle. I was barely conscious as I felt a hoof grasping one of my own, and looked up to see only a swirl of green and blue, pulling desperately to get me out from under the cadaver. I weakly scooted backward, doing my best to help Moss with freeing me from the sticky, stinking confines of the beast's rent chest cavity. With our efforts combined, I finally slipped out from beneath the body and lay gasping for breath in the snow.
"D-did you... cross the barrier..."
"Yeah. They should be coming any minute now, I hope. The fuck did you do..?"
"I don't know... what I had to..."
I tried to catch my breath, to little success, as I stared at the lion's glassy, lifeless eyes. The beast looked as though it had died in sheer agony, and after what I had witnessed, I wasn't surprised. No creature should suffer a fate so cruel, and I quite honestly found the sight disturbing.
"I did what I had to..."
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"You're shivering, babe."
"At this point, you're lucky I'm not shitting ."
Moss and I sat for several minutes in silence prior to the brief exchange, though I was glad for the nebulous interruption to the quietude. The gravity of the situation had begun to eat at me in a way that I had never thought possible. The chimera, though a monster, had been my first kill outside of routine trophy hunting, where the targets were corralled and stood no chance. I felt proud, riddled with adrenaline, and... honestly, a little sick. Gore was nothing that one such as I couldn't handle, but this went beyond gore. This was desecration, and a clear warning that this Bloodlet nonsense was nothing to be trifled with, and something nopony deserved. Well, almost nopony.
Silence once again overtook us as Moss moved closer to me and wrapped his hoof around my shoulder. I tried to recoil as I watched his fetlock dip into the rapidly freezing blood that clung to my fur as though it was painted on, but he merely tightened his grip and shook his head. I spent a lot of time looking into his glassy blue eyes as the wind played with his mane, making the erratic strands dance about and hang rigidly about his features as the sweat made his hair slowly begin to freeze over. It wasn't quite concern that he showed... but something a bit foreign. Or I was just terrible at reading ponies. That, however, was unlikely.
"Just breathe, man. You'll get over it. You're either crazier than me, or you've got a bit of a hero hidden inside. Either way, it's disgusting, and kinda hot. You never did answer my question."
I merely sighed, watching as the mushroom-shaped cloud of icy breath left my mouth and trailed up into the wintery air. "Which question of the several I've ignored?"
That raspy chuckle was something I began to look forward to, in part due to how devious it sounded. It was almost as though Moss was constantly scheming something... a trait that I was unafraid to admit that we shared.
"Y'know, why you tried to stop those two fuckers in the cave. You had no idea what they were capable of. They could've been alicorns, for all you knew."
"Don't be stupid," I replied. "Only three exist, and even that is pushing it." I reached a hoof up to smooth my mane, finding the mess snow-covered and hard. It would take much, much more than a simple bath to rectify the situation that was my hair...
"Point stands. Why?" Moss dropped his hoof into the powder below and swirled it around a little, his gaze upon the treeline instead of me. If he wanted to know so badly, could the cretin not even afford me the courtesy of eye contact? And ponies called me rude.
Regardless, I stopped to mull it over, turning over my own reasoning in my mind. Then again... could it really be called reasoning? It was more instinct than anything. A natural urge, and one difficult to fight. I saw, I processed, and I did. The nature of all creatures was much the same, was it not? I closed my eyes, shivering slightly as the immediate answer came to me. The instinctual answer, the answer that made sense. It wasn't enough. I wouldn't settle for instinct, for common thought, and for letting my natural urges control me. I was above nature itself... I just hadn't thought my logic through, at the time.
"It's simple, really." I paused for effect, or to continue inventing my answer. Which is was realty didn't matter. "They were a threat to the crown. The crown signs my checks, and I'm an extension of them. I do, in fact, have a job to do, unlike some ponies looking to freeload and skate through life." The added sneer only earned me a rolling of Moss' eyes, and so I continued. "I may lie, cheat, and steal... but I also work. I'm not afraid to get my hooves dirty. It was in the interest of money, and nothing else."
"What about Shining?" he asked, lifting a hoof and bending it slightly along with his inquiry. "Pretty clear he's in danger."
"That he is. Leave that to me. As soon as we get back, I c-"
"Halt!" came a cry from the treeline to my right. The feminine call was not lacking in authority, and carried the controlled cadence of a trained guard. The voice to follow was anything but.
"Why the hell are you two out here!? You know this is restricted ground, Blueblood!"
A pair of mares, one in the air, came toward us a a good clip. The white pegasus was clad in light chain mail overlaid with leather sections, her steel helmet just barely failing to cover pink-tipped hair that hung down into her face. Slung across her back was a longbow, the ends tipped with vicious-looking curved blades. Her flank was adorned with a vial of poison, and the peculiar picture was temporarily obscured as she touched down, kicking up snow around herself as her companion ran to catch up.
"Lieutenant Aurora Cradle, of Shining Armor's Day Guard! State your business!"
I curled my lip into a sneer and spit into the snow before her hooves, earning a look of sheer malice for my efforts. "I needn't justify myself to you. I outrank you as a prince ."
Aurora narrowed her sapphire eyes as a deep red unicorn with a chocolate colored mane, clad in full golden plate mail and lacking a helmet joined her side, a furious look upon her face.
"Fuck your credentials. Why are you out here, who's this, and who killed the chimera without inviting me? Jerk."
"Ladies, laaaaaaaaaaadies ," Moss cooed as he approached the pair, smoothing his frozen mane as best he could with a sly smile. "No need to get angry. We're all on the same side, so let's talk this one out. Name's Creeping Moss."
"I bet it is," the unicorn mumbled, looking unimpressed in her bout of anger.
"I get that a lot. Anyhow, we were out here on official business. Little Boy Blue here hired me to help map out the nearby cave, completely legit, on Celestia's orders, and we ran into the chimera. We crossed back over to call for help, but your prince took it down without you guys. Impressive, no?" He finished his tale with tilt of the head, and I accompanied it by knocking my hoof into my forehead. Now he'd done it.
"Orders from our Princess herself? I will be verifying this immediately upon our return," the pegasus huffed as she turned away, adjusting the bow slung around her back. "The only reason you are not under arrest is due to your bloodline. Your companion comes with me."
"If I time it right, I will."
The unicorn, Willow Wisp, chuckled a bit, her anger seeming to fade. "I like this one. Can we keep him?"
I merely rolled my eyes, ignoring Willow as Moss tried to strike up a conversation with Willow as he was being shackled. Willow and I had never gotten along, mostly due to her crude nature. I could be crude, but she was downright... tasteless, bossy, and acted as though the rules didn't apply to her. How anypony could put up with a unicorn like that was beyond me.
"Kinky. Can we do this again later, maybe with a bed involved?"
"If you give me a reason," the plate-covered mare replied as she watched Aurora silently take my companion into custody. How I put up with those around me on a daily basis was clearly a mystery for the ages.
"I will take the earth pony in for questioning," Aurora stated matter-of-factly as she wrapped a tight hoof around one of Moss' cuffed forelimbs. She turned and began to walk back toward the castle without another word, unaware that the little scamp's eyes were on her flank the entire time. Some things never changed.
"Oi."
I looked down at the slightly shorter unicorn before me, who was blowing a strand of mane out of her face. "Guess that means you and me are together, Blueballs. C'mon, I have a pudding cup with my name on it, and you can't have any. Wasting my damned time with your stupid stories..." She turned and began to trot without another word, and I scooped up what little I had with me before following.
I draped Moss' vest around my shoulders and put what remained of the tattered cloak around it, trying to glean some warmth from the pathetic ensemble. I needed something to keep my mind off the cold, and so I broke one of my personal rules: never start a conversation with Willow.
"I'm telling the truth, you know..."
"Yep. Whatever." She swished her tail to the side a bit, her horn sparking with a few embers as she began to channel a fire spell. "Like you could kill a chimera. You can barely balance on two hooves."
"Look, I know you all think me incapable, but the attitude is getting old."
"So's yours. Stay close to me so you don't freeze into an ass-scicle." Willow squinted in focus as a small coil of flames began to envelop her body at a safe distance, heating the air around herself. I moved just a bit closer to absorb some of the effect, smiling as sensation returned to my hooves.
"Do you at least believe the rest?"
"Don't know, don't care. Shining'll sort it out, or not. I doubt he cares, either. You two are alive, protocol was followed, everything's peachy and such." Willow cast her gaze at me, that typical twinge of annoyance ever-present in her features. "Nopony else was within the barrier, were they?"
"Of course not. Even you should know it's impenetrable to all those but the privileged."
"Or those born with a silver spoon sticking out of their ass. Sweet Celestia, you need a bath. More than usual, I mean," she added as she covered her nose with a hoof.
"I thought you liked the stink of blood, little-miss-badass," I teased.
"Not when it mixes with the stink of you," she fired back, adjusting the strap of the sheathed claymore upon her back. How she carried that thing along with heavy plate was something I hadn't quite figured out, but it told obviously enough of her strength. It was at least somewhere near mine, if not only a little weaker. Then again, I'd never actually seen her fight, for all of her big talk. Perhaps she carried it for show.
"Castle's comin' up. You go straight to Shiny and report in, yeah?"
"I was planning on it. I'm not an idiot."
"Just an ass."
Willow gave a mocking salute as we passed through the gates only minutes later, before strolling off to likely not do her job. Typical peasant fare, residing where they shouldn't. That mare was a prime example why only those of privileged blood would be admitted to work in the castle under my rule... and maybe Moss. He was proving more and more useful, after all. Had he not lied about having Celestia's permission, I wouldn't have even had a reason to be angry with him as I climbed up the carpeted steps toward Shining Armor's office. Of course, the universe just constantly had to find a way to irritate me, and that was a fact that I'd accepted long ago.
Three knocks rang out in the otherwise silent hall as I pounded upon the oaken door and stood back to wait. A light blue glow surrounded the knob before the portal swung open to reveal quite literally the last thing I wanted to see at that moment. There, behind his work desk, stood Shining Armor, his hoof upon Cadance's stomach as she looked adoringly into his eyes. Shining didn't even bother looking toward the door as I stomped my way inside, instead returning her gaze with such a saccharine effort that I nearly began to feel sick. I cleared my thought twice, only to watch the two nuzzle affectionately in response.
"Excuse me!" I practically yelled, getting impatient. "I came to report in on the security breach in the woods, if you would like to do your job, now!"
"Hey, whoa, chill out, Vlad. We were just having a little moment..."
"Have your moments off the clock, you..." and my tirade halted instantly as I saw Cadance's hurt expression. The fact that she said nothing stung more than anything else, and I immediately shut my mouth for her benefit. Shining didn't capitalize on the opportunity, and instead continued speaking in his usual calm, infuriating tone.
"Thanks for coming by, but... yeah. I'd like some time with my wife, unless something that really needs my attention happened. Can you just file the standard report tomorrow, or did something big go down that can't wait?"
I looked Shining in the eye, a mixture of thoughts and feelings swirling within my mind as he waited for my answer. My mind was a complete blank, seeming to shut down as I briefly looked over to Cadance. She gave me a small smile, and for the briefest moment... she almost looked proud .
"...nothing, Captain. Not a thing."
Without a second thought, I turned and left the office, a dark smirk on my lips as I closed the door behind me with a quick burst of magic.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Two Royal Guards Found Dead After Cave System Floods
The bodies of two guard ponies, identified as Silver Shield, M, Unicorn, 23, and Sundance, M, pegasus, 26, were found in nearly unrecognizable condition yesterday evening by a unit of the Day Guard sent to investigate a mysterious chimera attack. The attack took place in a forbidden section of the woods just outside Canterlot, and it is not known at this time who entered the zone or how. Upon arriving at the scene, Aurora Cradle and Willow Wisp of Captain Shining Armor's unit found the corpse of the beast a short distance from the cave, and a torrent of water spilling from the entrance at high velocity. No explanation has been given for the death of the ferocious monster, nor is there any evidence as to what caused the flood, or how the events might be related.
Silver was found first, completely bereft of his guard armor, while the elder pony was equally unclothed. Both bodies were floating freely in the...
My eyes flitted back to the previous paragraph as I shook out the newspaper in disbelief. No explanation has been given for the death of the ferocious monster. No explanation had been given!? There were three witnesses who saw the results of my heroism!
With an angry snarl, I slammed the paper down upon the end table sitting beside the plush chair that had become my perch for the past half hour. A loud, echoing bang rang out as my hoof hit the dark, polished wood, and the other ponies mingling about the lobby jumped, while one of the mares gasped incredulously at my outburst. She could go fuck herself, for all I cared. I was being denied my glory, the one time I had actually fought and invested sweat and blood into it! Was there no justice in this world!?
I rose from the chintz cushion beneath my flank, hooves leaving wide indents in the maroon fabric of the hoofrests as a result of pushing hard enough to make the entire recliner rock. Ponies cleared out of the way as I began to pace throughout the wide staging area, my mind racing and blood boiling as I checked off the possibilities in my mind. It had to have been Auntie's fault, somehow! Yet another thing to discuss with her if I ever managed to gain an audience after the ungodly waiting period.
Thoughts raced through mind in rhythm with the clack of my unshorn hooves on the checkerboard tile. I paid no mind as to anything around me while I reflected on the events of the previous day, and what little I knew. The betrayers were dead, that much was a small upside... and would save me from retaliation if Shining Armor was indeed in danger, if I discounted the idea that there were any more conspirators. Unfortunately, one of the two was known to me, and he was one of the last ponies I would have expected to pull such a stunt.
Sundance was one of few ponies I'd have been willing to call an acquaintance . His humor was dry and sarcastic, but he knew well enough to keep his gob shut when such a thing wasn't needed. A tall, handsome pegasus stallion- just shorter than myself, actually- with fur of brilliant red and a light blonde mane to accent it. He had had the kindest eyes when he was alive... and a heart of gold. To imagine that such unspeakable evil lay behind those convincing orbs was a bit of a jolt to my system, and a shrewd reminder that even in the city of white gold, nopony was ever truly safe. Still... despite the error in judgment, I found that I was going to miss seeing him within the halls. Such was a rare sentiment, especially from me... but perhaps being faced with so much death in the past day had done something funny to my mind.
"Princess Celestia will see you now."
The simple sentence caused my ears to perk up, and I turned to face the burly earth pony guard, his steely brown eyes glaring down at me. Despite being a few inches shorter, and the fact that he was carrying a spear, no fear stilled my heart as I walked past, letting my broad shoulder push into his own.
"Good. It's about time, after such a dreadful wait. You lot didn't even have refreshments out here! If you were to ask me, I would say you should all be fired and replaced!"
The glint of a spear being shifted caught my eye, barely visible within my peripheral vision as I continued to trot. It was quite clear that the burly pony wanted to use it, and yet he could not, because of the pathetic little laws binding him to protect me. Such power. Such control . The thought brought a small smile to my lips as my horn began to glow, forcing open the giant, varnished doors that lead to the sealed royal wing.
Beyond the doors was the cavernous entrance to the halls in which Auntie Celestia and Auntie Luna resided. The doors themselves were under heavy guard at all hours of the day and night, as was the spacious balcony at the opposite end of the hall, which stood behind a giant, stained glass window depicting a half-sun and half-moon mashed together. The high ceilings and rafters played host to several hanging tapestries, styled in the colors of daylight and darkness in equal measure. If one were to see that section of the castle before any other, it would be understandable to mistake it for a grand hall, rather than a hub to a living space.
I chuckled a bit as my hooves contacted the raised, royal purple carpet, sinking just a bit as I began to pad across the surface and toward the lone figure at the opposite end of the room. "Auntie Celestia! I cried as I began to pick up the pace, only to have the distanced alicorn bring her gaze upward from something upon the floor with a smile. She merely nodded as she waited for me to cross the vast expanse of the wide hallway, a feat that took what seemed like several minutes.
"Auntie!" I panted a bit, working to catch my breath as the pampered pony before me simply crossed her hooves, still perched atop a very large, very expensive looking plushy pillow of red velvet with a golden trim and tassels. "Auntie, did you see the newspaper this morning!? I'm being robbed of all credit due to me!"
Celestia merely smiled and pushed her ever-flowing mane back and out of her eyes with a hoof, her usual regalia suspiciously absent. Such a sight was something I had only seen a few times, and when I had, it was generally not a good sign.
"Vladimir... what troubles you so? What part did you truly play in yesterday's events?"
"Like you don't know! Do not play games with me, you... you..."
"What am I, dear?"
Celestia simply held my gaze, her giant, innocent eyes staring straight through mine without a single hint of anger or annoyance. My entire argument seemed to deflate, as it always did in the presence of the doe-like creature before me. It was only a matter of time before I devolved into outright whining .
"Auntiiiiiiiiiiie! I was the one who slayed the wretched beast! I protected Creeping Moss from being killed down in that cave, and I brought glory to your name!"
"And if that is true..." Celestia began, idly looking over one of her naked hooves, "then why, pray tell, were you in that cave to begin with?" She looked up at me to punctuate the question, and I immediately froze up. I had fallen for her little game hook, line, and sinker.
"I... I didn't..."
"But you did. When Willow Wisp gave me report, I couldn't help but wonder what you were doing there, especially with a 'commoner'." Celestia put a distinct emphasis upon the word, as though she was mocking my style of speech. "That seems quite unlike you, Prince Blueblood. Would you mind telling me what's going on?"
To answer honestly would have gotten me shut down. I could attempt a lie, but trying to lie to Celestia was about as safe of an idea as flying a zeppelin through a lightning storm. Perhaps your vessel wouldn't be struck immediately, but in time... bad things were bound to happen. Then again, what choice did I have?
"...I wanted to prove myself."
"To prove yourself."
"Yes," I started out, pausing to take a deep breath while I struggled to weave an intricate lie. "Moss accused me of being a ponce and a layabout..."
"Imagine that," Celestia replied with a tiny smile, before going back to inspecting her hoof. I glared daggers in response, but she skillfully avoided my gaze as I worked up the will to continue.
"Anyway, he was running his mouth off, and dared me to prove my worth as a prince. He challenged me to fulfill the tradition of the Royal Hunt, and 'bag something spectacular', as he put it. Initially, I refused, but I came upon word of the chimera, and got to thinking... princes did have to undergo a hunt of grand importance before earning the title of 'stallion' in times past, did they not? Why should I be any different? With that thought, I took the little bastard and went down into the cave to hunt the beast. It chased us outside, and I managed to end its life." I finished with an uncertain smile and a wandering hoof rising up to brush a lock of brilliant flaxen hair from my vision.
"A fair point... if a ludicrous one. You could've been killed." Celestia finally looked back up at me, and within a second, I knew that she had seen right through me. "While I do not doubt that there is some truth to the matter, and that the kill was, in fact, yours, this does not explain why you were in the cave itself, as you just admitted. Chimeras are not cave-dwelling creatures, dear. Care to try again?"
My ears flattened as a tiny blush of embarrassment painted my cheeks. How could I have been so stupid? "N-no, I... I don't. Auntie, we did go out in search of the chimera, but... we saw those two ponies enter the cave, and decided to offer them assistance! They didn't make it out, obviously," I breathed a sigh, confident in the new lie for all of another second before it unraveled.
"Fascinating. Then why were their corpses already in an advanced state of decay, with ropes around their necks?"
My heart froze as I processed the words, and it was immediately clear that something didn't add up. Moss and I had seen them mere minutes before the cave flooded, and even if they had hung themselves... perhaps the water accelerated the process of rotting? Would that even have worked?
"I... I-I..."
"Listen, Vladimir," Celestia sang, "it is clear that you will not give me the truth... but the threat, for now, seems to be neutralized, and I believe you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Consider this your one and only warning. If something is going on, I expect you to report it. After all, you are not only a prince, but family. Certainly, that must count for something, hm?"
There it was, the beginnings of a favor being asked, or worse, a demand being made. I wracked my brain to come up with some way to salvage the debacle, and the original reason for my visit immediately sprang to mind. Putting on the most indignant tone I could muster, I let out a huff and began my counterattack against the mare.
"Family!? You're one to speak of family obligations, Auntie! What is this I hear about me having 'no real power'!? Explain that!"
"Such words have never left my lips, child." Celestia blinked, genuinely surprised by the statement. "You may not have military power, but you have plenty of influence within the castle. Most times, you simply choose not to use it."
"Choose not to... what do you mean!? I exercise my rights above those beneath me when it is necessary!"
"All the time, you mean?" Celestia rose and stretched her gigantic wings, blocking my view of most of the window behind herself. "Vladimir, you have power. Influence. Your word carries weight, whether you know it or not, and that is part of why I am going to set this task upon you now."
And so, my spirits did come crashing down. I was to be punished, as usual.
"Do not think of this as a punishment, but a learning experience." Such words were never a good sign, and I physically cringed in reaction. "Don't give me that look. This will be good for you." Even worse.
"Auntie, just tell me what I am to do. It's clear that I have no choice in the matter," I balked and adjusted my bow tie with an annoyed huff.
"No, you do not. You are to arrange a party to celebrate the opening of Shining Armor's homeless shelter, to take place in one week's time."
One week? That left me no time at all, and such a process would have taken ages! "Auntie, no! That isn't fair!"
"Were you not listening?" she inquired as she bowed her long neck down to me. "You have connections, and more pull than you realize. You can very easily get this done, if you play your cards right. I have faith in your abilities."
So, she had faith in my abilities? I couldn't deny that the statement caused a small fluttering sensation within my breast, and worked to assuage my anger just a bit. Still, the point stood- such a request was asinine, especially considering the fact that I had not the remotest interest in accomplishing the task.
"Isn't there anything else I can do to please you, and earn back your favor?"
Celestia paused as if considering, before giving a quick answer. "Yes. In addition, you can advertise the event, and find a guest of honor to represent the homeless at the banquet. Have fun, dear." With that, she turned and began trotting toward her bedroom, leaving my sitting there with my mouth agape.
"Auntie! Just... I can't... but... wait! "
The alicorn paused just before her door before offering a tired sigh. "What is it? I am really quite tired, so please make it quick, if at all possible."
With the knowledge that my time with my auntie had run out, I blurted the first question that came to mind.
"Who was responsible for giving information to the papers, and leaving me out of the entire scenario?"
Celestia smiled just a bit as she turned the doorknob with a brief burst of magic. "That would be none other than Willow Wisp."
That bitch was going to pay.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Setting it Up, Breaking it Down
The water moved effortlessly in rippling waves, pushed aside by my powerful forelegs as I brought the irksome liquid beneath my supreme command. This act was my directive, and the water would obey. No longer would it be my master, and no longer would I be at its merciless whim, should I have found myself in another situation like what occurred down in that flooded deathtrap, nearly a week ago. Learning to swim had barely been a challenge at all, once I'd put my mind to it. I was as natural and graceful within the guarded pool as a butterfly on a light spring wind, purposeful as a shark chasing down its prey whilst weaving between reefs, majestic on a level that would make the most skilled fishes swoon in jea-
"...floaties? Really, dude? Ain't you a little old for that shit?"
I shot the most acidic glare I could muster up at the familiar and ever so bothersome stallion standing at the edge of the Royal Pool. The dark-green devil wore his usual shit-eating grin as he watched me tread water with the help of my royal floatation aids .
"They are not floaties , you uncultured rube!"
"Whatever they are, they're floral patterned, and they look absolutely hilarious." Moss snickered as he began to canter along the tiled edge of the artificial body of water, moving ever closer to where I floated within. "You rang, boss? After not hearing from you for so long, I figured we were done. Wouldn't be the first time someone promised something big, only to pull it out from under me."
"Oh, I'll pull it out from under you, alright," I replied, my glare still fixed upon the stallion standing above me as he moved just beside the diving board, mere feet away.
"I'm sure you'd love to," he shot back while flicking a hoof through his mane.
"Enough of this. Onward to business," I commanded with a splash of my hoof. "I need your services."
"Twenty bits an hour, thirty if you want me t-"
Moss never got to finish his sentence as I was overcome by a spark of rage, the emotion driving me to light my horn with a flowing blue flame. A riptide of magical energy manifested just behind his legs and shot forward toward me, pulling the small stallion off his hooves and forward into the water with a mighty splash. Water flew far and wide as the two guards stationed at the door chuckled with amusement at his misfortune rather than mine, and just a bit of pride swelled up within my chest. I had surely shown him his place, and done it with style.
However, all victories were indeed transient, a principle well proven as a tangled mop of vibrant blue crested the water's surface, whipping backward and sending droplets of the stuff flying this way and that. A splash of purified water flew into my face, and I quickly worked to wipe it clean as Moss slicked back his own tangled mop, looking almost like a mare after his thorough dousing.
"Good call. It is more fun if I'm wet, first."
My eyes rolled, the motion almost dizzying despite the familiarity of it when he was around. "Must you have something to say about everything ? If life for you simply sex, stealing, and sarcasm?"
"Pretty much, yeah," Moss deadpanned, floating effortlessly as he moved his hooves throughout the water. I watched momentarily, my expression blank as he tread water with ease, as though it was second nature to him.
"I hate you. I hate you like cats hate mice, like billboards hate push pins, like Nightmare Moon once hated Celestia."
"Like you hate deodorant, apparently."
I reached a hoof out and gripped his forelock before pulling the stallion underwater and shoving him downward beneath the surface. Without a second thought, I began swimming for the edge of the pool, and upon reaching it, pulled myself up and over the curved lip to stand upon the checkerboard tile, dripping.
"Towel," I demanded. One of the two guards took his sweet time walking over to my held out hoof before depositing a fluffy swath of cloth upon the limb. "Robe," I added, whilst whipping my head to the side to cast the drenched, sunshine-golden locks of sopping hair from my face. The other guard brought over my bathrobe, sneering as he draped it over my shoulders. "Dismissed."
The seemingly identical twin guards retreated in tandem, hoisting their spears over their shoulders as they muttered something against my family name under their breaths. I honestly couldn't have cared less. I was surrounded in warm fabric, while they were stuck in freezing metal, during the coldest month of the year. All was as it should have been. Well, almost all.
"So, you needed me?" Moss hopped up onto the tile to join my side before spitting upon the ground in a grotesque and ghoulish display, typical of a peasant.
"I do. All week long, I've been arranging a masquerade ball and overall celebration on account of Shining Dipshit's Charity Home for Wastes of Time Like You."
"Aw, I didn't know you cared." Moss moved in and nuzzled my neck, which earned him a harsh slap across the face.
"Silence. I've been requested to find a guest of honor to represent the homeless, and I can't think of anypony who better represents the filth and scum of society than you . Congratulations, you have the position, and this is not optional. Don't mess this up for me."
Moss rubbed his nose, following along as I began to trot toward a nearby bench, upon which rested my signature bow tie and a deep blue brush.
"Why the hell do you care if I 'mess it up for you?' It's pretty clear you don't care at all."
"Because, " I began while looping the tie around my neck, "Auntie is doing me a favor with this idiotic task. Should it go smoothly, my reputation and influence will increase, and the idiotic public," I stopped my frantic brushing to point the vibrant tool at his face, "that would be the likes of you, will view me in a different light, and get off my flank."
"Or you could, you know, just not be a jackass. More realistically, you could not be a jackass in public. Would save you a lot of trouble." Moss snatched the towel form my hoof and immediately began drying himself, rubbing the material all about his body before I had a chance to take it back. If nothing else could be said for him, he was, at the very least, without fear.
"That's none of your business."
"Isn't it? Don't you realize you keep coming back to me? I'm probably the pony you've spoken to most in the past month, simply out of repeated convenience. I doubt you've got any friends, other than," he dropped his voice to mimic mine, "your precious Cadenza ".
"If you do not cease and desist, I will ram this brush down your throat," I threatened.
Moss tossed the towel directly into my face, letting the material drape from my horn before I tore it down with a snarl. "No, I won't cease. You've got problems, man, and it's a shame. I've seen your good side, but all you want to show is your ass. It's getting you into more trouble than you realize." The small stallion hopped up onto the bench and walked forward, putting his face at my eye level as I stood, fuming. "You could learn from me. You might have money, but I've got it figured out. You need to learn when to be an ass, and when to play the game."
"There is no game to be played! Stop spouting nonsense, fulfill your role, and kindly get out of my life!" I began to trot, only to be stopped almost immediately by the grip of his disproportionately powerful hoof upon my lower jaw. I struggled to break free, only to feel a crushing pressure as he nearly snapped the bone, using my efforts against me as he glared directly into my eyes, his tone deadly serious.
"Everything is a game. The politics in this castle, your position as a prince, you and me... it's all just a game." He squeezed harder, causing a biting pain to rush through my entire mouth as I lifted a hoof, trying desperately to shake his grip. Moss didn't respond or even blink, though I could have sworn his eyes flashed quite literally for the briefest moment as his sneer turned into something more sinister. "And if you don't shape up and start playing your cards right, you're going to lose more than you could ever imagine."
He pushed my face to the side while releasing his grip, and as it always was when he showed me this strange, angry side to himself... I had no idea how to respond. A mixture of indignation, surprise, and interestingly enough, guilt washed over me as he landed back upon the tile with a soft set of clacks before beginning to trot for the door.
"Moss..."
"When do I need to be ready by? I'm guessing you want a speech?"
"Sunday..." I said, my ears a bit drooped. I couldn't tell if he was genuinely angry, or simply done dealing with me. It was a conflict that I was all too used to experiencing, but never before from him. So quickly had I gained a rival, and perhaps, though I loathed to admit it, and with heavy stipulations, a friend... and so quickly was I losing him.
"Fine. I'll be there. Just leave me the hell alone until then. I'll show up when I want to."
"Moss, wait . That is an order! "
"I don't take orders, especially from assholes like you!" Moss picked up his pace, disappearing through the doorway. I worked my way up into a gallop, letting my very expensive robe fall from its loose hold around me as I followed him out and into the hallway.
"Then it is a plea!" I yelled, my eyes upon his form, which had already reached the opposite end of the hall. Moss slowed to a stop at an intersection in the hallway and turned to face me as I managed to catch up to him, slightly winded. "And I don't plead..."
"That's the only reason I stopped. What's your angle?" He cast a quizzical look up at me before narrowing his eyes.
"I don't know. I was never much good at math." I offered him a cheesy smile, doing my best to defuse the situation. It didn't work.
"Cut the shit and talk straight. My patience threshold is high, but you've crossed it. Why the hell should I bother with you anymore? Because you're rich? I know the lot of you are entitled assholes, but I'm sure I could find one less arrogant to mooch off of." He shifted slightly, smoothing out his mane once again with a hoof as the rat's nest once again began to take shape.
"No, because I... I'm..." I stumbled over my words, trying to verbalize my regret. Such a thing was so alien, so against my ideals, that getting two simple words out became a long struggle. Fortunately, it was one that Moss was willing to sit through. "...I'm sorry."
Moss continued to scrutinize me for what seemed like ages, before he gave a curt nod and blew an errant lock out of his eyes. "You are. Apology accepted," he said as he breathed a sigh. "You really should've told me earlier. I would've helped, you know. Not like I've got anything better to do."
"Well... I wouldn't mind if you began helping now. That is, if you're still willing, after... that."
Moss frowned and clapped my shoulder with his hoof, looking steadily less annoyed and more... disappointed?
"Sure. Lead the wall, Butterball."
I simply chuckled and shook my head, happy to have something close to an actual friend as we made for the kitchen.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"And welcome to you, as well. Would you care to make a donation, ma'am? The structure is going to need furnishing once it's completed, and every little bit adds up," I added to my proposition with a false smile. The elderly unicorn mare flashed a somewhat-toothless grin as she adjusted her mask before digging into her coin purse.
"Of course! My, what a strapping young prince you are, dear. It's so nice of you to organize such a magnificent ball!" she cooed whilst handing over the glittering coins. I deposited them in a collection box before nodding and offering yet another saccharine, stinging smile. She returned the gesture, and walked on toward the dance floor. The old bat was right about one thing- the ball was magnificent.
I peered out through the eye holes of my brilliant blue and golden, sequined mask to take in the sheer extravagance of the Grand Hall, all done-up to my exact specifications. Everypony was mingling in costume- the masquerade component being my idea, because I, unlike Shining Armor- had class, and the guests were certainly enjoying themselves. Banners and ribbons, elegant sconces and statues, magical lighting, a full orchestra, headed by some very attractive grey pony with a treble clef upon her flanks, and the finest cuisine that could have been asked for. The splendor and sophistication of the night was absolutely perfect .
With my mind still upon perfection, my eyes gravitated toward the pink alicorn of my dreams, sat solemnly at the head table, next to both of my aunties. Celestia and Cadance were chatting away about something, both giggling like school fillies as Luna watched, seemingly bored. The former pair was done up in full costume, Celestia in a classical bird mask, while Cadance opted for the simpler, more elegant one-eye cover, her hair in magnificent, flowing tresses. Luna wore only a monocle and dress. It was so like her to actively try to take the fun out of everything.
I felt a cold hoof upon my shoulder, and immediately tensed as I expected the worst. What I got instead was worse than the worst.
"Not bad, Blueballs. I don't like this kinda thing, but it's pretty nice. Looks like you finally did something that will impress the idiots that make up society."
Willow Wisp gave my shoulder a series of successively harder claps with her hoof, culminating in one that I was quite sure would leave a welt . I hissed as I forced a smile, still collecting bits from guests who were entering the ball somewhat late. Out of consideration, I grit my teeth and spoke in a whisper as she leaned in.
"I hate you. I truly do, with all of my being."
"Aw, love you too, big guy," she replied with a cheeky grin. I tried to calm myself with several breaths, doing my best to focus on something, anything less obnoxious than Willow. Interestingly enough, my mind landed upon Moss. Any port in a storm, I supposed. Where was he?
"Oh yes. The love is clearly returned. You are just my favorite unicorn, let alone pony." I looked her up and down, finding that she was wearing her usual golden armor... with a helmet. I suppose she at least tried , but this mare had absolutely zero in the way of fashion sense. To think she was somewhat influential within the guard... no wonder the foals still wore only breastplates.
"Aw, you're trying sarcasm. That's cute," she dragged out the last word, making it into almost a little song as she shook the hoof of a stallion in line. "Care to donate? You look important, so don't skimp, or I'll cut you."
"Willow! " I whisper-hissed, quickly jabbing my foreknee into her chest. "This is my job, and you'll drive them away!" I cleared my throat and tried to repair the damage done. "I'm sorry, sir, she completely lacks social skills. And a brain. Please, come right in, but do d-"
The stallion merely huffed and walked past the velvet rope, donating nothing as he continued out onto the dance floor. The stupid bitch had cost us revenue! She had to go. No other option remained, and I refused to let the night get worse. However, fate has a funny way of taking your declarations and spitting upon them before stomping them into the mud, so with a simple catcall, the night did, indeed, get worse.
"Daaaaaaaaaamn you are lookin' fine, my mare," the familiar harbinger of stupidity stated as he walked up, apparently next in line. "Even better than the last time I saw you."
"Hey there. Moss, right?" Willow inquired. Upon receiving a nod, she blew her mane out of her face and shifted a bit while pulling back the rope to allow him entrance. "You're lookin' pretty sharp, too. What are you doing after all of this?"
I rolled my eyes before looking the stallion up and down, only to find that Willow was completely right. There Moss stood, dressed in a full suit, bought with bits that I had so graciously loaned him. He looked quite dapper, and even his mane was combed and his body washed, going by the scent of... my cologne. Equally noticeable was my tie around his neck, and one of my masks upon his face. That was certainly not part of the deal.
"Nopony cares!" I bellowed, immediately working up a rage as I gripped a hoof around the rapier at my side. "I knew I shouldn't have let you stay in my room the last two nights! Thief! "
"That ain't news, cutie. You'll get it back, just let me in, yeah? Chill out, Blue. You're supposed to be likeable. Remember our little chat? " he added with a threatening tone. I would have none of it.
"I do, and you are supposed to be at the head table, as of half an hour ago!" I huffed, thoroughly through with the idea of this whole, idiotic farce already. "Willow, you are hereby demoted to door-bitch. Come on, you wastrel." I gripped Moss by the knee and dragged him toward the dance floor, leaving a whining Willow to bluster and threaten to her heart's content at the entrance gate while I attended to far more important things.
"You did prepare a speech, yes?"
"Well yeah. I keep my word, you know." He pulled up the strap on his long-nosed doctor's mask, his face a bit sweaty underneath. Had I not known him better, I'd have thought he was nervous. "You doin' okay?"
"Of what concern is it to you?" I snorted, picking up the pace as I shoved a twirling couple out of our path while the mare worked into an elegant dip. The pair fell over to a chorus of gasps, and I couldn't help but feel the faintest twinge of pride. They hadn't donated, the cheap bastards.
"I consider you a friend, regardless of what you think of me. One of the few I've got, and might be able to trust," he replied. I merely fell silent, mulling it over within my mind. The more the word 'friend' passed through it, the more... right it seemed. I decided not to fight him, and simply answered the question.
"Thank you, I am quite fine. Come, we need to meet with Twinkling Douchebag and get the speeches underway."
Moss chuckled, but his mirth turned into curiosity in a seamless transition. "Why do ya hate him so much, anyhow? He seems like a nice guy to me."
I looked over to the stallion in question, and he was currently conversing with several guests in a small circle around the head table. He stood in an elegant, mostly metal costume, wearing a bright smile to go with his jester hat and mask. The combination was so fitting- the eternal protector and knight, with a crowning of a complete goofball and approachable pony. He was everything that I was not... and had everything that I did not. I merely sighed, the familiar feelings of jealousy and anger beginning to rise up within me. Moss and I stopped just out of earshot of the captain and his entourage, and I found myself being nuzzled by the smaller stallion, in public, no less. For once... it was somewhat comforting.
"...it's Cadance, isn't it? I'm sorry, man. I know what it's like. Trust me."
Moss said nothing more as he trotted off to his seat at the table, a fact for which I was grateful. I still couldn't comprehend the notion that he cared... but he was a cheat and a swindler, just like me. Perhaps that was why he cared... but I vowed to be careful and cover my flank, just in case. I couldn't let anypony get close, beyond a certain point, and that was the truth for what seemed like decades. Only one alicorn had broken through that barrier... and after our last conversation, that point may as well have been null and void.
"Hey , there he is! The stallion that set this whole shindig in motion! Fillies and gents, this is Prince Blueblood, the unicorn who organized this party for me!" Shining Armor beckoned me over as his little group proceeded to clap and nod. The feeling was somewhat nice, so I offered a small bow and stepped up. My attention remained only upon him, as those around us seemed to blur into the background. Pleasantries could wait. We had a schedule , damn it, and we were sticking to it.
I cleared my throat and inclined my head toward Shining, gaining from him the quirk of a brow. "I think it's about time you made your little speech, followed by Moss, so that this party can officially begin ."
"Oh! Yeah, sure. If you'll all excuse me," he sang, offering the politest smile and small gesture of a hoof to his friends. They all nodded and backed away, none of them the least bit upset... and none of them paying me any attention as they retreated. Typical.
"So... any preference, or things you want me to include in this?" he asked as we both sat down. He cast his eyes about the room as the wait staff began to pour out of the kitchens, lead along by Flare. The ponies carried trays and pitchers, and quickly began laying out spreads all along the head table, along with the many circular tables surrounding the dance floor. Most of the guests got the hint and began to move toward their assigned seats, as two stallions began walking up and down our table, pouring wine into our goblets as they went.
"None. This is my party, but your show. As always ," I said through grit teeth. Shining frowned a bit, his expression and tone humble as he watched one of the staff walk up. The pegasus was tall, and clad in a starched, white jacket, with a white mask covering most of his face, the ensemble completed by a chefs hat. A few pale blonde strands of hair poked out from beneath the cap, and accented his yellow fur quite nicely. I could have sworn he looked familiar, but passed it off as sheer coincidence while he discarded an empty caraffe and began pouring wine into Shining's goblet from a fresh pitcher.
"Vlad... you'll have your glory soon. I'll make it up to you, on my honor." Shining nodded to the familiar looking pony as he finished pouring, and the pegasus retreated behind the table to stand near to Shining as the unicorn tapped his fork upon the goblet to signal the beginning of his speech. The entire room fell silent in an instant, and all eyes were upon Shining.
"Fillies and gentlecolts," he began. "We are gathered here this evening to celebrate the start of something beautiful. The beginning of a movement to provide housing to those in need, and take in more of Canterlot's disadvantaged. With the help of my beautiful wife, Princess Cadance," he shot her an adoring look. I threw up in my mouth a little bit. "I've been able to break new ground, and offer up this opportunity to those in need. That being said... before we go any further, I think we need to recognize a pony who worked his flank off to bring us all here tonight, and put a lot of effort into making this event a successful one. Give it up for the stallion I consider a true noble, a friend, and just maybe, a bit of a brother. Raise your voices for Prince Blueblood!"
I blinked in shock, not having expected to be incorporated or recognized in his little speech. The crowd began to clap and cheer, and they did so for me . It was the greatest ego boost I'd had in a long time, and so I puffed out my chest and basked in pride as I was finally given some credit. Auntie Celestia, Shining Armor, Cadenza, and Moss all joined, as did Luna, albeit reluctantly. As the fanfare died down, Shining nodded and smiled at me, and I returned the gesture while he raised his goblet.
"A toast to the real pony we should honor tonight, alongside this noble cause. Let's all drink to Prince Blueblood!"
The ponies did as he asked, and as he began to bring his goblet toward his lips, I caught sight of something... odd. There, within the wine, was a small, bright red clump of moss, swirling and dancing among the currents of the liquid. Shining brought the edge of the chalice to his lips, and began to drink.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Time seemed to freeze. My heart stopped, and it was as though the entire world had slowed, the hands of the clocks moving at half, quarter speed, and then suddenly, not at all. With the death of movement, my mind began racing, veritable wheels spinning within my brain as the cool, deadly metal chalice rested against Shining Armor's lips. This was it. This was my chance; the defining moment of my life. The time had come, and fate had laid bare its hoof, asking me to think about what sort of stallion I really was. However, for all of the panicked racing that my mind did, for all of the longing in my heart for the beautiful pregnant mare mere feet away, oblivious as to what was to happen to her husband... there was no thought involved.
"No!"
Time once again resumed its march. Celestia jumped in her seat as Shining's eyes widened, the stallion quickly beginning to choke as I leapt sideways, throwing my body into his as hard as I could. I cast my hoof out, hoping, praying to knock away the goblet before any more damage was done, and I let go a breath I hadn't known I was holding as the metal collided with the wooden tabletop, sending the cup spinning as Shining and I hit the floor. We landed hard, I atop him, as he began to scream in an unholy wail, the noise leaving his mouth unlike any I had ever heard before.
Shining Armor clawed at his face, writhing on the ground as his eyes seemed to glaze over, a sickening hiss emanating from his lips and cheek. The white fur on the right side of his jawline began to melt and bubble, ripping small holes through the skin as tiny plumes of smoke snaked upward through the air. His teeth became visible through his flesh as the skin of his cheek began to tear itself apart, and I raised my head upward to the scene at the table, unable to watch any longer without becoming violently ill. My eyes trained upon the pony who had poured Shining's drink, and in an instant, the stallion took off for the door, shoving into Moss and sending the stallion headfirst over the table as he bolted for the exit. The chef's hat slipped from his brow as he began to sprint, revealing a billowing blonde mane, and confirming my suspicions. It was indeed Sundance, seemingly back from the grave.
"Get back here!" I roared, leaping off of my fallen comrade as I gave chase, rapier drawn. I didn't know if Shining was dead or dying, I didn't know what was going on, and I didn't know just how many of the eyes in the room were upon me as I sprinted out into the hall. All I knew was that bastard needed to die- again - and that a large, deep blue blur was running at my side.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Luna bellowed, her diamond glass shoes making an awful, staccato racket against the stone floor as she joined me in my hunt for what I hoped wasn't a killer.
"I'll explain it all in time! He's one of the dead guards that was found the other day, and one of the two I encountered in that cave with the chimera!"
"Dead guards!? Impossible!" Luna's horn began to ripple with shadowed grace, tiny pinpricks of light glowing in the space between her horn and the edges of the aura. The candles in the hall were immediately snuffed out, and my memory jumped back to the night I had been awoken by some strange creature. The exact same thing had happened, and to make matters worse, that cloying stench rose up again, so sweet that it was overwhelming to the senses. The possibilities crashed through my head in a rapid fire, and I shook out my mane in an effort to focus on the current, more pressing situation. Answers as to my personal nightmare could come after this villain was dispatched... or with luck, from his very mouth.
The hall was soon engulfed in total darkness, hampering my ability to navigate in what was surely a brilliant move by my unwanted companion. I lit my horn as an automatic response, the edge of the light revealing a pair of yellow hooves a good distance away, still moving at a good clip. Our target seemed completely unbothered by the sheer darkness, a fact that baffled me and only raised further questions.
"Fly after him! He's getting away!"
"The hallways are too tight for my wingspan! Corral him toward the eastern training room, I'll head him off there!" Without another word, Luna vanished in a black mist, leaving me to chase down the much more fit pegasus, while I was unable to see. It absolutely amazed me that she thought us allies.
As fate would have it, Sundance reached a T-shaped intersection and scurried up against the wall, almost waiting for me. To the left was the training room, and to the right, the castle kitchens. He cast his eyes to the left as I caught up, my blade thrust outward at him while I waited for him to make his move. Sundance stood quite still, trying to catch his breath as he let out a raspy laugh.
"Miss me, Vladdy boy?"
"What is this!? How are you back, and why are you trying to murder Shining Armor!? What happened to you!?" I asked my former... comrade. He wasn't a friend, especially after this.
The rasp turned into a howling laughter as Sundance licked his lips, the look in his eyes deranged.
"Why? You think that's information I'll just give you? You think you have any place in this chain of events? That cup should've been yours. I told 'em you were too much of a risk, after what you did to that chimera. Gotta say, I'm impressed. So is my master... but in a different way."
"Your master?" I asked, advancing as the weapon in my hoof shook a bit due to my exhaustion, though I kept it trained for his throat. He would never be fast enough to move out of the way, not as hard as he was breathing.
"Oh, don't worry. Even if I am to die tonight, you'll meet soon enough. I don't know when... but I can't wait to see the look upon your face when it happens." Sundance wheezed, his condition seeming to deteriorate before my eyes as he doubled over as though he was in pain. I saw the opportunity and took it, opening my mouth to feign speech before I rushed forward, aiming the tip of my blade for his throat. Within seconds, I was upon my ass, the rapier spinning through the air as his now-bleeding hoof smacked it away, a dangerous glare in his eyes while I tumbled backward. Sundance took off to the right, disappearing through the doors of the pitch-black kitchens as my blade clattered to the floor, missing my side by mere inches. I scooped the weapon up and pursued as quickly as I could, yelling over my shoulder as I followed my prey.
"Luna, he went the other way! Come quickly!"
The very moment my hooves made contact with the checkered tile of the kitchens, the air seemed to grow colder. The fur upon the back of my neck stood straight as the light from my horn caught upon hanging pots and pans, sending off an eerie glow and distorted reflections of myself and my surroundings. I tried my best not to look, the images somewhat unsettling to me, as I was already on edge. I did a quick visual sweep of the room, finding that the only exits were the various high windows, none of which were open. Sundance was cornered, and it would end here.
"Wherever you are... I'll take you alive, and you're going to answer all of my questions! I am tired of being jerked around and made a foal in my castle!"
A sudden sharp banging rang out, the sound causing me to jump and turn, looking frantically about to find the source of the noise. More clanging followed, as though a foal was running his hoof along the hanging pans, trying to make as much noise as possible to annoy his parents. A quick glance to my left found an entire section of pans swaying, and I made off for the location, trying my best to focus above the obnoxious din.
"I'm not scared of you! S-stop playing games!"
That sweet, disgusting smell rising up around me was the only response, and I hoped against hope that it somehow meant Luna had gotten my message and rushed to lend her assistance. Of course, I knew better than that, but hope was about all I had in the dark, freezing kitchen. Another shuffle of movement darted past in my peripheral, and I turned to find those same glowing, haunting magenta eyes I had seen on that horrid night mere inches from my own. A black mist swallowed the rest of the intruder's form, obscuring my vision from anything but the pulsating irises staring me down as I backed into a counter, injuring my side as I slammed against the marble surface with a yelp.
"Poor Vladimir Blueblood, hated by all, distrusted, and now the suspect of murder most foul," a mocking, feminine tone began. The voice was the same as the one I had heard that night in my room, though otherwise unfamiliar. Eyes not unlike Celestia's, though with slitted pupils, bore down upon me, black magic of Luna's swirling forward as the figure moved with grace throughout the darkness, leaning down until some part of what I hoped was a face touched my nose. "Your little friend is right- this is all a game... and the losers are you, and Shining Armor."
In my panic, I scrabbled a hoof against the tile as the she-devil began a cruel laugh, desperately searching for my rapier. I knew that it had fallen, but I was unable to locate the blade as the monster before me raised her eyes toward the ceiling. A moment later, the otherworldly orbs were back upon me, and I saw only a manifestation of sheer hatred reflected in her gaze.
"Kill him."
The entire construct of mist, along with the eyes, seemed to vanish as the room went silent following the creature's command. Hesitantly, I rose to my hooves and looked around, my ears flicking as a dull, faint buzzing noise began to echo throughout the cavernous room. Without warning, a hard force impacted my stomach, bowling me over once again as I slammed back into the counter, sending cookware down onto my body in an avalanche as I flailed in a panic. Sundance was atop me, his eyes glowing as he pressed his hooves hard into my chest, easily keeping me pinned to the counter. The pegasus stallion opened his mouth and let out a hiss, showing off long, curved fangs reaching from his upper and lower lips, along with a forked tongue. I screamed in panic, pounding my hooves against him as hard as I could in an effort to dislodge the freakish stallion, to no avail. The pegasus reared his head back as though he was a cobra readying for a strike, and I closed my eyes, doing all that I could to shield my face with my hooves from the incoming attack.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
The rush of air was the only warning I had that the strike was incoming, and I began praying to every deity I could think of, none of which I believed in, that I would survive the assault. In my mind, I could feel the grip of piercing fangs around my neck, and the oncoming pain that would be visited to me as my lifeblood flowed out onto the floor from what was sure to be a set of fatal wounds. The anticipation made it so much worse, and I screamed as I felt the splash of hot blood running down my neck and chest... but there was no pain to accompany it. Only a wet, squelching noise met my ears, followed by total silence, and so I opened my eyes. The blood was not my own.
I trembled and quivered as I gazed at the horrific sight before me- there stood Sundance, frozen in mid-lunge with his demonic looking maw opened wide, and the blade of a kitchen knife piercing through the back of his mouth. The blade was lodged into the back of his head, exiting through his mouth as though it was a glimmering tongue of steel, shaking violently as the life drained from the impaled pony's eyes. He wasn't a pony. He couldn't be. All around the knife's entry point, the blood was blue . A generous spray of azure liquid had hit my chest and neck, dripping down and staining my coat as the corpse continued to bleed all over me before slumping into my lap as the knife was removed from its head. There was little I could do but catch the falling body on instinct, utterly bewildered as I looked up into my savior's eyes, awaiting an explanation.
"What... the fuck... is that thing...?" Moss asked through shuddering breaths as he dropped the knife, the clatter against the tile floor much louder than it would normally have been. "Let it go! Don't touch it!"
The words took a moment to register as I looked down at the body in my hooves, only to shove the cadaver away in horror. Where fur of brilliant ivory once was, there was only a black, smooth, chitinous shell. Twisted, papery wings rested at the creature's side, and the telltale fangs and tongue that I had seen before were still in place. Suddenly, everything clicked, and I scrambled to my hooves as quickly as I could before dusting myself down and trying to flick the blood from my legs.
"A changeling! He's... Moss, this isn't a pony! Have you not seen what these creatures can do?"
Moss, true to form, looked absolutely clueless as he surveyed his stained outfit with a look of disgust. His eyes snapped back to the dead or dying bug, and from then on, never left the body. "What? No, I've never even... I thought they were just a myth."
"They are very much not. You'd heard nothing of Shining Armor and Cadenza's wedding, several years ago? You truly haven't seen even a picture?" I asked, incredibly worked up from adrenaline and fear. A small rush of excitement washed over me as I began piecing the puzzle together in my mind, awaiting his answer.
"Nope. I'm not from around here, remember? I never really got the news back home." Moss ran a hoof through his mane, looking somewhere between confused and horrified.
"It doesn't matter, I can explain later. We need to comb the castle for Silver Shield. If Sundance... or rather, this changeling, was posing as one of the corpses we found, his accomplice may not be far! This all makes so much sense, and places us in grave danger. Come!" I commanded, as I began trotting for the doorway.
"What? Why... oh, fuck it, I'm coming!" Moss gathered up his kitchen knife and followed as I scooped up my rapier from one of the many pools of sapphire blood painting the white tile floor. As I reached the doorframe, I ran directly into Luna's chest, bumping her hard and somehow, falling upon my ass instead of bowling her over. Needless to say, she was not amused.
"What was all of that yelling, just now? You will explain what is going on this instant ," Luna demanded, her trademarked glare in full effect.
"Auntie, we need to hurry ! Shining Armor is in serious peril! Have you see a white unicorn with a purple mane about, possibly dressed as a chef or server?" I returned to my hooves, breathing hard as Moss helped me up.
"No, I have not. I was waiting to spring the ambush, and then you came to me and lead us into another room to chase the would-be assassin. Stop being foalish."
It took a moment for the words to register in my mind, before my heartbeat sped up instead of beginning to calm. "That wasn't me! Auntie, there are... we need to hurry!" I shoved past Luna and stormed out into the hallway, not bothering to explain myself. Luna poked her head into the kitchen and ignited the wall torches, taking in the scene for a split second before she rejoined my side opposite Moss, not needing the explanation I was unwilling to give.
"He lead me back here, to the kitchens, and then seemed to vanish as he stepped inside. The intruder could be anywhere, and I highly doubt he will match the description of that unicorn, you, or anypony else here!"
Without a clear plan in place, I began to thunder through the halls, looking for anything suspicious as my hooves carried me with an apparent destination in mind. I found myself heading back toward the dining hall, from which the sounds of screams and stampeding hooves could be heard. Moss was the next to speak, my own mind too busy to formulate even a sentence as we ran together as a team.
"Wait... you said something about a wedding, and Shining Armor. Where's he at now?"
"The infirmary, with any luck. Sister likely took him there immediately after the attack, unless she is attempting crowd control," Luna replied.
I snorted, shaking my head. "Let us hope she was not so stupid! He needs medical attention, and... you !" I deviated from my course, chasing down a guard just ahead who was patrolling alone. Without warning, I slammed the pony into a nearby wall with a body check, bracing my foreleg against his throat with a snarl. "Identification!"
The poor colt, a silver unicorn, stammered and fumbled about as he began to choke underneath the pressure of my leg.
"H-h-here!" The guard produced a legitimate badge, holding it out with a shaking hoof so that I could read the finer details. I cursed aloud and stomped the floor, feeling very much like an idiot as Moss took the opportunity to inform me of what I already knew, his hoof upon my shoulder.
"Shit, man! Chill out! We can't just go around stopping every single guard, civilian, and what have you to see if they're a... a thing. If you're worried about Shining, ya need to make sure he's even alive, first!"
I released the guard and let him drop to his hooves, the familiar urge to punch Moss rising up within me. It was entirely unjustified, for once, but the stress of the situation had reinforced a fact that I had long been aware of- I was no leader or great decision-maker.
"I shall go to my sister and assist where I can. The guard will be directed to let none leave the palace until they are thoroughly searched, and you two are to collect any evidence that you can, before locating me with a report." Luna struck me with a piercing gaze and left no room for argument in her orders. As I opened my mouth to reply, she vanished in a shroud of black mist, not unlike that of the creature that had been haunting my dreams, and now, my reality. Could it have been her? Was it the changeling queen, a menace from so long ago, and one that I had never personally met? The possibilities caused my head to throb, and the waning adrenaline within my body left me feeling utterly exhausted. I reached a hoof to my forehead, the familiar feeling of being an utter failure creeping up around my heart and mind as my head began to pound.
"Hey. Hey ." There it was again, Moss' hoof upon my shoulder, beginning to rub. I had not the energy, nor the inclination, to slap him away as the gravity of the situation began to sink in. I was feeling nervous, unfulfilled, and honestly, quite terrified. "You gonna be alright, big guy?"
"...you saved my life. I owe you my life," I stated matter-of-factly, though I wasn't sure if it was to explain the notion to him, or myself.
"Whatever. I'll collect my debt later, but right now, you need to chill out, and think . Are we collecting evidence and playing good little lap dogs for tall, dark, and scary, or do you have another plan?"
"I don't know. I don't know, Moss. I was almost slaughtered like a common sow, mere moments ago! Shining Armor is likely dead, it's going to be seen as my fault once the truth gets out, and I c-"
My ranting was interrupted with a set of lips upon mine, and for the second time, I received a kiss from another stallion. Once again, it wasn't returned, and I merely stood in confusion as the act lasted for several seconds. Without another option, I slapped his face away, leaving a bright, red welt on the cheek of my savior.
"What the hell are you playing at!?"
"Excuse me for trying to make you feel better!" Moss rubbed at his cheek, though he didn't look angry. He looked almost as if he had expected the hit. As though he had wanted it.
"Well, stop trying! We need to search the kitchen for any clues, and then... find Shining Armor, I suppose." I pulled a face, trying to get the taste of Moss off my lips as I turned back and began trotting for the kitchen. Moss followed along, completely unfazed by the slap, my mood, or the gore before us as we entered.
The kitchen was alight, but not alive, as the torches that Auntie had lit along the walls cast an eerie glow across the metal equipment. The very much dead changeling lay slumped atop a fallen assortment of pans, rich blue blood spilt across the floor and pooling around his corpse. The changeling's skin seemed shriveled, more unnatural than usual, as though he had already begun to decay. His eyes were lifeless, lacking a pupil, and a rather large hole was torn through the back of his head, revealing a lack of bones within the creature's head. I had been so lucky...
"Yo, chubs. What's that?" Moss pointed down next to the corpse, where a few tatters of my outfit lay in a sticky pool of blood. Clung to the outfit and wet with the blue liquid was a grouping of three long, flowing strands of orange hair, quite unlike that of a pony. I lit my horn and levitated the strands, looking on as they danced in a wispy motion, their very appearance almost... ghostly. I watched, transfixed by the simple strands as a rippling black mist swirled nearby, and my heart stopped in automatic response. Aunt Luna stepped forward from the swirling blackness, and I had never been so thankful to see her as in that moment.
"He's alive, but only just. Celestia and Cadance are watching over him."
I released a breath I hadn't been aware that I was holding, and with it, my very will to stay awake. With the outward sigh of relief, the magical grip around the hairs fizzled out, and with it, so did my consciousness.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
A prevailing numbness was all that I could feel. A shrieking beep was all that I could hear. But the things I saw... those horrible, menacing things that I saw ...
Flashes of fangs, an azure, arterial spray painting my vision with blood of deepest blue. Glowing, unnatural magenta eyes bearing down upon my mind, their gaze so strong that it seemed to possess weight . I was trapped in a swirling void, an unending blackness- the abyss of an induced dream. Perhaps my mind was being controlled... or perhaps my body was, instead. Either way, all that filled my ears, provided I still had them, was that shrieking, unsteady beep.
My eyes slowly opened, confirming my continued existence. Slowly, gradually, my surroundings began to make sense, and the beeping became less of an annoyance, and more of a saving grace. The heart monitor continued its steady rhythm, reminding me that I was alive . I could barely remember anything from the previous... hour? Day? I couldn't tell how much time had passed. My muscles ached, my mouth was dry, and the vast majority of my body was sore. I made an attempt to sit up, only to be pushed back down by a blindingly bright white hoof.
"Rest, Vladimir. You had quite a hard fall."
Before me stood two white alicorns, though in time, the fuzzy outlines merged into one. I blinked a few times to regain clarity of vision, and took in the form of my Auntie. Never before had I been relieved to see the doting sow, but this was a happy exception. I took her hoof in mine, rubbing my larger hoof against her own.
"Auntie... what happened...?"
"You passed out, and Luna brought you here. I came as s-"
"I meant in general," I croaked, my voice coming out somewhat raspy and harsh. Where were my servants? Such negligence was completely unacceptable, even while I slept...
"Ah. We are... still piecing that together, I believe." Celestia leaned closer, sitting upon the side of the strangely large hospital bed. I must have been in the royal infirmary, as was proper. At least my station was still being recognized. "You most definitely slayed a changeling, and we have evidence that there was more than one. The 'dead' guard's companion may be running around as well, and needs to be found as soon as possible."
I shifted uncomfortably, looking up at the strangely-postured alicorn. She lacked her usual jewelry, the odd appearance making her look a bit younger than usual. She had a certain sadness hanging about her features, though all things considered, I could hardly blame her. I was quite sure that I looked a mess as well, so I was in no position to judge. Well, aside from my position of usual superiority, that is.
"Auntie... I-I found a... a hair. Almost silken to the touch. Some sort of mist-shrouded demon commanded that changeling. Whether it was another, or some manner of beast, I cannot be sure. Something has come calling, and we are all in danger."
Celestia listened intently, her expression neutral. She took several moments to collect her thoughts before responding, as her wings curled back into her sides from their erect position.
"I see. I shall inform the guard, a-"
The guard . "Shining Armor. Where...?"
Celestia reached down and rubbed my hoof, trying and succeeding to silence my outburst. "On your other side, my nephew."
I slowly turned my head, somewhat apprehensive as to what I might find. Buried beneath a pile of blankets, flowers, and surrounded by 'Get Well' cards, lay the fallen captain of the day guard. Needless to say, no such things were around my bed. His face was covered on one side, wrapped with thick swathes of gauze and covered by medical tape. His pallor looked quite... off , though I couldn't put my hoof on it. He seemed lifeless, though his chest did indeed continue to rise and fall, as the heart monitor, hooked to him instead of me, acted as yet more reassurance that he was very much alive. Even so, the sight was unsettling at best.
"He'll make it, yes?"
"He will. You saved his life." Celestia shifted once again, looking incredibly uncomfortable as her voluminous flank spilled over the edge of the bed. "Some think you a part of the assassination attempt... but I am fighting such rumors tooth and nail."
I blinked in surprise. I had thought Celestia of all ponies would have believed such things, given how I had ranted about Shining Armor to her in the past. Perhaps family ties did mean something...
"Auntie... we need to speak, and soon."
"Why not now? We have the time."
"...I am not ready." Despite the opportunity, despite the clear show of support, I could not bring myself to discuss my Cadenza with Shining right there . If he woke... if he knew ... then perhaps he would begin to believe that I was, indeed, his attempted assassin. Though I hated him like a brother, his ire was not something I wished for, despite our differences.
"Very well. I need to look at his wound again. Whatever that poison was, I sincerely hope we need never see it again." Celestia rose and walked to Shining's bedside, where she began unwrapping the dressings upon his cheek. I rolled over to watch, though my mind was screaming at me to turn away.
"Bloodlet Moss. My... partner told me as much."
"Your partner?" Celestia sang, giving me a cheeky grin.
"Not like that, you nonce."
"If you say so," she replied as she peeled off the gauze. Beneath the wrapping, Shining's cheek was marred by several angular stitches. The flesh of his cheek had been eaten away, and skin had quite clearly been grafted from somewhere else upon his body to fill in the holes. The resulting bulge was quite ugly, but nothing compared to the light pink and sickly yellow fringes surrounding the flap of skin. The stitched wound almost looked infected, with the skin discolored and almost bubbly patches of the normally smooth surface near his jawline. I could only look for mere seconds before my stomach began to turn.
"Whomever is responsible for this is a monster. Between this, stalking my dreams, and making an attempt upon my life..."
"He will recover in time, and so will you. You need fluids, rest, and company, no matter how much you may protest the latter. I believe I should let this wound air..." Celestia took a seat beside Shining and began to stroke his mane, earning a groan from the behemoth of a stallion. Shining Armor stirred, and slowly began to wake as my mood worsened even more. It was only a matter of time before Cadenza would arrive to fawn over him...
"Mmmngh... Tia? Vlad...?" he weakly inquired, only his eye moving about as he spoke. His voice sounded distorted, as though he was speaking around several cotton balls. A part of me couldn't help but feel for him, though another began to regret saving him. My every obstacle, right before me and incapacitated. Without him, my place in the palace would have been unchallenged... but I had to have a heart. A heart that had gotten me nowhere.
"Shhh, my captain. Rest your cheek. You are safe. Vladimir saved you," the alicorn said, continuing to lightly stroke Shining's mane. The stallion's eye teared up as he looked over at me. Wordlessly, he mouthed 'thank you'. Had I been conflicted before, it was nothing compared to what I'd felt in that moment. For the briefest second, it all felt worth it. I knew such a notion would change again in time, but then, I was content to watch what might as well have been mother and daughter, locked in a worried embrace.
Without my Auntie upon the bed, I suddenly began to feel cold, and subsequently, bitter.
"Where is Moss?"
"The stallion you invited as a representative? My sister said that he departed to prowl the palace for the other changeling. We haven't heard from him since."
"He saved my life, as well," I said with a sigh. "I would like for you to invite him to the palace, if at all possible. Offer him a position among my bodyguards. His homelessness will be solved, I will be well-protected... and perhaps he and I can make progress with this entire mystery. After all- he has seen what I have seen, and he knows where other patches of Bloodlet grow around Canterlot."
Celestia paused to consider my words, playing with Shining's hoof as he concentrated on breathing and looking incredibly weak. After a rather obnoxious amount of time, she nodded, as though agreeing with herself. "Very well. Once you are well, I would like for the two of you to gather as much of this 'Bloodlet' as you are able to, so that we might fabricate preventative measures. It is too deadly a weapon to ignore, and if our unknown enemy plays to employ it, we need a leg up on them."
I heaved a sigh, knowing that any attempt at resistance would be met with blackmail. Then again... was it such a bad thing? I was being entrusted with an assignment, and an important one, at that. It was quite literally a first, and one that I would not pass up. Perhaps public opinion of me would shift, once I was outed as the true hero I had been in the past weeks...
"It will be done. I am leaving," I stated plainly. I tried to sit up, only to feel a rush of blood pooling in my forehead, prompting me to lie back down almost immediately. I summoned up my strength and tried once again, glaring daggers at Celestia as she simply watched . Finally out of the bed, I began to head for the door, sparing one last glance at my Auntie and the prostrate knight. I gave each a nod in turn, and headed out through the door, into the hallway.
So much had stopped making sense within the past few days, and so many questions were left unanswered. The throbbing within my skull only made the scenarios all the more confusing, and I walked slowly toward the winding stairwell, mulling over all that I had seen and done. Times were changing, and I was changing with them. What I wanted in life, what I stood for... everything had changed, and I wasn't sure of the answer. I also wasn't sure whether or not I liked that.
As my hooves depressed into the plushy, cranberry carpet of the long and lonely hallway, I spotted the silhouette of somepony standing at the opposite end. The figure stood still, looking over something within its hoof before heading down the stairs at borderline unnatural speed. With an extreme sense of foreboding, and very little common sense, I picked up my gait into a gallop, and pursued.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"You!" I bellowed, making my way down the spiraling stairs will all the grace of an elephant in a thunderstorm. "Halt! I am Prince Vladimir Blueblood, and you will answer any and all questions that I might have!"
The sound of worried breaths echoed up the cavernous stairwell from below, followed by a weak, almost feminine-sounding voice. "No! I-I want nothing to do with you! Just let me do my job, and please leave me alone! "
My chest heaved with effort, blood swimming through my forehead as I continued to run, stumble, and slide my way back down to the ground floor of the cursed castle. I was keeping a decent pace, and saw the flicker of a ghost-white tail disappear around the corner as my slightly more agile prey continued their attempted escape. "I'll have you charged with treason!"
"You charge everypony with treason if they so much as move your tea cozies by accident!" the voice replied... and to be fair, they did have a point, but the time for logic had long since passed! Nopony could have known what danger this escaping pony could portend, and I was not about to take risks, what with the events that had happened such a short time ago.
"And I'll double your sentence, should you fail to slow and face me! This is a matter of Canterlot security!"
As I rounded the corner, the fleeing pony slowed, and eventually, stopped. There, in the center of a side hall, sat a dull orange unicorn with a grey, almost snow-white mane and tail, and brilliant blue eyes to nearly rival my own. The pony turned to look at me with the slightest hint of fear amidst their look of apprehension and conflict, and I quite honestly couldn't tell if the creature was a stallion or mare. I walked closer, taking in their features, before reaching only one, simple conclusion- they were incredibly attractive.
"You ," I began, "are in so much trouble ." I stopped just before the pony, who did little else than lean slightly backward with a grimace. Upon checking their facial structure, and a slightly more obvious structure, I realized that they were, in fact, a stallion.
Damn it.
"I-I'm sorry, but I just... I've heard rumors about you, and I know you aren't in a good mood, and I have a lot of work to do, and I don't have time for false accusations a-"
"False accusations!? " I bellowed. "I do not make false accusations! I inspect, decide, and execute . Literally, when need be. Now, turn fully, face me properly, and follow my orders, or else!" My nostrils flared, adding to my imposing image. I'd have scarcely been surprised had the womanly little colt pissed himself in terror by then, but much to my surprise, he nodded, swallowed, and acquiesced. "Your name."
He took another deep breath, seeming to calm himself before answering. "Golden Sands, sir. I'm sorry to have bothered you with this, but I really need to be going. Celestia has me working on a really b-"
"And I have you working on an investigation! Silence! "
Golden Sands froze, his mouth hanging open in mid-word, before he abruptly closed it and decided not to argue. A smart little pony, this one was. "...yes sir. What am I investigating?"
"No, no, you aren't investigating anything! I need to make sure you're not a changeling, or a conspirator, or..."
"You should really be careful of misuse of grammar. It only leads to confusion," he stated with a small smirk. Before I could interject, he began speaking again and successfully cut me off. "I'm not a changeling, sir. I'm a simple mechanic, inventor, and one of Princess Celestia's newly-employed castle staff. Here."
Golden reached down into his worn, brown leather saddlebag and produced a small badge, the Royal Seal stuck to the back of it, plain as day. I looked the glittering object over twice, before snatching it from him. "I will be inquiring to Celestia herself about this."
"Wouldn't it be easier to ask around? If my work is held up, the princess won't be pleased." The colt brushed his long, bushy mane out of his face, remaining completely calm. The nervousness had seemed to have disappeared as soon as he found a leg up in the conversation. That stupid smugness and superiority that he carried himself with, simply because he was a scientist... it needed to end.
"Have it your way!" I yelled, before pegging the badge off the side of his face. Golden toppled over backward, clutching his cheek and looking scandalized. That showed him.
"Could you please refrain from having a fit? I'm willing to help, if you act reasonably!"
"I will act as I so choose!" I said with a stomp. I began to feel very childish, and it occurred to me that I was likely making yet another enemy in this pretentious twit. Then again, he wasn't a pony I would ever have need of, and so, such a situation was far from a catastrophe. "I will indeed ask around about you, and should anything suspicious be brought to my attention, I shall have your head myself!"
"Fine. Now, can I get back to work? Please?" he inquired, with actual sincerity. Despite my brash approach, he had not a hint of malice in his tone. I made a personal mental note to piss him off before the New Year. Such manners and cheer along with a timid nature was doubly obnoxious, and he would need to be properly cracked.
"Not until you cease to be of use to me."
"...I've been of use...?" Golden tilted his head, genuinely taken aback. I didn't have an answer for him.
"Just... shut up, before I assault you. Have you seen a green pony with a disheveled blue mane, about this tall," I made a rough measure with my hoof, "running around? He is needed once again."
"Creeping Moss?" I nodded, a feeling of dread creeping into the pit of my stomach. "Yes, I saw him just an hour ago. He tried to steal one of my inventions, and... well... succeeded..." he mumbled, half-hiding behind his mane. I wasn't sure whether I was happy that this jackass had been stolen from, or annoyed that Moss had made himself a target for Celestia. In the end, I decided that I simply didn't care either way.
"I see. Tell me where he was, and I will retrieve your toy, child."
"It is not a toy ," he spat, while shooting me a nasty glare. That had certainly done it- his Achilles' Heel, presented to me on a silver platter. All it would take to ruffle that one's feathers would be to 'accidentally' break some trinket or bauble, and victory would be mine. Oh, what fun it would be...
"Fine, fine... your device... " I replied with a snicker. His glare intensified, the sapphire eyes burning bright and seemingly attempting to sear a hole through my own. My confidence remained unaffected, as I was well used to the routine of being challenged and hated. "Now, give me the information, little boy, and perhaps we can benefit each other."
Golden opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to think better of it before clearing his throat and trying again. "Yes. He was out in the gardens,near the statue of Discord. After he swiped the grenade, he ran somewhere into the hedge maze."
Moss had a grenade? As though my life wasn't difficult enough at that moment...
"I will go and investigate post-haste. That obnoxious little wart shouldn't have anything explosive or flammable within a mile of himself. Thank you for your help, little one. Now, run along, and snap your blocks together with my blessing." I waved him off with a hoof, and his shoulders shook a bit in anger and he turned and quite literally ran off, before slamming a nearby door. Oh, what a sensitive little pansy he was.
Without sparing him so much as a glance, I turned and made my way down the hall, toward the doors that would lead me out into the gardens.
"Vlad and Cadance, sittin' in a tree, this won't rhyme but they'll never screw," Moss sang as he tossed a small, spherical object up and down in his hoof while leaning over a rail in the gardens.
"Hilarious ," I replied. "Just what the hell have you been doing, stealing explosives from the palace? Celestia told me you were busy investigating!" I approached the meddlesome bastard before me with a sneer, and stood next to him at the rail. Below was a fantastic view of the Royal Gardens, though not a view worth the two-hour search it had taken me to find my supposed 'companion'.
"I was... and then I got bored, so I swiped a smoke grenade. Well, I actually swiped two. The other one was really pretty when it blew up, but I dunno what color this'll be. Wanna find out?"
"I will throttle you and then sit upon the corpse whilst drinking tea," I spat.
"...okay, normally I'm joking when I say this, but that's hot ," he replied with a cheeky grin. He continued tossing the device up and down, until I snatched it from him with a magical pull during one of its apexes. "Hey!"
"Too slow, quite like yourself," I said as I turned the little orb over in midair, inspecting the craftsmanship.
"Not too slow to save your life, fatass."
I didn't reply for quite some time, instead focusing my attentions upon the smoke grenade. It was remarkably well put-together, and had I not been so utterly annoyed with that Golden Sands fellow, I would've gone to ask about having more produced. However, more important matters were at hoof...
"...thank you. Truly."
Moss looked taken aback, as well he should have.
"I mean it. In fact, I would like you to keep saving my life. I'd like to offer you a position among my bodyguards... or rather, as my bodyguard . The others continually quit, and I recently fired the remaining lot of them. Don't tell my auntie," I smirked, trying to make light of the situation. Moss looked everywhere but at me, as though he was embarrassed. Perhaps he was.
"Bodyguard? Man, I don't know... I'm not exactly a law-abiding goody-goody who plays by the rules, and holds a steady job..."
"You seem to have forgotten- neither am I. "
Moss let out a raspy chuckle. "True enough. I guess it'd get me off the streets... at least some of the time. I need the streets for some things, and you're gonna need the streets to get this done, you know. I've got resources."
"Then make those resources officially mine. We have a string of crimes to solve, your continued existence being one of them," I only half-joked.
"You'll get the answer to that one in time, big boy." Moss popped his shoulder blades before dismounting the rail and turning to face me. "Alright, I'll do it, on one condition."
"You're not in the place to be making demands, you little shit, but I'll hear it anyway." I flipped my luxurious golden locks to one side, somewhat amused at the thought of Moss making a request. He had saved my life, so I supposed it was the least I could have done.
"I get the guest bedroom in your little suite, and your bed for the first night," he stated with a devious grin.
I had absolutely no idea what he was up to, but I didn't like the idea one bit. I would need him close, but that close... it seemed as though he had an ulterior motive. I opened my mouth to protest, only to be cut off once again.
"Don'tcha want me close for when the misty-thing comes back? It came for you in your sleep, didn't it?"
Little else needed to be said for me to be completely convinced of his little idea. I had never been easy to scare, but the thought of that thing sent a surge of paranoia and sickness coursing through my body in one fell swoop. It was an unexplainable phenomenon, and one that I wasn't about to admit to. I simply nodded, trying not to appear as shaken as I truly was by the thought.
"Very well. I will afford you some room within my personal chambers. Let us retire post haste, and discuss our predicament in the morning."
"Sounds good. I've got some ideas as to what our next move should be. Where we can find the remaining asshole, and maybe even the misty-thingy." Moss swiped his hoof outward with unnatural speed, successfully stealing back his smoke grenade. "Now who's too slow?"
"Me, for ever allowing this partnership. Lead on, Moss."
And lead he did, obnoxiously swaying his flank as we headed back to my chambers in tandem. I found it quite easy to resist looking at his display, as my mind was on much more urgent affairs, such as the pounding headache that had taken residence within my skull. Mere seconds after entering the bedroom, I flopped gracelessly onto the goose-down mattress, not bothering to remove the bandages and bracelets I had acquired during my stay in the infirmary. Immediately after, the green stallion touched down beside me, and I found myself far too tired to protest his move to join me for the night. I simply closed my eyes, and drifted off into a long, restful sleep.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
The sensation of weight upon my chest served to confuse me as I slowly blinked awake. As I received my explanation, the confusion only deepened, albeit in an entirely different way. Creeping Moss lay atop my chest, beneath the blankets, which covered both him and I. His small frame felt nearly weightless as he rose and fell with the slow motions of my chest, and I found myself without the heart to move him. His lithe form was curled atop me, a bit like the way a dog would rest upon a carpet before a roaring fire. His own breathing was much shallower than my own, his whistling breaths frantic and sharp, even in sleep. The contrast between us was large, and to an extent... amusing . Never had I imagined that I would share a bed with a stallion, let alone one such as he.
I craned my neck off to the side, peering out into the crimson curtains that blocked my view of the balcony. Small, soft shadows passed down behind the veil, filtering the sunlight with the silhouettes of fresh snow. The sun itself was at eye level whilst I reclined, signaling the dawn of a new day. There was so much to be done, so much paperwork to fill out to make Moss' ascension to guard status official... and so many plans to formulate. We needed to get our hooves upon the moss, sooner or later... and Moss needed to get his hooves off of me.
The little knave's hoof had snaked its way down to the other prince in the room, and had begun to explore. I whipped my head toward my daring prey, and found my glare was met with a cheeky grin. He was most definitely awake, though I had no idea for how long he had played possum.
"Get your hoof off of my equipment, this instant," I snarled.
"You love it," he replied with a toothy grin.
"Being a bodyguard does not involve touching my body. Remove yourself, before I remove your foreleg ."
"Killjoy," he replied before slipping down beneath the sheets. For a moment, I thought I was going to need a crowbar to pry him from my body before he emerged from the foot of the bed, slipping out from under the covers. Never had I seen one exit the bed in such a way, but, in retrospect, I wasn't exactly surprised by that fact.
"So, Boss, what's on the menu?" he inquired whilst scratching his flank with a hoof. Whether it was out of curiosity, or sheer disbelief at his gall, I found myself unable to stop watching.
"Whatever you find. Raid the fridge, for all I care. You ruined a perfectly good opportunity to sleep in and laze about, you nonce." I rolled back onto my side, lighting my horn to pull back the curtains guarding the balcony. The cloths parted with a gentle swoosh , revealing the slowly-falling, yet densely-packed snow flittering about in the morning air. Truly, it was the mark of a beautiful day- and I was not one to appreciate such things often. For whatever reason, I had found myself in a decent mood, which turned out to be an incredible boon.
Otherwise, Moss would have been impaled shortly thereafter.
"Yo, this cake is bangin'," came the singsong voice from the kitchenette. On any other day, I would have ascended to alicornism, flown into the kitchen, and lopped his head clean off his shoulders for touching the dessert I had been saving. On that day, however... something was different. Perhaps I had gotten used to him. Perhaps I had simply given up.
"...you're having cake for breakfast?"
"When you spend your whole damned life on the streets, ya'd eat cake every meal if ya could get away with it," he spoke around a mouthful of the spongy, expensive treat. It absolutely killed me when he had a valid point.
I didn't remove my eyes from the falling snow, only to find that he moved his unsightly ass directly into my frame of view by standing before the window and gazing out over the city, while chewing, loudly . I immediately began to regret the decision to give the little bastard lodging. With a heavy sigh, I propped myself up in bed upon a hoof, and began clearing my goldenrod locks out of my vision. "So... what are your thoughts on this other changeling, and Bloodlet? Where could we acquire more of it for study?"
"Yeah... 'bout that." He paused to swallow, the majority of the cake long since devoured. "The shit likes to grow in damp caves. The one we hit up ain't a good option, on account of the flood. It'd be hard to find chunks of it anymore, after it got torn apart. It probably got washed out of the cave and dried up, and the rocks might've collapsed down there."
"Do you have a point, or are you simply going to list the reasons why we're screwed?"
"Calm your royal tits, I'm getting to that." Moss sat upon his flanks, before placing the empty cake plate upon a nearby end table. Somehow, I knew I would be cleaning that up later. "Remember that other cave? The one beneath that lake I mentioned a while back?"
"The one we mutually agreed would be nearly impossible to reach without powerful magic and alerting the princesses?" I asked. Suddenly, it occurred to me that neither of those problems was much of a problem... though convincing a mage capable of sustaining a water-breathing spell for long enough to dive and find the entrance would be another matter entirely. I certainly wasn't capable of such a feat, and Shining Armor was out of the question...
"Yeah, that. I think we can find a way. What about that Golden Sands pony?" Moss turned to face me, licking his lips as a glint of metal flashed over his teeth. I blinked, trying to process just what I had seen.
"Did you pierce your tongue? "
"...yeah, long time ago. What, are you not staring lovingly at my mouth when I talk? Get with the program."
I merely shook my head, unable to remember if I had known such a thing before. Again, I was unsurprised, merely... unsure what to make of the situation. It was certainly the first piercing of such a nature I had seen in pony. It left me to wonder what else he may have jammed metal into.
"...anyway. What about that Golden Sands pony? He's a complete ass."
"Ya think he's got anything that could get us to the cave entrance? The fewer ponies we bring, the easier it'll be. Just me and you would be preferable, and if he has any kind of crazy device that could get us down there, w-"
"And you suddenly come up with this idea after stealing a smoke grenade from him, and souring his opinion of both of us? You really are a perfect asshole," I fumed.
"I know. My asshole is perfect, isn't it?" He lifted his tail to prove a point, and soon found a pillow sailing through the air to impact his rump. I shook my head and stalked off into the bathroom to retrieve my prized comb before beginning to furiously tug it through the knots in my mane.
"I'm assuming you'll leave this absolute honor to me. In that case, you'll have to give up the grenade so that I have collateral to trade with. I can't see him assisting us, otherwise. Toss it here."
I really should have seen it coming. I really should have thought about who I was talking to, and his mental capabilities. However, all I found myself thinking about was the many ways in which I could murder an earth pony as the smoke grenade whistled through the entrance to the bathroom, impacted the shower glass, and burst. A thick, rolling cloud of purple smoke erupted from the device, billowing outward and absolutely covering my fur, the tile, towels, and everything else in the room with ashen dust and smog. I coughed loudly, dropping my brush as my eyes began to water while my ears rang with harsh laughter. Moss was in hysterics as I stumbled out of the bathroom and tripped my way into the carpet. My fur was stained, my eyes were watering, and my lungs heaved with the effort of finding fresh air.
Despite all of the chaos, idiocy, and wreckage Moss had caused... he wasn't the only one laughing. I couldn't keep the slight curl from the edges of my lips, nor could I stop the snickering that followed. It had been quite clever, and so very like him...
"I fucking despise you."
"Love you too. Go get cleaned up, and hey! At least we know his shit works. Look at that, he's capable of decent tech."
I rolled my eyes and stumbled toward the door. "I'll have to find another shower to use. Hand me the remains of the grenade, and clean that bathroom, with your teeth and tongue if you must." I expectantly held out a hoof, only to receive the spent shell of the device moments later.
"You got it, Boss."
I was quite beginning to like that name...
A quick shower in the infirmary later, I was lost in my thoughts as I walked toward the lab of Golden Sands. I found myself trying to decide between continued torment of the little unicorn, or attempting to make amends. While digging into his ribs ever farther would be my normal approach, our mission was one in serious need of completion, and I was not about to muck up my big break. Perhaps my Auntie had been right- my turn in the limelight was just around the corner. I could be seen as a hero for doing what none other in the castle could be bothered to do. I could finally be worthy of my title, in the eyes of others. However, life had chosen that exact moment to throw a wrench in my newfound resolve.
"...Vladimir?"
Against my will, my heart leapt at the sound of her angelic voice. The damnable organ seemed to freeze in mid-jump as her beautiful face slid into my view, though her cheeks were streaked with trails of tears. I struggled to force down my old feelings for the pony who had done so much to destroy what little heart I had, but seeing her vulnerable gave me pause. All of those feelings I had cast aside just before the banquet came rushing back, and her words echoed inside my head. True love does not simply fade. It hides, but never goes away.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't hate her for choosing that overgrown, bedridden foal. Resent, perhaps... but not hate.
"Cadenza. What is wrong?" I stepped forward, cupping her cheek with my hoof as I put on a genuine frown of concern. An expression saved only for her, and one I hadn't used in quite some time.
"No, I... nothing is wrong. Not anymore. You saved him, Vladimir. You saved my Shining Armor's life." Cadance moved forward ever so slightly, nestling her face into the crook of my neck. The sensation was absolutely heavenly, and one I would never tire of. Nor would I tire of her scent...
"You expected anything less? I was simply doing my duty," I replied with a slight puff of the chest.
"You needn't lie," came the immediate response. My heart finally seemed to fall, my legs going numb as I anxiously awaited her next words. "I know you have never liked him, partially because of me. I know of your rivalry, and I've seen the looks you give him, when you think I cannot see."
I found that it was quite true that the higher an object was thrown, the more quickly it would come crashing down. My heart seemed to fall through my hooves as she continued, accompanied by a sniffle.
"But none of that matters now. I owe you everything . Thanks to you, my love will live on. You will always be like a brother to me. Perhaps, in another life, you would be more."
Cadenza leaned in, and planted a warm, gentle kiss upon my lips. The action was swift and sweet, with a taste akin to warm sugar. I had no time to react, no time to think , no time to pull her in and claim her as my own. Her words resonated within my skull as various sensations caused a tightening in my loins and numbing in my lips. Before I could even begin to process the event, it ended, as good things so often do.
"Thank you. You are truly a prince."
Cadenza said nothing more as she walked off down the hall, leaving me alone to my blank, conflicted thoughts.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"Because I goddamned ordered you to, that is why! " I bellowed, glaring down at the smaller, angered colt before me. Golden Sands stood inches away, his muzzle tilted nearly vertical to glare up into my eyes, his nose just about touching my own. I could feel the short, angered exhalation from his nostrils up against my face, and the sensation only served to anger me further. Ever since Cadenza's little interruption, I had been silent. I had been completely calm, cool, and perhaps, even somewhat satisfied as I walked into the office of the engineer before me. He offered me a hesitant greeting, and with that one, simple word, something inside of me simply snapped . Before I could stop myself, the shell of his smoke grenade was upon the ground, and subsequently crushed beneath my hoof. He began a tirade about expenses, time investment, and mocking him, but I wasn't listening. The only thing I could see in my mind's eye was her pregnant form, carrying the child of another stallion, as she trotted away from me, and the only thing I heard was 'I'm sorry'.
"I don't answer to you! You're a bully, and a posturing, entitled, arrogant..." his voice cracked, and the stallion, no, the colt began to tear up. Normally, earning tears from such a waste of life as him would have brought me great joy, but this time, I felt nothing at all but my previous anger. It was as though my chest was a tight, venom-filled membrane, and Golden Sands had stuck a needle into the surface with a simple 'hello'. The mission was the last thing on my mind, and I was prepared to keep pushing, simply to fuel my hatred even further. And so, I pushed. Literally.
Golden stumbled backward, his spindly legs seeming almost ready to snap as he tumbled to the floor and scraped his knee. His jaw was set in a hard line as he held his glare, trying not to cry over what I assumed was simply his broken gadget. The sight was quite honestly pathetic, which only served to spur me onward.
"Go ahead. Tell me exactly what you think of me, you little worm. Give me reason to break something else of yours. Give me your disrespect and bile, all of your tears, and limp back to that scrap-heap you call a workstation. You don't know what pain is ," I snarled, as my heart wrenched within my chest. This bout of anger was unlike any tantrum I had ever thrown, and certainly not a normal case of lashing out. I hurt , deep within my chest, in a way that I couldn't explain with any other word but love. Cadenza's taunting had been too direct, like a dagger to the chest, tipped in slowly-acting poison that had just begun to take hold. In all honesty, I somewhat felt like crying myself as I watched the little piss worm burst into tears on the ground below.
"You're all the same. You're just another, you're not special!" he yelled, weakly hitting his hoof against the ground. "Every day, something like this happens, just because you can all get away with it! Just because I'm not big, or I'm too feminine , or I'm not working quickly enough for you! The only ones who have been kind to me since I arrived are Shining and Celestia, and she should be ashamed to have a nephew like you Why are you even here!?."
For once, the words of a lesser caused me to stop in my tracks. Auntie's words echoed through my mind, breaking the veil of hatred and bitterness that had clouded my vision. It took a fraction of a second for the shame to set in, as I remembered exactly why I was there- not to get into that cave, at the bottom of the lake, or make Golden squirm. I was there to push forward on the path toward getting my dues, and earning the recognition I deserved as a revered prince of Canterlot. That would mean dealing with imbeciles like the sniveling mess merely feet from my hooves, and keeping the nasty, but often true rumors about me to a minimum. I knew exactly what Celestia would have said, had she seen this outburst. She had always had a firm, businesslike tone that could make me cower when I had done something stupid. She had always preached that it took a big stallion to admit that he was wrong, and an even bigger stallion to cry.
I was wrong, and Golden Sands was crying.
"...I'm sorry."
Golden opened his mouth to fire back with another scathing retort, only to pause and sniffle before trying once again. "...what?"
"I said , I am sorry . Can you not even listen?" My brows were furrowed, and an angry expression swept across my features as I trotted over and offered him a hoof, feeling absolutely disgusted with myself. I had assumed I was humiliated from stooping so low as to apologize to anypony , let alone him. The truth, however, was something that I would never have admitted.
"No, you're not. You're going to slap my hoof away, or call me a faggot again, or break something else, or..."
"I will if you don't take the hoof. This is your one chance. You asked a question, now let me answer," I commanded. It dawned on me that my harsh tone was probably somewhat less than reassuring, and so I heaved a sigh before wiping a lock of mane from my forehead. "...please."
Silently, I stood, and he knelt, for minutes on end. Our eyes locked once again, both sets of blue hues stuck in harsh glares, though the emotions hiding behind each were entirely different than they had been mere minutes before. After quite some time, as my foreleg began to get sore, Golden grasped my hoof and pulled himself to stand.
"...why?"
"You've already asked a question," I snapped, avoiding the inquiry. "I came here to ask for your help with a very important project, sanctioned by Celestia herself."
"And why would I help someone like you, especially after what you just did? Putting on a facade to get what you want won't work with me," Golden sniffled out as he wiped his eyes.
"You doubt the sincerity of a prince?" I snarled. It was purely self-defense, a desperate attempt to save face, that clearly didn't work. I'd have doubted too, if our positions were reversed. It became annoyingly clear that my words would need to reflect what I was feeling and thinking, and so, I decided to take the plunge into pleasantness. It was almost physically painful to do so. "You said 'we are all the same.' Who is 'we'? You are bullied, often?"
Golden's expression softened the tiniest bit as his eyes searched mine, moving back and forth as he looked for an answer that simply wasn't mine to give. "...I am. Daily, for the reasons I'd mentioned previously. I know you think I should just grow a spine, but it hurts , after a while. Being called useless, weak, and the like isn't pleasant. I would appreciate it if you'd stop."
And I would appreciate it if you did, in fact, grow a spine, I thought to myself. Despite that, I merely snorted, and offered a curt nod. "Fine. I"m sorry to hear that you're pushed around. If it continues, find me, and I will discipline the offenders."
His eyes shined briefly with hope, though he seemed to be holding himself back. "If this is all a ploy to get what you want, I'm leaving this castle. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep living like the carpet you all wipe your hooves on."
"It isn't. I need your services, but I'm trying to improve upon my image. In order to do that, I suppose I must stop stomping upon my lessers." It felt good to reconcile with the colt, but speaking the exact truth as to why I was doing it did nothing for my mood. If anything, it sank just a bit farther downward than it had been before. Did I really sound so condescending, even in a rare, intimate moment such as that one?
"Your lessers. That's all we are, is it?" Golden picked up the crushed and mangled shell of his grenade, looking heartbroken. "Simple, unworthy ponies for you to step on, because we're weak? Poor? Not like you?"
I heaved another sigh, looking off to the side at a wall of ornate clocks. No two were the same, and the sight succeeded in holding my attention away from Golden as I took the time to mull over my answer. A certain earth pony's smirk came to mind as I tried to be as honest as I could, without earning even more ire.
"...not all of you, no. I would prefer it if you made the list of those I see as an equal."
"Then reimburse me for the grenade," he began, "and work on your social skills. You sound like you hate me, even now."
"In some ways, I do, but not as much as I hate myself right now." The words had slipped out before I had time to control my speech, and I simply left the statement hanging, for him to interpret as he preferred. I wouldn't be doing the same, as the decryption was not something I wanted, by any means.
Golden retreated behind his desk, pulling a sheet of parchment from some compartment beneath the long, polished surface. He remained silent for a good while, presumably thinking about what I had said as I did anything but.
"What is it that you need? Why come to me for it?"
"Because your work ethic and skill are obvious, and this needs to remain secret. The fewer ponies with knowledge of what is going on, the better." I approached the long table, my expression softening just a bit. "I need to breathe underwater."
"I don't know the bubble spell. You've got the wrong unicorn," he replied, as he began to put his paper away. I quickly put a hoof on the corner to stop him from doing so, resulting in a minor struggle.
"No. I need some sort of apparatus, one that an earth pony could wear about the face. Can fish not breathe water, somehow? There must be a way to recreate their lungs, or mouths, or whatever it is that they use to survive."
"...gills, Blueblood. They're called gills," he replied incredulously, looking at me as though I was the biggest moron on the face of the planet. I really should have paid attention in school, though my grades were bought and sold long before I showed up to the classroom. Why should I have tried, if others would take care of it for me anyway?
"Yes, those. Mechanical gills. Is it possible? Is there a device that exists that would allow myself, and one or two others, to dive a distance of at least forty feet without drowning?" I lifted my hoof from the paper, watching his puzzled expression with genuine interest.
"Does it exist? No. Can I build it?" He hesitated, thinking the situation over before a grin crept across his face. "I can find a way. Check back in a week, and I'll have something for you." Golden nodded with a confident smile, the tears long gone, despite the dried trails beneath his eyes. The look didn't suit him, though the smile did.
"I'll be checking back before then," I stated as I turned and headed for the door.
"Don't bother. It won't be ready." The statement was accompanied by quick scribbling as Golden began to draft out a design, or take notes, or whatever it was he did first. I merely shook my head as I continued my gait.
"I don't care. I'll be coming by to pay you for the ruined grenade, and I believe after all the shit I just gave you, I owe you a drink," I finished as I reached the open door. The sound of scribbling stopped completely, and I could feel his eyes upon my back.
"...I would like that. Thank you."
I looked back over my shoulder before exiting and hastily speaking in a low tone that I almost hoped he wouldn't hear. "You're welcome."
It was absolutely incredible to me how much two simple words could make me feel like a massive, pathetic tool.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
I stood within a blue void, nothingness on all sides. Spinning in every direction did me no favors toward deducing my surroundings, though I did notice the peculiar fact that I was... floating . It was as though I was treading water in an endless, cyan sea, rotating and wondering just where I had managed to get to. I couldn't seem to remember anything before the event, bar bits and pieces of knowledge from the distant past. Was it a dream? It must have been. There was no other way...
"Prince," came a female voice, echoing off the nothingness and coming from all sides. The voice was a familiar one, and sent a cold shiver down my spine. I swallowed hard, once again spinning around to search for an answer. Unfortunately... I received one, little by little, as the pieces began to fall into place. It had to be a dream. It had to be a dream, for if it was not, I was about to die.
Slowly, the sickening, sweet aroma filled the air, turning the atmosphere around my body a light pink. A soft pink- Cadenza pink. A surge of anger flew through my chest as the audacity of this creature showed without restraint. How could they have dared to play my emotions against me, with accompaniment from such an alluring fragrance? The stench became overpowering, drawing me in and wrapping my body in swathes of its sweet promise, one of lust and ecstasy. I grew to love the sensation, and so, my anger subsided... until she showed up.
A black cloud of whirling mist appeared from beneath me, slowly rising as its magenta eyes flickered to life through the dark veil. The form was absolutely massive , much greater than it had been in our past encounters, and glared down at me with a predatory, hungry, hateful gaze. It was a dream. It was just a dream...
"Prince Blueblood. Vladimir, as you are called. You continue to struggle, continue to fight, in the name of a stallion you care nothing for. The stallion whose foal is to be born on this day, to the mewling whore after whom you've lusted for years," she spat, the black mist beginning to encompass all around us.
"To be born on this day? How could you possibly... what day is this, you wicked demon?" I inquired, trying to back away from the frightening spectre that had chosen me as her personal plaything. If this was a cruel trick on account of Auntie Luna, I would have her head . It would have made sense, what with invading my dreams, her shadowy form, and that familiar look of disgust. Not to mention... she had been right there, the first time this tormentor had made herself known to me. She would be getting a visit once I awoke.
"It is the day after you retired to bed. Do you not remember? After becoming so soft , so friendly with the tinkerer, you went about your pointless existence, only to fall asleep and dream of me ," the voice practically sang. Why would she so openly taunt me? If the event had indeed been a dream, then the entire threat was removed. I began to feel safe... for a moment.
"So I am still asleep."
"Oh, you're not asleep. You're merely entranced, and under my spell as you're being tended to by your favorite little minx," she replied with a fangy smile. Those teeth... they were long, deadly, dangerously curved, like those of a snake. I couldn't have thought of a sight more fitting.
"My... tended to? Cadenza? " I asked, hoping against hope. Whatever was occurring, it sent twinges of pleasure across my body, particularly to my little prince. As odd, freakish, and downright disturbing as this dream was getting... I began to enjoy it, and took another deep breath of the creature's bewitching scent. What did she know, and why was she sharing such knowledge so freely...?
"Perhaps, but that isn't important. While you're distracted, I have some information- we needn't be at odds. All you need to do is place Shining Armor in harm's way, and we would both benefit. You get what you desire, in a broken, desperate princess, and I progress one step farther down the road to what I need." The mist swirled through and past my body, forcing me to turn along with it. The movement wasn't voluntary... nor was the brick that had seemed to take up residence within my stomach. My mind raced at dangerous speeds, trying to find a motive, a reason... a decision. She did have a point- Shining Armor was progressively making my life worse with every breath he drew... but Celestia had a point as well, and one that I had already begun to pursue.
"What you need? And what, pray tell, is that?" I attempted to walk toward her, it, whatever this thing was, and found solid ground beneath my hooves... and an absolute throbbing in my most intimate parts. She was certainly correct... something was going on, within the waking world.
"Make Shining Armor vulnerable, and you'll see. It's that simple. I won't take no for an answer, prince," she spoke as the eyes moved down to the same level as mine. I witnessed my reflection within them, and saw a scared, confused colt, shuddering in pleasure as he tried to answer.
"I... oh, my..."
"Indeed. Perhaps this was a bad time to borrow your attention. Make your decision, before I make it for you," she sang, as the cloud began to float away from me. I gasped and pursued, running for all I was worth as I felt the blood throbbing through my legs, and other, nearby areas.
"Wait! I... c-can't simply..."
"And why can't you? Forget the words of that entitled swan, sitting atop her gilded throne. Pursue what you really desire, or meet death, face to face, sooner than you would ever expect." The apparition dissipated, leaving me alone in the pink, featureless void, to drown in the sourceless feelings of pleasure coursing through me. So much was on my mind, and so many questions were unanswered. I closed my eyes, trying to focus, but only able to fixate upon the sensations rippling through my lower body. As I opened them again, I found myself back in reality, reclining against a pillow upon my bed as I basked in the morning sun through the open curtains. Oh yes, she was definitely correct. I had found a partner for the night, and my heart soared as I wished that her words were true.
I let out a heavy, satisfied breath as I snaked my hoof downward to the rather large, bulbous lump bobbing up and down beneath the covers, performing its wonderful work. My hoof found a silky mane, and gently pushed down upon it, assisting the owner with their glorious efforts as I closed my eyes once again. How long had I been entranced? What mare had I invited back to my bedchambers this time? Could it truly be...?
"Oh, yes... yes, you are wonderful ," I cooed, shivering in anticipation of my oncoming release. Mere moments later, a gasp escaped me as I found myself unable to hold it in any longer, and tightly gripped my partner's mane, forcing her to dig deeper with that talented muzzle. No resistance was to be found, and the resulting rush of feeling nearly caused me to fall back as I cried out, giving her my all. The wet, warm sensation of a skilled tongue never once left me, until long after the deed was done. With heavy breaths, I finally laid back, letting my mane contact the pillow as I stared down at the pony who had made my night. Slowly, the covers lifted as a pair of dark green hooves rolled them back, to reveal the form of Moss, wearing the dirtiest grin I had ever seen as he began to climb up my chest.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"What in the nine burning hells did you just fucking do, you petulant, irritating, filthy, diminutive, whorish, asinine, moronic, evil little fucking scamp!? " I roared, pushing both hooves into my apparent partner's chest. Moss fell back onto my shrinking soldier with a playful laugh and amused grin, a bit of essence upon his cheek.
"I think we both know exactly what just happened. Not like ya stopped me, 'little' boy blue," he cooed, making a... rather accurate, if incredibly insulting aerial measurement gesture with his hooves. I would murder him then and there, I decided. The bodyguard would become a corpse guard, and possibly be used as a bludgeon forever after. The entire event was ludicrous- how had I allowed such a thing? How had that witch entranced me in a daydream to the point that I had allowed him to... to...
"Get off of me! ", I screamed, while kicking my hind legs to attempt to thrust the other stallion off the bed. He nimbly rolled to the side, letting my hind legs tangle within the blankets as my frustrations doubled. My heart was pounding, my loins ached, and I was absolutely furious . No pony, let alone him , would make a foal of me and get away with it!
"I'd rather get you off. Didja not notice the fact that I've been making eyes at ya since we started this little 'partnership'?" Moss inquired with a grin, while using his hoof to wipe his cheek clean. The licking that followed was so lewd, vulgar, and, unfortunately, arousing that I had to look away as a wave of confusion joined in with the sheer outrage of the matter. Never had I considered sleeping with another stallion, and had made my fair share of slurs against those within the castle that had been known to do such a thing. The entire act was vile, shameful, and far, far beneath me.
...was .
"You... get out. Get out of my chambers, take your filthy, stupid vest, and never show your face here again."
It was all I could come up with, as I brought a hoof up to my forehead and reclined against the headboard. While I stared down at the mess upon the sheets, the final moments of that entire scenario played again and again in my head, with a disturbing focus on just how good it had been. Had I never seen him, had I imagined it was indeed Cadenza... there would be no issue. The event would have gone down within my memories as one of the most pleasurable experiences I had ever had, and the rest of the day would have been incredible. Thinking upon those lines, though, brought rise to another train of thought- the deed was done . There was no going back, no second try, and no way to undo the events. I had been intimate with a stallion... and apparently encouraged him, if Moss was to be believed.
"Nope. Not leavin', and something tells me ya ain't about to physically force me, either." Moss stood beside the bed, his front legs crossed and his chin upturned, as though he was daring me to get up. I didn't acquiesce.
"...'nope.' You sweep into my life like some dirty, uninvited gale of perversion and ill intent, drag me out on adventures ," I punctuated the word with a sneer, "and then take advantage of an apparent stupor to move in and ruin my life ." I shifted and slumped out of bed, getting out on the side opposite the former street urchin. Thankfully, he kept his distance, and his cool. I, at the moment, was entirely unable to do such a thing.
"...dude. If a blowjob just ruined your life, ya really need to reconsider what matters." Moss once again destroyed one of the few pleasant aspects of himself at the moment as he walked around the bed to stand before me. He ran a hoof through his mane, before rolling his tongue piercing around in his mouth a bit, seemingly in thought. That piercing . It now made perfect sense why someone would do such a thing to their body...
"So yeah. Ya certainly enjoyed it. I sleep about 20 feet away anyway, the door was locked, and I ain't the type to go shout it from the mountain... unless, of course, ya kicked me out or something," he finished with a wicked grin. Once again, I began to contemplate just how feasible it would be to literally murder him without getting thrown in the dungeons. He didn't have any family, to my knowledge, and completely lacked friends, outside of... Cadenza. There went that idea.
"C'mon, man. Clearly, ya ain't as straight as ya thought ya were. Not to mention- name one other pony here, who isn't related to ya or married, who has been anything less than a total shithead to ya. Go ahead. I'll give ya time." Moss stuck that lovely tongue bar out, trapping it between his teeth as he waited. I thought, long and hard, for several minutes, only to draw a blank. The only answer that came to me was Golden Sands, but even then... it had been more out of convenience than anything else. Moss spoke again as I looked down to the floor, my anger slowly turning into a terrible mixture of guilt and confusion. Unfortunately... Creeping Moss, the bane of my existence, did indeed have a point, and was about to make another.
"...Vlad. That's your first name, yeah?" Moss reached down and took one of my forehooves. The urge to slap him was strong, but I simply couldn't find the will to actually follow through. Instead, I simply nodded, while beginning to feel sick. "Look. Listen. Yeah, I fuck around with ya, and I've been a bit of an ass at times."
"A bit of an ass at times? " I asked, finally finding my voice.
"So not the point. Now shut up, and lemme get this out. Have ya ever thought about why I bothered stickin' around, and shit? Sure, you're a massive dick, and don't have anything close to one, but there's more to ya. I dunno if anyone else has bothered to stop and look for it, but you're a fun guy, pretty cute, and ya have your moments of sweetness. That being said, I'm pretty damned sure ya hate the way people treat ya, and don't really understand how to change... but you're tryin', for Cadance, or some other reason. I dunno. Maybe your parents sucked, or ya were a spoiled brat, or whatever."
"...all of the above," I shamefully admitted, listening intently to his little rant.
"Don't matter. The point is- I saw something worth salvaging, and I'm tryin' to push ya in the right direction. Sure, I can get some shit out of it, too, and that's honestly my focus, but you're not so bad. I like bein' around ya." Moss smirked, finally letting my hoof drop. I kept it suspended before me, feeling... pretty decent, all things considered. His words, though far from eloquent, had been from the heart. Very few took the time to say things to me in such a way, and when they did, I tended to listen.
"So... what, exactly, are you saying? You want to stick around to be my self-help coach?"
"I'm sayin' I like ya. If ya wanna pretend you're not into stallions, that's fine... but I got a mouthful that said otherwise. If ya feel like hookin' up, or making it a casual thing behind closed doors, or whatever, I'm game." Moss blew a lock of hair from in front of his eyes, still completely calm. I would never understand how he could discuss something like that so casually, but it wasn't going to be the last time it occurred.
"...you wish to be 'mine', in some capacity, is what you're telling me. All of that obnoxious flirtation was genuine?" I blinked several times, trying to process the words coming from my own mouth. For once, I got the feeling that Moss wasn't simply jerking me around for his own amusement. I could sense the sincerity in his voice, and though it was flattering, in an unfamiliar and terrifying way. I still had so many questions about myself...
"Yeah, somethin' like that. I think I'm good for ya, and you're the first bit of stability I've had since I was a kid. What's there to lose? We could keep it quiet for a while, 'til you're comfortable admittin' ya like dick."
"...Moss. Do not refer to me in such a way."
"It's true."
"...shut up."
"Anyhow. So, whaddaya say? Trial run, big guy?" Moss extended a hoof, and simply waited for a response. Though he was usually a ball of obnoxious energy, he was quite good at standing still, to the point of being almost statuesque. I stared at the forelimb for quite some time, mulling over my thoughts again and again, wondering if I could truly allow myself such a thing...
...and then I kissed him.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
The kiss was broken as quickly as it began, I being both the one to initiate and terminate the display of affection. Well... in truth, it was more an experiment than an intimate moment, but had any outsiders been looking in, the move would have seemed very passionate. I spared no expense in the brief action, wanting to get a taste of him, purely to assist with figuring out just what I was feeling. As I pulled back, and saw the contented muzzle of another stallion before me, my natural reaction was a shiver. It felt wrong, incredibly wrong, to be pressing my lips to another of my own gender. That, I didn't like, I didn't quite understand, and quite honestly... I received no pleasure from such a kiss. That being said, to simply be appreciated ... to have someone who felt something close to actual, romantic affection, felt wonderful . For all the pleasure that I could take from various whores, none had filled the void that I had tried so desperately to patch over. Moss didn't quite fill it, either, but damn it, it was a start.
As a bonus- the physical pleasure from intimacy of certain sorts was undeniable, stallion or no. I supposed I could get used to it, so long as he kept his word, and this remained behind closed doors for a time. Upon gazing into his eyes, my own alight with a grateful sort of passion, I found only sincerity and a cool, reassuring calm within his own. It was so unlike him to take this leading role and try to shepherd me along, but on second thought... perhaps it wasn't. His constant jabs, prodding, and insults served much the same purpose- they merely spurred a different feeling within me. Maybe we were finally past the foalish insults, the dick-waving competitions, and the urges to undercut each other. If such a notion was true, though, I did hope that such things weren't over entirely. He did bring a bit of spice, even a bit of fun to my life with his constant, annoying presence.
"Oh, c'mon, put some feeling into it. That was lame as hell. What, two seconds is all I'm worth? If you're gonna lay it on me, Blue, lay it on me. " Moss snorted in indignation, clearly unimpressed with the quick kiss I'd offered. My immediate instinct was to lean back in and shut him up again, but... I had my data. My tentative answer. To tangle tongues, bend him over the bed, and dive right in to a complete lifestyle overhaul, while amusing, would have inevitably lead to regret. Moss had said he would be understanding and work with me, in regards to this incredibly odd turn of events. The time had come to either call his bluff, or see just how sincere he was about wanting me for who I was, instead of my body.
"You'll get more when more is due, ruffian." I upturned my nose, and lit my horn to adjust the now incredibly askew bow tie upon my lower neck. Things had indeed gotten a bit heavy and tangled throughout the course of the morning, and I'd need to head outside the room at some point during the day. "I accept your proposal, to become... partners , so long as you keep up your end of the bargain, and keep your trap shut outside this room."
"Yeah, yeah, I ain't retarded. Take your time, as long as I get the goods." The earth pony walked over toward the kitchen, withdrawing a cigarette from his vest, alongside a lighter. Any other day, I would have stopped him. That day, I had much more important things on my mind as I watched him light up. I couldn't imagine the taste of a stallion's essence, lips, and a cigarette would go well together, but I also couldn't have imagined myself in this position before that day. Apparently, I had much to learn about more than just relationships.
I cleared my throat, being as dignified as a stallion in my position could have been at that moment while I made my slow approach to join him within the kitchen. I took the time to walk into his line of sight and capture his eyes to stress the seriousness of what I had to say before speaking. "Moss... now, I know you find this all rather silly, but please, hear me out- I'm not entirely convinced of my bisexuality. It's going to take time for me to warm up to the idea, and your little exercise beneath the sheets may not happen again for quite some time. If we're doing this, we start slow. Understood?"
Moss' ears wilted a bit as he puffed on his cigarette, looking a bit like a child who had just been denied permission to go outside due to the possibility of rain. "Got it. I told ya why I'm in this thing, and I meant it. It ain't just about sex, Blue. That's a big part, since I haven't gotten much in the past two months, but yeah. Whatever ya need." He offered the cigarette, but I promptly waved it away. Crossing one line unexpectedly wasn't quite an excuse for me to begin crossing them all .
"Good." I paused, unsure if I should have said more. "...thank you."
As Moss opened his mouth to reply, a knock came at the door. I looked toward the wooden portal, then back to Moss, and once again at the door. I held up a hoof to my partner, signaling for him to hold but a moment as I moved to answer the summons, my trademark annoyed, condescending glare back in full effect as I swung open the barrier between myself and the ill-timed intruder.
"Yes? "
A white unicorn colt, barely out of his teens, stood wearing day guard armor and panting hard as though he'd just run laps around the castle. The terrified-looking pony rose his head, stammering out news that shocked me to the core.
"P-princess Cadance is giving birth! She requested you be by her side!"
My heart stopped for but a moment at the news, and a swell of joy rose up in my heart. She had requested me? Oh, the sweet irony...
"What of Shining Armor?"
"He's still bedridden, sir! She needs you, immediately!" the colt practically bellowed, drawing looks from others in the hall.
Moss approached the situation from behind me, making a classy interjection as always. "Take it I'm not invited to the twat-ogling ceremony?"
The guard merely stared at Moss, his mouth agape at the sheer disrespect on display. I had half a mind to cuff him upside the head for speaking of Cadenza's marehood in such a way, but then again, it was amusing, and I was about to go and get quite the eyeful of a mare... after entwining myself with a stallion. Part of me hoped that Moss wouldn't mind. The other part simply didn't care.
"N-no, you're... Prince Blueblood, please! "
"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" I quickly turned to Moss, who wore a neutral expression, and didn't seem particularly upset. "Keep the bed warm, you fiend." Both Moss and the guard raised an eyebrow, and it didn't take long for me to deduce just how bad the statement had sounded. "...or you shall be summarily whipped." Clearly, when to shut my mouth was another thing to add to the tally of skills that needed refining.
"...totally." Moss simply snickered and shook his head, before walking back inside as I sprinted out into the hallway, running as quickly as my legs would carry me.
I wasn't quite sure what I expected, as I arrived into the spawning ward, or whatever the damned section of the infirmary for pregnant mares was called, but it certainly wasn't what I found. Auntie Celestia and Auntie Luna both stood near to a rather large hospital bed, surrounded by only a small team of a single doctor and her assistant. Upon the bed lay the princess of love, her legs spread wide and assets on display for all to see as she cringed in quite obvious pain. I'd have been lying had I said I was looking at her face.
"Vladimir! You came! " Cadenza let out a stressed whimper, keeping only one eye open as she arched her back while sweating profusely. She had never looked more beautiful in that moment, though it would have been much improved if the foal had been mine . Regardless of the unfortunate addition to the world that I had arrived to witness, I quickly cantered over to the side of the princess, taking the hoof that she offered me.
"Of course I came. I wouldn't miss this event for the world," I lied. The only reasons, in order, that I had agreed to the summons were to gawk at Cadenza's marehood, have ammunition against Shining once he was out of bed, and to stay on the good side of the three princesses in the room. With Moss so generously offering himself to stand at my side... that last point's importance had somewhat began to wane.
Luna had her constant glare fixed upon me, her piercing eyes almost laying a cloak of ice upon my shoulders as I rubbed at Cadenza's hoof. It was as though she knew of my intentions... and for all I could tell, perhaps she did. After all, the walking freakshow could see into dreams, and my dreams about Cadenza were anything but innocent. I returned her glare with an equal amount of venom, trying to convey the fact that I knew her secret. Of course she was already there- she had been the one to tell me that the birth would take place on that day. It had to be her. There was no other possibility. After I narrowed my eyes, Luna looked away, instead casting her focus to the ground. I had won, and would be confronting her soon enough about her activities.
Auntie Celestia, in contrast, was busy conversing with the doctor, who had taken position at my favorite spot in the room. She was leaned over Cadenza's hindquarters, using light from her horn to assess what was assuredly about to become a messy situation.
"Doctor, how is she? Are there any signs of complications?" Celestia briefly glanced to me and offered a nod, along with a small smile. I returned the gesture while tucking a lock of hair behind my ear, wondering just what was going through her mind at the moment.
"No, none at all. A few more contractions, and this may be a rather smooth delivery. Most pony births are." The professional moved from her position, rubbing lightly at one of Cadenza's hind legs and earning a groan for her efforts. "We are a lucky species indeed."
"Mmm... Vladimir, are you quite alright, being amongst so much estrogen?" Celestia joked. Somehow, I had a feeling that my perverted grin wasn't quite the response she was looking for, but I couldn't fight it down. Today had most certainly been a good day thus far.
"I am well, thank you. Simply here for my closest friend, as any respectable stallion would be."
Celestia nodded. Luna scoffed. Cadenza yelled something involving a racial slur against zebras, decapitation of garden ornaments, a litany of curses, a few of which I didn't know the meaning of, and then, it was done. A small, slimy, pink body slid from her loins, into the doctor's waiting hooves. Cadenza let out another scream of pain, and my stomach turned at the sight of the small creature. It was most definitely a pegasus, soft creme in color, and sporting the beginnings of a light teal mane. The obvious color combination put me off, and so, I looked away and down to the object of my desire as the foal was whisked away to be washed.
"Are you alright, my dear?"
"I... I'll be fine... Shining..."
"He isn't here," I reminded her. "Focus upon yourself, and your lovely new...?"
"It's a filly!" the nurse cooed from the sink, after which a high pitched cry rang through the room. I nodded, and watched as Celestia trotted over to the worker with an overjoyed look upon her face. Luna looked as though her bulbous ass had been nailed to the floor... and, interestingly enough, slightly sick.
"Your new filly. Do you have a name for her?" I asked, squeezing Cadenza's hoof.
"N-no... Shining and I never got to discuss... and then he..."
"Save your breath," I whispered. "Simply name her after me, but feminize it. Vivian, perhaps. It's the only sensible option."
Cadenza smiled weakly. I wasn't joking, and took the response as a bit of an insult. However, her face lit up fully as the small bundle of feathers and fur, swaddled within in a purple blanket, was passed down into her open hooves by the nurse. The alicorn gently rocked her child, and I watched, somewhat humbled. Never before had I seen such a display of pure, unfiltered love.
"She's beautiful. She's everything I ever wanted."
As I noticed that my hoof was then empty, I couldn't help but think the same.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Guilt, Gallantry, and Guile
"She's... beautiful..." Shining Armor choked out, as I handed him his baby girl. It was days after the birth, when the idiot finally felt up to seeing his daughter. The unicorn had been sedated up until that moment, pumped full of anesthetics to help calm the incredible pain he must have been in. As he took the foal in his hooves, I couldn't help but feel a slight softening within my heart. The sight was absolutely adorable... but it was still Shining Armor . A Shining Armor moved to tears as he nuzzled his firstborn, after thanking me once again. I wasn't entirely convinced that it was possible to be more confused about something than my sexuality, in regards to Moss, but in that moment, everything changed. I couldn't bear the tension, the one-sided rage, or the bile that rose in my throat every time I was in the same room as him any longer. Something had to give.
"...I hate you."
Shining blinked, moving his gaze from the mewling filly over to me, instead. Normally, I'd have loved being the center of attention. I'd have loved to see his shocked expression, his mouth agape as he tried to find the words to retort. Instead, I got something else entirely. The arrogant, perfect little Duke merely nodded, unfazed, his expression barely a subtle grimace. Shining's voice came out in a distorted, tired tone, slightly muffled and altered by the puffy patch of out-of-place skin covering his decimated cheek.
"...I know. I'm sorry."
He knew . All this time, he had known... and I, in contrast, had been clueless. "You know? You cannot possibly understand. I highly doubt you could venture a guess as to w-"
"You hate me, because of your jealousy. You hate me because I've worked hard all of my life to garner respect, earned it, and I'm," he stopped to wipe a bit of drool from the corner of his mouth, unused to talking so much with that awful skin graft, "I'm publicly loved. You want Cadie for yourself. You're jealous of the affection I get from Celestia, and occasionally, even Luna. You hate the fact that I'm only a Duke, and a former commoner, but you're a Prince in title only, and have none of the privileges or respect that would normally be afforded to you. You hate me, because I'm your opposite. What you wish you were." Shining again stopped to wipe up a bit of drool, and that was when it occurred to me just how odd his words had been.
He was right. He was dead on, about everything . Shining Armor, whom I considered to be my greatest foil, had read me like a book, and apparently known all of this for a while . Despite all of that horrifying, embarrassing information, and all of the uncomfortable truths and assumptions that came with it... there was no malice in his tone. There was no arrogance, and not a single accusatory inflection in his voice. It wasn't a crucifixion with words, as it would have been had I been delivering the same soul-crushing speech to another. It was merely a statement of fact, and it wasn't yet over.
"That being said... I respect you. I respect you a lot, and I think that, deep down, you're," another pause to slurp in a most undignified manner, "a good stallion. You're on the level that the public holds me to. My equal, my savior... my brother."
"Bullshit. That is utter bullshit, you nonce. Do not get sweet with me, and attempt to lure me out of my emotions in order to m-" as I stood, trying to be overbearing and loom above Shining's form, he reached up his free hoof and placed it against my mouth, silencing me immediately. Any other would have had their hoof slapped away, and their face slapped with double the force, but Shining had me fixed with such a glare that I felt paralyzed. He paused to stroke his daughter's mane as he lowered the hoof, before his tone took a serious edge.
"Listen to me, Blueblood. I'm being sincere. You saved my life, despite the fact that you've hated me for years . Yes, you've been a dick in day-to-day life, often, but when it counted, when it really mattered , you did the right thing. Not many men can say the same, with any certainty or honesty. Not only that, but I've spoken to Celestia. I know what you're trying to do, who you're trying to become, and I can see what she sees. I know you're worth it. Not even worth 'fixing', as some might say, but worth caring for. You need people close to you, to help you grow out of the corner you backed yourself into. I want to be that guy. I want to be one of those there for you, to help you progress and become what you want to be. I owe you that much, at the very least. You can hate me, you can be envious... I don't care. I still want to be your ally," Shining finished, surprisingly without drooling, though he did have to stop and flex his jaw after his words. He appeared to be in quite a bit of pain, but still, he had talked on, wanting to get the words out. It was nothing short of a miracle that upon hearing what he had to say... I didn't feel like shit. I felt inspired . Thus was the power of a true leader, one who had reached my heart on a level that even Celestia could not.
"...I do not know what to say." At a total loss, I decided to be honest. I had accepted the information, but it was as though I couldn't process it. Not yet. Perhaps I simply didn't want to, knowing that acknowledging what I felt beneath the surface would force yet another huge paradigm shift within my life, my perspective... everything. To have first a potential lover, and now a potential brother ... and both had approached me first, out of earnest desire. It was terrifying how quickly the rewards of my efforts were coming, and how unexpected and more important than my intended outcomes those rewards truly were. Despite myself... I smiled.
"Then don't say anything, other than whether or not you accept it. Bros?" Shining offered me his free hoof, the other swaddling his daughter like he was a professional father for a living. I chuckled at his ridiculous, unsophisticated, basic, colloquial stupidity, before taking the hoof with a nod.
"...'bros', indeed. I still hate you."
"Good. Gives you something to work toward." Shining smiled, again wiping his cheek. Perhaps, for the holidays, I'd get him a strap-on saliva tray. It would certainly improve his looks.
"Shining... before I go, I have some information for you." I took a deep breath, deciding to bring him in to the little plan. If he and I were truly going to reconcile in some capacity... he deserved to know, if not be a part of our efforts. That wicked bitch had nearly cost him his life, and was clearly still intent on making an attempt against the stallion that was now my oath brother. I intended to stop her, at all costs.
Well, perhaps not all costs. My life still came first, after all.
"Lay it on me." Shining shifted a bit to sit up in bed, all of his attention focused upon my words.
"Well. Creeping Moss and I intend to hunt for more of this Bloodlet Moss nonsense, the weapon that was used against you, so that we might use it to our advantage, or at the very least, develop some sort of defensive measure against the stuff. Moss, our Moss, knows where such things tend to grow, and he has informed me that the most likely location to find the substance, and quite possibly, the lair of the creature that did this to you, is in a cave beneath a nearby lake in the forest. Do you know Golden Sands, the resident inventor?"
"I do. Good kid. He's a little naive, but fun to hang out with," Shining replied.
"You would 'hang out' with him. In any case... he's working on a device, I believe he called it a 'rebreather', that will allow Moss and I to dive for the cave entrance without running out of air. We'll have an extra device, if you catch my drift. We plan to leave tomorrow."
My hope and intention was fulfilled immediately as Shining looked up at me, a silent fire blazing behind his normally calm azure hues. The stallion's jaw was set in a rigid line, and he'd been hanging on my every word. He spoke in almost a growl, and his reply was exactly what I had wanted to hear.
"...can you wait a few days? I want in."
I smiled a wicked smile, my gambit having worked. It was no secret that Shining was a far better mage than I, and his skill with defensive magic was practically unmatched within Canterlot, or perhaps, Equestria itself. To have him there would bring a much greater level of safety to our little party, and in the event that the mist demon decided to show her face, we would have a fighting chance. There was no way I would give him the kill if she did, whether he deserved it or not. That matter had become very personal. However... I did want him to accompany us, and so, I agreed.
"Very well. I'll afford you some more beauty sleep, and time with your daughter before we set out. Do you have any ideas for a name? Cadenza said that the two of you hadn't discussed the matter." I lifted a small letter, one from Golden Sands, about his plans for the device. As I began to look the schematics over, Shining surprised me once again.
"...do you?"
I paused, looking up over the sheet of paper to lock eyes with him. "Excuse me?"
"You saved my life. Without your intervention... I wouldn't have lived to see her. I want my suggestion to Cadie to be from you, in your honor." Shining shifted the little foal, gazing lovingly at his spawn. She was, indeed, quite adorable.
"...Vivian. I would suggest Vivian."
Shining didn't mock me, unlike his wife. He merely nodded, before coughing a bit. "I like it. I'll toss the idea at her, see what she thinks."
"...thank you. Enjoy your time as a layabout. Soon, we'll have work to do. I'm going to go and see the apparatuses in person, before we entrust our lungs to that sniveling foal." I turned on my hooves, and headed for the door.
"Cool. See you soon, bro."
My ear flicked in response, as I heaved a heavy sigh while passing through the doorway. "Yes, see you soon..."
I sincerely hoped that walking this path was the right decision, that I hadn't resigned myself to the road of an even greater coward. It wouldn't be long at all before I found out exactly what I'd signed on for.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
I whipped my head back as I felt my throat begin to fill with water, violently breaking the surface while spitting the liquid that had tried to murder me up into the air in a haphazard spray. I breathed in, feeling much better as the sweet oxygen found its way to my lungs, and then quite a bit worse as I began to cough violently, forehooves gripping the sides of the fish tank before me. I heaved and hacked, the ridiculous-looking mask-like device strapped onto my face and clinging tightly to my sopping mane.
"...congratulations, you're a complete idiot."
I glared daggers at the saffron pony standing next to me, shaking his head as his silver mane bounced about. He put a hoof to his forehead with an exasperated sigh as he began to clap me upon the back to aid in my efforts at clearing my lungs, the red she-bitch on my other side howling with laughter. Oh, how I longed to murder them both and string their corpses up outside my room.
"He's right. Didn't you see the other thingy he was holding?" Willow asked as she regained her composure, at least somewhat. I shook my head, sputtering out another series of coughs as I tried to reply. I reached for her neck, only to watch the bothersome twat casually step out of the way. "Yeah, well, that isn't the whole thing, dumbass. Pay attention."
Golden allowed himself another sigh, walking around the table and lifting my chin with a hoof, a look of genuine concern upon his face. "Hey. Blueblood. You okay?"
I looked up at him, struggling to see through the droplets clinging to my goggles as I removed the mouthpiece, letting the apparatus hang down around my neck. A few more deep breaths later, and I was finally able to reply.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I... got excited."
"Wow. I thought that only happened when Cadenza bent over," Willow taunted from her somewhat safe position several feet to my left.
"You shut your arrogant, whorish mouth! The only thing it's good for is su-"
"Yeah, pretty much. At least I'm good at it. Got more skills than you do," she replied while twirling her claymore. Had she not been armored, I swore I would have taken the blade and rammed it so far up her ass that I'd have been able to spit roast her with her own flames.
"Silence!"
"Both of you, just... just stop!" Golden snorted, looking incredibly annoyed that his spotlight had been stolen by both mine and Willow's collective idiocy. I whipped my sopping mane to one side, refocusing my attention upon the insecure inventor as he held up what looked to be a long, metal cylinder.
"This is your oxygen tank. Without it, the mask is useless, and it'll fill with water immediately. We need to attach the two via that hose. You know, the one that you put in the water before going under, " he added with a sigh.
"And how was I to know!? I am not a scientist, it was your job to explain the concept before I tested your stupid machine!" I bellowed, immediately regretting my choice of words.
"Stupid machine? " Golden asked, with a scandalized look.
"Oooooooooooooooooooh shit, son! "
"You stay out of this! " I cast a persecuting hoof in Willow's direction, desperately trying to retread ground and win Golden back to my side as his ears began to wilt. I adopted my newly-constructed and still in progress look of genuine concern, leaning down to his level and changing my tone of voice to a softer, apologetic one. The notion was almost beginning to feel genuine, scarily enough.
"Golden, I am sorry. I got a bit worked up, from almost drowning,"
"Like a complete fucking moron," Willow chimed in.
My eye twitched, but I otherwise managed to keep my composure. "Your machine isn't stupid. Assuming it works, it's a wonderful scientific breakthrough, and one we need." Golden smiled just a bit, but almost didn't look convinced. It seemed that the damage done was lingering with him, if not irreversible beyond a certain point. Lesson learned.
"...thanks. Here, I'll hook you up." The smaller unicorn began attaching hoses and checking nozzles as I stood quite still, trying a zen breathing technique that Cadenza had taught me some time ago. The stupid process never worked, and I had the urge to add a 'fucking ' before each number I recited in my head, but at least I tried. Golden finished his work, and stood at my side holding the tank in his forelegs, to which I gave a quizzical look.
"No sense putting the whole belt and harness on to let you dive in a fish tank. I can carry it, at least for this little trial," he said with a smile.
"You sure, small fry? I can just put it on my back or whatever if it's too heavy," Willow offered as she walked closer.
"Yes, Golden, that might be a better idea. Let her carry the weight with her rippling, ugly He-Mare muscles."
I wasn't quite ready to begin the test, but fortunately, I managed to put the mouthpiece back in its proper place before Willow gripped my mane and shoved my face down beneath the surface of the water. I tried to scream, only to blow bubbles instead as I realized that I was, indeed, underwater. Against all common sense, I tried to suck in a breath, and... it worked . Cool, crisp oxygen flooded into my mouth and lungs, allowing me remain underwater without fear. I blinked several times, moving my head this way and that as I looked out at the distorted version of Golden's lab that had become visible through the water and glass walls surrounding me. The faces of the various clocks seemed to bend as bubbles moved up past my face, and I allowed myself a smile. The sensation, the idea of it alone, was incredible . This unicorn was a bona fide genius.
I surfaced mere seconds later, immediately popping the apparatus out of my mouth and removing my goggles with a charming smile. "It works! It actually works!"
"Don't sound so surprised," Golden spoke in a low tone, with a smile of his own and a raised brow. He looked incredibly smug, and all I could really think at that point was 'good for him.' He certainly deserved the satisfaction for a job well done.
"Alright, cool. My turn!" Willow unceremoniously dropped her claymore to the floor, resulting in a loud clatter that caused both me, and the only other life form above the intelligence of a smile mold within the room to jump in surprise. More quickly than Golden could stop her, Willow had placed one of the remaining rebreathers upon her face, hooked up an oxygen tank, and quite literally jumped upon the small table between us before thrusting her head into the water. Upon hearing her garbled cry of something close to "I'm a pretty fishy! ", I knew that I had long since overstayed my tolerance for the laboratory, and so, began to make way to the door as the crimson idiot made completely unnecessary swimming motions while partially submerged.
"Thank you again, Golden. What do I owe you for the set of three?" I asked, leaning into the door frame.
"Nothing. Work for royals is free," he answered with a smile. Not one to question such things, I merely gave him a small salute before slipping out into the hall. My mind wandered to the events to come as I worked my way through the corridors of the castle, eventually making my way back up the stairs and toward my room. Conveniently enough, a large, dark blue figure was waiting just outside my door, a cold, hard look in her eyes as she glared down at me. I approached without fear, my jaw set and mouth in a thin line.
"...I need to get to my room. Move ."
Luna narrowed her eyes further, looking as though she wished to stomp me into the carpet then and there. "No. Sister has told me of what you, Shining, and the commoner intend to do tomorrow."
"Oh?" I asked, tilting my head. "And do you intend to stop us from discovering your little secret?"
"Little secret? Just what are you accusing me of?" Luna flared her wings, looking both displeased and a bit confused.
"You know very well. I'll find evidence, one way or another. Stay away from Cadenza." I pushed past my smaller, darker aunt, and put my hoof upon the handle of the door before I found her own hoof atop mine, in a death grip. She lowered her face directly next to mine, and I could feel her icy breath against my neck. The resulting chill brought a fierceness and accusatory tone to her next words, and my eyes widened as that sickly sweet, familiar scent began to flood the hallway as Luna's eyes darkened.
"...I do not know what you are implying, nephew , but I came here to wish you luck in your endeavors. May you find what you are looking for." Luna released her grip, but the scent still lingered. I found that, as she turned away from me, her expression dark, that I was terrified . It was her. Auntie Celestia would never have believed me, and to bring changelings into the palace...?
I had no other choice. I had to find something incriminating within the cave. Shining Armor would be able to help. He was always in control within times of crisis, and I could fill him in when we met up in the morning. I pushed open the door to my room as the scent finally began to fade, only to find Moss sitting upon my bed... clad in a very tiny thong.
"You idiot! " I whispered in a harsh tone, slamming the door behind myself as quickly as I could, and praying that no one had seen. Moss merely chuckled, clutching a pillow in his forehooves as he swished his tail, guiding my eyes to exactly where he wanted them.
"Oh, calm your tits, Big Blue. Everything good to go?"
"Yes, I... the devices work like a charm. We'll be able to get to the cave, and back to the surface later without issue." I stared at his flank, somewhat entranced by the twitching tail and movements of his hips.
"Cool. Tomorrow's a bit of a big deal, y'know. I'm a little nervous. Are you?" Moss looked up at me as I climbed onto the bed, standing over the smaller stallion as he rested upon his back. I cast my eyes over his body, taking in the slender, but rigid muscles that ran down his sculpted form. He was an attractive pony, despite his messy shock of hair and bad teeth...
"...somewhat. You and Shining will keep me safe, though. I know it."
"And you'll be there for me and him, too. I know. It's no biggie. I trust ya," he replied with a smirk, before leaning up and wrapping his hoof around the back of my neck and pulling me into a kiss. I returned the gesture, though my mind could only linger upon Luna's words and the incriminating evidence of her defection. Deep within my stomach, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go horribly wrong, down in those caves...
"Thank you. Are you... yearning for something, Moss?" I arched my brow, looking downward as he rubbed my shoulder.
"Hey- there's a small chance we might not make it back tomorrow. Why not have some fun tonight? It's been cool so far, right?"
I merely nodded, using a hoof to roll down the side of his thong before gazing upon my prize for the night. The idea felt so odd... but there was nothing left to lose. I still wasn't entirely comfortable with the entire concept, but he had at least won the right to experimentation.
"...right. Thank you."
I took my position as we kissed again, using my horn to dim the lights as I claimed my partner, his hind legs wrapping around my back while we spent the night together in an embrace of passion.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"You are sure the cave is down there?"
I squinted at the surface of the water, standing at the edge of our destination in the morning sun. At my sides were Moss and Shining, both wearing oxygen tanks affixed to harnesses, their rebreathers hanging loosely around their necks and goggles upon their foreheads. Moss' tank looked bigger than him, and I was somewhat concerned that he wouldn't be able to carry the weight of the metal cylinder once we got underwater. Shining, in contrast, was almost comically big compared to his tank, and looked as though he could suck down the contents in a singular breath. He, too, stared down into the water, his puffy, sewn cheek somewhat healed over, though still obviously unnatural. I really did feel for him, seeing him out of bed and with a small amount of his muscle mass missing. The sight was somewhat sad.
"Yeah. What, ya don't believe me? If the sunlight hits the water juuuuuuuuuust right, ya can see straight to the bottom of the lake, and there's definitely a cave, in the side of the mountain." Moss pointed to the large, sheer cliff face before us that made up a chunk of the mountain's base, an impossibly tall monument of stone and plant life reaching up into the sky. Shining nodded, walking along the water's edge before dipping a hoof in and pulling back to shiver.
"He's right. I looked into what little info we have on the area, and there's documentation of a cave system below these mountains. It'd make sense for an entrance to be underwater. Water's a good 50 feet out in the middle, so there's no full confirmation, but... it's all we've got to go on."
"If you're sure, sweetie. You three are more than capable." Cadenza walked forward from behind us, her foal clutched tightly to her chest in some sort of harness. She gave me a warm smile, before nuzzling Shining and receiving a kiss for her efforts.
"Vivian's not up yet?" he asked, and a small feeling of pride swelled up in my chest. He had kept his word, after all.
"No, she's been asleep all morning. Thank you so much, Aunt Luna. Her screaming at night was getting out of hand." Cadenza turned to the taller alicorn beside her, who offered only a curt nod. The Princess of the Night and I locked eyes, the tension between us thick enough to smother somepony. Why she had insisted upon coming, I would never know... and the lack of Celestia at her side was not exactly reassuring. I had warned Cadenza of my suspicions before we set out, but she refused to hear a word of it, confident that Luna would do no such thing to us. I was not one for prayer, but I may have said something along the lines to myself that willed her to be correct.
"Shame." Shining leaned in and kiss Vivian's forehead, before taking the lead, with Moss at his rear. I followed last, giving a silent nod to Cadenza before I went.
"Good luck!" she called from the shore, where both alicorns waved to us. I looked back with a smile, somewhat disappointed that the pair had turned and already begun walking back toward the palace. I wished that I could have watched her make it home, just to be sure...
"So, Vlad. When'd you learn to swim, anyhow?"
I opened my mouth to answer, but was beaten to the punch by the World's Most Obnoxious Stallion.
"About a month and a half ago. Bought himself some floaties and spent a couple days in the pool in the East wing. Made me swear not to tell anyone." Moss allowed himself a wry grin, leaning quite close to my face. "Oops. "
I simply sighed as Shining laughed, and Moss... pulled out a cigarette.
"...are you seriously smoking while wading into a lake? "
"Well yeah. Twenty bits says I can hit the filter before we have to dive." Moss brought the stick to his lips, before asking Shining for a light. The larger unicorn acquiesced, and I gave myself a very wet facehoof. Wonders never ceased.
"Man, I missed that smell," Shining said as he began to tread water. I soon followed, beginning a basic doggy paddle while Moss fought tooth and nail to keep his neck up and the smoke trail billowing while he swam.
"You used to smoke?" I asked.
"Yeah, I did. Not exactly proud of it, but it's the truth. Cadie made me quit. Thought it was absolutely nasty." Shining cracked his neck, maintaining his position at the head of the pack as we made our way closer and closer to the cliff.
"Well... it is. Very much so. I never would've guessed someone like you would have such a filthy habit."
"Yeah, well... there's a lot you don't know about me. Maybe I'll fill you in once we get back, over a beer. You too, kid." Shining turned to watch Moss struggle, until the small earth pony dropped the cigarette from his mouth, the little stick falling down into the dark blue water.
"Fuck! "
"Twenty bits," I chimed.
"Hey, you never took the bet! That was the only one I brought..." he mumbled, looking crestfallen.
"I'm sure, that with you skill set, you'll find something to put in your mouth upon our return home," I replied, trying to lift his spirits. It certainly worked, though I had a sinking feeling that Shining may have caught my meaning as he shook his head.
"Look alive, fillies. Cliffs just up ahead." The large unicorn paddled his way up to the rocky surface, bracing a hoof against the stone as we reached the end of the journey. "Alright. I'm gonna dive, see if I can find the thing. No sense in all of us going down at once, if we have no clue what we're dealing with. I don't find it, you're up next, Vlad." I slowly nodded, hoping against hope that Shining would find the entrance. He pulled on his goggles and rebreather, gave us a nod, and slipped beneath the surface of the water.
Minutes passed. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Moss and I waited, the two of us looking for some sign of life below us as tensions mounted. I took a deep breath, and let out a small whimper against my better judgment. Moss most certainly noticed.
"...hey. He's fine. Golden said those tanks'd hold an hour's worth of air, if not more. Ya trust him, don't ya?"
"I do, but... he's all alone down there. I don't know if I'll be able t-"
My statement was interrupted by a shrill, piercing scream, coming from my own mouth. Shining had surfaced just in front of me, bringing up a spout of water with him as he did so, a shocked look upon his face as I clasped a hoof over mine.
"...dear god, man. I think your testicles just reascended."
"Nah. I can see 'em from here," Moss helpfully added.
"Why would you... oh, never mind, of course you're looking. Any luck?" I asked, utterly relieved to see my 'bro' once again.
"Didn't need luck. The water's only about 20 feet deep here, and the entrance is huge . As long as we dive right around... here," he said, lighting his horn to scour a large 'X' in the cliff's surface, "you guys can find it with no problem. I took the liberty of heading on in, and the place isn't flooded. There's a pretty long tunnel that goes back up above the water's surface. Looks like there's a shelf at the top that leads further in. It's definitely pony made."
There it was again. That leaden, crippling sensation of fear took hold of me, and I found myself doubting whether or not this idea was at all sound. There was only one thing to do.
"Let us make haste, before I back out. I will, if we stall for too long." I slipped the apparatus into my muzzle, before pulling down my goggles and watching Moss do the same. With a round of silent nods, we slipped below the surface of the water.
Down in the deep, the situation was just as Shining had said. Due to the rising sun, the water was a much lighter blue than it had been for the duration of our swim to the cliff face, and the three of us made it quite a distance downward on our initial kicks. I stuck quite close to the cliff's wall, using the smooth stone as a guide to prevent myself from being disoriented. Shining stayed close to me, while Moss, who was a much more agile swimmer than I'd imagined, took the lead, headed straight for a gaping hole within the rock, quite easily the width of five ponies standing rump to snout. My partner slipped inside the rock and began to swim upward, just as Shining and I pulled ourselves under and into the cave.
The vertical climb inside was exhausting, but I managed the feat by staying at Shining's side and looking upward at Moss as he lead the way. Moss surfaced first, and immediately pulled himself over the rock wall and onto the wide shelf. I followed, as did Shining, and pulled off my goggles and rebreather to get a look around as quickly as I could. The shelf turned into a gentle slope, heading down into a massive , unnatural chamber, filled with nothing but rock.
"...what is this place?" I asked, not expecting an answer.
"Your second big adventure, apparently," Shining replied while clapping me on the shoulder, his own equipment removed.
"Ugh, god, this shit is heavy!" Moss whined, immediately undoing his harness and letting it drop to the floor of the shelf. "I'm leaving my tank here."
"What if we need to exit on the other side?" I reminded him.
"Other side's probably out in the mountains. Won't need an oxygen tank... but I'll keep the kinky mask, for now." Moss shuffled out of his soaked vest, leaving it beside his discarded tank to dry as the three of us continued to survey the area.
Shining squinted, and was the first to begin stepping down the gentle slope toward the other side of the room. "Looks like there's a tunnel over there. I'm not seein' any of this Bloodlet stuff you guys were talking about, so that might be our best bet."
Moss gestured toward the opening, dipping into a polite bow. "Lead on."
Shining did exactly that, breaking into a canter as he headed for, and subsequently, slipped into, the low tunnel, having to duck his head down a bit to fit. Moss followed directly behind his flank, to everything but my surprise, and I brought up the rear, whining slightly as I struggled to fit.
"As if this couldn't get any more undignified. I'm soaked and cramped!"
"If I had a bit for every time someone said that to me..."
"The two of you, cool it. I see something ahead!"
Our leader emerged into yet another wide chamber, the ground floor of which was coated with a thin, green goo in various places. Shining's face hardened as he leaned down to sniff the substance, and took a deep breath. "...I know this. Changelings ."
"I'm out," I said immediately. "I'm done. I am not walking directly into a changeling hive, in pursuit of a few clumps of moss. This is not happening."
Moss whirled on me, uncharacteristically angry as he walked straight up to my chest, his face alight with fury. "You pussy! You faced down a chimera, talked a good game about fixing this bullshit situation, we probably just found the source of the problem, and now you're out? What the hell's gotten into you!?"
"Whoa, kid, lay off!" Shining rushed to my defense, putting his hoof upon Moss' shoulder. "If he wants out, let him go. I'm going farther in, and we're going to settle this. Are you in?"
"You're god damned right I'm in," Moss snorted while whirling around and heading for one of two tunnels at the opposite end of the room. I sputtered as Shining turned as well, and desperately held out a hoof.
"Wait! "
The pair turned, Moss looking impatient, and Shining, sympathetic. How I wished I'd brought my rapier.
"...I'm sorry. I'm not letting you two do this alone."
I puffed out my chest and chose a tunnel, the one on the right, before forcing myself to proceed onward. My two companions followed at my rear, the amount of light dimming as we walked farther until it got to the point that I lit my horn for simple visibility's sake.
"...there's a light up ahead," I warned the pair. A good twenty feet past me, a ray of sunlight filtered into the next chamber through a crack in the rocks.
"Keep moving forward, Vlad, you're doing great," Shining reassured me. As I stepped out into the room, Shining lit his horn as well, making a small, bulbous area of light around our party as we spun in all directions, surveying the area.
"I don't understand... this place is complete empty. There's no slime, or... whatever that was. It seems like a dead end." I swung my horn this way and that, finding that the chamber was about the size of two palace bedrooms fused together, much smaller than the last cavern we had entered.
"Yeah, well... caves are funny like that. Full of twists and turns, tunnels and caverns. I've seen my fair share of 'em. Huh, that's interesting," he stated, as he trotted toward a decent sized slab of rock. He knelt low and made a show of trying to pick it up, the chunk far too heavy. "This type of granite ain't normally around these parts."
"Is that a sign? Do changelings use granite, or something?" Shining asked, taking a cursory glance at the slab before walking past Moss and back toward the tunnel we had emerged through.
"...on occasion," Moss answered with a grin. Time seemed to slow as the events played out in front of me, the cone of light from my horn just barely affording me a view of what was going on. An out of place, but incredibly familiar purple glow swept over Moss' eyes as he stood upon his hind legs, the slab of granite flying upward in a magical aura of the same color. Moss gripped the edges as Shining turned toward him, and smacked the taller unicorn across the back of the head with the chunk of stone. Shining went down instantly, bleeding badly as Moss dropped his weapon and turned toward me with a hiss.
"What the fuck are you doing!? " I cried, horrified. My legs froze up momentarily, before I began to back away, looking for something, anything to help me out of the situation. Moss stood, unmoving, as he seemed to grow taller in the fading light, deadly fangs poking down and past his lower lips. Without warning, he disappeared completely, his rebreather fell to the floor, and my heart stopped.
There was no sound. No movement, even in my chest. I had forgotten how to breathe, how to make my lungs expand and contract, until my gaze once again traveled to the fallen soldier on the ground, his outline at the edge of my vision. I panicked, debating between self preservation, trying to avoid... no, it wasn't Moss. Was there ever a Moss? Had we been played for foals, this entire time? I took one more glance at Shining before running over and scooping the fallen male into my hooves, streaming tears as I checked for signs of life. He was breathing, thank god, and so I tried to awaken him. He would know what to do.
"Shining! Shining Armor! Please! " I cried, my heart racing to make up for lost time. "What is going on!? Moss, what... where are you!?"
"Right here, " came a reply from the darkness, in a heavy, menacing, feminine tone. That voice . The very demon I had been running from had lead us here, directly into her trap. I looked on in horror as the tunnel leading back to where we came from was sealed off by a violently purple aura, and my only hope of escape disappeared. "Or at least... what you thought to be Moss is right here."
A distinctly frightening, high pitched laugh followed, accompanied by the flittering of insect wings from what seemed like all sides. I had no idea what to do, and so, I simply clung to Shining's body, bawling my eyes out as I looked around in the darkness. For what seemed like so long, there was absolutely nothing... until those two, dreadful magenta eyes appeared to me once again, looming just behind the pillar of light filtering in from the cavern's roof.
"Tell me, little prince ," the beast began, as the sharp sound of delicate hooves walking across rock began to ring out. "Did you suspect nothing from me? Did you truly think your 'auntie' had set you up?"
I only managed a whimper in reply, most definitely soiling myself as I felt a rush of warm liquid beneath me.
"Does this smell familiar? It should."
Once again, that intoxicating scent wafted toward me, and the only thing that came to mind was simply to scream.
"Why!? Why, you bitch! Why would you do this to me!? "
"Why?" came the punctuated reply, the eyes pausing just shy of stepping into the light. "Why, is an answer you may get in time, if you play your cards right. This doesn't need to be the end, little morsel. I chose you. I told you once- everything is a game. Now, is the time when we either set the pieces for another round... or clear the board ."
My heart sank as she reminded me of Moss' words from weeks ago. It had all been a lie. Our entire relationship, the closeness, the intimacy- all part of some sick, demented game...
"W-who are you...?" I stammered, pulling Shining closer into my chest.
There was no reply for a good while, the judgmental, unnatural, insect-like eyes simply staring at me, before she finally blinked. A single, long, slender grey hoof, riddled with holes, stepped out into the column of light. The movement was almost dainty, the limb looking both fragile and menacing at the same time as the creature advanced toward me. A long, sleek, burning orange mane came next, its length reaching halfway to the floor. The mane framed a face... the face of a changeling. All at once, the creature stepped into the light, and stole my breath. She was alien, terrifying... beautiful .
Her skin was a mottled grey, her coloration entirely different from that insufferable queen that had invaded Canterlot so many years ago. The creature's mane and wings were a light, bright orange, her eyes and crown a deep magenta, and her build slender, but tall. Despite her height, at least one and a half times mine, she looked quite young- a proud, victorious expression painted her face, her mouth opening only slightly as two long, snake-like tongues exited her maw to caress along her lower lip. She buzzed her wings once again, leaning her neck lower as she locked her piercing eyes with mine.
"I am Princess Instar... and I am going to finish my mother's work."
The changeling princess unhinged her jaw, opening her mouth to an impossibly wide degree before letting out a loud, menacing shriek, her twin tongues writhing before her. I opened my mouth and began to scream as hard as I could, before she darted forward, her body impacting mine like a missile coated in a magenta aura of magic. My back impacted the rock wall hard, and I let out another scream, this time of pain. The beast angrily buzzed her wings, taking my muzzle in her hoof as she pulled my face to a mere inch from hers.
Her slitted eyes narrowed as she snarled, her eyes burning with an intense hatred.
"What's wrong, Blueblood? Don't you know that I still love you?"
My mouth quivered as the tears silently flowed. I couldn't respond. There was nothing I could do to fight her off, nothing I could say to alleviate my terror.
"After all," she began, leaning her fanged muzzle up to my ear as she whispered, "every prince deserves a princess.
The changeling thrust the back of my head into the rock with incredible force, and everything went black.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"How does she do it? Answer me! "
"Go to hell, you witch! "
A scream rang out, cuing me awake as let out a groan. My vision was blurry, my eyes barely beginning to open as they revealed a fuzzy, orange and black field before me. The sounds of a sharp crack, several intakes of breath, and a desperate struggle filled my ears, followed by an awful, resounding hiss.
"I'm... not telling you... shit!"
"You will! You must! " The shrill voice, overbearing in its volume, echoed through the cavern and made my ears ring as Shining Armor screamed again, his outcry accompanied by a disturbing, squishy sound. The outlines of the pair finally came into view- a distorted vision of a bound stallion, secured to a boulder with his hooves spread, and back to the rock as the devil-mare stood just before him her hoof inside of his stomach, formed into a sharp, needle-like protrusion. As my vision finally came into focus, I saw that Shining was bleeding badly from multiple wounds, his breaths sharp and labored as he closed his eyes in an attempt to cope with the pain. I couldn't bear to watch, instead moving my eyes to the fire pit at the center of the room, what looked suspiciously like a pile of bodies providing fuel for the hungry flames.
"You're... not going to break me... I've been tortured before, and my duty, my allegiance, is s-"
Instar unhinged her jaw once again, hissing a foul breath into Shining's face as she screamed, withdrawing her limb from the small wound just above the stallion's hips. Shining allowed his head to droop, looking down to the floor as he cried tears of pain while the demoness backed away, but only just. She began to pace back and forth in front of him as I silently watched, outright praying that she wouldn't notice my awakened state.
"Your allegiance . Your duty . To what? Your gilded halls? Your people? I have a duty as well! I need her! You selfish, arrogant ponies , with your damned morals, your cushy hovels, and your idealism! You cannot understand what it is to suffer, until you stare the harsh reality of survival in the face! What I do, I do with reason. It does not have to be this way, though if it is, I'm going to enjoy it !"
The sleek, overlarge bug metamorphed her forehoof into a blunt cudgel, one of her bones poking through the skin to form a deadly looking point, and moved again toward Shining with a wicked, sadistic smile. I could take no more of it, and began to struggle against the purple, almost black, slimy bonds holding my hooves to the cavern's wall, my body positioned as Shining's was.
"Stop! " I cried, my throat dry and voice cracking. Instar's smile widened as she held the tip of her improvised bone dagger right up to Shining's eye, the limb dripping a rich, azure blood down onto the rocky floor below.
"Excuse me, Duke," Instar said with a smile as she lowered the scythe-like bone, instead dragging it across Shining's cheek and leaving a wide, reddened gash on the side opposite his Bloodlet injury. "It seems my lover is awake. I'm obligated to comfort him."
It took all of my strength not to soil myself again as I watched the changeling begin to move toward me, her twisted, sleek skin rippling into tentacles as her hoof reformed into its natural shape. The way that she transitioned from a shrill, angry hiss into her sultry, alluring voice, dripping with false sweetness and seduction was utterly terrifying . I had been present at Shining's wedding, cowering within the audience as this creature's supposed mother had fought Celestia, and though alien, Instar's mother lacked the sadistic, wicked glint that this monster had within her eyes. As Instar moved to stand just before me, she took my chin in her hoof, her wings buzzing briefly as she scattered a violet powder about her body.
That scent .
"Hello, Prince," she sang in a saccharine tone, apparently her natural speaking voice. The cadence of her words oozed with lust, as though seduction was her occupation, and one that she treated as an art. Given recent events... it likely was.
"M-moss..." I choked out, trying as hard as I could to avoid her brilliant, slitted, glowing eyes. I was naturally drawn to her, whether it be her skill, my experiences with her other body, or something else... I couldn't put my hoof on it.
"If that makes you feel better, then by all means." Instar ran a gentle hoof through my hair, her light, freezing touch caressing against my cheek as she spoke, in complete calm. "I need some information. If you give it to me, I might even set you free. Doesn't that sound easy?" she asked, the last few words sounding almost perky . This beast was manipulative, and made it easy to lose track of one's focus as she subtly moved, a gentle, almost dance-like quality to her motions. I did my best to stay focused on the matter at hoof, fighting her little game as best I could.
"...suppose... I agreed. What would happen to Shining...?" I asked, my eyes locked upon hers. She didn't flinch, barely ever blinked, unless it was carefully placed and part of her little routine. It was creepy ...
"The Duke? Mmm..." she paused, running a hoof down my chest as I felt myself slowly becoming aroused. I cursed my body's noncompliance with the situation as she trailed the hoof downward, stopping it at my cutie mark and expertly avoiding the situation as she held my gaze, unblinking. "We could negotiate . I'm at the advantage, here. I see no reason to make guarantees."
"Vlad , don't you god damned tell that witch anything! " Shining yelled from across the room, desperately struggling to get himself free. It was very apparent that his right foreleg was barely broken, and moving unnaturally against the binds. The sticky arcs holding his hooves and mine to the stone walls seemed more potent than the strongest glue, and nearly impossible to move against, let alone break. I took a deep breath, and decided to take matters into my own hooves. Shining wasn't going to be able to save me.
"I-Instar... is it?"
"Yes," she hissed, her deep blue tongues twisting around each other within her maw as she playfully drew out the word.
"...what is it that you want to know?"
"Blueblood! You coward! "
I ignored Shining's angered yelling, doing my best to block him out. As I looked down at my own body, I took notice that I had no injuries at all, save for the throbbing in the back of my skull from being slammed into the rock. Just what were her intentions with me...?
"My, my. It seems helping you toward earning your title might not have been a waste of time after all," she cooed. "I like a victim that treats me with respect, be it from fear, or common sense. You might last quite a while, if you keep it up." Instar snaked her hoof around to pat at my flank, to which I could only whimper in reply as she brushed an airy strand of mane from her face. "I want to know how 'Cadenza' does what she does, with regards to love. Nothing more."
I mulled over the question, wracking my brains for any hidden knowledge I might have on the subject. To give her an answer would be to gain my freedom, assuming she was being honest, and then, I could sort out liberating Shining. My mind flew backward through all of the conversations with Cadenza that I could remember, any talk at all of love magic, or her methods. Scraps of information, none of them useful, came to light, as I remembered sitting with her beside the fireplace on cold winter nights while Shining was on tour, talking about anything and everything, from restaurants to clothing. How I missed those days...
"...I know little. She was apparently born with the talent, an... affinity to sense , even measure levels of affection, passion, desire within a pony. Cadenza has some influence over such things, when she casts her signature spells. I don't know how she does it. I only know why, and what she is capable of."
Shining shook his head, his breaths raspy and weak as he glared at the ground as though he was trying to carve a hole into the rock. Instar kept her attention fixated on me while I spoke, never once interrupting as she listened, keeping even her wings still in the silence that lingered afterward.
"I see. I don't care why she does it, only how. You didn't tell me much I didn't know, but at least you're cooperating. This won't be all bad for you, little prince." The changeling leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine and forcing my mouth open with expert skill. Her twin tongues danced into my mouth, caressing my own as she increased the amount of her pheromones within the air around us. I eventually give in, kissing her back and hoping the action would win me some points within this 'game'. Her mouth and saliva tasted sweet, almost like a rich honey, and her hoof rubbed along my cheek as she twisted her head, pouring greedy lust into our oral embrace. Without warning, she sank her razor sharp fangs into my lower lip, causing my eyes to widen as she ripped two holes into the soft membranes. Instar pulled back with a low chuckle, taking her fill of my blood with her tongues as she rolled the tendrils back into her mouth. "Delicious. "
I whimpered, wanting to cry out, but resisting. It was quite evident that pissing Instar off was exactly the opposite of productive in that moment, and at least, so far as I could tell- she was somewhat pleased with me. As she turned back toward Shining Armor, I foolishly lit my horn and tugged upon her wispy tail, trying to draw her attention back to me. The idea worked as she turned, a brow raised at the action.
"...bold ..." she replied with a fangy half-smile.
"Don't hurt him any more. I... I won't tell you anything if you do."
Instar laughed, a high, haughty laugh as she covered her mouth with a perforated hoof. "Oh, you're adorable! I think I'm going to keep you, when this is all over. I don't plan on touching your brother ," she mocked. "At least... not until it's necessary. For now, I have some damage control to take care of. It's time to lead the royal guard on a merry little chase."
As Instar spoke, her facial structure began to contort and twist, her skin blanching as she grew a thin, sleek coating of fur. Her mane turned to intermixed strands of azure and teal, her legs shortening and becoming more muscular as she transformed into an exact copy of Shining Armor. The entire process took only seconds before a duplicate of my so-called 'bro' was standing before me, still wearing Instar's wicked smile. With a subtle shift, the evil grin turned into a much more believable, stoic expression. She had Shining down to a 'T'.
"Don't go too far, you two. I'll admit, though... I'd be damned impressed if you made it anywhere at all."
Without another word, Instar-Shining turned upon his hoof, and left the chamber, leaving me alone with a very upset unicorn in an unfamiliar location.
"...I'm sorry. At least she's gone, and you're not dying. You are alright, yes?"
Shining lifted his head, sporting a black eye, several cuts upon his face, and various other wounds across his body. The broken limb was especially obvious, a bit of bone poking out of his skin from below the knee. "...no, I'm not, but I'll live. You shouldn't have told her anything, but... whatever. We need to focus on getting out of here and warning Celestia. You didn't see what she's really like. You didn't see what she did to me..."
I struggled against my binds, lighting my horn to look up at the purple, blue, or black... some dark colored slime that was holding my hooves to the rock wall. "How, exactly, are we going to get free?"
"Ask nicely, and I might be able to help."
Shining and I both turned our attention to the tunnel opposite the one Instar had left from, to behold a silhouette. The speaker was taller, taller than even our tormentor, and gracefully walked with purpose toward the fire pit that illuminated the room, up to our bodies. A tall, dark changeling came into view, her mane a dull, dark blue, to the point that it was almost grey. A set of faded, fragile, partially torn blue wings rested upon her back, attached to a green carapace. Shining went rigid as the familiar figure walked up to him, pausing mere feet away.
"You ..."
"Don't sound so disappointed, my former lover," she replied, her voice tired and lacking the energy and conviction that it had held during her attack on Canterlot nearly half a decade ago. "Let's get to work on your binds."
Shining struggled as the changeling queen coated her horn in a soft, green aura, before sticking it beneath the slime that Instar had coated his hoof with. She moved the protrusion backward, using the bladed edge to cut Shining's left forehoof free, and all that either of us could think to do was look at each other, dumbfounded by her actions. The queen took Shining's free hoof in her own, keeping a gentle grip upon him as she cut the other, broken limb free, and moved to catch the stallion's upper body upon her back as he fell forward. Shining shivered, looking relieved, disgusted, confused, and wary as the changeling leaned down and cut his left hind leg free, before helping pull him free from the right shackle.
"But... why? "
"We don't have time for that right now. Help me free the other unicorn, and then, we need to get you two home."
Shining slipped off of the queen's back, before slowly limping toward me, his unlikely ally at his side and his broken leg curled under his body. The tall mare offered me a sad smile, her expression apologetic as she began to cut my forelimbs free of their binds.
"I don't believe we've met. Hold still, and you'll get your answers soon."
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
I fell forward, without an overlarge bug to support me as my hooves hit the cold stone below. Apparently, the giant roach had taken a liking to Shining in her time fucking him senseless, a fact that I'd make a note to rub in later, once we'd gotten out of this ordeal alive. If we got out of this ordeal alive. I took a moment to pant, doubled over with my horn nearly touching the stone below as the orange glow from the fire pit reached out to warm the edges of my face. Truly, the day had taken a turn for the unexpected, followed by a second turn for the insane...
"So... what do we do first, queen? How do we know we can trust you?" Shining coughed a bit before shaking his head in what appeared to be an involuntary shiver. A small, thin trail of dried blood had leaked from his mouth and stretched the length of his chin. He needed medical attention, badly. As conflicted as I was about everything, especially after Instar had made herself known... I refused to let him perish within those god forsaken caves. There had to be a way...
"...queen. It's been quite some time since I've heard that title, Shining. My name is Chrysalis. I suppose we never really did get a proper introduction. Your poor hoof," she cooed, as she took Shining's broken foreleg. The expression upon his face was something indescribable- a mix between hatred, fear, confusion... and a bit of lust . Given Instar's little powder trick and the effect that it had on me, I assumed that her particular brand of pheromone still had a strong influence over him. What a perfect excuse a repeat seduction would have been for Cadance to slip away from him... especially now that my lover had turned out to be anything but.
"...Shining Armor. It's... nice, to meet you? I really don't know. None of this makes sense. That beast is your daughter?"
Chrysalis' expression changed to one of absolute venom, her muzzle a mere inch from Shining's as her wings twittered angrily. "All changelings currently alive are my children... and though she may be misguided, I will not tolerate your judgment of her. That is my prerogative, and mine alone."
Shining merely blinked, unafraid, and perhaps somewhat numbed from his pain. "...I understand, but you have to realize that we can't afford this right now. Canterlot can't deal with this. If you two are planning another invasion..."
"Shining," I began, "these two aren't planning anything... at least, I should hope not. Chrysalis?" The tall changeling looked to me, her expression cold and judgmental. "You speak as though you and your daughter are at odds. Explain the situation, as we get moving."
"Vlad? Where exactly are we going to 'get moving' to?" Shining sighed, cracking his neck as he swallowed hard. Both he and the bug looked to me, and for once, I truly did feel like some sort of leader.
"That depends. Chrysalis. Queen," I began, testing the waters. She seemed to respond favorably to the title, so I made a note to keep it. "Where did Instar leave from? The water tunnel that we used to enter?"
Chrysalis paused, looking around the room for a few moments as Shining and I stood in uncomfortable silence. "...no. She went the opposite way, through the back of the mountain. I would suspect she will lead her victims back through the same tunnels, so as to avoid a run-in with whatever you lot may have dropped on the way in."
"That's it!" I exclaimed. "The chamber where she attacked us! Our rebreathers! We need to locate them, and swim back through the lake!"
Shining nodded, his good knee wobbling a bit as he coughed once again. Chrysalis moved to support him, allowing the large unicorn to lean against her side. "It's a good plan. I just hope I can still swim..."
"It's better than the alternative," Chrysalis replied while shifting her mane from her face. "Come. I believe I know where the two of you were ambushed." Without another word, the queen beckoned me to take her place in supporting Shining, my size much more favorable for the process of assisting in walking. She took the lead, and I followed along, half dragging the duke as he tried to alleviate as much of the strain from my back as he could.
I cleared my throat as I followed the changeling queen, her tail swishing like a pendulum and drawing my eyes to her rump. I had to say... her daughter had a certain set of curves that the older monster seemed to have lost, with her age. The thoughts alone disgusted me... though in truth, I couldn't really be blamed for such things, given their nature and tactics. I opened my mouth to take my mind off the subject, only partially succeeding in my efforts.
"...so... that explanation. Why are you setting us free...?"
"Because my daughter is an idiot," came the snappy reply. Chrysalis angrily swished her tail and ignited her horn in a bright, neon green blaze to light the path ahead. She weaved through the tunnels expertly, and I did my best to follow. "A better question- why do you care 'why' I'm doing this? My people have been the subject of your folk tales and nightmares for generations. To question such a thing is pushing your luck... and I do not particularly need you . Shining, however, must live."
It was an odd sort of feeling, being offended by a predator, rather than terrified. I simply smirked, doing my best to lighten the mood. "Afraid to be in the presence of a true royal?"
"Let me know when you find one," Chrysalis spat back as she trotted into a circular, familiar chamber. As she swept her head to spread the light around the room, I caught sight of a bloodstain upon the wall, and my stomach turned. It was my blood...
"I-I... will... erm... d-do you see anything?"
Shining chimed in as he shuffled off my back, hobbling over to a bent, metal tube, with a shattered mask laying next to it. "...one of us isn't leaving... if any at all are."
"D-don't say that," I stammered out. "There are still the tunnels to the back of the mountain, and there must be multiple exits. R-right?" I looked up to Chrysalis, who offered me no reply, other than to walk farther into the room. Her light reflected off what appeared to be a small screen, and she bent low to pick up one intact rebreather.
"Is this what you two are looking for?" she asked. I had to fight back a smile as I nodded.
"Then, we just need an oxygen tank to match, and the other... mask..." I stepped forward, only to find the third rebreather, the lens shattered and mostly missing, and the entire strap broken in half. I swallowed hard. "Only one of us can leave this place..."
Shining let out a heavy sigh, and for the first time that I had ever seen, his confidence faltered. I found myself unable to blame him as I looked him over- he was quite obviously in severe pain, and his psyche had been twisted by the reappearance of this 'Chrysalis' figure. He was unable to lead... and the task had finally fallen to me.
"You're forgetting something. That's if we can find an oxygen tank in working order. One is here, and broken."
"...as is this one." Chrysalis lifted a charred heap from the ground, holding it out within a magical glow for all to see. The tube had indeed been destroyed, with purposeful punctures made into the surface several times over. That hateful bitch had likely driven her very bones into the device, over and over, to prevent a possible escape...
"Wait!" I cried. A sudden rush a adrenaline swam up through my breast, as realization dawned upon me. "Moss... well, Instar... he left his tank at the lakeside tunnel! It was too heavy for him!"
"Vlad's right! Chrysalis, can you take us to the water exit?"
"Easily, on one condition- if only one of you can leave, it's going to be Shining." Chrysalis shot me a glare, one that I didn't dare return. I mulled over the idea, and the odds that he could make it up the tunnel and across the lake alive with a broken foreleg. His odds were good, and based on some of the tales he'd told me, I knew he had been through worse... but what of me? What was to become of me, down in that cave? Would I be rescued?
Did it matter anymore, to anyone ? The only one who had shown me true affection had never existed at all...
"...fine. Shining, you're leaving."
Shining began to hobble toward me, looking determined. "No. I'm not leaving you here to d-"
"Don't argue with me you filthy peasant ," I spat, a feeling of dread and determination creeping over me. "Cadenza is in danger, clearly. She needs your protection, and Celestia will, in turn, protect you. I'll be fine. I've... got her." I jabbed my head in the direction of Chrysalis, who was busy inspecting her hoof. I didn't trust her, but Shining was Cadenza's best chance for survival, even in his injured state. There was only so much I could do... and Instar knew far too much about me for my protection to be sufficient. To have any chance of seeing my first love alive again, it had to be him. One day, she would appreciate my sacrifice. She had to...
"...I'm coming back for you," he insisted.
"Fine , but only once Cadenza is being protected by the princesses themselves."
"Fine."
Chrysalis balked, spitting onto the ground. The substance sizzled against the rock, eating a small hole into the surface and inspiring a bit of fear in myself and my traveling companion. "Stop wasting time, the both of you. Support Shining, and follow me." Without another word, Chrysalis trotted for the tunnel, and I braced Shining against my back and acquiesced to her demand. The trip was short and silent, the tension in the air thick as we walked up to the lip of rock at the edge of the water. The oxygen tank was indeed still there, and intact. I sucked in an uneasy breath, and set Shining down before helping him secure the rebreather around his face.
"...I hate you. I really, truly do, especially now. Save her. Protect her. Tell her I'm coming."
Shining nodded, a bit confused by my insistence, but said nothing. I affixed the oxygen tank to his back, biting my lower lip as I watched him sag slightly, his body weak. He was going to make it. He had to.
"Good luck, Shining. I have faith in you."
"...one other thing, duke," Chrysalis offered. Shining looked to her, testing the rebreather and getting a full breath of air as the pumps began to work. "Tell Celestia that I am coming, and that I am to be welcomed. Once I can afford to slip away, I'll give her what information I can, but I can't afford to stay with you lot."
"Why not just tell him?" I inquired.
"Because there are some things neither of you would understand. She might," Chrysalis replied with a definitive tone. I didn't bother to argue, and instead helped Shining to the water, before bracing my hoof upon his back.
"See you soon," I whispered, before pushing him forward and into the water. Shining dived straight down into the dark liquid, and slowly disappeared from sight. I couldn't shake the feeling that it might have been the last time I would ever see him, as Chrysalis approached me from behind.
"Thank you for not being the insistent, entitled jackass that my daughter assured me you were," she hissed into my ear, her face right up against mine. I couldn't bear to look at her, and instead closed my eyes, focusing on the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"...I'm trying. I've been trying to change, partially because of your daughter, when I thought she was... someone else."
"Does the reason really matter? A change is a change... and change is good," she whispered, planting a small kiss upon the back of my ear. It twitched against my will, as I felt a tear slip from my eyes.
"...n-no, I suppose not. Am I going to make it out of here alive?"
Chrysalis hesitated, taking quite a while to answer. "I'm going to try to make it so, in return for your generosity. Shining's life means quite a bit to my mission. I can get you out of here, in due time... but for now, I'm going to have to put you back where I found you."
I had expected the words, and swallowed hard. "...I know."
"...and his escape, as well as my reaction, needs to be convincing..." She lightly stroked my mane with a hoof, a genuine apologetic tone accenting her words.
"...I know..."
"...I'm going to need to hurt you."
I didn't bother to reply with words. All I could manage was a sniffle and a nod.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
I cried out in pain again as the fangs sunk into my foreleg, and blood oozed up from beneath the wound. Chrysalis kept her muzzle flush to my flesh, purring lightly as her twin tongues flickered across the surface of my fur, lapping up droplets of my lifeblood. My heart was racing and my mind was screaming at me to kick her off, but I knew that I couldn't. I knew she was right. This had to be convincing, for my sake, and hers. She had saved Shining Armor, and she was going to save me... or so I hoped.
Atop the hard, cold, stone floor I laid, the bug queen atop me and pressed into my chest. Chrysalis writhed ever so slightly, her wings slowly circling with pleasure as she continued to wound me. Countless scratches, cuts, and punctures littered my skin, and I was sure to exaggerate every scream as best I could. If help came, I wanted them to find me... and even if they annihilated that loathsome beast, so long as I got out alive, I wouldn't have cared at all. It wasn't as though Chrysalis was a friend .
The oversized bug withdrew her lips from my skin with a sickeningly wet pop , twirling her tongues around each other as she sucked them back into her mouth with a sadistic grin. "Too much? I wouldn't complain, little prince. I'm only letting you live because Shining wants it. Really, it would be more convenient if you died , considering that my daughter has plans for you."
"P-plans?" I stammered, feeling barely in control of my voice. "There's... more to this... this scheme? "
"Of course there's more. You should be getting a feel for how she operates, by now. There's an entire elaborate plan in motion, and it's up to Shining and I to stop it. If you prove useful, then you'll have a part to play, as well." Chrysalis licked off her bloody forehoof as she dismounted my chest with some effort. Her once agile and imposing movements were stuttered, slowed and twisted by age, or fatigue. Perhaps both. Clearly, she was not the queen she had once been.
I leaned upward, propping myself up as best I could against a nearby boulder. Sweat poured from my forehead as blood continued to run down my legs and chest, and it took me several moments to collect my thoughts. "Why? You still haven't given me a clear answer. Why does she need to be stopped? Isn't this... this madness, this chaos, exactly the sort of thing you would promote?"
"Normally, yes, but these times are anything but normal." Chrysalis continued to lick, seeming to be in a much better mood. After what felt like several minutes of silence, she stood once more, and made her way over to me. The queen was quite tall, and, now that I had seen her from that perspective, very imposing. She leaned her long, slender neck downward, until her dull eyes were mere inches from my own, our muzzles touching lightly. "I told you once that asking was dangerous... but I like a thick stallion. Indulge me, and I'll return the favor."
I shuddered, thinking through the possibilities of what she could mean. The obvious, sickening answer was the first to mind, and I frantically crossed my hind legs in a feeble attempt to protect myself. I opened my mouth to protest, but I wasn't given an option. Thankfully, I was quite mistaken with her intentions.
"Hold still. This won't hurt. It's more of a... squeezing sensation," she spoke with a grin. Before I could respond, her horn was alight and pressed against mine, and I felt myself being drained. Of what, I couldn't say, though I quickly figured out that she must have been stealing love. My vision went blurry, and I did indeed feel a tight squeeze around my chest as Chrysalis fed. Amazingly enough, the entire process ended within seconds, and my vision returned shortly thereafter. Compared to her previous complexion, the queen was practically glowing after the act.
"Yes, excellent . Your love for the princess is strong, child. Now, I may yet make it through this winter..." Chrysalis cracked her neck, a youthful sort of mischief hanging about her features.
"You're dying...?" I asked, despite myself. The idea seemed absurd, that one could age so quickly, if they were deprived of love...
"My race is dying," she replied with a hint of venom. Chrysalis turned away, and took her time walking to the fire in the center of the room. She sat before the roaring flames, seeming almost pensive as her tone changed entirely. "The worldwide population of changelings is below 300. All of them are here."
It took several seconds to process the information, during which I must have looked like a lobotomite. I rose into a full sitting position, though the action was a bit shaky due to the various injuries that Chrysalis had graced me with. "Three hundred? But... at least a thousand invaded Canterlot. Surely, we didn't kill that many...?"
"You didn't. There are other factors at play. Instar is right to make a dangerous gamble to save our people... but Cadance isn't it. This is a bad move, and one that's going to get us all killed. She isn't going to listen to me. I've become a pariah, after my failure. My subjects will not even address me as queen." Chrysalis turned back to face me, her expression one of disgust.
"...and yet, she calls herself Princess . She hasn't deposed you."
"Not yet. She can't. The distinction between the two is physical, not simply a rite of birth or promotion, as it is with you p-"
Chrysalis was interrupted by a stallion's scream, and then a hard thump. The noise was quite loud, and came from a place entirely too close for comfort.
"That's... oh, no..." I scrambled backward, falling onto my back to lay prostrate once again and keep up our little ruse.
"Instar. Don't you dare tell her about my involvement, or what you know. It would be both of our heads." Chrysalis hurried to climb back atop me, pinning my hooves to the ground with her own as she readied her fangs against my shoulder. "...I'm not sorry, but that doesn't mean I want to hurt you."
"Fair enough," I quipped with a sarcastic tone. I took the opportunity to pat her atop the head in as condescending a manner as I could manage. "Do what you must." As Chrysalis sank her teeth into my shoulder, I immediately regretted my little triumph.
A voice came from a nearby tunnel- light, giddy, and feminine. A panic rose within me as I heard Instar coming, a sort of primal fear eclipsing the pain from her mother's bite. "Oh, my little colts... I've come home to play with you, once again," she sang.
A bloodstained Shining Armor entered the large chamber, grinning from ear to ear as 'he' walked his way up to the fire pit. The usual pristine coat of snow white was almost entirely red, and the ersatz stallion lacked any sort of armor... but made up for it with what appeared to be a few organs , ground and plastered against his fur. The stallion's smile didn't last long as he noticed the two vacant stone protrusions, and shifted immediately back to his true form of Instar.
"Where are they!?" she bellowed, sprinting toward me and her mother, both upon the ground. As we came into her line of sight, the furious princess pulled Chrysalis from my chest and gazed into the larger bug's eyes, before smacking her hard across the face. Chrysalis stumbled and fell to her knees form the impact, spitting a small torrent of deep, blue blood onto the rock below.
"You fed on him? He is mine! " Instar roared, before her horn began to glow with a purple fury. I was lifted from the ground and slammed back into the pillar to which I had originally been bound with a loud crack , the impact knocking the very air from my lungs. "Where is Shining Armor!? "
My breathlessness prevented a response, and I soon found my back slamming into the rock once again, with even greater force. "Where did he go!? "
"Enough! " A dark hoof appeared on Instar's shoulder, drawing her attention behind herself and away from me. I dropped to the ground like a stone, coughing madly as the bugs argued with each other.
"Don't you dare lay hooves on me again!"
"You'll kill him, you fool! He and Shining Armor were escaping, and I found the pair on the way out of the caves. I fed off the weakling to stop Shining, but he proved too much for me. He got away, but I managed to subdue the little prince," Chrysalis lied with an expert poker face. Instar searched her mother's eyes for any sign of deceit... before turning to look at mine .
I froze again with fear, knowing that I was normally a terrible liar, and bluffing was far from my strong suit. I cleared my mind as best I could, focusing only on the idea, the need to support Chrysalis' story. If I didn't, if I couldn't manage to convince that evil bitch, both of us would die, then and there. I steeled myself and returned her gaze, finally in control of my breaths once again.
"...i-it's true... Shining... Shining is on his way back to Canterlot. He'll stop you. He'll save me."
Instar narrowed her eyes, a look of barely restrained rage sweeping across her face. "Not if he can't find us. Mother," she stated with a tone just daring the elder queen to question her. Chrysalis looked to Instar, ready and waiting for her orders. "Guard this cave. Slaughter any foolish enough to enter." Chrysalis nodded, while lazily twirling a lock of her mane around her socketed hoof.
"And what of the little prince? Are you going to kill him?"
Instar turned to me, her gaze softening, if just a bit. "Why would I break a toy that has provided me with so much entertainment? No. For now, he lives. Besides... if Shining has made it back to Canterlot... I'll need him to continue the plan."
"Of course," Chrysalis replied, moving to sit back at the fire pit.
"Mother? One more thing..." Instar walked over, pressing her lips to the former queen's ear. "I don't trust you. I think you're involved... but I also think you're smarter than that. If I do find out that you've helped either of them, I'll fucking murder you myself. Are we clear?" she finished sweetly.
"...crystal. Get going, before the guards make it here."
"That's the plan." Instar looked over her shoulder to me, where I lay still stunned and trying to process the exchange. "Can you walk?"
"I... I don't know," I answered honestly.
"Well, you'd better figure it out. If you can't keep up, I'll give you reason to." Instar made her way toward the mouth of a tunnel, before disappearing behind the first bend with an high-pitched, cascading laugh that caused my skin to crawl. I could have tried to run. I could have begged Chrysalis for help, and hoped against hope that the elder changeling could still win in a fight against her daughter. I didn't dare.
Slowly and painfully, I got to my hooves and began limping toward the tunnel Instar had taken. As I pressed my hoof against the rocky wall for support, a voice from behind echoed softly toward my ears.
"...good luck."
I looked over my shoulder, catching Chrysalis' tired eyes and watching the flames reflect within them. It was odd, seeing an honest, encouraging look from a changeling.
"...you too," I replied, before pushing myself forward to go and find my captor.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
I dragged myself forward and through the tight passage as best I could, heart racing and mind swimming with possibilities. I was headed in the same direction that Instar had emerged from, and those screams... those screams had been close. Someone had died nearby, and with the unbranching tunnel leading into the blackness before me, it was likely only a matter of time before I found her most recent victim. The thought sent a physical shiver down my spine as my flesh began to crawl... and my eyes began to leak. I was going to die. Whether it was within minutes, hours, perhaps even days... there was no way that Instar's grand plan involved my survival.
"Don't keep me waiting, rich kid," came the call from farther down the tunnel. Amazingly, her deep, husky voice, just dripping with lust and a deadly invitation caused my skin to convulse even more than the prospect of oncoming death. She was intelligent, scheming, determined, and deadly... a spider whose web I had unknowingly walked into, and one whose bite had more venom than my harshest criticism. There was naught I could do to protect myself from her, and it was likely that she had expected my every move within her little 'game'.
"C-coming, Darling..." I replied, trying to inject some humor into the situation for my own sanity. Instar didn't reply, the only noises following my statement a faint buzzing of wings and a wet squish . The second reply had come from beneath my hooves, and following my instinct, I looked down, only to immediately wish I hadn't.
My right forehoof was deep within some poor bastard's chest, his flesh and ribcage ripped open. The fallen pegasus had worn armor of the day guard, and the dull golden plate had been torn asunder in a giant, jagged hole, as had his chest beneath it. My hoof rested within his chest cavity, surrounded by broken fragments of rib, punctured organs, and copious amounts of blood. My mouth hung open in horror as I brought the hoof back up toward my face, watching a dark crimson stream of gore work its way down toward my knee. Without a second thought, I backed up, fell to my haunches, doubled over, and vomited upon the stone floor of the tunnel. The dark yellow and green mixture of bile and partially digested food splattered across my hooves, painting the fur a sickly, undignified color. I found that I couldn't care less as the warm sickness splashed against me, and I slammed my eyes shut, hoping and praying that I would wake up at any second.
"Open your eyes."
I didn't obey, and instead wrinkled my nose while turning my head away as the familiar aphrodisiac hit my nostrils like an oncoming train.
"Open your eyes, you disgusting little worm ," came Instar's voice, her hot, carrion-scented breath brushing across my cheek. I obeyed, only to find the changeling princess towering over me, her face leaned down just before mine as she glared into my eyes with a look full of hatred. "Listen, watch, and understand something."
I shook my head in a final act of defiance, the expression of worry that I was no doubt broadcasting betraying my false bravery. Instar walked around beside me and took my chin in one of her hooves before forcefully turning my head to the sight of the carcass before us. The stallion's features were twisted in agony, his eyes wide and neck snapped in addition to the large hole in his chest. The lopsided face stared back up at me from the ground, and I found myself unable to look away from the pony's horrified features as Instar whispered into my ear.
"What you're looking at right now is a failure of a stallion. A pony not worthy of life. A pony who trusted in me, who followed me, and who never questioned my intentions. He marched behind his leader, just as he was trained to, did his duty, and lived his life as he was told. He never stopped to wonder why. He never protested as I lead him into the cave. He saw Shining Armor, he saw what was supposed to be, and he listened to the words of his loving superiors until it was too late. He only ever questioned me once... and that was at the last second, right before he died. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"
I shook and turned my face ever so slightly within her grip, barely able to look into her eyes. Instar moved her face slightly forward to allow eye contact, her pupil in a deadlock against my own. I couldn't find the words to reply, but apparently, I didn't need to.
"In my time as Moss, my purpose was twofold. I stalked you for years , skulking the streets and the outside of the palace. I watched in silence as you went about your comfortable little routine, never once breaking the mold or wondering why. You were so complacent, so blind... and therefore, I decided to shake things up. I heard about the little bid to build a homeless shelter, and saw it as the perfect opportunity to strike. It was something you would never do. Something you needed , and something that could take you out of your comfort zone. It was the first step toward helping you become a man ."
I huffed aloud, struggling against her grip to no avail. "Helping me? Why would I believe you had intent to help me!? And why me? You could've done this to anyone!"
"I don't expect you to believe it. I helped you because you are a pathetic, undeserving fool , wasting your potential. I knew you had it in you to be something greater, but you've squandered your talents since the day you were born! As for why you specifically... that's because you can give me what I need, in a way few others can." Instar released her iron grip and walked over to the corpse. She raised one of her hooves before bringing it down upon the pony's skull, caving it in with a wet crack . I didn't look away.
"A-and what do you need...?"
Instar's angry glower twisted into a knowing grin, and her eyes flickered ever so slightly before she turned her head to look down the tunnel ahead of us. Her mane fell into her face once again, the curtain of blazing orange hiding her dark violet eyes from view. "You'll find out in time, just before you give it to me. Think on my words, 'Prince'. The stallion in front of you did everything he was supposed to, and never thought for himself. I'm asking you to look at the situation from all sides, before doing what you think you should. You don't have enough information yet to make that call."
"Is this another 'game' of yours, you putrid witch? " I asked, matching her mysterious aloofness with a bit of poison.
"Everything is a game, Blue. Now, follow me until you're ready to choose your side in this little war, or I'll remove you from the board."
I stumbled forward after her, trodding once again upon the corpse, the path too narrow to avoid the desecration. I stopped only when my nose was right up against her own, and Instar looked down with a bemused look. I had had more than enough of being toyed with and feeling like a simple pawn.
"Then why not kill me!? Why risk all of this, for your own sadistic pleasure? You must know that I won't pick 'your' side, of all sides! After what you've done to me, what you did to Shining... whatever it is you have 'planned' for Cadenza..."
"Why not kill you? As I said- you have potential . The potential to be an invaluable ally, or a way to sustain myself for quite some time with all that pent up love you're harboring for the other princess in your life." Instar giggled as her fangs slipped from her mouth, seeming to extend and flex as though they had minds of their own. "That, and I'm confident that once you see the truth... you'll reconsider your words."
Her words did nothing to help my fury subside, and so, I rebelled in the only way I could think to. I spit. The wet glob of saliva impacted Instar's forehead before running down alongside her nose in a slow, sticky trail. She didn't even blink as she spoke, her voice low and even.
"If it were anyone else, at any other time, in any other place, I would lift you from your hooves, quite easily, I might add, and slam you into that wall, with my hoof around your neck. I would choke you, reveling in your every gargle and the crackle of your windpipe, before sinking my teeth into your neck and getting a taste of that dark fluid you ponies seem to rely so much upon. Then, I would slowly, agonizingly push a bone from the tip of my hoof, inches from your eye, before letting it gently, calmly slide into the socket. I'd let it go unhindered until it contacted something hard, drinking in your screams, before ripping it out and driving it into your chest, just beneath the ribs, and twisting to aim it downward. Then, I'd proceed to unzip you, letting your intestines slowly loll out of your stomach like your chest was an overstuffed suitcase, all the while watching you twist and scream as you bled out onto the floor. Just before you expired, I'd reach into your chest, take whatever squishy, vital organ I could find, and sink my teeth into it in front of you. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" Instar asked sweetly, with a mocking tilt of her head. I could only silently nod, the entire scenario vividly playing through my mind as she spoke. "Good. I warned you once that you didn't know enough to make a choice, and you made one anyway. This is your second, and last warning. Follow me."
The princess turned on her hoof and walked farther out into the darkness, and I hurriedly followed. How I didn't piss myself again , I'd never understand. We walked for quite some time in absolute silence, before the rock beneath my hooves turned an odd sort of tan, the color growing lighter as we reached the mouth of the cave. Sunlight poured down onto the stone, and the sight of a treeline somewhat below us clued me in to the fact that we were indeed exiting onto the side of a mountain.
Instar's skin began to bubble slightly as it changed color, her proportions warping and twisting to shrink into the form of a familiar green annoyance. Creeping Moss stood before me once again, and my heart ached at the sight. I knew it wasn't him. I knew there never was a 'him', but at the same time... I had found some sort of comfort in the body before me. I couldn't help but stare longingly as he bent low, rolling aside a rock to reveal a hidden duffel bag, which my former mate quickly slung across his chest and shoulders.
"Town's just down the ridge and about a mile through the trees. You up for a bit of a walk, little boy Blue?"
I let out a tiny chuckle, and resigned myself to my fate. What choice did I really have? There was nowhere to run, and I was being held captive by the very body I had grown to love.
"With you? Always."
'Moss' simply rolled his eyes and set out down the narrow path before us, which wound down to the forest below. "Don't lie. It's unflattering."
"Then explain your own personal need to do so," I quipped.
"Never said I was pretty, did I?"
I fell silent. She had a point.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
ACT II
I do not know how long I laid upon the cold, stone floor, staring aimlessly up at the ceiling. Days had passed, I knew at least that much for sure, as shafts of light appeared and were snuffed out, seeping in and ebbing away through cracks in the rock. Endless streams of thoughts passed through my mind, like a muddied, twisting river fabricated from my experiences, suppositions, doubts, and fears. Instar's words, her facial expression as she had told me the truth... was it the truth? Could she be trusted to reveal such sensitive information to one such as I? What did she have to gain from doing so? Everything is a game , she had said. Was there a way to stop playing?
Twice since my confinement in that small, cold nook within the rocky walls had food been brought to me, and each time, it had been sustenance that I found difficult to stomach. The third meal arrived before me, carried by a changeling drone within a small, hoof-crafted bowl. The appearance of the object was unlike any sort of artisan's work I had ever seen, and yet, it was carved with intricate markings and etched pictures. The bowl had been rendered from a glossy, black stone, one that resided within the ceiling of the cave, and seemed plentiful. Was it their usual medium? Did changelings produce art? Why was I being fed, to begin with?
The thoughts were quickly replaced with an all-encompassing nausea as I gazed into the bowl, finding for the third time exactly what I had hoped I would not. Meat . An unidentifiable, odorous slab of red, bloody, raw meat of questionable origin. Clearly, it wasn't some sort of changeling flesh, as they seemed to bleed blue- how ironic a revelation that had been. No, the meat was certainly mammalian in nature, with a high possibility of being from a pony. The drone set the bowl down before me, and despite the stench, and the mental revulsion at the thought of what I may have been eating, I couldn't look away. My temporary companion said nothing, though his expression spoke volumes. He was hungry as well... though it wasn't the bowl that he was eyeing. How much longer would I be kept alive? How much longer, until a drone defied Instar's orders and pounced upon me, looking to drain what little love I still harbored for Cadenza, or sink their teeth into my filthy flesh?
I slowly rose to my hooves with a shaky effort, feeling weak and really, quite hopeless. I lowered my muzzle and sniffed the meat, finding that same sick, rotten smell that turned my stomach and had lead to a pile of sick within the corner of the room. Avoiding the stench and soupy pool of vomit and excrement became harder and harder as the hours passed, to the point where living in filth had become my second nature. The things I would have done for a simple shower...
"Eat."
I looked up, my raggedy blonde mane hanging within my face and obscuring my view of the drone before me. The diminutive bug approached, speaking once again for the first time since he had begun visiting me. I had thought that the drones couldn't speak, in all honesty.
"Eat. Make it quick, and do not complain."
"W-why are you helping me? Did Instar order this...?" I let out a raspy cough, almost sure that I could feel my ribs poking into my sagging skin. Had it been days? Was it weeks, instead? I had only partaken in their foul meals when the hunger had become absolutely too much to bear... and the first time, I had been force-fed, to save me from certain death.
"No." The drone approached, pressing his nose to my own, our eyes locked. His gaze was piercing, while mine could barely keep focus. "It's me. Chrysalis," she whispered.
"Ch-" was all that I managed, before my jaw was clenched shut with a magical hold.
"You fool . Do not speak my name. I am not welcome among our people, but they cannot find me, so long as you don't fuck it up," she snapped. "Our time is near."
"Our... time?" I asked. "What window do we have? Why has Instar left me alone?"
"She loathes you. She's been brooding in private for the past two weeks, according to the other drones. She's likely hashing out her plan to use you to capture the princess, though she may also be plotting your death out of sheer irritation, Instar has killed for far less." Chrysalis paused to crack her neck. "I've been waiting for an appropriate moment to approach. I am fleeing to Canterlot, and you will make sure that I am unharmed in repayment for your liberation." Chrysalis held up the bowl, his hoof twisting unnaturally as the meat neared my muzzle. It took all of my willpower to prevent myself from throwing up.
"You... intend to use me, just as she has," I spat. I was growing so tired of being a pawn...
"In a sense. Follow me, and you will live. Stay with my daughter, and I cannot guarantee the same." He plucked a chunk of meat from the bowl, and held it a mere inch from my lips. I was hungry... so very, very hungry...
"But will you guarantee Cadenza's safety? What other hope do your people have?" I sniffed the meat once again, feeling sick. It was a pony... it must have been a pony. Changelings wouldn't slaughter deer, would they?
Chrysalis glowered, his expression darkening. "That is not your place to question. I've told you before that my daughter is insane. I don't support her radical ideas for our... 'salvation'. That is the most I can say."
My stomach rumbled. It wouldn't have been long before the hunger became unbearable, once again...
"I demand her safety."
"You can demand all you wish, little prince... but the facts remain. I can save your life. Eat, and we leave."
I cast one final, questioning glance to my apparent savior, before pressing my lips to her hoof and placing my teeth around the meat within her grasp. I gently sank my canines into the bloody hunk, shivering as the precious liquid began to ooze from its surface and dribble down my chin. The disgusting taste drove me wild, and I snapped my head to the side, stealing the meat and dragging it away from her. It was mine .
I let out a feral sounding growl as I tore through the squishy mass of muscle within my maw, reveling in the sheer bestial nature of my assault. It was a guilty, filthy pleasure, and one that I found revolting... but in a demented way, it was satisfying . To survive, now, others had to die... regardless of whom they may be. Whatever creature had given its life to Chrysalis had done so to sustain me, and their lifeblood ran from my chin to my chest, soaking my tattered bow tie and ruffles. Foal's tales of vampires sprang to mind as I watched my front become covered in blood, only for Chrysalis to slide the rest of the bowl toward me. I didn't refuse it. I consumed it all , ravenous in my insatiable hunger. The changeling merely watched, an amused expression plastered across her face.
"Are you even aware of what... or whom you're consuming, child?"
My chest heaved as I stared down at the bloody scraps beneath my hooves, barely noticeable to any but the famished. I hurried to scoop them from the floor, and licked my hooves in reply. I couldn't calm myself. I couldn't fight back the primal beast within. I had become no better than her , simply following my base instincts to survive...
"I suppose it doesn't matter. Now, follow me, and remain unseen." Without another word, Chrysalis turned upon his hoof and exited the nook, heading off and to the right, opposite of the direction that Instar had lead me.
"Cadenza..."
"Silence. "
"N-no..." I limped along, trying to summon some semblance of courage within my breast. The chimera... giving myself so that Shining could escape... I had done great things. Celestia was right. I was a prince worthy of my title, and not a beast. I had to survive to continue being a hero. A hero of nothing.
Chrysalis hissed, her drone disguise twitching in agitation as she lead me through tunnels unknown, deeper and deeper into the rock while she whispered. "What makes her any more deserving of life than us?"
"She is... she is a gentle soul. A bringer of love. She has the sweetest smile..." I recited, as though the words had been at the tip of my tongue for days, simply seeking an excuse to spill forth.
"And you know that I would not be, were I also loved? You know for a fact, that if not for the prejudice against our people, I, and my daughter, would still be monsters?" Chrysalis continued onward, the floor below us changing in elevation as we walked upward, toward the shafts of light creeping through the rock.
"Witch..." I replied, my bloodlust and exhaustion giving way to anger. Was Chrysalis any different? I couldn't trust her. She was just as shifty as Instar, and the saying about apples and trees was likely very true.
I didn't get much time to muse as Chrysalis spun, his body once again pressed to mine as angry whispers spilled into my ears.
"You proclaim us beasts, as you devour our meat. You live our life, scurrying in the shadows, consuming the dead to survive, and holding on to any scrap of love you can find to keep you going. All you can think of is your precious princess as you wallow in shit and await your fate, passively dying and assuming someone will come to your rescue. The world doesn't work that way, you insipid fool! You are not so different from me! From Instar! "
I fell quiet, letting her words sink in. What I had become over the past... had she said week and a half? Had it been more? I had been driven mad by hunger, despair, guilt, and anger. My grasp upon reality and my former life was tenuous, and Chrysalis' statements rang true. I was becoming no different. I may as well have been a changeling. Was I beyond redemption?
Were we?
"Now, be silent. We must pass through the central chamber, and then, we will be outside."
I finally decided to acquiesce and shut up, only to find that I wouldn't have had a choice in the matter. Chrysalis led me into a large, cavernous room, where at least a hundred changelings rested in a state of torpor upon the stony outcroppings and within the walls. The entire area was silent, and almost serene, bar a dull, green glow emanating from a pool of viscous looking liquid to our immediate right. I paused to look down into the pool, only to feel the harsh impact of a carapace-laden hoof gripping the back of my neck.
"No. If you touch it, you will die. Amusing though it would be... I need you alive."
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
A Storm Within Ivory Walls
ACT I
It was everything I’d ever wanted, and had been too proud to simply ask for. All of the tension I’d been carrying for so many years, all of that anger, spite, and jealousy seemed to drift away instantly, as I finally understood what I’d been doing wrong. Lying there, in her hooves… it felt right. Feeling the warmth of the sun against my back as we rested, breathing calmly amongst the cold blades of wet grass was a sensation unlike any other, and it finally had a meaning. It was finally true, in that perfect moment- I was loved. Blackness overcame my vision as I closed my eyes, and for the first time since we had started our rocky, tumultuous relationship of prince and princess, I stopped denying fate, and accepted my place as the one she needed all along.
"Auntie Celestia!" I cried, in the shrillest, most grating voice I could manage, "That isn't even remotely fair to me, or anypony else of highborn blood sitting in this chamber, and you know it!" The accusation was chased with a harsh banging sound, and one that I knew my aunts were quite familiar with. The cold, varnished wood of the table resisted as expected while I ground my hoof into the surface as best I could, channeling a death glare at what some would describe as the sweetest creature to ever walk Equestria. I would describe her as a bloated, pampered swan with a mane resembling a chemical spill.
Soft, magenta eyes held my own icy gaze as she sat there, wings folded neatly against her sides while she considered my caustic accusation. Her expression was without judgement; her lips pulled taut as she carefully selected words to unravel my argument in a calm, reassuring manner. Always the same tactic, always adding a cold detachment, free of emotion as she danced for her subjects whilst sitting perfectly still in her gilded throne. It's amazing how hooves and necks need never move, when one can dance so gracefully with their tongue alone.
"Prince Vladimir Blueblood," she began. Always with the titles during a public forum. Not even Auntie Luna was spared being addressed as 'princess' by this posturing, pandering, problematic foal of a princess. "While I understand your concerns, and hear your displeasure, this matter has been discussed at length for the past two weeks, in council both public and private. The fact that Duke Shining Armor's proposal comes as a surprise to you, quite frankly, comes as a surprise to me. Why didn't you voice your opinion during any of the previous meetings?"
Because I wasn't paying a lick of attention during the previous meetings, you cake-gobbling cow, and you know it! The only reason I know know what's going on here is because I heard the terms 'nobles', 'taxes', and 'increase' in the same sentence! Damn you, Celestia!
The rush of blood to my cheeks was swift and obvious, a fact that drew the smallest of smirks from Shining Armor, who was sitting in his usual position at Celestia's right side. That smug bastard would get his in due time... but now, there was money involved, and that took priority!
"...Auntie. Let's be reasonable," I cooed, as I ran my foreleg along the low tabletop. A small indent in the shape of a hoof was plainly visible within the lacquered surface, which caused my blush to intensify. "Do you really need those extra bits for some... storm shelter , or whatever is being constructed with my hard-earned money?"
"...homeless shelter, dear, and yes, I do believe it necessary. It is high time that the Council of Nobility contributed something to Canterlot other than a weather report. I know it's quite easy to deliver one when your head is held so high, but the pegasi have it covered."
Shining Armor made an amused noise and brought a hoof to his face to suppress a laugh, barely managing to cover it with the least-convincing cough I'd heard since my last physical. I swear, the only noise more obnoxious than Celestia's voice in general was that bloated idiot's amused laugh. Nothing could make my blood boil faster, and my hoof found itself slammed into the table once again before I could control what I was doing. At least there was an indent to use as a guide, this time. I think it may have helped to make an even more impressive noise.
Celestia slowly rose from her chair, all smiles as she spread her wings, the feathery appendages broader than the body of an average pony. All at once, those in attendance stood, dipping their heads as they listened to her words. "If nopony has anything else to say on the matter, then I believe we can declare this forum cl-"
"Aunt Luna!" Oh, I wasn't done yet. I wouldn't surrender a single bit to the crown pansy and her entourage of do-gooders without a fight. "Don't you believe this to be a complete farce? You of all ponies should know that the royal treasury has more than enough bits to simply carry out this project without dipping its sticky hooves into my pockets. This affects you, too! You may be a princess, but you're also a noble! Stand up for your coinpurse!"
"No," the smaller princess simply replied, neither her body or face moving an inch.
" But-"
"I said no. " A wave of ice crept through my veins as her piercing, turquoise eyes locked with mine and traveled straight through to my soul. That mare had a way of telling you just how many ways she wanted you dead with nothing more than a simple glance. Aunt Luna had always favored expression and tone over word count when it came to expressing her opinions, a fact that brought her constant jabs from her ivory turkey of a sister.
"...Shining Armor's idea is reasonable," she added, before giving the smallest of nods to signal that she had finished speaking. That was about as helpful as it usually was, which is to say, it wasn't. Good old Aunt Luna. That left me only one other option...
"Cadance," I offered in a sweetened tone as I walked around the table, staring up the small flight of steps at my supposed 'sister'. "You've been awfully quiet this evening. Isn't there anything you would like to say?" It was a desperate gamble, and unlikely to succeed... but I am nothing if not a stallion to break new ground and make bold approaches to difficult problems.
"Yes, as a matter of fact..." The very pregnant pony took a careful step forward, and Shining Asshole was immediately at her side with a worried look. I do believe that had my eyes rolled any faster, my head would simply have removed itself from my body and begun to tumble down the hall.
"I hope that all those in need can find shelter and peace for the holidays and beyond. May this new structure being built serve as a first step to extending more love to those Canterlotians who need it most. The wealthy and privileged should never forget that others are not so fortunate, and that it is our responsibility to look out for them. After all, without a government that cares for its people, why have a government at all?" The youngest princess of the three finished her small speech with a smile, and, of course, it was met by thunderous stomping and cheering throughout the royal chambers. For once, I didn't bother to stomp in anger, instead more worried about the lurching in my stomach that signaled the loss of yet more money for a cause I couldn't care less about.
"That was beautiful, Princess Cadance. As I was saying, I believe we can conclude this forum, and walk forward together toward peace and prosperity for blah blah bloo blee bloo blah happiness and snuggles forever," is what I heard as I made my exit, furiously stomping upon Celestia's plush carpet while making my way out the door.
"...and Prince Blueblood, I would like a word with you, once everypony else leaves."
That, I definitely heard correctly. I immediately about-faced, only to regret the decision as I met Equestria's favorite couple face-to-face.
"Blueblood, looking as blue in the face as usual," Shining Armor mocked as he offered me a tiny salute. "Seriously, man, it's a .8% hit for a two-month period, and I'm taking it, too. Don't you have a heart in that flabby little chest of yours?"
The hoof prodding the edge of my frock was quickly slapped away by my own, only to draw another chuckle from the jester-turned-duke before me. That mirthful look in his eye ever since he'd finally managed to knock up Cadance made me want to rip his mane off and beat him to death with it, and his near-constant taunting when we were in public didn't help matters at all.
"Shiny... please, play nicely." There went Cadance, with her nuzzling and adoring looks while she attempted to reel in her husband. This had never happened before, in the history of the universe. "Vladimir will contribute, and in time, realize that partaking in the holiday spirit doesn't just have to be done during the holidays. Antagonizing him will only exacerbate the problem."
"Cadie, you know I'm just messing with him." Shining returned the nuzzle and entwined his hoof around Cadance's, holding her as though they'd been apart for ages. "Old Blue can take as well as he gives."
"I just wish the giving was voluntary , and I had been given warning," I spat, beginning to make my way past the pair and back toward Celestia.
"Good luck, Vladimir," Cadance offered as I walked. "Come by for tea, later. It's been far too long."
The only reply I deemed appropriate was a halfhearted grunt as I continued to move forward. I wasn't about to stop and admit that tea with Cadance was something I didn't mind, especially in front of Shining Armor. I couldn't imagine what quirky snipe he would have had just waiting to fly from his lips like a lawn dart constructed of sheer stupidity, and fortunately, I never found out. It was instead a different brand of stupidity that reached out and slapped me in the face next.
I always dreaded these moments, and I never understood her intentions. How could Aunt Celestia openly chide and mock me one moment, and ask me to stand at her side the next? Didn't she understand that I never cared for her 'softly, softly' approach, her disgusting, saccharine reassurances, and all of the airs she put upon for the public? Somewhere in there was a frustrated, angry pony, just like me, but I wasn't about to waste the time fighting to draw it out. All of these moments were a farce, and one that I would never willingly participate in... at first.
"Dearest nephew..." I never could decide which I'd come to despise more- 'dearest nephew', 'sweetheart', or... ugh, 'my little prince .' I suppose I'd have to go with the last one. "Is this matter really worth making such a fuss over? Do you remember what we've talked about, when it comes to your public image?"
Of course I remembered. Of course this was worth making a fuss about! Otherwise, I wouldn't have opened my mouth and wasted breath for the pedants staring in slack-jawed awe at the pretender before me!
"Yes, Auntie, I do," I answered with a sigh as I moved up the small set of stairs to sit before her, mere inches from the throne. I deserved to be sitting in that chair... but that would be a matter for another time. "But can't you understand how offensive I find it that a simple duke can play with the bits of a prince ? I didn't work to earn and maintain this title simply to be brushed aside like a dirty beggar and watch other ponies have their whims catered to!"
"Ruling," Celestia offered in a quiet whisper as she reached a hoof out to adjust my small tuxedo, "requires a balance of give and take. Voicing your mind, and holding your tongue. Stomping your hooves and crying out only when it is needed ," she punctuated with a look so poignant that I could feel my undercarriage shrinking back into my body, "and the cause is one worth championing, regardless of whether it is for yourself, or those around you." The alicorn finished with a pat to my chest, the ruffled bow tie now straight and proper, as it should always be. Such gestures of finality weren't enough to control my thoughts and lead me along like a good little sheep. They never had been, and they never would be.
"But this cause is one I care strongly about! It is not as though I act out at every gathering!"
"Mm... a fair point, though I would argue that it is rather difficult to act out when one is sleeping." Celestia stretched her wings and walked past, offering a nuzzle against the side of my neck. Every time this happened, I couldn't help but return the gesture, however faintly. No matter how often we fought, no matter how angry I was, the Royal Nuzzle had always had hypnotic power over my actions. I never understood just why.
"Now, my little prince, I know you do so love your bits, but kindly remember that you are not the only one dealing with this minor inconvenience. Is the problem that I do not pay you enough, and you are afraid that this will ruin you?"
Every red light, warning klaxon, and whistle present in my head spontaneously went off at once as Celestia began her gambit. She must have had somewhere to be, as this method of bringing me around was always a potent one, and the equivalent of her going straight for the jugular. I didn't need to be taught another lesson in 'budgeting' like last time.
"N-no, of course not! Such a paltry offering would hardly dent my resources! You know well enough that my estate is one to be admired, not pitied!"
"Then why complain?"
And so, she had me. Either insult her, insult myself, or agree and walk away. Neither of the first two options would end well for me, and so my jaw snapped shut. Isn't it funny how she would always preach that family is supposed to support each other and stand up for one another, but the majority of mine did nothing more than make me feel like a whiny foal on a regular basis? What is so wrong with looking out for number one?
The clacking of gold upon marble signaled Celestia's retreat as she began to move away from me, her singsong voice floating merrily through the air. "Do try to get in on the holiday spirit, nephew. Try doing something for one other than yourself or your family. See what happens. Happy Hearth's Warming, Vladimir."
"Hearth's Warming isn't for another two weeks, you... pony," I spat as I turned to face her, only to find the princess long gone. Was that really all I could manage?
It wasn't long before I found myself following my aunt out of the now-empty chambers, headed for destinations unknown as I pulled a pocket comb through my perfect mane. I'd always found hair-brushing to be conducive to my thought processes when I needed it most, and honestly- it often helped me to calm down. After all, everypony admired my mane, from family to officials to common street ilk, and certainly all the mares. Having something to be proud of when feeling somewhat low was always a bonus.
I do not know how long I wandered aimlessly, until a slight tickle brought upon a raucous sneeze. My head whipped toward the ground as I gave in to the involuntary embarrassment, only to find the sensation had been caused by a falling snowflake. When had I ended up outside? It didn't really matter, especially compared to the second strange sensation I felt that day as a hard impact slammed against my chest, forcing me to the snow below as I tumbled end over end and screamed.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
"Dude, I don't know what half of this shit is."
"That is because you don't need to know. It is the first and last time you'll eat it, so just enjoy the selection, though it is catered to a refined palette, and otherwise, keep your mouth closed ."
Moss flicked his ears, curiously looking over the sample platters arranged before him. The din of clacking utensils, scraping knives, and a dull roar of magical fire filled the air around us as we stood in the kitchen. With only that day and the following one to finalize my plans for the upcoming gala, preparations were in full swing, and the Royal Kitchens had become quite a very busy place to be indeed. Ponies rushed this way and that around me and my overwhelmed companion, and unicorn-powered trays levitated through the air as though riding invisible waves from one end of the workspace to the other. With the accompaniment of the scents from fresh spices and the ambient glow of fire against the stonework, the entire room appeared as though it was a scene from some magical fairytale. I half expected Moss to break into some insipid song about how appetizing the food was, but thankfully, by the grace of Celestia, such a thing was not to be.
"...the hell is tiara miso? I thought miso was a type of soup."
"Tiramisu ," I groaned, while rubbing my temples with a hoof. "It's a dessert, and it's quite good. Try it."
Moss reached forward with his hoof to take a chunk out of the expertly-prepared confection, but soon found it slapped away by my much larger foreleg.
"Use a fork, you idiotic ruffian! " I bellowed, drawing the attention that I was trying to avoid from the kitchen staff by stopping him from behaving like some sort of feral donkey.
"What happened to 'oh, I'm so sorry, Moss, be my best friend forever?'" The scolded stallion shook out his hoof with a half-grimace before reaching for a nearby fork and holding it somewhat like a dagger. I decided to simply let it go and watch as he made an unsightly, jagged digging motion into the dessert and brought it up to his lips before chewing with his mouth wide open. To think that that would be our guest of honor. I could scarcely imagine how much worse the other common rabble were.
"Mmph... 's gud," he sang between bites, earning a smile from one of the nearby guards-turned-chefs. I gave the light yellow pegasus a scathing glare, only to find him walking up to Moss as he wiped his hooves with a dish towel. I was completely convinced that the approach was made simply to irritate me.
"Glad you like it, we've all been working overtime to meet Mister Blueblood's specifications exactly."
I opened my mouth to object to the sad excuse for a title, but was quickly blocked by my companion's yammering, now accompanied by lip-smacking and other such unrefined stupidity for a welcome bonus.
"How long've ya been a chef? You ponies eat this sorta thing every day?" It quickly became clear from his wandering eyes and careful tone selection that Moss was yet again checking his conversational partner out, a fact that caused my eye to twitch and blood to boil. Couldn't he keep it to one mare, or stallion, as it were? The sheer indignity, especially with such a class difference... even if this other one was merely a common soldier.
"I haven't before yesterday. Flare," he offered, while extending his hoof. "Blueblood has us working around the clock, with help from some much more experienced ponies. Princess Luna gave him some guards to assist with preparations, and... this is what we got stuck with. Twelve hour shifts in a stifling kitchen, in full armor," he finished with a roll of his shoulders, the light plate clanking as it shifted.
"Sucks to be you. Hey, Blue- you're a bit of a douchebag, you know that?" Moss looked up at me while licking his hoof clean. I simply nodded, my mind elsewhere as I noticed something that I had quite clearly not specified to be prepared for the celebration. I wasn't angry at all as I trotted up to the small basket lined with a soft pink towel. Quite the contrary- I was ecstatic.
There, nestled securely within the soft pink folds were a dozen large, soft cookies, inlaid with chocolate chunks and silky smooth peanut butter swirls. I hesitantly lifted one up to my nose, inhaling the heavenly scent to confirm that they were, in fact, what I had hoped for. As I took a bite, a rush of orgasmic bliss overwhelmed my entire body as sweet nirvana flooded my taste buds. These were exactly what I'd thought they were- Cadenza's cookies.
"...means a lot to me, so I'm more than happy to be a part of it. I wasn't always a guard, you know. In fact, I was l-"
"Yo, Blue?" Moss interrupted, waving a hoof before my face. It wasn't until he struck me lightly across the snout that I came to, somewhat shocked and offended by the boorish gesture. "You in there? If you had a stroke, I get your money, right? Pretty sure no one else would care..."
"Yes, yes, best friend . Flare, was it?" I asked the confused guard as I turned the cookie over in my hoof, absorbing the details of the baked perfection before me. He nodded,his light purple mane bouncing a bit as he did so. "Where is Princess Cadance? Has she been down here with you?"
"Princess Cadance? Yes, she's been down here the past three days, working right alongside us. She's handling inventory and making sure we meet your quota," he replied with a bit of venom on the last word. I couldn't possibly imagine why.
I cast my gaze through the steam and smoke, trying to zero in on any errant trace of pink- though admittedly, with the pregnancy, it was more a grounded hot air balloon of pink- and found nothing. Somewhat disappointed, I let out an exasperated sigh as Moss and Flare began to talk again, before the pink quite abruptly found me .
"Guess who?" an angelic voice whispered as two hooves covered my vision. I barely managed to fight back an idiotic smile as I rose my own hoof to touch hers.
"The only mare in this castle that I care for."
"A sad truth, most days. Come to check up on things?" she asked, as I turned to face her. She was plump and perky, but still the epitome of beauty. The elegant, light purple apron tied tightly to her chest only added to the classical warmth in her slightly rounder than normal face, and her winning smile caused my heart to flutter. My Cadenza stood before me, sweating slightly, though whether it was from the heat within the damnable kitchen or just the strain of walking with such a heavy load beneath her, I didn't know.
"Actually, I came here just to see you, my dear," I lied. I took one of her soft hooves in mine and dipped my head low, planting a gentle kiss upon the smooth surface before letting it go to watch her blush. She always blushed for me. Never once had I seen her do so for Shining Armor... though of course, he wasn't cultured enough to treat her with such respect. A princess was to be cherished, after all.
"How sweet of you. Your little friend seems to be in heaven at the moment." Cadance pointed with an airy giggle to Moss, whose muzzle was covered in chocolate as Flare ran him down the list of what was being practiced within the kitchens. My eye twitched, and I came very close to snapping at her.
"He isn't..." I began, but thought better of it, "...doing badly at all. If anything, it's been a bit of a pleasure having him around." I forced a grin, and she bought it hook, line, and sinker. Cadance walked closer and put her hoof to my chest with a smile, looking up at me as she tilted her head.
"I knew you would come around. You have such a big heart... if only you would show it more." She dropped her hoof to the floor with a barely audible clatter amidst the noise in the cavernous room. I, of course, noticed.
"Perhaps, my fair lady. Shall we leave this heat behind for a spell? You look exhausted, and my... friend will be quite fine on his own," I added with a sidelong glance at the stallion gorging himself upon freshly-baked garlic bread. What would normally have been annoyance at the sight was instead replaced with... I'm not exactly sure what. It was a light sensation in my heart, and a humbling one. It was then that I realized that this taste-testing was probably the closest thing the stallion had had to a proper meal in months. It would have been much easier to find sympathetic had it been anypony else, but still- did he not at least deserve to eat? He was nearly skeletal, after all.
"If you insist. I wouldn't mind a break for tea. May I lean on you? My hooves are quite sore..."
I leapt at the chance and moved right up alongside the tired mare, willing to play support and whatever other role might need fulfilling. Cadance pressed into my side with a weak smile, and I was somewhat taken aback by the weight against my ribs as she leaned. Surely, the foal must have been due within weeks, if not days...
"You really shouldn't be down here, working yourself so hard. Let the commoners take care of things. This celebration is for you just as much as your husband," I began, as we walked out of the sweltering kitchen and onto the plushy carpet of the halls.
"No, it really isn't." Cadance rolled her eyes and playfully hit my chest. "Besides... I need to be useful somehow . I'm tired of being cooped up in my bedchambers, being waited on day by day. It was fun for the first month or so, but now... I just hate being so immobile," she lamented.
"I can understand that. You've always been one of the hardest workers within the castle. Your cookies are delightful as ever, by the way." I moved forward to hold the door open for her, and absolutely did not watch her flank as she waddled inside.
"Thank you... but it's torture, Vladimir. The usual for tea?"
"Of course." I closed the door behind us and made my way to my spot upon her couch, propping up several throw pillows for her to sink into upon her return. The sound of igniting flames left the kitchen as Cadance moved back into the living room and slowly climbed up to join me upon the sofa. I took her hooves in mine and assisted her, and for the briefest moment, we locked eyes. A tacit communication took place, and in that moment, I knew that she was thinking the same thing I was. She must have been.
"...you're still beautiful, you know."
Cadance paused, somewhat surprised by the statement. After several uncomfortable seconds of silence, she moved to lay upon her side, her forehooves extended toward me. I took them each in turn and began a gentle massage, unsure of what else to say. Thankfully, the next move was hers.
"...thank you." And that was the end of it, as she breathed a sigh. Perhaps I was wrong. "You always give the best massages."
"The best?" I asked, my interest piqued. Did she mean...?
"Well... very near to it, yes," she answered with a smile. My spirits sank as the tea began to whistle, and I hopped off the couch.
"Allow me."
I dragged my hooves onward and into the kitchen before extinguishing the floating flames beneath the tea kettle. It seemed that my princess would never truly be mine... unless, of course, those assassins made their move. My thoughts drifted back to the newspaper article from earlier in the week, and an uneasy feeling rose within the pit of my stomach as I mulled over what I could remember. Something didn't add up. Something was off... but I couldn't think of any explanation as to how. With an irritated snort, I added peppermint and honey to the freshly prepared mugs of tea before trotting back to the couch and handing Cadance her mixture. She accepted with a smile before blowing upon the surface, her eyes somewhat unfocused.
"Is everything alright?" I inquired.
Cadance finished her sip and cast a sorrowful look over to me as I set my cup down and resumed the massage. "Vladimir... you know that I care for you very much, yes?"
"Of course I do. I would never question that," I said. My hooves began to rub hers with a bit more force, wondering where her train of thought was going. She let out a wistful sigh before setting down her tea and stopping the massage by putting both of her hooves atop one of mine. As she held my gaze, her words were slow and careful, her tone so unlike the cheerful, bubbly princess I knew.
"I am sorry. I am sorry that we didn't meet sooner... but some things were never meant to be. I know some day soon you'll find yourself a mare. You're a wonderful stallion, and I know that it's only a matter of time before somepony else sees it, too..."
I didn't know what to say, and so I said nothing at all. I sat sipping my tea until it was finished, idly rubbing her hooves as my mind simply... existed. For some reason, her statements carried with them a sense of finality, but none of her optimism was successfully conveyed. Something needed to be done.
"...I suppose I should check over that inventory list. After all, you spent quite a bit of time checking to make sure that it was up to par. Will you be alright on your own, Cadenza?"
A heavy sigh chased my words as she brushed her long locks back behind her ear and re-folded her hooves atop one of the pillows. "Yes, of course... and I hope you will be, too. Thank you for setting up this celebration, Vladimir. I'm sure Shining is going to love it."
I fought back the snort trying to escape me as I made for the door, adjusting my bow tie as I walked. I rested my hoof upon the handle and gave it a sharp turn, not bothering to look back. "Oh yes... I'm sure that he will."
I stepped out into the hallway and gently closed the door behind me, my mind spinning rapidly through possibilities and solutions. As I stomped back toward my room, her sweet voice echoed through my skull over and over, without ceasing. Perhaps Cadenza was right.
Some things were never meant to be.
Every Prince Deserves a Princess
Moss and I trekked down the gentle path in silence, headed for the unknown forest below. Tiny pebbles scattered beneath my worn, bloody hooves, and my eyes chased the rolling fragments of rock as they tumbled haphazardly down the mountain. To slip or stumble would have been a death sentence, as lines of jagged rock akin to shattered glass rose up from parts below, painting a picture of stony teeth around the various protrusions of the gigantic earth. Moss weaved skillfully through the sparse foliage and loose collections of boulders, while I squeezed clumsily through the more questionable parts of the path and found myself unable to keep up. After a decent period of my captor being forced to slow down for me time and again, she turned and regarded me with a harsh glare.
"What the hell's your problem? Too used to plush carpet to walk on a few rocks?"
I huffed while wiping a bead of sweat from my dirty, bloodstained mane. The filth and grime was likely never to come out... assuming I'd live to my next shower. "Perhaps, or maybe I'm simply too stressed and preoccupied by the disgusting bug who captured and threatened me to focus. Whatever your plan for me is, I doubt it involves keeping me alive for long. You expect me to willingly cooperate under such circumstances?"
Moss rolled his eyes and reached into the duffel bag. The dark blue fabric twisted and warped as he pulled his signature vest from the luggage, and my heartstrings tugged the faintest bit. I looked away, mentally berating myself for so foolishly becoming attached to him. He wasn't real . My only love was the mare who'd spurned me time and again, and the mare whom I would never get to see one last time...
"You're stressed and preoccupied? Shining Armor leaving the cave fucked up everything , thanks to my mother's incompetence. Don't give me that judgmental, accusatory look, you pompous ass. If it wasn't for her, if I had been in charge all those years ago, there would've been no need for any of this. There could've been a peaceful, yet tense, negotiation, and everyone would live. It's too late for that, now."
"Peaceful negotiation? " I asked, my tone dripping with incredulity. "You sincerely expect me to believe that anything even remotely resembling peace has been on your mind at any point in life?"
Moss approached, a predatory glint in her eye. I watched in horror as she strutted forth, her upper lip curling into a snarl and revealing mismatched fangs. The scent of carrion reached my nostrils, and I saw Moss for the beast she truly was- the very changeling princess who delighted in my suffering... and who had presently backed me into a rock. I cowered against the stone, hoping and praying that it would shield me from the princess as she began to speak in a harsh, low tone.
"Chrysalis is the reason that my people are the way they are. She set the standard for our bloodthirsty nature, and she alone ordered the infiltration of Shining Armor's wedding. Don't you think a changeling of a different color would have been noticed among the crowd? Did you hear any reports of an orange mane and violet eyes?"
I looked up at Moss, her eyes flashing to Instar's threatening purple hue as she spoke. Upon wracking my brain, I came to the conclusion that no such mention had been made, and I had read all of the documents and eyewitness reports regarding the wedding, at Shining Armor's request.
"...no. There's no such record, and I of all ponies would know. In fact, there's no record at all of changelings with differentiated manes, eyes, or carapaces."
"That's because no others exist. I'm unique, in this era." Moss backed off and withdrew a cigarette from her jacket. A violet flash erupted from her forehead, where a horn would be had she been a unicorn, and lit the small stick with a controlled burst. "I wasn't there, because I spoke out against her stupid ass idea. Look where it got us. Look where we are, where you are now."
I blinked in confusion, trying to keep up with her words and unravel her meaning. So many questions swam through my mind, not the least of which was how I mattered in her grand scheme and laundry list of complaints about her mother. Upon thinking better of focusing the conversation on myself, I decided to show interest in a bid to gain her favor, at least temporarily.
"In this era? What do you mean?"
"I mean, in this era . All other changelings alive share my mother's color scheme. At the rate we're going, there will never be another shift, unless I act now . Hopefully, her useless, aging carcass can deal with whatever straggling royal guards enter the cave from the lake. Come on, we've got work to do." Moss reached down and gripped my collar before pulling harshly. My bow tie almost snapped, but I reached my hoof down and clasped her own firmly. She stopped pulling, and our eyes met- both sets hardened and determined.
"That was a gift from my Auntie. Don't you dare ."
"You think I give a shit? Get moving, and your precious little tie can live," Moss snarled through grit teeth. She shoved the silk, tattered accent into my chest and whirled, taking off at a decent clip. I struggled to keep up, and keep our conversation going for the sake of my sanity, and gathering information in case I somehow made it out alive.
"How many other cave entrances are there? What if the guard comes through the back, or side?"
"There are several. At least six, by my count, and I don't care if they find a way in and ambush her. She can die down there, as long as she stalls them. We'll be long gone by then." Moss skillfully hopped over a small crevasse in the rocks as she wound her way down to the treeline, and I soon stumbled over the small gap to a round of sarcastic applause. I paused to catch my breath while Moss leaned upon a tree and looked back up at the mountain. I turned to look as well, noting that, despite the situation and imposing edges, the sight had a rare, natural beauty to it. If only I had known what was inside earlier...
"Alright. We're down the mountain, and into a forest. Where are we going?" I began.
"To meet up with my brothers." Moss snuffed the spent cigarette against a tree trunk, showing little concern for the safety of the forest. Such an action didn't surprise me, though it did raise a few questions.
"What, no sisters? How ever will I get laid tonight?"
"Tch. Very funny, asshole. As for that second part, behave yourself, and you just might. I've got a lot on my mind."
I blinked, balked, and felt the urge to retch. Why would this creature offer such a thing, after I already knew her secret, and had been declared her enemy? To what benefit did indulging such base urges with me would she be searching...?
"You're not serious."
"I don't often joke. Hurry it up, Blueballs. I wanna hit the village by nightfall." Moss smoothed out her mane and took off at a run, leaving me to weave through the trees alone in the coming twilight. I briefly wondered if I'd be able to flee without getting caught, but the prospect that some of her 'brothers' were watching seemed quite likely, and so I followed to the best of my ability. The sound of leaves being kicked up soon became my only clue of my regretful companion's whereabouts as the sun began to set, casting long, dark shadows between the trees and painting the sky a mournful purple. I may or may not have ran into the odd tree or two as I watched the moon rise slowly into the sky, drawing unwelcome thoughts upward within my mind.
Auntie Luna. I had been so very, very wrong, and in her own, frigid way, she had cared for me. Would I ever get the chance to apologize? Since when had apologies become such a priority? Perhaps it had been when I'd realized that for all of my money and what little 'real' experience I had garnered, Instar had so harshly reminded me that immortality couldn't be bought or won...
"Just up ahead! Look for a fire pit!"
I craned my neck to find Moss' location, but came up with nothing as I brushed aside a few small plants. A glint of orange met my vision as I continued to push through the foliage, collecting twigs and leaves in my coat and mane. It wasn't long before I arrived at a primitive looking camp site, situated in front of yet another filthy cave. Instar stood with two other, far shorter changelings, both male and sporting a coloration that echoed Chrysalis. The twins merely smiled at me as Instar twirled her blazing mane around one of her notched hooves, while gesturing toward the cave entrance with her head.
"Took you long enough. Follow us inside, and we'll settle in for the night. Tomorrow, we move to a more... permanent network of caves."
"I simply cannot wait," I sighed. Instar didn't reply, only turning to sashay into the mouth of the cave, her cohorts trailing behind her. The cheeky succubus had her strut down to an art. Her tail of wispy orange strands swished back and forth with each careful, graceful movement, showing just enough of her backside to be enticing. I found myself thinking impure thoughts, followed by thoughts of absolute disgust with myself at her display... but then again, who was I kidding? I had never been the most wholesome individual. In any case, Instar was a master of her craft of seduction, and I could slowly begin to feel the threads of her complicated web ensnaring me. She lead, and I followed, time and time again, with the abuse and masochism reaching new heights at each interval.
Down, down, and farther down we walked, the cave turning subterranean quite quickly. The narrow tunnel that the four of us occupied slowly began to get wider as we traveled, and eventually opened to a large chamber with a sizable drop off several feet from the entrance. A deafening roar of buzzing echoed from below us, and I shuddered while thinking of the possibilities as to the source. It didn't take long for me to get my answer as I peered over the edge of the precipice, only to see what must have been around three hundred changeling drones, all gathered upon the cave floor and buzzing away. Instar took her place at my side, glaring down at her subjects, all of which sported a coloration akin to that of Chrysalis. Upon seeing their princess, every bug in the room went silent, and I didn't dare speak.
"...brothers," she began. "There's been a... situation . Our mother, the vile, incompetent witch, has put us in yet another bind."
I watched the throng of changelings below to get a feel for their feelings on the supposed news, and it took only seconds to see that their feelings were unanimous. Various drones gnashed their teeth, buzzed their wings, stomped, or hissed, and Instar allowed it... for a time. As she drew her hoof across her neck in a slow, deliberate motion, the room once again fell to absolute silence. It was very clear whom the drones respected...
"That being said, my plan is still in motion. Despite her every attempt to spite us, we can move forward. By next week, we will have the Princess Mi Amore Cadenza within our grasp, and this unicorn is going to help us acquire her... or he will serve as food."
Several changelings jumped toward the ledge that we stood upon, and the two at Instar's side glanced at me with looks betraying insatiable hunger. I swallowed hard and looked away. Instar backed away from the ledge with a dismissing hoof motion, and her drones stirred into a frenzy once again. I spared one last glance over the side of the small cliff before tucking my tail between my legs and following her, the alternative apparently being my consumption .
Instar retreated back into the tunnel we had come through originally, and took a different path off to the side. I pursued, doing my best to strike some sort of conversation to get my mind off the maddening din of clicking and buzzing.
"Your brothers... they wouldn't move without your command, would they...?"
"They wouldn't dare ," she replied, the last word spoken harshly. I offered her a slow nod, looking a bit relieved as Instar sat down upon the rocky floor of a new, smaller chamber. Only she and I occupied the space, and her expression of anger was cast downward at the rock, instead of me. I searched her eyes for anything other than the emotions I had seen to that point, and came away only with a sense that she was frustrated. Despite myself, I wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted to know what could cause her to be upset after claiming the prize that was me, and escaping the royal guard for the night. Once again, I perused my observations from earlier that night, and something finally clicked. Chrysalis had said that there were only 300 or so changelings left worldwide, and Instar had said that they were all 'here'. I hadn't seen a single mane among the lot of them.
"...the comment that I made earlier. You have no sisters, do you?"
Instar looked up at me, after having transitioned to laying upon the cold floor. There was a new sort of emotion within her strange, violet hues as she spoke, the harshness in her voice replaced by an odd determination. "Perceptive, aren't we? That's correct. Bar Chrysalis, I am the only female changeling left alive. What you've seen here is all that's left, and it's up to me to save them, using your precious little princess."