The Buck?View OnlineLunar madnessThe Buck?Authors note: DP-Bomb means, (Dairy Product-Bomb.) The two princesses and Elements of Harmony stood in front of the mix-matched web-work of chaos incarnate. Discord, still frozen in a stae of fear could only glance at them before succumbing to the strain on his eyes. "Discord." Celestia said. "Oh! Hello Celly and little Loony-Whoona! What brings you here Celly? Come to tease me with chocolate milk and cake? Or did you finally come to your senses seeing I’m innocent?" "We've come to make a deal." "Oh? And what, might I ask can you give me?" "Freedom." "What the buck? Are you serious?" "Yes, quite. Now do you agree?" "What's the catch? I know when there's one, I’m the one who practically made them." "Somepony has to watch you. Until you can behave, somepony will guide you along." "Sure treat me like I'm the animal. All I wanted to do was make all of your lives interesting, I mean, so what if I filled the castle with cheese? It’s Swiss, after all who doesn’t like Swiss?" "You knew full and well I am lactose-intolerant." "Aren't we getting off topic? You were about to let the dog out on a leash." "Yes, now then, which of you will be honored to keep him?" She said turning to the mane six, all of which even pinkie shook their heads. "Pinkie? Why don't you want me?" Asked Discord confused. "I'm sorry but, Mr. and Mrs. Cake said I can't have any colts in my room. I would take you if I could." "It's alright dear, nothing to be sorry for. I know the feeling personally." "Do you want out or not?" "Yes! Of course I do! Now let me out!" "You must promise." "Alright I promise now-" "Pinkie promise." "...Fine, how does it go?" "Like this silly. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Demonstrated pinkie. "I pinkie promise, to not cause any unnecessary chaos upon release. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." "Good, now to let you out." Said Celestia almost too serene. Applejack looked at Celestia who gave a nod. "Hey why aren't you-" He didn't have time to finish before a pair of blonde hooves struck the area where his most precious assets are. Now the un-frozen body of chaos was groaning on the ground glaring at the white alicorn. "Consider that payment for the cheese." "Curse you Trollestia." He growled. "Yes, yes it's all fun and games before somepony gets hurt. Now then, since none of the elements can take you... it shall be Luna." "What!? Why me? Is this for eating you're cake?" She asked narrowing her eyes. "No, no sister. He cannot go with the elements, and I cannot have him near me. We do have a certain rivalry." "It looks like were bunk buddies! So do you want the top or bottom bunk?" "I am not sharing a bed with you." "Why? I know to keep my paw and talon to myself." "That's not what I meant!" She said while her cheeks turned a dark purple. "So I guess I’m sleeping outside or in a hall?" "Actually you have your own room." His eyebrows rose to this. “Me? My own room? Well this is a shocker… oh no! I need to get my stuff!" Before anypony could respond he teleported away and in a few seconds reappeared with a box and a pair of sunglasses on. Rainbow Dash flew right up to him nearly putting her eye's to his shades. "What did you do!?" She demanded. "I got my things from Celly and Luna's old castle, see?" He said reaching in not looking before pulling out a teddy bear. "Bwahahaha! You have a teddy bear!" Rainbow burst out laughing. "Well atleast I don't have a Wonderbolt filly's only magazine under my bed." He said smirking at her expression. "I-I do not have any of those!" "Then what's this?" He said opening a shining portal only to reach in and pull out a small amount of cloud and magazine. "Not mine!" "Yes, yes of course. But be honest, who hasn't thought about this sort of thing?" He said looking at the cover before his sunglasses raised themselves. "Celestia! You didn't tell me you were a model!" The sun goddess quickly turned a bright shade of pink before working her mouth like a fish out of water. All the ponies were staring at her wide eyed and slack-jawed before she flew away. Luna only said one thing, still trying to comprehend what was happening. "She’s a model?" "I know! Why didn't they ask me?" Said Discord in mock surprise. "Can we go now princess? I don't want to keep Spike waiting." Said Twilight calmly, even though her pupils were dilated and her mane a mess. "You-" "No! Hold on, just for one minute!" Yelled Discord. "What is it now?" "I need to do this first." He said snapping his fingers only to have a statue Twilight appear for him to dance on. "Awwww, no fair, how come he gets to do that?" Asked Pinkie with her hair deflating. "Don't be sad, be glad!" Said Discord only to make a second statue appear. "What the buck Discord?" Sighed Twilight. "Now I didn't forget about you, I think you deserve some payback, after all. Consider this an act of good-will." He snapped his fingers again only to have a statue him appear under Twilight. "What the-Discord!" Yelled Twilight startled by the sudden change in height. "Come on dance!" He cheered. "Put me down. Now." "Alright, alright don't get your horn in a twist." As she was safely teleported to the ground, the rest of the group only could think of one thing to say. "Why would you think I wanted to dance on you?" "Enough! Discord, come we have much to discuss." Said Luna impatiently. He immediately teleported in front of her saluting. "Yes, mam, ham!" "Discord I will show you to your room. Twilight and friends you may go." Before any of them could say a good-bye she teleported them back to Ponyville. Luna started ahead keeping a forward eye while Discord hovered over-head. The halls still smell like cheese from when Discord dropped his "DP-Bomb" on the castle. Luna made her way past the Throne room, the kitchen and guards cleaning area. Only to arrive at- "These are yours and Celly's rooms." Discord Announced in amusement. "Yes, and you shall be in the room in front of ours." "He turned around only to be greeted by two wooden doors, one made of maple and the other pine." Luna tilted her head in confusion at his comment. "How did you know what wood they were made of? And why are you narrating it?" "Because I’m discord, nuff said." She face-hooved. "Well go in and do what you want, I’ve actually got responsibilities." "Ya, bye." He said looking at the doors, eyes glazed over. She teleported away to her tower to lower the moon and after that attend night court. As he stepped in, he wore a smile rivaling Pinkie's when she found a cotton candy cloud raining Chocolate milk. The room was empty, aside from a lone bed. "Perfect." He murmured before cracking his knuckles.
Renovations, chocolate milk and favors.View OnlineLunar madnessRenovations, chocolate milk and favors.Luna shuddered, while Celestia glared even more at the wall in front of the Throne room. For the past four hours, Discord had been making an almost intolerable ruckus, and whenever they told him to keep it down, he would tell them he's renovating his space. "Are you sure we can't put up a sound dimming spell on his door?" Asked Luna now rubbing her head from the migrain she was sporting. "No, we cannot. As much as we both would like to, we can't let our guard down for a second." "What’s he really going to do? Make it rain pie and ants?" Before either of them could reply, a storm cloud formed over them, it was a sickly green from the usual pink. And down came one pie, landing gracefully with a light shining down with a quire in the background. Luna received a moon-pie and two fortune cookies. "I don't trust this." Celestia said putting a shield around the pie. "I think it's delicious!" Said Luna with the whole moon-pie stuffed in her gut already. "And look, he gave us fortune cookies." "If snakes, ants or anything pops out I'm sending him to the moon." Celestia said eying the treats. "Oh relax I know not to pull any jokes. I’m not stupid, I’m crazy! And there is a difference." Discord nearly yelled, standing on the ceiling. "You had better be telling the truth." Discord gave a standard shoulder slouch and sigh. "Here, if you don't believe me I’ll cut it. And by the way it's blackberry." He jumped down and picked up the pie while pulling out a pie slicer from thin air. Celestia with a shield around her and Luna watched as it broke the crust. Only to not do anything. "See? Once you get some sense into your little white head, you'll see I mean no harm. Although i never did mean any harm, just jokes and fun." "I'm allergic to Blackberry." Celestia said angrily. One of his eyebrows raised in response. "Really? i thought it was Raspberries you couldn't have. Eh, can't please everyone I guess." He said before swallowing the whole pie. "Discord, thank you for the moon-pie. And what are you doing in there? I’m starting to get a head-ache from it." "Oh, I actually just finished! I sent the food as a sort of sorry for the noise. I think you'll find it to my taste, and two princesses." Both of them raised an eyebrow to the last part. "How could anything you like we like?" Celestia asked out of confusion. He simply pointed at Luna's plate before teleporting away. "I guess we're following him." Said Celestia, rolling her eyes before teleporting them both to his room. The first thing they saw, were the sand slides. Next the miniature chocolate fountains resting on the tops of his bed posts, with glasses lining the walls. And Discord sitting at a desk scribbling in a book with a licorice pen. "Discord, how does any of this even close to what we like?" Celestia asked. "Look up, and then down." He said without turning around. They both looked up and the two princess’s eyes widened. It was the night sky with a full crescent moon covered slightly by two clouds and one to the side. When they looked down they had to squint there eye's, it was a dance floor with a picture of the sun in each tile. "You jelly?" Discord asked the two princesses. "Discord...What... How did you do this?" Celestia asked staring at his amazed expression. "Remember, I’m chaos. I don't follow the rules very well." "Discord is that my cutie mark?" Said Luna, looking up at the ceiling. "Yes, yes it is. I chose your night sky to see each time before bed, because it is what i live for. What I’ve tried to do ever since my existence, and you've been doing since yours." "But I don't cause chaos." She said looking away. "Oh, on the contrary you do! Your night is a mess of stars, but it also is in perfect harmony with it, your stars are scattered while at the same time they make wonderful pictures. I would say it's the world's greatest painting." "Please, you hate harmony. Why would you try and make peace with it?" Celestia said. "I do hate it; but I hate it only when it's forced. What I try and do is cause chaos and wait for harmony to naturally come back." "So you cause strife to cause harmony?" Luna asked. "Exactly! And that is the sole reason why I made my "New Ponyville," that's why I took the element's, and that's why I changed all of Twilight's friends including herself mind you, to come beat me! It was the master plan! Because I still got what i wanted- no, what I needed!" "So you turned the world into a mess so you could get turned to stone? That doesn't sound like a decent plan." Luna said. "And what would either of you two know of my plans?" "What plans?" Celestia asked pointing her horn at him who simply put a cork on it. "I didn't say I had any, I said what do you two know of any of my plans? Wait I just came up with one!" "And what is it? As if you’re going to say." "I'm going to Ponyville to apologize to Twilight, and the rest of the town. OK maybe not the entire town... Yet." Before he could teleport Celestia stopped him. "You are not going anywhere!" "Your right! I need a disguise!" He said jumping behind a Japonynese changing screen. Only to come out wearing a two piece bikini, next a chicken suit and Celestia wearing the two piece. "Alright now this is ridiculous even for me." He said in disgust before just snapping his fingers. He changed into a grey unicorn stallion, with a black mane, one yellow eye and one red, a red tail ending with a patch of white and finally big puffs of white hair covering his hooves. "Eugh! Just being, normal is horrible. How do you pony's stand this?" He said looking at his new hooves. "With our hooves." Celestia said eliciting a frustrated look from him. "Hey, corny jokes are my shtick! Now, I need to go visit some old frenimies, Arreviderci." And he was gone in a flash. "I was expecting something to happen as soon as we came in." Luna said walking towards the door. As soon as she opened it, a barrage of chocolate milk made its way in and exploded
How much do you buck them?View OnlineLunar madnessHow much do you buck them?Applejack was as usual, bucking apple while her little sister came with the basket, caught them and went to Big Mac for him to deliver. "Few, ah think were done for taday' you agree Mac?" She said wiping sweat off her brow. "Eeyup." Came his usual two part response. "Aright go over and pack it up. ah'm gounna' go take a break." "Hey sis' is it alright if I go meet with Scootaloo and Sweetie now?" Squeaked the little red-maned filly. "Sure, and ah don't want to pay for another wrecked house, ya'hear?" "That was only... what comes after thirty-seven?" "Thirty eight, little girl." Said a mysterious stallion hanging from the tree. "Hey, what are ya doin in mah tree? I have enough lip from Rainbow as it is, and ah don't need ah unicorn either. Now get down before I buck ya down." Said applejack ready to buck him out of the tree. "I bet that’s what you say to all the colts. But don't worry, I’m just here to give you a favor, no need for violence. After all you're the one that turned me to stone." "What are you-you! What are yah doin' on mah' farm you pesky varmint!" "I'm here to offer my services, one favor from me. No catches, no take backs and no backing out. And just because I did so much harm to your family and business, I’ll throw in a second for free. Does that sound fair?" "Ah suppose. What are you willin' to do?" "Anything you ask of me, so what is it?" She didn't know what she wanted him to do. Or even if she could trust him. "It should not be that hard! Why don't you let me fix up that barn and let me put an anti-bug charm on your orchard?" "Really? You can do that?" "I'm the spirit of chaos, of course I can do something as measly as that." "Alright, but you do the barn by hoof. No magik' and no powers." "Fine, but I’ll put the charm up last. So where is it?" He said using his magic to walk on the air. "See the big red thang over there?" She said pointing over to the barn, in plain sight. "Ah, yes! That’s it isn't it? So are there any supplies? Wood, paint? What?" "No, we can't afford any yet." He looked as if he was about to have a heart attack. "No supplies, huh? I’ll be right back!" She watched as he ran straight into the- "No! That’s the Everfree! I got to go tell twi' quick!" She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, sometimes accidently bucking sending her jumping. It was only minutes before she was in Ponyville running closely to a few ponies. "Twi! Twi! Where are you?" She asked frantically. "She's at the library as usual, why did you need to see her?" Asked the only known drake in Ponyville. "Because Spike, Discord's gone an' run into the Everfree!" "What! Discord's out!?" Spike yelled out making the entire town stop to look at them. "I don't know! But some colt jest’ ran into the forest, now hop on and hold on!" He instinctively jumped on and held onto her front ponytail, before he was being pulled back by the wind. They came across a small street filled with carts. She stopped and looked to find an opening to find none. So she backed up and ran forward jumping onto the side of a building and bucking as soon as she made contact. After catching her breath she sped away from the looks all the other ponies were giving. Before long from jumping carts, ponies, going through a cart and knocking over two ponies she made it to the hollowed out tree, of Ponyville's resident shut-in. She burst through the locked door, bucking it off its hinges. "Twilight! Ah need your help now!" Applejack yelled. She was soon greeted by Twilight falling from the ceiling and landing on the floor with a thud. "Applejack! You could have knocked; I only expect my door to be knocked off the hinges by pinkie or Rainbowdash. I don't need a third." She said rubbing her sore bottom. "Twi! There was this colt! Ran! Everfree! Ah-" "Applejack, slow down and tell me what's wrong." "There was this here' colt in one of mah tree's and he promised to help fix mah' barn. So when ah' said we didn't have any wood he ran off into the forest." "What!? Some colt ran into the forest and you didn't try to stop him?" She asked Shocked. "No! Ah' couldn't he went off faster than a greased pig in a lighten' storm!" "We need to go get him! What if he gets hurt!?" "We should be worried about what he could do to the forest." "What does that mean?" "Discord ran into the forest!" "Nonononononono! What if he gets hurt! What if the princess finds out!? I don't want to be sent back to magic kindergarten!" "Well come on then! Let’s get movin'!" As they both raced to Sweetapple Acres they both heard howls coming from the edge of town. Followed by a mob of ponies running and screaming. And then three filly's and a unicorn colt. Which were also followed by a pack of Timberwolves. "Twilight dear! What pleasure seeing you not grey, would you mind getting these three out of here?" "Discord what did you do?" "Yell later! Magic first!" She rolled her eyes and teleported the three fillies behind them and the Timber wolves back twenty steps. "Thank you dear, now I can explain, but later. Now we need to get them out of here, any suggestions?" "Why did you take Applebloom and her friends into the forest!?" Yelled Applejack. "I didn't do it intentionally, they followed me!" "Not the time or place! Now focus!" Twilight screamed. "Alright I say it's time to go get some firewood!" Said Applejack before bolting to confront the wolves. She bucked the one closest to her sending it into another. When they both got up from the sudden front attack they began circling her. "Come on ya' varmint’s that all Ya' got!?" One of the five charged her receiving its head cracking and another for an open attack. It bit into her rear leg before backing off. Now all five were closing in, one jumped, jaws wide, right at her throat. And she waited and waited and waited. When she thought it was over she opened her eyes to see Discord at his full height, with a Timberwolf latched on his arm. "You will not hurt any of them you overgrown logs!" He yelled throwing the wolf away. "Ah' thought you didn't harm anything?" Asked Applejack getting back up. "I never said I couldn't hurt what I made, now did I?" "What's-look out!" She yelled, pointing at a Timberwolf charging for his tail. He snapped his fingers and caught it midair shooting a stone slab into its throat. "Now this isn't very fair. I think I’ll put them up against something to be reckoned with, don't you agree Applejack?" She didn't answer before he could snap his fingers causing the ground to shake; storm clouds form and fire to gather around him. "There Tmberwolves, so let's see them fight an army of Nature's Pack." He snapped his fingers and the fire came down making wolf shaped front legs, next the storm clouds came down and made the torso, rock to form the head's, and lastly metal from nearby chairs to make the back legs. In total there were five Timberwolves versus thirty Nature's Pack. The wooden wolves snarled before running off while being chased by ten of the Nature’s Pack. Discord crossed his arms with a satisfied smirk. "And that ladies and Gentlecolt's is how you-oh dear this isn’t good." Behind them were the group of ponies that were running from before, who were now staring at the ponies, hybrid wolves and draconequis. "Ok, I swear there is a perfectly chaotic explanation for this." He said raising his arms in defense. Before snapping his fingers making them fall asleep. "Discord, what did you do!?" Twilight nearly did in a perfect replica of the Royal Canterlot voice. "Relax, borelightsparkle, there asleep. I’m just going to put them in their beds put their stuff back and in the end they'll think it was just a dream." "But they all saw it!" "Just tell them it was a rare magical occurrence that happens every thousand years or some mumbo jumbo. You’re great with that." "Little help here partner." Applejack asked trying to stand. "Of course." He snapped his fingers healing her. "Much appreciated." She tipped her hat before realizing who she just thanked. "Wait, you caused this!" "For the last time, your daughter and her friends followed me!" "She's not mah' daughter, she's mah' lil' sister. And Ya know what else?" He gave an involuntary sigh. "What? Are you going to yell at me for breaking the laws of nature?" "Just that bug repellent will do." "Alright, here." He snapped his finger's before a blue cloud covered the acres and disappeared. "All done." "That's it?" "That's it." He simply replied. "Now then," he began again, "To commit more good deeds!" He said heroically before turning into a pegasus and making a mad dash up. "Weirdo." Applejack muttered before walking back to her farm.
That was bucking fast.View OnlineLunar madnessThat was bucking fast.Discord flew up into the regular pegasai airspace and surprisingly not a single one was out. "Huh, must have been my good looks. Not everyone can handle such gorgeousness at one time." "No, you feather brain. There’s a storm scheduled today, but it seems somepony got smart and moved the entire field." Said a high-pitched tomboyish voice. "Now is that any way to talk to a stranger?" He said turning around trying not to laugh at his new plan. "Huh? Oh sorry you must be new, well as you know now there was supposed to be a storm today at three, but somepony moved all the clouds. So, what's your name?" "I could ask the same thing." Her face slowly curled into a smile. "I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria and best young-flier." "Never heard of you." He dead-panned with the most bored expression he could muster. "What!? I’m the only one who's done a sonic rain boom, I helped save the princesses and Canterlot and I even helped save the world twice. How have you not heard of me?" "Because, you’re not the only one who can do a sonic rain boom. There is one other." "Who? I’ve got to know so I can show them who's the fastest." "Come here." He said looking to the sides motioning her to come closer. She moved closer until they were nearly muzzle to muzzle. "Who is it?" "Me." She backed away with a straight face before bursting out with laughter like a hyena. "Bwahahah! That's a good one! Oh, you actually had me there for a second." "I'm not kidding. And that is certainly not any way to treat your elder is it?" "Oh, sorry about that, but seourisly; you, do a sonic rain boom? Please, be my guest, show me." "If you insist... Ugh which way is your house?" "Why do you want to know that?" "Because I’m going to take us to the porch to talk of a favor I’m giving you." "If you’re hitting on me, I’m not interested." "Please, you’re to brightly colored for my taste. But your mane is certainly interesting enough. So let's go." He grabbed Rainbow Dash who struggled until she found herself right at her porch. With the stallion standing in front of her inspecting his hoofs. "What the buck just happened!?" She squealed. "Take a look." He said motioning behind her. She looked back and saw nothing, right before she turned away an ear ringing boom was heard followed by a trail of grey, red, white and rainbow. She could only stand there watching as the beam came right at her and the rainbow connected to her before fading. "How did you do that!?" She squealed. "Aw, don't be sad, it's not every day you get taken home by the god of chaos." "What are you...?” She trailed off finally getting it. He was making a come closer gesture again. "Yes, yes come on. I know you’re not that dimwitted. Only slightly ignorant really." "Discord. What do you want?" "I want to give you a favor." He said simply. "Alright, what kind of favor?" She asked sitting on the edge of her porch. "Any, as long as it isn't any sort of intimate romance." "Ew, with you? What I want is to learn how you did that." She said pointing to the spot where he had done a sonic rainboom "That? You mean making you blush? Well, you also have little gadgets in your closet and-" "No! Not that, you feather-brained jerk. I mean how did you beat a sonic rainboom?" She said feeling her cheeks warm up. "Oh, that. Well, right before I broke the barrier I took in a breath of air." "That's it?" "That's it, although watch your landing. It’s not as easy as it seems, it took me two millennia to pull it off." "I'll be right back!" She said taking off to the area they were at before. He watched as she started to dive followed by a cone forming around her, and right before it broke, she was next to him. "Did you see that!? I did it and I wasn't even there!" She practically yelled into his ear. "So, awesome!" And to make it even more awkward, she made the face. Before throwing up over the edge of her porch. "Did I forget to mention air sickness? Must have slipped my mind. I'd suggest eating some ginger; it really helps with an upset stomach." "Thanks, now I’ll finally get into the Wonderbolts for sure! Too bad I can't see them now." "Now who said that? They don't sound very optimistic; maybe well go see them after we visit the Wonderbolts, does that sound like a plan?" Her eyes widened and her pupil’s dilated. "Yes, yes, yes!" He rolled his eyes at her Pinkie like behavior before teleporting them to the cloud arena. Right in the middle of a Wonderbolts show. Rainbow screamed hugging onto Discord who, for the life of him was turning purple within seconds. "Help!" Screamed Rainbow before feeling a second set of hooves on her. It was spitfire looking at her in confusion and in anger. "What do you think you’re doing!?" She hissed. "What am I doing? I’m getting ready to beat this guy," she said pointing at the purple stallion. "Into a pulp for teleporting me here!" As she reached out to strangle him he spoke up getting his color back. "She's here, with me to show you a move that makes a sonic rain boom look like one of your silly little acts." She slapped him leaving a welt and red mark. "Would you shut up!? They are not silly little acts there awesome performances!" "Well if you have something like that, then do it." Said Spitfire. "You want me to do it!?" "Yes, you did interrupt our show. So go before we call security." She said letting the two fly on their own. She gulped before nodding and flying up. Looking down, she saw all the ponies watching in annoyance because she had interrupted their show. She went down and just as the cone was about to form, she took in a breath of air. Everyone was confused on how she disappeared in flight at that speed. There were murmurs of confusion and fear before a whistle broke them out of it. Rainbow was lounging on a cloud inspecting her hooves. They all stared before an ear splitting boom was heard and a rainbow trail came out of thin air connecting to her and vanishing. The entire stadium started to whoop and cheer followed by Spitfire flying up to her. "I got to say kid that was awesome. Feel free to drop in at any time, recruit." Spitfire said giving her a pat on the shoulder. "Thank- wait, recruit?" "I think you've earned it." She nodded. "Wow, thanks! Hey buddy, thanks!" She called out to Discord as he flew up. "No problem, and now that that's done I need to get going. See ya later skittles." He finished before flying off.
The biggest buck up of my life.View OnlineLunar madnessThe biggest buck up of my life.Discord flew away from the stadium, snickering all the way until he got to the ground. "Ah, that was fun. So, who should I help next? Pinkie, i would but no. Fluttershy? No to shy. Twilight? No to boring. Aha! Rarity!" With his object in mind he started off at a brisk trot, combing the streets for her home until he realized he was missing one important part of his plan. "Where does she live?" He stopped and crossed his eyes trying to think. "If I was a jewel obsessed diva where would I go?" He asked himself. "Canterlot! Don't worry you walking marshmallow, I’m coming to help. One way or another, I will pay my dept." He started to run towards the train station; fortunately for him het turned it into a rollercoaster/cheese delivery system when he was in power for those few hours. "Heh, I still can't believe that guy let me have the train as long as i got it back in one piece. And i did!" He passed many buildings, from twilight's library to Sugercube Corner until the station came into view. It was as boring as he remembered it, same old red brick buildings, same old cake looking trains and the same old ticket guy. He was getting in line when he started to hear crying, curious as he usually is went to investigate. What he found made his heart sink. It was a child crying, a little grey unicorn filly with blond hair. What almost nobody knew was that all Discord did want was the equivalent of Pinkie. To see a smile on your face, no matter who it is. "Um, excuse me, why are you crying?" Discord asked not enjoying the fact he had to see a frown in his presence. "Wha-what?" The little foal asked looking up at him. "Why are you crying, is something wrong?" "I-I can't find my mommy. C-Can you help me find her?" He gave a tender smile showing off his snaggle tooth. "Of course, what does she look like?" "She's grey like me, has blond hair, grey wings and her eyes go in different directions." "Well, I guess, there’s no time to waste is there?" He said kneeling down. "Hop on, you'll see better." She gave a small smile before climbing on. "What's your name mister?" "Hm? Oh, I’m Discord, spirit of chaos at your service. And your name?" "Dinky hooves, my momma calls me her little muffin. Hey are you that weird looking statue from the field trip?" "Ah, I thought I recognized you. you were the one of four who was being picked on by those two little snobs. And yes, yes I was." "Were you the one who made it rain muffins?" "Why yes, that was one of my best works. Let me guess, you want to go because I’m some kind of monster?" "What? No! That was the best day me and my momma had in our lives! You got all of them made right, even our favorite flavors." "Really, you two actually liked me, and what I did?" "Ya! It was great, especially the trampoline trees. We kept jumping off to land on the gelatin. It was the most fun ever." "Thank you, you don't have any idea how much that means. The only other pony that liked what I did helped put me in stone, although I still see she cares for me in a way." "Mr. Discord?" "Yes, Dinky?" "Can I be your friend?" He stopped in his tracks eyes wide before looking up at the smiling filly looking down. "Friends..." He murmured. "You want to be my friend?" "Yep! I don't get why nopony doesn't, you didn't do anything wrong. You were just making more fun." "Kid, you’re reading my mind. So, can you see your mom?" "Hang on, let me check." She stood up on her back legs, and then a smile met her face again. "I see her! I see her! Over there!" She said pointing to the left. He quickly hurried over to the frantic looking Pegasus. "Dinky! Dinky, where are you!" "Ma’am I think i found your child." Said Discord smiling. "You did, thank you!" "Hello momma! This is Mr. Discord!" The cheery little child said popping up from the back of his head before running up to hug her mom. The mother was crying out of happiness not out of sadness, and Discord was alright with those tears. "Thank you, Discord. I don't know what i would have done if you hadn't brought her to me. Is there anything I can do to repay you?" "No, no my dear. Only your smiles are payment enough. Now, I’m afraid I must be heading back to Canterlot." "That's where were going!" Dinky piped up. "We have an extra ticket if you want to come with us? Can he momma, he was the one who made it rain muffins." "I thought I heard your name before. And if you like your very much welcome, to come along." "It would be rude to go if I didn't know both of you." "I'm Ditzy Do, but most ponies call me Derpy because of my eyes and clumsiness." "Derpy?" He said almost sickly. "That is a horrible name; I think bananas would be better." "Why would banana’s be better?" "It's not rude and it's your favorite muffin flavor." Her eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know that!?" "I had to make extra banana muffin clouds near your house." She blushed slightly. "Whoops, my bad." "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I’m happy you and your daughter liked my work. It really means a lot; it helps fill a hole in my chest, but not completely." "All aboard! Last call for Canterlot!" Yelled the colt by the train doors. "Oh! We need to hurry!" Said Ditzy. Quickly dragging Dinky and Discord behind her. On board the train, it still smelled like Swiss. Discord started to chuckle, getting attention from Ditzy and Dinky. "What's so funny?" Asked Ditzy. "Just an old memory. I still remember watching from Ponyville when the train pulled up in Canterlot and let that giant tidal wave of Swiss cheese into the castle." "That was you?" "Yes, you could say I have a grudge against the princesses. Mainly Celestia." "Why her?" Asked Dinky. "Promise not to tell?" They both recited a Pinkie promise in front of him. "Good, well you see at one time I was dating her younger sister. Princess Luna, she was also in love with me. Until Celestia blinded her and turned her against me! Just because she didn't approve of our relationship, that's why I was turned to stone for a thousand years, and that's why I don't like her." "You should talk to her." "Are you serious? Talk to Celestia?" "No, Luna. Tell her how you feel, that's if you still love her?" "I-I don't know, to be frank. Do I still care for her?" "You should talk to her; it might make you feel better. Can you two promise to keep my secret?" Dinky asked. "Yes." Ditzy and Discord Replied in unison while doing the Pinkie promise. "Well, I like somepony in my class." Dinky started. "His name is Feather Weight, but I don't know how to tell him how I feel." "Maybe I can help." Said Discord. "I can ask the princesses if I can visit your school, and if they agree I can tell you all about my race." "Wow, you would do that for me?" "Hey, what are friends for?" He laughed and surprisingly the two grey fillies did too. The rest of the ride was great for all three of them, they told stories, jokes and played games. As they saw Canterlot come into view two thoughts tugged at Discords mind. As they were getting out at the station he decided to ask. "Hey, will it be alright if we send letters?" "Sure! But i don't think it will be fast enough." Said Ditzy rubbing the back of her neck nervously. "I think I can help with that." He said before touching both of their foreheads sending tiny vibrations down their body's. "What did you do?" "I made it that, if you want to send me a letter you can pop it in an oven and it will be sent directly to my person. Actually in it. By the way what are you two doing here anyway?" "Were here for the annual muffin convention!" "Ah that seems nice. Well see you later Banana’s, you too Dinky. It was a true pleasure, but before I go I leave you with a present." He said pulling out a paper bag in front of them. "What's in it?" Asked Dinky. "Muffin's, both of your favorites. Well, Areviderci!" He said sadly before teleporting to the princess’s throne room. The princesses themselves were getting ready to switch positions before he popped in. "Discord!" Celestia said angrily. "What? I just came here to tell you two the good news!" She seemed slightly confused hearing this from him. "What good news?" "I saved three children, helped a mother find her daughter, saved an element of harmony, saved a town and made two new friends." He said smiling. "What!?" She asked her eyes nearly bugging out of her head. "I learned a very important lesson today, friends are great to have! I don't know why i didn't want any before!" "That's a very nice improvement, I’m glad for you adjusting so quickly." She said smiling. "Oh, and I want to go and teach history for a day at the children's school house in Ponyville." He finished. "I can't see any harm in that, so you may." She said calmly before fainting. "Huh, tough crowd." Discord whistles as he poked Celestia's unconscious body before pulling out a sharpie. "What are you doing?" Asked Luna. "Committing the biggest buck up of my life." He said admiring the new pirate Celestia. "But worth it as long as I get to be with my friends."
school house rock.View OnlineLunar madnessschool house rock.Discord stretched out his patch work body, half on the bed and the other half standing. "Good to see you awake." He shot upright almost immediately. "And what do I owe this, pleasure Celestia?" "I wanted to make sure you knew who you were messing with. And please take a shower before you leave, it smells like rotten eggs in here." "Statues don't usually have good hygiene. Although I could fix that." "You are not bringing anything to life; you've done enough of that as it is." "Fine, I swear sometimes you can be such a bore. You need to relax a little, read a book perhaps? No, that's too exciting for her majesty, although those special books under your bed are... interesting." Her ears flattened against her head and her cheeks turned pink. "I don't have any books under my bed." "Say that all you like, but the proof is in the pudding. Literally in this case." "You didn't!?" "What? Submerge your bed in vanilla pudding? No, I couldn't dream of it, well I did but not the point." "If you put as much as a drop of pudding on my bed I’ll give you a free vacation to the sun." "That's good, because it was jello I used. See ya later princy!" He said vanishing before a light burnt a hole where his head was. He reappeared outside in the middle of Ponyville. And as expected, everypony stared and stared until he waved and started to make his way to the library. It was just as he remembered it, aside from the one wall that at one time had a hole in it. He gently rapped on the door, until it slowly creaked open. "Welcome to Whispering oaks-" Spike said before staring wide eyed at who was in front of him. "Twilight, I think it's for you." Above at the top of the stair case was Twilight reading a book on who knows what. "Who is it it spike? Spike?" "Take a good guess you little nerd you." Discord said wrapping her into a hug from the wall. "Discord! What are you doing here? What if somepony see's you? You need to hide-" "Shush, I teleported right into the middle of the town. And besides, they would have to have found out one way or another." "What did they do? Because I don't hear screaming or boards being nailed to doors." "They just stared. It was very rude, I waved at them and all they did was quake in fear." "That's understandable the last time we met, you put their homes in the sky." "Details, details. So you must be wondering why I’m here, more importantly not making all of your furniture come to life." "Please don't. It was bad enough when Pinkie did it. Wait, why are you here?" "I'm here to give you a free favor." "Really? What's the catch?" "There is no catch; I don't understand why you ponies keep asking me that. It’s almost like you don't trust me." "We don't, and for good reason. So about that favor, can it be anything?" "Yes, but don't flatter yourself, I not into the nerdy types." "I'm ignoring that, but I already know what I want to ask." "If you want to know about my race then meet me at the school house." "How did you know I was going to ask that?" "You’re still a student to old Celly, and as such you want to absorb as much knowledge as you can." "That's not true; I take breaks from reading and studying." "And what do you do on break?" "I read, and study even more so I don't have to worry about a project later." "Figured that much, well I got to get going. The kids aren’t going to teach themselves." Discord Popped into existence in front of the school house, in truth he had never been to school before yet knew how to read and write. He walked to the nearest window, and knocked accidently sending the pane out of its frame. He had got the attention he wanted, the teacher a red mare and pinkish mane came up to him. "Can I help you sir?" She asked politely as if she didn't know who it was she was talking to. "Yes, I had asked the princess’s if I could give a short history lesson on my race. I hope I’m not interrupting to much?" "Actually we were about to begin history, why don't you come in?" He gave a nod before crawling through the window showing off his full form to the kids who stared at him in wonder. All except six foals. He walked over to the front of the class having to lean forward as to not have his horns stuck in the ceiling. "Hello little ones, I am sure you all have seen me before is that correct?" They all nodded their heads in response robotically. "Now, do any of you remember my name?" One of the foals raised their hoof. Little Dinky hooves. "Is it Discord?" "I see, you have quite the memory Dinky. Now who would like to learn about the Draconeqi?" The vote was unamanous. "Good, so where to begin? I think I’ll start with when I ruled. Well as your princess’s have told you, that I was some sort of monster, is only part of the truth. At one time I was in control of even more peace then them themselves. What changed me was when "it" happened." "What was it?" Asked a pudgy foal in the back. "When my heart was broken." "Who was it?" "Now that's a secret. Isn’t that right Dinky?" All the children turned to the smiling foal who made a zipper motion across her lips. "Now for the actual facts of my race, the-" There was a sudden heat filled wave that singed the area in front of him. There was a flash and then a purple unicorn looked around with two saddle bags on her sides. One filled with quills and ink while the other had scrolls bulging out of it. "Don't start! Did I miss anything?" "Yes Twilight, you interrupted story time, I was about to start telling them about my race. And to be clear, all of you get to ask questions at the end of it. I do not enjoy being interrupted." "Then start!" Most of the class and Twilight yelled in unison each a perfect replica of the Royal Canterlot voice. "The Draconeqi were a peaceful race, even more so than you pony's. We, invented law, literature, art, and imagination. We were very prosperous; there was no poverty or disease. No hunger or starvation. And no wrong doing. That was until we were introduced to other beings, others who didn't have any of that. It was horrible, we started to get greedy and fight amongst ourselves. And at one point, this is where I come in; right before the last of us died out the remaining ones gave me their magic. So I could live on and spread their knowledge." All the kids could do was staring with wide eyes trying to imagine what it was like. All except two. "Who cares about that? If they were so good then why'd they die?" "History is boring, and it isn't any better when it's told from some old patchwork doll." He recognized those two voices from when he was in his granite prison. "Ah, if it isn't Diamond marinara and Silver drool. My two favorite bully's!" "First of all its Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, second I’d watch what you say or-" "Or what!? You’ll get daddy to sue me? I’m the god of chaos, I’m havoc incarnate the one who deals out strife and displeasure. Do you think any of you can stop me? I bend reality to my very whim, I can easily turn any one of you into fruit if I wanted to!" "And yet you were stopped by the librarian, a diva, a tomcolt, a sugar addict, the southern hic, and the wimp. And now you even made friends with that blank flank, the one whose mom has the freaky eyes and breaks everything." "Now you listen here you little brats! You have no right to talk about any of them that way! Dinky might not have a Cutie mark but she was the only friend since I was trapped in stone for the second time, the only one to talk to after a thousand years of watching you all frolic about!" "Am I supposed to care?" "As Celstia as my witness, give me the strength to not give these two a free trip to the moon." He muttered under his breath. "Discord? I think that's enough." Said Cheerilee. "Yes, I think i might want to stop before I send them lunar. Although, I do know how to teach them a lesson, one that could benefit and teach them the value of a Cutie mark." "And what might that be?" "Take them away from the students who have their Cutie marks and let them live without them for the week." Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's eyes were as big a dinner plate while they were hiding there Cutie marks. "That is a good idea but sadly you can’t just take away a Cutie mark. It’s impossible." "But that’s the beauty of chaos, the impossible is possible. So, what do you say?" She looked over at the student who nearly shrugged before grimacing at the two bullies’. "I think that's a wonderful idea." "Good, now then little ones. Any questions, besides Twilight?" "But you said after you were done! And it's after!" Whined Twilight. "Let the students have a chance first, they are still students like you after all." One of the students’ raised her hoof. "Did you love Nightmare Moon?" "Good gracious no! She wanted to turn me into shishka-bab! That mare was crazy and not my kind of crazy either." "Did you ever write any songs for who you did love?" "Why yes, would you care to hear it?" "Yes, I think we all would." Said Twilight actually wanting to hear him sing. He pulled out a microphone and began to sing with a group of colts who walked in, one with drums and one on guitar. Overall the class just learned how to rock and love. "And that's how you write a love song." Discord smirked at children before bowing when they began cheering. "Discord that was certainly... interesting. And as much as i think the class would love to hear another, I’m sure you’re very busy." Said Cherilee. "Ah yes quite, and before I go the little test for the students." He snapped his finger and all the children who had their Cutie marks, watched as in a second they were gone. "Well goodbye! And Dinky, make sure to send a letter around seven, got it?" "Sure thing Mr. Discord!" She cheered. He gave a chuckle before teleporting out. "Well that was very fun wouldn't you agree class?" Twilight asked giggling slightly until she noticed them looking at her with wide eyes. "Miss Twa'light?" Applebloom asked. "Yes Applebloom?" "What happened to your Cutie mark?" Scootaloo finished. "What!?" She turned around scared out of her wits. And to confirm her fears it was gone, he Cutie mark was gone. She thought to do only one thing at that moment to get rid of all the frustration. She face-hoofed as hard as she could, knocking herself out.
Sharing kindness is not an easy feat.View OnlineLunar madnessSharing kindness is not an easy feat.Discord quickly teleported right outside of the window, careful not to be seen. And he saw it, Twilight face hoofing; only she didn't get back up. "Eh, aw well. Now I suppose I needed to do this now anyway. It's time to help the one who made me snap. Fluttershy." At her cottage, Fluttershy was fixing a salad for her "Angel" bunny. Who promptly after receiving it, made it into her own personal hat. "I'm sorry angel; I promise I'll put the peaches in it next time." She squeaked quietly. "Oh, don't be sorry for him. He just threw a salad on you! If somebody did that to me, they'd have an angry mob of cotton mouth mouth's and horned dolphins with flaming chainsaws running after them." She Panicked and went limp like a goat, only to see a small smile of an old foe. "D-Discord? Um what are you doing here... if you don't mind me asking?" He gave a sigh already telling she was going to be trouble. "You don't have to ask permission from me Fluttershy. And if it's alright speak up a little. And as for your question, I’m here to give you one favor. And I promise there are no catches." "Oh., alright. Um I don't really need anything, really. But if you want to help, I need wood for my stove and furnace." "Is the wood atleast close, because the last time I went out for wood, I was attacked by Timberwolves." "Oh you poor little thing, are you hurt? If you don-" "Can you not ask me if it's alright?" "Ok... are you hungry or thirsty?" "Well, I just did a live concert in a school house so I ‘m a little parched." "I'll be right back, um you can sit over there on the coach if you like." She said quietly to his annoyance before walking into the kitchen. He made his way over to the little couch and plopped his tail down, knocking into a little bunny in the process. "Oh sorry, didn't see you there." He apologized sincerely. The rabbit glared at him before extending his paw. Discord went to grab it only to notice it wasn’t a hand shake. The rabbit was holding only his middle digit up, now with both paws. "Why you little... erg! I already dealt with two foals today, I don't need any smack from you rabbit." "Um Discord, I’m sorry but were out of the herb for the tea... sorry." Said Fluttershy hiding behind her mane. "Then let's get some more. It can't be that hard can it?" "Really? You want to go back into the forest, just for tea?" "And crumpets, you can never have tea without crumpets!" He chirped happily flapping his little wings. "Oh, well I know the way. It’s um... well follow me, please. If you don't mind?" "Alright, lead on." He stood up while glaring at the rabbit leaning against the wall chewing on a carrot. She went and picked up a wicker basket from beside the door and made her way out, followed by Discord who temporarily got stuck. All the while Angel was watching, waiting for them to leave. And as soon as the door closed. He jumped into his private room, dug under his bed, pulled the wooden floor up and flicked a switch. A small disco ball slowly descended from the living room ceiling, and a little bar flipped out replacing the couch. The bartender, Winona. He hopped onto the nearest stool. "Make it a double today sugar lips." He said rubbing his head. Back in the forest, both pony and Draconequis walked silently disturbed by the occasional snap of a twig. "So, how's your day been aside from the near heart attack and salad hat?" "Good and you?" "I did a live concert in a school house, nearly made two students’ go lunar and took away Twilight's Cutie mark." "You did what-" "Don't worry it'll wear off in an hour. So are you hungry?" "A little...why?" "Because iI see some rather delicious flowers over there!" He said pointing at a patch of light blue flowers. Her eyes widened in horror as he picked a couple up and ate them. "Discord! Oh no, we need to get you a bubble bath now!" She actually said loud enough to disturb him. "Why? These won’t do anything to me, you on the on the other hand might get a deep voice." "That's poison joke though. What happens if it does something too you?" "Who do you think made them in the first place?" "You made them? Well their very pretty... if you don't mind me saying?" "There not the only things either, I made the Ursas, Timberwolves, Manticores and phoenix's." "Wow, you made all of them?" "Why yes, the Ursa was more of an accident in my youth. The Timberwolves were a gift, atleast they were still pups then. As for the Manticores and phoenix's... I just got bored." "But how are you not affected by the flowers?" "I'm not completely unaffected; you see there is a certain trait in these that if you stay up through the night... well really weird stuff will happen. So don't eat them." "Oh no, I couldn't and I wouldn't. They are-what is that?" "What's what?" He asked chaos magic going through his eagle talon. "Well this is odd..." She said moving over to a patch of plant next to the poison joke. They had five parts sticking out of them with the longest in the middle. "I don't know why but I think I’ve seen this before... but where?" "Does it make good tea?" "I think it does, why don't we get some of this and go?" "Alright, I guess it wouldn't hurt to try something new for a change." She picked grabbed a few leaves and let him teleport them back. Straight into Angels party. In the bed room where he was with Winona. She looked around and shook her head smiling while Discord was vomiting in the bathroom. Angel quickly covered himself up and Winona pulled the blanket over her chest. "Now Angel, you know you don't have to wait for me to leave. And Winona, Applejack's starting to ask questions." Her ears drooped before licking Angel on the cheek and running out the door to Sweetapple Acre's. Discord came out of the bathroom holding his stomach. "I think I would like some of that tea now." He said making his way to the couch. "Oh ok... I’ll be right back." She said walking into the kitchen. In twenty minutes the tea was done and Discords stomach was feeling much better. "Thank you for this, I really needed it." He said taking a bite out of another crumpet. "Your very welcome... I’m sorry you had to see that." "The rabbit and the dog? I’ve heard the phrase "they’re going at it like rabbit's," but that was just ridiculous." She was staring at his side with her mouth open. "Discord, do you see that purple cat too?" He looked to his sides, back and top but found not a purple hair. When he looked back at her he saw her eyes were red and she was slightly drooling. "Fluttershy, do you remember what kind of plant this was?" "No, but it's not like I give a flying-feather." He raised his eyebrows to that last part. "Did you just curse? Wow, this is even stronger than poison joke." "I wonder if it's as strong as you." She said leaning on his side and slowly climbing up. "Ugh, Fluttershy I‘m sorry but, I’m afraid you'll have to climb down. Fluttershy are you even listening?" He eyed her suspiciously. She had her front hooves wrapped around his neck, and back legs around his torso. "You know you smell just like chocolate milk, I wonder if that's what you taste like to?" He had enough of this foolishness from her. He snapped his fingers and her eyes cleared. "What, huh? Where am I? Discord!" She squeaked as she realized she was holding him with her legs and quickly jumped off leaving an imprint on his chest. "I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry..." She kept repeating behind her mane to hide her fierce blush. "It's alright; I’m used to having the mares crawl on me. After all who could resist this?" He flexed his arms. "I don't know. So I think i know what I want for my favor... that is if your still offering?" "I am; what do you want?" "Could you maybe come closer... if you don't mind?" He leaned forward letting her whisper or talk in her part, into his ear. After she was finished his eyebrows were raised and he was stroking his beard. "Are you sure that's what you want?" He asked unsure if she was joking. She nodded and smiled expectantly. He snapped his finger and a pink box with a yellow bow popped in front of her. She smiled showing all of her teeth making a sound like a rubber duck before tearing the box to pieces revealing what was in it. A white karate outfit with num-chucks. "I think I’ve had enough insanity for one day. I’m going home to lie down." “Discord, I remember where I know this plant from. I remember it when I was little; my mom called it… pot. I remember when my grandma drank all of my pot when I was staying with her.” He sighed before teleporting back to Canterlot. "Rarity's going to be so jealous!" Fluttershy laughed maniacally letting her eyes go in different directions.
Dinner and a show.View OnlineLunar madnessDinner and a show.Discord was in in fact tired. He wasn't sure if he could do any more favors, they were for the life of him. Exhausting. "I wonder when dinner will be ready?" He asked himself. And what he got was an answer. "In just a few minutes. I thought you would have eaten while you were out?" Said Celestia reading a book on his desk. "What the buck! Celestia don't sneak up on me like that! I nearly made it rain bowling balls on you." "Weird it doesn’t say that in here." He got up reluctantly and looked over her shoulder to see what she was reading. She was reading his- "If you say it, I’ll turn you into fruit!" He yelled at the author, who didn't give a flying-feather that he was about to call the book a diary. Which it was. Discord quickly grabbed the book and pressed it up against himself blushing from fury and embarrassment, in fear of what she might have read. "So, that's what you think of my sister?" "Don't you know anything about privacy!? You don't just read someone’s private journal!" "Then why did you leave the door unlocked?" "So if I didn't teleport into my room I’d be able to open it once I found it." "That makes sense. So, is that what you really want to do for her?" She asked smiling with a raised eyebrow. He snarled and snapped his fingers. Nothing happened. In his room anyway. In Celestia’s room, there were dodo's everywhere. "Discord what did you do? There had better not be pudding or jello in my room." "No, I just added a few more feathers to your already plush pillow." "If you take whatever it is out of my room, I won't tell Luna." "You won't even remember what you’re going to tell her. Heh, heh heh." Before she could retort he snapped his fingers wiping the memory away. "Discord, what's going on? Why am in your room? What is that you’re holding?" She asked tilting her head making her crown tilt. "This is my private journal, and I would appreciate some privacy. I don't go in your personal items and you don’t go in mine, understand?" "If you’re hiding something-" "I am hiding two things. I need to find some information on Luna and second my new plan is falling together perfectly." "What do you need to know about Luna?" "Relax, I just want to know what other pony's think of her so in some convoluted way I can help her. It’s really simple if you think about it, or atleast my way." "I can't believe I’m about to say this but... I trust you." "I'm sorry, what was that?" "I said... I trust you." "What was that, one more time please?" He said cupping his ear to her muzzle. "I trust you!" She yelled dwarfing Luna’s Royal Canterlot voice. "Aww! Why would you do that!?" He yelled. "You were acting like a foal." "What!? I don't want and waffles!" He yelled staring at her quizzically. Her ears flattened against her head in fear. "If Luna finds out that I deafened Discord she’ll kill me!" "You want to go to dinner now!? Ok if your that hungry!" He snapped his finger and they found themselves in the dining room. "Ah hello sister! Nice of you to join me." Said Luna waving at them. Celestia quietly smiled before seating herself at the farthest end of the table. Discord sat to the opposite of Luna. "Tia, is something wrong?" Luna asked looking at her sister who was switching her eyes back and forth between Discord and her. "What!?" Discord yelled, pulling out a small horn and putting it in his ear. "Discord pleases keep your voice down." "What!? You’re going to have to speak up! Your crazy sister nearly made me go deaf!" Lunas eyes widened in shock before narrowing at her sister. Who was trying to walk out of the dining room. "Sister I want to have a word with you. Now." Luna said her eyes glowing white. "How did you know I put dodo's in her room!?" Discord yelled. "Now, now sister there's no need to be upset. It was an accident, I swear." "Then why are you trying to leave?" "I ugh... have papers to do! That’s it!" "Is she giving the paperwork excuse!?" Discord countered without knowing. Or did he? "Sister come here now and I won't turn you into ash." Luna said taking in a breathe letting her eye's return to normal. She reluctantly walked over with her head hung low out of guilt. "Now, how did it happen?" "He was playing around as usual, and then he made me keep repeating that i trusted him. So when I had, had enough, I yelled." Luna face-hoofed. "Did you atleast try and fix it?" Her cheeks turned a light red. "It crossed my mind when he teleported us here." "Well I think that's good enough. Now, can you fix his hearing?" "Of course, I do owe him that much." She was about to use her magic when a flock of grey birds burst in followed by two groups of guards. "Are those dodoes’s?" Asked Luna putting a hoof to her chin. "They escaped! Quick put them back into Celestia's room before they molt!" Discord yelled putting his hands on his head in a "The Scream" pose. "You put those filthy things in my room!?" Celestia yelled. "Ow, keep it down. I’m not deaf; it was merely an act to make you look like the fool for once, and it worked perfectly!" He snapped his finger's turning all the birds into Swiss cheese and chicken sandwich's. He picked one up and ate it without even chewing. "Now that hit's the spot." He said before belching. "Excuse me." "Aw, I wanted to keep one." Luna whined much to Celestia's shock. "Why would you want to keep one of those filthy things?" "Because their just so adorable." There was more belching and they both turned to see Discord sitting back down. With a lone dodo by his side. "I saved you one." He said motioning it towards Luna who smiled and started to pet it. "Luna doesn’t touch that thing. What if it blows up?" "Now hush, poor little Cookie won't do anything." "Cookie? You named it Cookie?" "Yes and if you don't like it then go suck a lemon." She said blowing a raspberry at Celestia who rolled her eyes before returning to her seat. "So Luna, how have you been?" Discord asked drinking some soup leaving the dishware for once. "Good and you? What have you done?" "Well, I renovated the guest room for now, I saved a town from Timberwolve's, repaid my dep’t to four of the Elements Of Harmony, taught Skittles how to do a new move, made two new friends, stood up for them and their friends, rocked out in a history lesson, almost got kissed by a Pegasus doing hallucinogen, gave a karate outfit with num-chucks to her and filled Celestia's room with dodo's." "Well it seems you’ve still been causing some chaos which is understandable." "Well duh, I am the embodiment of chaos." "Yes I know, and we couldn't be happier." "Who's we?" "Pinkie Pie and me." "Ah yes, Pinkie. She was the one who kept running from you on Nightmare Night, correct?" "How did you-" "There were a few holes in my statue. That and I like listening to gossip." "Then yes, she was. Almost everypony was and still is afraid of me for what I was." "I heard Twilight tried to change your look?" He asked leaning on his elbows with his hands underneath his chin. "Yes, it did not go well." "Maybe it was the wrong time to try. If you'd let me I could do a much better job." "I don't want to be green or any other color than I am now Discord." "No, no, no. I’m talking about maybe some new little ornaments." "Ornament’s, what do I look like a Hearth's Warming Eve tree?" "No, it's you're little jewelry." "My royal regalia? What’s wrong with it?" "It's too dark and threatening." "I suppose it is. I will let you make me new one's then." "Yes! You will not regret it, that I swear!" He cheered before teleporting out of the room. "Sister, why did you let him do that?" Celestia asked not sure if she had just heard Discord was going to make jewelry. "You may not know this, but he's a very fine blacksmith." She nooded and stood up to walk out letting Cookie ride on her back. When the door shut Celestia was about to get up as well before a small device with a note on it fell in front of her on the table. She unraveled the note and read it aloud as she usually does. "Dear Celestia, I recorded what you said earlier on the little device. Now I get to hear you say it whenever I want! Discord." She picked up the device. It was a small rectangle made out of plastic; it had five buttons on the side. She pushed the one with a small triangle on it. "I trust you!" it yelled exactly the same as when she did it. Only this time, she was the one deafened.
Stuck between a rock and a marshmallow.View OnlineLunar madnessStuck between a rock and a marshmallow.Discord was giddy to say the least. He finally got to get Luna's attention. Maybe, just maybe one day; her love again. But first bed. He fell face first into the pillow with his rump sticking into the air. When he did wake it was often to stick his head into a chocolate fountain to put on a sleeping mask. Or to stack chocolate milk glasses in front of Celestia’s door. He awoke on his own accord, when he decided to not pull the blankets over his head to block out the sun. Not while his Princess needed his help. He groggily got up and made his way to knock on Celestia’s door. Only it wasn't there, it was in her room. He chuckled lightly before walking in to ask where the bathroom. What he got was the most horrifying experience in his life. It was Celestia with a mud mask stepping out of the shower. She stopped. They stared. And he screamed like a little girl running away with his arms over his head into Luna's room. She was getting ready for bed as it was her sister's job to manage the day court. When Discord of all things came running in. "Luna! Help! Monster!" Discord yelled his pupils starting to swirl. "Discord calm down! What's wrong?" "Shhh! be quiet, it might hear you." He said making duct-tape appear over her mouth. Next three things happened. The door opened, Discord screamed and swung down with an iron frying pan and Celsestia came in wearing a mud mask. "Go back to the pit of Tartarus from whence you came!" Discord yelled raising the pan again. "Discord stop! That’s Celestia!" He looked at her and back to Celestia rubbing her now bleeding nose. He raised his arm higher. "Discord! I'm warning you, don't." And his hand fell. Hitting her right on the head. With a hot towel. "Sorry about that Celly, didn't know it was you." He said nervously tapping his fingers together. She huffed stood up and what seemed like she was about to walk out reared her hind legs back and sent him through Lunas wall. Discord was flying through the air holding onto the area between his legs. Again. He saw Ponyville coming up; he was shocked that for a pony that could beat Pinkie Pie at a cake eating contest had that much force in her. What he saw next made him put ear plugs into his ears. It was going to get loud, but not from the impact itself. Rarity was trying to get opal off her new ponyquin. "Opalescence! You let go of that right now!" She yelled at the cat who hissed and swiped her paw at the unicorn. "Fine! You leave me no choice; you have done this to yourself." She was about to walk away when something large and tacky crashed through her window. "Ow, that hurts a lot." Discord wheezed on the floor still holding his privates. "Discord! Why did you just break my window? Why are you here? Do you know how much-" He continued to act like he was listening until he snapped his fingers and fixed the window. He took out his ear plugs and stood there looking at the little marshmallow wondering if she'll melt. "Listen, I’m here to offer my services to you." He calmly said with his hands raised. "Why would I want anything from you?" She hissed. "Because I think you of all ponies would like a little redemption considering I made you fall head over hooves for a rock." "I thought we never agree to speak of that again?" "You and your friends agreed to that, I wasn't even present." "Are you telling the truth or are you here for something else?" "I am here to give you a free favor, but I’m also here on business." "What kind of business?" She asked raising several pairs of scissors into the air. "Royal business. I need some red silk to help make a present for princess Luna." Her eyes widened and her breathes were short and quick. "You want my help to make a dress for-" "Did I say it was a dress? I'm trying to make a new set of regalia for her to wear. Something that won't scare you snobbish ponies." "We are not snobbish you tacky little-" "So discriminating and pinning a foal-napping against a zebra you don't even know, saying her mane style is horrid when she can't help it, tossing your friends aside for fame, causing one great discomfort, another to cower in fear, try and upstage that one friend, yell at your own kin constantly when she's just trying to find her permanent place in the world, and judge other races on first glance isn't snobbish then mistake me if I’m wrong." "That was only me." "Yet you just admitted to specieism, greed, carelessness and discrimination! Now who’s the snobbish one!?" "Hmph! if you want some red silk then you may pick whatever color you want. Just as long as you pay for it, and since you don't have any bits you won't get any." She said in satisfaction with her nose held high. Which only lasted when he blew that statement away. "You do realize I can make any type of gem I want, right? I could even make some Everfree Ruby's the size of a grown pony. Would that sound like a fair trade?" Her eyes lit up when she heard "any and gem" come into play. "Discord, you make a great argument. I accept your offer, silk for a pony sized Everfree Ruby." "I thought you would," He said pulling out a Rarity shaped ruby from behind his back. "This time though it's not a rock, you can go take a piece to your little friend Spike to make sure." He put the ruby next to her where he immediately began to expect it. He walked over carefully to the cloths and not touching any with his hands but instead pillows taped on, inspected each red. "Hey marshmallow, what red do you think will go with polished silver?" "I have a name thank you very much, and to answer your question I’d recommend the rose red." "Which one is that!?" "The one to the left of your head second down." She said without looking. "Huh, thanks!" He said clipping off a medium sized piece with the accuracy of a marshmallow. He took the silk and walked out. To look up and see the cloud stadium from earlier. "How'd I miss her house?" "I don't know, how?" Asked a cheery voice. "Hello Pinkie. I know you must be as excited as usual but I have a gift to go make, do you know anywhere I can go?" "You can go to the school house! There having arts and crafts today!" "That's a splendid idea! Thank you Pinkie Pie, here have a cotton candy cloud." He snapped his fingers once before a cloud formed over her head and started to rain chocolate milk. He snapped his fingers again to get away from her extreme thank you's. At the school house Dinky and the other crusaders were talking about how to get their Cutie marks that involved some convoluted death defying stunt. Today though was jewerly making. "Are you sure we haven’t tried this?" Asked Sweetiebelle. "I'm sure!" Replied Scootaloo annoyed with her friends attitude. An audible pop was heard from behind and all their faces turned into smiles when they saw Discord standing there. "Hello again children, I was hoping to ask your teacher if I could join for arts and craft's. You see I need help making some royal jewelry." "We were going to try making jewelry!" Scootaloo said. "Wow, madam Pinkie was right. He would show up in our time of need." Said Sweetiebelle to Applebloom. "Oh hello Discord, what a pleasure to see you again. Did the princesses ask you to teach again?" Asked Cherilee walking up to him with a small smile. "In a way... I actually need these four children's help." Her eyes slightly widened at that. "Let me guess, demolition or bringing the apocalypse?" "Hey!" All four said in unison. "I'm joking, now if you all want to help him then go ahead." "Ya-" Before all four could finish she raised her hoof silencing them. She turned around facing the class. "Alright children! just like we practiced!" All the foals went to their desks and pulled out a set of ear plugs, even Cherileee. Leaving a confused Draconequiss behind. "Alright, continue!" "Why did-" He was about to ask before being interrupted by four little Royal Canterlot voice's. "Cutie Mark Royal Jewelry Gift Makers! Yay!" "That's even worse than Celestia's voice!" He said clutching his horns as hard as he could. There was an audible snap and then a deathly silence. He had broken his horns off. "Does anyone have any glue?" One foal in the back eating paste walked over to him and handed him the bottle. Discord dipped each end of his horns into the bottle before reattaching them to his head. "Alright so can we begin?" They all nodded their heads before sitting at a large table in the center of the room. When he tried to sit he kept hitting his head on the ceiling, before he came up with a miserable idea. He snapped his fingers and slowly he shrunk. He was now Diddy Discord, a little pudgy Draconequiss with little horn stumps, a stout tail, stumpy arms and legs, a big piece of his black mane hanging over his forehead and a large snaggle tooth sticking out of his mouth. "Wow, you look so adorable." Said Cherilee. "Hug me and I’m taking over the world." He growled. "Don't make me put you in time out." She warned. He merely scoffed and rolled his eyes before snapping his fingers making a large slab of silver appear on the table. He got on the table and began inspecting it more closely, looking for the right place to strike it. He saw his opportune spot and kicked it. Silver dust fell to the floor in a pile leaving only a crown, a chest piece, two small silver olive branches, four bars of silver and four hoof covers. All the children "Oowed and Awwed" at his work. "Alright you three I need you to hold the chest piece steady." And instantly the crusader were holding it up unsure of what he was going to do. He picked two of the bars and started to bend them, slowly but then picked up speed until he was bending them like taffy. "Alright, now everyone put one of theses on." He said snapping his fingers making wielding masks appear on everypony's face and as an extra for the crusader's hoof covers. He snapped his fingers and a jar appeared filled with a rainbow liquid. It was essence of rainbow. He took the top off and stuck his lips to the top before throwing his head back swallowing it in seconds. He was fanning his mouth before walking over to where the crusaders were. He put the first of the two bent bars on melting them to place; he did the same with the other side. He then put the silk in between the two bonds encasing the inside in red. He waved them off and they did before sitting back down next to him as he pulled the crown over. "What do you think I should put in it? A Sea pony Saphire or an Everfree Diamond?" "The Diamond defiantly." Said Dinky. He snapped his fingers again making a small pink gem appear alongside another jar of rainbow. He pulled the jar over to him. "This is going to suck so many lemons." He said before chugging it. He melted a small part of the silver in the middle of the crown before putting the gemstone in. Followed by the olive branches. He snapped his fingers again before a bucket of milk appeared which he jumped in making a big cloud of white steam rise. "That's better..." He said in relief. "Now, I need to go and give my gifts to her majesty, princess Luna!" He said teleporting out of the school and back to Canterlot. He appeared in the throne room where Celestia and Luna sat. Luna without her regular regalia on. "I got you the jewelry Luna!" Discord said before realizing he didn't change back. "Aww, look at how little and pudgy you are!" She squealed running up to hug him. "That's it! Global chaos time!" He yelled with his voice cracking in the middle of the threat. "Discord did you make this?" Luna asked walking over to the pile of silver and cloth dropping him on his tail. "Yes, yes no need to thank me. It only took the help of a prissy marshmallow and two jars of rainbow." "I wish I had a mirror so I could see myself." She said before a mirror came into view. In a loss for words she looked stunning. "Discord, this is wonderful thank you." She said walking over to him and planting a quick kiss on his left cheek. "I am never washing this cheek, ever again." He said mesmerized while rubbing the mark. Unfortunately, he didn't notice his wings were spread wide. He had popped a winger.
Stay calm and Gangnam style.View OnlineLunar madnessStay calm and Gangnam style.Luna walked over to little Diddy Discord and pecked him on the cheek. Celestia was ready to burn the little bug out of existence. Luna sat back down with a wide grin on her face from getting a new look and seeing Diddy Discord again. "Sister what do you think of my new Regalia?" "Absolutely wonderful." She growled keeping her calm demeanor. "I know, he's been so nice lately towards me. I think i might need to repay him myself?" "All he's done though is a few favors and make some jewelry. I hardly say that calls for a reward." "But he did the favors in his free will as his apology to the ones that turned him to stone and now he made me this to help others be not as scared of me. I think I’ll take him out to dinner." Celestia's mouth dropped. "Y-You're going to do what?" "I'm taking him out to dinner. Now hush, your day court is beginning." "Well then, I’d say it's your bed time then sister." "Actually I think it might be good for me to be up for this one, to learn what to do if you can't make it at one time." "I must warn you, there is one part of my schedule that I wish for you to depart from before HE enters." "Who is he, exactly?" "Auntie Tia! I have filled out the reports of my monthly complaints." Luna's ears flattened while Celestia frowned. "Prince Blueblood." Celestia said. "Guards bring me and Luna some extra strength aspirin!" Discord quickly ran back to his room smiling like an idiot. While he was going he spotted a blonde unicorn walking down the hall, and as he hadn't pulled any pranks lately. It was too perfect to pass up. Right as the unicorn was taking another step an invisible whoopee cushion appeared under his hoof. Surprised he quickly looked around until he saw little Diddy Discord, laughing his tail off. "And what unnatural abomination are you?" He asked in a totally un-racist way. "Oh, me I’m Discord spirit- actually hang on I need to change back." He snapped his fingers and returned to his regular height. "As I was saying, I am Discord spirit of chaos and disharmony. At your service." he finished in Blue blood's voice. "Then could you kindly ask the guards following me to stop, please?" "Sure I’ll try my best. You wouldn't be that Blue Blood fellow that uncouth unicorn back in that backwater town keeps talking about, would you?" "Finally, somepony who understands my pain. What did she do to you?" "She helped turn me to stone for the past seven months." "That sounds extremely dreadful." "It wasn't all bad; I did get to have a little fun before I was sealed away again." "And what is it you do?" "I cause chaos and disorder where ever I go. I was the one after all who filled the castle with Swiss cheese." "That was you? I must say I rather enjoyed the look on my auntie’s face. She deserved it after letting those savages into the gala." "You think that was bad, you should have seen her face when she thought she had deafened me! She thought Luna was going to kill her and to make it worse I filled her room with dodo birds... atleast that was until they escaped." "You filled her room with dodo birds? I must say you have quite a unique way of revenge." "Revenge? I don't want revenge; I just want to win back the love she took away from me over a thousand years ago." "So you loved my auntie?" "Ew! Please I’d rather have her use an oversized cheese grader on me before I love her... no offense." "None taken, now about those guards?" "Ah yes, I’ll go deal with them, and watch where you step. There might be strawberry pie everywhere later." "I see, well I must say it's nice to finally meet somepony that isn't out of their mind." "Actually I‘m clinically considered crazy, but not insane there is a difference." He just slowly nodded his head before walking away. Discord turned around already disliking that little snob. He saw the guards running in his direction before stopping. "Hey there guys I’d better hurry. I think i saw a dagger in that guys shirt pocket." And in truth behind his back he snapped his fingers. They all saluted and ran off. All but one. He had golden armor so he was obviously with Celestia's guard; he had a natural white coat and a purple mane sticking out. "You're the one who turned Twilight grey." "And you are who?" "Captain Shining Armor and brother to Twilightsparkle." "Oh, you’re that shiny fellow she's always talking about! We'll it is very nice to meet you." "I wish I could say the same." "Oh goodie, another one of those pony's." "And what is that supposed to mean?" "That your one of the few who hasn't seen that I’m trying to change." "You filled the castle with cheese though; I doubt you'll change quickly." "I have changed actually. I’ve already saved a few lives, taught history at a school house, made friends and completed favors for five of the elements." "Do you expect me to believe that?" "No but-ohh I don't feel so good." He held onto his stomach and put a paw over his mouth. His paw didn’t hold when a batch of white smoke appeared and formed into a letter. "Ah! It must be from Banana's and Dinky." He unrolled it and began to read aloud while walking who was followed by Shining Armor. "Hey Mr. Discord! I’m sorry we couldn't write to you earlier but the oven got clogged by a muffin. Well me and my mommy have been having fun and she wanted to thank you for standing up for her and me in school, she also says she would have liked to be there when you were teaching. Love Dinky. Your best friend." "So you were telling the truth. Sorry about that." Shining apologized rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh quite it you little suck up, you don't have to apologize. Hey shouldn't you be going to get that Blueblood fellow?" "Your right! I need to protect the princess!" He saluted and ran off back to the throne room. "Finally, some peace and quiet, but what fun is quiet?" He teleported down to his favorite spot in Ponyville. "Sugercube Corner. Home of the most insane, physic breaking, random being next to me in existence." He walked inside and found himself seeing two big blue lakes with two black dots in it. Pinkie was hugging his face. "I think you know why I’m here?" He asked trying to pull her off. "Yep! Your here to give me a favor but since I don't need anything do you want to go just have fun!?" "That sounds delightful. What do you have in mind?" He was now trying to get her off using a crowbar. Her ears laid back while her arms were stretching like her tongue would around a cake. "I don't know... I don't know!" "I have a few ideas, if you want to hear them?" Her eyes lit up before she jumped off his nose making it bounce like a diving board. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" "Well were going to need atleast forty-eight ponies, the town's speaker system and my magic." "Done, done and done!" She finished pointing to the group of ponies outside smiling. "You never cease to amaze me. Now we begin." Luna and Celestia both got quiet the shock when they saw Blueblood come in and an even bigger one when he pulled out the dagger when the guards were taking him in. "Sister I think you should go before anything stranger happens." Celestia said to Luna who only teleported to Discords room to talk. Inside it looked like it usually did, atleast with Discord living there. Only one thing was missing. "Discord, where are you?" She called out. No answer. "If this is a joke then it isn't funny." No answer. "I guess he's not here... what's this?" She went over to his bed and saw a small book laying on it. It was an olive green with blue pages as far as what she saw. "It must be a journal of some kind, I’d rather not read it... but he could be hiding something." She reluctantly opened it and was shocked to see the pages were blue and the ink was red. She read the first few lines and was relieved when she read that it was from his new licorice pen. As her went on things got even weirder, there was talk of a "Master" plan, pulling a few jokes on Celestia and... " He loves me!?" She was shocked and happy. Which wore off in seconds when she put the pieces together, how fast he changed, why he made her the gift, why he didn't gag whens she kissed him, why he left one bird and why he's always so happy around her. Now she was just happy, he still loved her! She hugged the book to her chest and giggled. She knew he might be upset but that will change when she'd ask him out to dinner, because now she wanted a date. First though she needed to find him, but where could he have gone? She opened the book again and went towards the back, it said he had already helped Borelightsparkle, Applejack, Skittles, Ninjashy and the marshmallow diva. "He must be with Pinkie." She smiled and charged her magic when she heard music coming from outside. When she went to the window, she saw something going on in the town. Worried she teleported and was shocked to see what was going on. Absolutely nothing. She looked around and saw Discord with a trench coat sitting next to Pinkie who was wearing the same thing. He waved her over to sit down. When she went over they both were trying to hide their smiles, which they couldn't with what was about to happen. "Discord why are you wearing that?" Luna asked grabbing a bagel off the trey in the middle of the table. "It's a surprise. Me and Pinkie along with a few others have got a little surprise for the town." "What surprise?" He pulled out a large watch and started to count down. "You'll see in...3...2...and 1!" Pinkie pulled out a large speaker from her mane and a microphone with a cord running to the center speakers of the town. She pushed a play button and started to walk away with Discord in tow before starting to dance. When they both were dancing another pony came out of a shop to the left and then one from the right, and so on until there was a large group in trench coat's dancing. They put their front hooves/arms wrists on top of the other and started moving their legs side to side. There were a few other pony's watching. Next they started to do the "Horse rider" going forward and then back. There were a lot of pony's watching now and even a few tapping there hooves. Pinkie was under discord making the same face as when Rainbowdash was up on stage, and all through the back others were doing the same. Now almost the rest of the town came to watch and half were joining in. "Discord what is this!?" Luna yelled over the speaker. "Were doing the Gangnam style!" He yelled back. "Well I’m going to read a book." Twilight said before closing her window shutters. Now Discord was in dancing against some pony in a yellow suit, who after losing was carried away in a cart with his hoof up in the air. When the song did end they all posed with one elbow out while leaning forward with a leg back. He walked back over with Pinkie who was cackling like a hyena on laughing gas. "Luna did you see that!? That had to be the most fun I’ve had in eons beside playing around with the new element’s that one time." "That was very... interesting, but I wanted to ask you something." "Well ask away!" "Would you care to go to dinner with me?" His mouth fell off his jaw making every other pony's jaw fall, not off because that would be impossible. Instead Pinkie had her's on the ground. "Are you asking me out to dinner?" "I think you deserve it. You’ve been good so, yes. I’m asking you out on a little... date." She finished her voice in a millennia cracking. His nose was bleeding partially. "Sure, that sound's absolutely wonderful!" He said before falling backwards with a wide smile on his face. She smiled, picked him up and teleported him back to his room where she laid him down. Later that day. "What a wonderfully delicious chaotic dream... why does my head hurt?" Discord said rubbing his head. "It was more than a dream." Said Luna walking into the room. "Ahh! What is with you pony's sneaking up on me; do you want me to start making it rain bowling balls!?" She rolled her eyes and went over to his bed. "So, I was wondering. Where would you like to go eat?" "So it wasn't a dream?" "No, you just passed out after having that nose bleed." "Huh, I guess that old restaurant I went to that one time. That would be nice." "You mean, Haylequine's?" "Yes that one. I wonder if they still wrap those little napkins in the shape of cats?" "I'm sure. Now go get ready." She left him there to stare at the wall smiling. He bolted up with his hands/paw on his face again in "The Scream" pose. "I need to get ready!" He bolted to his japonynese changing screen, and jumped out in a black tux, pants and a red bowtie. "Perfect. Now For some Dental Hygiene!" He ran to his bathroom and picked up the toothpaste tube held it over his mouth and squeezed the entire tube in, next he did the same with two bottles of mouth wash. He opened his mouth and put in a ball with bristles covering it, he flicked a switch and it began to vibrate rapidly before he also threw it in. It was bouncing rapidly around in his mouth pushing at his cheeks. He spit it out and a wave of brown spit went down the sink. He breathed into his paw and it was encased in ice. He picked up a sander and sharpened his horns into points; next he picked up wood sealer and put a light coat on them. He picked up the hair gel and put a large slab onto his mane slicking it back. he even put a little on his eyebrows so they weren’t so bushy. He took a few steps back admiring his work. "Swag." He said chuckling at himself. He exited his room locking it and putting boards on the door along with a cartoonish sized lock before swallowing the key to keep Celestia out. He turned around and saw Luna, dressed in a jet black dress with purple highlight's, she also had her hair in a ponytail, she was also wearing some make-up because her eyelids had some silver under them. "I see you clean up well." Luna smirked smiling at him. "As do you, are you ready your highness?" "Yes, you may take us there." He smiled before snapping his fingers and they were at the front of the restaurant. It was a two story restaurant with the name on the front in neon pink letters. They both walked up to the colt behind the podium. "Hello we would like a table." Said the princess as nice as she could to the poor colt who was scared out of his mind seeing Discord there. "D-Do you h-have a r-reservation?" He stuttered. "We-" "Yes we do. it's were slightly late considering I was in stone and her trapped in her own marvelous work of art for over a thousand years." Said Discord. "I-I'm sorry but y-your names aren't on t-the l-list." He narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. "Listen buddy, here’s the deal. You let us in or else, got it?" He looked almost like he was about to pass out until Luna joined in. "Discord stop it! You’re scaring him!" He just looked over at her and winked. "Now since your being so rude I’m afraid I’ll have to... give you enough bit's to retire!" "No! Please I have two foal's and a wi- wait what!?" "You heard me, I’ll give you a few jewels to turn in and you and your family can go and live in peace. As long as you let us in that is of course, if you like working here?" "Wait; let me check the list again. Yes, here they are a Mr. Discord and Princess Luna. I'm sorry for that, this hasn't happened before." Discord pulled out a small pouch filled with Everfree Diamonds and Sea Pony Sapphires which he gave to the colt who led them to their table. "What would the Gentlecolt and madam like to drink?" The colt asked holding a notepad and pen. "Watered wine, please." They both said only to look put their menus down to look at each other. "What would you like to have today?" "I'll have the parmesan salad." Luna said giving him the menu. "I'll have the special." Discord replied giving him the menu. Once he left Luna turned to Discord with slightly mad expression. "What was that!?" She hissed. "That? I was just getting us a table." "But did you have to scare him like that?" "Yes, otherwise he would have just gotten us arrested." "They can't arrest me I’m-" "What would others think if they saw their ruler skip a law? I hate to have to remind you that your supposed to keep me out of trouble, not the other way around." "Of course, that would cause major unrest and they might consider letting you take my place." "Why couldn't I take a different one?" "You don't handle following the rules well, even if there was another who caused more damage than you ever did to Ponyville." "Really? Someone else caused more chaos than me? Who was it?" "It was Pinkie's pet alligator. He barely escaped custody for eighteen accounts of arson and fighting." "The toothless alligator!? He beat me at what I’ve been doing my entire life in just one night!?" "Discord keep your voice down. others are here too." A few of the ponies started to stare as soon as they had walked in. "Let them stare, their just jealous you asked me to dinner instead of them." She blushed slightly followed by many wide eyes’ customers. "Your food and drinks, sir and madam." The waiter had two glasses of wine, a plate with a small bowl for sauce and a larger bowl for Discord's soup. He walked off to the manager's office, only one thing he had with him which wasn’t supposed to be with him. He forgot to give them their water. "I think I’m getting the hang of being a good-too shoes." He said putting a napkin in his shirt collar and lap. "I didn't know you were so well mannered Discord." "Oh I wouldn't say that, there are many things you don't know about me. There are even things that I don't even know about myself." "What is that?" "Like how my own magic works-" "No, no not that. Listen, think I can hear yelling." The colt from before came running out of the manager's office and threw his shirt and bowtie onto the ground before running of cackling. "It seems I leave more than chaos now." Discord said until he realized what he had just said. "Luna! I’m making pony's happy and causing chaos at the same time!" "That's wonderful Discord, but keep you voice down, please." "Sorry, but still I’m finally doing it. And all it took was friends and freedom." He raised his glass to the center of the table. "A toast to chaos and harmony." "As well." She said before clinking glasses. Twenty minutes later they had went through atleast a bottle of wine each and paid for their food. "So, what now?" Discord said wobbling slightly. "Let's go back to the castle... I need to lower the moon." Discord nodded, hiccupped and teleported them back to his room. Luna walked over to the balcony and lowered her moon and stars down. "I think it's time to go to bed... wouldn't you agree Discord?" He was lying on his bed staring at her smiling. "Yes I think so." She walked to the door before turning around and getting into his bed. "I think you room is across the hall?" Discord said scooting to the edge to give her room. "It's too far." She huffed setting her dress to the side. "Alright, sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite." "Goodnight." She said before kissing him on the lips and then laying down on his chest. His cheeks were pink, his ears were burning at the top and the top part of his head flew up letting steam come up making a train whistle sound. He just sat there in surprise before laying his lion paw on her shoulder. "Like a boss."
Don't kill it with fire!View OnlineLunar madnessDon't kill it with fire!Celestia was eating her usual forth piece of cake that morning. He niece said she needed to go on a diet. This was her diet for atleast four months. She picked up the milk carton and let go when it reached the other side of the table, letting it spill on the floor. "Hm? What was that?" She looked over to where her sister usually sat and found she wasn't there, "Guards! Get a mop and please clean the milk somepony spilled on the floor up." As they went to work she went to her sister's study. She wasn't there. She went to the kitchen. She wasn't there, along with a cake that had gone missing. She went to the garden only to get attacked by cookie trying to get cake crumbs off her lips. She wasn't there either. "Where could she be?" She thought rubbing her sore lips from her feathered assailant. She went to Luna's room. It was locked. "Why would she lock her door?" She asked herself before hearing a light snoring. She giggled and put her ear against the door. She heard nothing. She put her ear to her own door before falling in. She wasn't in there either. "Discord if you hurt even one hair on her..." She said while putting her ear to the heavily boarded and chained door. She heard two ponies snoring. She reared her back legs up and bucked them in sending splinter's and metal flying. When she did walk in she saw what could be described as the most "Dawww" rific scene in existence. She saw her old enemy with her sister in the bed with his paw on her shoulder and her head on his chest with her snoring lightly alongside his head on top of her neck. Furious didn't describe what she was feeling. "Discord! you have went to far this time!" She yelled even louder than when he had recorded her "I trust you" incident. Three things happened. They both screamed, Luna was talking to fast to hear and Celestia was covered in bowling balls. "What the buck! I told you not to do that! I told you not to sneak up on me and look what you've done you kicked in the door!" Discord yelled getting out of the bed. All the bowling balls melted instantly followed by a blast of fire. Discord in enough time teleported him and Luna to Ponyville with only just a few singed hairs. "Luna, would you care to explain why she just blew up part of the castle?" He asked pointing to the pillar of smoke coming from the city and her hair. Her cheeks turned purple. "I think she saw us cuddling and thought-" "She thought we bucked! Ha! Of wait... she wants to kill me!" He yelled running around in a circle with his arms in the air. "Discord she will not kill you, she's against killing. She’s one of those pacifist ponies." Luna waved at him making him calm down slightly. "If she does try anything then will you protect me?" "Why me? Your stronger than both of us." "I don't hurt ponies remember? Oh, wait you weren’t there when I said that." "But we were!" It was the mane six. "Twilight! Your teacher thought me and her sister bucked and now she's trying to turn me into charcoal!" "What!? Did you actually-" "No! I know you’re a shut in but help, please! I let you have those notes on my kind, help me please!" He was on his knee's begging her. "What can we do?" "Stay right where you are while I roast him alive!" There was a shadow that quickly formed to make Celestia. Her mane now nothing but red flames and her coat black and red from where rubble had fallen on her. "Help! Get the Element's quick trap her or me in stone! Skittle's please! Fluttershy stare at her!" She dragged him over to where she was getting ready to hit him in the face. Until she was thrown into a building by a blast of purple magic. "Whew, thanks Luna." "That wasn't me." "...what? If not you then that mean's... no bucking way." They all turned around to see Twilight with her horn charged. "Did you just attack my sister?" Luna asked. Twilight broke out of her trance and her eyes widened before she started to cry hiding behind her friends. "Discord you coward! Fight me yourself!" Celestia yelled. "I don't want to die! I'm too young!" "Sister stop this! He didn't do anything; I was the one who kissed him!" Luna yelled. Celestia's mane went back to normal while her mouth and eyes went wide. Before her mane turned a light blue and her eyes turned red. "You little pest! You'll die for kissing her!" Discord only had enough time before a bright flash illuminated the scene. Celestia was gone. "Where did she go!?" He panicked holding onto Luna. "I do not know." She muttered quietly. There were six flashes followed by one blinding one. Celestia was back and the mane six were wearing the element's. "Sister what are you doing!? Stop this madness!" "I’m not the mad one here he is!" "I'm insane!" He yelled back. "Twilight use the element's and i promise you'll only spend half of your life on the moon." Celestia growled. "No!" Celestia turned to see her student standing between her and Discord, and after her Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbowdash, Rarity and Fluttershy. "I'm giving you a direct order!" "And I said no! You’re not sane right now! Stop it before somepony gets hurt!" "No! He will pay!" She launched forward ramming into him and sending him into the building behind. Twilight was getting another spell ready when she got shot with a different kind of spell. Her mind went blank and not soon after her friends joined her. Celestia turned her attention to her sister who was hugging Discord crying. "Please stop! He didn't do anything! It was only me!" She yelled at her sister. Celestia only snarled blowing smoke out of her nostrils. "Twilight fire the elements on my command!" The mane six got in formation. "On my mark!" "Sister please!" Discord was slightly dazed. "Get ready!" "Stop it!" The six floated up into the air. Discord had gained his senses back. "Fire!" The six shot out the rainbow. Discord got in the way of Luna. "Discord no!" Luna cried full of shock. Celestia finally calmed down enough that she realized what she had done. Discord was hugging Luna, tears matting both of their fur below their eyes and his bottom torso already stone. "Luna... I... love...you!" He yelled out letting the last of the stone encase him in the intimate embrace. "No! No! Discord, why!?" She cried. "Sister I-" "You! You did this to him! He didn't even do anything!" Luna said coming out of Discord's embrace. Letting a single tear fall on his shoulder sizzling. Making the stone dissolve. "I only wanted to protect you!" Celestia yelled now backing away. Luna was now turning black and her entire body was getting longer. "Like how you "Protected" me before!? when you made me turn on him!? When you made him have his own love encase him in stone for a thousand years!?" "I was-" Her hair was now red along with her eyes. "A fool! Do you want to know why I really turned into Nightmare Moon!? It was because of you!" "M-Me?" "Yes you! You broke not just his heart but mine too that night! And now I’m going to tear yours out!" She was charging her horn when she felt something touch her shoulder. She turned around and saw Discord standing there frowning. "Luna stop... it's alright." He said hugging her. She started to turn back into her bulkier midnight blue self before hugging him, crying into his shoulder. "Luna are you hurt?" "No, I’m just happy you’re alright." "I could be better." "And how is that?" "If i were to take you on a date." Luna turned slightly dark until she saw her sister doing a "go on" motion with her hoof. "I-I would love that." "How does Prance sound?" "Wonderful, now come here." She wanted to hug him again but instead he kissed her. On the lips. In front of her sister and the entire town. Yet she found herself wrapping her fore-hooves around his neck and his arms around her neck. It felt like hours had passed before they separated. Luna recovered and held her wings out in front of Discord who simply pushed her wing away and walked straight up to Celestia with a snarl on his face. "How dare you!" "Discord listen-" "No you listen! I love your sister, and if you can't accept that even after a thousand years then you can kiss my tail and send us both to the moon! Because I don't give a damn bucking feather what you think! I'm not hiding anymore; I will fight you if you so much as touch a hair on her! I will make the darkest thing's in Tartarus seem like rabbit's after I’m done with you! So back off or else!" He finished jabbing her in the chest with his eagle talon. Celestia was scared. She was scared of what was supposed to be the spirit of chaos, something that usually made cotton candy clouds was now threatening her. She was scared. "It is alright... You are free from us watching over you. Just make sure you don't make another love potion." "No it is not alright-wait what!? I can date your sister!?" "And I hope to have you as family, so yes. Just take care of her, protect her and make sure she doesn’t get hurt." "Would you quit worrying, I’m going to protect her with my life." "Good, and I think I owe you all and apology." "Princess?" Twilight said walking up to her. "Yes Twilight?" "Permission to speak freely?" "Go on." "What is bucking wrong with you!? You nearly killed everyone in Canterlot, threatened the life of everypony in town, brainwashed me and my friends and had us attack Luna! Have you finally gone insane!?" Celestia and everyone else could just stare in open shock as they watched the little unicorn heave with her back arched. "Whew! Glad I finally got that out... heh heh. It feels so good to finally vent my anger towards something other than some boulders! But not as fun as seeing them explode." Twilight finished smiling; not even realizing she had already assaulted her teach/ruler/second mother and cussed her out. "I'll go repair the damage now." Celestia said before being stopped by Discord. "Allow me." He said before snapping his fingers letting everything go back to normal. "Discord if there is anything I can do-" "Celestia shut up, and let me give you this." Before she could ask he summoned a sphere of yellow light in his lion paw and plunged into her chest. Everyone gasped as they saw Discord fall to the ground while Celestia rubbed her head. "Discord... what did you just do?" "I... gave you... my mind... altering ability." He wheezed out getting back up only to summon a large glass of lemonade and chugging the glass before throwing the liquid back. To explode into a goat. "Why?" She asked. "So you would trust me. I can't date your sister without you making sure I’m not using her now can i?" "No, but why me? Why not her?" "You would have thought I was just using her. I needed your trust so you won't end up trying to kill me again, we wouldn't want another Ghastly Gorge would we?" Six ponies gasped. "You and her made Ghastly Gorge!?" Rainbow yelled. "Yes, yes. But don't worry nothing died. Nothing except my heart..." "Discord, how about we go home and we just go back to bed?" Luna asked nuzzling him. "That sound's delightful... but first I think we all deserve a little treat." He snapped his fingers. "Discord what did you just do?" Luna asked leaning her had back to stare at him. "Nothing too bad, now look up the show's about to begin! Oh, and if you’re wondering why I called you Skittles Rainbowdash this is why. Quick everyone open their mouth and chew!" Only him and Pinkie had their mouths open to catch the small colorful candies that were falling from the sky. Soon after everyone from Canterlot to Hoofington was in a Skittlecane. While everyone wasn’t looking at him he snapped his fingers again. He filled Celestia's room with Swiss cheese and put her bed in pudding. His plan was coming together perfectly.
Drunk shenanagins and sunglasses.View OnlineLunar madnessDrunk shenanagins and sunglasses.Everything was as it should be. Celestia covered in cheese, Cookie attacking the pastry chefs, Discord being chased through the castle by Celestia and Luna watching the whole thing laughing. "Discord come back here!" "Why would I do that?" "So I can send you through a wall for sending me up it!" "Would you quite with the cheesy jokes?" Unfortunately he wasn't watching where he was walking and slipped on some cheese. "Now I got you!" She was on top of him pinning his shoulders with her front hooves. "Celestia! You know I’m dating your sister right? I can understand the reason for jealousy though but there is only one of me." Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink but she still had the hellfire burning in her eyes. "I know that. Now fix my room!" "Tsk, tsk Celestia. First get off me, second go take a shower and third are you going to eat that?" He grabbed a slice of Swiss of her horn and then dived into her room. In seconds it was clean with him lying on her bed licking his fingers. "Now that was good." "Just get out, and don't walk in without knocking this time." "Hey it's not my fault you didn't have a door. Actually it is my fault." "Discord, why don't you and me go down to Ponyville and see if everypony has adjusted fully to you? Who knows, I might dance too if you start another musical number." Luna said already walking away. Who ran out of the door to leave Clelestia to shower. He also left Cookie in the shower with her. He caught up to Luna quickly and made sure to stay by her front, already hearing the screams of her sister he knew they'd be mad but he needed to release some of his periculum. "That sounded dirty." He mumbled under his breathe. "What was that dear?" "Nothing my sweet, just breaking the forth wall again. So would you care to choose the date for out date or would you rather have me?" "I am free tonight, so it might be our only chance. For now though, why don't we just go enjoy ourselves?" "Were not that far along yet are we? Although I’m not saying I would mind." She rolled her eyes and gave him a little push making him chuckle. "You know Luna, I feel kind of bad having to know that your sister as much as she annoys me, has to deal with snobs like that Blueblood fellow. I think I may go send her a little gift, what do you think?" She stopped and looked him dead in the eyes. "Discord do not prank her. Her court is stressful enough as it is and she doesn’t need the room filled with seafood again." "I'm not going to prank her, just send her a little visitor to lighten things up. Although I think i need to go do something before I go." "Go take a shower yourself?" His eyes shot open in realization. "I knew I forgot something when you took me out to dinner! How could I be so stupid to forget to shower?" "You’re not stupid, just insane." "Thanks you always knew what to say." He kissed her on the forehead much to her embarrassment before teleporting to his own bathroom. "I might as well get this over with..." He got into his cramped little curved shower and turned the water on full blast. It was arctic cold. "Augh! Why would anyone put it on this!?" He yelled slithering out before seeing a note on the door. "Dear Discord, I told you not to mess with me. Love Cel(Troll)estia." "Curse you Trollestia." He growled throwing away the note before turning the heat on. He slithered in and this time it was a nice relaxing warm spray. After he was done he got out, skipped the mirror because it was covered in ice and left for Ponyville. And as always they all stared, but this time almost half of them smiled and waved which he returned. "Now what do I do?" He asked himself walking nowhere in particular. "Watch out!" He turned before he was blindsided by a little red wagon, and four foals. They went flying into a pear cart and came up almost unscathed. That much couldn't be said for Discord. He peeled himself off the pavement; his tail all the way to his head had two little black wheel marks. He got up and brought out an air pump before blowing himself up like a balloon and making a classic farting sound from his mouth before turning to the driver. "Do I even want to know why you were going that fast in a public area?" The Crusader's shrunk slightly. "We were actually going back to the club house to discuss what course of action to proceed with in trying to obtain our Cutie marks." Sweetiebelle said while getting strange look from the other three. "That sounds like fun, in fact would you mind if I join you?" "Don't you already have yours?" Scootaloo asked getting her helmet back on. "I'm a Draconequiss, not a pony. Well only part pony, snake, deer, dragon, lion, eagle, goat, falcon, bat, basilisk and a hydra." They all stared at him in shock. "Ya' can't be part hydra, or basilisk otherwise we'd be stone." Said Applebloom. "You would be if I weren’t wearing my contact lenses." "What are those?" "You ponies put them on your eyes so you can see without glasses while I need them so I don't break my second rule." "What second rule?" Asked Dinky. "Here let me show you." With a snap of his fingers they were all back in Canterlot tower when Discord came back. Celestia was leading the mane six through the Element's chamber. "It seems an old foe of mine...someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned." Fluttershy stopped to look at the Stain glass window with Discord on it. And immediately ran back to the group shivering as Celestia continued. "His name is Discord." "Discord is the mischievous spirit of disharmony. Before my sister and I stood up to him, he ruled Equestria in an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness." She glared at the stain glass window of him. "Luna and I saw how miserable life was for earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns alike. So after discovering the Elements of Harmony we combined our powers and rose up against him, turning him to stone." "Alright princess!" Rainbowdash exclaimed. She continued to walk through the overly long hallway while still talking. "I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer are connected to the Element's, the spell has been broken." "No longer connected?" Asked Twilight worriedly. "This is Canterlot tower, where the Elements are kept inside. Since you all recovered them." She said standing in front of the tacky doors. "I need you to wield the Elements of Harmony once again and stop Discord, before he thrust's all of Equestria into eternal chaos." "But why us? Why don't you...?" Asked Twilight. "Hey, look! We're famous!" Said Pinkie, pointing at the stain glass window of the mane six. "You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe." Celestia continued. "Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power. And it is you, who must defeat Discord!" She finished flaring her wings. "Princess Celestia, you can coun’t on-" "Hold on a second!" Pinkie jumped in with a serious expression. "Eternal chaos come with chocolate rain, you guy’s! CHOCOLATE RAIN" Twilight quickly went to her teacher’s side. "Don’t listen to her, princess. We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmorny once again." Celestia got in front of the door and put her horn into the lock making all the cracks in it glow. It opened in a flash of blue light revealing and even tackier box. "You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case." Rarity said. "Have no fear ponies. I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord," She levitated the box over opening it to reveal nothing. "With these." Everypony gasped and Celestia dropped the tacky case. "Oh well. If anypony needs me, I’ll be outside in the chocolate puddles with a giant swizzle straw." Pinkie said leaving as the other ponies watched her leave with their mouths still open. "The Elements! They’re gone!" Twilight exclaimed as Celestia paced back and forth. "That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break. This doesn’t make sense..." Al sinister laugh echoed throughout the chamber before a disembodied voice began. "Sense? What fun is there in making sense?" "Discord! Show yourself!" "Did you miss me Celestia? I've missed you." Said the old stain glass Discord now moving freely on the windows. "It's quite lonely being encased in stone. But you wouldn't know that, would you? Because I don't turn ponies into stone!" The present time reappeared. The crusaders were staring at him in awe and wonder. "So you don't turn ponies into stone?" "Why would I? If I wanted a stone pony I’d just make a statue appear. Which gives me and idea to prank the Element's. You three wouldn't mind helping, would you?" "Sure! Cutie Mark Crusader Pranksters! Yay!" "My ears!" "Sorry Discord." They all replied. Later that day. Twilight was reorganizing the library for the forth-teenth time that week. "Spike! Where did you put the ink?" "I didn't touch it, owlowiscious did." "Who?" the owl replied. "You." Spike said turning to the owl. "Who?" "You." "Who?" "You! Twilight he's doing it again!" Spike huffed folding his arms and turning his back to the owl. "Spike, he's an owl. That's all he's going to say." There was a rapid knocking at the door which only grew more frantic. "I'm coming! Hold your horses!" She rushed over and saw Sweetiebelle standing there looking out of breathe. "Sweetiebelle? What's wrong?" "It's Discord and my sister, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Scootaloo, Dinky, Applebloom, Rainbowdash and Fluttershy! Something's happened!" "What happened!? Is somepony hurt!?" She asked now scared for her friends and children. "It was some kind of weird chicken snake! It-it came out of a bush and everypony but me looked at it! I just ran! Discord was the first so he couldn't save us; next it was Fluttershy and then the others!" "Where are they? We need to find it and make it release them." "There by Applejacks barn. But what if it's gone-" Twilight teleported them there in an instant. She looked around outside but saw no one. When she looked inside she saw a regular Pinkie part only the guests were more than just a pile of rocks. Discord was curled around with a screaming expression on his face while his hands were bunched up against his chest. Fluttershy was using the stare, while the others were frozen in shock. Even the crusaders were huddled together hugging each other for protection. "Which way do you think it went? Sweetie-No!" She looked down in shock to see Sweetiebelle frozen in a posture of fear with one hoof outstretched, pointing. Right behind her. Twilight with liquid fury going through her veins spun around only to come face to face with. Discord, her friends and the crusaders. She could only just stare in shock looking back and forth between the statues and the ponies plus Draconequiss in front of her. "Oh! That was the greatest prank I have ever played in my entire life!" Discord laughed rolling on the ground. And to his surprise Twilight started to laugh to. "Discord I could kill you right now, but you look too much like Pinkie Pie!" Twilight laughed. He sat straight up giving her a quizzical expression. "What do you mean, like Pinkie Pie? I’m not pink, puffy or poufy." "Yes you are!" She laughed while snorting. His face turned pale as he summoned a mirror. He screamed so loud it woke Luna from her sleep. He was pink and his mane, tail fluff and any other hair on him was bubblegum pink. "Trollestia!" He yelled down on his knees. He quickly teleported back to Canterlot castle's throne room. Where his arge nemesis was sitting there smiling. "Hello Discord, back so early?" "You turned me pink!" "I know your dating my sister but there’s no need to hide your feelings from me, even if I don't feel the same way." "I hate you so much." "Then why are you blushing?" He growled before taking the pink off. And putting it on Celestia. "If you'll excuse me, I’ve got a lovely lady to take to Prance for a night on the town." He teleported out of the throne room and right into Luna’s. Right when she was stepping out of the shower. Discord turned away before he saw what she didn't want him to. She laughed and even snorted. "Discord it is perfectly alright for you to see me. You've seen me wet before." "Tis’ not proper for a gentleman to look at a lady as she is not dressed." He replied with a thick Trottingham accent. "Discord I don't usually wear clothes, none of us do." It hit him like a ton of bricks. "Your right! I've been streaking! I feel so alive!" He yelled before running out of Luna’s room and into his. She merely laughed before drying herself and putting on her makeup and dress. She saw Discord in the doorway with a black tux opened all the way, a white shirt, white pants with a black belt and a white fedora with the same type of belt. "Are you ready?" He asked extending his paw. She took it in her own hoof. "Yes, my sweet." In an instant they were under the Eifel tower. "I've never actually been to Prance before." Said Luna taking in the scenery. "I have, when It was out for those few hours, I turned the tower into a giant sandwiched using the tower as a toothpick. I wonder if anyone remembers me?" All the Prench ponies saw the two together and immediately pulled out pitchforks and torches. "Uh oh..." "Discord now would be a good time to leave." "Agreed, I think Sugercube Corner is serving dinner now." He snapped his fingers right before the mob reached them. One lone stallion that was sitting on a bench reading the newspaper only looked up at where they once were. "Stupid, equestrians." Both Princess Luna and Discord were back in Ponyville's Sugercube Corner. There was one table in the entire room, even the counter was gone. And in its place at the front. Pinkie wearing a small tuxedo with a red tie holding out two menus. "Your majesty, sir chaos." She said in a business like tone that contradicted her usual self. "Ugh... Pinkie what is this?" Discord asked looking around the furnished room. "This is where you and your sweet will be having you date. Sit, please." They looked at each other before shrugging and taking their seats. She handed both of them menu's which actually didn't consist of that many diabetes causing dessert's. "I am trying to give these two a romantic night, and give the fans the good stuff. Be quiet author." She hissed at the author. "Ya were trying to have a dinner here and all you've done so far is talk. So shut up already." Discord said. The author sighed telling this needed to hurry up. "What are you two doing?" Asked Luna. "Nothing to worry yourself about. I was just telling the author to stop talking and let us eat. It’s a forth wall breaking thing, you wouldn't understand." "Right, so have you decided what you want?" "I'll take the carrot steak and watered wine." "Yes sir, and for the lady?" Pinkie asked. "I'll have the baked potato and asparagus with watered wine-no wait, moonshine." "As you wish." She took both of their menus and walked back into the kitchen, while as soon as she went in she came out of the opposite door. She quickly handed them their food and drinks, leaving them to what she had done to the drinks. As she was walking back into the kitchen she removed her former attire exposing a black turtle neck and night vision goggles. "You ready Stalkerloo?" She asked to the darkness only to have three green lights turned on. "Ya, what about those two?" "Oh them, well let's just say, it looks like somepony spiked the punch." Stalkerloo face-hoofed. "Did you just seourisly make that joke again?" "I don't see what's wrong with it. So you ready to sneak into Sprinkles shop or are you chicken?" "You Pinkie promised you wouldn't call me that!" "Your right! Quick let's go before I find me!" She bolted up the nearest vent with her partner in crime in tow. "Did you hear something?" Discord asked sipping from his wine after already finishing his meal. "Yes, it sounded like something’s in the vents." "It’s probably raccoons." "Yes you’re probably right. So what have you done today?" She asked sipping from her own drink. "I taught the crusaders another history lesson, pranked Twilight and I was publicly humiliated by your sister." Luna groaned shaking her head. "What did she do that was so bad?" "She turned all my fur pink. Bubblegum pink." "I hated it when she did that to me." "She's done it to you? Huh, I guess she isn't as picky as I thought. So what have you been doing?" "I turned back into Nightmare Moon to save you, freed you from stone, got spied on by a peeping tomcolt and got ran out of Prance by an angry mob on my first visit. It's been very interesting." "You’re the first person who didn't pause when they said that." They both took another sip from their drinks until downing them. Now they were completely wasted. "H-Hey Luna... Do y-you want to know something?" "W-What?" "I-I hear this D-Discord guy thinks you’re pretty." "I-I know that... H-Hey do you want to go back to the castle?" "Sure. W-What did you have in mind?" Her voice took on a sultry tone and her eyes were half closed. "I was thinking me and you, together, in the same bed. Think how mad Tia would be." "I like that idea." He teleported them back to Luna’s room. She closed the curtains and he was lying down. She climbed up and kissed him. He kissed back. He slowly moved his talon and paw down until he was rubbing her Cutie mark. She moaned in response and flipped them around. He took off his shirt and she took off her dress. "You ready for dessert?" She asked suggestively. "You know all my teeth are sweet, sugar." "Then why not eat this?" She spread her legs apart letting him have full access. He leaned his head forward and gave a gentle lick before plunging his dragon tongue in. She moaned instantly each time he moved it around. He slowly moved his tongue further in until he was at his snout. He slowly started to move his tongue in circles eliciting more moans of pleasure from her. He licked up hitting an extremely sensitive spot. He began tracing around there each time making her moan and twitch even more. She wrapped her back legs around his head forcing him to put his snout in. she felt herself start to tense giving the obvious sign she was about to climax. He pulled his had away taking in deep breathes. "I...need...to breathe too." He panted. She blushed from the alcohol and what she was doing. "Sorry, but it felt so good." "And I know something that will feel great." "What?" "You have to have the main course before the dessert." He took off his pants exposing his risen dragonhood. "Well, what are you waiting for?" He bent forward and kissed her, slowly trailing down her neck and onto her stomach where he stopped and smiled before slowly entering her. She gasped, and moaned even loader than before wrapping her fore-legs around his neck. He was pushing back and forth even he was growling now. He quickened his pace and started to rub her Cutie mark with his paw and talon while he nibbled on her feathers. She arched her back in pleasure as he hit a sensitive spot on her wing. He noticed this and began to lick and blow on the particular area sending her senses overboard. In one cry of bliss she was sent over the edge and arched her back letting out a cry of pure ecstasy. Discord was getting close now also, his breathing became more heavy and hot until he wasn't breathing but once every few thrusts. He growled when he felt her climax and that nearly sent him over but he kept rutting her. He began to go in faster and faster until she was moaning in delight just barely on the brink of conscious. With one final push he released his load into her letting out a roar that could rival an Ursa Major. They both lay panting there one asleep while the other just lays there peacefully breathing until he also succumbs to sleep. "Wow, that was one of the best dreams I think I’ve ever had the pleasure of having." Discord said before yawning. "It was the best night of my life so far." He looked to see Luna smiling up at him. "How mad do you think old Celly will be?" "How mad will I be about what?" She said walking in and stopping. She sniffed the air and her eyes widened. "You little runt!" She yelled making her mane start to smoke. "It's not my fault or hers! Pinkie Pie drugged our drinks!" "Do you actually-" "It's true! I was there!" Said Luna now sitting upright, he mane a mess. "If that's true, then what do you have to say Discord, because if I get grandkid's I’m holding your sorry tail responsible." "It looks like I’m..." He pulls out a pair of black sunglasses and puts them on. "Royally Bucked!" And somewhere someone in the room this was played as he finished those words.
The chapter where nopony gives a buck.View OnlineLunar madnessThe chapter where nopony gives a buck.Celestia rolled her eyes at his little joke while Luna was looking around trying to see where the noise had come from. When a loud gargle emanated through the room. "It looks like that little experience has left me a bit empty." Discord chuckled before summoning a stack of apple pancakes with bacon. Both of the princesses just stared at the strange meat. Because they didn't know it was meat. "Discord, what is that horrid smell coming from that?" Luna said putting a hoof over her nose to keep out the smell. "Bacon." "I've never smelled hay bacon strips like that before." He raised an eyebrow before finally getting it. "Oh, oh! You thought this was hay. I hate to admit this but I’m not entirely a herbivore." "What does that mean?" Celestia asked putting up a spell to keep out the smell. "I'm an omnivore, I eat meat and plants. Although I do have two stomachs for each so if one is full I need to fill the other." He shrugged at their shocked expressions before continuing to eat in his room. "This could cause problems." Celestia said. "I don't think he'll eat anypony, so I doubt there is any need to worry about that." "No, I mean about the kids." Luna's eye's shot open. "W-What kid's?" "Did he use protection or... go inside of you?" "No and yes... wait, does that mean I could be-" "No, it seems you are. I failed to tell you this earlier because I didn't think I would have to. As it seems the actions of a certain Element of laughter have caused this, I need you two to go shopping." "Shopping? For what?" "The essential's you know, formula, diapers, a crib or two, blanket's, toys, baby stuff. I'm sure you'll be alright." "So I’m going to be a mother?" "It seems so, as you know Discord is more than one way unique to ponies and we alicorns. He can have children with any being he chooses." Luna looked like she was about to cry before she smiled and cried running out of the room. Not soon after there was the sound of a plate shattering, choking and finally something hitting the floor. Luna walked back in with no expression visible on her face. "Celestia, I told Discord and he seems... happy. I think that when he wakes up we'll go down to Ponyville and he can earn a few bits before we go shopping. He also might need the jaws of life." She walked back out to go get some breakfast herself. "Atleast he's happy. I just hope I don't get another Blueblood." Celestia shivered at the thought of another him running around only with the power to bend reality. One hour later in Discord’s room. He suddenly woke up taking in a deep breath of air. "Wha-What's going on!? Where am I!?" He looked around frantically until noticing Celestia sitting there smiling. He also noticed he had something in his mouth. He pulled it out and found it to be some sort of clamp. "Celestia, why were the Jaws of Life being used on me?" "You fainted after you started to cheer that you were having a child, and you chocked on your food." "I think I remember that, and Luna stroking my paw earlier. But I think that was just a figment of my imagination." "Yes it was now you and her need to go down to Ponyville so you can earn a few bits to by baby supplies." "You do realize who you’re talking too, right? I don't need to buy anything, when I can just make it appear out of thin air. Plus do you think it'll be a good idea for me and her to go shopping for baby items when there’s a walking marshmallow who gossips daily, a hyperactive sugar pony who won't stop talking and would through a part if she found out, a pony who can’t lie, another pony who'll let it slip and another who'll just say it in a type of question?" Celestia was speechless; she hadn't thought of any of that and risked the public finding out. "You actually thought it through, I’m impressed. Yet still worried for the children." "Why? They have two loving parent's, an insane auntie, a house over there head, food to eat, and the most responsible dad to exist." "You? Responsible? Please, that's the day when I give you the throne and I become your servant." "I remember when you were at one time. You looked so silly in that pink Prench maid outfit." "I thought we agree to not speak of that ever again." "I had my fingers crossed. That’s another perk with being me; I cannot promise a promise when I do that." "Can you atleast promise to marry Luna?" "Why? Are you finally giving me your blessing?" "No, I need to see you two commit a single act of true love that isn't acted out." "I can copy my memory of me and Luna bucking?" "Please no, I’m stressed out enough as it is." "Oh that reminds me! Here take this!" He handed her a pink umbrella. "What's this for?" "because, it looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos!" "I should be worried but I just don't give a buck. Do what you want but I expect to see my sister in a wedding dress." Celestia walked out carrying the umbrella on her back. Discord was going to hate this next part. He had to read. He teleported to the Canterlot library, it still had cheeses dust yet smelled like parchment. He walked over to the mare behind the desk who didn't seem to care he was there. "Excuse me mam, but do you have any books on transdimentional teleportation?" "Isle five, section ACB104I65B." "Thank you." He walked over to the fifth isle and started to search immediately, after a while he just picked up a random book and low and behold it was the one he was looking for. "Now it’s time to study." He physically grimaced at the thought of even looking in a book that didn't have pictures or was another gateway to another universe. But in a way, this was another gateway to another universe. He opened the book slowly as if expecting him to attack him, like that monster book did. All he saw were words. He quickly let out a sigh of relief and started to skim the pages until he found what he was looking for. After a half hour he knew what he needed and if someone/pony saw him they'd call him "Giddy Discord." He quickly threw the book behind him and ran to find Luna. Who was walking into the library when he got the door slammed in his face. "Discord? What are you doing in a library?" "No time to explain! We need to find your sister! Where is she?" "She's in day court, inside the throne room. Why-" She found herself right outside of the doors to the throne room with Discord peeking inside. "This is going to be great!" "Who or what are you summoning?" "The most chaotic being next to me and Pinkie Pie," He said aiming his talon like a gun at the throne rooms ceiling, letting it charge with magic. "60s era Spiderman!" He shot the magic, whoever was in there were screaming and Celestia opened up her umbrella letting it fold upwards. There were white clouds forming overhead, swirling, and becoming darker before there was a bright flash of light. And there on the table, was a man wearing a spider suit. He looked around and saw all the ponies. "Holy shit I’m high." Celestia was staring at the "creature" unsure of what to make of it. "Who are you? And what are you?" "I'm Human, and I’m Spiderman!" He tried to shoot his webs only to get lifted up a few feet before realizing he was stuck ground level. He crossed his arms and sat down on the table. "This is bullshit, nobody grounds Spiderman." "Discord get in here!" The door immediately opened up letting in a giggling Draconequiss and lunar princess. "Discord, send him back now." Celestia said making him stop giggling before slowly backing up to the window. "You see the thing is-Spiderman jump!" Both Discord and Spiderman jumped out the window. Leaving an entire court room of confused ponies in their wake. They all said the first thing that came to mind. "What. The. Buck."
we tried to catch him.View OnlineLunar madnesswe tried to catch him.Author's note: I gave Luna's other form a name. Discord wasn't even past the window sill when he put up the invisibility cloak. "Let me go, do you know who I-" Spiderman was mumbling under his mask when discord put his paw over the front of his mask. "Be quite, or they’ll know where here." He stopped struggling and looked up. Celestia was flying out the window alongside Luna. Who looked down and squinted as if trying to look at something. "Sister, do you smell that?" Asked Luna turning to her sister. She sniffed the air once and looked down. After some silence Discord reappeared holding Spiderman at arm’s length. "What did you eat!?" He coughed. "I don't know, lol." "Oh, well great know your definitely going back, as soon as I find the chapter in the book for that." "Discord, why did you bring him here?" Celestia asked flying up to Spiderman who was looking at her. "I brought him here to brighten things up. You said you were stressed so I brought him here to... well you know." "You must be wondering what's going on, is that right?" Celestia asked keeping her distance from the noxious fumes. "Not really, lol." He shrugged. "Lol? What does that mean?" "I don't know, lol." "I see, in the meantime Discord will watch you." They both turned to each other. "Ok, not like I give a fuck." "Could you please not use such foul language?" "I'm not the one being a racist!" "What? I haven't-" "Admit it!" He freed one arm to point at her. "I have-" "Admit it!" She rolled her eyes in annoyance before doing what he said. "Yes-" "Admit it!" She charged her horn pointing it at him. "Hey, I’m the one who’s supposed to have my horn pointing at you." She raised her horn back up to look at him before realizing what he said making her blush. "Discord get him away from the castle, before he causes any more trouble. And before I burn him from existence." "Too late! I’m already on fire." Discord chuckled at his joke before teleporting back to Ponyville's Whispering Oaks library. "Hey Twilight! I’ve got someone for you to meet!" She looked up to Discord from the book she was reading and saw him holding Spiderman. "Hey." "What is that!?" Twilight screamed aiming her book at him ready to throw it. "Twilight, 60s era Spiderman. 60s era Spiderman, Twilight." Discord let Spiderman go to let him walk around. And as expected he escaped. "Quick get him!" Discord yelled diving through the window after him. Twilight also jumped through. Two minutes later, back at Canterlot. Discord popped into the throne room with Twilightsparkle. Both of the Princesses gasped. Discord was hogtied, one of his wings were bent backwards, he had a black eye and a red lump on his head, he was also missing all of his teeth with the exception of his snaggle tooth and some of the spines on his tail were missing. Twilight had her head webbed to her tail, she also sported what appeared to be bite marks, her nose was bleeding and a few of Discords teeth were lodged in her left front leg. "By the stars and moon, what happened!?" Luna nearly shrieked. "Ohhhh... it hurts so much." Discord moaned. "What did he do to you!?" "He managed to beat both of us." Twilight said cutting the web with her magic before cutting Discord free. "Ow." He mumbled hitting the floor. Luna rushed over to Discord and began stroking his head. "Don't worry well get him back, Dead or alive." "Sister do you think that is wise?" Celestia asked healing Twilight. "Yes! Look what he managed to do to my little diizzy-wizzy and your student!" "Twilight, did you atleast try and use your magic?" "Yes, but I couldn't catch up with him and he kept shooting web in Discord’s eyes." "I must say, he is an impressive advisary, beating both the Element of magic and god of chaos in less than... two minutes." "Tried... talking... got mad... so much pain." Discord said slightly lifting his head up only to fall back into his lovers lap. "I hope you learned your lesson discord about bringing transdimentional beings here." He gave only a one eyed blink in response before slowly snapping his fingers. His wing snapped back into place, his eye healed and new teeth and spines popped into their rightful places. "I am so going to squash that bug." He growled. "Princess, he also wanted to give you a message." Twilight squeaked trying to get even closer than she already was. "Does it have any of that foul language in it?" "No, no... He wanted to tell you that... run, run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me I’m the Spiderman." "He’s going to be fried if I see him again." Both Luna and Discord said. "Very well, you two may search for him. In the mean time Discord; look up how to send him back." "I'll make sure to send him back in pieces!" "What happened to you don’t hurt ponies?" "He's not a pony." "Hey." Everyone turned around and saw Spider man there lying on the window sill. He spoke only one line before swinging off. "My body is ready." Discord yelled and flew after him, Luna turned back into her more Nightmare Bloodmoon self and went with him. Two minutes later Discord and Bloodmoon came back. Discord had both of his horns snapped off, parts of his fur and scales also torn off, another black eye, a burn mark, a large red area on his chest and the end of his tail missing. Bloodmoon, had part of her horn clipped, a bloody gash on her cheek, what looked like a broken leg and wing, a black eye, a few gashes on her side and feathers hanging off loosely. "This is humiliating." Said Bloodmoon. "It could have been worse." Discord shrugged healing them both. "How?" "You still have all of your teeth." "Good point." "I'll send for the guards. Now I know he needs to be captured." Celestia said walking over to Luna now. "I agree, we can't let him wander around freely." Twilight said. "Discord we need you to research how to get him back now. Discord?" Celestia asked looking around where Discord was only to see a note. "Dear Celestia, I’ve gone to go read the entire book. I also took Twilight to help point out flaws in it. Discord. P.S. Twilight says hi." "It's good he's finally taking responsibility." "I hope another human like him doesn’t appear ever again." Luna pouted stomping the floor in frustration making it crack. "I do to; is there anything I can do to comfort you?" "I could an ice cream." "What kind?" "It doesn’t matter, it's for my ass." "Luna! Language." "I think I deserve one curse for what has just happened." "I suppose your right. Come along then, let's go see what we can find."
attack plan's, dance plan's and writing.View OnlineLunar madnessattack plan's, dance plan's and writing.Discord was now yelling into his muzzle Twilight put on him. "Discord could you please be quiet, I know you want him gone but so do I." He tore the muzzle off revealing a full set of razor sharp teeth. "He's gone too far! It's one thing to beat me up but, when you go after Luna its personal!" "Discord, the sooner he's gone the sooner you and her can get married." His eye's softened slightly to the point where the fire died out on his hair. "I guess that is one thing to look forward to. Seeing my beloved in a gorgeous white dress walking down the aisle..." He slowly began daydreaming about what their marriage would be like. He quickly got woken out of it by being slapped by a blushing Twilight. "Why did you sap me?" He asked rubbing his cheek. "You were about to kiss me." "You could have stopped me sooner." "Just keep reading, who knows we might-I found it!" "What! Where!? Let me see!" He grabbed the book and quickly started to read through the two pages. "That's it? I just need to reverse the spell?" "You also need 1.21 gigawat's of electricity." "So I need to get struck by lightning?" "Precisely, but don't worry it doesn’t hurt as much as you'd think." "How would you know?" "It happened the last time Luna visited. It was when she scared Rainbow and her cloud shot me." "Ouch." "Not really, it's quite painless as long as it hits a central magic system like it did with my horn." "Great, not only do I have to get shot by lightning, but I also have to catch it." "Let's just go tell the princesses." He teleported them both too the monarchs for an odd shock. Luna was sitting in a tub of ice cream with her front hooves crossed. "We've found the spell, only theirs some bad news." Discord said startling Luna making her sink into the bucket. "What's the bad news?" Celestia asked. "I need to catch a bolt of lightning and do the spell backwards." "That's it? Even Twilight could do that." "Can we focus on what's important right now!?" "Yes, of course; I apologize Discord." "What we need to do is catch him first. Then we can send him back." "But how? Won't we need bait?" Asked Luna with the ice cream tub stuck to her rump. "He wants to cause as much trouble as possible right? So why not give him the chance?" "What do you mean by give him the chance?" Celestia asked cautiously. "Oh, I’m thinking about a certain time here in Canterlot castle, that I know Twilight and her friends are very familiar with." "You don't mean... that?" "Oh yes, I do. Luna, Celestia, Twilight." He stood up grinning in alight smile that said "I’ll get you Spiderman." "It's time for the Grand Galloping Gala." All the ponies in the room gasped, even the guards. "I'll go with Twilight and tell her friends that were going. I'm going to make sure it's mandatory." "Then' I’ll get the preparations ready." "Let me take care of that. Luna Celestia, please wear something nice, because I’ll be wearing that stupid little mask by the end of it." "When are we going to do it?" Asked Luna cleaning off the ice cream from her flank. "We already did it. When we’re going to have the ball is in five days." "Why five days?" "Your right, four will do. Arreviderci." He gave Luna a small peck on the lips before teleporting back to his room. "I think I’ll just be leaving, before anything else beats me up." Twiight said before teleporting back to her home/library/laboratory. "I think I’ll take care of the night this time sister. You go rest." "Thank you, I think I’ll stay with Discord and put some guards along with asking him to get rid of that balcony." "Luna, that room faces in the castle." "He must have made a one way portal. Goodnight, and watch out for any webs." She teleported away leaving her sister to bring the night up. Discord was sleeping soundly with his windows and balcony open only letting the wind in. He felt another presence next to him he was greeted by two large purple eyes. "I thought you might have wanted to sleep in here." "I didn't feel quite safe in my room. Not with him able to get in through the windows and balcony." He pressed his talon to her lips shushing her. "Let's not worry about him, let's just enjoy the time right now." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips as she rested her head on his chest wrapping a fore-leg around him as he stroked her back. Within seconds she was snoring softly. He silently got out from under her and moved over to his little desk, picking up his pen and book. "Dear ~~diary~~ journal, Today I have been humiliated by a half man half arachnid show off, I got an apology from Celly, and now I’ve got the perfect plan to get Celestia's blessing. A poem performed live. Princess Luna, Empress of the dark, fighter of the one's who lurk, protector of the ones who are in fright. Princess Luna, princess of the night, one of lunar light, bringer of stellar delight. The one of serenity and peace. Princess Luna, ruler of the late, silence and vaness. The one I love, Princess Luna, my beloved my sweet, will you give what I desire, or will you see me away. Princess Luna, I want to be yours till the end of our run. Princess Luna, ruler of the moon, soon will I put a ring on your hoof?" With that finished, he crawled back to bed, and rested with his dear, Princess Luna, ruler of the night. The pair of guards outside along with Celestia were listening to the whole thing. "Princess, permission to speak freely?" The guards asked. "Permission granted." "That was beautiful." The guard on the left said blowing his nose. "A work of art." Said the one on the right wiping away a manly tear. "It surely was. I think they have earned that blessing after all." She smiled knowing that everything was going just as she would have liked it. She gave a quick thank you to the guards by her door before going in. She took off her regalia and slipped into bed, snuggling under the silky covers, the lightly rough part to. Her eyes shot open that her window was open and as she turned to look next to her. Spiderman was sitting there on the edge with one arm around her. She screamed and jumped away. "I like where this is going." He said before back flipping out the window.
duty calls.View OnlineLunar madnessduty calls.Discord was silently eating alongside Celestia and Luna. No one dared to make a sound because if he was there, then he would strike. "I'm going to Ponyville, do either of you want to come?" Luna stood up and stood by his side while Celestia only shook her head once in response. In a second they were greeted by almost three-fourths of the town looking over, smiling and waving. "So, who should we tell first? Because I think Pinkie might get it around faster." "Get what around faster?" They both turned to see the energetic party pony along with Applejack, Twilight, Rainbowdash and Rarity. "That you’re all going to the Grad Galloping Gala!" He announced with his arms up in the air. "Why would we ever-" Rarity started but was cut off. "Listen, it's mandatory. That is of course you like that Show-off Spiderman around?" "You mean the one who beat me up?" Twilight heaved. "The one who hog tied Big mac?" Applejack scowled. "That ruffian who was playing with my drapes?" Rarity hissed. "That weird guy who’s was eating all of my cake? Oh, wait that was me." Pinkie giggled. "That weird red thing that kept calling me gay? Whatever that means." Rainbow shrugged. "Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. The one and only wall-crawler will be caught there. I just need you all to help set up a trap." "How could we help?" Asked Pinkie. "If I can't restrain him, were going to either send him to the moon or turn him to stone and send him back in pieces." "Good luck with that asshole." They all turned and saw Spiderman standing next to- "Fluttershy daring, why are you standing next to that ruffian?" "Because he's been teaching me how to use these." She pulled out her num-chucks. "Why would you ever want to learn martial arts?" "I don't know; I was just jealous of you. So long feather brains!" She actually yelled before having Spiderman grab on as she rocketed into the air. "She even did a sonic rainboom! That's my shtick!" Rainbow yelled chasing after the dynamic duo. Or the double D's. "You all might want to call the hospital." Discord said. "Why?" Asked Applejack. "Call critical care, immediately." "Discord can we go before, he comes back?" Luna asked slightly shivering. "Yes, that is a great idea." He teleported them both into the castle's kitchen where Luna was already digging through the fridge. She pulled out a slice of vanilla cake before dumping pickles and Prench dressing on it. "Luna, why are you putting that on cake?" Discord asked watching as she crammed almost the entire piece into her mouth. "I just had this craving for it. Did you want some?" "No, I think I’ll get my own food." He opened the freezer and pulled out a tub of chocolate ice cream which he immediately started to eat. Luna was staring at him with an almost hysterical expression. He raised his eyebrow to that and with the spoon still in his mouth he asked the question that sent her to the floor. "What?" She fell over laughing and squirming. "That's the ice cream... from earlier!" "The one that had your flank in it?" He asked slowly looking down at the tub. "Yes." She said calming down enough to get up. "I thought it tasted familiar." He said before continuing to eat it again. "I’m not sure if I should be flattered or disgusted." "Probably disgusted. By the way you might want to watch out for Cookie, he loves cake." "Squee!" "Ahh! get him off!" "Cookie no! Bad dodo!" Discord dropped the tub before pulling Cookie off Luna and teleporting him to Celestia's room. "I think, we should get him fixed." Said Luna spitting out a silver feather clump. "Now that's just inhumane. He's not attacking anyone important besides you." "He attacked my sister earlier." "He's not attacking anyone important besides you." She rolled her eyes before getting up. "Come along discord, we need to plan." "Already ahead of you. I thought it all out when we got here." "So what are we going to do?" "Were going to cause a lovey-dovey scene he'll come out, I’ll put a shield around the room and then teleport everyone one else out. Leaving him there with the Element's, me, you, the guards and Celestia." "That's actually very thought out." "Yes I’m an evil mastermind, but I’m the lovable kind." He said grinning. "Yes you are. So what are we going to call him or her?" "What?" "The foal. Our child." "Ah yes! I was thinking if it was a boy, Orion buzz saw." "Buzz saw? Why that?" "Trust me, if he takes after me in any way mentally, he'll love a good saw." "And if it's a girl, I was hoping to call her Apollo strife." "We'll I think that's a grand name. Don't you guy's think so to?" "Are you doing that wall breaking thing again?" "No, I’m talking to the guards and Celestia who are hiding behind the doors listening like they were last night." The doors slowly swung open revealing a nervous Celestia and two guards smiling like idiots. "Hello Celly. Enjoy the poetry last night; I know your guards did." "I...um, yes. It was wonderful." "Good, now I must be going. Someone needs to catch the lightning and it won't be any of you, especially Luna since she is in the condition she is." "Are you saying I’m fat!?" "No, but you may want to get rid of your sisters cake. It seems to do her more bad than good." "Why you little lizard!" Celestia yelled before charging him. He teleported out and she slipped on some Prench sauce causing her to fall face first into the tub of ice cream. Discord reappeared outside of Banana's and Dinky's house. He strolled up to the door and knocked gently. Before long the door opened and a grey pegaus opened it with a large grin on her face. "Hey Discord! I didn't expect to see you here, why are you here?" "I need your help to catch lightning." "Oh I’m sorry, but I’m allergic to lightning, it makes me break out in death." She shrugged. "Don't worry Banana's I’m the one catching it." She tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Why would you want to do that?" "I need to catch... a spider. So do you know any good places?" She scrunched up her muzzle and closed her eyes before opening them again in a happy smile. "Town hall!"
I just don't know what went wrong?View OnlineLunar madnessI just don't know what went wrong?Both Discord and Ditzy were at town hall. Discord made sure to put up an anti-lightning spell around an area roughly the size of Ponyville, with the exception of a bush at the edge of town for some reason. "Are you ready!?" Ditzy asked from atop her cloud. "Ready! Now fire away!" He called back up. She started to jump up and down trying to catch the bolts as they went haywire. He was trying to use his magic while at the same time catch them and before long he did. Until he got struck in the face by a bolt of lightning. He shot a stray bolt of magic through the air letting it explode in a white flash. Ditzy flew down, worry, concern and guilt on her face. "Discord are you alright!? Discord!" He sat up and blew a puff of smoke out of his mouth before heavily chuckling. "I'm not alright, I’m Discord." He said before falling down to the grown. He wasn't unconscious, just lying there. "I just don't know what went wrong?" "Neither do I." "You’re a klutz, that's what!" Yelled a colt in a newly formed crowd of ponies. Discord immediately sat up, wiping away the burn mark. "Which one of you said that?" He hissed making storm clouds form overhead unconsciously. "Me! Why did you let that klutz shoot lightning here again?" Said a tan colt with a wrench for a Cutie mark. "So I could get rid of a nuisance. One that will not go away until he is dealt with." "And who might that be? Who do you need her to beat, a muffin?" The colt laughed until having a brick thrown at him. It was a brown colt with a spikey mane, an hourglass Cutie mark and bowtie. "You leave her alone!" He barked. "Or what? You'll give me the time of day?" "I'll give you three seconds before I move onto railroad spikes!" "Please, you couldn't hurt a fly!" "If I can't hurt a fly then that should mean you’re even less than an insect." "Burn!" Called out a colt from the back. "Ya, so what? Atleast I’m not dating some wall eyed imbecile." Before the other colt could make a remark a bolt of lightning struck the other and sent him running away. Everyone, even Discord looked up to see Ditzy standing on a cloud with anger clearly on her face. "Thank you ditzy!" The brown colt yelled out before she flew down and hugged him. "No problem doc." "Who is this?" Discord asked with a pleasant smile. "I'm Doctor Hooves. You can just call me the doctor." "We'll thank you doctor. I was afraid I would have had to send an Ursa omega after him." "No problem, now I think me, my wonderful Ditzy and Dinky need to go. Someone’s got to save the world from the Daleks, am I right?" "Daleks?" "You don't want to know. Would you mind getting Dinky?" He nodded his head before Dinky appeared, utterly confused before seeing "The Doctor" and Ditzy. "Hi dad!" She said running up to hug him. "Hello Dinky, we need to go right now." "Is it those meany Daleks?" "I'm afraid so. Now come on, earth isn't going to save itself!" He pulled out a "pen" before a blue box with the words, "Police Box" written on it appeared. All three ran into it before it slowly started to disappear. Discord could only stand there staring with his mouth hanging open and his left eye twitching. "What just happened!?" A Green mare walked up next to him and only said one thing before walking away. "Same old, same old." Discord Teleported to the only other pegasai's house he knew that its inhabitant wouldn't be scared of lightning. Or have Spiderman near her. He knocked on the door before realizing it was open. He walked in and looked around. Aside from the cloud pools and cloud there was nothing wrong. He walked up stairs and saw the same thing. He did see the bathroom door creaked open and steam poring through the crack. He quickly made a blindfold and tried to go down stairs. At the first step he tripped and went falling down the cloud stairs. He landed in the wall with his head stuck and his legs sinking into the floor. "Well that had to be the most pleasant fall I’ve ever had." He took off the blindfold and was greeted by a cyan and red face. "Why were you in my bathroom!?" Rainbowdash yelled in his face. "I need your help." "With what?" "First, get out of my face; second I need you to shoot lightning at me." "You want me to shoot lightning at you?" "If you don't want to do it..." "Of course I’ll do it!" He was silently glaring at her enthusiasm. "I...mean, of course I’ll do it. What are friends for?" "You consider me a friend?" He asked as if he was about to get another kiss from Luna. "Well duh. You saved Scootaloo, and any friend of hers is a friend of mine." "Good, now where to find a storm?" "How about that one out there?" He turned around and saw storm clouds forming around Ponyville. "Huh, I didn't know there was a storm scheduled for today." "There isn't." Rainbow said now with fear in her voice. "Uh oh." "Uh oh! What does that mean!? What did you do!?" "When Ditzy was shooting lightning at me a stray one nailed me in the head... I think I was thinking of the spell I used to bring Spiderman here." "So there's going to be more of him?" "Hopefully not. Let's just blame it on Twilight; I’m sure she's messed with nature like this before." "Ya, let's just blame it on Twilight. Hey... wait, why isn't there any lightning or thunder?" "Your right. Why isn't there any?" "That's what I just asked." "Don't get smart with me." "I'll get smart if I want to." "Then just admit you were just now reading more of those magazines." "I was not!" "Then what's that smell in the air? Because it certainly isn't pine and roses." "So what if I do? Atleast I’m not the only one." "And who else is there?" "We'll while we were staying at Canterlot that one time I saw a few coltcuddler mags under Celestia’s bed, some fillyfoolers under Shining armors and a mix under Candace’s." "You wouldn't happen to have seen any under Luna’s did you?" "No, I even searched the place. Not a single thing, Celestia's room though..." "Let me guess, she had rope, a gag and a whip." He said sarcastically. "Ya." His breathing stopped and he looked straight at her. "Are you telling the truth?" "I'm no Applejack but, I am telling the truth this time." "Get a lightning bolt ready. I'm about to die of laughter!" He said before he started to laugh on the floor. He turned every color of the rainbow before passing out. “Lucky. He gets to bang the hottest mare in Equestria and live in a castle full of kinky royalty.”
A troll through the park.View OnlineLunar madnessA troll through the park.Discord heaved what air he could into his lungs. He sat up and reaized he wasn't in Cloudsdale anymore. he was in the park. With Spiderman looking over him. "Hey." "What do you wan't?" "Weed, bitches and booze." "I don't even care anymore, just leave me and my girlfriend alone. Celestia is all game." "No way, i go after what i want." "Could you not beat Luna up atleast, she is pregnant." "Holy shit! She's pregnant!? The fuck didn't you tell me, i love kids!" "Because i just want to send you back to your world. Now just leave me alone you ungateful psycho." "Now hold on for one minute, that's it? The fuck not, this place is boring as hell." "Are you saying you wan't to go back?" "Fuck yeah! I can't do shit with my webs!" "Well now your staying." "This is Bullshit, no one grounds Spiderman." "Atleast until we have a good fight!" Discord lunged at Spiderman who actually didn't dodge it in time. They both wen't rolling out of he trees with Discord biting at his opponent while he was just punching him. Discord grabbed him with his tail and started to smash him head first into the ground. All he did was throw his arms in the air. "Lol, i'm a peanut." He stuck out his webs and pulled himself free while spinning around to swing kick Discord. Who shot out a wave of chaos magic and sent him flying through a wall. Spiderman got up and slingshoted himseldf at Discord. He connected and now was pounding away at his face. Discord shot out a ball of fire amking him go flying up. Spiderman shot his webs out and pulled Discord forward while aiming to land on his back. Discord got up and swiped him away with his tail. Spiderman wen't sailing thorugh the air and landed in a bucket getting his foot stuck. He ran up to Discord and did a round house kick. And immediatly after doing so, Discord grabbed him by the chest and sent a few thousand volts of electricity coursing through his body. He was barely awake before he head butted Discord who didn't even flinch. "This is for Luna!" "Well i'm right fucked arent i?" Discord's talon started to glow and before Spiderman could utter another one of his famous line he was being pushed by a beam of yellow magic. Discord walked over to the now unconcious body of spiderman and put him in a set of chain's, a iron maiden, (Without the spikes) and a titanium cage. "Yes you are." He teleported both Spiderman and himself back to Canterlot, directly into the throne room. "Luna dear, i've brought you a present." Both sisters were staring at Spiderman's unconcious body wide eye'd. "H-How?" Luna barely mumbled. "I had finally had enough, so i snapped." "I must say Discord, from what he's done to you and Luna i'm impressed and grateful." Said Celestia walking up to the Discord and bowing. Celestia the ruler and enemy of the sirit of chaos was now bowing out of respect. "No one hurt's my little Whoona, i made a promise after all." "And you followed it to the letter. I'm very proud of you for this, truly i am." "You did this to protect me?" Luna said tears brimmin on her eyes. "Even when you knew you couldn't win?" "Now hush, i one this time. Now come here aand give me a hug." She rushed over and wrapped her forelegs around his neck. "Ohhh." Said Spiderman just waking up. "What the hell is this place?" "Where do you think?" Asked Discord with a triumphent smirk on his face. "Well, the traffic is hell, that one guy scared me to hell and it's hot as hell. So i must be in hell! And you all are my hellmates!" "Discord could you com here for a second?" Celestia Asked with a mischevious smirk. He bent down and she whispered a few words into his ear, which made him start to smile like a madpony. He snapped his fingers and the metal surrounding Spiderman's legs disappeared. "Bitch if i wanted a lap dance from a white hooker i would have gotten mary jane." She rolled her eyes and bucked him with as much force as she could. "My arachnids!" His cage with him in it crashed through the two throne room doors and emebeded themselves in the wall. "That's for trying to cuddle me." "Bitch!" She roled her eyes and walked back to the throne. "Discord send him back." Said Luna bringing Spiderman back in. "Gladly, but i still need a lightning bolt." "Can't you just make a storm cloud?" He face-pawed for not thinking of that before. "Get ready web crawler, because now your going back to whatever pit you crawled out from." The entire ceiling was encased in storm clouds and lightning started to flash leaving ear shattering thunder in it's wake, Discord's eagle talon started to glow and soon lightning was flashing around him. He caughtone and sen't his magic flying towards Spiderman. There was a giant flash and boom blowing outall thewindows and sending Discord into the thrones. When they all woke up Luna was laying in her throne upside down. Celestia's head was resting on Discord's lap with her tongue hanging out and snoring was heard coming from her. "Ahem." Discord coughed waking Celestia up. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, she yawned, she looked up and started to blush and scrape her tongue off with her hooves. "I know how you feel, but have some dignity will you, Celestia?" In the middle of the room was a large scorch mark resembling Spidermans logo. Discord leaned back and gave a sigh of releif. "You fucked up big time." They all turned to see Spiderman standing on the ceiling. "So long shitlords!" He gave them the one finger salute before jumping out through the only intact window shattering it. Discord leaned back and gave a sigh of defeat.
Dancing in the dark.View OnlineLunar madnessDancing in the dark.Author's note: The next Chapter will be in the future. Discord was in his bed, Luna and Cookie in hers and Celestia was in hers. Discord for the life of him couldn't believe what had happened. First he win's and then Spiderman escapes, plus now there's a giant storm cloud and giant portal coming from it. "Wait, portal!?" He yelled jumping through his portal leading to Luna's balcony. The storm clouds were now swirling rapidly with a large white portal in the center. There was a flash and a large object came out, flying towards Ponyville. In Ponyville, five minutes earlier. Twilight and the rest of the mane six were huddled together trying to figure out what to do. "Alright, what do we know about the clouds?" Asked Twilight with her chalk board out. "We know the pegasuses didn't make it." Applejack said. "It's pegasai, and secondly we know that the pegasai can't even touch it." Said Rainbowdash. "We know there’s a big portal coming out of it to!" Chirped Pinkie. "Pegasai didn't make it, pegasai can’t touch it and-Wait what portal!?" Twilight yelled running up to her window. Outside was a large portal with a object getting bigger and bigger in the view. Before long it emerged shrouding the town in light and shattering most of the lights in a thunderous roar. All the ponies went outside to see what caused the noise and property damage. "What is that?" Twilight yelled. "I don't know! But it's getting closer!" Yelled Rarity. Before they knew what was happening something flew out of the back and landed right in front of them. It was atleast nine-eight easily rivaling Celestia’s size, it was black and white, it stood upright and had a set of horns on its faceless head. It just stared at them before calmly walking into the street. Right where the "thing" was about to crash. Twilight swallowed a lump in her throat and approached it. "H-Hello?" It turned around quicker that she could register and before she knew it she was being carried away back to her friends where "it" sat her down. She nearly passed out from what happened next. It spoke in a deep, smooth, but gentle voice. "Stay." It said pointing at her and the rest before walking back to where it was before. it pulled out two weapons from holders on its back and set them to the side before taking a stance that suggested that- "It's going to catch that thing!?" Twilight yelled eliciting another response from the thing. "That's right now stay back. I don't want any of you getting shrapnel stuck in your heads." it said before planting its feet firmly into the ground. The object was now a few feet away and right before it hit, the thing it sent its hand through the front making the noise stop. It flipped over and the creature quicker than any one of the viewers could see jumped underneath and was holding it. It set down the metal object back on the flat part before tearing a hole in it. And come out with a large metal dragon. The girls screamed and were surrounded by a pink soft substance. Discord was standing over them. "Who and what are you?" Discord asked the creature. "Hold that thought, Rex could you get whoever that is falling?" "Of course." The dragon replied before spreading it's wings and small bursts of flame shot out from small ports on the ends. Seconds later it returned carrying a smaller biped. It had long black hair, a tropical shirt and blue jeans. "Who are you?" Discord asked impatiently. "I am king Alexander of Velrain." The creature said before getting to one knee and bowing. "And you?" Discord asked the smaller one. "You can just call me weird al." it replied meekly. "You’re not going to start causing chaos like 60s era Spiderman are you?" The taller creature got up and put his weapons back on his back. "We are stranger's here, we came here without purpose or option, we mean you no harm. Velrainian honor." "I don't think I can do anything other than scuff the lawn." "Well good. Now come along, girls you too. We need to get to the Gala to catch him." "I can be of assistance." Said the taller biped. "Why should we let you help!?" Rainbow yelled getting into its "face." It huffed and crossed its arms. "I didn't let my escape pod crash into your town, I saved you lives and I'm offering my services for free." "Fine, just let me teleport us there." Discord sighed. In a second they all were at the Gala ball room. "Alright you three go and hide." Discord said pointing at Alexander, Rex and Weird Al. Alexander looked at Rex before they both just vanished while Al just ran backstage. Before long Celestia and Luna along with hundreds of other guest came walking in. Celestia and Luna walked up to Discord and the Elements with worried frown on their faces. "Discord what happened?" Celestia whispered. "Two more human's I think. One’s harmless the other's a king and he's offering to help with our little bug problem." "A king? And he's helping? Why this is the best news I have yet to hear in centuries other than Luna coming back you getting encased in stone and you doing a history lesson." "Two actually. Now I’ll just get things started." Discord teleported up to the stage pulling out a microphone. "Hello ladies and gentlemen! It is my pleasure to have you all here, unfortunately Blueblood will not be attending due to... unforeseen circumstances." The entire crowd cheered, especially Luna and Rarity. "Now then, I was hoping to start us off with a little poem I have written for my beloved." A piano appeared next to Discord as a spotlight shined on him casting out his shadow and unseen to everyone else a horned one that moved away. He began to play a few deep keys before moving to the higher ones. "Princess Luna, Empress of the dark, fighter of the one's who lurk, protector of the ones who are in fright. Princess Luna, princess of the night, one of lunar light, bringer of stellar delight. The one of serenity and peace. Princess Luna, ruler of the late, silence and vaness. The one I love, Princess Luna, my beloved my sweet, will you give what I desire, or will you see me away. Princess Luna, I want to be yours because chaos and the night are just right. Princess Luna, ruler of the moon, soon will I put a ring on your hoof?" almost everyone was crying, Luna mainly smiling. “Discord,” Celestia started. “You have my blessing.” "Gay!" Called out a voice well known to Discord. Discord smiled and teleported the guests out of the room and put up a shield. "Welcome back, I was wondering when you'd get here. Now let's dance." "Hell no, there’s no black chicks!" "Well I do have someone for you to meet." A large figure started to form in front of Discord. "King Alexander, meet your target." He only cracked his knuckles before charging Spiderman making the entire room shake with each step. Spiderman jumped over him and used his webs to pull himself back trying to pull Alexander back. He landed on the floor with a thud before he realized Alexander was standing there. He picked Up Spiderman and started to smash him side to side. He let him go flying through tables and into the doors. Spiderman got back up and shot out a line of web, Alexander side stepped it and grabbed it pulling Spiderman over. He shot out another line of web and instead of grabbing it Alexander shot out a wall of flames. Spiderman tried on last time and got a direct hit on Alexander, he was pulling with all his strength until he realized he was pulling himself over. Alexander Ran forward and tried to hit him with his horns but he still avoided them. He charged again and sent his fist into the ground making the room shake and the windows break. "Fucker! You can't catch-" Spiderman was cut off as a large war-hammer connected with his head. "Now what?" Asked Alexander looking down at the limp body. "I don't know." "Well, I’m guessing you all don't have any apple juice here would you?" All the ponies, human And Draconequiss gave him the most confused looks imaginable.
Revelations.View OnlineLunar madnessRevelations.Discord was Pacing around the hospital waiting room. It has been four hours since Luna went into labor. The Element's and Celestia were there with worried expressions on their faces. Alexander and Rex had flown off the night after the re-capture of Spider man, leaving only the ship. A white mare with blood stained hooves came in smiling. Discord immediately went over to her. "Is she alright!? Is the kid alright!?" "Yes, and it's not just one. It’s two, a male Alicorn and a female Draconequiss you are." "Can I see them?" "Right this way." The nurse said before leading Discord through the doors. It was only a short walk, but it was excruciatingly painful for him. They finally found Luna's room; she was laying on the bed smiling with tears streaking down her face. And she was holding two newborns in her fore-hooves wrapped in blankets. "Look, it's your father." Luna whispered to the two young ones. "Their beautiful." He cried. "And their ours, I just wish we could have had the wedding before this." "Don't worry; I’ll put a ring on your horn yet. Now, about the names..." "I thought to keep the old ones we agreed on." "Good, now why don't we see what they look like?" She handed over the little Draconequiss first. He took her as if he was holding his own life. He unwrapped her, and saw she had a Ponies head, sparkling purple hair, a white lions claw, a set of black wings, a rattle snakes tail, two snaggle teeth, his antlers, a dragons claw on the other arm and his legs. He gently wrapped her back up and handed her over to her mother. She handed him the little Alicorn. He was orange with a normal white mane, and a blue horn. He gently handed him back and they both sat there overcome with joy. "You know, now we have to deal with them once they get to puberty and I’m not giving the birds and bees talk to them." "I know, but you will help teach her how to use her magic." "I know, but let's save that for part two of this little story." He said chuckling.
