Chapters Chapter 2: Welcome To Ponyville
I woke up, for a start.
"What a crazy dream". I said aloud.
I checked my watch for the time.
8:30 A.M
"Damn, too early, oh well".
I got up and decided on some toast. So I walked to the fridge, got the butter and cheese, got the bread from the bread box, inserted it in the toaster, made toast, made juice, drank and ate. Pretty good routine.
I went upstairs after breakfast, and got in the shower, after shower, dressed, after dressed, brush teeth, then I looked at myself, I looked presentable.
I was 6'4.
I wore a black hat, with a picture of "Animal" on the top. Under the picture, in big black letters said: "Animal".
Under my hat, I had short, flat, brown hair. No more, No less.
Behind my glasses, I had dark blue eyes, again, no more, no less.
I had a red sweater, with white strings, and a white zipper. Under that was my Brony shirt, a white t-shirt with Rainbow dash on the front, with the look she had, on the episode "May the best pet win". She had a blackish-grayish hat on, she was standing on her hind legs, while her front legs were crossed in front of her. And of course, she had a pair of black sunglasses on. Above her, big rainbow letters spelled out, "Proud To Be A". While under her, bigger letters spelled out, "BRONY".
I had on blue jeans, no more, no less.
In my front jeans pocket, was my iPod, and a cord plugged into the iPod which led to a pair of black "Sony" brand headphones, around my neck.
All in all, I guess I looked good.
Heading back downstairs, I unlocked my iPod, and since I lived in my house for years, I didn't need to look up while putting on my song that I want.
I went outside still deciding on what song I want, I looked up and was about to press play, but what I saw almost made me drop my iPod.
I saw
I saw
I saw, wilderness.
A big open field.
I did what any brave and normal person would do.
I ran back inside. Freaking out.
"Ohmygod, Ohmygod, Ohmygod, where am I, how did I get here, how do I get ba-
I cut myself off.
I remembered what happened last night. The Elements, the colors.
"No wonder why Canada basically stopped shining, I'm not in Canada. I must be in . . ."
"EQUESTRIA!!!!!" I shouted.
I was worried about all my friends and family, and missed them.
But I was pretty freakin happy.
" I get to meet the "Mane Six", Spike, Princess Celestia, and Best pony Princess Luna, Derpy hooves, the characters I will meet will be near ENDLESS!!!" I shouted.
I ran back outside and ran across the field.
It then dawned on me that, 1., I don't know where I am, 2., having a running, screaming, weird, alien thing come into town, would scare the shit out of everyon-, pony, got to get used to the term Everypony, and 3., Who knows what episode I was on, I guess I would find out what episode I was on".
The more I ran, the more I saw a town, and the closer I got, the more clearer the words on the sign ahead read.
The sign read in big bold letters:
"Welcome To Ponyville".
I was now in Ponyville, hiding, of course. Didn't want to cause such a panic.
Objective #1: Find out what episode I'm on. (If I'm even on an episode).
"Now that I have an objective, lets complete it, probably one of the most important objectives". I thought to myself.
So, I snuck threw Town like a bad-ass ninja, looking for clues of what episode I may be on.
After a half hour searching for clues, and being a ninja, I found nothing, and I was jumping from building to building too, so I had a good vantage point of seeing hints.
I was about to give up, when I heard a big gasp.
Thinking I just been seen, I hid behind apart of the building I was on. But I was wrong, they didn't see me. I looked, and saw a puff of smoke where the Mare was, the puff of smoke was the outline of 1 of the characters from the show, It was an outline of, Pinkie Pie. And right next to the puff of smoke was a certain, confused, lavender unicorn, with a purple mane, and a pink highlight in her mane, and her purple and green, reptile assistant. It was, Twilight Sparkle, and Spike the baby dragon.
"So I'm on episode 1, huh, well lets go down and make an introduction". I said to myself, before jumping off the building, doing a roll when I land, and turning around to a more shocked, Twilight and Spike.
"Yo". I simply said.
Of course I got the reaction that I was expecting. They both screamed, and hid behind a nearby hay bail.
"Yep, that's what I expected". I said to them.
"What is that thing Twilight?" Spike whispered, loud enough for me to hear.
"I don't know Spike, he isn't in any of the books I read." She whispered back to him.
"You know I can hear you, with my HUMAN ears."
"Y-you can talk." She asked me.
"Yes, somehow I speak equestrian, even though I'm not from here." I replied.
"So, judging by how you said HUMAN ears, your species are known as, Human?" She questioned.
"Right on the nose" I said, poking her nose, she recoiled at first, but she realized I was just poking her.
"So where did you come from?" She asked.
"Well Twilight, my name is Dylan Hunt, or Dill, whatever you prefer, I come from a planet called Earth."
She jumped when I said her name. "How do you know my name?"
"I will explain later, right now, I need to talk to Celestia, about how I got here."
"Well, she is busy right now, so I guess you will have to follow me around town until she is available." She said, being cautious not to sound rude, so I don't "Destroy" her, or there planet.
"Ok, by the way, the pink Mare you just met was Pinkie Pie, she gasped and ran away, because your new in Town, she is planning on throwing you a "Welcome To PonyVille", Party.
"Great, because I LOVE parties." She said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Not much of a party person myself, but Pinkie's parties are suppose to be the best parties ever."
"Alright, so you don't seem to be such a bad dude, I'm Spi-"
I cut him off. "Your Spike, Twilight Sparkles #1 assistant, and you really, along with Celestia and me, want Twilight to make friends, instead of staying inside all day."
His jaw dropped once I said his name was Spike. "Ha, here that Twilight, even a creature from another planet says you need to go outside more often, no offence for calling you a creature, Dill."
"No problem Spike, If I didn't know you myself, I would call you a freaky alien too."
"Alright, we are behind schedule, we need to check up o-." I cut her off again.
"You need to check on food preparations, I know, lets go to Sweet Apple Acres."
"Ok, that's just freaky, predicting the future." She said.
"No prediction, I know what will happen, but I won't spoil too much" I replied.
"Alright, but you can't guess what we will do aft-."
"We will check on the weather next." I said, cutting her off.
"Alright, enough of that, we are behind schedule, lets head off."
Chapter 4: Meet The Main Six
10 minutes later, we arrived at Sweet Apple Acres.
"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle."
"Hello Twilight, my name is Apple Jack, glad to meet you." The orange cowpony, Apple Jack, said, shaking Twilight's hoof really hard, so even when Apple Jack stopped shaking her hoof, Twilight's hoof was still shaking.
"Alright Apple Jack, before we start, I'm going to introduce you to a creature from another planet, Dylan!" She called to me.
I walked from behind behind a tree. "Yo, whatup." I said casually.
"Mah, aren't you a strange critter, where did yah come from?" She asked
"I'm a human, and I come from a planet called Earth."
She went to shake my hand for a good handshake, but I met her hoof most of the way and shook more powerfully then she did with Twilight.
"Wow, you are a strong critter too." She said, her hoof still shaking, but being a tough Mare as herself, her voice didn't vibrate when she talked.
"Well I work out from time to time, enough about me, me and Twilight Sparkle are here to check out the food situation." I said
"Well why didn't you say so." She went up to a triangle, and rang it, while yelling "SOUPS ON!!!".
In 10 seconds flat, we were at a table near the barn, wisked away by the apple family.
After 5 minutes of Twilight's mouth being stuffed with apple related food, she spit out the rest of the food that was left in her mouth, saying we were behind schedule.
"Aren't ya gonna stay fur brunch." AppleJacks little sister, AppleBloom, said with Puppy Dog eyes.
"Sorry, but we're behind schedule." Twilight said, which caused all of the apple family and me to awe.
Me being the hungry man I am, wanted to stay, so I put on my best Puppy Dog face I could do, which caused Twilight to let out an "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".
So we eventually got to stay.
A half hour later, Twilight's belly wasn't as big as it was in the show, and she wasn't groaning, because like I said, I was hungry, So I ate most of the food, which made Twilight happy she didn't get stomach sick.
"Alright, next is weather patrol." I said.
All of a sudden I hear a loud shout from somepony, (Nailed the word).
"LOOK OUT BELOW." I heard, I new who it was, but she was going to fast for my liking, I couldn't move out of the way quick enough, so I braised for impact . . . Which never came.
I looked up and saw Rainbow still flying toward me, but she was, for once in her life . . . Slow. She was at least 10 feet away from me.
"Thanks Twilight, that would of hurt if she crashed into me." I waited for a reply, but there was none. Not a sound, I looked over at Twilight, and saw here slowly moving her head in all directions, like she was still looking for the pony who shouted that.
"Am I in slow motion." I asked myself. I looked at Rainbow Dash, then at Twilight, then at me, to see if I could find a glow from a horn, but there was none.
"Did I gain slow motion ability?" I asked myself. Maybe it only works if I'm about to get hurt.
So I tested my theory, I moved.
Sure enough, time went back to normal.
Rainbow crashed into Twilight, and the scene plays out, until she clears the clouds out of the sky.
Shes laughing at the looks on there faces from seeing how fast she could get rid of the clouds.
"You should see the looks on your fac-.
She was cut off when she backed into me, though it was a light bump, so no falling, no hurting my pride this time.
She turned to face me, about to say something like, 'Watch where your walking'.
But when she saw me, the look on her face was priceless.
"AH, MONSTER." She shouted, before hiding behind Twilight.
I imitated her "Hahahahahaha, You should see the look on your face, PRICELESS!" I exclaimed.
Twilight and Spike fell down laughing, while Dash looked annoyed.
"Well if you think that's funny, get a load of this . . . whats your name?" She asked.
"I'm Dylan, I'm a Human, and I come from the planet, Earth." I explained.
"Ok, anyway, get a load of this." She exclaimed, flying off 4 yards away (12 feet).
Then she zoomed toward me lightning fast.
I just stood there, acting I like I didn't care.
11 Feet
"So hows your day been Twilight?" I asked casually, while she and Spike looked worried about me.
10 Feet
And of course, Slow motion time.
She was zooming 1 inch per minute.
I just walked off. Time went normal and she went into the ground.
"Ugh, How did you dodge me so fast?" She asked really confused.
"Your guess is as good as mind, but as Sonic the hedgehog, fastest thing alive would say." I said this next part running in place.
"YOUR TOO SLOOOOOW!"
This got her pissed, she went to buck, but slow mode happened and I dodged with no problem.
"Whats wrong, losing speed Dashie?" I asked with a smug smile.
She was now full caps rage
"I'M NEVER GONNA LOSE SPEED!!!" She yelled.
She threw the hoof equivalent of punches at me, but dodged.
"Like A Boss!" I exclaimed.
She had flames coming out of her nose instead of the cartoonish steam.
The more I dodged, the more angry she got, the more angry she got, the more tired she got, until finally, she fell on the ground, flat on her stomach, picking up a white flag out of nowhere and started to wave it.
"No more, for once something is actually faster then me."
"Don't worry, you still got the title of 'Fastest pegasus in Equestria'. I said smiling, which she returned.
"But I'll get faster, so watch your back." She gave me glare, which said I mean it, but in a friendly way as well.
After that, she took off.
"Uh, what just happened?" Asked Twilight, still shocked I just beat the fastest Pegasus in all of Equestria
"Simple, me and Rainbow went from hating each other, to being friends."
"Ok, onward to Rarity's."
Chapter 5: Meet The Main Six Part 2
After a nice walk, we made it to Rarity's.
She had one of the reactions to me I expected.
"AHHHHH, get out of here you ruffian, go on shoo!" She yelled, throwing all things she could throw at me, pots, shoes, etc.
I wanted to tell her to stop, but the dodges I made were amazing . . . ok, they maybe in slow motion, but whateve's Gee.
"Rarity, calm down, hes harmless, aren't ya Dylan?" She asked me.
"Yes, my dear Rarity." I said, speaking like a Gentleman. "I'm sorry if I have caused you any fright, but maybe when ever there is a strange creature near you, don't automatically assume its a threat, I mean look at Spike, hes a baby dragon, and your not throwing stuff at him." I said, before pushing Spike back to his original spot, as he was literally floating over to his new crush.
"I suppose I was acting a little silly, sorry for any misunderstandings, friends?" She asked, holding her hoof out for a shake.
But I took the more gentlemanly approach, picked up her hoof and kissed "Oui" I said in a french accent, which caused Rarity to blush a little, while Spike growls a little.
"Such a GentleColt." She said, Dazed a little.
Usually by now you would probably hear her scream from seeing Twilight's Mane, but since I was in Twilight's spot and I didn't fall into the mud, everything was fine.
"Alright guys, lets move on to our next obj- I cut Twilight off.
"We are going to got met Fluttershy now for the music, and yes, her name is true, she is reaaaaaaally shy, just by seeing me, she will probably wet herself or faint, or both." I said
"Alright that's it, next time we see the princess, you are telling me how you know all these things!" She yelled.
"Alright fine, Now onward's!" I exclaimed.
So in 5 minutes we saw the shy Mare herself, having the birds sing was beautiful.
"Alright Dill, stay here while me and Spike go talk to Fluttershy." She said, getting into using my nickname I guess.
"Actually Twilight, I was gonna have a talk with Dill here." He said really acting friendly, but once Twilight walked toward Fluttershy, Spike gave me a stern look.
"What was that about?" Spike asked me, annoyed.
"What was what about?" I asked playing dumb, even though I new what this was about.
"That thing you pulled over at Rarity's, she went from hating you to being friends, and to top it off, you kissed her hoof, she was like putty in your hands!" I exclaimed in a serious tone, making sure he was quiet.
"Well maybe I wanted to act like a Gentleman or Colt, whatever you prefer, I have no feelings for your crush." I said to calm him.
"Good because, if you di- WAIT, how did you know I have a crush on her?" He asked worried I might tell her.
"Well 1., you were making it obvious, from the hearts in your eyes, to the FLOATING over to her, 2., if you didn't, then we wouldn't be having this conversation, 3., I won't tell her."
"Oh, ok, dude can you help me hide my feelings from her?" He asked, his mood changing from Mad to desperate.
"Sure, maybe later"
"Ok Fluttershy, don't freak out, but I'm about to show you something, that's not from this planet, his name is Dylan, his species is Human, and hes from a planet called earth."
"Here we go." I said, walking out of the bush, and right next to Twilight.
Fluttershy did something that I expected.
Fainted.
"Great, she did what I knew what would happen, anyone without my future knowledge would gue- "SNIFF", do you smell that?" I asked Twilight.
"SNIFF", it smells like . . . yuck, Urine!" She said, grossed out.
"Wow, she did both, Come on, lets revive her, my future knowledge says that her shyness will go away once she finds out about spike and his talking ability."
"Alright."
Chapter 6: Nightmare Moons Return
"Ugh, what happened?" Asked Fluttershy, confused.
"You had to much to drink . . . Ha, just kidding, you past out when you saw me." I said, she giggled a little at my first response.
"Sorry for passing out on you, as you can tell by my name, I'm very shy." She said, embarrassed that she fainted and urinated.
"Don't worry you were cute when you were asleep, wasn't she Twilight and Spike?" I asked, which they responded with a head nod.
Fluttershy blushed for being called cute.
"Thank you." She said.
"No prob Bob, now Fluttershy, I'm going to introduce someone, a creature who can also talk, Spike." I said pointing toward Spike.
"Hi" He said, which she responded the same way she did in the show. So I'm not going into detail about this, Fluttershy follows us to Twilight's library, asking Spike questions, Fluttershy goes into the tree library for 4 seconds, before getting pushed out by Twilight, saying Spike needs his rest.
And we went inside to something I already new was going on
"SURPRISE!!!" Said everypony in PonyVille.
Twilight wasn't surprised because I already told her along the way back.
What she was surprised by was Pinkie zooming up to her, in the blink of an eye asking if she got surprised.
"Honestly no I'm not surprised, because my friend Dylan here told me." Twilight replied annoyed.
"Yo whatup." I said casually to everypony, which they waved back casually.
"Pinkie must of new about me when I was on top of the buildings, well at least I'm known here." I said.
"Twilight, I'm tired, is there a extra bed here?" I asked, not in the party mood.
"No, so I guess . . . You will have to sleep with me." She blushed a little.
"Please let this story not be a clopfic." I said to myself, Twilight couldn't here me though with the music and cheering.
"Yeah, that would be awkward." Pinkie said.
"I know, imagine, A human and a Pony." I said
"Yeah, gross." She said, implying it with a barf noise.
So I went to bed with Twilight, If you know what I mean, Just kidding, nothing like that, do you see a 'Sex' Tag here?
Anyway, she tried to get some sleep, when I was out like a light, but Spike had to ruin it by telling us not to sleep, for it was now time for the Summer Sun Celebration (SSC I'll call it.).
After a good, short walk, we made it.
"Without further a do, Princess Celestia!" The Mayor said, but of course, Celestia wasn't there.
All of a sudden, purple smoke started to rise up, forming into
"Oh no, Nightmare Moon." Spike then fainted.
"Oh my beloved subjects -" I cut her off.
"Yo whatup." I said, not fazed by her.
"Who and what are you?" She asked. Even though she was high and mighty, anyone with deaf ears could hear a tiny pitch of nervousness, probably thinking I'm more powerful then her.
"My names Dill, and My species is human." I said
She cleared her throat of nervousness. "So, I see that I'm not the only strange one hear am I?" She asked, That got me just a liiiiiitle mad.
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me, Think again, fucker." I said, trying to remember how it went, but I think I should stop right there.
She was now reallllllly nervous.
"I - I'll-I, GUARDS!" she shouted. All of a sudden, all of the Royal guards had purple eyes, they were hypnotized.
"Come at me Bro!" I exclaimed.
The guards withdrew there swords and charged me.
"See ya later." I said, before slow motion kicked in.
I jumped over them all, they went straight into the wall. There hypnosis faded.
"How can someone move so fast?!" She yelled, shaking a little.
"How should I know, its your fault I'm here!" I yelled, charging toward her.
She shot 3 balls of energy at me, which I dodged easily with slow motion.
1 thing I learned with slow motion, is that for some reason, you can jump higher, so when the 3rd energy ball came toward me, I jumped over it with slow motion.
Right when I made it to the balcony, slow motion stopped, but it didn't matter.
She was so shocked that she didn't move. So I gave her 1 hard punch to the face.
She was now bleeding.
She went to shoot lightning at me, but she wasn't quick enough, I kicked her right in the face.
She had a blacker eye.
"H-H-How?"
"I am AWESOME!" I exclaimed, giving her another kick to the face, harder.
She couldn't take no more, I could tell, she disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Everypony was staring at me.
"Whateve's Gee." I said, walking back toward the library for the Elements of Harmony book.
Chapter 7: Playing the Elements
By the time I found the book in the 'E' section, the door opened.
"Yo, whatup." I said casually, like none of that stuff back there happened.
"What the hay was that all about, Dill?" Asked AppleJack.
"That. Was. Awesome. What you did back there was amazing, you were all like, pow, then bam, then 'Heck ya, I'm Awesome', then wazow!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, impressed at what I did, though a certain cream colored pegasus wasn't.
"Ah must say, ah knew you was strong, but not strong enough ta make somepony bleed." Applejack said, impressed of my strength.
"Who was that back there anyway?" Rarity asked.
"Nightmare Moon, legend says she would come back this very day, and bring eternal night." Twilight answered.
"Oh ya, how do you know so much about this 'Nightmare Moon', are you a spy?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"Ha, 'Spahs sappin mah Sentry." I said to Rainbow Dash.
"What?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"Twilight is not a spy, she's just, how would YOU put it, an egghead who is very smart, and reads old pony legends." I said.
"Alright, so where is that Elements book?" Twilight asked. Making a mess with the books.
"Twilight, 2 things, 1., I have it right here, and 2., Spike is going to hate you so much because of this mess." I said. Twilight smiled sheepishly.
"Oops, my bad." She said.
"Legend has it, there are 6 Elements, Kindness, Loyalty, Honesty, Laughter, Generosity. The 6th one is unknown."
" "FAKE COUGH" Magic "FAKE COUGH." I said.
"That's one nasty cough, do you need some medicine?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, just come of brunch stuck in my throat." I lied.
"Ah know how you feel partner." Applejack replied.
"Alright Dill, where are the Elements?" Twilight asked.
"In the . . .
"EVERFREE FOREST!!!" Everypony shouted except for me.
"To adventure!" I shouted, charging in.
10 MINUTES LATER . . .
"This place isn't natural." Applejack said.
"Why do they say that?" I asked, acting dumb.
"Nopony knoooooows." Rainbow Dash said hauntingly.
"Maybe its because, whoever comes in, Never. Comes. OUT!" She shouted the last bit.
"BOO!" I shouted right into her ear, making her jump, smacking her head on a branch, landing with a thump, causing the cliff to give out on us.
Me, being the idiot I was, forgot about this part, and went down with everypony, except for Flutters and Rainbow.
Luckily for us, Pinkie and Rarity got caught by Rainbow and Flutters, and I went down in slow motion.
"You have to let go!" I heard Applejack say, 'Honesty' I thought.
Eventually, Twilight let go, Rainbow and Flutters caught her, but being, apparently, heavier then Rarity and Pinkie combined, they let her drop, this time, they didn't catch, by the looks on there faces, I say they were tired. Twilight must of got fat.
"I gotcha!" I shouted. She landed in my arms. Rainbow and Shy must be weak, Twilight is as light as a feather.
"Thanks." She said shakily.
"No prob Bob, now onward's!" I shouted.
We all heard a roar from a distance.
"Oh no, Its my mo-, I mean, a Manticore!" I shouted.
Dash giggled at my remark I made at my mom.
Everyone was about to charge, but I shouted "WAIT!"
Everyone stopped
"Shy, if you would be so, KIND." I said.
She went toward the Manticore, pulled out the thorn, the Manticore roared, everypony, but me and Shy gasped, by everypony was relieved that the Manticore was just licking Shy.
We all walked on ahead, except for me, who just went up to the thorn.
"Beeyotch!" I shouted, but now loud enough for the others to hear me. And kicked the thorn, which in return, I heard a "YEEOUCH!" and the thorn turned to purple smoke, and flew off.
So we went on our way, we saw those trees, of course everypony freaked out, except for me and Pinkie pie, In fact she was, LAUGHING, at one, making funny faces, while I made conversation with one.
"So then I was like 'Oat meal, are you crazy'!" Me and Pinkie laughed at my joke, in fact, if you got close enough to the tree we just told the joke to, you can hear a faint snickering.
Soon everyone was laughing, without the song, YES, I didn't really like that song.
So next came the river, of course, it was rushing.
We heard crying.
"I see where this is going." I said.
"What do you mean?" Asked Twilight.
"You'll see." I just simply said.
We saw the serpent, if you guys know why hes crying, then too bad, I'll tell you why.
"A crime against fashion!" I exclaimed, pointing towards his chopped off moustache.
"I simply cannot allow it!" Rarity Exclaimed back.
"Here is some scissors." I said, pulling out scissors from a bush.
"Where did you get those?" Asked Twilight.
"Oh please Twilight, Everypony knows that Pinkie always has emergency items lying around, even in the Everfree forest." I said, which Pinkie nodded.
Rarity cut off her tail and put it on his trimmed moustache.
"So GENEROUS of you Rarity." I said, she smiled.
"Sorry about your tail, Rarity." Twilight said.
"Its quite alright, short tails are in this season, plus it will grow back." She answered.
"So would the moustache." Whispered Dash to Twilight.
After more adventuring, we came across a dropped bridge, which Dash offered to fix, she flew over, to everypony except me, she was talking to herself. She flew back after.
"Shadow Bolts?" I asked casually.
"Shadow Bolts." She responded.
"How Loyal of you to choose us instead of the Shadow Bolts." I said
So after a long walking, boring because I never got any action, like killing something, or fighting something, my wish was granted when something leaped out of the bushes.
"Another Human?" Twilight asked.
"Yes but no." I responded
He was my height, black pants, white hoodie with blood on it, Pale skin, knife in hand, cut in smile. Jeff the Killer.
"Seriously, Jeff the freakin Killer, is that the best you got?" I asked.
"Am I not amusing enough for you?" Jeff asked, in MrCreepyPasta's voice.
"Woah, you have MrCreepyPasta's Voice, this is interesting now!" I exclaimed.
"Glad you find it interesting, now, choose your weapon!" He shouted.
I heard movement behind me, I looked, and saw the Main six following me, but was stopped by a Dark purple force-field, with tiny stars in it.
There was a selection of weapons, crowbar, ax, knife, Machete.
"Knife." I said plainly, I can hear groaning coming from Dash, more than likely because of what I chose for a weapon.
"Lets fight!" He shouted, black aura formed around me.
"What is this?" I asked.
"Nightmare Moon gave me enough power to stop your Slow motion." He said with a bigger smile.
"Well anyway lets begin!" I shouted.
DYLAN VS JEFF, JEFF MACHETE, DYLAN, KNIFE.
Music for fight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OZs7IoWTvc
Jeff ran quick, picked me up by the neck and tossed me into a tree, the impact hurt, but not too much. I got up and slammed my knife into his neck, while he was dazed a little, with the strength that I used on Nightmare Moon, I punched him in the face 3 times. The girls were cheering me on. But the cheers turned into gasps as Jeff took his Machete and slung it into my stomach, it hurt, but I wasn't giving up. I pulled out the Machete and taunted "I gotten worse dog bites then that." Jeff took the knife out of his neck, and swung, but I dodged the swing, and kicked him into the tree he launched me in. I turned him around, stuck the machete into the tree for a second, with both hands, punched the side of his neck that I stabbed him in,
he dropped the knife,then I tossed him 5 feet in front of me, not far, but hes not a pillow. I picked up his knife and took out the machete from the tree and walked toward him. Jeff jumped to his feet, I swung the knife at him put he ducked, I slashed my machete at him, but he stopped it by the side with his arm, while he was distracted, I stabbed the his neck again, this time further back so he would try to reach it, while trying to reach it, Jeff put his back toward me. Big Mistake. I slashed my Machete on his back, he went to his knees, I slashed again, he was trying to do a push up to get up, I slashed 3 more times, then I took the knife out of his neck, and stabbed his back 5 times, before slashing again with the machete, this time he pushed me back, making me drop the machete. I went up to him and stabbed the back of his neck, but this time, he didn't fall for it. He took my left arm, and snapped it out of its socket, he then used all of his strength to push me to my knees, me pushing up, him pushing down, equals snapping legs a bit, my legs. He took his machete and swung, but before he could make the hit, with all my strength, I punched the side of his knee, making a snap sound. I got up slowly, and snapped my hand back in its socket. I moved it around a bit to make sure I could move it properly, Surprisingly, my arm didn't hurt then.
I took Jeff's machete, and with one hard swing, cut of his head.
Dylan Wins
Everypony was now shocked at what I could do in a fight. "Alright then." Acting like nothing happened, "Lets go!"
Chapter 9: A Party For Luna
I woke up on Twilight's couch, feeling full of energy. Not, power energy, but, Sugar energy.
I jumped off Twilight's couch, making Everypony in the room jump back.
Celestia, Luna, Main Six, Spike, Everypony in PonyVille.
"Yo, WhatUp." I said casually, acting like nothing happened at all.
"SERIOUSLY, you just wake up from having a super AWESOME form, and all you can say is 'Yo, WhatUp?!" Dash asked.
"So?" I asked.
"Nothing ever fazes you, does it?" Celestia asked.
"Please, this is a normal night for me." I said, Everyponies jaw dropped.
"What IS a weird day for you?" Twilight asked.
"When Narwhals don't bacon at midnight." I said.(You happy Blazing Shadow.)
"What?" She asked.
"What?, anyway, Pinkie, isn't it time to celebrate Princess Luna's return?" I asked her.
"Oh yeah, that's right, how could I be so silly, come on everypony, LETS PARTY!!!" She shouted.
And just like that, the party started, everypony danced, played games, the usual at a Pinkie Pie party.
I looked over at the corner of the room, and saw Princess Luna, shaking a bit, so I went over there to talk to her.
"Yo, WhatUp." I said.
"T-T-T-Thou art not afraid of us?" Asked Luna.
"Oh please, I saw the transformation take place, in fact, I'm the Element Guardien." I said, she smiled.
"So, thou art the one who saved us?" She asked me.
I smiled sheepishly. "I actually, kinda, sorta, a little, how do I put it, 'Beat the fudge', out of your evil form." I said.
"Don't worry, Nightmare Moon deserved to have, how dust thou put it 'The fudge beaten out of Them?'. She asked.
'Right on the nose." I said, poking her nose, she giggled.
"That tickles, so how art thou enjoying this party?" She asked.
"2 things, 1., I'm going to help you with the speech we use today, and 2., I'm enjoying it very well." I said.
"What dust thou mean by 'help us with the speech thou uses today?' She asked.
"I mean, THOU and Art, aren't common speech, and referring to yourself as US, isn't used today either." I said, She giggled sheepishly.
"Well we guess YOU are right, being trapped on the moon for 1000 years has not helped us with today's usual speech." She said.
"Well WE are willing to help THOU out with today's use of speech." I said, she giggled when I used old speech.
"Thank thou, for thy's offer, we will take it once we're used to things around here, thou should continue on with the party, Pinkie is setting up the snacks." She said, pointing toward the food tables.
"I'll bring some food to you." I said, walking over to the table, took 2 cupcake, and was about to take 2 pieces of cake, but the pieces of cake I was about to grab, disappeared from my grasp.
Pinkie was about to eat both in 1 bite, but I stopped her by saying. "No Pinkie, the cakes a lie." I said (You happy Blazing Shadow.)
She froze in her place, I waved my hand in front of her eyes, didn't even follow it with them.
I took the 2 plates from Pinkie and said. "Just kidding, the cakes the truth."
She blinked. "Okie, Dokie, Loki." She said walking over to get more cake.
I went back to Luna, she looked shocked.
"We can't believe it, after all the spells we used, thou just said ONE thing, and she stopped completely, what did thou even say!?" She shouted, but the music covered her shouting from everyponies ears except for his.
"I told her 'The Cakes A Lie." I answered, she face-hoofed.
"Whatever, We are hungry, being on the moon for 1000 years without food, certainly doesn't help." She said, snatching both cupcake and cake, and eating it with 1 bite, I just stared at her.
She blushed deeply. "Our apologies, usually we would use our table manners, but we were so hungry."
I chuckled, "For now on, whenever you say 'WE', I'm going to assume you are referring to you and your stomach." I said, she blushed deeper.
"Don't worry, you don't need table manners if your not at a table." I said, we both laughed.
So after an entire night of talking with Luna, the party cleaned out.
"Thank thou for a wonderful time, Elements, We enjoyed it a lot." Luna said, I chuckled.
"Well your stomachs happy that's for sure, those cupcakes are delicious, Good night Princesses." I said, too lazy to walk home, I went up in Twilight's room.
After 5 minutes, Twilight's room door opened, and she crawled in with me.
"Good night, Twi." I said, tiredly.
"Good night, Dill, tomorrow me and the princesses are going to ask you all about your world, and how you know all about us." She said.
Oh CRAP
Chapter 10: A Fake History Lesson
I awoke In a terrible Nightmare.
I went to the bathroom, and there was no toilet paper.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I shouted, before I woke up.
"Dill, whats wrong?" Twilight asked, worriedly, I shook my head.
"Nothing, just a Nightmare." I said.
"Alright, get ready, the carriage is supposed to be here soon." She said, I smiled.
"Time for some major trolling." I said quietly to myself, luckily, she didn't here me.
I went into the bathroom, and there was no toilet paper.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Once we landed in Canterlot, we went inside. Sitting on the big throne, was Celestia, and on the smaller one, was Luna.
"Hello Celestia and Best Pony Ever, Luna." I said bowing, Luna gave me a confused look.
"We are the best pony ever, why?" Luna asked. I chuckled.
"All in good time." I replied.
"Alright Twilight, write this down, ok Dill, tell us, how were you born?" She asked, I coughed for effect.
"Well. A very long time ago when my mother was young and sexy, so maybe like, the Ming Dynasty, my dad says to her, 'Hey Angel, your sexy', so he gives her his number, she calls, and well, I think you know what happened.He humped heeeeeer, like a doggy humps your leg, in the morning, he says, 'Bitch, cook me some eggs', while shes cooking, he runs away and says, 'Bye bye', but he didn't know, she poked a hole, in the condom , So that's how I was born." I said casually, they all blinked.
"Ok, next question,how do you know so much about us?" Celestia asked.
"Well, there was a robed warlock (Amber), it showed me his magical stick, it had a clear sphere on one of the tips of it, all of a sudden, blue fire appeared inside of the sphere, and showed me all the universes futures (T.V)." I said, they had there mouths wide opened.
"So that's how you know so much about us, so what will happen tomorrow?". Celestia asked.
"Were you going to give Twilight tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala, but give her 2, so that she will learn a friendship lesson, then in the end, give her 7 tickets, get me one, I might go too, just saying." I answered, Celestia jaw was on the floor.
"You DO know everything, what am I thinking about?" Twilight asked, I was about to answer, but I felt a strange headache coming on.
"Agh!" I growled.
"Dill, whats wrong?" Luna asked. (She was worried about me, yay.)
"Ugh, just a headache, its gone now." I replied.
"Alright, again, what am I thinking about?" Twilight asked.
I rubbed my temples, trying to act like I was trying to remember, when all of a sudden, I heard a voice inside my head, Twilight's voice.
"Alright Twilight, if he knows what I'm thinking about, don't think about that doll of Celestia I have hidden, just don't think about when you tuck it in at night, and give it a kiss, and talk about your day with it." Twilight thought, I busted out laughing.
"Whats so funny?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.
"Honestly, I didn't know what Twilight was thinking, I think that headache just gave me mind reading powers." I said, Celestia gasped.
"Alright, what was Twilight thinking about?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.
"She was thinking about a doll she had of you, she was thinking about, telling it about her day again, tucking it into bed, and giving it a good night kiss." I said, Twilight blushed, Celestia giggled, and Luna was crying with laughter, and within a matter of seconds, so was Celestia and I.
Twilight was on the verge of tears.
"Don't cry Twilight, besides, you did ask what you were thinking about." I said, wiping a tear away from both of our eyes.
"Alright, what are the princesses thinking about?" Twilight asked, with an evil grin, I chuckled.
"Ha, you can't read our minds, we have walls magiced up to block all types of mind reading magi- I cut Luna off by saying.
"Celestia has a poster of Discord in her room with a heart around it, and Luna has a poster of . . . ME in her room, at least there is no heart" I said, they both blushed deeply.
It was Twilight's turn to fall on the ground laughing.
"Celestia and Discord, siting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Me and her both sang.
"Well, uh, will you look at the time, I have to g-." She cut herself off by looking around my neck, she was charging her horn.
"Dill, don't panic, but there seems to be a thing around your neck." She said, I stopped her.
"Those are just my headphones for listening to music with." I replied.
"There's a tiny band in your pocket?" Twilight asked, I laughed.
"No, look." I said, pulling out my iPod, they looked at it.
"What does this, iPod, do?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.
"Many things, but there is no interne-." I cut myself off when I saw a 4 bar connection called '. . .'
"Fantastic, magic is like Wi-fi, let me play a song from my iPod, I said, putting on this song
After the song, they had shocked expressions on there faces.
"What else can this iPod do?" Twilight said, about to snatch it with magic, I stopped her.
"Later, right now, we have questions to answer." I said.
So, after a long time, answering questions, I was pretty winded, finally, we said our good byes, but before we went.
"Luna, why do you have a poster of me in your room?" I asked.
"Well, YOU see, yes I have been practicing the latest speech, I have a poster of you in my room because, you were really the first friend I had." She said sadly, I smiled.
"Wow, I must be special." I said, she chuckled.
"Yes, to me, now off you go, don't want to keep you tired, Oh and Dill?" She asked.
"Yes?"
"Why am I the best pony?" She asked.
"Well, I like the night, I like the peacefulness and the tranquility, and, I sleep through the day." I replied, she had a tear running down her face, and gave me a hug.
"Thanks, Dill, that's the nicest thing somepony has ever said to us." She said, sniffling.
"Have a good night Luna." I said.
"You too." She replied.
So we took off into the night, and the last thing I heard before I fell asleep in the carriage was Luna shouting at her sister.
"HA, TAKE THAT SISTER, SOMEPONY WHO SLEEPS THROUGH THE DAY!!!"
"WHAT!?"
She sounded pissed.
Chapter 11: Applebuck Season
Read Authors note after, important.
I woke up laying on top of Twilight.
"Great, what a way to wake up, in a sex position." I said, Twilight yawned.
"Dill, why are you on top of me?" She asked.
"You tell me." I responded.
"Whatever get off of me, your not exactly a pillow." She said.
"Whateve's Gee, maybe instead of lifting books, lift some weights." I shot back, getting off of her.
So I decided to go for a walk, and I did some simple math, since the princess gave us the tickets yesterday, the day before, we went to the princesses about my knowledge of this place, and the day before that, was the SSC. That would mean, each episode will take place every two days from now, so today's episode must be about . . .
"Applebuck Season!" Exclaimed Applejack.
"Applebuck Season episode, great, stubborn Applejack is, stubborn." I whispered to myself.
"Yep, with Big Mac injured, Its just me buckin' these trees." She said.
"Can I help?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Heck no!, Big Mac questioned mah ability of applebuckin', so I'm going to prove to him that I can do it myself." She replied.
"That's what I figured." I said, sneeking up behind her with rope, and jumped.
We wrestled a bit, but my muscles and Slow motion helped subdue her.
"HEY!, untah me so ah can beat the apple sauce out of ya!" She shouted.
"Sorry, but I know the future, you don't, now if you EXCUSE me, I got some apple trees to "buck." I put that in quotes because, I'm not bucking, I'm going to see if I can unlock anymore abilities.
So, I found a old, big doll of Pinkie in there dumpster. Applejack laughed sheepishly.
"Don't tell Pinkie I threw it away, it was my birthday present." She said.
"Lips are sealed." I said, doing the 'zip lip' motion.
So I thought of making a way of blowing away the Pinkie doll with a power.
Thinking that, made my hands ache.
"Alright, aweso-, OWWWW." I cried out in pain.
"You alright?" Applejack asked.
"I'm ok, just unlocked a new power." I said casually.
"Wh-." I cut her off.
My hands were glowing a light blue, I drew back my hands to make a big clap, and
BOOM
A thunder like sound echoed,as a blue blast came out of my hands in all directions, sending the Pinkie doll sailing into the air for miles.
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT!!!" Shouted Applejack, scared a little.
"Just thought of it." I said.
I went into the barn, and brought out enough baskets to cover all of the field.
"Now, I need a fast way to do this, but how?" I asked myself.
"How about you use your fancy shmancy powers." She said, still annoyed that I tied her up.
"Thanks for the idea, OWWWW." I called out, as a pain went through my heels.
After the pain subdued, I clicked my heels together three times.
Sure enough, my feet were glowing a light blue.
"Now, as Sonic would say "Don't Blink." I said, running off, at a speed faster then Mach 4, but slower then Mach 5.
In TWO seconds flat, the entire field was covered in baskets
"Ah blinked, what ah miss?" Applejack asked.
"I just went 4 and a half times the speed of sound and placed baskets all over the acre, now." I said, bring my hands together for a super clap (As I'll call it.)
And all of the apples fell into all the baskets.
I then untied Applejack, she went for a big buck, but I dodged.
"You'll thank me later." I said, running at a speed Rainbow would call SLOW, but to Applejack, I could run around PonyVille twice in 10 SECONDS FLAT.
For the last half hour, I've been practicing to control my slow motion, so now it only activates when I either want it to so there has to be no threat, or when there's a threat coming from behind me.
I walked up to Rainbow, who was setting up the catapult.
"Hey Rainbow, I've learned to control my slow motion, so now it only activates when either there is a threat behind me, or when I want it to." I said.
"Oh really?" She asked, throwing a punch at me, but remember those cat like reflexes I had the first chapter, those came in handy, I grabbed her hoof half punch, and flipped her over my shoulder.
"Rainbow, just because I don't have slow mode to help me, doesn't me I don't have cat like reflexes, now, instead of this catapult, let me show you another power I learned, get ready to fly." I said, she got up and spread her wings.
"1, 2, 3, GO!" I shouted, super clapping, sending her all the way to the other side of town.
After 2 minutes, she came back.
"That. Was. Awesome!" She shouted.
"Any other powers you learned?" She asked, a gleam in her eye.
"SUPER SPEED!" I shouted, she squealed.
"How fast?" She asked.
"As fast as I want, plus, I can run for an hour, without breaking a sweat with it." I said.
"Lets race then, first one around PonyVille 10 times, Wins." She squealed.
"On go, 1,2,3." I counted, I clicked my heels together three times.
"GO!" We both shouted, we both zoomed off.
After a good race, I finished in 2 seconds, she finished in 10, she was panting, while I probably looked like I never even ran for 2 seconds.
"Wow, your fast!" She exclaimed.
"Ya I am, now, I'm going to Pinkies to help her bake." I said, zooming off.
"BYE!" I heard being shouted at me.
After one second of running, I went into sugar cube corner.
"Hey Dill." I heard a realllllly depressed Pinkie, psycho Pinkie I call her.
"Depressed that Applejack didn't show up?" I asked.
"How'd you know?" She asked.
"She was stubborn, thinking she could buck all the apple trees, So I tied her up, did the work for her with my new found powers, Super speed, and super clap." I said, showing off my moves.
Her hair instantly Inflated.
"That's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool, can you help with the cupcakes?" She asked.
"That's the Pinkie I know and love." I said smiling, noogying her. "Sure, I'll help." I said.
So, after a half hour of adding different items in the mixing bowl, it was time for the oven, but there was a problem.
"Darn oven, always giving out." Pinkie said.
"Hey, don't say that, ovens have feelings too, now let me see what I can do." I said, she giggled at my comment about ovens.
I though of a way of heating up the cupcakes, then a pain shot threw my eyes.
"OWWWWWWWWW" I growled.
"Dylan, are you ok?" Pinkie asked, worried.
"I'm fine, I have a new power at least." I said.
I squinted a bit, and eventually, two red beams shot out of my eyes onto the cupcakes, Pinkie touched the cupcakes.
"Ouch, too hot, guess we have to wait." She said.
"Who needs to wait, when you have a power induced friend." I said, thinking of a way of cooling off the cupcakes.
Then a pain went into my throat.
I groaned a bit, but eventually, the pain went away.
I breathed a sigh of relief, being in pain so many times a day is quite tiring.
But when I ex-hailed, frosty breath came out, you know, the breath you get in the snow.
So, I took a big breath and ex-hailed. A big mass of frosty breath came out, making the steam coming off the cupcakes went away.
Pinkie touched the cupcakes.
"Perfect." She said
"Better be, I'm tired of being in pain." I said.
"I should go help Fluttershy with the bunny census now, bye." I said to Pinkie.
I arrived at the forest, to see Fluttershy rounding up the bunnies.
"Hi Fluttershy." I whispered, she turned and saw me.
"I'm glad you showed up, where do you think Applejack went." She asked.
"I don't know, she said something came up, so told me to do it." I lied.
"Ok, now can you help round up the bunnies?" She asked.
"Of course, I'll be gentle." I said.
After a half hour, we rounded up all the bunnies.
"Thank's, Dill." She said, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"No prob Bob, now, it was early when I went to Applejack's, so the cows haven't stampeded yet, but I say they are about to stampede in, 3,2,1." I counted, and of course I heard somepony shout.
"STAMPEDE!!!!!!!"
"You calm down the frightened bunnies, I'll stop the stampede." I said.
"Be careful." Flutteryshy said.
"I will." I said, zooming off at top speed.
I made it in two seconds.
"What's going on." Twilight asked, walking up to me.
"Stampede, I got this." I said, walking toward the stampede. I could feel everypony in town staring at me.
I thought of a way to calm down the stampede, then all of a sudden.
"OWWWWWWWWWWW!" I growled. Everypony gasped.
The same pain as before shot through my neck, like when I got frost breath. I coughed up some blood on my arm.
"Is that, blood?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah 'COUGH', I learned four abilities today, each one causing me great pain from where the power is, I got mind reading powers when we went to Canterlot, headache, A super powerful clap which will send stuff flying for miles, I got today, hand pain, super speed today, I hit my heels together three times, I can go any speed I want, pain in my heels, Heat vision today, I can squint my eyes for a bit before I shoot out two red beams of heat, pain in eyes, frosty breath today, I ex-hale deep enough, I can freeze stuff, pain in throat, now I got a new ability just then, pain in throat, cough up blood." I said all of this weakly.
"So, what's this new power?" Twilight asked.
"Lets see." I said.
The cows were 10 feet from town.
Then I let out a long "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" (STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP)
All of the cows stopped
"MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO" (Why are you charging our town?)
"MOO MOO MOO MOO' (One of our friends acted like a snake, which was a good snake impression)
I face palmed. "MOO, MOO MOO (Look, just leave)
"MOO" (OK)
"This new power allows me to speak with animals, like Fluttershy." I said weakly, doing different animal impressions.
"So, four powers a day is the limit?" Twilight asked.
"Yes, fours . . . the . . . Limlit." I said, falling on the ground.
The last thing I heard before passing out was everypony calling out my name to wake me up.
Chapter 12: The Trolling And The Punishment
I woke up in a white room, which looked like a hospital.
"Good your awake." Said a voice.
"Who said that?" I asked.
"Its me, Twilight." Said Twilight, now in my sight, along with the rest of the Main six, Spike, and the princesses.
"What happened?" I asked.
"You unlocked too many powers yesterday and past out." Celestia said
"Well, I should probably get up now." I said, about to stand up, when a orange hoof stopped me.
"Whoa there partner, yer still weak from what the doctor told us." Applejack said.
"O- OWWWWW!" I growled, pain going through my entire body.
"Are you ok?" Fluttershy asked, I chuckled.
"Yeah, but I got one thing to say." I said
"What?" Celestia asked.
"See ya." I said, using my new power to shrink down, and run with my super speed.
The last thing I heard before I ran out was. "Where'd he go?"
After a good 2 minutes of running, I stopped at my house.
"Time to change some clothes." I said, growing back into my original size.
I went up stairs, took off the hospital robe, put on my black shirt that said. "Keep Calm, And Be A BRONY." I put on a pair of black jeans, and a blue sweater. with white strings and zipper. To my surprise, I saw my iPod and headphones on my nightstand.
"Must of found where I originally live." I said, grabbing it, and heading outside.
Then I got an idea, a trolling idea. A smirk grew on my face, as I ran to Sweet apple acres, shrunk down, went under their house door, and went up to AJ's room, I grew back, put on the hat, shrunk, it shrunk with me, and I ran back to town.
"Best idea ever!" I exclaimed to myself.
I jumped on a random ponies back when I was small, they didn't even notice, then I grew back to my original size.
"GET ALONG LITTLE DOGGY, GET ALONG!!!" I shouted, as the pony ran around, trying to buck me off, I shrunk down when a crowed started, I heard whispers.
"What's wrong with that pony?"
"What's he doing?"
"Should we call for help?"
"MUFFIN!"
I ran off the pony's back, and he was still bucking.
Achievement Unlocked: Trolling Ponies
I snuck away further into town, where I found the Main Six, Spike, and the Princesses.
"Another trolling moment coming on." I thought of a way to hide from them, then a pain went through my body.
I covered my screams of agony from them, luckily, they didn't hear me.
I thought of being unseen, then my body turned invisible.
"Sweeeeeet." I exclaimed quietly to myself.
I made a transparent power too, it hurt, but that would be my last power of the day.
I made myself half invisible, half visible, and I went transparent.
I made ghost noises at them when I was invisible.
"Who's there?" Dash asked, getting in a fighting stance.
"I am the ghost of Dill, who died while running around the world to prove I was alright, but I died half way around." I said ghostly, making myself half visible and half invisible, and transparent.
"Stop fooling around Dill." Twilight said poking a hoof at me, but it went through me.
Everypony in the group gasped.
"No, its not true, my only friend did not die, this is just a Nightmare!" Luna exclaimed.
"Sorry Luna, but its true." I said, trying to cover up my snickers.
"D- Dilley's dead?" Pinkie asked.
"NO!, HAHAHAHA, I'm not going to die for a long time!" I exclaimed, going back into my form. Everypony was pissed.
"WHAT THE BUCK!!!" Everypony exclaimed.
"You should see the looks on your face- I was cut off as I backed into somepony.
"Pardon me." I said.
"Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmygosh, THE HUMAN!!!!" Lyra heartstrings shouted.
"Shit!!!!" I exclaimed, about to dash off, but a yellow aura stopped me.
"Oh no Dill, this is your punishment for doing your stupid little prank!" Celestia said with smirk.
"Well I can see now that once I'm going outta this situation, I'm going to kick your flabby truck of which you call a flank, lay off the sweets, it was just a prank!" I said angrily before turning back to Lyra, who just put a rag over my mouth, she was drugging me.
I cried for help, but they didn't listen. I stuck up my middle fingers at them. They gave me confused looks.
"It . . . means . . . Fuck . . . You!" I said, before passing out.
I woke up in a dark room.
"Fuck, I new Lyra was crazy!" I growled angrily.
"I'm not crazy, I just need to study you." She said.
"You could of asked me some questions!" I shouted angrily.
"Where's the fun in that." She said.
"Your mom was fun last night." I said with a snicker.
"My . . . Mom?" She asked.
"Yeah, me and her were up all last night." I said.
"My mother wouldn't do that, would she?" She asked.
"She would, she beat me five times at checkers, and three times at connect four." I said.
"Oh, that's what you meant about my mom." She said.
"What do you mean, what else would I me-, Ewww, your gross, noooooo, get your mind out of the gutter." I said.
"Anyway, lets examine you." She said, taking off my shirt.
After a half hour I was wearing nothing but my under wear.
"Lets see what's under here." She said, with lust in her voice.
"That's my queue to leave." I said becoming transparent, escaping my ropes, quickly picking up my clothes and ran so fast, I made it to my house in 1 second.
It was dark out, so I changed into my Pj's and fell asleep
Chapter 13: Griffon The Brush-Off
I woke up in my room.
"Note to self, stay away from Lyra." I said to myself.
I put on my clothes from yesterday, and went outside.
I then saw two blurs flying around.
"Great, Gilda is here." I said, making a flying power and flying after them, wasn't hard with super speed.
"Yo, whatup." I said to them.
"Gilda, this is Dill." Dash said.
"Your a weird guy aren't ya?" Gilda asked.
"Whateve's Gee." I said, before flying toward town.
I flew up to Pinkie.
"Hey Pinkie, I'm bored, I challenge you to a Pie Eating Contest!" I exclaimed.
"Ok!" She said, making 20 pies appear out of thin air.
"Loser has to bring Gilda on a date." I said with a smirk.
"Okie, Dokie, Loki!" She said.
"123Go." I said very fast, before we started eating.
We were evenly matched, but eventually, Pinkie won.
"Guess I'm the distraction so Gilda doesn't disrupt town." I said to myself.
I eventually found Gilda stealing apples from the carts.
Before she could take a bite, I stopped her.
"Gilda, I lost a bet to Pinkie, and the loser had to take you out on a date." I said, a little annoyed that I was the one to distract her.
"Really, why would I go on a date with a weirdo?" She asked.
"Because it was a bet, I lost, we're going on a date, end of story." I said firmly.
"Fine, let me go tell Rainbow about what I was dragged into." She said.
"Whateve's Gee." I said, before zooming off toward the library.
"You did what?" Twilight asked.
"Well like I said, I lost a bet with Pinkie, so I have to go on a date with Gilda." I said again.
"Do you have any experience with dating?" She asked.
"No, but really, the dates a distraction to stop her from disrupting town." I said.
"Ok, I'll get the girls, I'll cast a spell that allows us to hear everything you two say, and you will be able to hear us." She said.
"Alright, see you at the restaurant." I said after she cast the spell on me, and before I zoomed off.
After a half hour, we made it to the restaurant, the Main six went to a table behind Gilda's back, I was directly in front of her. She asked for a daffodil sandwich, I asked for the Hay fries.
"Everypony hear is a bunch of fancy dweebes." Gilda said, I chuckled, and put on a fake french accent.
"What would you like to order, a fresh out of the oven froo la la, or some of our best froo ha ha." I said, she giggled.
"Your not such a bad guy after all." She said, I smiled.
"Lets not get too sappy, I want to be able to hold down my lunch." I replied.
Once our food arrived, we dug in.
"This is good food." She said.
"A bit cold, but its good." I said.
We actually had a good conversation.
"And then I was like 'Oatmeal, are you crazy!" I said, finishing my joke, Gilda and the Main six laughed really hard.
"That was a good one Dill." Gilda said.
"Yeah, and that's how I lost my car." I said, she smiled.
"Wow Dill, your the funniest guy I've met, I just wish you didn't hang out with those Lame-o ponies." She said.
"Oh come on, their not that bad." I said.
"Oh come on Dill, you can't be serious, their Lame, they are always happy, I'm surprised there not gay." She said.
"Gilda, don't make fun of them." I said, a little angry,
"I can't believe your sticking up for them, there all losers, why must you hang out with them, a bunch of sissy ponies, if you ask me the-." I cut her off, I was furious.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU STUPID SPOILED BRAT, I WILL SHOVE THESE CHOPSTICKS UP YOUR ASS, YOU'LL BE COUGHING SPLINTERS!" I shouted.
"Whoa, dude, calm down." She said.
"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, I AM CALM, IF I WASN'T CALM, YOU'D BE DROWNING IN BLEACH RIGHT NOW, YOU SPOILED, FUCK!"
"Lady, Man, your to noisy, pay now and leave." The waiter said.
"AND WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!?"
"If you don't leave now, I'll call the guards." He said, sternly.
"PARENTS DIDN'T LOVE YOU ENOUGH?!" I shouted.
"Wha-" I cut him off.
"ALL THE KIDS GOT TO GO TO MANEHATTON, WHILE YOU WERE STUCK AT HOME SEWING UNDIES FOR YOUR GRANDPA!?"
"They were so saggy and big." He said, a tear running down his face.
"AND NOW YOUR SERVING THIS CRAPPY FOOD TO A MAN, WHO MAKES WHAT YOU MAKE IN TEN YEARS, IN TWO DAYS!"
"Oh chrisbrownjoke no!" He exclaimed.
"YOUR PARENTS SHOULD OF DROPPED YOU OFF THE BOAT THEY SAILED IN FROM!"
He started to cry, and ran away.
"Peace." I said to Gilda, who had her jaw dropped.
I went outside.
"Dill, I didn't know you could get so . . . angry." Rarity said.
"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you pick on my friends." I said, putting my arms around them all, walking away, into the sunset.
Chapter 14: Mating Season
I woke up in my home again.
"Good, I didn't wake up anywhere else like in other fanfiction's." I said, relieved.
I got dressed. I put on a pair of blue jeans with rips in them, an orange t-shirt, and my red sweater with white strings, thanks to Rarity for fixing it, and, I had a 5 a clock shadow at 9:00, AWESOME.
I went outside, and went to town.
Once I got to town, I noticed something.
Every mare in town was looking at me, with . . . Hearts in there eyes?
"Um . . . hello."
Every mare charged me.
"SHIT!" I shouted, flying away.
All the pegasus ponies were chasing me, while all the unicorns were trying to levitate me back. Fortunately for me, Celestia already used that spell on me once, and if you remember, once a spell is used on me once, it never works on me again, so I was safe.
I went into the clouds and turned invisible, they couldn't find me.
"Hes gone everypony." A pegasus said, making every mare groan in annoyance.
I zoomed over to Twilight's to see what was going on.
I busted open the door and locked it once I was inside.
"TWILIGHT, EVERY MARE IN TOWN IS CRAZY!" I shouted.
"How so?" Twilight asked.
"They all just . . . Charged me, chased me, what's going on?" I asked her.
"Mating season." She replied simply.
"How long does it last?" I practically begged the answer.
"One week." She replied.
"Can I stay here, so I won't get raped?" I asked, she smiled.
"Of course you can." She replied.
"Thank you, I'll be in your room, this week will be stressful, I'm glad your not a penis hungry, lusty mare." I said, she giggled.
"Of course I'm not, no one really mates with me, so I just gave up mating season all together." She replied.
"I'm sorry no one ever mates with you, you'll find the ONE someday." I said, before going up to her room.
"Hey Dill." Spike said.
"I'm glad I'm not the only male that's going through this, hey, why don't you go out and see if Rarity is effected by this mating season thing?" I asked.
"Are you kidding, if mares weren't right outside our door ready to tackle me and mate with me, I wouldn't even be here." He replied.
"I'm glad that I have super speed and flying powers, because I wouldn't be hear either." I said, we laughed.
"Well, Twilight's got a super powerful force field that covers up the library, no one can get in now, in fact, you JUST made it, she was about to put up the force field before you showed up." Spike said, I sighed.
"Then I'm REALLY glad that I have powers, I was afraid to go and hide at Pinkie's, if she is affected like this, I feel sorry for the poor sap that mates with HER." I said, we laughed again.
"What are you guys laughing about?" Twilight asked, walking in.
"We're just laughing at the fact tha-" I was cut off when there was a click on our bedroom door.
Twilight locked the door.
"Twi, what are you doing?" Spike asked.
"Shhhhhh, its ok, now Dill, drop your pants." Twilight said sternly.
"Nnnnnope." I said, grabbing Spike, making us go transparent, and run through the wall, and go outside.
The last thing we heard from Twilight before we ran was. "GRRRRRRRRRR!!!"
"Onward, to Applejack's barn." I said quietly, so we didn't alert every mare in town.
"Why there?" Spike asked.
"Well, I always thought of Applejack as an, how do I say it, lesbian." I said to Spike, he was gonna argue, but stopped and thought, then he nodded.
After a 2 minute walk, didn't want to alert the mares by going super speed, we finally got there.
"Hey, if Big Mac didn't get raped, maybe he can join our resistance." Spike said.
"Good idea, as long as we don't get raped ourselves, we should be good too." I answered.
We saw Applejack.
"Hi Applejack, we were wondering, can we hide in your barn from the horny mares that are after us?" I asked.
"Of course you can." She replied.
"Thanks AJ." Spike thanked her.
So we went in the barn.
"Sweet, we can totally hide here." Spike said.
"Yeah, hey look at this." I motioned over to what I found.
It was a green backpack, inside was a writing book, a completely black, hard covered book, with all pages blank, but in the back of the book was a diagram, the diagram was of a hidden base in the middle of the Everfree forest, right next to the diagram, was the entire map of the Everfree forest, and there was a black circle, written in marker, circling the destination of the base. The base was called. THE HIDDEN BASE.
I put the book in back in the backpack.
"Alright, we'll go there if Applejack is psycho bonkers crazy over mating sea-" I was cut off as a lasso tide me and Spike together.
"Now that your, Tide up at the moment, we'll start." Applejack said, complete lust in her voice.
"Nnnnnope." I said, going transparent, quickly untying Spike, and running at super speed toward the hidden base.
After 5 minutes, we arrived at the hidden base.
It looked like a normal house, cupboards full of food, 2 refrigerators full of food and drink, wood for fire, wood to block all entrances, and best of all, nopony in sight, except for me and Spike. I looked over at a near by desk.
"I'll write in this notebook every time I come her." I said to Spike.
I went over to write what happened that day.
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 1: MATING SEASON
Day 1: Today, is when our problem started. Today, is Mating Season for all the ponies of PonyVille, Canterlot, Fuck, all of Equestria. It started when I woke up. I got dressed, went outside, every mare was looking at me, then, they charged me, I ran to the library, to ask my friend, Twilight Sparkle what was going on. "Mating Season." She said, She said since to colt would mate with her, she gave up on Mating Season, so I went upstairs to talk to another friend, male, Spike the dragon, we talked and laughed, Twilight came in asking us what we were laughing at, I was about to answer, when she locked the door. Me and Spike ran toward our friends barn, we asked our friend AppleJack, Female, if we could hide in her barn, that is where I found this book, which contained a diagram, and location of this base, to hide away from danger. AppleJack tied us up so she could have her way with us, but we escaped. So here we are, hiding out at this base. I probably won't write everything that happens to us for these Seven Days we have until Mating Season is over, unless its important.
-Dylan
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 2: MATING SEASON
Day 2: Last night, me and Spike heard howling, each howl got louder, not like volume control louder, I mean, getting closer louder. We heard scratching on the door, and growling. Me and Spike were up all night, in the corner of the room, waiting for the scratching to stop, the Timberwolf would give up and walk away. It finally stopped, but we didn't sleep, we were afraid it would come back, I'm gonna sleep now, when I wake up, it will probably be Day 3.
-Dylan
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 3: MATING SEASON
Day 3: I slept all of yesterday because of the Timberwolf problem Night 1. We heard twigs snapping today, we hid in the corner, but it was just Zecora the Zebra walking by. She made a potion that made her able to control her 'Urges.' But Spike was still scared of her, because of, well, that ONE episode that's coming up soon. Speaking of which, even though its been a couple of days, we've heard no roars of an Ursa Minor, or of a dragon, that must mean that Trixie won't come here until the day after Mating Season. Can't wait for her to show, I have a way to troll her if she reacts to me the way I think she will, not scream, but something different. Anyway, later's Gee.
-Dylan
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 4: MATING SEASON
Day 4: We are in BIG trouble. Me and Spike went outside for some fresh air. But who just SO happened to fly over us. Rainbow Dash. We know she saw us, because she flew back toward town shouting "Every mare in PonyVille, I found them, GUYS!!!!" So now, me and Spike are hiding in our house, waiting for everypony to show up. We. Are. So. FUCKED!.
-Dylan
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 5: MATING SEASON
Day 5: Surprisingly, all is quiet, except for the quiet chirps of the birds. Why aren't they hear yet. Me and Spike had traps and weapons set for everypony, I can't use my powers because it will hurt them. Though I am tempted to Super Clap them all. But we can't, maybe me and Spike could shrink down and run when they show up. I'm gonna sleep now, setting up traps doesn't help my fatique.
-Dylan
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 6: MATING SEASON
Day 6: HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT. EVERY MARE IN PONYVILLE SHOWED UP, THEIR TRYING TO BREAK THROUGH THE BOARDS, BUT FAILING, EVEN WITH STRENGTH AND MAGIC, THE BOARDS WE NAILED IN ARE STURDY, BUT WON'T HOLD . . . NO! THEY HAVE SPIKES TAIL, I'LL WRITE LATER.
-Dylan
HIDDEN BASE JOURNAL ENTRY 7: MATING SEASON
Well, I did it, I Super Clapped them all the way to Ponyville. They will be back, but its 11:57 PM. 3 minutes until Mating Season's over. Until we get to leave the Everfree for . . . Shit, I hear hoofsteps, I'll Super Clap them back to PonyVille again. We are SAFE.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
-Dylan
Chapter 15: Boast Busters
I woke up in 'THE HIDDEN BASE.'
"Yes, didn't lose my virginity to a PONY, and neither did the poor BABY dragon. He shouldn't have to go through this.
After I woke Spike up, telling him that Mating Season is over, we went back to town, to hear.
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!!!"
"Great, I'm gonna see if my plan works!" I exclaimed, running toward the stage.
It was at the point where Rainbow, Applejack, and Rarity were already Trixie'd, I jumped on stage.
"It seems we have a new chall- OH MY GOODNESS, it seems we have a new type of species here, what are you?" Trixie asked.
"My names Dill, my species is known as HUMAN, and here I'm treated like royalty." I lied, and winked at the audience, and they all nodded.
"Royalty, well, Trixie apologizes for not giving you respect." She said, I smiled.
"And, its RUDE to talk in the 3rd person." I said, she looked sad, probably because that's her slogan, but she giggled, thinking it was a joke that it was rude to talk in the 3rd person.
"Ha, that's funny." She said, getting on her hind hooves and lightly hitting my shoulder, like when someone does something stupid, and you slap them lightly on their shoulder, everypony fake gasped, going along with everything that was happening.
"What?" Trixie asked when the gasps ended.
"Did you just pit slap me?" I asked.
"I'm sorry, is that a human thing?" She asked
Pulling my neck hole down past my shoulder a little, I said. "Do I look like your wife, do you want to have sex with me, ok, do it, do it!, JUST FUCKING DO IT!" I shouted.
"I'm SO sorry, do I bow?" She asked, I smirked.
"Yes." I said, pulling my neck hole back up. "Please bow."
She bowed.
"YES, BOW TO MEEEEEEE!" I shouted.
Rainbow flew up to me and said. "Your not a king!"
"I am a fawKING, good KING, I sentence you, to clean my TOILET." I said, laughing evily.
"And you" I said, pointing toward the bowing Trixie.
"Me?"
"Come with me, to my backyard." I said, licking my lips, causing Trixie to blush deeply. I finished. "I grow CORN."
Everypony except for the still blushing a little Trixie, laughed.
"I'm kidding Trixie, I'm no royalty, I'm just trollin." I said, turning invisible, and kicking Trixie in the flank.
Trixie was shocked that I could turn invisible, but was even more mad that I humiliated her in front of a entire town.
"How dare you, Trixie shall punish those who humiliate her!" She shouted, shooting a small ball of energy at me, it was going really slow.
I ran in place, screaming quietly, looking around for something to help me, making everypony laugh.
"Oh Great And Powerful Trixie, you are soooooo powerful." I said sarcastically, picking up the ball of energy, which wasn't even warm in normal motion, and tossed it all the way to the Everfree forest.
"Now, let me show you TRUE power." I said.
I brought my hands together.
BOOM
I sent Trixie all the way to Canterlot.
I bowed as everypony stomped there hooves for me.
"Wow Dill, ah can't believe you would help us, even after the way we treated ya." AJ said, blushing at her actions.
"We'll, now that that's over, me, Spike and Twilight have spells to work on, right Twi?" I asked her, she thought for a moment, then nodded.
After a half hour of spells, Twilight got to the mustache one.
"Hey Twi, I have a request for the mustache color." I said.
"Ok what color?" She asked.
I whispered the color into her ear.
"Why that color?" She asked.
I whispered in her ear again.
" 'Blazing who' requested it?" She asked.
"Just do it." I said.
"Fine." She said, doing the spell.
Sure enough, the mustache was the same as in the episode, except for the color. Pink.
"Aw man, why pink?" Spike asked.
"Markiplier LOVES Pink mustaches, he calls them Warfstaches." I said. "Twilight, do the same spell on me." I said.
She did the spell.
"Hello, my name is Wilfred Warfstache, I have the exclusive chance to interview the world famous, Twilight Sparkle." I said, she giggled.
"Alright guys, I need to remove those, these are just tests." She said.
"Oh well, I can grow one ALL by myself, with powers to help." I said, making my pink mustache appear again.
We all laughed.
Chapter 16: The Nightmare
I woke up in a "Nightmare."
I put Nightmare in quotes because, it wasn't scary.
I heard evil laughter, Discords laughter. I was sitting on a couch with him.
"Hello Dill." Discord said.
"Yo, whatup." I replied.
"Wow, nothing fazes you does it?" He asked.
"Nah, the only thing I was scared of was, the Timberwolf that showed up and, yuck, Mating Season." I replied.
"Yuck is right, anyway, back to business, I'm coming soon." Discord said.
"Ha, GAAAAAAAAAAY!" I exclaimed, he couldn't help but snicker.
"I didn't mean it like, I mean I-" I cut him off.
"Yes I know, I seen season 2 already." I said in a deadpan tone.
"Season 2?" He asked.
"Well, there's this thing, called T.V, and we're technically in the show right now, the show is called 'My little pony: Friendship is Magic. Its about the Elements of harmony or the 'Main six, they stick together, dealing with things like, Nightmare moon, the AWESOME DISCORD, I say awesome because, Hello, Chocolate rain, and Queen Chrysalis" I said.
"Interesting, how do they beat me?" He asked.
"Well they . . . Hey, you dirty creature, I'm not spoiling it, your gonna have to watch the show yourself, I'm waiting for season 4." I said.
"Well, since even MY magic can't conjure up my own T.V do to the fact of our magic not up to date with your technology, I'll enter your memories." He said.
"Good luck." I said.
He closed his eyes for two seconds, then opened them again, screaming.
"Aaaaaaaaah, what type of barrier of magic was that?" He asked.
"No magic, that's my brain." I said, using dream magic to conjure up eye drops for him.
"That's more disorganized then my CHAOS magic . . . I LOVE IT!" He exclaimed, I smiled.
"FINALLY, someone who likes the inside of my head." I said, satisfied.
"Oh man, you are my new best friend." He said with a big smile.
"You remind me of the God of Chaos from my world, Loki." I said.
"I like that name." Discord said.
"Oh my god, now that your here, I have to tell you something." I said.
"What might that be." He asked.
"So the other day, I was talking to Celestia, she was asking me questions of what was it like in my world, so, instead of telling her about T.V'S, I said a magical Warlock!" I exclaimed, Discord busted out laughing.
"Oh my, I new Celestia was clueless, but come on, a Warlock, that's just silly." He said, wiping away a tear.
"Yeah that's not even the best part, she said 'If you really know about the future, what am I thinking about.', I pretended to think, when I got a weird pain in my head, after it went away, I heard voices in my head, Celestia's voice, I was reading her mind, she said and I quote "Don't think about that hidden poster of Discord with a heart around it and your lipstick kisses on the poster." I said, Discord dropped his jaw.
"S-she likes me?" He asked.
"Yep." I said.
"We'll I'm flattered that she would like me, and I do admit, I did catch myself staring at, well, how would YOU put it, "Dat Flank." He said, I chuckled.
"I know right, I mean, you can park a chariot on that thing.' I said, He busted out laughing again.
"Dill, I have no idea how you come up with this stuff!" He exclaimed, wiping another tear away.
"Well, I DO find jokes inside of my unorganized mind somehow, anyway, what time is it?" I asked him.
"Its a quarter past EXPLODE!" He shouted throwing a grenade at my arm, blowing it up.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MY ARM . . . oh wait its a dream, I don't feel any pain." I said.
"But seriously though, its quarter past nine." Discord said.
"Well, I should wake up now, but before I do, here, have some Chocolate milk, fresh from the cotton candy cloud." I said.
"That's so generous of you." He said.
"Now if you need me, I'll be at that cliff right next to me." I said getting off the couch and walking toward the cliff.
"Dill, what are you doing?" Discord asked.
"This is how I usually wake up, now, it has been an honor talking to you Discord." I said, saluting.
"Farewell, you were a kind soldier." He said with a snicker.
I put my back toward the cliff. "I REGRET NOTHING!!!" I shouted as I fell off the cliff, waking me up.
I woke up from my "NightMare," to a knock on my door.
So I got up, I was wearing a blue pajama shirt, and a pair of Ninja Turtle pajama pants.
"Hello." I said, opening my front door. It was the Main Six.
"Dill, where were you all of yesterday?" Twilight asked.
"Sleeping, I had a dream, that Discord, God Of Chaos, was telling me he was coming soon, no biggy." I said, going back upstairs, the Main Six followed.
I don't mind people watching me get dressed, as long as I don't have to change my underwear, which I didn't.
"You had a dream, that Discord was c-coming?" Flutters asked as I was pulling my shirt over my head.
"Yeah, hes not as bad as I thought, he went into my memories to see how you guys beat him, I ended up giving him eye drops for what was inside my brain." I said, taking off my pants.
"Darling, are you sure you don't want your privacy, we are girls after all?" Rarity asked.
"Its fine, I would of pushed you out of here if I was going to change my underwear anyway." I replied, she just nodded.
"Nice muscles." Applejack blurted out, before covering her mouth quickly, blushing
"Thanks, anyway, if I slept for a day, then I guess you came here for the dragon situation?" I asked, they all nodded.
"Yeah, were gonna kick his fla-" I cut her off, as a headache came on.
"UGH!" I growled.
"Dill, did you get a new power?" Twi asked.
"No, I hear a . . . voice in my head." I said.
Voice in head: Hello Dill, make as many Skyrim references as you can for the entire episode.
"Ok." I said.
"Dill, who are you talking to?" Twi asked.
"Oh, you know that one guy that requested Spike's mustache color, well he just said to make as many Skyrim references as I can." I said.
"Skyrim?" Twi asked.
"One of those games I was talking about, now, time for some 'Dragon Shouts." I said, pain going through my throat.
"Ugh!" I growled.
"What new power did you get?" Dash asked.
"You'll see." I said. "Now, lets go slay a dragon." I said running my fastest without my power.
"Dill, the mountain is that that way." Twi said, annoyed.
"Oh yeah, lets go slay a dragon." I said again, running in the RIGHT direction.
After a 10 minute climb, we made it to a tiny gap in the rode.
"Come on shy, you can do it." I said.
"No I can't." She said, I was now annoyed.
"You know shy." I said, picking her up, and literally stepping over the gap. "You need to be more brave, don't listen to your name." I said, she nodded as I put her down.
So after another 10 minutes, we made it.
"Watch out for arrows, they say that their attracted to knees." I said.
So the Main Six except for flutters and dash went in, when it was dashes turn, she was about to go full speed into the dragon, but I stopped her by growing into her line of fire with my 'Scale Power.'
"Whoa dash, you don't want to do that, that dragon will bite you in half." I said, she sighed, and she did something I couldn't comprehend, she punched my stomach and flew right into the dragon.
The dragon was pissed.
When Rainbow came out of the cave, I froze her with my 'Ice Breath.' And pushed the Dashsicle, so that she would slide down the entire mountain.
"Alright, now that dash can't be in our way, allow me to handle this." I said with a confident smirk.
"Do you really think you can stop me from eating your friends?" He asked.
"As the Dragon Born would say." I said, taking in a huge breath. "FUS RO DAH!" I shouted, a big force coming out of my mouth, hitting the dragon dead on. The dragons from Skyrim were tougher then this guy, instead of a simple recoil, this dragon got sent back into the cave, hitting the wall, everyone was shocked.
"Fus Ro Dah means, Force, Balance, Push in dragon." I said to them.
I went up to the now barely conscious dragon.
"Are you gonna leave, or am I gonna have to Fus Ro Dah all over your face?" I asked.
"Ok, Ok, I'll leave, I'll leave, please don't hurt me anymore." He pleaded.
In a matter of seconds, he picked up all of his treasure, and flew off rainboom speed.
"That, was, AMAZING!" Twi exclaimed. "I never seen so much power before, not even the princesses powers." She said.
"Eh, my 'Super Clap' has more force, I just didn't want him to go right through the cave wall and land on an unsuspecting pony." I said, Twi's jaw dropped at the fact that that was a weak power.
"I'm bringing you to the Princesses to show them all of your powers." She exclaimed, I frowned.
"Twi, I can only show her my normal powers tomorrow, there are 20 shouts, so I'll show her my shouts the day after, because there's a storm the day after tomorrow, and I don't want to be apart of the sleep over you, Applejack and Rarity will throw during the storm." I replied.
"What was that about the sleep over?" Twi asked.
"Never mind, so, I'll have to find a place to sleep in Canterlot, because, I'm not going to fly to Canterlot, just so I have to fly back here, then go back, then come back here." I said.
"Well, the Princesses will probably let you sleep in the castle, I'll have Spike write her a letter." Twi said.
"Ok, sounds good." I said running down the mountain, and unfreezing Dash.
"What year is i-it?" Dash asked, shivering.
"Same year, you just missed me use my new power on the dragon." I said, she dropped her jaw.
"Show it to me, NOW!" She yelled.
"Ok, ok." I said, taking a huge breath.
"What are you doi-" I cut her off as I yelled "FUS RO DAH!"
The last thing I heard before she flew off too far was.
"DYLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
Chapter 18: Power ShowOff
I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. I looked out my window and saw the royal guards.
"That's right, I have to go to Canterlot." I said.
I put on my clothes I had on the first day I was here.
"Yo, whatup." I said to the guards.
Shining Armor was at the door, along with a obvious rookie, I new she was a rookie because she giggled at my 'Yo whatup,' and I know royal guards only laugh when you tickle them with feathers.
The mare was an Earth pony, she had on the same armor as any other Royal guard, gold. She had a white coat, (Not racist.) And her cutie mark was covered up by her armor. Her mane was sticking out of the front of the helmet, She had a dark blue mane with dark green highlights in it. And her eyes were a dark blue.
"The Princess has asked us to escort you to the castle, where you will show her your power." Shining said sternly.
"Sure, sounds fun." I replied.
"No funny business." The rookie said with a smirk.
I put my hands up in a surrender pose and said. "Watch out, we got a badass over here." I said, causing the rookie to giggle, and Shining to snicker.
"I'm sure you can tell she's a rookie." Shining said.
"Well, with a threat like 'No funny business,' I'm surprised she isn't the Captain." I said, which again, caused Shining to snicker, and the rookie to giggle.
"What's your name anyway?" I asked her.
"DayBreeze, my name's DayBreeze." She replied, Shining coughed.
"OH, I mean, PRIVATE DAYBREEZE AT YOUR SERVICE!" She shouted, I fake stumbled to make her laugh again. It worked.
"Your a funny guy, aren't ya, anyway, lets not waste time, lets go." She said, hopping in the Chariot.
"I'm guessing you brought her to show her the ropes?" I asked Shining, he just nodded.
I hopped in right next to Breeze.
"So Breeze, this your first day?" I asked.
"Yep, I'm excited too, me and my sister ALWAYS wanted to be Royal Guards since we were fillies." She replied.
"I'm gonna guess and say your sisters name is NightWind, right?" I asked.
"How'd you know?" She asked.
"Just guessed." I said truthfully, they weren't even on the show.
After a nice talk with Breeze, we eventually made it to the castle, we went inside, and we were about to enter the throne room, when we heard a guard shout.
"WE GOT A RUNNER!"
Sure enough there was a Stallion Earth pony, he had a grey coat, and a black mane, the rest of him had a black and white striped jail uniform, running toward the exit.
And to my surprise, the princesses burst from the throne room, Shining withdrew his sword to hold off the runner.
"Shining, put your sword back in its sheathe, and give it to me!" I shouted.
"Why?" He asked.
"Just do it!" I replied, he obliged.
I hid behind the corner we were right next to, once the runner was close to me, I shouted. "BITCH!" As I hit him in the face with the sheathed sword, he fell down, unconscious.
"Wow, why didn't I think of that?" Breeze asked.
"Because, I'm AWESOME!" I shouted, causing her to giggle.
"Nice work Dylan, Shining!, take him to the dungeons." Celestia commanded.
"Yes, your highness." He replied, magically picking up the unconscious runner.
"Well Dylan, don't think that your actions won't go unrewarded, anyway, lets go and see your powers in action." Luna said with a smile.
So we went into the throne room.
"Now Dylan, show us your first power." Celestia said.
"Alright, send your best guard to come at me." I requested.
"Shining!" She shouted, I heard quick hoofsteps coming up behind me, he was running.
I activated slow motion, turned around, and saw Shining Armor, slowly running to me, holding his sword above his head with magic, I smirked.
I jumped on his back, took his sword and put it up to his neck, I turned off slow motion.
"Sorry Shining, but your gonna have to do better then that." I said, everypony gasped.
I put his sword back in his sheathe.
"I have never seen somepony actually avoid my sneak attack before." Shining said, I smiled.
"Anyway, my next power will be my 'Super Clap,' send another guard at me, anyone will do." I said, I turned to my right, and saw one of the white pegasus guards from the SSC walk toward me, with a confident smirk.
"Such confidants." I said.
I 'Super Clapped.'
BOOM
He was sent flying.
"Never underestimate your opponent though." I said to the jaw dropped princesses.
"That was AWESOME!" I heard DayBreeze shout.
"I know right." I said, I heard hoofsteps running up behind me.
"Next power." I said, activating my next power.
I turned and saw another guard at the ready.
"Hit me with your sword." I said.
"WHAT!" I heard the princesses and DayBreeze call out.
"I'll be fine." I said to them. "Come on"
He obliged and swung, the blade went through me.
"I said swing." I said with a smirk.
He swung, and swung, and swung again, each swing going through me.
Until finally, he fell on the floor exhausted.
"How did you do that?" Celestia asked, finally picking up her jaw.
"Maaaaaaaagic." I said in a ghostly fashion. "Send your bravest and swiftest with a sword guards." I said to the princess.
Two guards came up. One being another white guard, and the other being . . . DayBreeze.
"So, I'm guessing you got your name because, your swift like the breeze when its daytime?" I asked.
"Yep." She said.
"Alright Breeze, you come at me first." I said, she obliged and swung, I dodged with 'Super Speed.'
"I thought you already showed of Slow motion?" She asked.
"This, my friend, is 'Super Speed.' I said, she smirked.
"You can't dodge ALL of my swings." She said, swinging again, this time though, I shrunk.
"Where'd you go?" She asked, confused.
"Down here." I said, my voice squeaky.
She turned around and saw normal sized me.
With 'Super Speed' I stole her sword, then gave it back to her.
"Alright, "Brave" soldier, are you so brave now?" I asked.
I started to grow, and grow, and grow, until my head hit the ceiling.
I looked around saw everypony was shaking. And I smelt, urine.
All of a sudden, every guard except for the shaking "Brave" guard, the shaking Shining armor, the shaking Luna, and the slightly shaking Celestia.
"Yo, whatup." I said in a deep, ground shaking voice.
That did it, everypony else urinated themselves, except for Celestia who was just shaking like she was in a freezer wearing clothing made out of ice.
Everypony left except for Celestia.
"So Celestia, how's life?" I asked, she then urinated, then left the room.
10 minutes later, I had shrunken down to my size, I was asleep in the corner of the room, where the urine didn't stink as bad, I woke up up to the sound of heavy doors opening and closing.
"Wimps." I said to myself.
I turned invisible, walked in front of them, and turned visible.
"Alright, that was my invisible power." I said after they finished jumping back.
"Well, Dill, anymore powers?" DayBreeze asked, still shaking a bit.
"Well, this one will have you all shivering again, not with being scared, but with coldness." I said. "Now, I want every guard to go directly in front of me." I said, they obliged.
I took a deep breath, and exhaled, I froze every guard except there heads.
"Cold?" I asked.
"Y-y-y- yes." Breeze answered.
"This will warm you up." I said.
I squinted for a bit, before red lazers shot out of my eyes and melted the ice.
They weren't shivering anymore.
"THANK YOU!" DayBreeze shouted, running up to me and giving me a hug.
"No prob bob, anyway, here's a power where I don't need the guards." I said, everypony breathed a sigh of relief.
I took flight, and flew around the room, everypony was shocked to say the least.
"How's that possible, you don't even have wings!" Luna shouted.
"Maaaaaaaagic." I said again. "Now, its getting late, I need to know where my room is." I said.
"I'll take you there." DayBreeze said.
"Alright, bye have a great time." I said to everypony, as I was led to my bedroom.
Chapter 19: The Nightmare 2
I woke up on Discords couch.
"Yo whatup." I said to Discord, who was on the other side of the couch.
"Hello Dill, why are you in Canterlot, here to assassinate the princesses for me?" He asked.
"Unfortunately, I left my Hidden Blade in the shop." I said to him with a smirk.
"Darn." He exclaimed.
"So, why am I here with you, I'm not complaining, your not that bad of a guy, but why am I in here with you?" I asked.
"Eh, I get lonely sometimes, but why are you in Canterlot?" He asked.
"You know those powers I have, the princesses wanted to see them." I said. "Now, lets go somewhere else, other then this, blackness."
"Good idea." He said.
So we transitioned to my house.
"Welcome Discord, to my 'Home of DOOOOOOOM,' . . . alright, just my home." I said, he snickered at my 'house of doom' thing.
"Eh, I liked the first one better." He said, jumping on my bed.
"So Discord, I want to show you something." I said, walking up to my HOME computer, not laptop, my faster, not being able to carry it around with me, computer.
"What is this contraption." He asked.
"Welcome, my friend, to the INTERNET, you can find tons of things on here." I said, searching up kittens on Google Images.
"This is like, magic in a box." He said, shocked.
"With the internet, you can do almost ANYTHING, earn money, buy things, one that you will like, play CHAOS games." I said, he smiled at CHAOS games.
"What can you do in these 'Chaos Games?" He asked.
"Well, some games are fun and exciting, like a game like 'Minecraft,' where you wake up in a deserted world, where everything is made of blocks, surviving the day is easy, but when the Zombies, Skeletons, and Spiders show up, you have to fight for survival, then there's chaos games, blood, gore, bad language, that stuff." I explained, he brightened up at the sound of Chaos games.
"Do you have 'Chaos Games?" He asked, I chuckled.
"Do I have any, DO I HAVE ANY, That's basically all I have!" I shouted, his smile could rival Pinkie's anytime.
"What do you have?" He asked.
"Well, its a good thing you have fingers, or you wouldn't be able to play, imagine, only YOU can cause the CHAOS in this game, the ponies can't stop you, they don't have fingers." I exclaimed, his smile grew. "This game is called, 'Team Fortress 2" I said.
"Team Fortress 2, what's that?" He asked.
With my dream powers I conjured a Desert Eagle.
"What's that?" He asked
"This is a gun, called the DEagle, or Desert Eagle." I said, Conjuring up Dream Trixie.
"Wha-" I cut her off as I shot her right in the head, her head exploded.
"What do you think?" I asked him, his jaw was dropped.
"I-I LOVE IT!" He exlaimed, conjuring up his own gun, summoning random ponies.
"Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!" He shouted every time he shot somepony.
"Alright, now, let me show you 'Team Fortress 2." I said to him.
We loaded up the game, and joined a random server.
I explained to him each class and what weapons they have, and what you can do, and how you move, eventually, he got the hang of it, and his favorite classes were Engineer and Heavy, Heavy for being strong and had a heavy gun which could shoot tons of bullets at a time.
He liked Engineer do to the fact that you could have machines to your bidding for you as your on the other side of the map.
Eventually, everyone in chat and everyone with a mic was saying how awesome this new guy was.
"Hahahahaha, 'Eat your dust, huh,' well eat my BULLETS, hahahahaha!" Discord shouted.
"Oh Dill, I never had this much fun in yea-" He was cut off as the dream went from reality to dream.
"What happened?" I asked him.
"Oh boy I lost track of time, you slept for an entire 24 hours, and they are trying to wake you up." He said
"Sounds legit." I said casually.
"Well Dill, I think you have to make up now." He said.
"Yeah, next time though, I'll show you Skyrim." I said, taking a gun, saluted, which he did back, and I pulled the trigger.
Chapter 20: Shouting And Getting Drunk
I woke up to the princesses shaking me awake.
"BY CELESTIA'S BEARD!" I shouted, having them jump back.
"What happened, why didn't you wake up, I thought you were dead." Luna said, a tear going down her face.
"Just a dream about Discord, no biggie." I said, Celestia's jaw dropped.
"What has he done to you, have a giant monster chase after you, your family dying, your semen bei-" I cut her off.
"No he hasn't done anything, hes not such a bad guy once you get to know him, hes hilarious, he likes the inside of my mind, says its so unorganized, that he needed eye drops for what hes seen, and likes destruction." I said with a smile.
"I never thought I would see the day, where sompony would actually LIKE, Discord." Luna said, I chuckled.
"Doesn't your sist-" I was cut off as I was being hit in the head with a white hoof.
"Don't. Mention. IT!" She said angrily.
"Now, lets show you my shouts." I said, walking to the throne room.
'Alright, first one is called, Fus Ro Dah, Fus Ro Dah is dragon fo-" I was cut off by Luna.
"Force, Balance, Push, but I don't see why its so powerful about it." Luna said, I smiled
"You speak Dragon, well here's why its so powerful." I said, taking a deep breath, I shouted. "FUS RO DAH! I blew Celestia to the other side of the room.
"S-so that's why its powerful." Luna said, shocked.
"That isn't as powerful as my 'Super Clap,' now, let me show you another shout, it has to be outside though." I said, walking to the exit.
We made it outside.
"Alright, this Shout allows me to change the weather." I said, Celestia put on a serious face.
"Dill, don't lie, what is this next one?" Celestia asked, I chuckled.
"I'm serious, watch." I said, taking in another breath, I shouted. "STRUN BAH QO."
In a matter of seconds, the clouds moved all around, until every bit of sun and light was gone, then, it started raining, hard. The princesses and the guards were shocked.
"How, how did you do that?" Celestia asked.
"Dragon souls, now, lets fix this." I said, taking in a breath, I shouted. "LOK VAH KOOR!"
And as quickly as it appeared, it went away, gone like a dream.
"Now, lets find a Manticore." I said casually.
"WHAT!" Everypony shouted
I eventually convinced the princesses to teleport us to the Everfree Forest.
We heard a roar in the distance.
I heard the guards withdraw there swords.
"Gentlemen." I said to them, while walking up to the Manticore.
"Dill get ba-" I cut her off as I shouted.
"RAAN MIR TAH!"
The Manticore stopped growling, and to everyponies shock, it started to lick me.
"Who's a good kitty." I said to him. "Now, go back into the wo-" I was cut off when we heard more growling
I turned around to see 2 Timberwolves.
"ATTACK!" I shouted to the Manticore, which did what it was told.
He won.
Everypony was shocked.
"Alright, let me show you another shout now, lets go back." I said
We made it back to the throne room.
"Alright, Shining, face me again." I said, my back to him, he took this moment to sneak up on me, which failed.
He was a foot behind me, before he could react, I turned around and shouted.
"ZUN HAAL VIIK!"
His sword went from being surronded by a pink aura, to a bluish aura, and was sent flying to the other side of the room.
He tried to pick it up with magic, but failed.
"Let me." I said, I shouted. "VIIK HAAL ZUN!"
His sword was sent back to his sheathe.
"Alright Princesses, shoot a powerful beam of energy at me." I said.
"Alright, your just being suicidal." DayBreeze said.
"Alright, this has three words in it, but I'll use two, because the third one will hurt you." I said.
Celestia shot a golden beam at me, while Luna shot a blue one.
I shouted. "GAAN LAH!"
The beams disappeared, and the princesses fell over, exhausted.
"W- What was that?" Luna asked, I chuckled.
"I drained your Stamina and Magic, try levitating my shoe." I said, taking off my shoe.
They grunted, but couldn't.
After 5 minutes, Celestia got up. "What was the third one supposed to do?" Celestia asked.
"It was supposed to make you lose health, become sick, in pain, you know, that kind of stuff." I responded, she nodded.
After an hour of showing all of my shouts, it was time to go to bed.
"Good night!" I called out, before closing my door.
I was about t fall asleep, when I heard a cork come off a bottle.
"Is that . . . Champagne?" I asked myself.
It came from Celestia's room.
I shrunk down to an ants size, and went under the door.
I saw Celestia and Luna, with glasses full of champagne and ice.
"The past week has been difficult, has it not sister?" Luna asked.
"Yes it has, I say though, Dylan's powers are, well, powerful." Celestia said with a giggle.
"Yes, can you believe he drained our Stamina and Magic just by . . . Shouting?" Luna asked.
"He could of easily hurt us, but didn't, such a kind heart, I can't help but think he could be a threat though." Celestia said.
"WHAT!, Dill is funny, smart in his own way, and hes really the only pony who's not afraid of me, heck, hes not even afraid of a Manticore, Nightmare Moon, Discord, Timberwolves, plus, hes my only friend." Luna said, I smiled.
"Thanks Luna." I said, growing up to my size.
They jumped back when they saw me.
"Dill, h-how long of you been standing their?" Luna asked.
"Ever since I heard the popping sound of a Champagne bottle opening, I never had any in a while." I said with a smile.
"Well, care to join us?" Celestia asked.
"If the princess of the sun asked me, how could I say no." I said, hopping on the bed. They giggled.
"Someones eager." Luna said with a smile, I returned it.
"Yes, now, on to business." I said in a British accent, grabbing a glass, filling it with ice, then champagne, and began to drink.
2 HOURS LATER
"A-a-and then 'hic' I kicked her in the 'hic' flank." I said, finishing my story about when Trixie came to town, they busted out laughing.
"Shhhhhh, l-l-let me tell you a st-'hic' story now." Luna said, shushing us drunkenly, me and Celestia snickered at her drunken shush.
"So y-you know when you made fun of Tia's flank, well 'hic,' once we made it back here, Tia made a run for it toward the mirror, asking if her flank l-looked liked the size of a 'hic' truck." Luna said, which caused me to fall down laughing, while Tia looked pissed.
"S-shut up 'hic' your flank is bigger than 'hic' mine!" Celestia yelled drunkenly.
"Nu uh, yours is 'hic' bigger." Luna shot back, the fight was making it hard to stand up , I was laughing too hard.
"Yeah hu, yours is WAY bigger than a truck." Celestia shot back.
"Dill, who's flank is 'hic' bigger?" Luna asked.
"Yeah, who's flank is bigger?" Celestia asked.
They both got up, and put their flanks in front of me.
"Celestia's." I said.
"What!, my flank is smaller than hers!" She exclaimed.
"Hey, hey, hey, Big flanks are considered sexy to a lot of males." I said.
"Really, well than." She backed into me, putting her flank in my face. "Am I sexy?" She said seductively.
"Yes Celestia, your very sexy, now move or I'm gonna get smothered." I said.
She sat down.
"Aw, why can't I be sexy?" Luna asked.
"You are sexy, now, we need to stop with the term 'Sexy,' its not very princess like." I said, they nodded.
"Though, here's one we can ALL agree on, Twilight has a big flank." I said.
"True." Luna and Celestia said at the same time.
We all busted out laughing, before me past out.
Chapter 21: BlueBloods In Charge
Now most people would have a hangover after drinking, it was strong Champagne, It tasted like Vodka, anyway, any normal person would have a headache after drinking Champagne that tastes like Vodka, I'm not a normal person. I woke up on Celestia and under Luna, full of energy, Luna's eyes started to open, seeing me under her made her face go COMPLETELY red.
"D-Dill, um . . . this is awkwar-AGH!" She yelled in pain.
"Headache?" I asked her.
She nodded.
"I don't, I have TONS of energy." I said, wiggling out from under Luna.
I woke Celestia up.
"Morning sleeping beauty." I said with a smile.
"Good Morning Dyla-AGH!" She yelled in pain.
"Yeah, you and me both sister." Luna said.
"You guys aren't well enough to look after Equestria." I said.
"Don't be silly Dylan, I'm perfectly capable of runin-" She cut herself off as she groaned. "Bucket, BUCKET!"
With my energy, I ran and got two buckets, and laid two of them right under Luna's and Tia's heads.
"Thanks Dylan." Celestia said, throwing up into her bucket.
"How are you guys hung over, it was only Champagne, though, it did have a bit of a Vodka taste in it." I said.
"What?" Celestia asked as she lifted up the empty bottle.
Sure enough the label fell off of the bottle, in big red letters read.
Vodka
"Who could of switched the bottles?" Luna asked.
"I don't know, but the point is that, BlueBlood will have to take over for us." Tia said.
All of a sudden we heard a very loud yell on the other side of the wall.
"YES, I'M RULER!" It shouted.
"I think I know who switched the bottles." I deadpanned.
"Me too." Tia and Luna said in unison.
"Alright, what do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Keep an eye on BlueBlood, who KNOWS what he could." Luna said.
"Alright." I said, walking out of the room.
I eventually found BlueBlood sitting in Celestia's throne.
"Hello BlueBlood, Celestia has requested me to keep an eye on you while running the country." I said, he just scoffed.
"And why would my Auntie request a hairless MONKEY to look after me." He said annoyed, already he was getting annoying.
"Just, don't screw up." I said.
"Don't talk like that to the new leader of the country." He shot back, I chuckled.
"Yes, Princess BlueBlood." I said with a smug smile, my comment caused Shining and Breeze to snicker.
He just growled at me.
I walked over to Shining and DayBreeze.
"So, how do you like the new princess?" I asked, they snickered.
"Hes rude and snobbish, but he says if we disobey him, he'll throw us in the dungeon." DayBreeze said.
"I wonder how he will take it when he finds out Celestia's better now." I said, they gave me confused looks.
"What do you mean, she's sic-" I cut her off as 'Power Pain' went through me.
"Agh." I growled quietly.
"You ok?" Shining asked.
"Yeah, that's 'Power Pain,' it means I earned a new ability, the pain only goes through the body part where the power can be accessed." I said, getting back on my feet.
"So, where did the pain happen?" Breeze asked, I chuckled.
"All over." I replied.
"What's your new ability?" Shining asked.
"You'll see if things get WAY out of hand." I said with a smirk
5 MINUTES LATER
"Things are gone WAY out of hand." I whispered to DayBreeze.
We didn't want to be too loud, for we were FANNING BlueBlood.
"I know, I mean, look at Shining." DayBreeze whispered back, pointing a hoof at Shining.
Shining was wearing clown makeup, and big red shoes, with a BIG red nose.
"What power did you get?" Breeze asked.
"Shape shifting." I said, changing into DayBreeze.
Luckily BlueBlood had cucumbers over his eyes and a mud mask, or he would yell I was a Changling.
I gave her the other fan, and ran away from everyponies sight, and changed into Celestia.
Everypony bowed as I walked passed them.
"Ahem." I coughed.
"Who dares disturb me?" He said taking out a piece of cucumber.
"Me." I said in Celestia's voice.
"A-Auntie Celestia, I was just, uh, I-" I cut him off.
"You were just what, using my guards as your own personal servants, you should be ashamed, go to your room." I said sternly.
"But-"
"No buts, TO YOUR ROOM!" I shouted.
He just grumbled and walked off.
"Wow Princess, thank you, he was annoying, no offence." Shining said.
"Your welcome." I said in my voice as I changed back to my form.
"D-Dill?, That was AMAZING, thank you for stopping him from using us as servants." Breeze said, hugging me.
"No prob Bob, now, tell Celestia, Shining is in her place because, I forced BlueBlood to stop because he was treating us with disrespect, I have a new power to test." I said, 'Power Pain' going through my entire body.
Then teleporting out of the castle and into PonyVille, which was . . . Deserted.
"Psssst, Dill, come here." Pinkie said, motioning me inside SugarCube Corner.
"Bridle Gossip." I said to myself, as I went inside.
Chapter 22: Bridle Gossip
I went into SugarCube Corner, to find the 'Main Six.'
"Yo, whatup." I said, Pinkie frowned a little.
"What's up, WHAT'S UP, I'll tell you what's up, an evil enchantress has entered PonyVille from the EverFree Forest to brainwash us all, THAT'S what's up." Pinkie exclaimed, I blinked.
"Calm down Pinkie, I think me and Twilight would agree that she's a harmless Zebra." I said, Twilight nodded.
"Yes, Dill's right, she's just a zebra, she's perfectly harmless." Twi said, I smiled.
"Thank you Twilight, besides eating hay and entering PonyVille every once and a while, which you guys do, what did she ever do wrong?" I asked.
"Well, she lives in the Everfree Forest." Pinkie said, everypony but me gasped.
"The weather controls itself." Dash said.
"The animals care for themselves." Flutters said, I smiled.
"Reminds me of home, now, I'm gonna go talk to her, you coming AppleBloom?" I asked her, she smiled and followed.
"Dill, AppleBloom, get back here, its not safe." Said Applejack, but we went on.
We came up to Zecora.
"Yo, whatup." I said, she smiled.
"Hello Dill, I see you survived 'Mating Season,' I'm glad you escaped the Mares who were after your, well . . . Semen." She said with a light blush.
"You don't have to rhyme Zecora, I don't mind it, but it gets repetitive." I said with a sincere smile.
" . . . Alright, I guess if its for my only friend, I'll do it, but who is this." She asked, referring to AppleBloom, she smiled.
"Ah'm AppleBloom, everypony is scared because you live in the Everfree Forest, that's why there's nopony here." AppleBloom said, Zecora frowned.
"I-I'm sorry if I brought great fear to this town, I-I should go." She said, sad.
"I could come with you, you wanna come with us AppleBloom?" I asked, she shook her head.
"No thanks, Ah'm scared of the Forest." She said, I nodded.
"Ok, come on Zecora." I said, she looked surprised.
"Your willing to go into the Everfree, aren't you scared?" She asked, I smiled.
"Heck no, nothing scares me except 'Mating Season,' TimberWolves scared me then, but that was because, if I did anything loud to scare it away, then we would of been found." I said, she smiled.
We walked through the forest, when we found the 'Poison Joke.'
"Becareful Dill, these flowers pull dirty jokes on ponies, who knows what it could do to a non pony." Zecora said.
I squinted, and shot lazers out of my eyes, making the flowers burn into nothing, Zecora looked surprised.
"I see why your not scared of the forest." Zecora said with an amused smirk.
"That's not all I can do." I said, we heard a growling.
A manticore jumped out of nowhere.
"Wait." I said to the scared Zecora.
I saw a aura coming off the manticore.
It was the one who I tamed.
"Bad boy, this is a friend." I said to the manticore, it frowned, and his eyes were watering.
"Awwwwwwww, I can't stay mad at you, now, go on, into the forest." I said, he obliged and went on, I looked at the awestruck Zebra.
"T-that was amazing, I didn't know you had a pet manticore." She said, I smiled.
"I tamed him with one of the many powers I have." I said, shouting into the sky to make the upcoming clouds go away, she looked surprised.
"It is great to have a friend with powers, its just great to have a friend though." She said with a frown, I smiled.
"Don't worry, once AppleBloom tells everypony that your nice, you'll have many friends." I said, she smiled again.
"I hope so."
After a while, we made it to her cottage.
We went in, and I sat down.
"Nice place." I said.
"I didn't expect any company, so I didn't bother to clean up, sorry for the mess." She said.
"Reminds me of me, even if I DO expect company I don't clean up." I said.
After a half hour of conversation, we started to make potions.
"And that's the story of how I got my Cutie Mark." She said, finishing her story of how she got her Cutie Mark.
"That was an amazing story of how you got your cutie mark, did she wash the green off of her?" I asked, she smiled.
"No, I here she's still trying to scrub it off to this day." She said with a smile, I laughed.
"Well this one time I-" I was cut off as the door flung open, revealing the 'Main Six.'
"DILL!" The 'Main Six.' shouted.
"We're glad your safe, what has she done to you?" Rainbow asked.
Before I could answer, she charged at Zecora.
I sighed, went slow motion, moved Zecora over to where I was. Causing Dash to bump into the wall.
Applejack went for a buck, I had enough with this annoyance.
"FUS!" I shouted, causing everpony but Zecora and me to go flying into the wall.
"SIT!" I commanded.
"Bu-" I cut Dash off.
"SIT!"
They all obliged.
"Now, what the HELL, was that?" I asked annoyed.
"Zecora hypnotized yah into coming into coming into the forest, to cook yah and eat yah, right?" Applejack asked, I just facepalmed.
"Really, just because she lives in the Everfree, doesn't me she's gonna do anything bad, the worst she could do is turn me into a frog." I said with a smile, Zecora nodded
"Yes it is true, I would never hurt him." She said, everypony sighed with relief.
"Alright, now that that's settled, get to work with some potions." I exclaimed, everypony cheered.
So after a while, we made TONS of potions.
"Alright, now, lets see this one." I said, taking a swig of the potion.
"Dill, wait, that's a sleeping poti-" Zecora didn't get to finish as I hit the floor.
Chapter 24: Swarm Of The Century
I woke up right next to Zecora.
"Good morning Dill, how did you sleep?" She asked.
"It was a good nap, but now, I should head to PonyVille." I replied, she frowned.
"Its so sad to see a good friend leave, do you want some breakfast before you go?" She asked, my stomach growled.
"That answer your question?" I asked her, she laughed.
So, after a nice chat over some tea and toast, I left her place.
"See ya Zecora." I called.
"Bye Dill." She replied, before heading inside.
After a while, I made it to PonyVille, and saw a ball of Parasprites heading my way.
"THIS episode." I said sadly.
I took a big breath in, then exhaled, freezing the giant ball of Parasprites in its tracks.
I ventured into PonyVile, and saw the Main Six.
"Hey guys, I almost got hit by a giant ball of Parasprites, so how have your lives been." I asked casually.
Surprisingly, Flutters picked me up.
"Oh you poor thing, we didn't mean to, are you alright?" She asked, I smiled.
"I'm fine, I froze them in there tracks, they shouldn't be going anywhere anytime so-" I was cut off as a swarm of Parasprites picked me up, and tossed me right next to the music store a couple blocks away.
"Ugh, I should watch my words." I said to myself.
I looked up to see a grey Earth pony mare, with a black mane, a pink bow-tie and a pink music note Cutie Mark, holding her hoof out.
It was Octavia.
"Oh my goodness, Dylan, are you alright?" She asked, I took her hoof, pulled myself up to my feet, dusting off and smiled.
"Of course, just got thrown from the entrance of the Everfree to here, I'm fine, tell me though, why are their 2 of you." I asked the 'two' of them, she giggled.
"Oh Dylan, always so funny, your fall must of made your vision double." She replied, I nodded.
I shook my head a few times, and there was only 1 Octavia.
"Alright, so, there is a BIG bunch of Parasprites flying around, eating all of the food in PonyVille, I'm gonna need a all of these items." I said, getting a list of instruments out of a bush (Pinkie.) and handed it to her.
"That's a lot of items, why ever do you need these many instruments, I didn't even know you could play instruments." She replied.
"I'll explain later, and I've been playing ALL of these instruments since I was, like, 10." I lied, I didn't really know how, but I bet I could get a power that allows me to.
After 5 minutes, I got all of the instruments I needed.
"That will be, 1000 bits, please." She said with a smile, I returned it.
I slid my wallet out of my pocket and was about to open it, when I realized that I didn't have their currency.
I was about to put my wallet back, when I heard a jingle come from my wallet. I didn't remember having change.
I opened it, and to my shock, I saw that all of my money, was now bits. It seemed that with a 100 dollar bill, I got 100 bits.
I had over 10,000 dollars with me.
Octavia's eyes went wide at my bits.
"H-how did you EVER make THAT much money?" She asked.
"Well, I had over 10,000 dollars, my currency, in my wallet, and it just converted in bits." I replied, her jaw dropped to the ground, cartoon logic.
"That's AMAZING, it must be great to be a new creatu-" She quickly put her hoof over her mouth to stop her from finishing the word creature. "Not that your weird or anything, I mean creature as in, uh, uh . . . HEY, didn't you say that you knew how to play ALL of these instruments." She said changing the subject.
I acted mad.
"I would show you, but I'm OFFENDED at what you called me, for shame." I said, giving a over dramatic "Hmph." She was depressed. I couldn't help but chuckle and mess up her mane. "I'm just kidding you big softy, I'm not mad, I'll show you." I said with a smile.
She smiled for a bit, then frowned.
"Well now I'M offended, playing such a tri-" I cut her off as I hugged her.
"That make you feel better?" I asked, she giggled.
"Yes, now, let me see you play ALL of these instruments." She said with a smile.
I made a new power that allowed me to play each of those instruments, nothing major, but enough to make her applaud.
"Thank you, I'll be here for a LONG while." I said bowing.
"That was amazing, now, can you sing?" She asked, I took a step back.
"Whoa there, everyone on my planet says I can sing amazingly, but I don't think so." I said to her, she pushed me toward a microphone.
"Sing." She said sternly.
"No." I replied.
"Sing."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"HA!" She exclaimed, my trick didn't work.
"Well it appears that I should step up on my trickery, but for now, I guess, I will sing." I said with a sigh, she squealed and went upstairs for a moment, then came back down with Vinyl, who had a glass of cider with her.
"What gives Octa . . . OH, your that new creature that arrived her a while ago, now I remember." She realized, took a big gulp of the now empty cup in her magic aura, gave a big burp and tossed the glass, making it fly to the other side room and hiting the ground with a cartoonish 'SMASH.'
Octavia blushed in embarrassment at her friends behavior.
"Vinyl, at least TRY to be polite in front of him." Octavia said to her, Vinyl chuckled.
"What's wrong, am I embarrassing you in front of your, COLTFRIEND." She exclaimed with laughter.
Octavia blush was literally coming off of her.
I put on a french accent.
"No baby, I rather have you instead." I said, quickly lifting her hind hooves off the ground and her head close to it.
"R-really?" Vinyl asked with a blush, I chuckled as I put her down.
"No, I don't really want to be with anybody at the moment." I said, Octavia giggling at my show of display while Vinyl was trying to hide her growing blush at the way I treated her, failing at it.
"Alright." Octavia said after the giggles have stopped. "Lets here you sing." She said, both Octavia and Vinyl siting.
I made a new power to allow me to make invisible clones, after that, I had to explain to them of what I could do.
I coughed, closed my eyes to imagine myself alone and began to sing.
FUN: SOME NIGHTS
Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck
Some nights I call it a draw
Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle
Some nights I wish they'd just fall off
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Most nights I don't know anymore...
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?
Why don't we break the rules already?
I was never one to believe the hype
Save that for the black and white
I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked,
But here they come again to jack my style
That's alright (that's alright)
I found a martyr in my bed tonight
She stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am
Oh, who am I? Mmm... Mmm...
Well, some nights I wish that this all would end
'Cause I could use some friends for a change.
And some nights I'm scared you'll forget me again
Some nights I always win, I always win...
But I still wake up, I still see your ghost
Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Whoa oh oh (What do I stand for?)
Most nights I don't know... (oh, come on)
So this is it. I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my mom and dad for this?
(Come on)
No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that's all they are
When I hear songs, they sound like this one, so come on.
Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on!
Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again
Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands
This one is not for the folks at home;
Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go
Who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?
My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call "love"
When I look into my nephew's eyes...
Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...
Some terrible nights... ah...
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh,
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, whoa, oh, oh
The other night you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me
I called you up but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... Oh...
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance... Oh...
Once I finished singing, I opened my eyes to see a pair of big grinned mares.
"So, what do you guys think?" I asked.
"That. Was. AMAZING. THAT WAS THE BEST VOICE I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE, AND I'VE HEARD MANY!" Vinyl exclaimed giving me a big hug.
"I agree with Vinyl, for once, It was spectacular, you have an amazing voice Dylan." Octavia exclaimed, giving me a big hug as well, I smiled.
"Thank you, now, I've some Parasprites to stop." I said to them, walking out the door.
I went outside to find Pinkie leading the Parasprites to the forest.
"Guess I don't need these." I said to myself, tossing them into a near by dumpster and walking home for the night.
Chapter 25: The Main Six Meet Them All
After a while of thinking, I decided to show the Main Six the 'Meet Them All' video.
I'm gonna show them 'Team Fortress 2.'
"Alright guys, now, those of you who don't like blood, leave now." I said sternly.
Flutters left.
"Alright, after the video, give me your comments of what you think." I said to them, they nodded.
MEET THEM ALL
Meet the Scout questions/Comments:
"So, what did you think of Scout?" I asked them.
"Fast, and a big ego." Twilight answered.
"Sound familiar?" I asked, casually looking at Rainbow, she glared at me.
"I have no idea what you guys are talking about, Scout's amazing!" Rainbow exclaimed, spinning in the air.
"Ah thought he was annoying" AJ said, Rainbow rolled her eyes.
"I thought his outfit was TERRIBLE, red is just NOT his color." Rarity replied, we just rolled our eyes.
"WOW, THATWASAMAZINGHEWASGOINGZOOMANDWOOSHANDBONKA-" I stuck a hand over her mouth, I felt something wet touch my hand.
"Did you just lick my hand?" I asked, wiping the germs in her mane, the others 'EWWWWWW'D' at the same time.
"I have a question, how fast can he go?" Dash asked.
"Well, I don't know, but, he has a special type of drink I'll show you guys after, that allows him to go faster." I replied,
Meet the Soldier Questions/Comments:
"So, what did you think of the Soldier?" I asked.
"Scary!" Everypony replied.
"That's what I thought." I said.
Meet the Pyro Questions/Comments:
"What did you guys think of the Pyro?" I asked.
"He, she, or it, was strange, one minute it was violent, then the next, sunshine and rainbows." Twilight replied.
"But weren't the Rainbow's pretty?" Pinkie asked.
"Yes Pinkie." Everypony else and me replied in a deadpan.
Meet the Demoman Questions/Comments:
"What did you guys think of Demoman?" I asked.
"He could out drink Berry Punch anytime that's for sure." AJ replied.
"He was AWESOME, he could blow things up and cause awesome destruction!" Rainbow exclaimed.
"What happened to Demoman's eye?" Pinkie asked.
"Well that's a story for another time, its a long story." I replied.
They 'AWWWWWW'D', but got over it.
Meet the Heavy Questions/Comments:
"What did you guys think of Heavy?" I asked.
"He looked WAY stronger than 3 Big Macintosh's combined!" AJ exclaimed.
"He looks like he can take DOWN 3 Macintosh's combined." Dash said.
"He looked like he could be as tall as Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Alright, next one." I said to them.
Meet the Engineer Questions/Comments:
"So, what did you think of the Engineer?" I asked.
"Well, he was pretty smart, and good with machinery." Twilight said.
"Well, he invented a robotic hand." I said, Twilight looked surprised.
"A robotic body part, that's a good one." Twilight said, writing it down, everypony slid their chairs away from Twilight.
"Ah don't know why, but he seems to speak out to me, ah don't know why." AJ said.
"Maybe because he has the same accent as you." I responded.
She nodded
Meet the Medic Questions/Comments:
"What did you guys think of the Medic?" I asked.
"Insane!" Everypony but Twilight exclaimed.
"What are you guys talking about, he does experiments, just because he experiments, doesn't mean he's insane, and an almost instant healing machine, genius, AND, a way to make somepony invincible for a brief period of time is AMAZING!" Twilight exclaimed, quill scribbling on her papers like crazy.
"Whatever he did, made Scout look %21 cooler, that's right, I said 21, Deal With It." She said, putting on sun glasses.
Meet the Sniper Questions/Comments:
"What did you guys think of the Sniper?" I asked.
"Well, his PARENTS don't agree, but he does it anyway, breaking the rules." Twilight said, gagging at the words 'Breaking'
and 'Rules' being used in the same sentence.
"Well he DOES pay his respects atleast, even when he killed that 1 enemy." Rarity said.
"True." I said.
Meet the Spy Questions/Comments:
"What did you guys think of the Spy?" I asked.
"Such a Gentlecolt for somepony who kills for a living." Rarity said.
"Changing into somepony else, is he part Changeling?" Twilight asked, I shook my head.
"Alright guys, its time for me to ask each of you, who was your favorite?" I asked.
"Spy." Rarity said.
"Pyro." Pinkie said.
"Engineer." AJ said.
"Sniper." Twilight said. "I take back what I said, he may break the rules, but other then that, hes efficient."
"Scout." Dash said.
"Heavy." We heard a little voice whisper.
"Flutters?" I asked, looking at the door to find Flutters standing there.
"Yes, sorry if I wasn't suppose to come in, I hope your not made." Flutters said, I smiled.
"I'm proud of you Flutters, you watched an entire video full of death and violence." I said.
"I was scared at first, then I realized it wasn't real people getting hurt." She said.
"Why Heavy though?" I asked.
"Because, he may be big and scary, but maybe, there could be kindness in him somewhere." She said with a smile.
"Alright, Dash, let me show you Scout's soda." I said, she smiled.
I started up the game and selected Scout. I equipped the drink and drank it at spawn.
"I'm a freakin' blur here!" The Scout exclaimed.
"WOW, that IS fast." Dash said.
I'm surprised that she was surprised, your not really changing in speed that much.
Oh well, eventually the game ended and everypony left.
I jumped on my bed, and in a matter of seconds, I was asleep.
Chapter 26: Taking Care Of Derpy
Before I start, I would like to say that I got free time before I get back to my school work, so, I decided to make a few chapters for you guys, because I love you all, especially you, yeah you, you know who I'm talking about, but if you don't everyone assume I was talking to you guys. (See you tonight real person I'm talking about).
I woke up shivering.
I opened my eyes and looked out the window. Snow.
I don't mind snow, but I just didn't like the episode.
"Ugh, I'm going back to be-" I was cut off as something smashed through my roof, and landed on my bedroom floor.
Rainbow Dash.
"Ugh, oh, sorry about that Dill, I couldn't see anything, Spike threw a snowball, and it covered my face." She said shaking off the snow and pieces of wood, I frowned.
"D-d-d-do me a f-f-f-favor D-d-d-dash, d-d-ddunk Spike into f-f-f-freezing cold w-w-w-water." I said, shivering like mad.
"Will do." She said, zooming off. Man I love her.
I decided to try out a new power.
I thought of a way to summon to me or create something.
My whole body began to pain, but like always, it subdued.
I closed my eyes, put my hand out, and thought of a bundle of wood that would fit exactly into the hole, and it would magically stick.
After a few seconds, I felt weight in my hand, I opened my eyes, and there it was, I smiled.
"Perfect." I said to myself, as I placed it into the hole.
I went back into bed . . . only for something else to crash through my roof.
I looked at it.
Derpy Hooves.
"Ugh, oh, sorry Dill, didn't mean to." She said in her Derpy but cute voice, I could tell a snowball didn't make her crash into my roof.
"Its alright." I said, fixing the hole, she smiled.
"Wow, usually ponies are mad at me when I break stuff." She said sadly.
"Who could be made at a cute, Derpy, muffin lovin' pegasus as yourself?" I asked her, she smiled again, WAY bigger, Pinkie would be jealous.
"You think I'm cute?" She asked, with a blush, I picked her up bridle style.
"Cute as a button, your eyes are nice and beautiful." I said to her, she blushed more and hugged me.
"No pony has ever said such nice things to me, especially about my eyes." She said with a bigger grin.
"Well, I just did." I said. I put a hand behind my back, and summoned a certain treat for her. "Now, who wants a fresh out of the oven . . ." I pulled my hand back in front of her. "MUFFIN!" I exclaimed.
She jumped out of my arms, sat on the ground, and stuck her tongue out like a dog, making quick pants.
"You want the muffin girl?" I asked her as I pulled the muffin up higher, she jumped for it a few times, but couldn't get it.
"GO GET IT!" I shouted as I tossed it on my bed.
She zoomed off to my bed, Rainbow Dash speed, and ate the muffin in two seconds.
She let out a satisfied moan, I laughed.
"Did you just get an orgasm?" I asked her, she giggled.
"Who wouldn't get one, that muffin was, ORGASMIC!" She exclaimed, falling back onto my bed.
"FINALLY, somepony with my type of humor, everypony here has boring humor, your my second favorite pony." I said, hugging her.
"Second?" She asked, pretending to cry.
"Luna's my favorite, Her nights are . . . ORGASMIC!" I exclaimed, falling back onto my bed.
She giggled.
"Well, I think I should go now." She said, I chuckled.
"Don't eat TOO many orgasmic muffins, people will think your weird." I said, she smiled.
"Goodbye." She said, as she opened my window.
"Bye" I said back.
She jumped out, but didn't fly.
She did one flap, that's when I heard a sickening snap, and she fell and rolled down my hill.
I ran outside to find her slowly getting up, she looked awful.
Her right wing was at an angle, she had a black eye, she had cuts and bruises all over her body, her hair was messier then usual, and to top it off, she had bits and pieces of her coat gone.
"HOLY SHIT!" I exclaimed, putting her on my back, and running inside,
After a half hour of bandaging and cleaning her up, I set Derpy down in my bed.
"Derpy, what happened?" I asked her calmly.
"I was gonna fly out your window like you saw, but my wing was in pain the first flap I did." She said weakly, I frowned.
"You must of broke it when you crashed through my roof." I said.
"How long do you think it will be until I'm better?" She asked.
"Maybe two weeks." I answered, she smiled.
"Well at least I'm here with you." She said, giving me a weak hug.
"Alright, if you need anything, I'll be downstairs." I said, walking toward the stairs.
"WAIT!" She shouted, I turned to her. "C-can you stay in here with me." She said, slowly moving to the left side of my bed to make room for me, I smiled.
"Sure." I said, lying down next to her.
After a while of laying there in silence, she broke it.
"Dill?"
"Yes?" I asked.
"Thank's for patching me up and letting me stay." She said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
I smiled.
"No problem." I replied.
She wrapped her hooves around me, and in a few seconds, she started to quietly snore.
A while after, I fell asleep.
Chapter 27: The Nightmare 4
I woke up in my bed, except Derpy wasn't in it.
I heard weird moans coming from Discord's dream room.
I got off his couch and I walked toward his room, I opened door and couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Discord was getting it on with Celestia.
I decided to ruin the moment.
"Come on Discord, you can pump faster than that!" I exclaimed, they both jumped and looked in my direction.
"Uh, hey Dill, how's it going?" Discord asked liked nothing was happening.
"Its going good, the town got covered in Parasprites, I patched up Derpy after a nasty fall, and I just caught you and Celestia getting it on . . . pretty normal week." I said, sitting on the corner of the bed.
"M-my apologies for having you see me in this state Dylan, its just that, well I, you se-" I cut her off.
"Hey, as long as your enjoying yourself, then that's alright with me, now Discord, if you want to please your princess, pump faster." I said, before walking toward the door.
"Will do." He replied.
I left the room
After ten minutes, the door opened.
"So, how was it?" I asked, Discord chuckled while Celestia blushed.
"Marvelous Dylan!" He exclaimed.
"It was, well, oh who am I kidding, it was the BEST thing that's happened to me in years." Celestia said, I chuckled.
"I'msurprisedyoudidn'tgetmorepleasurefrommorelikelymolestingyourguards ANYWAY!" I exclaimed, Discord busted out with laughter while Celestia looked confused.
"You regret putting him in stone now?" I asked with a smirk, she smiled.
"Only ten percent." She answered.
"Good enough for me." Discord said.
"So Dylan, you and Discord are friends?" She asked, I smiled.
"Well yeah, and by the looks of it, so are you." I answered, she blushed again.
"Don't tell anypony about this, or I'll banish you to the moon." She said with a smile, I returned it.
"You know, I hear the moons a great place this time of year." I answered, she blushed more knowing what I was getting at.
"I'll find a way Dylan, I'll find a way." She said evily, I backed up a bit.
"WHOA WHOA, now I see why you gave up the elephants of harmony to somepony else." I said. "Especially kindness." I finished.
"Elephants?" She asked.
"Yeah, so what?" I asked, she just rolled her eyes.
"So, Dill, any other video games you can show me?" Discord asked, Celestia looked confused.
"Video games?"
"I'll show you." I said, walking toward my Xbox, and turned on Skyrim, where I left off.
I explained to her about the main plot of the game, and showed her my weapons and magic.
"I thought you said that you were the only human who could do magic." Celestia said.
"Video games can add anything that's not real, now, let me show you some of this games magic, lets practice on this Whiterun guard." I said, she watched as I cast a simple flame spell, engulfing the guard in flames, the princess looked horrified.
"Why is this game so violent?" She asked.
"Because I'm human, we like violent things." I said, shocking another guard with Sparks.
"Any other spells?" She asked.
"I can do this." I said, hitting the 'RB' button, and transforming into a werewolf, she looked shocked.
"How did you do that?" She asked.
"Now I know where Twilight gets the 'Many Questions Game' from, I got the blood of a werewolf." I said, she smiled sheepishly at what I said about the many questions game.
After about a half hour of Skyrim, I decided it was time to wake up.
"Alright I guess I should wake up now." I said, pulling out a gun.
"Alright, see you Dill." Discord said.
"I look forward to seeing you later Dylan." Celestia said.
"Oh before I go." I went up to Discord. "Did you pull out?" I asked.
"Yes." He replied, I sighed.
"Good." I said to his answer.
I took the gun and shot myself in the head.
Chapter 28: Call Of The Cutie Part 1
I woke up to the sound of sobbing.
I looked over to my left to see Derpy shaking me awake, crying.
"Please wake up Dill, please." She pleaded.
Must of slept all day yesterday.
"Ugh, I'm up." I said, tired.
She pulled me into a deep hug.
"Oh Dill, yesterday I woke up and you were still asleep, so I left you alone, but you've slept for 24 hours, it's ten A.M now." She said, tears running down her face again.
"I had a really funny dream, but you can't know what it was about, it's a secret." I answered, she kept hugging me.
"Just don't do it again." She said. Wiping away her tears, I frowned.
"I didn't think you would get THIS upset, besides, I can't control these dreams, but I'll try." I answered, she kept hugging me. "Uh, you can let got of me now." I said, trying to wiggle out of her grasp.
"I can't, I don't want you to sleep again for 24 hours." She answered, hugging me tighter.
I sighed, then teleported to the side of the bed, she looked around until she saw me.
"Sorry, but I have to be somewhere." I said, she frowned.
"Can I go with you?" She asked, I sighed.
"Sorry, but your too injured to go." I answered, she frowned, but nodded.
I decided to go get a muffin for Derpy when I get back, instead of creating one.
I asked for banana nut.
"Heh, banana nut." I said to myself.
After a nice walk, I bumped into Twilight.
"Hi Dill." Twilight said
"Hi Twilight." I said.
"Where were you yesterday?" Twilight asked.
"I had to patch Derpy up and look after her when she took a fall" I said, Twilight just rolled her eyes.
"That's Derpy." Twilight said.
I said goodbye to Twilight, and ended bumping into AppleBloom, she looked depressed.
"Hey AppleBloom, what's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing, its just that, everypony in mah class has their cutie mark, everypony but me." She answered.
"Aw, don't worry we'll help you." I said.
"Yah will, GREAT!" Bloom exclaimed
For her cutie mark, I decided that I'll help her with the thing that a lot of bronies think should be her cutie mark.
Building
"Alright Bloom, I want you to build a dollhouse with these materials." I said, giving her a hammer, nails, paints, glue, and wood.
"Why am ah building this?" She asked.
"Because, Its a test, I wanted you to try a random thing." I answered, she nodded and began to build
A HALF HOUR LATER
"Done!" Bloom exclaimed.
I turned around, and a huge grin came across my face
The Dollhouse was perfect.
"So, what do you think?" She asked.
"Awesome!" I exclaimed.
"Really, Dill, get we some more materials." Bloom said, I obliged.
A HALF HOUR LATER
"Done again!" Bloom shouted.
I turned, and I was shocked at what I saw.
The Dollhouse was like a [Doll]http://www.julianaheng.com/doll-houses-in-christmas-winterland/&docid=6Pwm9CVE3aE37M&imgurl=http://julianaheng.com/wp-content/images/SP\_A0467.jpg&w=320&h=240&ei=HiiaUu3uG4jboATtu4LoCA&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:2,s:0,i:85&iact=rc&page=1&tbnh=177&tbnw=231&start=0&ndsp=29&tx=105&ty=83]Doll](http://www.google.ca/imgres?hl=en&biw=1600&bih=775&tbm=isch&tbnid=3ixayjdYXuzsUM:&imgrefurl=[url=http://www.julianaheng.com/doll-houses-in-christmas-winterland/&docid=6Pwm9CVE3aE37M&imgurl=http://julianaheng.com/wp-content/images/SP_A0467.jpg&w=320&h=240&ei=HiiaUu3uG4jboATtu4LoCA&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:2,s:0,i:85&iact=rc&page=1&tbnh=177&tbnw=231&start=0&ndsp=29&tx=105&ty=83) Castle[/url].
"AppleBloom, this is just amazing!" I exclaimed.
All of a sudden, a shimmering came from Blooms flank.
We both gasped.
After the shimmering went away, we looked at the side of her flank, there, was her cutie mark.
(I'll explain what it looks like after).
After a while, we went over to Sweet Apple Acres.
"Hah guys, how's it going, oh bah the way, Twilight already told me what happened to Derpy." Applejack said.
"Alright Applejack, go get Big Mac and Granny Smith." I said, she nodded and walked off.
After five minutes of waiting, the Apple family was here.
"Alright Bloom, show them." I said.
She turned, then showed them.
They gasped, they looked really happy, Big Mac looked like he was about to cry.
"It means she's good at building." I said. "Show them Bloom."
She obliged, went over to a pile of wood, and began to build.
FIVE MINUTES LATER
She had built a small model of the barn, with every bit of detail.
"Wow, that's amazing!" AJ exclaimed.
"Hey Bloom, guess what, there are two more girls in your class who don't have their cutie marks." I said.
"Really, who are they?" She asked.
"I'll show you." I said.
Me and Bloom, went off.
Chapter 28: Call Of The Cutie Part 2
After a nice walk, we made it to Rarity's place, I knocked on the door, she answered a few second later.
"Ah, good afternoon Dill and Applebloom" Rarity said.
"Hi Rarity, Is Sweetie Belle here?" I asked.
"Yes, one moment." She said, walking off, then walking back with Sweetie Belle right next to her.
"Hah Sweetie Belle, mah name is Applebloom." Bloom said.
"Hi." Belle replied.
"So, Rarity, is it true that Sweetie Bell doesn't have a cutie mark?" I asked.
"Unfortunately, not yet, but I'm positive that she WILL get it soon!" Rarity exclaimed.
"Well, we CAN help with her cutie mark, is it ok?" I asked, she smiled.
"Sure, every bit of help will get her one step closer to getting it." Rarity answered, I smiled.
"That's great, come on Belle, lets go." I said, she obliged.
We said our goodbyes and went off.
So after walking further into PonyVille, we find a good open space.
I summoned a microphone with speakers and song lyrics.
Lyrics for the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic opening scene.
I turned on the microphone.
"Alright everypony, listen up, we're going to put on a show for you guys, Sweetie Belle here, is going to sing this song, its called, 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic,' ENJOY!" I said through the microphone, it seemed that everypony in PonyVille was there.
Sweetie Bell looked really nervous, but began to sing:
(Link To Song)
My Little Pony, My Little Pony. What is friendship all about?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony. Friendship is magic!
(My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be.
(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me.
When I was young, I was too busy to make any friends.
Such silliness did not seem worth the effort it expends;
But my little ponies, you opened up my eyes, and
Now the truth is crystal clear as splendid summer skies, and
It's such a wonderful surprise.
(My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be.
(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me.
When danger makes me want to hide, you'll RD to my side.
Kindness is never in short supply. Once smitten, twice Fluttershy.
For honesty no pony can deny: you are the Applejack of my eye.
A heart that shines so beautiful, a Rarity to come by,and
You all make fun and laughter, as easy as Pinkie Pie!
(My Little Pony) I used to wonder what friendship could be.
(My Little Pony) Until you all shared its magic with me.
Our friendship's magic and it's growing all the time.
A new adventure waits for us, each day is yours and mine.
We'll make it special every time! We'll make it special every time!
(My Little Pony) What a wonderful wonder friendship brings
(My Little Pony) Do you know you're all my very best
(Friends!) Friends, you're my very best) - 3x. (Friends!) Friends!
After she finished singing, everypony was applauding, well, stomping their hooves.
"I DID IT, I DID IT, I SANG IN FRONT EVERYPONY, AND THEY LOVED IT!" Sweetie Belle yelled, running toward me and jumping into my arms.
"Yes you did Sweetie Belle, Yes you di-" I was cut off as me, Bloom, and Belle heard a shimmering sound coming from the side of Belle's flank.
We looked at what it was, and I smiled.
Right there, was her cutie mark.
"OH MY GOODNESS, SWEETIE BELLE, THAT WAS AMAZING, AND YOU GOT YOUR CUTIE MARK!" Rarity exclaimed as walked away from the speakers and microphone.
"Thank you Rarity, I had some help from Dill." She said, I smiled.
"Thanks, I'm happy I could help." I said.
Rarity gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks for helping my sister." She said with a smile.
"Yeah, I also helped Applebloom, and there is one filly left, that amazing orange chicken, Scootaloo." I said.
"You just never stop helping." Rarity said, I nodded.
Me, Bloom, and Belle, both went off to find Scootaloo.
"Hey Dill, I'm getting kind of hungry." Bloom said said.
"Me too."Belle said.
"Me too, me too, me too." I said in different types of voices, they both giggled.
"Yeah, I'm getting kind of hungry too." I said.
I summoned some ice cream for Bloom, Belle and me.
I was about to take a lick of my ice cream, but a swift "breeze" knocked it out of my cone, and onto my face.
"I think I know who did that." I deadpanned.
We ran in the direction that the breeze came from.
After awhile, we found the source of the breeze.
Scootaloo with her scooter.
"Hey Scootaloo." I said to her.
"Hi Dill, I know you because of Pinkie, but how do you know me?" She asked.
"Pinkie." I lied.
"Ok, so, what's up." She said.
"Do you want help getting your cutie mark?" I asked, she smiled.
"Of course!" She exclaimed.
"Alright, how about you race, your role model, Rainbow Dash, on your scooter." I said, her jaw dropped.
"Y-You mean, I get to hang out with R-Rainbow Dash?" She asked, I nodded.
"AWESOME!" She exclaimed.
"Alright, let me bring her here." I said.
I thought about Rainbow appearing next to us.
After a second, she appeared.
She was . . . making out with a Soarin' doll.
"Wow Soarin', I didn't know you were such a good kisser, what's that?, you want to take this to the next level, ok." She said in a seductive tone.
She slowly moved the doll toward her crotch.
I coughed.
She looked at us, and quickly hid the doll under her pillow with a deep blush.
She coughed awkwardly. "So what's up." She said it like nothing had happened.
"Well, we're helping Scootaloo get her cutie mark, the first one was to race you, while she rides her scooter.
"Huh, well ok, but just warning you, I'm not going easy on you." Rainbow said, getting into a ready position.
Scoot's did the same.
"Alright, one, two, three, GO!" I called out.
They were off in a flash.
I turned invisible with the other two, flew into the air, and zoomed off after them.
I caught up to them with ease.
We saw that they were evenly matched.
But we saw that they weren't at full speed yet.
They were now fully in the zone, pushing forward as hard as they could.
But Rainbow was now passing her, then she zoomed off.
Scootaloo was at full speed, but couldn't catch up.
She looked sad, she started to slow down, thinking she couldn't catch up.
I turned visible.
"COME ON SCOOTALOO, MAKE RAINBOW DASH PROUD!" I shouted to her.
This seemed to work as she changed her sad face into a full focused face.
Focused Scootaloo, is Focused.
She started to go really fast, zooming forward, faster, and faster.
Until she managed to catch up to Rainbow, who looked like she was at full speed, but with Scoot's new goal of making Rainbow proud, Scootaloo wasn't.
We all saw the finish line.
Scoot's started to pass Rainbow Dash, going faster and faster, until finally, a current started to form around her, sparks started to form.
Until finally.
BOOM
She did it.
She broke the sound barrier.
A sonic boom.
A Sonic Chicken.
She zoomed forward, leaving a firey trail behind her.
I looked closely at her, the last thing I saw before she zoomed off, was a shimmering coming off of her flank.
I looked at Rainbow Dash, who had a look on her face, not of disappointment, but a proud look.
Eventually, we all crossed the finish line.
"I can't believe it, I did Four amazing things today, had the opportunity to race Rainbow Dash, did a sonic boom, BEAT Rainbow Dash, and got my CUTIE MARK!" Scoot's exclaimed.
"Nice going kid." Rainbow said.
"I couldn't have done it without Dill's help." Scoot's said, I smiled.
"I am happy I could help." I said.
"I'm not one for hugs, but." Scootaloo said before hugging me, and I could of sworn I felt a pair of lips touch my cheek.
"Alright, we should all head home now, I have some, uh, business to attend to." Dash said, before zooming off.
After a while, I ended up dropping off Scoot's, Belle, and Bloom at their homes.
I went up stairs, and to my bed.
I saw Derpy sleeping peacefully/
"Good night Derpy." I whispered to her.
The last things I thought of before going to sleep was the images of their Cutie Marks
(By the way, there is supposed to be a hammer on the right of the painting pallet, but it was the closest thing I could find).
Chapter 29: Showing Them Youtubers Part 1
I woke up the next morning, with a huge grin on my face.
I turned to Derpy, and shook her.
"Derpy, I know what we're gonna do today." I said to a sleepy looking Derpy.
In response, she hit me in the face with a pillow.
After a full hour, I eventually got The Main Six, Derpy, and the princesses to come over.
"Why do you need us here Dill." Twilight asked.
"I'm going to show you something else, you know that website I used to show you TF2?" I asked, the Main Six nodded, while the others just looked confused.
Twilight used the memory spell on them.
"I like the Medic, so helpful, creating things that can heal his friends." Celestia said.
"I like the Soldier, he's like me, so loud and commanding." Luna said.
"I like the Demo Man, he creates destruction, and people appreciate it." Derpy said.
"Now that that is settled, I'm going to show you my favorite Youtuber, Markiplier ." I said, they looked confused.
"Markiplier, who's that?" Rainbow asked.
"You'll see." I said. "The first video I will show you, will be called This Is Markiplier ." I said, as I hit play.
After the video, I turned to them.
"So, after watching that video, what do you think Mark will be like?" I asked.
"I think he will be well, loud, angry, full of himself." Twilight said.
"Well Twilight, he acts like that, but his real personality is amazing." I answered. "In fact, I'm gonna show you his 'Draw My Life ' video." I said.
I turned back to them, to see them with tears running down their faces.
"That is so sad, how does he manage to stay so happy all the time?" Rainbow asked.
"Easy, because of his fans, us fans will always support Mark, no matter what, and our support is what keeps him happy." I answered.
"Anything else?" Twilight asked.
"Yes, I'm gonna show you his lets play of 'SCP ,' more specifically, the 'My Little Pony Mod." I answered.
I turned back, to see horrified faces.
"W-was that really me?" Pinkie asked, I nodded.
"I didn't know I could be so . . . Creepy." Rainbow said.
"If you want creepy, read Cupcakes, sounds happy, its horrifying." I said. "Now, let me show you one more video, this one is called, 'The Fall Of Slenderman ." I said.
After the video, I heard giggling and laughing coming from behind me.
"That was hilarious." Rainbow said.
"It was pretty funny." Luna said.
"You bet your flank it was, now, I want to show you his 'Charity Live Stream Videos ." I said.
After 12 hours of hilarity, the videos were over.
"Well, its 10:00 at night now, I think its time for all of us to go home." Celestia said tiredly.
Everypony was trying to walk or teleport or fly, but they were too stiff and tired.
"Well, I guess you guys are staying here for tonight." I said. "Surprisingly, Pinkie is the first one asleep." I said, pointing at the sleeping pink mare.
After a few minutes, I got the extra blankets and pillows for everpony.
"Goodnight Everypony." I said.
"Goodnight." Everypony except Pinkie replied.
I eventually fell asleep
Chapter 30: Fall Weather Friends
Before we start this chapter, I would just like to say, I'm sorry.
Sorry that there haven't been any new chapters later.
I promised myself that I wouldn't be like any other writer, that it won't take me 6 years for 1 chapter.
So, now that that is out of the way, lets continue with our THIRTIETH CHAPTER, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Sorry, got excited there.
Anyway, lets have a go at it.
I woke up the next day, as normal. I looked up and saw that my room was not filled with ponies, well, except for two.
Why I say two, not one, well no reason, except for the fact that Derpy and Pinkie were holding onto both my arms, pining me down, it was kinda hard to look around.
I noticed that Pinkie was shaking violently, her hair was straight, and she was mumbling 'NO'.
"Pinkie?" I said, shaking her a bit.
Nothing.
I shook her a bit harder.
Nothing.
I was shaking her HARD now.
Nothing.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I slapped her.
Her head shot up, and she began to cry as she buried her head into my chest, her crying was enough to wake Derpy up.
"What's wrong with her?" Derpy asked tiredly, still holding onto my arm.
"Ahem." I said, shaking my arm a bit.
She quickly let go.
"Sorry." She said.
"I think she had a nightmare, of the SCP mod I showed you guys last night." I said, Pinkie slowly nodded into my chest.
"I-i-i-i-it was awful, every time Rainbow Dash b-b-b-blinked, I got c-c-closer, I couldn't control myself, the more I got closer, the more my arms would r-r-r-raise, until finally, when I was close enough, I snapped her neahhhhhhhhhhhck." She began sobbing again.
I looked over at Derpy, who had the same expression on her face.
Sadness.
"Pinkie, Rainbow is still alive." I said. "In fact, she and AppleJack are doing different competitions to see who is 'The Iron Pony', I think they would need two announcers to give it more action, you would be perfect." I said, her hair inflated, and her smile grew huge.
"YOUR RIGHT DILL, I WOULD BE PERFECT FOR A ANNOUNCER." She said in a announcers voice, before she zoomed off, two seconds later, she zoomed back in. "You said two, who's the other." She asked.
"Spike." I said
"Ok, SEE YA DILL, AND THANKS FOR CHEERING ME UP!" She said, giving me a smooch on the cheek, before zooming off.
"Awwww, that was sweet." Derpy said.
"I know, how awesome can I be?" I asked.
She hit me with a pillow, before going back to sleep.
I got out of bed, got dressed, then went out.
I arrived at the 'Running of the Leaves'.
I walked over to Twilight.
"Hello Dill." Twilight said to me.
"Hello." I said, conjuring a random number, putting it on my chest.
I looked over at Rainbow and AppleJack. Aj looked happy, while Rainbow looked shocked.
"Oh COME ON, DILL IS HERE, THERE'S NO POINT IN RACING NOW, HE'S GONNA BEAT US EASILY!" Rainbow shouted.
"Not today, Drama Queen, I'm not gonna use any powers in this race, instead, I'm gonna walk with Twilight, talk with her, get to know her a little more." I said.
Twilight walked up beside me to prove my point, they laughed when they saw Twilight.
"TWILIGHT, HAHAHA THAT IS HILARIOUS, TWILIGHT, IN A RACE FOR ATHLETIC PONIES, PAHLEASE!" She said, laughing, my ears hurt because of how loud she was.
"Whoa, turn your Caps Lock off, Twilight may be a book worm, but, I LOVE books too, do I look like a book worm to you?" I asked, Rainbows jaw dropped.
"Y-your an egghead, b-but, your SO cool, you have awesome powers, your funny, and you know how to pull pranks." She said, shocked.
"Well, they aren't educational books, but they are good either way, you'd be surprised how good books are." I said, Rainbow Dash just fainted, but she jumped up once Pinkie came on the mic.
"Alright everypony, lets get this started!" She shouted.
I saw Spike in the balloon with Pinkie, he was Glaring at me.
I mouth the words 'Sorry' to him, he just went back to the microphone.
Twilight saw that Spike was mad.
"What's wrong with him?" She asked.
"I told Pinkie that she should get a job as an announcer, Spike is not happy about it, because, you know, she's kinda, sorta, loud as hell." I said calmly.
"I would be mad at you to." She deadpanned, I nodded.
"3, 2, 1, GO!" Pinkie exclaimed, and as soon as she said 'GO', the racers zoomed off, except for me and Twilight, who just walked.
"So, Dill, how's your stay been in PonyVille?" Twilight asked.
"Its been good, I have a bunch of friends, I helped defeat Nightmare Moon, me Luna and Celestia got drunk, its been nice." I answered, Twilight froze.
"What was that last part?" She asked.
"Oh, me and the princesses were drinking what we thought was champagne, but Prince Bloodblood switched the labels, so it was really Vodka." I answered.
Twilight began to walk again.
"So, you and the princesses hung out together, if I were you, I would feel honored if I were you." She said.
"Eh, I've gotten drunk with a princess before." I said casually, Twilight's jaw dropped.
"Really?" She asked.
"Of course not, this is my first adventure, this might be my last adventure, right?" I asked, as me and Twilight slowly turned our heads toward YOU guys.
"Ouch!" We heard Pinkie exclaim, we looked over to Pinkie, who was holding onto her chest.
"What's wrong Pinkie." Twilight asked.
"I think someone just broke the forth wall, my chest hurts." She said.
"Pinkie Sense?" I asked, she nodded, before floating back to the front of the race.
"Lets not brake the forth wall again, agreed?" I asked, holding out my hand, she shook it.
"Agreed."
"Now lets see, do you want to here more about my world?" I asked, she nodded, before pulling out a quill and paper.
"Now, lets begin, I already told about what my planet was called, and explain what an iPod can do, I think I should tell you about the countries and population, now here on my iPod." I said, searching up world population clock. "Is what the population is doing, as you can see, a lot of death, more people being born then death, over 7 billion people in our world, now, I live in a country called Canada, basically, the second richest country in the world, America in first place, I grew up in a town named Glovertown, ever since I was born, to a few weeks ago, where I came here, now, we don't technically have a ruler, but there is a God, well, most people believe in him, but I won't go into religion right now, we don't control the weather, like the Everfree forest, the weather moves on its own, and we don't control the Sun or the Moon, Earth goes around the Sun, while the Moon goes around Earth, just like here, there are criminals, but there are a lot more criminals then here, and more dangerous too, we have metal carriages called Cars, except, there are no ponies pulling them, and no, no magic either, technology, this next part MAY sound ridiculous, but there are people called astronauts, who were sent to the moon." I said, Twilight gasped.
"Were Astronauts a gang who caused so much trouble, were banished to the moon?" Twilight asked.
"No, for exploration, you see there are a lot of curious people out there, some who want to know what's on the moon, others, like kids, getting porno magazines, teenagers trying drugs, even some people who would try killing other people, you see, our planet is messed up, but good at the same time, like yin and yang, there NEEDS to be balance, Balance, chaos, good, bad, there are opposites out there, God, Satan, Jesus Christ, the Anti Christ, left, right, up down, stuff like that, if there was no balance, we'd be doomed, if there was no balance, there would be chaos, no chaos, people would be so good, they might go insane, my point is, there needs to be a yin and yang out there, if not, were fucked." I said simply.
While talking, I managed to stare off into space, and didn't notice Twilight not writing anything.
"Twilight, you didn't write anything." I said, snapping out of my state.
"I didn't write anything, because I wanted my full attention on you, who needs to write this down, its so simple, we NEED balance." She said, I smiled.
"Now, lets focus on the race . . . HEY there's the finish line." I said.
We saw every racer panting and gasping OUTSIDE of the finish, they didn't cross, they were too tired.
Me and Twilight walked up to the finish.
"So, who's going to win?" She asked.
"Ladies first." I said, pointing toward the finish.
"No Dill, you cross, you deserve it, you taught me something important, it shouldn't always be nice, it should have some evil now and again." She said.
I smiled, I remembered a certain Princess being here.
"Twilight, did you know that Celestia is here?" I asked her, pointing toward the White Alicorn, talking with a guard.
As soon as she saw the Princess, she zoomed through the tape.
"THE WINNER IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" Spike called out through the mic, everypony in the audience cheered, the princess looked over at Twilight and me.
"Well Well Twilight, I thought you would be at home studying." Celestia said.
"No Princess, I went, but I walked the entire way, talking with Dill, who taught me a lesson about balance." Twilight said, pointing to me, I waved to them, my silver metal clinking in the process, then jogged over.
"Well Dill, Twilight said that you taught her a lesson about balance." Celestia said, I nodded.
"I taught her that there needs to be balance everywhere, if there was no balance, it would be chaotic, if there was no chaos, ponies and people would go insane because of the happiness, like Pinkie." I said, pointing toward the pink mare, shoving different kinds of cake down Spike's throat.
The princess smiled "Haha, anyway, what you have taught Twilight was important, there NEEDS to be balance." Celestia said. "Now Dill, I have a job for you, Twilight, this is private, could you please let me and Dill be alone?" The princess asked.
Twilight obliged, and walked away.
"Dill, this is very important." She said.
"Ok, what is it." I asked.
"I need you, to awaken Discord, I have news for him, news that I need to tell him in person, not in the dream land." She said.
"Alright, what's the news?" I asked.
She sighed. "Dill, you can't tell ANYpony, understand, not even my sister knows." She said.
"Alright, I promise, so, what is it." I asked.
"Dill, I'm pregnant."
Chapter 31: Discords Release
I woke up to the sound of knocking.
"Who could thaaaaaat be?" I asked in an obvious lying tone, but since it was a cartoon, she bought it.
"I don't know." She answered, her Derpy voice added on to it, so it made me want to facepalm.
"I'll get it, you lazy bones." I said, heading for the stairs.
She coughed before I could make it, I looked over at her, she was pointing to her nearly healed, but still in bad shape condition.
"Oh right, not lazy, but is a giant wimp and doesn't know how to punch pain in the face." I said, imitating something Markiplier would say, she responded by throwing a pillow at me, but just to make her feel better, I let it hit me.
So, I went down the stairs, and opened the door.
"Ah, good morning Dylan, we have been sent to bring you to Canterlot, so you can, ugh, wake up Discord." He said, gagging before he said 'wake up Discord'.
"Sure, lets go." I replied.
So we headed toward the chariot, we were half way there, when I felt a breeze, I looked down, and saw that I had nothing but underwear and shoes on.
"Eh." I shrugged, and continued to walk.
Shining opened the chariot door to allow me to get in.
I looked in, to see DayBreeze on the opposite side of the seat.
She smiled when she saw me.
"Yo whatup." She said, I smiled.
"Well, Yo whatup to you to." I replied.
After a nice conversation with DayBreeze, we made it to Canterlot.
We all stepped out of the chariot, I looked at the entrance of the castle, and saw the princesses exiting the castle.
"Good morning Dylan, are you ready?" Celestia asked, I smiled.
"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied.
"Dylan, have you had anything to eat?" Luna asked.
"No, but, I don't like the things you guys have to eat in this world, I'm not exactly a herbivore." I answered.
"So your a carnivore?" DayBreeze asked, slowly withdrawing her sword.
"No, I'm a omnivore, I eat meat, fruits, and vegetables, never horse meat, well, in this case, Unicorn, Pegasus, and Normal pony meat, that doesn't sound good." I answered.
"Hey, I'm sure I taste great." Daybreeze said, offended, I smiled.
"I'm sure you do." I replied, winking at her.
She backed away from everyone, blushing, while the other guards were snickering, even Luna had her mouth covered by her hoof.
"Well Breeze, you walked into that one." Shining said.
"I guess I did." She answered.
"So anyway, I am hungry, but you see, I'm kinda craving meat right now." I said.
"Your craving it?" Luna asked.
"Yes, be right back." I answered, flying to the top of the castle.
Once I made it to the top, I conjured a pork chop, and ate it as fast as Steve does in Minecraft, then went back down to them.
"That was good." I said.
"That was fast" Luna said.
"I'm a fast eater." I replied. "Now, lets go." I said.
After a short walk, we made it to the garden, where Discord's statue lay.
"Whoa, he seems pretty happy." I said, pointing at his statue.
"Yes, he was a fool, and thought the Elements weren't going to work, so he started to laugh at us." Celestia answered.
"So, how do I do this?" I asked.
"In order for this to work, the Harmony Angel, that's you, has to cause some chaos." Celestia said, I gave them a confused look.
"But, uh, you guys do know me, right, that's all I ever do." I said.
"It isn't enough though." Celestia answered.
I began to laugh maniacally, everyone backed away slowly.
"Uh, Dill?" DayBreeze whimpered out, I ignored her.
"Cause more chaos, huh?" I asked.
"Luna, what have I done?" Celestia asked Luna.
I turned to face the princesses, put two hands behind my back, summoned two pies, and teleported behind them.
"Where'd he go?" Celestia asked.
"Right here." I said, they turned, and I smashed the pies right in their face.
I looked at the statue, and saw a medium sized crack in it.
I teleported above DayBreeze, summoned two bags full of flour and sugar, and dumped them on her.
I looked at the statue, everywhere on the statue had a crack on it.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Dylan, kick my flank." Luna said, raising it high in the air.
"With pleasure."" I said, turning my shoe into a metal shoe.
"Oh no." Luna said, bracing herself.
I flew at a almost sound breaking speed, brought back my foot, and . . .
WONK!
Luna was sent flying, right into the castle wall.
I started to laugh maniacally again.
"Come on Discord, come on out and play." I said with a big smile.
The ground started to shake, Luna got up, and ran to hide behind her sister
The statue started to crumble, bits and pieces fell off the statue.
After a minute, the ground stopped shaking, and all the pieces fell off.
There, in place of the statue, was Discord.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Chapter 32: Showing Them Brony Items
Chapter 32: Showing Them Brony Items
"Who's the fool that released me from this stone prison?" Discord asked.
I coughed.
"OH, Dill, how's it going bu-, OH, what's with the new fashion sense?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Your in your underwear." He deadpanned.
"So?, nopony wears clothing, besides, I forgot to get dressed." I said, he just smiled.
"Well, you know what they say, rock out with your co-" He was cut off by Breeze.
"Uh, Dill, you know him?" She asked.
"Know him, hes my best friend, he loves chaos, he LIKES my humor, he likes what's in my mind, he doesn't get mad at me when I'm too chaotic, what's a better friend than that?" I asked.
"Well, here in Equestria, all our friends don't cause destruction, or chaos, we smile, play, dance, sing, celebrate things, stuff like that, wait, I just thought of something, if you like chaos, and we love balance, why are you friends with us?" Breeze asked.
"First of all, I'm not chaotic ALL the time, second of all, I don't think I want to be enemies with a princess who, banished her sister to the moon, put a guy in stone, and put a King in a hole, maybe be able to do three, banish me in a stone prison, and put me in a hole on the moon, even if I CAN take her down with my power, man, I just realized that the princess had a rough time 1,000 years ago." I answered.
"Alright everyone, I will tell you all my Big News at dinner, which should be ready now." Celestia said, Discord looked confused.
"Big News, what do you mean?" Discord asked.
"Well, its News, that's very Big, and it involves you, like a lot." I answered.
So, we all started to head to the dining room, I was in the back, when Luna started to walk backwards towards me.
"Hey, um, Dill, Discord said that your in your underwear, what's that?" She asked.
"Underwear is something that we humans wear under our clothes, because, we don't have things that help us hide our, uh, private parts like Stallions do." I answered, she nodded.
"So, under there, is your . . ."
"Yes, it is." I answered.
"Good to know." She said.
I found that conversation weird, but what REALLY unnerved me, was that I saw a smile grow on Luna's face, as her eyes kept locked on my 'Target.'
What was she up to, find out next time on, Pony Ball Z. (Ok, I'm not really ending the chapter there, but hey, someone make Pony Ball Z happen).
So we all went into the dining room eventually, even though I ate, I was still hungry, and even though they didn't like it, they got me more meat.
Being the Energy Drink loving and Pony loving guy I was, I summoned a Rainbow Dash Energy Drink (Yes they make those).
Celestia looked at it funny.
"Uh, Dylan, why does your drink have a picture of The Element of Loyalty on it?" She asked.
"Well, I WAS gonna tell you about it later, but, why not." I said, Everyone looked at me.
I coughed.
"So, I have a picture of Rainbow Dash on it, because, I am a Brony, a Brony is someone who is fascinated with you guys, there are people who like different ponies, like my favorite pony is Luna, some people like Celestia, or Twilight, or Applejack, or ANYONE in Equestria, there are people who like the villiains, like Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, or even Sombra, if you were a guy and you liked the ponies, you were a Brony, if you were a girl, you were a Pega-Sister, we made lots of everyday materials into Brony related stuff, shirts, drinks, even posters, fanfictions." I explained.
"Fanfictions?" Celestia asked.
"Yes, Fanfictions, people of the Fandom would write stories of your lives, make up their own adventures of your lives, some were funny, some were well done, some were epic, some were dark and gory, and some, ugh, clopfics." I said, gagging a little.
"Clopfics?" Luna asked.
"Yes, Clopfics, Clopfics are stories that cloppers would write, cloppers were Bronies who, ugh, masturbated to you guys." I said.
"They what?" Breeze asked.
"Yep, you heard me right, but not just to your normal lives, people make pictures of you guys, a lot were awesome, some were gory, and some, clop pictures, I mean, look at this." I said, summoning a picture of Pony Porn.
Everyone stared at it.
"Is that my . . ." Luna asked.
"Am I doing that?" Shining asked.
"And why am I . . .?" Celestia asked.
I looked around the room, some were disgusted, and some were . . . aroused?
I saw Celestia smile a bit, Shining couldn't stop staring with goofy smile on his face, and Breeze, looked like she wanted to be in that picture, and Discord gave a 'Not Bad' face to Shining.
I saw Luna looking away, with a look of disgust on her face.
"If you think that's bad Luna, you should see the pictures of you and your sister." I said, summoning a picture of them, and put it on the table.
Luna looked like she wanted to throw up, that's why she's my favorite, Celestia's smile was bigger now, Shining looked like he wanted that picture hung up above his bed, and Breeze looked like . . . I'm not even gonna say what she looked like, and Discord looked like he wanted to listen to the saying 'When in doubt, whip it out'.
"Ok, ok, that's enough." I said, making the pictures disappear.
Most Aw'd, but the rest sighed with relief.
"Well that was . . . kinda of weird to show at the table, and . . . OH WHO AM I KIDDING, that was the sexiest stuff I have seen In my life, and that's a long time." Discord said, the ponies who liked it nodded their heads.
"Come on Dill, show us more." Breeze said with a crazed look in her eye.
"Yeah Dill, show us more." Shining said.
Everyone who liked it, which was most of the ponies in the room, chanted for me to show them.
Only a few of Celestia's guards and Luna said no.
I sighed. "Do I have to?" I asked, Group Y, (Y EQUALS YES), nodded
"Psssst, Dill." I heard, I looked over, to see Luna waving slightly at me.
"What?" I asked.
"After you finish showing them, ugh, pony porn, and my sister finishes her announcement, want to look at the stars and hang out together, you know, like friends." She asked, I smiled.
"I would love to." I said.
"Ok, Group Y, stay, Group N, go." I said, Group N left.
"Alright you horny bitches, you guys can keep these." I said, summoning a HUGE stack of pony porn, I could feel everyone staring at me, waiting for me to toss them.
I tossed them all in the air, and teleported outside of the room right next to Luna.
"That was quick." Luna said.
"I just tossed the pictures into the air saying that they could keep them, they disgust me." I mumbled the last bit.
"How long do we have to wait?" Luna asked.
"Well for me, two seconds, because I'm gonna make a 'Time Warping Power'." I said, Power Pain going through my entire body.
"Alright, grab my hand so we can both go farther into time." I said.
She slowly got onto her hind hooves, and put her right front hoof into my hand.
I noticed her face going red a bit.
"Hey, is it hard to stand on your hind legs, your face is getting kind of red?" I asked.
"Uh, y-yeah, that's why my face is going red, its really hard to do this." She stuttered.
"Ok, get ready." I said. "Three, two, one, go." I said, activating my power.
So after two seconds of standing still, we made it farther in time.
"Alright, everyone should all be calmed down now." I said, peeping in, sure enough, we saw the last few ponies sit down.
"Come on Group N." We heard Celestia call out.
All of Group N walked in and sat down.
"So, are you ready to tell u- UGH, what is that smell." I asked, plugging my nose.
"NOTHING!" Group N heard Group Y yell in unison.
"Ugh, masturbating, I knew that wasn't dressing coming from Shining's seat to the other end of the room." I said, Shining smiled sheepishly.
"What can I say, Stallions have a far range." He said, I just facepalmed.
"Didn't need to know that." I said.
"And what's with the water dripping from Breeze's seat." Luna asked.
"ALRIGHT, Celestia has some news to share with us, only Dill know's." Breeze said, entire face red.
"Alright, anyway, Discord, we have brought you out of your stone prison because this involves you a lot." Celestia said.
"Alright, lay it on me, I can handle it." Discord said.
"Everyone, I'm pregnant." She said, Discord fainted.
"Well, he reacted to it the exact same way I expected him to." I said.
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Chapter 33: A Peaceful Night With Luna (UPDATED)
SO, I reread this when I WASN'T drunk off of energy drinks, I HATED my drunken plot, too rushed, and stupid, so, here's a new part, a MORE relaxed one.
It was 9:00 P.M, and it was time for Luna to raise the moon.
I went over to Celestia, to see if Discord had waken up yet.
"So, how long do you think he'll be out?" I asked.
"He should be up in the morning, guess I shouldn't have laid the News on him that hard." She said, looking sad.
"Its not your fault Celestia, its not that you laid the News on him to hard, its just him acting like a man, a man hears the word pregnant from his girlfriend or wife, and he freaks out." I said, she just smiled and gave me a hug.
"Thank's for trying to cheer me up." She said, I smiled back at her.
We were standing there, hugging for 5 minutes, when Luna entered the room.
"Hey Dill, are you ready to take up my offer of looking at the stars with m-, oh, am I interrupting something?" She asked.
"Of course not Luna, go on Dylan, don't want to keep a princess waiting." Celestia said, I nodded and went over to Luna.
We started to walk over to the balcony, when we heard Celestia call out.
"Hope you lovebirds have a wonderful time!" She called out, I rolled my eyes, while Luna's face went red.
Once we made it to the balcony, we both sat down.
I noticed a golden aura surrounding the Sun as it lowered.
I looked up at Luna, she closed her eyes as her horn started to glow. In the show, it just looked like her horn glowed up, and the moon would raise, but up close, was majestic.
We were both taken by whiteness, all I saw was white, I looked over at Luna, who still had her eyes closed, a smile crept on her face as her horn glowed brighter, then, everything went back to normal, all the whiteness, was gone.
But what made me keep my smile, was that the moon was full and bright, stars started to appear, I looked down onto Canterlot to see ponies lights go out, kids and adults going inside, I saw a couple kissing by a lake where the moon shimmered on the lake, it was beautiful.
I saw Luna start to open her eyes.
"Wow." Was all I could really say, she smiled.
"Thank you." She whispered.
I looked back up at the moon, the moons whiteness looked the same as the one were were taken by, a realization washed over me.
"Luna, were we . . . were we inside the moon?" I asked, she nodded.
"Only our souls, my soul is connected to many things, but the moon, is the fourth best, next to my sister, my mom and dad." She said.
"Then, if your soul is connected to the moon, why was I able to see inside?" I asked.
"Well Dill, a thousand years ago, when our last Harmony Angel was here, he used to help me lower or raise the moon, same with my sister and the sun, so, your connected to the sun and the moon, without him, me and my sister tire, when we lower or raise the moon, the last Harmony Angel was a good friend." She said, a tear running down her face.
"Wait, what happened to the last Harmony Angel?" I asked.
"You already met him." She said, I was confused.
"I did?" I asked.
"Yes, Discord, Discord used to be the Harmony Angel, but one day, his heart was consumed by complete and utter chaos." She said, another tear run down her face.
Seeing someone cry would make me want to tell them to stop being such a baby, but to see Luna, my favorite pony cry, made me want to cry, but I tried to be strong for her.
"That's too bad, what did you do to try to stop it?" I asked, she let a few more tears stream down her cheek.
"Nothing, we couldn't do anything, we didn't know what to do." She answered.
"But, you two are the most powerful beings in this world." I said.
"We are, but, chaos is too complex for ANY type of magic." She answered. "You see, a LONG time ago, Discord's personality was a lot like yours, fun, charming, but chaotic, but each day, he became more and more chaotic, his chaotic personality was taking over his others." She explained.
"So there's a chance that I could be Discord the second?" I asked.
"Yes, there's a chance, that's why I called you out here, to say this, I CARE about you Dill, not JUST because of the chance of changing, but as a friend, I CARE as a friend, a friend who worries about you, a friend that will give help when needed." She said.
"Wait, why did you call me in private, if you wanted to say I was important to you?" I asked.
"Well, less noise so you can hear me loud and clear, and in such a perfect place, plus." She said this next part looking away, pouting. "My sister would tease me about me caring, say that your my new 'Special Somepony." I chuckled.
"Well, thank's for caring about me, even though I may SEEM that I'm not afraid of anything, I am though." I said, she seemed surprised.
"You are?" She asked, I nodded.
"I'm scared of losing my friends, my family, things that are close to me, and, bees." I said plainly, she giggled.
"Bees?" She asked.
I smiled. "Terrified." I said simply.
After that, she couldn't stop giggling. "Bees, HA!" She said, I rolled my eyes, but smiled.
After she stopped giggling, we both went silent as we looked up at the stars.
I thought about our conversation, and couldn't stop thinking about losing my friends or family.
I would hate to lose them. I felt more glum the more I thought about it, but then I remembered something.
A song.
Thinking about the song made me calm down, I began to sing, but not too loud.
(Link To The Song )
Careful with what you love the most
'Cause it could disappear tomorrow
The secret to finding happiness
Lies nowhere else but in your soul
So now that you're back from paradise
Was everything really all that nice
Forget all the things that made you blessed
Remind yourself why you even left
The fact that you're standing here with me
The fact you can breathe and feel and see
The everyday miracles you miss
Every moment comes down to this
Careful with what you love the most
'Cause it could disappear tomorrow
The secret to finding happiness
Lies nowhere else but in your soul
You know the closer you get to something
The tougher it is to see it
And I'll never take it for granted
So go on ahead and chase your dreams
And don't give up when God stops giving
Don't let your life just pass you by
But don't forget it's for living
I'll let the hope you gave me show the way
With the courage to conquer every day
And I'll never take it for granted
Let's go
After I finished the song, I looked over at Luna, she was looking up at the moon, smiling, but a few tears got out.
"Dylan, that was beautiful." I heard a voice behind me, I turned around and saw Celestia and Discord standing there, I smiled.
"Thank's." I answered.
"Tia, how long have you been sitting there?" Luna asked.
"The entire time." She answered. "I didn't want Dylan here, "Try" anything." She said.
"Tia!" Luna exclaimed angrily, with a blush, I laughed.
"Don't worry Celestia, I wouldn't try anything, I see the Manliest man in the world is here." I said, looking at him, he smiled sheepishly.
"I'm sorry if I took the news so shocking, I didn't expect THAT." He said.
"What are you gonna name it?" I asked.
"Its gonna be a girl, and her name is gonna be-"
"WAIT, don't tell me, I want the audience to decide." I said, they looked confused, except Discord.
"Yes, let the audience decide." He said, winking at me.
"Audience?" They both asked.
"Never mind, just let "Me" decide." I said.
"Ahhhh Dill, so random." Celestia said, shaking her head. "I think its time for us to sleep." Celestia said, motioning us to the bedrooms.
So, everyone went to their proper beds, except for Luna, who stayed out on the balcony.
I went over to my bed, and jumped.
Landed right in the coziness.
It was soft and cozy.
I was about to go to sleep, when my door opened a little, I pushed my head up, to see Luna.
"Hey Luna, what are you doing in here?" I asked her.
She didn't respond, instead, leaned over, and gave me a hug, and a kiss on the cheek.
"Good night Dill." She said calmly, but even in the darkness, I saw her cheeks turn red.
"Good night Luna."
Chapter 34: A Sleep Over With The Mane Six
This chapter is ALSO a little laid back, I wasn't really in the mood to write something like, "I WENT UP TO A RANDOM PONY, AND SHOT IT IN THE FACE", I wanted to, kick back, and relax with another 'LBC' (LAID BACK CHAPTER), SO, hope you enjoy.
I woke up in darkness, I was about to say hi to Discord, but then I realized that I was in the guest room I fell asleep in. I walked out of the guest room, to see a bunch of guards lined up against the wall on the left of my room, and the right. I saw the Luna making her way to the kitchen, I went up to her and greeted her.
"Hi Luna, what time is it?" I asked.
"Its 7:30 PM." She replied, my eyes widened.
"7:30, why didn't anypony wake me?" I asked.
"Well, I was, but then I saw how cute you are when you sleep." She said.
"What?"
"What?"
"Anyway, since its late, I feel like doing something exciting to get back to PonyVille." I said. "Tell Celestia I said bye!" I called to her as I ran up the stairs toward the roof.
I was halfway up the stairs to the roof, when I saw Discord appear in front of me, he made the stairs out of Sticky Bombs, so, I did what ANY NORMAL HUMAN BEING would do, I drank a can of BONK! Atomic Punch that I conjured, and gulped it all down, once I finished, I ran up the stairs MUCH FASTER. He activated the Sticky Bombs, but when they exploded, they sent me flying upwards.
"HEY I'M FLYING!" I called out to him, he chuckled to himself.
By the time BONK! wore off, I was at the top of the stairs. I opened the door to the castle roof to see Discord sun bathing.
"Hey Dill, how were the explosions I got from the Scottish Resistance?" He asked, pulling down his sunglasses a bit.
"Didn't hurt." I replied, giving him a thumbs up.
"Ok, where are you going?" He asked.
"I'm gonna go back to PonyVille, the same way I entered it, hopping from building to building." I answered, getting ready to jump to the next roof.
"Alright, I guess I'll catch you later." He said, giving me a Sticky Jumper, with sticky bombs that will only damage your enemies, and not you or your teammates.
I shot two, because that's ALL that I would need, I saluted to Discord, before shouting.
"KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
And with that, I was sent flying, and OH BOY I was up high, I was sent far and high, I went so far, I was sent ALL the way to Rarity's shop's roof. I looked down from her roof, to see her with multiple bags, heading toward Twilight's.
I called down from her roof. "HEY RARITY!" She looked around confused.
"UP HERE!" I shouted, she looked up and saw me on her roof.
"DILL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY ROOF!?" She called back.
I jumped down to her level.
"Well, this thing I'm holding here, is called the Sticky Jumper, I was launched here from Canterlot castle's roof." I explained, she looked surprised.
"THAT THING, shot you from CANTERLOT!?" She exclaimed, I nodded.
"So, where you headed?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm heading to Twilight's, after a successful fashion show, we decided to have another sleepover, over Twilight's again, this time with the rest of us, even RAINBOW DASH is coming." She said, I smiled.
"I would probably ask this if I was kid, because I would be wondering what a girl does at a sleepover, but, can I join?" I asked.
"Why of course, this time its NOT a girls only party." She replied.
"Alright, get on my back." I said, loading my Sticky Jumper.
"Why?" She asked.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine." I answered, she obliged, and jumped on my back.
I shot two more sticky bombs at my feet.
"Ready?" I asked, she nodded.
"KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
After a nice flight, we made down to Twilight's place, we landed softly.
"Wow, I'm surprised, that was fun, and I didn't even get dirty." She said.
We walked up to the door, Rarity was about to knock, but I stopped her.
"Its a library." I said.
"Oh, right." She said, opening the door.
We walked in, to see Twilight, Spike, and Fluttershy talking to each other, Pinkie looking HUNGRILY at the food, and Rainbow and Applejack arguing about something. They all stopped when they heard the bell ring above the door, Twilight was the first to greet us.
"Hello Rarity, hi Dill." She said. "We're just waiting to get settled in, while your waiting, you can just go around and mingle."
Me and Rarity nodded, and split off.
I went over to Pinkie.
"Hey Pinkie." I greeted.
"OHMYGOSHDILLIHAVEN'TSEENYOUFORALONGTIMEIDON'NKNOWHOWLONGITSBEENONEDAYTWODAYSTHREEDAYSBUTIMSOOOOOOOOOOOEXCITEDTOSEEYOU!" She said excitedly.
I got right up into her face and began to speak fast and excitedly like her."YOUREXCITED?" I asked.
"IMISSEDYOUIHAVEN'TSEENYOUEITHERSOITSLIKEWEHAVEN'TSEENEACHOTHERFORAWHILEIWASSADBECAUSEYOUALWAYSMADEMEHAPPYANDYOURONEOFMYBESTESFRIENDSINTHEWHOLEENTIREWORLD!" Pinkie let out a big gasp, then fainted.
"Gotcha." I said quietly.
I turned around, to my surprise, no one had even seen that scene unfold.
I walked over to Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
"I'm pretty sure I'm stronger than you." Dash said in a matter of fact tone.
"Do YOU buck apples for a living?" She asked. "Didn't think so."
"But I TRAIN everyday, for the Wonderbolts, I work out everyday, and, A LOT of things have happened lately that HELP that routine." She argued.
"Girls, please, your acting a lot like little fillies." I cut in.
"Your right Dill." They both said.
"Good, because we can ALL agree, that Applejack is the strongest." I said.
"WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
"Thank you Dill, FINALLY, somepony with a bit of common sense." She replied.
"I mean, you've been working on a apple farm MOST of your life, if you can't knock over the library with one buck, I will blow my head off with The Ambassador." I said.
"Who even uses that, 'gun', anyway?" Applejack asked.
"The Spy." I answered.
"How any weapons does he have?" Dash asked.
"I'll tell you what weapons they all have later." I said, she nodded, and walked away.
"Thank you for that distraction Dill, I was getting tired of that argument." Applejack said.
"I was too, now I'm off to mingle with somepony else." I said, walking toward Spike.
I went up to Spike, who was talking to Rarity, much to my surprise, he didn't show ANY signs of even liking her.
"Hi guys." I said, Spike smiled.
"Hey Dill, we were just talking about you." He said.
"Really, about what?" I asked.
"We were wondering when your birthday was." He said.
All of a sudden, the fainted Pinkie Pie shot up, and ran over.
"Yeah Dill, when's your birthday?" She asked.
"August 22nd." I said. (MY REAL LIFE BIRTHDAY, HINT HINT).
"That's only a couple of months from now." Pinkie said. "What kind of cake do you want, OH, what type of style do you want for your party, OH, where do you want it to be held!" She asked too many questions for my liking, so I answered really fast again.
"IWANTACHOCOLATECAKEIWANTANORMALSTYLEPARTYANDIWANTITTOBEHELDATSUGARCUBECORNER!" I answered quickly, she gave a big gasp again, then fainted.
"That's ONE way to make Pinkie be quiet." Spike said.
"Yup." I said.
"Alright everyone, lets start this sleepover!" Twilight exclaimed, everyone including me cheered.
"Alright, this is actually my FIRST sleepover, so, how would one start?" I asked.
"That's simple, like this." Rainbow said, hitting me in the face with a pillow.
"That's a nice way, NOW, lets have teams, you know, I don't want to kicking ALL of your flanks." I said.
After I conjured a bunch of pillows, we made our forts, and set our teams.
Me, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy against, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight.
"ALRIGHT, BOTH SIDES READY!" I shouted.
"Yes!" Everyone else called back, except Flutters, who gave a quiet 'Yes'.
"Let the PILLOW FIGHT, BEGIN!" I shouted, and everyone was off.
Ponies and a dragon were throwing pillows at each other. Twilight actually conjured a bomb FULL of pillows, and tossed it at us. It exploded, me and Pink's were the only ones fast enough to dodge, Rainbow dodged all of the pillows of the bomb, but was hit by a pillow sent by Rarity.
"Are you just gonna let them do that to us?" Pinkie and Rainbow asked, Rainbow still recovering from the surprise pillow.
"No." I said, summoning the Soldiers helmet, I then summoned a machine gun FILLED to the rim with pillows.
"Its time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum." I said, cocking my machine gun.
"LAST ONE ALIVE LOCK THE DOOR!" I shouted, charging in.
I shot load after load of pillows, one hit Spike dead in the face, three hit Applejack in the side, and one small pillow the size of Twilight's horn at Rarity. Everyone one the opposite team was down except for Twilight, who used a force field. She sent out a shock wave of pillows, that hit everyone on my team except for me.
I tossed my machine gun, and cracked my fingers.
"Lets settle this like Gentleponies." I said, picking up a pillow from the ground.
"Agreed." Twilight said, picking one up with her magic.
"Get her Dill!" Rainbow shouted at me.
"Kick his butt Twilight!" Spike shouted at her.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!" We both let out a battle call, then ran for each other.
I jumped over Twilight as we ran, and hit her back, making her fall on her side.
"You were good Soldier, real good, maybe even the best." I said, Twilight nodded, pulling her head back, ready for the hit.
I pulled my pillow back . . . just to get hit from behind by Rarity's pillow.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rainbow and Pinkie exclaimed.
"You were good kid, real good, but as long as I'm here you'll always be second best." She said.
"Well, that was fun." Rainbow said.
"Yeah it was!" I exclaimed.
"Alright, who's up for a little, spin the bottle." Rainbow said, game face on.
Everyone cheered but me and Flutters.
"Um, I don't know." She said quietly.
"I'll do it, but won't like it." I said.
I conjured a bottle, and laid it down.
"Alright, we're gonna make this a little different, if the bottle lands on someone, whoever spun it, has to dare that pony to do ANYTHING." Rainbow said.
"Alright, MUCH better." I said, Flutters STILL looked unsure.
"Uh, I'm still kinda nervous." She said.
"Don't worry, no one in their right mind would dare YOU to do something crazy." I said, everyone nodded.
"Good." She said.
So, everyone sat down around the bottle, since it was Rainbow's idea, she went first. She put her hoof on the bottle, and spun it.
Of course, luck would have it, it landed on ME, GREAT.
"Alright Dill, I dare YOU, to go up to someone in this room, and sing a part of an embarrassing song to them." She dared.
I thought for a moment, and thought of THE PERFECT SONG, Lonely Island, Jizz In My Pants, first part. I went up to Applejack, and began to sing.
"Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
The whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
This really never happens you can take my word
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
And now I
JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Don't tell your friends or I'll say your a slut
Plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
Now I'll go home and change" I sang, everyone in the room busted out with laughter except Applejack, who looked shocked, and a bit embarrassed.
"That was, uh, something." Applejack said.
"Yeah, are you not turned on?" I asked lustly, she blushed while everyone in the room giggled.
After that, we played sin the bottle for a while, I'll just skip most of it, because, all of the dares were girly or too childish, but, here's that last one that we did, which just so happened to be the most interesting.
Pinkie spun it, and it landed on Rainbow.
"OOOOOOOOOOOH, I KNOW THE PERFECT ONE, RAINBOW, I DARE YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH DILL, FOR TWO MINUTES!" She exclaimed.
"Whaaaaaaaaa?" I asked, while everyone else excluding Rainbow, let out an oooooooooooooooh.
"Uh Pinkie, isn't that a little TOO extreme, I mean, we are friends." Rainbow said.
"A dares a dare Rainbow Dash." Pinkie said, everyone else nodded.
"Ugh fine, pucker up lover boy." She deadpanned.
"Alright, Skittles." I said, she shot me a confused look, I summoned a bag of skittles.
"TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHER FOOPER!" I exclaimed, shoving one in her mouth.
"MMMMMM, these are good." She said.
"Yeah, hope that's what I taste." I said, puckering up.
We both puckered up, and inched closer to each other, until finally, they touched, and it felt WEEEEEEEEIRD.
I won't talk about the ENTIRE kiss, but let me tell you, she didn't taste like skittles, minty though.
After two minutes of making to the out, I finally backed up, Rainbow was blushing, everyone in the room was giggling, I wanted to, well, sleep, I felt kinda tired.
"Ugh, I'm going to bed, if you need me, I'll be dreaming about ponies." I said, getting up, and plopping down on a random sleeping bag.
"Uh, Dill, that's mah sleeping bag." Applejack said.
"Meh." I replied, waving my hand at her, I then went to bed.
After a few hours of sleeping, I woke up to something poking me. I turned over to see Rainbow.
"Hey, what's up." I said tiredly.
"Hey Dill, you remember that kiss we did?" She asked.
"Yes Rainbow, it didn't mean anything, and we can continue being friends." I answered.
"Yeah, sure, that's it." She answered, and little sad.
I fell asleep after that.
"My name is Dylan Hunt, but you can call me Dylan or Dill. I'm 31, and, I'm a proud BRONY. And, I love Luna, she is Awesome, if you guys don't agree, then automatically you are just jealous of her bat cape . . . JK, liking princess Luna is MY opinion. But I'm getting off topic. I am going to tell the tale of how I lived my, and every Bronies, dream. That's right, I'm going to tell the tale of how I ended up in Equestria. So grab a snuggy, Put headphones on for relaxing, or your favorite, type of music, and enjoy the ride".
It all started on October 6st, 2013, I can remember it like it was yesterday. Though it was 10 years ago, I was 21 at the time, young, I know, but it happened. I was playing my Xbox 360. I was playing The Walking Dead. I was on episode 5 (SPOILER).
I had Clementine hand cuff me to a Heater thing, because I was going to turn into a Walker in a matter of minutes, and Lee didn't look too good. I admit, I was shedding a few manly tears, and I wasn't one to cry a lot. So you know it was an emotional experience .
"Come on Lee, Hold on, Don't die on me man". I said, a single tear running down my face.
Clem was crying too. They had been really good friends ever since Episode 1.But alas, He would die, and come back, or so I thought. Lee said 6 words I never wanted to hear.
"Your gonna have to shoot me".
"What"!? Me and Clem both said at the same time.
"You can't be serious"! I exclaimed.
But, after a good 5 minutes, Clem backed up slowly, and shot,The credits rolled. And music, Sad music started to play.
"sniff" "No"! I exclaimed.
After the credits rolled, And the game saved, I turned off my Xbox.
"I need something to make my feels, feel better". I said.
"Hmm, Oh I know"! I said, Running toward my Laptop, typing in my password and going on Youtube. "A good scare should help me"! I said while searching up "Markiplier Random horror reaction compilation #1" in the search bar.[youtube=/watch?v=sywK36BOVLA]
After the video, I screamed randomly. "HOLY BALLS". Then couldn't help but bust out laughing.
But what got me to stop laughing was that, My Best friend since Kinder garden, Bust open the door and yelled. "WHAT HAPPENED, ARE YOU ALRIGHT, WHERE IS THE THING THAT TRIED TO EAT YOUR NUTS"!!!!!
I busted out laughing again , I laughed so much, my sides started to hurt!
"Whats so funny"?! She asked, Clearly confused and annoyed.
After I calmed down I said, Breathing heavy. "Nothing tried to eat my nuts, I was watching Markiplier, when I yelled "HOLY BALLS"!
She gave me a 'Are you fucking serious' face.
Just to make her more mad I said. "Don't worry, my nuts are only for you, I will protect them for you".
She went to kick me in the nuts, but with me having cat like reflexes I dodged it while laughing.
"You dick"! She yelled. I Smiled
"That's my job". I said proudly. Which she responded by rolling her eyes, and punching me in the shoulder. But, being the weakling she is, It didn't hurt.
"Relax Amber". I said calmly. "I'm just teasing you".
"Alright" She said walking out the door.
But then I felt a sensation in my body, something I don't usually get. It was unbearable, it was a horrible sensation, I was, I was, I was bored. (Hehe, Got you).
Yes, I was bored,
"Soooooooooooooooo Bored!!!!!!!" I shouted.
"Then do something!!!!!!!". Yelled back Amber. But she was kinda quiet, so for dramtic stuff for the story, lets say it was a robed warlock on my shoulder, and he had a wooden stick with a crystal clear orb on one end, and there was blue fire in the orb. Now that's dramtic.
Amber was a childhood friend, She was 6'4. Long brown hair, and dark brown eyes.
I decided to watch some T.V on demand. I found some shows that I liked, but no new episodes. So I decided to watch an entire series of a show, but which one? I closed my eyes and went threw the list, going up and down. Then I stopped the "wheel". I'll call it. Then I landed on one. One that will actually get this story somewhere. Yes you guessed it.
"My little pony:Friendship Is Magic".
The last time I watched the show, was before I watched "Equestria Girls". Didn't really like it that much.
"Alright lets watch this Shiz"! I exlaimed.
Those of you who saw the first episode knows what happens. So I won't bore you with the details.
However there is one part I want to talk about, its really important.
When Twilight Sparkle and the other "Mane Six" were telling Nightmare Moon to taste the rainbow, something happened.
When the screen showed the rainbow going toward Nightmare Moon . . . Nightmare Moon was gone.
I was reaaaaaaaaaally confused to say the least.
But to my shock, the rainbow hit the ground where the mare in question was supposed to be, and bounced . . . right toward the camera.
Heading toward me!
How did I know it was heading toward me, well, I realized it was heading toward me when it was half in the show, and half in my living room.
It was going so fast, not even my cat like reflexes could save me.
It hit me.
It went threw me.
Not like knife or sword went threw me, but transparent threw me.
Once it went threw me it started to circle, all the while I felt pain and energy going threw me.
All the colors of the rainbow shot out of my eyes. Everything was now rainbow colored.
Once it shot out of my eyes, it just, how do I put it.
Stopped.
Every bit of rainbow beam was now gone like a dream.
My only thought now was
"What. The. Fuck".
After an hour of just standing there, I felt the numbness go away.
I could move.
It was dark out, not just the outside of my house, but inside.
My lights shut off once the beam hit me, I spent the rest of night standing there, so of course it was dark out.
But not normal "Night time" Dark. I mean Every light in Glovertown was out, no cars either.
It seemed all of Canada, just stopped.
I felt kind of tired. I figured I would feel better and forget everything that just happend with a good night sleep.
Too lazy to go to bed, I plopped on the couch.
My last thoughts before sleeping were.
"I Feel Sleepy".
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Chapter 8: Nightmare Moon No Longer A Nightmare
"Are you sure your ok?" Twilight asked, she and the others have asked about my stab wound from Jeff about 200 times now, honestly, it didn't hurt.
"Like I said Twilight, I'm 100% sure I'm fine, now, lets find this rip off of Freddy Krueger!" I exclaimed happily.
"Who?" Dash asked.
"Just some weirdo who can enter your dreams, he kills you in your dream, you die in real life, no problem." I said casually, acting like Freddy was no big deal.
Everyone gasped at what Freddy could do.
"Hey look, the ruined castle!" I shouted, changing the subject.
Sure enough, the ruined castle was right in front of us. Twilight was the first who ran inside.
"Twilight, wait!" I shouted after her, we all ran inside.
We heard laughter.
"Hi Nightmare Bitch." I said with a smirk, she just glared at me.
"I will have you know, I'm a really nice girl when you get to know m- I cut her off by kicking her in the face.
"Twilight, find that 'SPARK', I'll hold off Nightmare Slut!" I called over to her.
"HA!, you think you can defeat m- I cut her off by giving her a punch to the mouth, knocking out some teeth.
"Enough talk, lets fight!" I shouted.
My body got covered with a black aura, this time though, it went away.
"MY SPELL DOESN'T WORK!!!" Nightmare shouted, shocked.
"I guess a certain spell only works on me once." I said, kicking her in the jaw, sending her back 10 feet.
"You foal, you can't stop me from making eternal darkness!" She shouted.
"Alright, lets see what you got." I said, with a 'Bring it' sign with my hands.
She went for a buck, but I easily dodged it with my slow mode.
As soon as she got her legs down, I kicked her in the flank, sending her into the wall.
"Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it!" I said, throwing punches to her mouth.
"Ugh" She grunted weakly.
"I won't kill you, I will stop you from going upstairs!" I exclaimed, kicking her in the mouth.
She got knocked out.
I heard a shimmering behind me me, I turned around.
And saw the Elements of Harmony in the sky.
I side stepped out of the way so it would hit Nightmare Moon, but something happened.
When I side stepped, the Main Six turned to where I stepped to.
"Oh. Shi- That's all I got to say before the rainbow hit me, everything went white.
I woke up in a white room.
"Am I in a hospital?" I asked myself.
"No." I heard a God like voice answer, I turned around.
Princess Celestia.
"Princess?" I said, sounding more like a question.
"Yes, it is me, Dylan." She said motherly.
"Wow, your beautiful in person." I said to her, she blushed.
"Why thank you Dill." She replied, her face still red.
"Where am I?" I asked, confused.
"Your in 'Harmony Limbo." She said.
"Harmony limbo, so like, all is peaceful here?" I asked her.
"Yes, it is." She said.
"So, what am I doing here?" I asked her, she smiled.
"Look at your stomach." She said.
I looked, the stab wound was gone.
"So in here, I heal?" I ask.
"Yes, and in a matter of minutes, you will be, what is called, a 'Harmony Angel." She said with joy.
"Harmony Angel?" I asked.
"Yes, a 'Harmony Angel' is like the guardien of the Elements of Harmony." She replied.
"So this is like, being healed by The Medic, from Team Fortress 2, I will get an UberCharge?" I asked.
"Quite like that, yeah." She replied.
"By the way before you go, sorry for beating up your sister." I said apologeticly.
"Quite all right, but it is now time to wake up."
All of a sudden, she chanted "Wake up, wake up." Then her voice sounded like Twilight Sparkles voice, it was Twilight.
"Ugh, how much did I drink?" I asked jokingly.
"Are you serious, we hit you with the Elements, knock you out, Nightmare Moon wakes up and attacks us, and you make a joke like THAT!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah, why?" I asked, confused.
She couldn't help but hug me.
"That's what I like about you, nothing fazes." She said.
"Yeah . . . Wait, did you say that Nightmare woke up and is attacking us?" I asked, worried.
"Yeah um, GET DOWN!" She shouted, pushing me out of the way of something.
We saw an explosion where we were just sitting to.
"You know I could of dodged that myself, right?" I asked.
"Oh right, sorry." She said sheepishly.
"Alright, anyway, hello Nightmare Slut, lets go!" I shouted.
"Oh, so your awake, good, I like it when they scream." She said, I just chuckled.
"Come At Me, Bro!" I exclaimed.
She shot an energy ball at, but slow mode happened.
"Hmm, I wonder." I said, walking up to the energy ball, it was as big as the chick- I mean Scootaloo.
I touched it, didn't even hurt a little.
"So when its fast, it burns, when its slow, its just warm." I said to myself.
I picked up the energy ball, and tossed it, slow motion wore off.
Before Nightmare could react, the ball hit her horn, making her horn got electrified, she tried to shoot another one, but nothing happened.
"No!" She shouted.
"Yes!" I shouted back, punching her in the face, the more I punched, the more powerful I felt, afterwards, My hands were surrounded in a Golden aura.
"Sweeeeeeeet." I said, before my body got surrounded by the Golden Aura.
Everypony gasped, even Nightmare shook a little.
The aura faded.
"Woah!" The Main six exclaimed.
"What?" I asked in a God like voice, to me and probably everypony else, it sounded, Soothing.
Pinkie brought a mirror out from behind a bolder.
I looked Awesome.
My hair was golden and spikey. And I had a robe, Like this one (Scroll down a bit.)
"Awesome!" I exclaimed.
"Now lets test this form out." I said, before running waaaaaaay faster then Rainbow Dash can fly.
"No!" Nightmare exclaimed, before I kicked her. It sent her to the other side of the room.
"Ugh." She grunted weakly.
"Your finished." I said, before chanting Ancient words that I didn't even know I new, the more I chanted, the bigger the rainbow energy balls in my hands got, until finally, they were as big as Big Macintosh.
A rainbow beam similar to the Elements of Harmony beam shot out of each ball. Half way to there target, they joined together, and made a bigger Rainbow Beam.
It went threw Nightmare Moon, not like, knife or stab went threw, but transparent went threw her.
Once the beam vanished, there, in Nightmare Moons spot, lied best pony, Princess Luna.
My form disappeared, my hair a mess, holes in my clothes.
I would of squealed at the sight of the best pony ever, but I was too tired.
I fell asleep.
Chapter 23: The Nightmare 3
I woke on Discord's couch.
"Yo, whatu-" I cut myself off as I saw that Discord wasn't there. I heard my keys on my keyboard.
I walked in my bedroom to find Discord typing on my computer, he was writing on . . . FimFiction?
"And . . . then . . . they . . . KISSED." Discord said to himself while typing.
I coughed to get his attention.
"Oh uh . . . Hi Dill, I never expected you to be here." He said sheepishly.
"Just be lucky you never discovered pony porn." I said with relief.
"What's that?" He asked.
"I-I'll show you." I stuttered.
I searched up my little pony porn Discord.
It had pictures of Discord Xing with Twilight, Dash, anypony.
"W-what is this?" Discord asked, shocked.
"Pony porn, sexy, isn't it?" I asked sarcastically.
He mumbled to himself. "I'll search this up later." "So, Dill, how's it going?" Discord asked.
"Well, I was put to sleep by one of Zecora's potions, so, normal things." I said, he chuckled.
"I hate to see a weird day for you." He said, I chuckled.
"Its weird when narwhals DON'T bacon." I said to him, he gave me a confused look,
"Whatever, anyway, you said you wanted to show me Skyrim." Discord said.
"Indeed." I said, summoning a T.V, Xbox, and game, and setting it up.
I turned on the Xbox, selected 'NEW GAME' and pressed 'A.'
A half hour of gameplay later
"Hey Discord, did you know, you have magic in this game?" I asked him, he looked at me.
"No." I smiled.
I told him what to do, he went up to a guard and set him on fire.
"Oh BOY, a game with magic, this is MY type of game." Discord said, taking on the guards.
2 Hours of gameplay later, he was in the zone.
"YES!, level 50!, I'm in the zone!" He exclaimed, I was shocked, 2 and a half hours of gameplay later, he was level 50.
3 hour later.
"Level 142, I'm AWESOME!" He shouted, I wasn't shocked anymore, I was enjoying his ass kicking.
"You can take out that giant with your fist." I said to him, he went over, and in 2 minutes, he killed the giant.
"DAMN, you got skills!" I shouted, he bowed his head like a king.
10 hours later.
"Level 369, I'm AMAZING!" He exclaimed, I snickered.
"HAHA!" I laughed.
"I noticed you snicker when ever there's a 69 in my level number." Discord said, confused.
"69 is a sex position, you add up what the position looks like." I said, giggling like a little girl.
He thought for 10 seconds before he smirked.
"I see now, HAHA!" He exclaimed, we both laughed.
8 and a half hours later.
I yawned, and looked at my watch.
"Holy crap, I've already been asleep for 24 hours!" I exclaimed, Discord looked at my watch.
"Geez, didn't know Skyrim could be so addicting." Discord said, I snickered.
"AdDICKting." I said, we both busted out with laughter.
"Well anyway, you go ahead and play Skyrim, I'm gonna kill my self now." I said to him, pulling out a grenade.
He saluted, as did I.
BOOM.
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(Not TOO Important) Some Info About The Future Of My Time On Fimfiction
Hey guys, I would like to say that the next chapter I post after this will be my last chapter before this weekend, because if you read the update chapter I posted before deleting it, I delete them after a week, because after a week or so, its old news, and it will be confusing for when this story is done, anyway, in a update chapter I posted, I said I have a lot of work to do in school, not missed work, normal work, I have a bit of late work because I slack off sometimes to do chapters, so, I'm missing school work for YOU guys, cause, I think YOU guys are important. So the next chapter is kind of laid back, it probably won't have the normal amount of stupid humor in it like I usually have, I say stupid because I don't think its that funny, but you guys seem to like it, so I'll role with it.
NEXT, people were private messaging me, asking me what are my plans for the future of Fimfiction.
Well, I plan on writing more stories on here, like Team Fortress 2, Red Team In Equestria, or, some might fan girl, a Markiplier in Equestria story, with his friends, Bob and Wade from Drunk Minecraft, and I have an idea who else will be in that story.
I'm gonna have different Youtubers in Equestria.
I'm gonna put My Little Pony Season 4 Dill In Equestria in a different story, like a sequel, because, those who saw the Equestria Girls movie, knows the plot about the Portal to the Human world, basically, Dills ticket home. Basically, my order for my stories is, Enter Equestria, Markiplier in Equestria, Red Team in Equestria, Enter Equestria AGAIN (that's the title of the sequel), and then put some Youtubers in Equestria, the people that the Main Six react to will be in a story.
THIRD, one thing I've been thinking about, is that, those of you who know the website, Fanfiction.net, well, I was wondering, post your answers in the comments below, SHOULD Dill, be transported to OTHER T.V shows, (CARTOONS OBVIOUSLY), should Dill have more adventures, mess up MORE popular Cartoons?
LASTLY, I was wondering, what would Dylan look like as a Pony, this is a spoiler, but I'm planning on making a Poison Joke mishap, where Dylan turns into a pony for a week, either post in the comments, or private message me, what he would look like, what type of pony, what color, what color Mane, Cutie Mark, ETC. OR, if your dedicated enough to the story (WHICH I DOUBT) you can draw a picture of him as a pony, put it online, and send me the link.
THAT IS ALL, SEE YA NEXT CHAPTER, WHICH I'M WRITING A HALF HOUR FROM NOW, BYYYYYYYE.
