Chapters Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"The 1st ship is...Holly Dash?" Asked Lavender.
"She's a toy exclusive. Holly Dash is a pink unicorn with a Rainbow Dash design of course. She has blue eyes. Her mane and tail are yellow, blue and purple. Her cutiemark is a strawberry."
"So what's her talent? Fruits or holidays?" Asked Lavender.
"I don't know, but hey, starting off on Valentines Day? Great idea." Crystal Clarity replied.
"I guess...(please don't make me one of the OC's who's getting shipped. Especially not one of the 8 who's gonna have sex with daddy!)"
"Well anyways...begin the 1st chapter..."
Spike was walking down the path to Rarity's home, known as Carousel Boutique. He was armed to the teeth with equipment to woo Rarity. He had a tux that was freshly pressed, a nice hat, a bouquet of Rarity's favorite flowers, a box of chocolates with a red bowtie, and a poem.
"(Alright Spike, you can do it. If you don't, Hearts and Hooves Day will be ruined forever and love will mean nothing to you!)" He thought until..."Oof! Oh, I'm sorry..." Then he looked up. "Rainbow Dash?"
"No, though I do get that a lot." Said the mare. "Hey, I'm Holly Dash."
"Holly Dash? Huh, you're actually cuter than Rainbow Dash." Spike commented.
She blushed. "Thanks, you trying to be my date for Hearts and Hooves Day?"
"Oh, uh...sorry Holly Dash, I was actually on my way to Rarity's."
"Ooh, bad luck kid."
"What do you mean?"
"You see this wagon of valentines behind me?"
"Yeah?"
"Rarity recieved a valentine from Thunderlane and now she's sending another back, asking to be his very special somepony...sorry..."
Spike then fell on his knees, his eyes widened, he was so destroyed!
"No....no....it.....can't be....I convinced Twilight to give me a day off and I got all of this stuff ready for her and then...."
"Sorry dragon, but it's right here." She then showed him. "Well, I got lots of letters to send, bye."
Spike then began crying, Holly Dash tried tuning it out as she walked past.
"Errrr...hey kid..."
"I'm Spike."
"Spike, here's the address to my house. After I finish sending valentines, I'll treat you to the best strawberries in Ponyville...what do you say?" Holli Dash offered.
"Well, anything to make me feel better, thank you Holli Dash."
Later...Spike as standing at Holli Dash's front door. He looked around and saw lots of straberry plants, though not just that, he looked at her home too see Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations.
"(Is her special talent holidays or strawberries?)" Spike thought.
"Whoa Spike, you asking out Holli Dash?"
"Oh, hey Twilight, and no I'm not, I just need something to do since Rarity likes Thunderlane and Holli Dash offered to let me eat some of her strawberries."
"Oh, but why do you still have the box of chocolates with you? I'm gonna melt these."
"Chocolate Strawberries? Good idea...rather romantic isn't it?"
"Sh-shut up Twilight!"
"Just saying...see you back at home."
Spike waited a little while before...
"Hey Spike."
"Oh, there you are Holli Dash."
"Why do you still have the box?"
"Because I wanted to make chocolate strawberries."
"Nice." Holly Dash then opened her front door. Spike followed her in. "Take a seat in the kitchen, I'll be back with the strawberries."
As Holly Dash got a basket and went to pick strawberries, she thought to herself. "(Aren't chocolate strawberries like a romatic thing? Why does he wanna have those with me? Unless he's using me to fill the void in his broken heart. No, couldn't be....could it?)"
She returned later with the strawberries.
"Alright Spike, ready for the best Strawberries around?"
"I'll be the judge of that." Spike joked.
Spike then took a strawberry and melted a chocolate all over it. Spike then popped it into his mouth.
"Mmmh! These are the best around!" Spike complimented.
"Thanks, I try my best."
"Holly Dash, you gotta try my homemade chocolate on this."
"You made this yourself?"
"Yeah! I can make all sorts of things."
"(Homemade chocolates...)Did you grow the flowers too?"
"Yeah, sadly they had to go to waste."
"(Rarity...even though we've only met through the valentines I deliver...this guy really put in the effort, I feel bad for him)"
"Even the poem I wrote."
"You wrote a poem?" Holly said in surprise.
After Spike finished another chocolate strawberry. "Yeah, I was armed to the teeth with all sorts of romantic things for this day...I was really hoping for it to happen but...no...better luck next time I guess."
"C...can I listen to your poem?"
"What?"
"I feel like listening to your poem Spike."
Spike then pulled out the poem and then they headed to the living room. Holly Dash sat on the couch with a bowl full of chocolate strawberries.
"Alright Spike, gimme what you got!"
"Ahem!" Spike cleared his throat. "Blue eyes so beautiful and vast like the ocean, always making my heart set in motion."
"(Wait, don't I have blue eyes?)" Holly Dash thought.
"Such a sweet smell, you or food it;s hard to tell."
"(Sweet smell? Don't I smell like strawberries?)" She thought in confusion.
"The most giving unicorn ever, you pulled my love lever!"
Then Holly Dash remembers how she even gave away her previous house last Heartswarming so a family could have a place to stay.
"(Holy crap, this is getting wieeeerd.)"
Spike continued, listing things that Holly Dash kinda identified with.
"And finally...
"What?!"
"Huh? I said Rarity." Spike replied.
"(Did I just imagined him saying Holly?)" Holly Dash was then sweating.
"You okay Holly Dash?"
"Uh...look, it's getting late, how about I walk you home, where do you live?"
"Oh yeah, it is...well, my home shouldn't be that easy to miss, I mean, it's the castle."
"A dragon in a castle, of course." She then rolled her eyes.
"At least I make sense, unlike your Strawberry Orchard and your multi-holiday house."
They then began laughing at each other.
"Oh man, you're a great guy, you might not be able to get Rarity, but you're definitely able to get a mare easily."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, just keep trying and you'll find her."
"You're so sweet Holly Dash."
"You're welcome Spike."
And then...once they got there.
"I had a great time with you Spike."
"Yeah, hope to see you again and also, I'll try to make you my very special some pony by next Hearts and Hooves Day."
"What?!"
"Good night!" Spike said as he closed the front door.
Holly Dash's heart raced as she walked back home.
"What...just...happened?"
"No kiss? Eh, at least she knows what she'll get next year."
"Wow, daddy is impressive."
"Maybe we'll get a kiss next time. Next Letter!"
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.3: Spike and the Dracony.
"Next up is...an OC." Claire announced.
"(Not me please! If it is, please let me be the one not to feel daddy's embrace, my heart can't take that!)" Thought Lavender.
"This OC is named, Emmy."
"(Phew!) Who's Emmy?"
"She's a dracony OC...and a rather...round dracony at that." Said Claire, trying her best not to say fat. "She was created by the artist: Nekocrispy. Now, without further ado, begin our first clop chapter of the night!"
*Chomp!*
*Chew!*
*Gulp!*
For a whole 10 minutes, the 18 year old known as Spike looked in intrigue and horror as he stared at the black female dracony whom was consuming 2 piles of hayburgers on her table. Her fur and scales were black, while her mane, belly, and under her wings were green, she had blue dragon eyes, Spike could even notice her dragon teeth. She had a purple tank top, blue pants, and a necklace. She was a chubby mare with a big chest.
"(Wow, I've never seen a girl eat that much...it impresses me as a bro, but scares me as a chef.)"
That's when she noticed him staring. Spike looked away, hoping she'd just imagine him looking at her. He then felt a wrapper hit the side of his head. Spike then looked at her.
"(Crap! I was caught!)"
She then smiled as she licked her burger, then winked at him.
Spike then stood-up, and marched right outside of The Hayburger. The dracony sat there, laughing her to herself.
"(As a predator, my instincts tell me this will be some easy pray for me to eat-up.)"
To clarify, that was just a joke, there will be no vore, I HATE AND DISGUST VORE PORN!!! You ask me for it, you never ever get it!
The next day, Spike was helping with a charity, as he was giving out his own home-made pizzas!
"Pizzas, one slice is just 2 bits,while the whole pie is 12, help us raise money for the school to get it's own gymnasium!" Spike announced as he stood at a stand.
"Excuse me, I'd like a slice." Said a mare.
"Why certainly, here you go, with a napkin, just 2 bits."
The mare handed him the bits and left.
"Who's next? Come-on, I got plenty of dough, cheese, tomato sauce and toppings, for a lot of pizzas!"
"So, your pizzas are home made?"
"Why, yes they...." Spike then saw her again. "...are."
"Hey, remember me from The Hayburger yesterday?"
"Y-yes?"
"I'm Emmy, as you can see, I'm half dragon."
"I'm Spike, and yeah, I see...(Okay Spike, if she asks about you being a good cook, lie and say no, so you wont have to make so much food!)"
"From what I see, is that it is evident that you're a skilled cook." Emmy pointed out. "Maybe someone who can...feed me..."
"What? No, you got it all wrong, I'm not skilled at all!" He lied.
"Are you kidding me?!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"P-pinkie Pie, not n..."
"Spike, I don't know why you're seeing yourself as inferior, but the fact stands that you're an amazing chef! I had trouble trying to perfect that one recipe the other day, but you pulled it off with flying colors!"
Then Emmy had a grin.
"St-sto..."
"Spike, you were taught by Celestia herself, your hands are the best when cooking food, don't ever say that to yourself okay?" Then Pinkie turned to see Emmy. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie."
"Emmy, nice to meet you."
"Same, well anyways, off I go! La, la, la, la, la, la, la!"
Spike was stunned as he stood there, mouth agape from Pinkie destroying his lie. Emmy then licked her lips.
"Well, that's settled, I'll see you at this address, and I expect you to be there with 2 dozen pizzas, bye!" Emmy then wrote down her address on a piece of paper, licked Spike's ear fin, and then walked off.
Spike then fell to his knees hands raised to the air!
"GODDAMMIT PINKIE PIE!!!" Spike shouted before getting back up and face palming. "(*sigh!* I could just, you know, not go to this address, but then again I bet that she's not gonna leave me alone until I do go see her.)"
Later, Spike made it to the address that was on the note. He groaned before knocking on the door. The door then opened to reveal Emmy in a bath towel, sucking on a candy bar. Spike cringed.
"You're here, and sweet, you brought the pizzas with you as well. Come in." Then she popped the whole candy bar in her mouth.
Spike then walked in to see burger wrappers, fry containers and to go boxes all over the floor. "(As a cleaner, this is unacceptable!)" Spike angrily thought.
"Come-on, let's go sit on the couch."
"Aren't you gonna...you know? Get changed?"
"What's the point? We're gonna fuck after I finish eating your pizzas." Then Emmy sat down on the couch and took a pizza, and then ate the whole thing.
"(I could just, you know, dip, but what's the point? She might begin stalking me, never leaving me alone, also...since she's half dragon, I could use this opportunity to feel what they feel like in bed.)" He thought.
He decided to just sit with her on the couch as she ate. After she ate the last pizza, she then took off her towel, exposing her breasts and belly. "That was yummy, all my compliments to you, my chef!" She said with an arm around him.
"As a bro, I am impressed, but as a chef, I am honored."
"You're welcome, now for, dessert, something cream filled." She said as she trailed another arm down Spike's body until her hand reached into his pants. Spike could've fought back, but Emmy's hands were surprisingly soft. Spike then helped her by unzipping his pants and pulling down his boxers.
"Here, have a taste." Spike offered.
Emmy then got off the couch and got on her knees as she looked at Spike's double dragons.
"Super sized, my favorite." She said before licking the length of his 2 shafts. She then continued by putting the whole things in her mouth. She kinda gagged because of the combined sizes in her throat! She then relaxed her jaws and was bobbing on the 2 dicks. Spike slowly rocked his hips upwards every time Emmy came down. Spike went faster as Emmy went faster until...
"Ah, Emmy, I'm gonna cum!"
Emmy's mouth was full, but Spike could understand her say go ahead. Spike did as she and Spike shot his semen into her mouth! Emmy swallowed every last drop that came out! She then pulled her head off.
"That was yummy, but now, it's time for the main course." She said as she got on all four's with her ass pointed at Spike. He took off all of his clothes, and stood up. Spike then put his hands on her butt, squeezing the big thing.
"Ooh, don't be so rough now Spike!"
Spike then lined one dick up with her pussy and the other with her anus. He then slowly slid his dicks into her holes, causing Emmy to moan in delight.
"Yes Spike!" She moaned until Spike's entire 7.5 inch cocks was in her.
"(Hopefully she wont try to make me cum inside,I am not prepared to make so much food forever!)"
That's when Spike realized something.
"Huh? Did I not break the hymen?"
"Huh? You think I'm a virgin?"
"Y...you're.."
"Hey, even us fat chicks need some love as well you know?"
"Wow."
"On the other hand, I've never had dragon before."
"Nice..." Spike said before thrusting into Emmy.
Emmy loved the feeling of 2 dicks in her from one guy, she gripped the carpet, as Spike thrusts harder into her! Spike then grabbed her breasts from behind, pinching that chubby hybrid's nipples.
"Oh, Spike! Faster, I'm gonna cum soon!"
"I'm gonna cum as well Emmy, so don't be shocked when I pull out!" Spike said as he attempted it.
Spike slowly pulled out, trying not to accidentally cum while inside her.
"(Pull out? Don't think so chef!)" She then made something up. "Eek! Cockroach!" She screamed as she jumped back, making the sudden shock push Spike's dick into her womb and cause Spike to cum in her womb!
"Aaaah!" The sudden trigger was enough to make Emmy cum as well!
Spike then pushed her out of him, shocked at what he just did.
"No..." Spike said with a terrified face.
"Yes..." Emmy said with bedroom eyes.
Spike then jumped up and ran for the door!
"Get back here you! You're my mate for life now!" She said as she flew after him!
"No way!"
"Way, now! For our wedding, I demand 20 quintuple cheesehayburgers, 90 chilicheese carrot dogs with extra every condiment, 50 pizzas with every topping and cheese stuffed crusts, as for the cake, I want everyone to back off!" She then listed more and more foods and she chased the naked dragon throughout the night!
"Poor daddy." Said Lavender.
"Yes, but at least we can expect siblings from another dimension." Crystal Clarity pointed out. "Next one please."
Author's Note
Just so you know, Spike's dicks will be different sizes each chapter. Say this chapter saying his dick is 7.5 inches long, it might be 7.2 inches in another or maybe 5 inches in another chapter.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"Next is...Cayenne." Said Crystal Clarity.
"Who's Cayenne?" Asked Lavender.
"Cayenne is the fan name of that unicorn who appeared in Canterlot Boutique, the white one with the chili pepper cutie mark and the dark red mane with a pink streak in it."
"Now I know who you're talking about Claire, begin the chapter now."
We see colts around a table, watching Spike and another colt stare each other down.
"You can quit now you know."
"No! We can beat a dragon in eating spicy foods!" Said the colt before 2 plates with spicy peppers appeared on the table.
"Go!"
The colt quickly ate the pepper but when he looked at Spike, his plate was gone already!
"What the...oh-no! Water! Water!" Then the colt ran away.
"Who's next?"
Then another jumped into the seat as a spicier pepper were on the plates. That colt fell as Spike burped. More and more colts were taken down by the peppers and much more faster with each colt and each pepper.
"Come-on, where's the challenge amongst all of you weiners!" Spike taunted.
"Hey, mind if I take a turn?" Asked a female voice.
"Hmm?"
"Hola, mi amo es Cayenne. I think I can take you on, I mean...look at my flank!" The mare then showed Spike her cutiemark.
"So you think you can take the heat?"
"Si, senior dragon."
"Let's see if you're more than a pretty face." Then he snapped his fingers.
2 more peppers appeared and then they ate it without fail and no burning pain.
"Hmph! See that? I wont lose to a nino like you."
"Good job, but the battle aint over yet! Break out the hot sauce dip!"
Then bowls appeared before them, and then colts held tiny coffins in their hooves, they opened the coffins revealing bottles of hot sauce! Then the peppers appeared, giving off a faint glow!
"Let's do this crazy dance Cayenne!"
"Bring it!"
They dipped the pepper in the hot sauce and ate the whole thing in one gulp!
"Another!" Said Spike.
"Hotter!" said Cayenne.
"More!" They said.
"Ooh, the battle is really heating up." Pinkie commented. "I mean, look at me, my sweat is getting all over my eyeballs!" She added as she closed her eyes and wiped the sweat every 2 seconds.
"I might not enjoy getting sweaty, but at least this battle between Spikey Wikey and Cayenne is making me lose a couple of pounds." Rarity commented.
"Ice cream! Get your ice cream! 2 bits! Real cheap! Ice cream!" Discord offered as people flooded to him."As it turns out, I'm a mirage!" Then he was gone!
"You're at my mercy Spike!"
"I've never seen a pony take so much punishment! You must be great at parties!"
"Thanks, I get that a lot."
"I bet stallions call you the hottest mare of Equestria." Spike complimented.
This made her blush. "With words like that, I wonder why mares haven't flung themselves at you."
"Guys! You can kiss later!"
The 2 blushed at that.
"Oh, well....it's time for the final pepper, ready for this?"
"May the best fire elemental win!"
That's when a big pepper was on their plates with contracts and wills for Spike and Cayenne to sign. Then the hottest hot sauce appeared alongside contracts and wills for that as well. Both were confident in their victories.
"Alright...the Ultimate Extreme End Game Nuke Sun Goddess Destroyer Peppers of Passionate Love! No way a dragon or Unicorn can stomach those and live! Who will fall 1st." Commented Rainbow Dash.
Both Spike and Cayenne dipped the peppers in their hot sauce, and then ate the whole thing! Though, both were perfectly fine!
"What?! How are they both alive?" Shouted the ponies watching.
"Well, guess we can call this a tie." Spike said.
"Yeah, for a baby dragon, you are amazing." Cayenne replied.
Then they got off the chairs.
"So, wanna passionately kiss in the lake?"
"Hell yeah!"
Then Spike and Cayenne jumped into the lake, kissing so intensely that the fire from their passion caused the water to evaporate! After they finished kissing, there was nothing left of that lake.
"That was dad's hottest battle ever."
"Yeah...definently...next chapter..."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch. 5: The Shocking Skies.
"Next is...Electric Sky?" Asked Lavender.
"She's a background unicorn who never got to be in Friendship Is Magic when Friendship is Magic was MLP Adventures." Claire answered.
"What happened to her?"
"She was replaced by Minuette."
"What?"
"Yeah, then she appeared in The Art of Equestria book with all of the concept art of FIM."
"Aw..."
"She then made a cameo in part 2 of the season 5 finale."
"Wow...so what does she look like?"
"Electric Sky is a yellow unicorn with 3 lightbulbs for her cutiemark. Her eyes are a lighter shade of blue than Minuette's, but her mane and tail are a darker shade than Minuette's."
"Well, it's good she finally made it before season 5 ended." Said Lavender "Let's light this idea up!"
"Ooh, that's a good one sis."
"Ooooh...oh..." A mare said worriedly.
She was pacing, not knowing what to do.
"Huh?" Spike heard the sounds of worries. He followed the sounds.
"What am I gonna do?"
"Excuse me, but are you alright?"
The unicorn then turned to notice him. "Not right now little dragon, I'm in a crisis!"
"What kind?"
"Well...you see how my cutiemark is 3 lightbulbs?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Well, it means that I have brilliant ideas but for some reason, I have no idea on what to do for my final project! If I can't figure out anything in 3 weeks, then I'm doomed!"
"Maybe you need a partner, I'd be happy to help you..."
"Electric Sky, and thanks...."
"Spike, so what's the final project on?"
"Well, the subject is on anything, yet I have no idea on what I should do!"
"Hmm..." That's when Spike had something! "Oh, I have an idea!"
"What?"
"Okay, we take a video camera."
"Uh-huh..."
"And interview Princess Twilight as we see her personal life!"
"Will the princess really let us do that?"
"Of course she will, after all, she is my mom."
"She's your mom?"
"Yeah she is!"
"Well, if you think she'll be okay with it....Let's make us a movie."
"Great! Get some rest for tomorrow, and I'll see you at Ponyville." Spike said before walking away.
The next day, Electric Sky had a camcorder focused on Twilight.
"I think it's a wonderful idea that you're helping out this student Spike, but why me? I don't want anyone to know any embarrassing things about me!"
"Twilight, you've embarrassed me, our friends, and yourself on multiple occasions."
"No I...."
Then Pinkie came in.
"Yes you have!"
Electric Sky was giggling a little bit as she watched Twilight and Spike bicker.
"*groan* Whatever, just don't film me when I'm trying to be private."
"Oh, don't worry Twilight, I promise." Said Spike with crossed fingers behind his back. Electric Sky responded to those fingers with a smirk.
"Now, just to clarify, you're not trying to get with this pony who strangely looks like Minuette?"
Electric Sky blushed.
"Twilight!"
"Just saying."
"Twilight, she may be cute, but I'm not gonna go after every cute girl I run into!"
"What did you say?"
"Let's just get to the interview."
Later they went to the living room with Twilight on the couch. Spike pulled out a notepad.
"Alright Electric Sky, you may ask Twilight anything you want, while I sit here and write down notes."
Then Electric Sky started asking questions with Spike taking notes as Twilight answered her questions honestly. After that, Spike and Electric Sky followed Twilight around with a camera.
"As you can see, a magic box that allowed me and my friends to gain Rainbowfied, AKA our super forms, somehow created a huge castle after we defeated Tirek." Twilight told them.
"Wow."
"And then..."
"Get ready for the hallways part of the tour." Spike whispered.
Electric Sky then gulped.
"We got hallways, hallways, hallways, hallways, hallways, hallways.......and then we get to Spike's room, oh, you shpuld see what I put in here, it looks so cute." Twilight said. "Whenever I'm back home from a stressful day, I come here to see Spike's peaceful face to cheer me-up." Then Twilight began squishing Spike's cheeks.
"Twi, you're in embarrassing parent mode, while we need you in video documentary mode." Spike told her.
"Oh, heh, sorry about that. Anyways..."
After the tour of the castle, it was time for a tour of her hangouts.
"Hey Spike, who's this? Your date?" Mrs.Cake asked, ignoring Twilight.
"What? No! I'm just helping her with a school project so she can graduate."
"I see, get her out of school faster so you 2 can spend the rest of your lives together." She insisted.
Electric Sky then blushed.
"No Cup Cake, I'm just helping her out, no intent at all, it's all platonic!"
"Sorry, it's just that after Rarity's rejection, I've noticed you've been trying to find some new gorgeous mare to notice your helpful deeds in the hopes of dating them."
"Spike? Are you just helping me to try and get with me?"
"Electric Sky, please don't misunderstand, I'm helping you for the sake of helping you, I have no intention, at all! Yeah, you're cute, and smart, I am not attracted to you in that way!" Spike exclaimed.
Electric Sky then snickered.
"Don't worry Spike, I'm cool. Sure it's flattering that ponies think we're an item and that you're calling me cute, but I know it's all platonic."
"Phew...thanks for not having some wrong impression about me. Anyways...where's Twilight?"
"Oh, she left."
"Where'd she go?"
"Pinkie took her on a crazy adventure."
"Well, guess we better try again tomorrow...I got you a guest room for the 3 weeks."
"You...got me a guest room in the castle?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks Spike (I'M GONNA SPEND A NIGHT AT PRINCESS TWILIGHT'S CASTLE!!!)"
"No prob."
The next day, Spike and Electric Sky were stalking Twilight.
"Alright, in that bush!" Spike suggested.
They jumped in and watched Twilight as she met up with Flash Sentry.
"Wow, this will kill a huge chunk of her fandom." Said Electric Sky.
"Yeah, but why should she care about who the fans think is the right guy?"
"Yeah, the fans who hate on the romantic element are not true fans."
"Man, you have a real sense of thinking, glad I'm helping you out."
Electric Sky blushed. "Oh...thank you Spike." She replied.
As they watched Twilight on her date with Flash, Electric Sky then thought. "(Am I...on a date? Wait, what am I thinking? We're just spying on someone! Though...) Then she saw the picnic basket Spike brought. (...he did think ahead to pack us a lunch.)"
"Daaaang, Flash has some swag on him." Commented.
"(You have some swag yourself Spike.)" Electric Sky thought.
"Hey, you getting hungry? There's some sandwiches in the basket for us both...just make sure you got the flower sandwiches and not my gem sandwiches."
"Hah, noted."
She took a sandwich and took a bite.
"Wow! This is really good Spike!"
"Thanks Sky, glad you liked it."
The date ended and all the sandwiches were gone.
"This is a lot of nice footage."
"Yeah, I especially liked when Twilight made that funny face from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie slamming thier faces together while they weren't looking."
The both of them shared a laugh. The 2 of them then continued to record what Twilight's life was like, for the rest of the weeks, editing the footage as well and in putting thier voice overs in certain parts of the movie. As they spent time together, the more Electric Sky was falling for him, she then accepted it as thought that she loved him. Soon, it was time to turn in the project.
"You sure worked hard! I know you will pass! I believe in you!" Spike told her.
"Thanks Spike, you were the best help I could ask for." Electric Sky replied to him with a confident voice and face.
Electric Sky went into her magic academy with Spike standing outside the room and then when it was time for class and she turned in her final project...
"I passed Spike!" She called out!
"Whoa!" Spike was the enveloped in an electric aura as he was levitated to Electric Sky into a big kiss! She then pulled back and hugged him! "I'm going to graduate!"
Spike's blush was so red. "You're welcome Sky...guess you'll be able to get a well paying job now...whatever your job may be."
"Yeah..." She said in a sad tone.
"What's wrong Sky?"
"Well, it's just that...I'm sad that our adventure is over." That's when she had an idea! "Wait! What if I moved to Ponyville?"
Then Spike had an idea"And become a permanent residentvof the castle!"
"I'd make a living without having to pay rent!"
"Then on days off, we'd have an adventure, whatever it is!"
"And then..."
"And then..."
The 2 realized that thier faces were close to kissing.
"Oh...heheh, yeah...great pl.." Spike was about to look away if it hadn't been for Electric Sky holding his head still.
"Spike, I just kissed you, why are you pulling away from the 2nd one?"
"Oh, that wasn't just a thank you kiss?"
"Correct, now, why don't we give my classmates and professor a 2nd show?" She said before pulling Spike in for more!
"Daddy is so helpful, isn't he Lavender?" Asked Clarity.
"He sure is, and that's another reason to love him...a-and I mean that not in a romantic way! Please don't make me a ship, n...next chapter please!"
Meanwhile...
"So, you need our help again?" Asked a familiar voice.
"Yeah, I'm glad you all are here, together, we can beat Xeenam!"
Author's Note
If you saw that ch.5.5 for the side story was published, please ignore that, that was a mistake on my part.
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.5.5: The Team Assembled and the Family Returns!
"Finally, all f you are here...Blood Brandy, Geoice, Omifox, Brony Kaiju Soldier, Danville Bengal and Ember Q Discordia!" I said."And I'm also glad you 4 have made it, Deezutra, Xerena, Veetrix and Mallie."
"I didn't bring my harem of 9000+ vixens, worried they all get thier butts whooped after the last time we fought Xeenam." Omnifox explained.
"It's fine, and I'm glad all of you are here today, it seems Xeenam's son Xutaga is heading for Manehattan to revive the whole family and begin some sort of hostile takeover, starting with Manehattan." I explained.
"What? Revive the entire family?! We made no scratch in Xeenam at all back in Volume 5! How do you expect us to beat him now? Sure we have all gotten stronger since last time, but against Xeenam? We're most likely still nothing! Even with the 2 new guys!" Blood Brandy said as he pointed to Brony Kaiju Soldier and Danville Bengal.
"Hey!" Said Brony Kaiju Soldier
"That was rude." Said Danville Bengal.
"What about us 2?" Asked Mallie.
"Yeah, we may be new to fighting, but we've trained hard as well!" Said Xerena.
"All of us will play a part in stopping Xeenam from achieving his goals! Trust me, and also...Xutaga's kidnapped Lanceblazer17, we gotta save him at least! We have to try, now Brandy, are you with me, or against me?"
"Fine!" Replied Blood Brandy.
Then the train arrived.
"Alright everyone, let's do this!" I said as we entered the train, bound for Manehattan.
Meanwhile in the Manehattan rooftops!
"Return from Hell my family! Return, and be twice as strong! Muahahahahahahahahaha!" Laughed Xutaga as a pillar of dark energy erupted!
And just like that...creatures of evil rose from the dark magic circle!
"Yes...Mother AKA Nighttime's End!" Then a feminen creature in a thick veil, white dress and a cresent moon shaped hover board appeared. "My brothers Hexo, Degan Vozaga, and Dark Antonio, my sister Shadow Belle! My son from the future, Tehen Vioz! And last but not least...Father AKA Xeenam!"
And then a dark orb came out! From the orb, 2 red eyes of pure rage! And just like that, the orb exploded as the demon known as Xeenam appeared!
"Thank you reviving us son!"
"It was my pleasure, father!" Xutaga replied as he bowed in respect.
"Hah, I'm proud of you, but where exactly is my army?"
"Oh, my son Tehen here happily assisted me in giving me this scroll to get you that army!"
"Excellent, now, what about those people who are always trying to stop me?"
"I sent some warriors to go and kill them all!"
"Good, now, would you all look away? Father and Mother are gonna..." Then all of them turned thier backs to Xeenam and Nighttime's End.
"Alright, when you 2 are done, I'm gonna draw the circle to summon your army." Xutaga said.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"Next is...Sweeten Sour."
"You mean that living Sour Patch kid from EQG 3?"
"No, the girl who sang alongside Rainbow Dash when trying to give the school some inspiration in defeating Crystal Prep."
"She looks like a clone of Sour Sweet."
"Yeah, but she looks much nicer doesn't she?"
"Yeah, certainly someone for daddy(who isn't me)...now let us begin in another dimension."
The Canterlot High Marching Band was hard at work, as they practiced thier routine for The Summer Sun Celebration!
"Come-on everyone! We can do it!" Shouted the teenage girl twirling the baton, that's when she threw it into the air! That's when a purple and green ball zipped through and catch it!
The band stopped playing as they saw the thing who took the stick land on the ground and begin playing with it.
"Spike! Drop that!" called Twilight running over as she tried to take the baton from his mouth.
"Sorry Twilight, it's my dog instincts conflicting with my new intelligence."
"Still, try not to go crazy."
"It's okay Twilight, Spike's always welcome to catch the baton, it's very cute." Sweeten Sour told them.
"See." grinned Spike to his owner who just rolled her eyes.
"In fact, I think Spike just gave me an idea for a dazzling routine when we're performing in the city! Mind if I borrow him?" She asked.
"Uh sure." replied Twilight picking Spike up and handing him to Sweeten Sour.
"Rad!"
"Just make sure to bring him back after school...because, Spike is more than just a dog...he's my baby....and...you don't want to feel the wrath of a mother, not even your own, do you?"
Sweeten Sour saw Twilight's serious face with her arms crossed and gulped in slight fear.
"Don't worry Twilight, everyone here sees me as some sort of mascot, I'll be fine."
"Okay...it's just that I care about your well being.....a lot..."
"Twilight?"
"Yeah?"
"Shouldn't you be going now? If you don't, you'll be tardy."
"Ah!" And like that, she booked it.
"Don't worry about her. She tends to go overboard." he shrugged in Sweeten Sour's arms.
"Huh...well, let's begin our training!"
Spike and Sweeten were hard at work, training their butts off, yeah, butts not flanks since this is EQG and not FIM. Spike made sure to jump or roll when Sweeten signalled him to.
"Spike, here comes the drum roll!" She said as she twirled the baton.
Spike crouched and waited for his cue. Sweeten Sour then threw the baton up and Spike ran over to build speed! He jumped, but it was a little to low as Spike crashed into Sweeten Sour! Both fell to the ground.
"Ow." winced the teen.
Spike was lying, spread eagle, on her chest.
"Sorry, I guess that's why it's called practice." Spike chuckled.
"Accidents happen."
"Well, guess we gotta train harder!"
"No doubt, play it again!" Sweeten Sour commanded.
"But our throats hurt!" Complained a band member.
"Okay, water break, and then we..." Then the baton hit her on the head. "Ow...water break, and then we go back to practice!"
Everyone agreed as they disbanded.
Meanwhile in the bleachers, 3 teenagers in trashy, unclean, and ghetto style clothing were spying.
"Dudes, did you see that?"
"Yeah Garble, that must be why Canterlot High has so much spirit!"
"It's the baton."
"No Clump, it's the dog! If we take the dog, then we take thier spirit! Making them unable to beat our football team next week!"
"So when do we grab it?"
"When the dog lands with the stick, get your slingshots and bebe guns ready! Now follow my lead..."
"Ready Spike?"
"Ready Sweeten Sour!"
"Ready Clump and Spear?"
"Ready Garble!"
Sweeten Sour waited for the drum roll and tossed her baton.
Spike then ran to build up speed and then jumped and grabbed the baton!
"Now boys aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
The 3 boys shouted as they fired their weapons! Everyone hiding behind the drummer boys for cover! That's when Clump took off his shirt and muzzled Spike, as Spear used his to tie Spike up!
"Thanks for the present bitches!" Then they all hopped into a cheap car and drove off "Dragon High rules!"
"Hey! Give him back!" Sweeten Sour yelled as the car was already too far for her to run after him. "Oh...Twilight wont...wait a minute! They have magic! They're gonna take care of Dragon High in a flash, I mean those guys are jokes! Though, I am still scared of what Twilight will do to me after..." The image of a giant Twilight with horns chasing after her with a spear popped into her head. She shuddered. "No, I gotta save Spike, and their magical power is what I need to save him!" Then she looked at the baton on the ground. "And I'll beat that guy to a pulp with this!"
With Spike he was growling in the car.
"Boy, this dog is a fighter!"
"Keep in held down, I want that dog restrained until after the Dragon High Bandits beat the Canterlot High Wondercolts!" Said Garble, as they drove into...the bad side of town.
"What if this runt tries to make a run for it?"
"Then shoot with your bebe guns! He's a dumb animal anyways! It's not like there's crimes against it!"
"Yeah, you're right Garble!"
"Yeah, maybe we'd win another game if he died!"
"Now you guys are thinking!"
Later..."ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!" Went Twilight Sparkle.
"Now Twilight, just calm down." spoke Sweeten Sour.
"Calm down? Spike just got kidnapped by the most disgusting people in this city! DRAGON HIGH!"
"Students more low down than Crystal Prep!" Said Applejack.
"Stinky cheaters!" Said Pinkie Pie.
"People you want absolutely nothing to do with." Said Rainbow Dash.
"A school of delinquents who think death is hilarious!" Said Fluttershy.
"Not to mention stupid!" Said Sunset Shimmer.
"Just thinking of them would make you want to throw up!" Said Rarity.
"That's why I came to you girls, in the hopes of rescuing him with your magic."
"Our magic comes out when we play our music."
"Or when we show the talent we represent, I noticed it when me and Crystal Prep came here." Twilight explained.
"So you can't use it to help get Spike back?"
"Sweeten Sour, have you forgotten something?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"What?"
"Take a good look at yourself!"
She then looked at her uniform.
"Oh, now I understand, okay, while I rally the marching band, and all of the bands from the Battle of The Bands Tournament, let's save Spike!"
"Yeah!"
Later at the front doors of Dragon High...
"Hey, do you hear that?" Asked a Dragon High student who was shaving his beard with a knife.
"What is that?"
Then they saw Sweeten Sour and the Rainbooms leading the fray!
"What the hell!"
That's when Rainbow Dash and Flash Sentry had a guitar duet powerful enough to send the students flying into a tree, knocking them out!
"Alright, everybody! For Spike!"
All of them spread out.
All of the bands sent out sonic booms that took down the thug looking students!
*Boom!* *Boom!*
The Dragon High students then pulled out bebe guns, slingshots, and knives! They all charged, but were taken down by the sonic booms from the music!
"This isn't good! I better warn Garble!" Said Clump, as he abandoned Spear.
Said student was keeping a foot on Spike to keep him in place.
"Garble!"
"What is it Clump?"
"It's Canterlot High, they're kicking our asses...*Boom!*...with music!"
"Tell them to stop or I'll kill the mutt!"
"Got it!"
Clump ran back out! "Our leader wants you to stop or he'll kill the dog!"
Then the explosions stopped and Garble walked out with Spike in his left hand and a knife in the right.
"Spike!"
"You want this dog? Fight me on the rooftop meatball head!" He said, looking at Sweeten Sour.
"Bring it douchebag."
And like that, they were on the roof, Sweeten Sour with her baton, and Garble with his knife!
"You're gonna fight with that? Weak!"
"This thing represents the hard work and heart me and Spike put in to, when perfecting our routine, and with it, I see in my victory!"
"Lame!"
Garble was then jabbed in the face by the baton!
"Cheap shot, you bitch!" Garble said as he swung his knife, but Sweeten Sour jumped back, with the knife just missing her nose!
"And you called me lame!"
Garble thrust the knife, but Sweeten Sour caught his arm, punched him, and let him go with a smack from the baton!
"Ah!"
Garble stumbled back! "(Am I losing? Guess it's cheating time!) Hey dudes!" No response.
"We took care of your snipers." Said Sunset Shimmer.
"Dammit!" He then stomped the ground before recieving another strike!
"Take your beating like a man!"
"Fuck you! I aint going down like some bitch!" He threw the knife, it missed as Garble ran to an edge! "No regret!"
"What the hell!"
Garble jumped, but was then caught by Twilight...whom then tore him to shreds!
"THIS'LL TEACH YOU TO STEAL MY BABY!!!"
"Aaaaaah! Noooooo!"
That's when the door opened!
"Sweeten Sour!"
"Spike! You're okay!"
Said dog ran over as Sweeten Sour picked him up.
Spike happily licked her face!
"Spike, that tickles! Tee-hee-hee!"
"It's my way of saying thanks."
"Well, actually, I know of a better way..." She said as she kissed him on the lips, causing Spike's purple, to turn red.
"Hey! Don't go kissing my son!" called Twilight.
"What? Why can't I?"
"Because your punishment for letting Spike get kidnapped, is being his sex slave."
"(Even better!)" Spike and Sweeten Sour thought.
"Hmm...guess we better get on my punishment once we get back home." Said Sweeten Sour in a fake sad voice.
"Yeah, I guess." Spike replied in his own down voice to make it sound like he felt bad for her.
And so, after getting back home, Spike and Sweeten Sour got on Twilight's....'punishment!'
"Woo-hoo! Doggy daddy is safe!" cheered Claire.
"Wow, dad sure is suave." Lavender commented. "Next please, and please....not me!"
Author's Note
A thank you to Spikerulez302 for collabing with me.
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.8:Milf Chronicles 2: Blossoming Bubble Gum.
"Next is...." Then Claire then got fire to the face! "...What was that for?"
"That's for humiliating me in front of the readers! Wahaaaaa!" Then Lavender ran off!
"There goes my co-host, hey can someone get her for me? Kay, thanks. As I was saying, next is...Bubblegum Blossom another Manehattan Mare? And a mother no doubt. Trahzo returning to the Milf Chronicles I see...Anyways, Bubblegum Blossom is an earth pony with Bon Bon's design, she has the same coat as Bon Bon, she has a completely is blue mane and tail, she has turquoise eyes, pink hoop earrings, a green sweater turtleneck sweater, a yellow bow, her cutiemark is 2 pink flowers, and...if you've seen Made in Manehattan, oh my goodness the accent she has! You know what makes this milf unique though? She's the 2nd earth pony in the show to have a pegasus for a son! The 1st being Cup Cake. Anyways, enough messing around, I gotta apologize to lavender, and you gotta read this story."
That's when she burped a letter.
"A letter from Trahzo...Beefspike will be in this chapter? That's the best version of father, oh, what a lucky mare...begin now!"
There was a moving truck outside of a house and an adult stallion was smiling as he looked at his mother. "Mom...thanks for all you've done! I know you already heard this from my college graduation, but still...thank you for getting me this far, and all on your own!" Curtain Call told her.
"*Sniffle!* It was nothing sweetheart! Now you get out there and become the best stage actor you can be!"
"I will, take care of yourself."
"You too Curtain Call..."
After bidding farewell to her son, Curtain Call hopped into the moving truck and off he went to his new home.
Months passed, and the single mother decided to try and find someone online.
"Female looking for, handsome male, nicely toned muscles, fine with milfs who's children are already adults, and doesn't mind Manehattan." After filling out her dating profile, all she had to do, was wait. An hour passed and she had one person reply. "Hello Gumflower837, I am Superhotgreenfire330, I am interested and would like to meet-up with you in Ponyville, if that's okay, I'll meet you at the front doors to Princess Twilight's Castle."
Bubblegum Blossom smiled, and replied.
"Okay, I'll meet you there tomorrow!"
Meanwhile on the other side, one beefcake of a dragon saw the reply and then prepared a few things for her arrival.
The next day, Bubblegum Blossom had gotten off the train and was bound for Princess Twilight's castle.
"I wonder who this mystery stallion is!"
She then made it to the front doors of the castle.
"Hello? Hello? Superhotgreenfire330? It's me Gumflower837...oh...did he get nerv..."
That's when the doors burst open and standing in front of her...
"What the..."
"Hey, I'm Superhotgreenfire330 AKA Spike."
"Oh-my goodness, you're more handsome than my son, my late husband, and that red stallion I passed by earlier!"
"Why thank you."
"Wait...Spike are you a..."
"A dragon? Yes I am."
"Wow Spike, I never thought a dragon could look like a true beefcake."
"Well, it did take a long time, I mean look at this pic of me during my teen years!" Then he presented her a pic. "Was some scrawny dork, but now I'm a a dragon who's looks are prince charming level, and I'm only kind of a dork!"
Bubblegum Blossom snickered at that last bit. "So, I take it you're the dragon of this castle?"
"Yep, and now that I've told you my IRL name, please, what is the name of the beautiful mare that stands before me?" He asked before taking her hoof a kissing it. She then looked away smiling with a blush.
"I'm Bubblegum Blossom, and aren't I a lucky mare?"
"No, I'm the lucky dragon to meet a lovely lady such as yourself."
"Sheesh Spike, you are a charmer!"
"Hey, I can't help it when I'm in the presence of a young and pretty mare."
"Stop it, I just said in my profile that my kid is an adult who just moved out."
"And yet, you haven't aged, how do you do it?"
Bubblegum Blossom was holding her face as her blush was getting redder each time!
"Okay, we really need to stop, because I hired a band to play for us and hired Gustave La Grande to serve us."
"Thee Gustave La Grande is going to serve us?"
"Yeah, I'm basically more or less Princess Twilight's son, so since I'm the son of a princess, I got money! I got money and I decided to spend some of it on getting this date ready."
"I can't argue with your logic."
"You see? Now let's go."
Spike and Bubblegum Blossom then made it to the gazebo, with a table and 2 plates ready, a band was playing a soothing tune to set the mood for the night.
"I saw these guys at the grand galloping Gala." Said Bubblegum Blossom.
"Really?"
"Yeah, me and my son came here....and then Discord came with the Smooze."
"Bleck! Don't ever mention the Smooze, out all of the mythical creatures in this world, the author has a strong hate for slimes."
"Yeah, so gross."
They then sat down and Gustave gave them their food.
"Dinner is served, bon apetite."
Then they ate their food while talking.
"So, what does your son do?"
"He's an actor."
"Really?"
"Yeah his name Curtain Call."
Spike then turned and spat out his spaghetti and gems.
"No way! Thee Curtain Call? The fresh new young actor who's poster is on teenage girls' posters?"
"My son is that popular? It's only been months."
"I know, how'd he become such a great actor?"
"Well, I think it had something to do with a play he saw one day as a kid, we were just heading home, but then he begged to stay and watch, and being such the precious thing he is, I decided to stay and see it."
"That's crazy, just one play and he decided to get into acting?"
"Yep, simple as that, he was so cute when reciting Hamlet and when he went to the park as different characters. Some worked like his cool guy and funny guy, though others like his Bologna man and Zognoids characters were...embarrassing."
"Eh, sometimes an artist must suffer for thier work when trying to be great, and I'd say your son must've suffered so much err...not trying say that I love seeing someone in pain, it's just that."
"Don't worry Spike, forget about it."
They then continued with their meal. After finishing, the band left, Gustave Le Grande left, and the CMC in stagehand uniforms desposed of the table and plates. Spike was then walking Bubblegum Blossom back to the train station.
"Thanks for walking me back Spike."
"You're welcome Bubblegum Blossom, maybe we can see each other in Manehattan next week."
"Yeah, and I could introduce you, my new boyfriend to my son."
"Aw-man, then you could show me the best places where birds wont divebomb for your carrot dogs!"
"Hahaha!"
Then they made it to the train station.
"Well, it's been fun Spike, see you next week for a date in my hometown."
Then she kissed Spike on the lips and then entered the train!
"(What luck? My son is a famous actor and I'm dating a handsome dragon, but more importantly...I'm dating a dragon...can't wait for that ripped body to one day rip off this sweater...)"
Then she leaned on the window and sighed as she stared into the night sky.
"Lavender, I'm sorry for making you look foolish, I was trying to do something funny."
"And I was the butt of your joke!"
"Come-on Lavender, what else do you want from me?"
"Make youself look foolish in front of the guards."
"How?"
Then Lavender whispered into Crystal Clarity's ear.
"Really?"
"If you want me to forgive you, then you must."
"Fine, hey cameraman, I'm gonna need someone to attatch strings to me so sister here can use me as a.....marionette!" The Claire face palmed. "Just get to the next chapter now."
The Cameraman was about to laugh...
"Laugh, and I will turn you into grilled steaks!"
The Cameraman clammed up and then cut to the next chapter.
Author's Note
Bologna Man and Zognoids were conversations by Danny and Arin during Game Grumps. If you don't now who the Game Grumps are, you've been living under a rock in my book!
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.9:Fresh Breath Kisses.
"Next is...oh-no..."
"What's wrong Claire?"
"Look at who's next!"
"No...no...not a....G3 pony! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
Then Lavender burped a letter.
"Dear Lavender and Claire,
In G4 she was a toy exclusive for a while, she has been in Playskool's G4 toy line alongside Pinkie Pie, she made a cameo in the IDW when evil sentient apples were trying to takeover Ponyville, also she's the OG sock pony and was the predecessor to Derpy's clumsiness! She has this obsession with the color green. Oh and, she's my favorite G3 pony! That is why she will be in this chapter!"
"Well Lavender, we don't have any choice, the next one is...Minty. Yeah, she's an earth pony mare with a green coat and pink man & tail, her cutiemark are peppermints, she's obsessed with green, she's a big klutz and she loves socks though those of you who've witnessed all of G3 may already known this...now begin the chapter."
Spike was freezing like crazy! Spike was walking in the snow because he fell asleep in the middle of town and found himself waking to a blizzard that blocked his field of vision and sadly it was night time, so his sight was impeded even more! He bumped into walls, he tried to knock on the door, but everyone was asleep.
"Th-th-this is j-j-just gr-r-r-reat! I c-c-can't see w-where I-I-I'm go-going, it's n-n-night, no one is aw-aw-awake and I-I'm g-gon-n-na d-die! *ACHOO!!!* Oh, a c-cold as w-well? W-well, guess I sh-should ju-ju-just lay d-down and l-l-l-let th-the c-cold ta-ta-ta-ta-take m-me!" Said a very angry Spike as he just got down on the snow, face down, shaking.
"Well, now aren't you just a Negative Nancy." Said a voice.
"Oh, a-as the f-f-final-al-al-al strrrrraw! I'm hav-v-ving illu-lu-lu-lusions!"
"What? I'm not an illusion? I'm a pony you silly dragon."
"C-c-can you s-save m-me frrrrom hy-hy-hypothermia if y-you're n-n-not an i-i-illusion?"
"Of course!" That's when Spike was picked up and plopped on to somepony's back. "Here you go you little cutie, socks to keep you comfy and cozy, hahaha..."
"Th-thanks..."
Eventually, Spike felt a warmness, he pulled his head up to see he was in someone's house.
"Wait and warm-up at the fireplace, I'll get you some hot cocoa and candy."
"Okay, and thanks for saving me." Spike did as the mare said and walked into the fireplace to warm himself up.
"Alright Spike, cocoa and peppermints."
"Oh, thanks." Spike said as he walked out of the fireplace.
"Uh..."
"What? I'm a dragon."
"I guess that makes sense. Anyways, here." She said, giving him the cocoa and mints.
Spike sipped the warm drink and then popped a mint into his mouth.
"Mmmm, these are so good."
"Thanks, making mints are my special talent."
"Really?"
"Really!"
"I'm Spike! What's the name of my fun savior?"
"I'm Minty..." Then she leaned into Spike's ear. "...Don't tell anyone Spike, but I'm the one who gave Santa the stockings idea."
Spike then started laughing.
"It's true actually."
"Please, how can someone like you manage to start a Hearthswarming tradition that existed for centuries?"
"That's because it was my 1st incarnation who did it."
"3rd incarnation?"
"Yeah, you're looking at the 4th me."
"I don't follow what you're saying, are you high?"
"No, I'm telling you the truth, wait here! I got proof!" She then ran to the stairs, as soon as she got to the top, she mis-stepped and fell down the stairs.
"Oh, she's dead, let's get to the..."
"Sorry, but it's not over yet!" The Cameraman told Claire.
"Drat!"
"Ooh! Oh! Ow! Ooch! Ack!" Then she landed on her belly. "Doh!"
"Oh-my God, you okay?" Spike said, helping her up.
"Yeah...I'm basically the Earth Pony version of Derpy."
"Wow, that must suck being a huge klutz."
"Yeah, but it's not so bad."
"How?"
"Doesn't matter now. So come on, let's see the thing I wanted to show you."
Spike shrugged and followed behind to catch her in case she fell again...and of course, she did!
"Hey! Watch the calls pal!"
Spike blushed knowing he was holding Minty's flank, but let go after she said that. "Sorry about that..."
Once they were in Minty's room, it had a green bed, a huge green sock drawer, a green bed all of the walls were green, her curtains were green, her carpets were also green.
"Wow...that's a lot of green Minty."
"Hahah...I know Spike, hey I found it, come here and I'll show you the proof that I started the stockings thing."
Spike and Minty then sat down and looked at the album Minty had in her hooves.
"See? That's me with the 1st incarnations of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash."
"What? Minty, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash are 2 of my Best Friends, and you're saying this previous you knew them?"
"I even knew the 2nd you, and the 1st Rarity when she was Rainbow Princess Rarity of the unicorns."
Spike was shocked!
"There were 2 me's back then?"
"Yeah, see? Here's the 2nd you, Master Kenbroath Heathspike, or to your friends and commoners, Spike."
"What about Rarity? Where's she?"
"Here!" Then she pointed to Princess Rarity.
"Wow...that is...um...a huge change from the current one I see."
"Yeah, I could meet-up with them and show how we're all connected, but..."
"But what?"
"Well, how can I say this...." She then looked away from Spike. "...I'm a bit shy, I mean, Pinkie Pie may have given me a greenerific welcome party and I talked to all 3 of them, but...I haven't seen them since that party! I did something that caused all of Ponyville to blow up even though it was an accident!"
"Wow...you're that clumsy? What was it?"
"Both me and Derpy tripped at the same time, we bumped our foreheads together and the resulting clumsy energy was enough to destroy everything, and boy wher they mad! It was an event so tragic that it was called..."
"When Idiots Collide? I saw that some time ago and it was in the newspaper back when me and Twilight lived in Canterlot...was that really you? Holy shit,I'm surprised everyone in Ponyville survived the blast...especially Rarity!"
Then Minty started crying! "It was the worst thing to ever happen in my life!"
Spike then hugged Minty.
"Hey...it was just an accident, it's not like you really meant to blow-up Ponyville, I mean, no-one died did they?"
"No..."
"And Ponyville is back to...it's original status, now, how's about I help you reconnect with Pinkie, Dashie, and Rarity?"
"Can you really do that?"
"Yeah I can, oh Pinkie!" Spike called and that's when Pinkie came out from under the bed with RD and Rarity in tow!
"How did we get here?" Rainbow Dash questioned, but then saw Minty. "Minty? Why are we in your house?"
"Blech, and there's simply too much of one color in this bedroom for my tastes!" Rarity said disgusted, then she turned her attention towards Minty. "Minty? Is that you darling?"
Minty was slowly backing away, but then tripped over a sock!
"Ow!"
"Haha! Now she's de..."
"Would you cut that out?!"
"Heya Minty!"
"W...wha?"
"What's the matter?"
Then Minty ran and hid behind Spike! "Spike, I am still very scared to talk to them!" She whispered.
"Don't worry, they are very forgiving, just apologize." Spike then pushed her towards them!
"Uh...hey Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity...I've got something to tell you 3..." She then broke into a cold sweat. "Uh.....I'm v-very sorry about the explosion!" Then she covered her face, she expected punches but instead heard laughter. "Wuh?"
"Told ya!"
"Don't worry about that, we're all fine!" Pinkie said.
"Infact, looking back at that, it was pretty awesome!" Ranbow Dash added.
"Indeed, It's a good thing the insurance company was still standing and able to pay for everything!" Rarity finished.
"So...you're not mad at me anymore?" She was then hugged by all 3!
"Of course we aint mad, you're a friend! Our friend." Pinkie told her.
"........" She then cried a tear of joy as she jumped out of the hug and began hugging Spike! "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"You're very welcome." Spike then felt her cheek rub against his cheek.
"You don't know how happy I am!" She then got a mint out of her nightstand and ate it! "For helping me face my fears, here's a reward!" Then she kissed Spike.
"Wow...very...minty!" Spike remarked.
"Nice one! Now have some more!"
Then she went to full on making out with Spike.
"Um..." Spoke Rainbow Dash.
"Huh?" Said Minty.
"Pinkie fell asleep, so she can't do the reality bending teleportation, and it's very cold out, mind if we stay here for the night?"
"Oh yeah." Then she turned to look at Spike. "After the guest beds are set, I can give you part 2 of my reward for you where we have a little 'fun' with my socks."
Spike didn't listen, he was just there smiling like some doofus...
"Okay, the story's, lets get to the next chapter!"
"But..."
"I said next!"
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.10: Dipping the Dragon in.
"Girls, this is dangerous!" Said a guard.
"Just do it!" Said Claire from the other side of the bathroom door.
"*Sigh!* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody....Mary!"
Nothing.
"Okay...I'm alive."
"Next!"
"Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls, Biggie Smalls! Nope!"
"Next one!"
"Muddy Harry, Muddy Harry, Muddy Harry! No monsters still!"
"Do the last one!"
"Bologna Man, Bologna Man...Bologna Man! Okay, guess I'm AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Screamed the guard as he was being ripped to shreds by a man shaped load of bologna!
"Guards! Take care of that for us!"
Then the guards ran to the bathroom to fight the Bologna Man!
"Okay, next....we have an OC, and a sex chapter as well!" Said Claire.
"(Oh-no...)" Thought Lavender.
"Ooh, and she's a dragon!"
"(No! No! No!)"
"Next is...Dragon dip!"
"Phew! Who's Dragondip?"
"Dragon dip is a brown anthropomorphic dragoness with with wings."
"Anthro? So she..."
"Yes, she has breasts. She has amber eyes, she has blonde spines that look more like hair on her head. She has pink ear fins, she's the dragonified version of the OC Honey dip."
"Would it count as double shipping then?"
"No, alternate forms count as different characters, like when Trahzo and Spikerulez302 did separate chapters Twilight Sparkle & Midnight Sparkle on Spike's Gals."
"Oh..."
"Also, it seems that 'almost' all of Dragon dip's pictures feature her bare feet."
"Uh..."
"Well, guess I know what they'll be doing in the sex scene...heh, heh, heh...begin."
Spike was walking, ignoring a happy sounding voice.
"I had fun today!"
"I didn't!"
"Come-on Spike, you spent the whole day with a major cutie, me!"
"Dragon Dip, I have never felt like such a laughingstock in my entire life!"
"It wasn't that bad."
"Not that bad?! You Dipstick! I was..."
"You were cute!"
"I looked stupid!"
"The audience was entertained!"
"I was trying to be cool, to finally impress Rarity, but instead thanks to you running up to the stage, she snuck out of the audience, covering her face with her purse, pretending like she didn't know me so she wouldn't get embarrassed! Even when I embarrassed myself infront of all of Equestria twice, at least my friends all stayed in their seats!"
"Come-on Spike, face facts, it's not like you were gonna get with a mare like that."
Spike then swung a fist at Dragon Dip before stopping a centimeter away from her face. Spike then pulled back. "Dragon Dip, ever since we met, you've done nothing but annoy me! Even so...I don't have the rage to hurt you, don't follow me home."
"Spike..."
The next morning...
Spike woke-up, leaving the windows closed and the curtains down.
"I'm not leaving this room." Spike then wrote a sign and taped it to his bedroom door saying 'Leave me alone!' "It's a good thing I have this bucket of gems to last me the whole day."
That's when he heard a knocking on the door.
"Spike! I-I-I'm heading out! You want anything when I come back?"
"20 tubs of ice cream!"
"A-a-anyhting else?"
"No, and..are you okay Twilight? Why are you stuttering?"
"It's heat season! I'm heading out to finally make Flash mine, bye!" Then like that, Twilight was gone.
"Heat season?"
"That's right Spike." Said Dragon Dip who emerged from his bed sheets.
"Ah! How did you do that?"
"Twilight let me in last night."
"(No wonder the bed felt warmer than usual.)"
"Come-on Spike, let me make it up to you with sex." She offered in a seductive way.
Spike then looked up, before his eyes slowly went down and looked at her breasts covered by his blanket. Spike blushed from the very thought of feeling those up everyday if they were mates. It even made his hemipenis poke out.
"I take it from the starting erection that it's a yes?"
"Yes, but...keep in mind that after foreplay, you're getting fucked very violently."
"I'll take you up on that, now get back to bed and let's start mating season."
Spike then crawled back into his bed and grabbed Dragon Dip's bra and in one fell swoop, took it off, exposing her bare chest.
"Ahn...Wait Spike."
"What?"
"Is this your 1st time?"
"Duh."
"Well, since you're gonna claim me, so I don't have sex with any other guy ever again...would it be fair if we kissed?"
"I never kissed anyone before...usually I get kissed on the cheek..."
"Well bring your head right here virgin and I'll take your 1st kiss."
Spike obliged and puckered his lips as Dragon Dip pressed her own puckered lips against his. Spike kissed her back as his boners got bigger. Spike then squeezed her chest, making Dragon Dip moan in pleasure. Spike then forced his way into her mouth and Dragon Dip let Spike's tongue take her's down. Spike then pulled back with his mouth holding Dragon Dip's tongue before letting go.
"Ooh, that was so kinky." Complimented Dragon Dip. "So, ever heard of the 69 position?"
"I look at a lot of porn, of course I know that."
"Good, now lay down and I'll get on top."
Spike was flat on his back with Dragon Dip's wet pussy dripping it's juices on his face. Dragon Dip had Spike's 2 dicks in her face.
"(2, 7.8 Inch dicks? Tough luck Rarity!)" She thought before she brought her pussy down for Spike to lick it and brought her head down to take both dicks into her mouth. Spike used his thin tongue and licked around the entrance of her pussy.
"Wow, you really do taste like honey."
"Thanks, no-one's ever said that before since they guys I've had before you skipped licking me down there."
"Hmph, they don't know what they're missing."
Spike and Dragon Dip returned to pleasuring each other's privates. Spike then stuck his tongue inside, Dragon Dip then moaned as Spike then grabbed her butt. Dragon Dip & Spike moved faster with their mouths.
"(Here it comes)" They thought in unison.
Spike then found his face covered in Dragon Dip's sacred honey.
"What the? Why'd you stop sucking? I didn't come yet."
"Because, I want to end foreplay with a little...foot play, if you don't mind." She offered.
"My 1st foot job huh? Why not."
Spike then Sat up on his bed as Dragon Dip got off of him and then had one of Spike's dicks in between her toes.
"What about the other one?"
"That's going in my vagina after."
"Ah, okay."
Spike then moaned as Dragon Dip started moving her feet up and down, stroking one of his dicks.
"I'm gonna cum Dragon Dip!"
"Do it Spike!"
Dragon Dip then aimed the dick at her face before Spike shot his seed out, covering her face in it.
"Alright Spike...guess it's time to make some dragon eggs."
"You know it is."
Dragon Dip then laid down on her back as Spike lined up the dick that hadn't cum yet with her pussy. Spike then stuck it in her!
"Ah! Yes!" She moaned.
"Aw-man, it feels so warm inside you!"
"Duh, I'm a dragon."
"Don't be cute, because remember what I said, I'm gonna go wild for what you did last night!"
Spike then ferociously thrust into her womb as he also groped her breasts! Dragon Dip then gripped the edges of the bed as Spike slammed his dick into her like a beast!
"Ow! It's starting to hurt now!"
"Yeah, take it!"
Spike then came inside Dragon Dip! She moaned from the seed Spike had planted into her. Spike then got off Dragon Dip.
"Phew, that was good, now I'm gonna go to the bathroom and take a piss..." Then Spike felt a hand tightly grip his wrist.
"Spike...I've never gotten mad at you before...but look at the state my vagina is in because of you...it fucking hurts!" She then looked at him with red eyes.
"Uh..."
"We aint done!"
That's when she pulled Spike under the blanket!
"AAAAAAAAH!!!" Spike screamed, the sound reverberating around the castle and outside to Ponyville with ponies so horny that they're fucking in publ...wait, is Fluttershy getting gang banged by Big Mac, Discord, Troubleshoes Clyde, Iron Will and Angel? N-never mind.
Spike had found himself getting dominated by Dragon Dip. Spike found himself in the cowgirl position with his hands held down!
"You're gonna get milked dry for what you did!"
"Ah! I'm sorry Dragon Dip!"
"Sorry aint gonna cut it!" She said before Spike came in her again!
Next Spike found himself banging Dragon Dip in the doggy style!
"Come-on you jerk! Gimme all of it!"
Spike then came in her again! They fucked for hours until 10:00 PM, where Spike and Dragon Dip were panting in the cum stained bed.
"I'm....sorry about yelling at you last night, and sorry about hurting your pussy this morning." Spike apologized.
"Aww, you're so sweet Spike!" She then gave Spike a big kiss on the cheek.
"Spiiiiike, I'm home with the ice cream." Said Twilight.
"Sweet! Let's go get chocolate wasted!" Spike said before they ran out of the room.
"Aaaaaaah!" *Crash!*
"Okay, by the looks of things, we're having trouble getting rid of the Bologna Man, uh...I'm sure the problem shall be resolved in the next chapter...
Meanwhile...
The heroes of the side story were all on the train until...*BOOM!* The train cart's walls, seats and ceilings were all blown away!
"What the?!" I gasped.
That's when 4 silhouettes appeared.
"Who are these guys?" Gasped Danville Bengal.
"We're minions of Xutaga, who intend to stop all of you from getting to Manehattan!"Said Lanceblazer17.
"Lanceblazer17? What are you doing? You're on the wrong side!" Said Omnifox.
"No Omnifox, he's being mind controlled!" I told them.
"Guess after we're done with these 3 other guys, we'll have to find a way to free Lance from his mind control!" Said Deezutra. "Honey, you know how to do that right?"
"Of course." Replied Xerena.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"Your 1st opponent shall be me!" Said the robot version of me who then opened fire on Shogun Deezutra, Danville Bengal and Brony Kaiju Soldier!
"Dammit! Why did I have to fight a robot tonight!" He said as the 3 of them ran!
That's when they made it to the edge of the train! Deezutra then pulled out his Ninjaken Sword and Kanabo Club.
"Whoa, nice weapon." Complimented Brony Kaiju Soldier as he pulled out his katana.
"Ah, the most popular sword, are you pray tell a fellow samurai?"
"Yep."
"How about you Danville Bengal?"
"Oh, uh...I'm a psychic."
"Impressive."
"Wait, but you're a pegasus!"
"Yeah, but psychics and magicians are different since we use our brain and magicians learn how to."
"I don't know if that makes any sense, but I'll take it." Said Deezutra.
"I finally caught up to you! Now this is where you die!" That's when Mecha Trahzo began shooting bullets at them but then were stopped by Danville Bengal's telekinesis, and shot right back at him!
"Nice! Now it's our turn fellow Samurai!" Then Deezutra jumped and struck Mecha Trahzo!
"You're gonna have to hit harder than that!" That's when Mecha Trahzo shot a rocket fist which was stopped by Danville Bengal, but then Mecha Trazho warped behind Danville Bengal and struck him with the other rocket fist!
"Ow!" Danville Bengal then fell on the cart in front of them.
That's when Mecha Trahzo expanded both of his hands and attempted to squish Danville Bengal.
"Ah!" He then jumped and flew! Mecha Trahzo then chased after him while shooting bullets! "Help!"
"I got this!" Said Deezutra who pulled out a paint brush and began writing the japanese characters for bomb and fire, creating a lit bomb that he then threw at Mecha Trahzo, exploding on contact!
"Whoa! What was that Deezutra?!" Asked Brony Kaiju Soldier.
"Magic I learned after meeting Samurai Sentai Shikenger."
"Sentai?"
"The japanese Power Rangers."
"Really?"
"Yeah, in fact, in this point, the japanese show should be in the 40th Season."
"40th?!"
"Yeah."
"You're mine nerd!" Shouted Mecha Trahzo!
"Back off!" Then Danvilole Bengal shot a fireball at Mecha Trahzo.
"Ah!"
"What the? Danville Bengal has magic as well?"
"No, it's Pyrokinesis! Psychics are able to create fire with their mind!" Deezutra explained.
"That's so cool!"
"Just a fluke!" Then Mecha Trahzo widened his mouth, charging energy! "Moonlight Laser!"
Then Mecha Trahzo fired a huge blast of laser at Danville Bengal, who then dodged, and then shot another fireball, but then Mecha Trahzo quickly cancelled his laser and then put his arms together for a reflector shield!
"Nice try!" He then turned his attention to Deezutra and Brony Kaiju Soldier. "Get them mini me's!" Then he opened his chest, and miniature versions of Mecha Trahzon with Knife hands started bursting out of him before he returned his attention to Danville Bengal.
"Danville, there's too many of these guys, you gotta help us!"
"Come here!" Said Mecha Trahzo as he boosted his speed towards Danville Bengal.
"Aaah!" Then he dodged as Mecha Trahzo turned back around.
"Come-on man!"
"Whoa! Sorry! I can't! I'm too distracted by this crazy robot! Why did it have to be a robot?!" Complained Danville Bengal.
"Come on Soldier, I need your help for this technique that only 2 samurai are capable of!"
"Okay."
"Now, stand back-to-back!"
Then the 2 of them stood with their backs to each other as the Mini Mecha Trahzo's jumped at them and as a tornado arose from the ground!
"Cut Tornado!"
Then they spun around rapid fast as blades and robo parts twirled around the tornado!
"Great job!"
"Thanks."
"How does this guy have so much bullets?" Said Danville Bengal.
"Freeze Ray!" Then Mecha Trahzo shot a beam of ice at Danville Bengal, freezing his wings!
"My wings! Dammit!" Then as he was falling to the ground..."Okay Danny focus..."
Then a chunk of ground arose from and became a platform that he landed on.
"What?!"
"Geokinesis, the psychic power to control earth rock as well? So much power in this boy! I wonder if he's strong enough for that technique."
"What technique Deezutra?"
"Alright Brony Kaiju Soldier, I need you to distract Mecha Trahzo!"
"What?!"
"Just do it soldier! I'm a Shogun! I our rank you! Now go, go, go!"
"Bwuh! Okay!"
Brony Kaiju Soldier then jumped and started trying to attack Mecha Trahzo!
"Your sword's a joke, you couldn't cut arts and crafts with that!"
"Oh yeah? You couldn't hit a Blue Whale with those bullets!"
"Danville Bengal!"
"Huh?"
"I know you're new, but please, you gotta listen to me right now while Brony Kaiju Soldier is distracting Mecha Trahzo!"
"Okay, I'll try!"
"Bite my shiny metal ass!"
"Your ass aint that shiny, in fact it's rusty!"
"At least I don't go down in one bullet! Like what I'm gonna do to you!" Then Mecha Trahzo began shooting again!
"Aaaaaaaah...." That's when Mecha Trahzo warped and decked him!
"Hey metal ripoff!"
"Huh?"
That's when we see Danville Bengal with a blade of psychic energy.
"What is that?"
"It's a psychic knife! A thin and sharp projectile attack that psychics are capable of and it can cut through anything!"
"So basically, you taught Danville Bengal, Krillin's Destructo Disc from DBZ?" Said Brony Kaiju Soldier.
"Yes, now get out of the fucking way!"
"Ha! As if I'd let you hit me with that." Then Mecha Trahzo flew at Deezutra and Danville Bengal.
"(He's gonna dodge by warping! I gotta do something!)" Thought Brony Kaiju Soldier.
"Shoot it now!"
"Take this!" Danville Bengal then shot the psychic knife!
"Now!" Said Mecha Trahzo.
"(Now!)" Thought Brony Kaiju Soldier.
Mecha Trahzo was about to warp, but his warp was corrupted as Brony Kaiju Soldier's katana hit him in the middle of his warp sequence!
"Wh..." Was all the evil robot counterpart of me could say before seeing the psychic knife cut through his body, separating his torso and legs! "My body...why you..." Then the robot was finished off as a boulder crushed him!
"You did well in your 1st fight new guys." Deezutra complimented.
"Thanks, now let's see how the others are doing." Said Danville Bengal before they all ran to the next battle.
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.11: Sisters Stories: The Rainbow Unicorn Sisters.
"Next is...Rainberry and her sister Rainbow Stars?" Lavender Questioned .
"Oh, I know these 2, they were the unicorn sisters in the Brotherhooves Social episode, you know, when Big Mac disguised himself as cousin Orchard Blossom?" Said Claire.
"Ah, now I remember." Lavender recalled.
"For those of you reading who don't remember or haven't watched Brotherhooves Social, fuck you, because spoilers!" Said Claire "Anyways, Rainberry is the little sister, she has a pale green coat, no cutiemark, red bangs, blue eyes and a blue bow."
"Wait, bangs?"
"Don't worry Lavender, the Twilight disease that Trahzo is theorizing has not affected her, that's her natural mane."
"Phew."
"And then Rainbow Stars, she's the older sister with a pale white coat, blue eyes, red mane and tail with orange accents, a blue bow in her mane and one in her tail, her cutiemark is a rainbow with clouds on the ends and a blue star on the right end."
"What kind of talent is that?"
"I dunno...but since it was implied that they sang in the episode before Applebloom and Big Mac in that episode, Trahzo is gonna have father make great music with these 2." Said Crystal Clarity.
"Yay! I always loved it when daddy played his piano...he only worked as a back-up singer though, begin now."
"Alright little sis, one more time!"
"You got it big sis!"
A filly and a mare were practicing their singing in a field, unaware of you know who, napping against a tree. Spike slowly awoke from the wonderful sounds of their voices.
"Huh? Wuzzat?" He mumbled. He got up, yawned and then walked around the tree. "Oh hey, I know those 2, they were in the Sisterhooves Social...if only Twilight or Cadence were allowed in, but nope, you need someone who's currently a filly...Cadence and Twilight could've mopped the floor with them all...Still, nice pipes." He whispered.
"Not bad Rainberry." Said Rainbow Stars.
"I think you did great as well Rainbow Stars." Replied Rainberry.
That's when Spike slipped over and fell on his back, giving away his position.
"Huh?"
"Who's there?"
Spike then got back up. "Uh...hey there..."
"Hello, I'm Rainberry."
"Rainberry, didn't mom and dad say not to talk to strangers?"
"Oh...but...I've seen him walking around Ponyville with the princess a lot, I thought it would be safe this time."
"Yeah, that's me, Spike, the princess' assistant, I was just taking a nap until I woke up to some wonderful singing."
Rainberry blushed.
"Oh, thank you Spike, we've actually been practicing for the talent show."
"And I can tell you 2 are gonna do great....uh..."
"I'm Rqinbow Star."
"You're gonna do great Rainbow Star and Rainberry."
"Thanks...but unfortunately our record player broke so no musical accompaniment."
"Well, it just so happens that I'm pretty good on the piano." Spike bragged. "Sorry if I was bragging."
"No, actually, this is perfect." Said Rainbow Stars.
"Yeah, Rainbows Stars, Rainberry and Spike, a fun band, it'll be awesome! You 2 meet me at the castle later, I'm gonna go get my piano polished!" Spike said before running off.
"Hey! Wait...darn it!"
"Nopony's ever told us to our face that they like our singing, we just get applause implying that they loved us. Seeing that happen..." Then Rainberry started poking at the grass.
"Ooooh, somepony wanna be this dragon's kidnapped princess?" Rainbow Stars joked.
"No! Also, don't say it like that!" She said while flailing her hooves, not really hurting Rainbow Stars.
"Haha, okay okay..."
Later...they were at the castle.
"Huh, a princess, a dragon and a castle, if we had a heroic stallion, then a romance movie would definitely happen." Said Rainbow Stars.
"Or replace the dragon and hero with a fire breathing turtle and a plumber in overalls." Said Rainberry.
The sisters laughed for a while before walking in...
"Look at this place...it's huge." Said Rainbow Stars.
"Spike? Oh Spike!"
"Over here girls!" Spike called.
They followed his voice to a room filled wit nothing, nothing but musical instruments.
"Ah, you too are looking very lovely this afternoon." Spike greeted.
"Flattery will get you nowhere, but thanks." Rainbiw Stars replied with a joking wink.
"Heh...thanks."
"Alrighty, now soothing singers..." Spike then tipped the metronome making it tick. "...Let us begin."
As the 2 sang and Spike played, Rainberry and Rainbow Stars improved more and more, even having a routine where part of it features Rainberry sitting next to Spike. Rainberry was a little nervous about it, but got more comfortable as they practiced more and more. Eventually, Spike stopped the metronome.
"Alright ladies, break time. You stay there, and I'll be back with snacks for all of us."
As soon as Spike left...
"Wow, Spike's very talented...how come he's never participated in a talent show?" Said Rainbow Stars.
"Beat's me, but hey, with him helping us, this will be his 1st time I guess."
Spike then later returned with a plate of cookies with chocolate milk. "Here girls, I made these cookies myself."
"What?"
"Dang, you are a very talented dragon Spike." Rainbow Stars complimented. "If a dragon could ever get a cutiemark, I'd say you would have a....jack of all trades."
"I thought you said flattery would get me nowhere, why is a lovely mare like you complimenting me now?" Spike said with a smile and narrowed eyes.
"It's true, you know." She replied with the same look. "What I said, and what you said about me being cute earlier."
Spike and Rainbow Stars were in a trance like state before Rainberry broke the silence between them.
"Um...excuse me?" Said Rainberry.
That broke them out of the trance like state.
"Yep?"
"What's up little sis?"
"Sh-shouldn't we be getting back to practice?"
"Ah, yeah! We should."
"Definitely."
"(Sorry Rainbow Stars, but I want Spike...)"
"(After we win the singing portion, Spike will be getting a kiss from me...and Rainberry, because I know you're crushing on him, the blushing from being near him and hearing his nice words, is obvious.)"
Next week, the talent show came...
"Alright...we're up next...ready babes?" Spike asked.
"We're ready to break a leg out there."
"Yes Spike, as long as I have 2 on stage, I'm confident enough that we'll win."
All 3 hugged before getting on stage.
After that, it was time for the reward ceremony.
"The winners of the music portion are...Spike, Rainberry and Rainbow Stars!" Cheerilee announced.
After everyone got their rewards, they were all backstage.
"We did it girls!"
"And it's all thanks to you!" Said Rainbow Stars before kissing Spike on the cheek.
"Wow!"
"What the?" Shouted Rainberry in shock.
"Sorry Rainberry, but the more we returned compliments, I kinda fell for him."
"But, I wanted him..."
"Don't worry, we can share him."
"Wait, how did you fall for me?"
"You were the 1st, and so far only to tell us to our face that we're good, without us implying that they loved it and you've been so sweet to me during our practice." Rainberry explained.
"Well, since Rainbow Stars didn't take my 1st kiss, feel like having it?"
Rainberry nodded before using her magic to pull him closer to kiss her!
"Aww..now isn't that sweet?" Said Rainbow Stars as she watched them kissing.
"Dammit! The Bologna Man is still running loose! Still, those 2 sisters may have won a medal, but Spike won a medal and 2 kisses, hahahahaha..." Said Crystal Clarity.
*Crash!* *Bash!*
"Oh-no, he's found more luncheon meat!" Gasped Lavender. "He's getting stronger!"
"Aw-man...we need someone's help, but the side story heroes are busy trying to stop another threat!"
"I got this one!" Said Discord who snapped his fingers, sending the Bologna Man away.
"There, you don't have to deal with him until...a certain chapter, why did the Game Grumps have to make up such a stupid monster and why did Trahzo have to put it in this story?"
"Well, guess that's settled...next chapter now."
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.12: Sister Stories: The Cotton Pegasus Sisters.
"Next is...Cotton Sky and Cotton Puff, the pegasus sisters with the huge curly hair."
"More characters from Brotherhooves Social?"
"I guess so sister. Anyways, Cotton Sky is the older sister. She's a I think pale blue, not sure what shade the coat is, but my goodness her Pink mane and tail are so big and puffy! She had magenta eyes, but we didn't get a good look at her cutiemark. As for Cotton Puff, the younger sister, she has the same coat as her sister, I think olive colored eyes and she uses hairbands with the balls to hold up her pink and puffy mane and tail as well, she has no cutiemark."
"Not much huh?"
"Yeah, but Trahzo has done with less, now begin!"
Spike was falling out of the sky because his parachute was defective!
"*Sigh* This is the end isn't it?" Spike complained.
But that's when...
"Huh, so this is what Heaven feels like...I thought the clouds would be more fluffy and less hairy..."
"Uh...You aren't in Heaven."
"What?!" Spike then lifted his head up.
"Yeah...so can you get off me?"
"Oh, sorry about that..." Spike hopped off, right next to a pegasus filly.
"So who are you & why did you fall on my mane?"
"I'm Spike the dragon, I was skydiving but the cords broke and the parachute refused to open!"
"Well, it's a good thing you landed on me, I'm Cotton Sky."
"Hey Cotton Sky." Then he turned his attention to the filly."...and I can only assume you're Cotton Sky's sister?"
"Yep, I'm Cotton Puff."
"Nice to meet you Cotton Puff. Well, I don't have anymore plans, I'm gonna home."
"Wait."
"Huh, what?"
"Since you have no more plans, want to hangout with us?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, my BFF was supposed come with us, but caught a cold."
"Come with you where?"
"To the Cotton Candy Cafe."
"Oh, you mean that new place that opened up?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"Guess it's a date." Cotton Puff joked.
"Yeah, your date, he's too young for me, I'm merely the adult supervision." Cotton Sky countered, making her sister blush.
Later they were at Cotton Candy Cafe.
"So Sky & Puff, do you know who Cotton Candy is?"
"Yeah, she's a cousin from a faraway land."
"Huh...what made her move?"
Then the whole room suddenly went dark!
"Wh-what the?"
Then Sky and Puff placed a hoof on Spike.
"Uh..."
"She moved here after an ultra powerful tsunami ravaged her home with her as the only survivor!"
Spike was so scared that he should be shitting, but thank goodness he didn't as the room went back to normal.
"You don't say..."
"Yeah, and we're here to support her!" Said Cotton Sky.
"She might not have had a good idea opening here, but on the bright side, she can mix healthy and sweet."
"Wow...really?"
"It's true, she once made a blueberry and broccoli pie for a friend who's obsessed with the color green." Cotton Puff told him
"Now that's pretty weird..."
"She comes from a land of morons...hopefully Equestria will boost her intelligence." Cotton Sky said as the other 2 laughed.
So after having some healthy sweets, Spike & the Cotton Sisters left the cafe.
"That was pretty good." Spike said before it started raining!
"Rainbow! What the heck?"
"Sorry Spike, scheduled."
"Aaaah! Our manes!"Shouted Cotton Sky. "How could I have forgotten to check the weather?!"
"Aww...this rain is making our manes all wet and flat." Cotton Puff said in a disappointed tone.
"Carousel Boutique is too far from here!"
"Don't worry, come with me and I'll blow dry your manes back to normal." Spike told them.
"Are you sure?"
"As sure as Bunnicula being a good show."
"I...actually can't argue..." Then they followed Spike through the rain and back to his home.
"Alright ladies, who wants to be blow dried by a dragon?"
"That sounds very weird."
"Come on, face me as I blow hot air all over your head."
Cotton Sky then went 1st as Spike inhaled and instead of blowing fire, blue some hot air all over her.
"Yes...that feels relaxing..."
"Thanks." Spike said before returning to blowing on Cotton Sky's mane.
"Whoa sis, your mane is back to it's normal form and volume."
And then...
"Alright Sky, raise your head." And like that, she was given a mirror.
"Well, how do you..." Then Spike felt a kiss on his cheek!
"I love it!"
"My turn Spike! Quick before my mane dries!"
"Don't worry, I'll get to you."
Spike then began blowing hot air all over Puff's wet mane until it was as poofy as her sister's.
"Alright, you're all done, now tell me..." Then Spike gave her the mirror. "...Do I make a good hajr dryer?"
"Oh my gosh Spike...you're the best blow dryer dragon I've ever met!" Then she kissed Spike's cheek.
"Aw-geez...I never thought I'd get a kiss from a pair of sisters." Spike said as he scratched the back of his head.
"So Spike...it's pretty cold..."
"Feel like warming-up in bed?" Spike asked. "I'll get a guest room re..."
"Oh-no...I was thinking we shared the bed."
Spike and Cotton Puff blushed.
"Uh...sure...I'm totally down with that."
"Me too."
Then Spike laid in between the Cotton sisters in his bed before getting another kiss from both.
"Thanks again."
"Heheh...it was my pleasure..."
"Alright, so Trahzo did the Unicorns and Pegasi sisters...if you guys remember Brotherhooves Social, then you know who's last."
View Online
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.13: Sister Stories: The Mystifying Earth Sisters.
"Next is...Sugar stix and Vaportrail." Crystal Clarity announced.
"The last sisters of the Brotherhooves Social?"
"Yep, so the the older sister is Vaportrail is the older sister with the light pink coat, light blue mane & tail, and light purple eyes."
"That's a lot of light."
"Yeah, but at least the younger sister Sugar Stix has a darker shade of all of Vaportrail's colors, except she has pig tails."
"Alright so what about cutiemarks?"
"They weren't shown in the show..."
"Dammit!"
"Don't worry if Season 6 brings them back, maybe we'll see them then."
"Yeah, who knows?" Said Lavender. "Begin the chapter!"
Spike was walking through the night until he suddenly was engulfed in some fog.
"What the? What's with this light blue & white mist?"
He then saw it trail to somewhere in Ponyville. Peaking Spike's curiosity, he followed it to a house with the front door left open.
"...Okay Spike...what are you gonna do?" He asked himself. "Go home and get a good night's rest or let your curiosity force you into the house with an open door and the mysterious mist?"
Half a minute later, Spike was in the house.
"Against my better judgement indeed." Spike said to himself as he walked in. "Uh...I saw the mist leaking from your house." Spike called.
No answer...
"Hello?"
Then suddenly, the door slammed closed!
"Ah!" Spike gasped. "You know what? I'll come back during the day!"
Spike tried to pry the door open but it was no use! "Uh...listen, I bet you're very nice, but I'm very scared! I wanna go home now!"
It was no use, the door wouldn't budge.
"Maybe if I..." Then he blew fire on the door, but as a surprise twist! The door was made of metal! "You gotta be kidding me..."
That's when some dim light turned on revealing the fog.
"It's that mist again..." Spike gulped. "Whatever happens...I'll take it head on, I'm a dragon for crying out loud!"
He followed it into an upstairs bedroom.
"Aw-man aw-man, please don't tell me I'll die!"
And then the door slammed shut!
"What the?!"
"Well Sugar Stix, looks like our trap worked."
"Indeed it did."
"Trap?"
"Hey there, I'm Vaportrail." The mare greeted.
"I'm Sugar Stix." The filly greeted. "And you are?"
"I'm Spike...what kind of trap is this?"
"Well Spike, we used this mist we made to lure a potential boyfriend into our home."
"Excuse me?"
"Yes...we are that lonely..." Then the 2 sisters bowed their head down in self disappointment.
"Sorry for making you come here Spike...we just want a guy."
"Uh...then why don't you just go walk up to a guy and ask him out?" Spike suggested.
"As if! We wanna share a boyfriend and every stallion I've asked out said no to wanting both me and the package deal!" Vaportrail replied while pointing to Sugar Stix!
"Yes, if they wanna kiss and date my sister, then they gotta kiss and date me as well."
Spike was sweat dropping so hard from this!
"But now that we've caught you..." Then Spike was then sandwiched in between them. "...How about it? Want to date us?"
"I suppose it wouldn't hurt, but we gotta go-on date to test compatibility 1st."
"Okay, so where's our 1st date?" Asked Vaportrail.
"I have a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala tomorrow!"
At 1st, the sisters were in an a hundred yard stare.
"Sugar Stix, turn off the lights."
"Okay."
"Huh?" Spike questioned.
The lights went off and then Spike got kissed in tandem!
"Whoa!"
"Thank you!" *Kiss!*
"Thank you!" *Kiss!*
"Thank you!" *Kiss!*
"Thank you!" *Kiss!*
Spike was then taken to the bed!
"What the?"
"Goodnight!" Then the sisters fell asleep in his arms.
"(Dang...didn't expect that...I wonder what the date will be like though tomorrow night.)"
The next night came and all 3 were at Canterlot.
"Wooow...Sugar Stix, we really hit the jackpot!"
"Yes we did Vaportrail, WE'RE IN THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA!!!"
"Now now, calm down girls, let's just continue with this date."
"Of, sorry Spike."
"Yeah, we got carried away."
"It's fine, now then ladies..." Then Spike held out his hands. "Care to come with me?"
Spike then lead them to the balcony.
"Hey Luna."
"Ah, if it isn't young Spike & who might you 2 be?"
"They are Vaportrail & Sugar Stix! They're my dates."
"You've captured the hearts of 2 ponies?"
"Yep."
"That he did."
That's when Sugar Stix took out a pixie stick and ate it to calm down.
"Well, you 2 seem like nice enough girls, take care of my nephew will you? He tends to run off and get donut & hot chocolate drunk if he's not interacting that much with his friends." Then Luna flew off.
"Hey! That's not true! Come back here...*Sigh!* So, how was meeting Princess Luna?"
"What did she mean by nephew?"
"Oh uh...I was adopted by Princess Celestia for a while before being given to Princess Twilight..."
"You're the son of 2 princesses?!" Sugar Stix gasped.
"Yep."
"But not in a lesbian way?"
"I...guess?"
"Spike, how did we get so lucky?"
"Who knows?"
"Well, I'm happy with it!"
"Me too!"
"Great, so you girls wanna eat then dance?"
"Heck yeah!"
"Well then, come with me!"
Later they had just finished some food and were ready for a dance!
"Alright, hope you're light on your feet!" Spike then took Sugar Stix!
"Aaah!" Sugar Stix screamed. "Wait, please Spike, let me calm down with some sugar fi..." Too late! As the 2 spun around on the dance floor, Sugar Stix decided to dazzle the people by throwing the contents of her pixie stix around! Giving off the illusion of fairy dust! Spike then let go.
"Alright Vaportrail, your turn!" Spike then held out his arm and then she unleashed some mist, to make the illusion more real!
"You're light on your feet."
"Thanks earth pony who can somehow use magic...then again I shouldn't say that since you're not the 1st earth ponies I've seen use magic."
"You're welcome."
After they were finished, everyone applauded them.
Later...
"So Spike, are we compatible?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Yeah, I really enjoyed our time together and I'd like another date later this week."
That's when Spike's entire body was enveloped in fog and all 3 of them were silhouetted before Spike got kissed in tandem by the both of them again!
"Wow, I don't think Trahzo has ever done the censored kiss ending before."
"And what a clever way to do it."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.14:Time for Some Super Strong Action!
"Wow, seems like Trahzo has been waiting for this next ship." Said Crystal Clarity.
"Who is it?"
"Lily Longsocks."
"Whoa! You mean that Super Strong Filly with the Hedgehog Cutiemark?"
"Yes, and...oh dear...it seems Trahzo is gonna do an action packed battle in this one! Hmph, can't wait to see what happens, begin!"
Spike was playing with a new friend in Fluttershy's backyard. This new friend was a filly with a pink coat, baby blue eyes, 2 shades of dark purple in her tied up mane & tail and a hedgehog cutiemark.
"I'm gonna squirt you Lily Longsocks!" Spike laughed.
"Not if I squirt you 1st Spike!" Laughed Lily Longsocks.
They were shooting each other with water guns. Then ran for cover as she lifted a rock and put it in front of her to shield herself from Spike.
"Hey, no fair!" Spike said as he ran over to shoot her with the water gun!
"Hmhmhm..." Fluttershy giggled as she watched them while sipping her tea.
"Lily?" Spike walked around the rock and then took aim! "Aha...huh?" Lily was not behind the rock, she was behind Spike!
"Gotcha!" Lily shot water all over Spike! "Game over! I win!"
Spike and Lily laughed together as they played the day away.
"Wow Lily, you're such a fun & super strong girl, I'm so glad I met you!"
"No, I should be glad to meet you Spike!"
*Flashback!*
"I thought there was no hope for me after my parents died in that house fire, but then you introduced me to Fluttershy and she's been the best mommy ever!"
*Flashback over!*
Then Lily Longsocks gave Spike a gentle hug, making him blush.
"Aw-geez, you're never gonna let that go are yah?"
"Why should I? You're my hero Spike!"
The 2 kids stared in each other's eyes.
"Spike! Twilight's here."
That broke their silence.
"W-well...guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you later Longsocks!"
Though they promised to see each other tomorrow, she had no idea of the tragedy that would befall them!
The next day...
"*Yawn!*" Lily Longsocks woke-up with Archangel Rabbit, Angel's kinder little brother on her bed.
"Morning Archangel, how's my fuzzy buddy doing?" Archangel then nuzzled her cheek. "Haha..."
Lily then made it to the living room to see Fluttershy talking with someone.
"What was that Zecora?"
"Spike can't survive what will happen to him.
"M...mommy?"
They then turned their attention to Lily Longsocks.
"Oh...no..."
"What's gonna happen to Spike?"
"Now now my little hedgehog, j-just calm down and we'll t-tell you..." Fluttershy said with tears in her eyes.
They then explained the situation.
"So...Spike is going through a certain stage in his dragon puberty."
"You mean...his greed?"
"No, little filly.
"Yes...as it turns out, Spike is beginning to develop venom like a snake, but he can't keep it in the venom sacks, if he doesn't drink water from the Zeo Springs located in the Dragonlands, he'll die!"
Lily couldn't believe what she heard!
"Where is Spike right now?"
"Poor dragon is in comatose,
"It's the 1st stage of his death...he's gonna die in 4 days!"
"What?!"
"Rainbow Dash has volunteered to help, but even though she is fast, she doesn't have the strength to take down an entire kingdom of dragons!"
"Then let me go!"
Fluttershy & Zecora gasped.
"No! It's to dangerous to a youth,
"Don't you dare finish that rhyme Zecora!" Then she stomped the ground! The whole cottage shook, causing the animals to run & fly around. " I already lost my parents! I REFUSE TO LOSE ANOTHER LOVED ONE!!! I AM GOING WITH RAINBOW DASH TO GET THAT SPRING WATER AND SAVE SPIKE!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!" Her booming shouts were like that of a lion and thunder roaring at the same time!
Fluttershy and Zecora stood there in shock of what she said to them.
"What an out of line child.
"Zecora..." Then she signaled to whisper in Zecora's ear."...Look at the love in her eyes, she has the same level of love I had after Discord was close to dying from that fight with that monster! Discord was so close to death, but I believed that he'd be better, even though I was a minute late to bring the herb, Discord was able to hang on long enough to be saved! That's why...she's going with Rainbow Dash to the dragonlands to save Spike!"
"Even though it's only been a few months since you've went into true parenthood,
"Trust me Zecora, she can do it!"
"If you say so
Later, after lunch, Lily Longsocks and Rainbow Dash were ready to go.
"Alright Lily, you say bye to your mom and friends?"
"Yes."
"Good, now hold on tight! Dragonlands! Here we come!" Then Lily and Dashy flew off to the Dragonlands to get water from the Zeo Springs!
"Rainbow Dash, so where are the Zeo Springs?"
"At the heart of the Dragonlands kid and I heard a dangerously powerful guardian protects it from non-dragon intruders."
"Alright, but just let you know, no matter how deadly, they wont intimidate me!"
"Wow, you really like Spike dontcha?"
"I'm gonna confess to him once he wakes up!"
"Haha...that's what I like to hear!"
A while later, the Dragonlands where in clear view, but something else was in view as well!
"Alright, 5 dragons, is your super strength ready hedgehog girl?"
"Bring 'em on!"
"Roger!" That's when she grabbed Lily Longsocks and threw her at a dragon!
As soon as she was in front, with one good punch, she smashed the side of the dragon's skull, sending him down! That's when she was caught in a dragons mouth!
"lily!" RD gasped.
That's when Lily Longsocks forced the dragon's mouth open and with one good punch, took off a tooth and then used the tooth to stab through the top into it's brain! Lily quickly hopped out and onto RD's back!
"That was hardcore! Now it's my turn!"
Then Rainbow Dash unleashed her Buccaneer Blaze! Taking out one of the 3 remaining dragons! One of the dragons then blew fire! Lily jumped off of RD and onto the other dragon as Rainbow Dash caught the fire in a wind tunnel and fired it right back at the dragon! Lily then grabbed a wing and ripped it right off of the 2nd to last dragon left in the sky! The dragon fell but Lily was caught by Rainbow Dash!
"Alright, ready? I'm gonna do a Sonic Rainboom on this last guy!" Rainbow Dash held Lily In front as she unleashed the destructive boost of speed! Then with one hard, highspeed punch...the last enemy dragon's head blew-up into a bloody mess!
Then they brave heroines made it to the ground and began their journey on foot.
Meanwhile...
"Whaaaaaaaat?!"
"You heard me Discord..."
"B-b-b-b-but...I didn't expect my bestest friend in the world to-to actually confess to me!"
"Well, after seeing the determination and love in my daughter's eyes...it prompted me to propose to you Discord."
"Well, uh..I dunno...this is so sudden...will your daughter be okay with me and Screwball living with you 2 in your cottage?"
"Discord, she lost a mom and a dad, she will be just as happy knowing she got a big sister as a bonus."
Discord was at huge loss for words as Fluttershy's friends stared from the bushes, smiling.
"*Random nervous gibberish!*"
"You don't need to say anything, your nervousness is obviously a yes." Then she hugged him and Discord hugged back.
The next day, Lily and Rainbow Dash were walking through huge forest, a dirt road in the middle of a land teaming with trees.
"There's the gate to the Zeo Springs!"
"But...where's the guardian?"
"Who cares? We're gonna save Spike noaaaaaah!" Rainbow Dash was caught in a steel cage! "Dang!"
"Rainbow Dash, are you okay?"
"Hey you ponies!"
They turned to see a teenage dragon who looks like Titanosaurus with wings.
"Garble?" Gasped Rainbow Dash. "You're the guardian?"
"Yeah, I'm the new guardian of the Zeo Springs! What are you and this punk ass kid doing here?"
"We need the water from the Zeo Spring to save Spike!"
"Spike? Oh shit! Is he getting venom already? In that case, no! I'm gonna kill you guys which will in turn kill that pansy!"
Lily Longsocks then stood up on her hind legs and grit her teeth in anger!
"What's wrong kid? You hate me? Good! I hate your kind in general!"
"You Anus Face! I'm taking that water, whether you let me or not! Nothing is gonna stop me from saving my special somedragon!"
"Hah! Now aint that cute! Come here you little shit!" Garble then flew at Lily who dodged and grabbed Garble by the tail before whipping him back and onto a tree!
"Strong kid, but you got lucky!" Then Garble shot fire balls! Lily punched down a tree and used the fire balls to turn it into a torch that she threw at the gates! Shattering them! Lily Longsocks then bent the bars of RD's cage.
"Go get the water Rainbow Dash! I'll hold off Garble!"
"On it!"
"I don't think soaaaaaah!" Garble barely missed getting hit by a tree!
"You scream like a baby girl!" Lily Longsocks taunted.
"No I doaaaaaah! Stop throwing tree..." Garble was finally hit with a tree!
Garble then pushed the tree off of him!
"Okay kid! That's it!" Then he flew faster at her! NO MORE MR.NICE DRAG..." He was unable to finish that sentence for his body turned into a bloody accordion with bones and guts sticking out from the side because of how he was punched real hard!
"Hey Lily, I got the..................Zeo Spring Water......."
"We can save Spike now? Hooray!"
"(Okay, mental note, if Spike's in life threatening danger by some bad guy, have Lily kill it's ass!)"
Lily and RD made it back to Ponyville with only a day left! Everyone of Spike's loved ones rushed to the hospital as Spike was given the water. Twilight was pacing back and forth, Shining Armor and Cadance sat in worry, Discord was comforting Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, RD, Rarity and Applejack were crossing their hooves, Starlight Glimmer & Sunset Shimmer tried to put on a brave face, Mr. & Mrs. Cake held each other's hooves as Pound & Pumpkin played with Flurry Heart, Moondancer, Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine and Minuette were biting their lip, Donut Joe closed up shop early and brought in a box of Spike's favorite donuts in hopes that he was better, the CMC where looking at their sisters with a lot of worry, Big Mac tried to keep himself from crying, in fact the entire Crystal Empire were right outside the hospital, awaiting the news of their hero! Meanwhile, Lily was just standing there.
"...I can't take it!"
"Lily? What's wrong my little hedgehog?"
"It's been 2 hours since we got the water, when is he gonna wake-up?!"
"Don't worry Lily, Zecora verified that he will wake-up." Said Twilight.
"So why isn't h..."
"Spike's gonna be okay!" Nurse Redheart called.
Everyone gasped and smiled!
"I gotta tell the citizens!" Prince Shining Armor said as he ran outside!
Lily was then racing with Pinkie and the CMC to give Spike a big hug! Spike then walked out of his hospital room.
"Huh?"
"SPIKE!!! I LOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!" She announced as she tackled Spike in a big hug and kisses!
"Lil, Mph, hmmm! Mmmh!"
Then Lily pulled back.
"Spike...I was the one who saved you!"
"You did?"
"Yes! And I promised myself to confess after you woke-up! I love you so much!"
"Aww...I actually developed some feelings for you as, MMPH HMMM!!!" Spike was bombarded by her lips.
Everyone cried with tears of joy after seeing that Spike was okay!
"Now that you're safe, you now have venom!"
"Now way! Rad!" Spike jumped up and smiled as he hugged Lily Longsocks.
After that, Spike and Lily Longsocks fought to protect Ponyville from threat after threat as Spike gained more and more reptilian powers and then one day...get married.
"Wow, that was an awesome chapter!"
"I enjoyed that a lot Lavender! But after that, who's Trahzo's next ship?"
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.15: The Bond Between Servants.
"Next is...Tote Bag from Crusaders of the Lost Mark."
"Who's Tote Bag?"
"She was one of the maids who were helping Spoiled Rich with shopping."
"Which one?"
"The purple one with the dark blue mane and baby blue eyes."
"Oh, she seemed so sad, must be because of Spoiled Rich, that mean mare with the pointy nose."
"Well, since Tote Bag's with Spike in this one, hopefully she will be freed of her pain, begin."
"Tote Bag!" Called a shrill female voice! "I'm going out to shop!"
"I'm coming mistress Rich!" Replied Tote Bag the maid.
Then she arrived to the foyer.
"About time! I have a lot of shopping to get done!"
"W-where-where...where are the...others?"
"They are all out helping my husband and daughter, you're the only one left!"
"(Crap!)"
"Now come along!"
Meanwhile...
"Spiiiike." Called a sweet voice.
"Coming Twilight." Called a smiling and ready Spike the dragon.
"Alright Spike, we have a huge day ahead of us, ready?"
"For you? Always!"
"Sweet!"
The day began at 6 in the morning 15 hours of a busy day later, both parties made it home at 9PM sharp!
"Family...I'm hooooome!" called Spoiled Rich.
Tote Bag just walked in, very exhausted with all sorts of bags on her back, mouth and tail.
"Tote Bag, thank you for assisting me, I might just even give you a raise, underline, I might. Now, leave those bags anywhere in the foyer, will you? Thanks." As Spoiled Rich exited the foyer, Tote Bag finally collapsed.
"Whyyyyyyyy..." She said in pain, with her voice, so dry for not drinking water all day.
Meanwhile...
"What a long day, good thing I had you there to help Spike."
"*Yawn!*...yeah...my favorite part was the fun party at the end..." Spike said with sleepy eyes.
"Brush your teeth, and then get some rest, okay?"
"Good idea, that's why you're the smart one of the dynamic du...ooooo...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." Spike fell face 1st on the crystal floor of the castle.
"*giggle!" Then Twilight levitated the sleeping dragon and tucked him into bed. "Goodnight Spike..."
The next day, Twilight and Spoiled Rich received letters.
"Hmm...Spike?"
"Tote Bag!"
Both arrived to their respective bosses.
"Yep Twi?"
"Yes mistress?"
"This letter says you haven't taken a vacation for a year! If I don't give you one, then you I'm getting fined!" They said simultaneously.
"Really?" They replied simultaneously.
"Yes, this letter also has a ticket to a cruise ship just for you." Then they gave their respective employee the ticket.
"(Freedom!) Thank you mistress!"
"..."
"What's wrong Spike?"
"Is it really okay for me to go? I might get lost on such a big boat."
"I'd like to come with you, but this ship is reserved for employees who haven't had a vacation in a year, I'm sorry I can't go with you on the huge ship."
"Well...if you can't come as a boss...can you come with me as a parent?"
"*GASP!*" Twilight's eyes sparkled as she hugged him! "Yes oh yes! Son!"
Later on the cruise ship...
"Party!" Dadadada dun dun!
"Popcorn!" Dun dun dun dun dun dun!
"Pokemon!" Dadadada dun dun!
"Ponies!" Dun dun dun dun dun dun!"
Every last creature danced in a huge conga line! Spike then took a break from the party to the buffet table! Spike had a huge plate of pizza, french fries, curly fries, carrot dogs, hayburgers, onion rings, mozzarella sticks, cheese cake and garlic bread along with a huge glass of soda!
"*Sigh!* The food coma inducing heaven known as cruise ship food!" Spike commented, he soon ate everything. "Boy am I stuffed!" Then he patted his full belly.
*Aggressive chewing!*
"Huh?" Spike looked around.
*More aggressive chewing!*
"Uh..."
That's when a scrap of food hit the back of his head. "Huh?" As he turned his head, he found the source of the aggressive chewing.
"Hey, I know you, you're that maid I saw yesterday."
*Aggressive chewing!*
"Huh, you must've been very stressed to eat like a monster, hahaha..."
*Aggressive chewing.*
"Hmm...hey hot stuff, you wanna go on a date? If you don't answer, I'll take it as a no!"
"Okay."
"What?"
"I said I'll go on a date with you! These stallions are ignoring me just because I'm "
"I-I was just joking!"
"Too late, I'm getting a guy, whether they want em or not and I wont take no for an answer!" She said, like some woman, who's desperate for a date.
Meanwhile in the anime No-Rin!
"Achoo!" Sneezed Ms.Becky in a squeaky voice. "Just call me, Ms.Mousy!"
"Hell no you 40 something loser!" The entire class shouted back in sheer annoyance.
Now back to Spike & Tote Bag.
"Rats! (I was hoping my 1st date was Rarity.)" He thought.
"So, where we going 1st?"
"Well, it's gonna be a while before the Luau, wanna talk about our bosses?"
"Yes! Let's talk about how they're rotten slave drivers!"
"Uh...my boss is also my mom."
Tote Bag then felt embarrassed and awkward.
"Sorry about that."
"Hey, i know, I once met Spoiled Rich and man is she a bitch!"
"Thank you!"
"Yeah, she once tried to convince Twilight to betroth me and Diamond Tiara! Bleck! Good thing Twi turned down the offer! Don't get me wrong, I appreciate she's finally turned over a new leaf after the CMC finally got their cutiemarks, it's just that, she doesn't interest me."
"She doesn't?"
"Yeah, and there is no way in Tartarus that you can make me call Spoiled Rich my mother-in-law!"
"The more you talk about how you hate Spoiled Rich, the more I want to hug you!"
"Why don't I just come over to your table so you can?"
"Great idea! Come here now!"
Spike was then embraced as tears were streaming down his back.
"I can't believe how much of a spoiled bitch that Spoiled Rich is, I mean, you might food the boat with this much sadness."
"Sorry...uh..."
"Spike."
"Sorry Spike, it's just that, she's a slave driver, I almost died yesterday because of what she did!"
"Hmm..." Then Spike noticed a flier. "What's your name?"
"Tote Bag."
"Well Totes, look at that flier, it looks like a movie is gonna show later, wanna just relax with a quiet movie for a while?"
"Okay!"
"But 1st, you gotta stop crying okay?" Spike then broke from the hug. "That give me a smile, we're free from work and on vacation for a whole week."
"Yes...I should just...smile and forget my worries for the week! Thank you Spike." Then she calmed down and dried her tears.
Spike & Tote Bag soon made it to the movie theater to watch the movie.
"Whoa! Are the seats recliners?"
"Awesome! Just like in the Fillypines!"
"Yesssss!"
Then the 2 took their seats and put their feet up, well for Tote Bag, it was put her back legs up...
"Wow, this movie is really dumb." Spike commented.
"I now, it's just a nerd making weird voices." Tote Bag replied before taking a sip of her soda.
"ERRRRRRRRRRR, No....NOOOOOOO!!! Doodly daddly diddly freaks mahones! My parrot chick is the cutest baby bird ever!"
After the movie, they had a nice long rant about it where they laughed from each other's wise cracks.
"Alright, enough, what do you want to do next?" Spike asked.
"I want to see your cabin."
"Okay, I'll introduce you to Twilight Sparkle."
"The Princess is here?"
"Yep, she's both my boss and my parental figure, but during this vacation, she's just my parental figure."
"Ohhh."
"Now come-on."
Then they were at Spike's cabin where Twilight was reading a book on her bed.
"Oh, hey Spike, who's your friend?"
"Hi, I'm Tote Bag...Spike's date?"
"Date? Oh, as in a chaperon so Spike doesn't get lost right? Thanks, sorry Spike, I was going to meet up with you after I was done reading the chapter of this book, but it was so long. (He just left for the buffet and already you got a date?)"
"Don't worry Twilight, it's fine, Tote Bag's been wonderful company. (Yeah, I am that impressive Twi!)"
"(Spike, are you sure you want to date a stranger?)"
"(She's not exactly a stranger, she works for Spoiled Rich.)"
"(Poor thing.)"
"(Yeah, she was eating & crying so hard)"
"(Maybe I should hire her to work for me!)"
"(You really mean that Twi)"
"(Yes, after this vaca is over, consider her a coworker!)"
"(Yeah! Best mom ever!)"
"(And don't you forget it mister)"
"Uh...why are you guys just staring at each other?"
"What? Oh, sorry..."
"It's just that, if you known and someone have known each other for years like us...eventually, you're gonna be able to read each other's minds instead of verbally speak."
"Yeah, heh heh...sorry about that."
"I'm pretty scared now, can we please leave? The Luau is about to start." Tote Bag pointed out.
"Oh yeah! Getting my hoofwaiian shirt, sun glasses and straw hat!" Spike then went to the closet!
Later that night, the luau begun, with the hula dancers, barbecue, the flower necklaces being thrown around, Stitch & Yuna from the Stitch anime making a cameo. Max Tennyson making a cameo because he's always wearing a Hawaiian shirt in the Ben 10 series. What the? How come Gustavo Roque from Big Time Rush's TV show doing here? Eh, weird but cool cameo nonetheless.
"So, how are we enjoying ourselves tonight?" Asked the captain.
"Awesome!" Spike told him.
"What he said." Agreed Tote Bag.
"Well, I hope you 2 have a nice evening as I see how the others are doing." Then the captain dismissed himself.
Spike and Tote Bag ate and ate as they watched the fire twirler twirling fire around on the tips of the staff, then one end was put out before taking some kerosene into his mouth and blowing onto the lit end, to look like he was breathing fire!
"Nice!" Spike applauded.
"I've read about this in a book, but I never saw it before, it's amazing, I'm so glad to have seen this with you Spike."
"Yeah, I'm really having fun Tote Bag."
"It's sad though that I have to go back to 'her' after this is all over." Then she frowned before realizing what she was doing in front of Spike. "B-but! At least it's a long fun week, with you Spike, my 1st ever date."
"(I feel so bad for her...)" Spike then noticed the moon was full. "(Hmm...should I tell her what me & Twilight telepathically agreed on? Yes!)"
Spike then got out of his table.
"Spike? where are you going?"
"Come with me, I got something to tell you."
"Okay..."
And so they sat on the railing as the moon shone down on them.
"Tote Bag?"
"Yes?(Holy shit, is he gonna ask me to be his marefriend?)"
"When me and Twilight were having a telepathic conversation earlier, she decided we'll talk about transferring you from a maid for the riches, to a maid for our castle."
"(Not what I was expecting but...) What?!"
"It's true, I felt bad that you have to suffer a mean mare and get paid for it, besides...we could use some extra hooves around the castle, and trust me, Twilight is a nice boss."
"Spike..."
"Isn't it great? You get a job with a nice boss, and hey, you get me as a coworker."
"Hmm...is fraternization allowed during work?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm gonna kiss you every time I see you at work and then when you're a bit older...heh heh..." Then Spike was tackled as Tote Bag kissed him a lot.
"(Well, this vacation is going along pretty good, I just got myself a girlfriend.)" Spike thought to himself as Tote Bag unrelentingly gave him all of her love.
"Under the moon on a cruise ship, pretty good, at least the boat didn't sink." Commented Crystal Clarity.
"Yeah, I don't want a Titanic story." Added Lavender.
Meanwhile...
"Hmm...I can't wait to kill you so I can become the new Trahzo!" Said Dark Trahzo.
"Not a chance!" Not if we have anything to say about it!" Said Ember Q. Discordia.
"We got your back." Said Omnifox!
"We got your back Trahzo!" Said Spikerulez302!
"Thanks, now let's take this faker down!" I told them!
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.15.5: Vs. Dark Trahzo!
"Dark Shine Spires!" Then drill like spikes appeared before flying at them!
"I got this!" Said Spikerulez302 before deflecting them with his lance!
"Ha! The Dark Shine Spires don't dissipate on their own! They need to lock on and hit their target, and that's why they're getting back up to hit Trahzo in the back!"
Then they all saw the Dark Shine Spires come from behind!
"My turn!" Said Ember Q. Discordia. "Dummy Copy: Trahzo!" Then he made a dummy look alike of me! The Spires then hit the dummy!
"What the? Good job, but can you counter this?" Then Dark Trahzo began building up energy! "2000 Arrows!" Then magic arrows appeared!
"Man, do I regret leaving my harem at home!"
"Fire!"
"What are we gonna do?" Panicked Spikerulez302!
"Papercraft Wall!"
Then lots of paper appeared and formed a very thick dome around them! Catching every last arrow!
"Uh-oh! The arrows are breaching!" Ember Q Discordia pointed out!
"Don't worry, the destroyed paper gets replaced instantly!"
The dome began repairing itself in an instant!
"Come-on! Die already!" Dark Trahzo shouted!
The paper dome repaired faster than the arrows could pierce! And then the dome fell apart after the last arrow was shot!
"Here I come Dark me!" I said to him! I jumped and then slashed! "Colored Paper Claws!"
*Shing!*
"*grunt!* I admit, it hurt a bit...but not enough for a true cut!"
Then I snapped my fingers and then blood came out of the area I cut dark Trahzo!
"Grah! What the?"
"Let's do it Omni!"
"Right Ember!"
"Hey! Trahzo & Spikerulez302!"
"What?"
"While we charge an attack you gotta hold this guy off!"
"Got it!"
"Double Paper Swords!" Then I began swinging paper swords at Dark Trahzo! He then dodged and flew above!
"Night Gattling!" Then black energy bullets were shot at me and while he was distracted, Spikerulez302 came from behind! He tried for a swing but was decked hard!
"Uh-oh! Paper Armor!" Then a lot of paper began forming armor on my body, which was able to regenerate fast after the bullets hit!
"Whoa Trahzo, what's in that paper?" Asked Spikerulez302.
"Magical trees that Mother Nature herself let me use!"
"Whoa! You met Mother Nature? What's she like?"
"Cute, yet clumsy at times!" I replied.
"Enough! Night Orb Explosion!" Then Dark Trahzo threw the orb at Omnifox and Ember Q Discordia!
"Giant Paper Extender Arm!"
Then a giant paper arm caught the orb and threw it back!
*Boom!*
"Ha! Sending attacks back at me only revitalizes m..." Then he was punched by Spikerulez302!
"Paper Bullets!" Then super thin pieces of paper shot at him!
The pieces of paper then began stabbing into him! So much blood pouring out of his wounds, staining the white paper!
"Hahahahahaha.....blood?" Then Dark Trahzo levitated the blood and began drinking all of it!
Then Dark Trahzo drank all of it!
"Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
A blinding red light illuminated the night making everyone close their eyes! Once the light died down.
"Yes,much better!"
"What the?"
"Say hello to Vampire Mode! Sadly I can't drink the blood I cause myself, I need someone to cause it, and thank god you did!" Then he tore off the part of his chest where his heart is, exposing it! "This might be dangerous, but I'm killing you now! "Extreme Blood Cannon!"
Then a dark red blast of energy was fired at me!
"Paper Mario Summon!"
"What?!" Everyone shouted!
Then I pulled out a book and Paper Mario appeared!
"Alright, so how are gonna repel that blast?"
Then Paper Mario uses his Sponge sticker to absorb the attack and send it right back!
"What the?" Then Dark Trahzo dodged! "Impressive, but you're gonna have to do better!"
"I didn't have to do better, I just had to distract you long enough."
"What?"
"Guys, is your attack ready?"
"It's done!" Omnifox and Ember Q. Discordia replied. "Sun Rage Blast!"
"Checkmate!" I announced as they fired it!
"You son of a...." Then the sun they created hit him! "Biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!"
Dark Trahzo was completely reduced to dust!
"Alright, now for the next chapter and for us to meet up with the next chapter!"
View Online
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.16:When You Figure Out Your Wife is Infertile & Let's You Bang Someone Who Is.
"Lavender, you're such a foolish girl." Said Crystal Clarity.
"What?"
"Oh please, showing off and flirting with these handsome & strong stallions in this revealing swimsuit is nothing."
"What? B-but aren't you the angry tsundere type?"
"That's only with Prism Bolt." Then she rubbed up against a guard. "These stallions are surely more mature than him, hmhmhm..."
"Uh...Claire, the next ship if you'd please?"
"Oh, next is an OC, her name is Bundle Joy."
"Bundle Joy?"
"She's a earth pony broodmare, she has a pink and blue(the shade, new born's blankets are) mane in a bun, her tail is the same color, but not in a bun, she has purple eyes, her coat...I think is a pale purple...this shade I think:
"*Snicker* A bun in the oven?"
"Yep, and as it turns out, she boasts a 100% pregnancy rate with no miscarriages, at least this profile says so: https://derpiboo.ru/352558?scope=scpe5d5ea6703f7895e9eab77f2459211b063eed973a
"Wait, didn't Trahzo comment that he planned to have 8 moms? Isn't this like a 9th one?"
"Oh, Trahzo will not count Bundle Joy since it's her job."
"Okay, you may now begin."
"Oh, hey big boy, want to be Spike's son-in-law?"
"C-Claire! The game's over!"
"Who said anything about me playing a game?"
"Uh...j-just begin now!"
We find ourselves in the Ponyville Hospital!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Shrieked a very upset Spike.
"Now Mr.the Dragon, calm down!"
"S-sorry, it's just that..." Spike then began sobbing.
"Don't worry Spike, we can always adopt." His wife, Rarity said to comfort him.
"I am sorry Spike, but as it turns out, Rarity is infertile! No magic can fix it!"
"Grrr..."
"Now Spike, don't get angry at the doctor."
"You're right Rarity...thanks doctor."
"You're welcome, now have a nice day."
Then as they walked down the hall.
"Rarity, I can't believe this."
"As I said darling, we can always adopt."
"Yeah but...I want a crossbreed child with my DNA, to prove I'm not a virgin when they see me!"
"Oh yes, with your kind of goofy personality, you could really use a child to prove you've done it, but is that the only reason?"
"No, I want to teach my half-dragon kid what life is like for ponies and dragons so he or she could share their knowledge and hopefully bring dragons & ponies closer together you know?"
"I see how helpful that would actually be, oh, how I wish we had a beacon of hope!"
"Excuse me you 2!" A mare called to them from the maternity ward.
They turned to see her.
"I'm Bundle Joy & I just could help but hear you 2 looking for someone to carry a baby with his genetics?"She said to them.
"Uh..."
"Well look no further! Sure I have not gotten in bed with a dragon before, but I have given birth to a lot of babies! Like that one!" She then pointed to a married couple. "That one!" Then she pointed to another baby with a married couple. "I even just came out after birthing another baby!"
Spike & Rarity's jaws dropped.
"So what do you say?"
"Well, I can't argue with how good you are with your craft, Spike, shall we take this opportunity?"
"Yes! Bundle Joy, do we go to your place or ours?"
"I'd like to see your place."
"Lovely, do you have anything planned later?"
"Besides baking some bread rolls, no, why?"
"Would it be okay if you'd like to stay with us for today & tonight?"
"Okay, I'll just go get my baking supplies from my home and I'll be at your place later, where do you 2 live?"
"Carousel Boutique."
"Okay."
"Want help getting your baking supplies?"
"Oh, that'd be nice."
So all 3 went to Bundle Joy's house so they could get her baking supplies so she wouldn't get bored while spending the day at Carousel Boutique as she prepared herself for tonight.
Later that night...
"Aw-man, those bread rolls are so good."
"Thanks Spike, I..."
"Ahem, it's time." Rarity interrupted.
"Oh, uh...mare's 1st?"
"What a gentleman, Rarity, don't lose this guy, okay?"
"Never dreamed of it." Then as Rarity watched Bundle Joy take her husband to their bedroom, Rarity went to Sweetie Belle's guest room.
"Rarity?"
"Mind if I 'hang out' with you and your friends for a few hours?"
"No problem, we were just about to watch a bad movie and riff on it."
"Ooh, that sounds fun."
Meanwhile in Rarity & Spike's bedroom, Bundle Joy was just getting Spike's dick hard with a hoof job.
"Yeah...keep at it..."
"Now Spike, keep in mind, I only intend to have a baby, I'm only making sure you're at your hardest."
That's when Spike's 2nd dick came out.
"Huh, guess I finally get to see what anal feels like and what 2 dicks feel like inside of me, what a night" Bundle Joy commented. "alright Spike,I think we've done enough foreplay." Then Bundle Joy got on the bed and presented her backside."Ready Spike?"
"Yes..."
Spike then put his hands one around her belly as his dicks rubbed against her holes. Spike then pushed inwards as she moaned from feeling the bumps on the side of Spike's reptilian dick hit her vaginal walls and the inside of her flank.
"Whoa...that's different from what I expected, guess you dragons are different from stallions."
"Yeah, which is why I'm gonna ride you like there's no tomorrow Bundle Joy." Spike said before thrusting passionately intk Bundle Joy! "For my wife Rarity!" Spike's dick assaulted her womb! Bundle Joy then felt a hand on her cheek.
"What are you doing?"
"I want to thank you for doing this." Spike then pressed his lips against Bundle Joy's and then stuck his tongue in!
Bundle Joy broke from the kiss. "You're welcome, I'm always happy to help, mainly because I hate having an empty womb!"
"That made my boner harder!" Spike then thrusted harder into Bundle Joy, making her bite into the bed sheets as she moaned from the pleasure!
"Spike...I think I'm going to cum."
"Hold it in, I want to pump as much semen as I can into you!" Spike then spanked Bundle Joy's flank!
"*moan!* Spike, I don't know how longer I can hold out!"
"Don't worry, I'm feeling it too!" Spike replied as his dick twitched inside of her!
"I'm cumming!" Both shouted!
Spike's warm dragon spunk shot into Bundle Joy's womb, furiously racing to the eggs!
Meanwhile at the CMC slumber party in Sweetie Belle's room.
"Hahahahaha..." Then they hear Spike & Bundle Joy shouting.
"Ooh my, that must mean they're done, good night girls."
"Good night Rarity." All 3 said to her as she left the room.
That's when Rumble, Button Mash and Snails came out from under the bed.
"Alright girls, ready for the orgy?"
Now back to Spike and Bundle Joy who were panting next to eachother.
"Thanks for helping us."
"You're welcome, always ready to help a married couple who want kids."
Then Rarity comes in.
"Well, now that your fun is over, Spike darling, mind getting into the middle of the bed so I may sleep? I have a lot of dresses to be made tomorrow."
Spike moved so he was inbetween his wife and the broodmare before they all just went to sleep.
9 months later, Bundle Joy gave birth to 2 girls, the 1st one was named ******* ******* while the 2nd was named ********. Bundle Joy then handed them over to Spike & Rarity.
Later, when Bundle Joy left the hospital.
"Well, now that I'm done with those clients, who's the next to require me 'services?'" She said to herself, before bumping into Ms.Cheerilee & Big Mac.
"Wait, what were the censored names?" asked Crystal Clarity
"(Wait...oh my, why would you make such a mean joke about us Trahzo?)"
"Well, since we'll never figure it out, next chapter."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"Next is Coloratura."
"Eeeeeeeee!" Lavender Fangirled. "The Countess or the Regular?"
"Regular."
"Eeeeee! Begin the chapter."
"(What is wrong with her?)"
Spike had his head down on a wooden picnic table.
"What's wrong little fella?" Applejack asked.
"It's just that...after Rarity rejected me, I've been getting rejections left and right."
"Don't lose hope Spike, you're sure to find somepony."
"I hope you're right."
"I know I'm right."
Later that night, Applejack came home to recieve a letter.
"Thanks Big Mac." Then she closed her bedroom door and read it.
"Dear AJ
I'll be coming to Ponyville for a visit while I'm on a week long vacation. Do you know any cute guys? I actually want a boyfriend if you don't mind.
Thanks, Coloratura ."
"Wow, what a crazy coincidence." Applejack said to herself. "Hmm...settin' them up seems risky...but what the hay! I shall play cupid and set 'em up." She concluded. "And now, the sleeping rock Pinkie got me for Heartswarming!" Then she picked up the rock & dropped it on her head, knocking her out!
The next morning...
"Applejack, where are we going?"
"Be patient boy & no removing that blindfold, you git me?"
"Fine, but if this is a prank, consider your mane gone!"
"Try it & I'll stomp you like how Mulan's horse stomped Mushu!"
Meanwhile, Coloratura was patiently waiting as she at a table, under the gazebo. Then she saw them.
"(Is this my date? Was Aj kidding?)"
"Alright Spike, sit on this seat and wait until I tell you to remove the blindfold."
"Whatever you say demandy hooves!" Spike said in a sarcastic tone.
Applejack then pulled Coloratura in for a whisper.
"Look, I know you said stallion, but come-on, he's been hearing the word 'no' ever since his crush said it to him." She whispered.
"Applejack, I'm not so picky anymore but I'm still particularly picky when it comes to dating guys!" She replied.
"Come-on Rara, if ponies see him datin' a celebrity, like yourself, other mares will get jealous and would want to ask him out! Just this one date, okay? After that, he'll be flooded with enough mare orgasms to choke Glen Quagmire!"
"Fine, but please don't push the boundaries of our friendship like that again!"
"Trust me, Spike's a sweet little feller, he wont disappoint."
"I hope you're right AJ."
"Of course I'm right Rara, I am after all, the mare who represents honesty, now let's not keep him waiting."
Then they returned to the table.
"Spike, take off the blindfold so you can meet your date for the afternoon."
Spike then pulled the thing off of his head. Spike was silent, all he could do was twitch!
"I know, you're at a loss for wo..."
"Applejack...did you just set me up on a date with Countess Coloratura or am I dreaming?"
Then Aj smacked him!
"Okay, guess I'm not dreaming. (I'm gonna hit you back very hard later for that!)"
"So Spike, I heard from Aj that you're a very nice guy."
"Yep, that's me, so far I'm the only nice dragon in Equestria."
"And you're definitely right on that, I mean seriously, in one of my last concerts, a full grown dragon tried to destroy the stage because I accidentally woke her babies up from their sleep, she could've just told me to keep it down, or let her kids jam to my live performance."
"So what happened after that?"
"Mare 2 Well (the 2nd Mare Do Well), appeared and used a soundproof spell on her cave."
"Aw, that was nice."
"Yes it was, so Spike, what do you do?"
"I help out Princess Twilight Sparkle with her daily routines & schedules. I also do all sorts of chores."
"All by yourself?"
"Yep, all by myself in that huge castle."
"Sounds like a 'big thing coming in a small package' kind of story."
"Oh yeah!" Spike then flexed his arms like a goof.
Coloratura, despite being on a fake date, giggled a bit from Spike's goofiness.
"(I...I made Countess Coloratura laugh...I'm so happy!)" He thought.
"(Gotta admit, he's kinda funny.)"
Then ponies passing by took notice.
"Is Spike on a date with fucking Coloratura?!" A mare whispered.
"How? How did after Spike got rejected by Rarity, a mare he never had a chance with, score a date with the most famous pony pop star ever?!" Whispered a jealous stallion.
"Now I feel bad about ever saying no to him." Whispered another mare.
Coloratura then heard ponies talking.
"(AJ's plan is working, but I wonder if I can make it better.)" Coloratura thought.
That's when Applejack put a pitcher down with 2 glasses.
"Wanna freshen-up with some apple juice guys?"
"Aj, don't you feel like a 3rd wheel?"
"Rara, I'm trying to help Spike."
"Fine, but next time, I'm gonna find you a date and I'll be the 3rd wheel!"
"Fine! Just don't ruin this, I am going to Spike's home to prepare a concert where you 2 shall do a duet on the piano, that should cement him having the swag that the mares want."
"(He plays piano? What a strange coincidence)Good."
"Uh...ladies?" Spike interjected.
"Whoops, sorry for ignoring yah Spike, uh...I gotta leave, you 2 can just finish the juice...later!" Then Applejack left.
Later, after having some refreshing cups of apple juice, Spike & Coloratura went for a walk.
"Look out for that puddle." Spike said as he laid face down on it. "Now you may cross."
"Uh Spike? I could just walk around."
"Oh, sorry, I used to do this whenever I'm helping my old crush out with stuff."
"Uh...(Really?) couldn't she just walk around the puddle as well?"
"Yes, but I tried really hard for her, only to not get her in the end."
"That's actually pretty sad Spike, now get out of the puddle please."
"Okay." Spike then got up.
Coloratura then saw mud on his chest, neck and leg area. She then looked around and saw a guy selling towels.
"Excuse me sir, mind giving us a towel?"
"F-for a celebrity, on the house!" Then he gave them a towel.
"Here Spike."
"(Oh-my-Zacherle! Countess Coloratura bought me a towel.)" Spike then wiped himself clean. "Thanks Coloratura, I'll cherish this towel every time I use it."
"You're welcome Spike."
"Spike's so lucky, he's not just on a date with a celebrity, but she also cares about his hygiene." A stallion whispered.
"Damn, if Spike can get a famous pony like her, then are we lower than him? Are we lower than the dragon we said no to?" Whispered a mare.
"(I feel so bad for Spike...maybe I...NO! What are you doing? This is to help AJ's friend get some mares, also, why am I falling for a kid?)"
"Hey Coloratura, want to go to a real fun place?"
"Depends if you're lying."
"When it comes to showing a mare, a good time, I never lie."
"Well Spike, lead the..."
Then Spike gently took her right front hoof.
"It'll be my pleasure you pretty pony."
Coloratura blushed from the compliment.
"(How much luck am I using up? I FUCKING MADE COUNTESS COLORATURA BLUSH!)" Spike thought victoriously.
"(And I thought princes were charming.)"
Later, they were at the fun place Spike told her about.
"A cave?"
"There's a hoof glider and an amazing updraft."
"Whoa...that does sound like fun."
"Yeah,we can take a few laps and fly like a pegasus!"
Coloratura smiled from the thought and then, after paying the guy at the booth, they flew around the cave, Spike & Coloratura soared like an eagle.
"Spike, I feel so alive!"
"That's what I like to hear!"
After a few more laps, they then left the cave.
"That was so fun Spike!"
"I know Coloratura, I'm so glad I got to fly with you."
"I'm so glad to be on this...date...(What the?)"
"Heeeeeey Spiiiike, Raaaaaaraaaaaa!" Applejack called. "Come-on, the final part of your date is at the Ponyville Theater."
"What's she talking about?"
"You'll see soon enough."
Later, Spike & Coloratura were backstage with a full house of ponies waiting.
"Whoa, what's going on here?"
"Applejack got this ready, so we can play a duet on piano."
Spike's jaw dropped.
"Applejack."
"You gonna thank me?"
"Yes, 100 Trillion times yes!"
"Alright, come-on Spike, time to end our date with a bang!"
Then they went to the front.
"Break a leg you 2." Applejack cheered.
Then once they were in the light, everyone cheered.
"Thank you everyone for coming here, this is...not just a exhibition, but I'm also here to conclude my date with Spike here."
They all aww'd, both in delight from his cuteness and jealousy because of his luck. Spike & Coloratura then sat at the piano, looked at the sheet music...
"Ready?"
"Oh yeah!"
Then they began playing the song.
"(Holy crap, he's syncing incredibly with me.)"
Spike & Coloratura were in perfect harmony, the crowd certainly showed their enthusiasm for the duet. Coloratura blushed as they continued. The crowd mumbled stuff such as..."Spike is so lucky." "Why didn't I say yes to him." "I'm gonna stop this! Coloratura is my waifu" Wait what? That's when a stallion jumped out of the crowd and tried to stop them from finishing, but then Spike hit him with a fire ball!
"Oof!"
Applejack then finished the guy off as she beat the tar out of him! Then, once the song was over, Spike & Coloratura stood in front of the crowd and bowed. They all cheered for them, but then they all lost it and cheered even more as soon as Coloratura gave Spike a kiss on the cheek.
"(I was kissed by a really famous pony...I can die happy now.)"
"Thank you everypony, goodnight."
Later backstage.
"That was incredible Rara, Spike is sure to get all the mares now!" Said Applejack.
"What does she mean?"
"Well Spike, you know how you said yesterday that you've been getting rejected left & right by mares after Rarity rejected you?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well, I thought if ponies saw you on a date with a famous pony like Rara, the mares would regret saying no."
"So you set this up to help me get swag?"
"Don't get angry Spike, at 1st, I was a little mad at AJ because I wanted a stallion date, but decided leave out the stallion part. I agreed to go along with her plan, thinking I could just do a good deed for a friend of a friend...but as we spent the day together, I giggled at your antics at the gazebo, I felt bad for you during the puddle, and I had fun from both this and the cave."
"Do you mean to tell me that even though you were on a fake date, you...you actually fell for me?!"
Coloratura nodded.
"Huh, what an unexpected turn of events."
"So, wanna go on another date soon?"
"How does next Sunday sound? There's so much more of Ponyville you need to see!"
"Noted!" Then she kissed Spike's forehead. "Good night Spike." Then Coloratura exited the backstage.
"Aww, now isn't that ju *WHAM!!!*" Applejack got knocked out!
"That's for hitting me earlier!"
"Aww...it's over..."
"Yes, and it seems Trahzo is warning us, the hostesses about the next chapter."
"Huh?"
"Yes, though I don't know what he's got planned, guess we just have to be patient until the reader moves on to the next chapter."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.18: The Draconic Daddy's Girl.
Lavender's jaw dropped after seeing the title of the chapter.
"Hmm...guess you're one of the OC's Lavender, and by the looks of things, you are one OC who does not get a sex chapter...other dimension sister?"
No response.
"Okay boys, she's paralyzed, take her to the ER, and let us begin....now!"
Spike and his daughter Lavender have been close since she was born, they would have lots of fun together with his wife...or rather, deceased wife Rarity. After her death, Lavender never left Spike's side. She really cares about her dad, even reading a comicbook with him...though one day, their relationship as dad & daughter would eventually transform into something else.
As Spike went around Ponyville, he looked around seeing all sorts of ponies and their grandchildren.
"I love you grandpa."
"Grandma, you're the best."
"Thanks for the 150 bits granny and pappy!"
"(I'm getting pretty old aren't I? Maybe I should find Lavender a guy for herself.)" Spike thought.
Meanwhile, back in the cave, Lavender was reading an incest manga...
"Why can't daddy be that way with me?" She said as she watched the father & daughter kiss, but not as family, but as lovers. "I gotta confess to him later..."
"Lavender, I'm home!" Spike called. "Can you come here and humor and idea of mine?"
"Okay daddy!"
Lavender then arrived at the living room to see her father Spike and then she pounced to give him a big loving home.
"Alright kiddo, let go."
"No way daddy, I love you so much!"
She then kissed his cheek, making Spike blush.
"Haha, alright Lavender, that's enough."
"*Giggle!* Okaaaay."
"Alright dad...so what did you want to tell me?"
"Alright sweetie, I think it's about time you get me some grandkids."
"S-say what?!"
"Yeah, I think it's time you moved out and started your own family in your own cave or castle."
"B-but daddy, wont you get lonely?"
Spike grit his teeth. "It's good that you care for me Lavender, but...*gulp!* I can just move back in with Twilight, she could always use my help...*fake smile.* Okay, so I got a bunch of stallions ready for you tomorrow, they'll be meeting us at Sugarcube Corner so you can interview them all and decide who you'd want for your husband."
"(But daddy, I want you as my husband!)" Her thoughts whined. "Okay dad, you know I could never say no to you."
"*sigh.* Thanks Lavender..."
The next day, Lavender sat at a table and a long line of stallions were lined-up.
"Go get'em Lavender." Spike then sat at the counter where he sat with Pinkie Pie.
"Hey Pinkie..."
"Hello Spike, haven't seen you in a while since..."
"Yeah...well don't worry, I'm moving back in with Twilight so I wont be so lonely, I'll probably be her royal army's secret weapon."
"That's good to know, but...are you sure your daughter Lavender wants this and wants to just leave you?"
"Pinkie, she needs to move on eventually, I mean, she'll outlive me, she can't take care of me forever, you know..."
Lavender heard Spike say all of that."(Daddy...)"
And so, the date interviews began.
"Hey."
"Aren't you Pinkie's adopted griffin kid?"
"Yeah, so what do you say? Dating a guy you know?"
"I say no, next!"
Then the griffon left.
"Hey!"
"Nah, not you sir, you're a little 'young' for my tastes."
"I'm only 10 years younger than you!"
"You're 11."
"But..."
"Next!"
"Good day, lady Lavender of 'The Dragon' family."
"Alright, fancy shmansy, get lost!"
"I...I beg your pardon?"
"You heard me, I'm not into the fancy guys, hey! If you're a fancy pants guy, get lost!" She called to the line, making a few of them go away. "(Okay girl, if you can make all of these guys get lost, then you can confess to daddy!)"
Spike sat and watched with Pinkie as every stallion and other male creatures get a no.
"Wow, never realized my Lavender was so picky with her guys."
"Maybe she's a lesbian?" Pinkie suggested.
"NO I'M NOT!!!" Lavender shouted back at them! "Also, you! Get lost!"
"*sigh*, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and pee, tell me how it goes." Then, when Spike was out of earshot...
"Okay guys, take 5, I'll be right back." Lavender then got off her chair and headed to Pinkie Pie. "Hey...can we talk?"
"Yeah, what's up Lavender?"
"*Whispers*"
"Hmm...now that's unexpected...I thought you were just some daddy's girl...didn't expect it to be a complex."
"Please Pinkie, just do it!"
"Anything for a friend."
Then once the 5 minutes were over, Spike had already comeback from bathroom, with Lavender still saying no to guys.
"Um, Spike?"
"Could you follow me, I need your help."
"Sure thing Pinkie."
Then, once Pinkie & Spike were gone...
"Sorry last 12 guys, buuuuut...I see no potential relationships, but can you please help me with a plan before you leave? I'll even pay you guys!"
They all nodded because they had nothing else better to do.
"Great..."
Minutes later...
"Damn Pinkie, never realized how much cussing there was in Stuart Lit..."
"Help me daddy, they're trying to gang rape me!" cried a tied up Lavender with fake tears.
"NOT TO MY BABY!!!" Spike then sprang into action, beating everyone up in blind rage!
After that, Spike cut Lavender free from her ropes.
"Lavender, are you okay?"
"I am now, thanks to you daddy...I love you!"
"I love yah too kiddo, guess I'm not ready to give you up just yet, heh heh..."
"Daddy?"
"Yes sweetheart?"
Then Lavender put her hands on Spike's cheeks.
"I already chose a guy I want to start a family with..." Then she looked at Spike with longing eyes.
"M..me?"
"Yes daddy, I love you more than just a father, but as a lover!"
Spike then saw Rarity's smile on Lavender's face. Spike started tearing.
"*sniff*"
"You can cry daddy, I'll wipe those tears away."
Spike's tears streamed down his face as he hugged his daughter.
"Thank you Lavender...you're so sweet to me!" He told her after pulling back from the hug.
"You're welcome dad..." She then kissed her dad on the lips.
Spike returned it as their reptilian tongues danced around in their mouths. After breaking the kiss, they held hands and went back home to that cave, that the 2 of them shared.
"Aww, what a cute ending to a chapter, what say you Lavender?"
"It's so embarrassing! That's twice I got embarassed in this story!"
"Better make it 3 times!"
"What?"
"Oh yes, I have something planned in the next chapter."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.19: Are you Cirrusly Kidding Me?
"Nex is...Cirrus Cloud, an IDW pegasus from Friends Forever Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash."
"What's she like?"
"Cirrus Cloud used to be a bully to Fluttershy back in Junior Speedster Flight Camp, but she's the type who wants to apologize after all those years."
"Did she?"
"Yes, and then she & Fluttershy became friends during the Flight Camp Reunion."
"Aww, that's sweet, so what does she look like?"
"Her c..." Then a water balloon was thrown in Crystal Clarity's face. "*Hisssss!* Prism Booooolt!"
Then Crystal Clarity pounded the stuffing out of Prism Bolt.
"(So....scary!)" Lavender was trembling in fear from seeing Claire burn, slash and bite Prism Bolt.
After a few more minutes of mutilation.
"Now...are you sorry for that?"
"Y...yes...I'm s...sorry Claire."
"Good boy!" Then she came back. "Sorry you had to see that Lavender, but I simply just can't control my inherited dragon rage sometimes, anyways...Cirrus Cloud's coat is...well I can't tell what shade that is. Her mane is blue & green with black tips. She has a short green tail with black tips. She has black eyes. She has blue wings with black tips. A nose ring on her right nostril, 3 earrings in her left ear, black paint around her eyes, she has spiky bands & choker, and her cutie mark is 2 blue lightning bolts crossing."
"Is Trahzo sure he wants to ship dad with a gothic pony?"
Then a letter appeared.
"Shut-up! Goths & Emos are cool!" The letter said.
"Well, guess that settles it, begin the chapter."
Spike, with his new wings were just enjoying a nice flight!
"Finally! I'm like other dragons! I can flyyyy!" Then he was hit by a bomb that exploded upon impact! "Whaaaaaaat theeeee fuuuuuuuck!"
"Oops! Sorry Spike! I was playing explosive Croquet!" Discord called out. "See Smooze, I told you not to swing that hard! You get the heat lamp penalty!"
"*Graaaaoooor!*"
"Yeah, think about what you've done as you evaporate!"
Spike then saw he was headed straight for a building!
"Oh boy...it's one of those days!" Spike said as he crashed inside someone's apartment.
Meanwhle inside the apartment...
"And in local news, a baby dragon can be seen flying through the sky, and towards an apartment building."
"Hey, that's my apartment buil..."
*Crash!*
"You gotta be kidding me!" The mare shouted in annoyance.
Spike got his head up. "Sorry, I was caught in some shenanigan by some friend of mine."
"Well, for whatever reason, you're cleaning up the mess you made! Don't worry about the wall, I'll fix that!" She demaded.
"*snap!* I'll get this whole place done in no time."
"Good, after that, I'll help you find your way back home."
"Thanks and who are you?"
"I'm Cirrus Cloud, you?"
"Spike."
"Well Spike, where do you live?"
"Ponyville."
"Whoa! You live in Ponyville? Do you know Fluttershy?"
"Heck yeah, she's one of my best friends."
"Awesome."
"So Cirrus, how does a cool looking gothic pony like you know a...uh...scaredy cat pony like Fluttershy?"
She smirked from being called cool looking "I bullied her in Junior Speedster Flight Camp, but I managed to make amends with her in the reunion."
"Aww." Spike sighed.
"So how do you know Fluttershy? I thought she was afraid of dragons."
"I was raised by ponies."
"Really? That's cool, so who's your foster parent?"
"Princess Twilight Sparkle."
"Get out, really?"
"Yeah, I can introduce you to her if you want?"
She then grabbed Spike, threw him out of the window, she jumped out after him and off they were to Ponyville. They soon made it to Fluttershy's Cottage.
"Huh, this place looks very calm, seems like the kind of place Fluttershy would live."
Spike then knocked on the door.
"Fluttershy, it's me Spike, can I come in?"
"Spike? Wait there! Big Mac, hide here until your boner is down okay?"
After hiding her sex friend, Fluttershy opened the door.
"H-hey there Spike..." Then her eyes darted towards Cirrus Cloud. "Cirrus Cloud?" She then smiled.
"Fluttershy!"
The 2 pegasi hugged.
"It's been a while since the reunion, how've you been?" Cirrus Cloud asked.
"I've been great! I even have a big handsome boyfriend!"
"You mean the stallion we heard you shove into the closet?"
"What are you talking about?" Fluttershy asked.
"Fluttershy, there was hard stomping on the wood floor, you think nopony couldn't have heard that?" Spike answered.
Fluttershy blushed.
"WellitwasnicetoseeyouagainBigMacneedsmyattentionnowbye!" She then slammed the door and locked it before she let out Big Mac, was flung to the couch and then made hard passionate love on it!
"It's always the quiet ones is right, sheesh." Cirrus Cloud told him.
"I know, wanna meet the princess now?"
"Do I? Let's go!"
So Spike & Cirrus went to the castle, but that's when Rarity spotted them as they passed by.
"Oh Spiiiiike!"
"Rarity?" Spike's eyes then went heart shaped. Cirrus noticed Spike's infatuation.
"Who that? Your girlfriend?"
"In my dreams she is."
"Ha..."
She then went over to them.
"Hello darling, who's this?"
"'Sup, I'm Cirrus Cloud."
"Well, good day to you Cirrus Cloud, what brings you here?"
"I just helped Spike here find his way home after he crashed into my apartment."
"Yeah...I owe Discord a knuckle sandwich."
"Well, thanks for helping Spikey-Wikey get back to Ponyville, but you may now leave. Spike, you're an hour late for helping me with my dresses."
"Hey, who says I'm going anywhere?" Cirrus Cloud said as she stepped up to Rarity.
"I do, I need Spike as my mobile pincushion."
"What? A pincushion?"
"Don't get your nose ring caught, my darling friend loves being my pincushion, don't you Prescious Scales?"
Spike then nodded.
"Don't nod at that Spike!"
"Why not?" Spike asked Cirrus.
"Indeed, he has thick scales, it's not like I'm hurting him or anything."
"Rarity, I don't know how obvious it is to you, but just looking at this kid, I can easily see his crush on you."
"We can easily see that too!" The passing by citizens added.
"What does that have anything to do with anything?" Then she turned her attention to Spike. "Spike, you need to check how sharp my scissors are to make sure they aren't dull as well by stabbing yourself with them!"
"What?!"
"As I said, he's not getting hurt."
"Yeah, but are you seriously letting this little guy do this for you sticks pins in him and ask him to stab himself? I don't care how hard his scales are, you're bullying him!"
"What? No I am not! Spike volunteered to help me make dresses, and I always gave him a proper reward for his helpfulness, why he's such a sweetheart that he gave me this fire ruby instead of having it for his birthday dinner."
"Did you guilt trip him? I'm only assuming."
"...A little."
"Aha!" Cirrus then turned her attention to Spike. "Spike, you're being bullied, I can tell since I've bullied ponies before."
"You've done it before?" Rarity questioned.
"Yeah, I bullied a pony when we were kids, but I grew up and said sorry to her at a camp reunion & she forgave me and now we're friends."
"Please, who'd forgive some world hating goth?"
"Fluttershy...infact, she was the pony she bullied." Spike interjected.
"Spike, that's because Fluttershy is too nice to..."
"Also, who said I hated the world huh?"
"Isn't that what you goths do? Hate such a happy world?"
"That's profiling bitch!"
"*Gasp!* How dare you?!" Rarity was then losing her calm face.
"Oh, you wanna go? Bring it on!"
"Fighting isn't really my thing, but me and my best friends took down a lot changelings when defending Canterlot."
"Hmph, if they were taken down by you, I bet it was because they're more of a bitch than you, because only a bitch would get knocked out, why don't we test that on you to see if you're a bitch?"
"I'll have you know, that you're the bitch here!" Rarity then punched Cirrus Cloud.
"Is that how hard you punch a changeling?"
"E-excu..." Rarity then got owned as Cirrus Cloud returned an even harder punch.
"Ra..."
"Don't worry Spike, I'll make sure she stops bullying you."
"Wow Cirrus Cloud, hadn't realized that...I was being bullied."
"Spike, what else has she done to you?"
"Well, she often has me dig for gems and take out her trash...and do all of her chores."
"Wow...is she really that lazy?"
"Yeah...I was even hoping she'd go for me after I saved the Crystal Empire twice...but no...I just did what she told me after that..."
"Wow Spike, you may need to stay away from Rarity for a few months."
"But she needs no distractions when making dresses...she even does all nighters."
"Well, does she pay you?"
"Well, she pays me with gems I can snack on...even though I can just get as many of those at home now because of the kind of money Twilight gets now that she's a princess...rendering Rarity's rewards useless..."
"See what I mean?"
"Yeah..."
"Now, let's go see Princess Twilight."
"Okay...you're a very cool gal Cirrus Cloud."
"Thanks Spike."
Later...
"Thank you Cirrus Cloud!" Twilight said as she shaked Cirrus's hoof. "I've been trying to talk Spike & Rarity into stopping for years!"
"You're welcome your magesty."
"Please, call me Twilight, you are a very good friend."
"Thanks, a cute little guy who works hard for somepony who doesn't show anymore praise than just a snack or compliments shouldn't get a mare like that. As for you Spike, uh...you may wanna wait a while before hearing an apology from Rarity."
"As long as it takes, I still think Rarity is a good friend, even if she isn't so considerate."
"Yeah, but I wanna make sure her apology isn't being something like a kiss or you 2 dating."
"How?"
Cirrus Cloud then took off the spiky bands around her front hooves and picked up Spike.
"Duh."
"Oh..."
Spike then braced for impact as their lips met. Then Discord appeared.
"Hey Spike, betcha forgive me now that I found you a girlfriend eh?"
Spike & Cirrus Cloud's response was a punch from both!
"Timbuuuuurr..." And like that, Discord was out like a light.
"Hmm...having a former bully, takeout a secret bully...is that poetic or am I incorrect?" Claire asked the reader.
"Aww...I loved how the goth chick helped dad."
"Me too, now on to the next chapter."
View Online
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.20: Sister Stories: Ponymon Sun & Moon Version.
"Ponymon Sun & Moon? Really? Well, the confirmation of the games came at a great time for the pun, this time we got another pair of sisters this time."
"Yes, we have Sunshine Smiles & Moonlight Raven both are from Canterlot Boutique!"
"Moonlight Raven is the one with dark blue mane & tail, the...brilliant amber eyes? Huh, I was gonna say Xehanort eyes, nevermind. Finally she has a light cornflower bluish gray coat...wow that is a mouthful. Her cutiemark is of a purple heart and four outward-facing crescent moons. She has a flat voice and felt like a princess when she wore the 'Over the Moon' dress." Crystal Clarity explained.
"Then there's Sunshine Smiles! Her eyes are moderate lime green...guess she has some mouthfuls as well. Her mane and tail are light brilliant and very pale yellow. Finally her coat is Pale, light greyish cerise. Her cutiemark is an exploding star. She has an excitable voice and she felt like a princess in the "Tripping the Light" dress." Explained Lavender.
"These 2 are like night & day, kinda like Princess Celestia & Princess Luna, they even kinda resemble the 2...I wonder, did Celestia find a new personal student now that Twilight is teaching ponies about friendship, I mean, just look at Twilight, she now has a student in Starlight Glimmer, now that student became master, it's kinda time for it right?" The cameraman asked the reader.
"It's all a mystery isn't it? Just go back behind the camera and begin the chapter."
"You sure?" Asked Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, tomorrow I'm gonna stay up a whole 24 hours and if I win, you have to wear the prettiest of dresses Rarity gives you for a day!"
"Hah, and if I win, you'll be my butler for a day!" Rainbow said in confidence.
Then they shook arm & leg in agreement! Spike woke at 12PM, to begin his battle!
12PM
"Since Twilight will be awake at 8AM, I'll just go on a journey in the middle of the night...better pack some bits with me just in case I want a snack." He mischievously whispered as he tiptoed through the halls and out into the night. "Aw-man, Luna's moon looks so nice out tonight."
"Doesn't it?" Asked a unicorn who was standing right next to him.
"Ah!" Then Spike took a good look at her. "Whoa...1st off, who are you, 2nd, you're very pretty!"
She blushed from that. "Thank you, the name's Moonlight Raven, I like being out at night to worship Princess Luna & her night."
"I see, I'm just trying to stay-up for a whole 24 hours and win a bet."
"Sounds pretty cool, feel like hanging out & seeing what happens at night?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Great, come with me."
"(With a voice this flat, she'd be BFF's with Maud.)"
Spike & Moonlight Raven walked through Ponyville at night, seeing all of the sights that open at night.
"Whoa...look at all of the stuff to do at night!"
"I know, isn't it rad?"
"Yeah it is Moonlight....I dunno what I wanna do!"
"Well, what about we go to that place?"
"Madame Pinkie? But I've been here before."
"Oh-no, during the night, Madame Pinkie Pie's powers are much stringer at night."
"Hmm...well, if you say so."
Then they entered the tent.
"Hey Spike! Hello Moonlight Raven, I saw you come in with my spiritual 3rd eye."
"You did?"
"Yep...also are you sure a little guy like you can beat Rainbow Dash's bet?"
"Of course I can!"
"I'm still worried you wont win, but why don't we see if you will with my seeing of the future powers!"
That's when all the lights except the crystal ball dimmed! The entire tent shook!
"Whoa! What the?!"
"Hmm...I see you winning something in the future..."
"Is it the bet with Rainbow Dash?"
"Not sure, but it says you'll win something!"
"Aw, come-on, what is it?"
"Can't say for certain, but you'll win something much better than the bet!"
"Something much better?"
"Yes, but I cannot tell you! Go for now!"
Then Spike & Moonlight were thrown out with Spike falling on top of Moonlight, and they ended up touching lips.
"Whoa!" Spike got off of her from being so up close.
"Well, there goes my 1st kiss."
"Sorry about that Moonlight Raven, I couldn't control where I was being thrown. Also, if it makes you feel better, it was my 1st kiss as well."
"That's okay Spike, I liked the feeling of your reptile lips on my pony lips."
Spike then felt a sweat of nervousness.
"W-well...uh...why don't we see what else the night has to offer?"
"Okay." Moonlight Raven was then following very close.
"(Aw-man, well there goes my 1st kiss with Rarity like how I imagined in my dreams & daydreams...)"
"(That felt very nice...I wonder if my sister will like him too.)"
4:35 AM
Spike & Moonlight Raven then went to a nightclub.
"Wow, I can't believe they let you in...do you know that crystal stallion?"
"He's most likely one of the many crystal ponies I heroically saved from danger...twice!"
"Wow, I had no idea I was clubbing with a hero!"
"Yeah, I have a pretty cool portfolio."
"Really?"
"Yep, I'm the Crystal Empire's Hero, was the narrator for a Hearthswarming Play a few years back, directed my own play where a bunny dressed as Celestia who banished a cat dressed as Nightmare Moon to the moon, I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle's number one assistant, I had a pet phoenix chick for a few days, I'm a great chef Twilight approved heheheh and I'm fluent in piano.
"You're pretty cool for a little guy."
"Thanks, no pony besides my close friends & the Crystal Empire show me some respect."
"That's harsh, if only the rest of Equestria knew how good you were, you know?"
"Yeah..."
"Hey, don't frown here, It's party time."
"Heh, you're right, enough moping, time to mop the floor with my dancing!"
"Glad to hear that!"
So they danced for a while as music raved and lights flashed.
5:40 AM
"It's gonna be day time at 6AM, after that, I'm heading home."
"Why?"
"So I can sleep & stay up all night again."
"Aw, do you really have to be so nocturnal?"
"Yes Spike, when it's night, I feel so happy feeling the cool air."
"Aw, that's disappointing."
"Not so much for me, I enjoyed your company, now I should really go home, but don't be sad, I have a sister who fully embraces the daytime."
"Really?"
"Yes, you'll know what she looks like as soon as you see her." Then she kissed Spike on the cheek before leaving.
"(Man, I think I really flipped a switch after that accidental kiss...oh yeah, I better head home, make Twilight's breakfast, do my chores & then head out again.)"
7:57 AM
Spike had finished chores and said bye to Twilight for she left for a meeting with the other princesses.
"Yeah...that's some nice sun to take in."
"I know! Oh my gosh, isn't it sooooo warm & bright?" Said a cheerful mare who popped out of nowhere & into Spike's line of sight!
"Ah! Where did you come from?"
"I'm Sunshine Smiles! My twin sister Moonlight Raven told me all about some cute dragon who stole her 1st kiss, was that you? Are you Spike? Huh, huh, huh?" She said in such a cheerful manner.
"(Okay, so Moonlight & Sunshine are like Pinkie & Maud...by Celestia is this mare just as hot as her sister.)" Spike thought. "Y-yeah, but that was an accid..."
"Don't worry about that, she said you were a pretty cool guy."
"Really?"
"Really, but...when me & my sis aren't doing our own thing, we're doing things together and..."
"Uh, and what?"
Sunshine Smiles was licking her lips.
"You kissed her, we have to kiss as well little guy."
"Are you sure I'm your type?"
"Well, why don't we hang out in some places, see if we're a good match."
"Why not, know any good places? I'm kinda just wandering around the place."
"Oooooooh! I know this totes amazing clearing in the Everfree Forest!"
"What?!"
Then she grabbed Spike. "Let's go!"
"Waaaaaait!"
That's when they began running through the forest and then they were being chased by goblins riding boars!
"What in the..."
Then Sunshine Smiles unleashed light magic, making them run away!
"Phew! That was a close one!"
And then feral ponies appeared and started to neigh like actual horses!
"Aaaah!"
Then Sunshine Smiles blasted light lasers at them all! Knocking them all out!
"Nice job, but why are there FERAL CARNIVOROUS PONIES here in the forest?!"
"Don't worry, that's the only tribe here in this forest and there's only that 12."
"ONLY in THIS FOREST?!"
"Yeah, there are many more feral tribes in all of Equestria's forests."
"Thanks for letting me know, I'll have the princesses take care of ALL of these cannibals!"
"Cool!"
9AM
They then made it to a clearing.
"We're here Spike!"
They had a hill right infront of them. Spike & Sunshine walked up the hill and then...a bright warm light and a great view of Apple Loosa over the horizon and the train tracks that led to there.
"Wow...that is some view Sunshine...and I love the feel of the sun's light here!" Spike then sat down.
"Yeah, just absorb all those relaxing rays Spike." Then Sunshine Smiles sat down with him. They stared at Apple Loosa as they watch an obvious party hosted by Cheese Sandwhich.
"Huh, seems Cheese Sandwich has had another hit."
"I wish me and Moonlight Raven could one day have a party like that."
"Yeah, I wish I could too."
"And we'd totally invite you!" Then she put her hoof on Spike's hand.
"Uh...I'd invite you 2 as well..." Spike tried to inch away but was then pulled into a hug with her magic.
"You're a sweetheart."
"Heh heh..."
Spike was then face to face with her shining smile, then a buffalo landed next to them!
"Whoa, wild party!"
"Yep, now let's send this guy back!" Then Sunshine Smiles used her magic to launch the buffalo back to Apple Loosa!
Meanwhile...
*Crash!*
"Whoa...he was conveniently shot back!"
Then the crowds cheered!
"Now, who wants to do the Congaline covered in cookie dough through a sprinkles shower?" Cheese Sandwich asked.
Now back to Spike who found himself in another hug.
"So Spike, does this setting seem about right?"
"I suppose...you're fun and free spirited like this other pony I know."
"Aw, thanks Spike."
She then kissed Spike on the lips, making him blush. That's when their bellies growled.
"Huh, we better be going...it must be lunch time."
"Yeah...it seems to be almost 11AM, let's go get something to eat before it's 12."
They then made the trip back.
12:35 AM
Spike invited Sunshine Smiles & Moonlight Raven to the castle for lunch.
"It's very awesome to meet you Princess Twilight Sparkle!"
"Yeah, we really enjoyed your lecture on the simultaneous cutiemarking, do those 3 fillies really live here in Ponyville?"
"Thank you, It's nice to meet students of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, especially if they resemble Princesses Celestia & Luna."
"We do?!"
"I never noticed."
"Really Twilight? I was thinking Pinkie Pie & Maud Pie because of their personalites."
"Who's Maud?"
"Oh, just a (very expressionlexs) friend of ours." Twilight told them. "Also, I'm very impressed how you girls have been helping Spike win this bet with Rainbow Dash."
"Yeah, just 12 more hours and she has to dress in style!"
That's when Rarity & Sassy Saddles appeared.
"I'm going to have her advertise my dresses, but only if Spikey-Wikey emerges victorious."
"A Wonderbolt Reserve, advertising will be a big hit!"
"Good luck!" Then Rarity & Sassy Saddles disappeared.
"H-how did those 2 just vanish out of thin air?" Spike asked.
"Easy, a light bending spell for invisibility." Said Sunshine Smiles.
"And a shadow disperse spell, so no-pony can spot them." Added Moonlight Raven.
"Whoa..."
"Indeed Spike, I can see you 2 have been studying." Then Twilight notices that her plate is empty. "Well, I gotta go, it was nice meeting you girls. I'm gonna go see what Pinkie & Rainbow Dash are doing." Then she strated walking towards the door.
That's when Spike yawned.
"Uh-oh..."
That's when Rainbow Dash entered the room and ran over Twilight to Spike.
"Was that a yawn? Getting tired kid? Need a nap?"
"No! I don't care what Madame Pinkie said, I am not losing the bet!"
"Ha! Everyone knows I'm gonna..." Then Rainbow Dash was smacked by Twilight! "Ow! What was that for?"
"You ran me over you jerk! we're as tall as the average mare, yet you decided not to use your eyes and instead use your ego to see!" Then Twilight's hor started glowing!
"Oh, you want to fight?! Bring it on bitch!"
"We better go..." Spike suggested.
The twins agreed and ran out as a battle between Rainbow and Twilight ensued!
4:10PM
"I'm really enjoying hanging out with you girls."
"Thanks...unfortunately I must leave at 8PM...because that's when it's night time...bummer!"
"That's okay, I'll just walk you home at 8:00 and then I'll go meet up with Moonlight till 12PM."
"You sure?"
"As sure as Gergingha's Chi-Q Marble Buster being a straight-up dick laser!"
Sunshine snickered from that reference.
"So come-on, let's go find a place to hang out until then." Spike said to her.
Sunshine Smiles then followed Spike to Sugarcube Corner where they ordered 2 dozen cupcakes to see who could eat them all faster.
"Alright, 2 dozen cupcakes for the both of us..."
"Ready...."
"Go!"
They then stuffed their faces very quickly!
"I win!" They both said with full mouths before swallowing.
"I guess we both won."
"Yeah, but it was still awesome eating all those cupcakes!"
"Hahah, yeah."
Then Sunshine Smiles noticed some frosting on Spike's face.
"Hey Spike, you got some frosting on yah."
"Where?"
Then she licked his face!
"Got it!"
Spike's jaw dropped.
"Like how I kissed you after Moonlight did. She's gonna lick your face after I did."
"Twins...your type is very interesting as to how your minds function." He said as he saw Pound & Pumpkin playing with Pinkie, but then sneezed at the same time.
"Eew!" Pinkie then ran to the bathroom.
8:00PM
Spike had just walked Sunshine Smiles home.
"Hey sis, I licked Spike's face."
Moonlight Raven the caught Spike with her magic and did the same!
"Dammit...maybe there's something you 2 can do at the same time that doesn't include my face?"
They then looked at each other.
"Yeah, we haven't really been doing things together lately." Theu said in unison.
"Uh...maybe not talk at the same time..."
"Sure."
"Sorry."
"There, so what do you want to do together?"
After a good look at each other, then one at Spike...they then grabbed him with thier magic.
"What the?"
Then they took him to their room!
11:30PM Yeah, 3 and a half hours of sex.
Rainbow Dash then barged in!
"Aha! You fell aslee..." Then she saw Spike, Moonlight and Sunshine all covered in sweat. "On 2nd thought I'll tell you tomorrow."
Yep, Madame Pinkie's predilection...oops, I mean prediction was true! He didn't win the bet, but it was something else, and that something else turned out to be twin virginities!
"I liked the parts with Sunshine." Said Lavender.
"I prefered the parts with Moonlight." Said Crystal Clarity.
Meanwhile...
Veetrix and Mallie stood side-by-side with guns at the ready! Blood Brandy, Geoice, Brony Kaiju Soldier and DanvilleBengal were standing by, ready for the fight with the next opponent!
"You aint gonna beat me! I am R.A.Sh!" The robot said to them.
"Your lame name sounds like a ripoff of S.C.Ar.L, one of the writers in the opening credits to Titanic the Legend goes on!" Veetrix taunted!
"Bleck! You saw that animated piece of crap?" Said DanvilleBengal.
"Shut it new guy, I saw Jontron's review of it!"
"Okay, I have respect for you again."
"Enough! I have a tight schedule, my niece has a violin recital and I need to pick-up my dog from the groomers!"
"You'll never get the chance to do those personal life things!"Mallie said in a heroic tone!
Author's Note
Sorry it took a while with this chapter, I was lazy & bored a lot.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"So what does the acronym stand for?" Asked DanvilleBengal.
"Ah, it stands for:
"Not very impressive." Mallie replied.
"Yeah, your name sucks to high Hell." Added Brony Kaiju Soldier.
"Your name was so bad it gave me a rash." Veetrix taunted.
"Enough!"
"No, we will not." Replied DanvilleBengal.
Then R.A.Sh started opening fire with his ray gun!
"Hey, calm down skin condition!"
Then Geoice dodged & shot a freeze ray at R.A.Sh, completely freezing him in ice!
"What? That's it, I was hoping to kick his shiny metal ass as w..." DanvilleBengal was the interrupted by R.A.Sh breaking out of the ice then bashing Geoice with his huge robo arm!
That's when Brony Kaiju Soldier went for the slice, but R.A.Sh blocked and then charged a beam before he was hit by Veetrix, using his explosive barrel on his gun.
"Curse you Deezutra's nephew!" Then he began spinning around creating a tornado!
"Ooh, my turn!" Said Veetrix's wife, Mallie who then cancelled out the tornado by spinning in the opposite direction!
"How did you..."
"I'm a master of wind of course." Then she kicked R.A.Sh, making fly towards DanvilleBengal, who then hit him with a chunk of dirt and rock.
Then Brony Kaiju Soldier slashed at R.A.Sh this time!
"Rrrrrr...." Then R.A.Sh started steaming. "Ultra Blaze!" Then fire burst from his body while it rotated!
Mallie got infront of everyone. "Air Shield!"
Then Danville Bengal stepped in front of the Wind Shield!
"What are you doing?!"
"Stopping the fire with my pyrokenisis!"
"But you're a pegasus, not a unicorn!"
DanvilleBengal then caught the fire.
"Unicorns use magic, and this is not magic, I'm merely being psychic!" Then he threw it back at R.A.Sh, then he blocked it! R.A.Sh then started spinning his fists.
"100 Gigaton Spin Punch!" Then he jumped and slammed the floor with his fists! The train cart he was on then broke in 2! "See yah suckers!"
"I got..." Then R.A.Sh shot a bullet, knocking off DanvilleBengal's glasses! "Aaaah! My glasses, I can't see guys!"
"I got 'em, but we gotta catch-up to R.A.Sh now! Quick Mallie, Wind Cannon!"
"You got it darling!" Then a powerful gust of wind shot all of them to the moving train!
"And now that those fools are gone, time for me to kill Deezutra & Trahzo before they free Lanceblazer from Xutaga's cont...."
*Crash!*
They all landed on R.A.Sh.
"You're all so persistent."
"Of course we are!" Said Geoice before jumping off. "Veetrix!"
"Gotcha, hey DanvilleBengal, mind helping us out with your Pyrokenisis?"
"Can I have my glassed 1st?"
"Oh, here!"
"Thanks!"
"Now everyone, get off, we need the target in the clear!" That's when Veetrix put the double barrel upgrade on his gun and then input the ice barrel and fire barrel!
Veetrix, Geoice and DanvilleBengal were now aiming at R.A.Sh!
"Super Overdrive: Hot & Cold Fury!"
Then Geoice & Danville shot fire & ice oh the front, while Veetrix shot fire & ice in the back of R.A.Sh! Then Bron Kaiju Soldier jumped in and cut R.A.Sh in half!
"I may die, but you'll all still lose! I'll see you all once Xeenam's family revives everyone from other stories!"
*Boom!*
R.A.Sh exploded.
"Revive everyone from other stories? What does he mean by that?" Asked Mallie.
"Guess we'll see what he means once we get to Manehattan." Said Brony Kaiju Soldier.
Then everyone ran to the front of the train to meet-up with Trahzo & Deezutra.
Author's Note
Haha...can you figure out what R.A.Sh meant when he said by "Xeenam's family reviving everyone from other stories?
View Online
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.21: Milf Chronicles 2: Fluttershy's Mom Has Got it Going On!
"Next is...huh?"
"What's wrong Claire?"
"It says here it's Posey vs. Flitterheart."
"Versus? Also, who's Flitterheart?"
"The mare who was possibly the pony in that painting Fluttershy owned in Scare Master and the pony people speculate to be her actual mother."
"So it's fan mom vs. possible mom?"
"Yep, says here, that they'll be fighting over something Spike said, deciding to whom the thing was about.."
"Ooh, that reminds me of the episode of Rosario+Vampire where Kurumu's mom and. Mizore's mom were fighting over who Tsukune would marry."
"Ha, Breast Missiles of Rage, I'm never gonna forget that."
"Me too, now let's see who wins this fight!"
An earth mare with a flower cuteimark who resembled Fluttershy was walking side-by-side with purple pegasus who had blue & dark purple mane, she had hearts for a cutiemark. One had Fluttershy's mane, while the other had her's in a bun, even though fanart of her, depicts her as a Fluttershy recolor.
"Well, it's a good thing we've finally stopped fighting over Fluttershy's custody Flitterheart."
"Yeah, it may be unknown who her true mother is, but we'll be there for her Posey."
"Exactly friend."
"Now, I wonder what we'll do for her dad."
"But she's an adult."
"No, I mean we haven't had a guy to go to bed with because we've been too busy fighting over Fluttershy."
"Oh yeah, that's something we've been needing."
"Exactly, but who?"
Then they heard a bunch of teens talking. They then followed the sound to be Spike and his friends having a discussion.
"I'm telling yah, the hottest milf is Cupcake!" Said Snips.
"Yeah, but she's nothing compared to Twilight Velvet." Rumble retorted.
"Dude, I thought we agreed, no Gmilfs." Spike spoke.
"Right, sorry, okay...Cupcake can't compare to Cloudy Quartz! Don't lie boys, you know she's hot!"
"You think they'll talk about us?" Posey whispered.
"Hope so, I'm probably hotter than you though." Flitterheart replied.
"Well, why don't we see?"
"Stormy Flare, hoofs down." Said Featherweight.
"For me, Twilight Sparkle." Said Snails.
"Wow, didn't know each other's moms were allowed." Spike joked.
"My choice for hottest milf is this very beautiful..."
"Button Mash, we know about your lust for your own mom!" All of the boys shot to him.
"Dammit, though I do wish Dandy Lion and Spoiled Rich would ride me too." Button Mash added.
"Who's Dandy Lion?" Spike asked.
"Oh, Dandy Lion would be Trixie's (IDW) mom."
"Aw-man, somepony who birthed a pony as sexy as Trixie has gotta be hotter."
"Yeah." The boys sighed.
"What about you Spike? Lemme guess? Cookie Crumbles?" Asked Lickety Split.
"Nah dude, she may be banging hot, I just gotta be out with it but....*inhale* Fluttershy's mom has got it going on!"
"Ha, ha, he said the title." Peter Griffin laughed as he watched them debate. "(Stupid kids, Lois is the hottest out there.)"
That's when he was punched in the face, by Ernie the Giant Chicken and then a society destorying death match began.
"Really Spike? Which one?"
"That's on a need to know basis and you guys don't need to know, goodbye, I gotta go now, I gotta go..."
"Okay, but this conversation is gonna continue tomorrow!" Snips called out.
"Sure thing."
Posey & Flitterheart sat there, surprised.
"He thinks I'm a hot milf!" Said Posey.
"No, he was clearly referring to me." Said Flitterheart.
"Wanna bet bitch?"
"Where're we fighting?"
"Ponyville Fountain."
"Alright, I'll see you there, and we'll settle it!"
"Agreed!"
Then off they went thier separate ways, but then Peter and Ernie fell on top of them, knocking them out, before Peter and Ernie got back up and resumed thier battle.
A hour later...
Both were at the fountain, armed to the teeth, sticking out like sore thumbs, everyone looking at 'em.
"So, ready to admit he said that I'm the one who's got it going on?"
"No! He said that about me!"
"Popcorn, soda...butt scratchers!"
"I'll have a butt scratcher!"
"A buttscratcher for me too!"
"Over here too, I'll have a buttscratcher!"
As everyone was asking for buttscratchers, Posey & Flitterheart stared in intense anger. That's when Posey pulled out a gun!
"Draw!"
Flitterheart then threw a bomb after she dodged Posey's shot! Posey avoided the bomb and then continued firing! Then Flitterheart pulled out a sword and began twirling it super fast, blocking the bullets! Posey ran out of bullets and began to reload, as Flitterheart charged, more & more buttscratchers were consistently sold! After reloading, Flitterheart tried to make the slice but was blocked by Posey's shield! Posey pushed Flitterheart back! Flitterheart then pulled out a bow & arrow, which then prompted her to use her wings for air combat! The 2 mares then shot at each other!
"Give up! I'm obviously the one Spike said who's got it going on! I mean, look at me, I'm a pegasus, I'm definitely the one Spike likes!"
"No! Despite me being an earth pony! I look like Fluttershy! So he said I'm the one who's got it going on!"
That's when they pulled out maces, pounding the spiky balls on each other! Making clanging sounds with each collision! That's when the balls fell off the sticks! Then they pulled out boxing gloves made of iron! Blocking & punching, trying to push each other back as the fight progressed! That's when...
"Aaaaah!" Peter & Ernie landed next to them! Peter got up, standing next to Flitterheart, meanwhile Ernie stood with Posey.
"Ha! Looks like I win!"
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone knows Peter wins these fights!"
"No, I'm obviously gonna win this because this chicken is getting help with these weapons I'm giving him!"
"I still got weapons too and Peter will happily accept them!"
"Yeah! Pony team-up!" Peter Griffon cheered before he was handed a bo-staff, while Ernie was given a pair of nunchucks! Then all 4 charged! Flitterheart caught Ernie's nunchuck and didn't let go as Peter made the smack! Posey then countered Peter as she slashed his staff in half with a knife and then Ernie drop kicked Flitterheart! Flitterheart fought back as she kicked Posey on the side and then Peter followed up with an elbow jab! Posey then pulled out a baseball bat and gave it to Ernie, Posey then took out her own weapon, a huge pair of hedge clippers! Flitterheart then gave Peter a taser, and then she pulled out a cattle-prod! Flitterheart ducked under the huge scissors as it cut off her bun, making her mane kinda resemble Fluttershy's if it were short! Peter then got Posey with then taser before Ernie hit him in the back with the bat! Flitterheart then got Ernie with the cattle prod! Posey made an attempt to cut off Flitterheart's head but Peter threw the taser and shocked Posey just in time for Flitterheart to escape the range of the hedge clippers then shock Poesy some more, but then Ernie punched Flitterheart and Posey followed up with a hard buck! Ernie tried to hit Peter in the head with the bat, but he caught it, and took the bat out of Ernie's wings, Peter then hit Ernie in the forehead, he fell as he grabbed his head! Peter then started stomping on Ernie, but that's when the ground gave way and the 2 fell into a cave & continued their own battle!
"Dammit, and I was so winning the fight!"
"Please, as if you were winning!"
Posey then threw seeds all over the ground!
"You know why we're called earth ponies?"
"Why?"
"We help the land grow it's plants!" Then Posey threw water balloons all over the seeds and the seeds grew rapidly! "We're natural masters of the nature element!" Posey explained as she stood on a plant monster!
"Oh yeah? Us pegasi and natural masters of the wind element!" Flitterheart shouted back as she grabbed clouds all over and created a tornado monster! Both creatures collided as the audience ran away to find a much safer place to watch!
"Hey, has anyone seen my buttscratcher?" Asked Carrot Cake.
"I got it right here." Said Cup Cake.
"Thanks honey bun, now let's scram before we get got!"
"So Posey? Ready to admit I'm the hotter milf?"
"Are you Flitterheart, ready to admit you're the inferior milf?"
"Bitch!"
"Bitch!"
That's when both monster exploded in a huge gust of wind and vines! After the explosion, we see Flitterheart & Posey so exhausted that they're now just lightly tapping each other, kinda like the final part of the Naruto vs. Sasuke final boss in Ultimate Ninja Storm 4. Spike then walked in, seeing the destruction and the 2 mares fighting.
"Whoa!" Spike exclaimed, gaining the attention of the mares.
"There he is! Spike!" They then limped towards him.
"Uh...yeah?"
"Which of us has got it going on?" Asked Posey.
"You both heard that?"
"Yes! We were just curious, and if you say me...I'll take you to bed!" Said Flitterheart.
"Say me, and I'll bed you instead of this whore!" Said Posey.
"You're the whore here!"
"Oh yeah?"
"STOP!!!" Spike shouted.
They seized their arguing, looking at him.
"The thing is, I think you're both very hot."
"What?!"
"Yeah, sorry for causing a huge brawl between you girls, please don't ever fight, you guys almost turned Ponyville in to a ghost town, fighting over Fluttershy's custody."
The 2 stared at each other, sad it was a tie.
"Wow, we really put a number on this place this time."
"Yeah, still can't believe he likes us both."
"Well, now that you've stopped fighting, I'm going home." Spike was then stopped.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Huh?"
"We may have stopped fighting over who you thought had it going on, but we were looking for a guy before our battle, and I think we may want you."
Spike blushed.
"Whoa...getting to bang milfs, wont my friends be jealous." Spike said with a smile.
"Though...which one of us will be the alpha female?" Asked Flitterheart.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Hmm...I guess that depends on who's the better lover." Posey suggested.
"Uh..." Spike then slowly stepped back before both grabbed him!
"Don't drag me into your FEUDS!"
Alas, poor Spike, for his...oh wait, dragons have 2 dicks...which means he'll be getting hit with double the pain as both mare tried to one up the other, leaving Spike in the middle of their new, arguably non-violent war, for dominance.
"Whoa, Trahzo must've had a fighting mood, that was awesome!"
"That was a very action based chapter to say the least...also what was with the Family Guy crossover on the side?"
"Who knows, I just know, that the next chapter is gonna feature a certain IDW character everyone got angry at."
"Well, I'll just have to see it to believe it, once the reader gets to the next chapter."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.22: Stealing Sombra's Bae!
"Next is...wow...really? Her?"
"What's wrong?" Asked the Cameraman.
"Wow Lavender, you were right, this is one that a lot got angry at, me included."
"This time, it's Radiant Hope, this IDW crystal pony almost caused the destruction of the Crystal Empire just because she saw good in King Sombra, but she realized her mistakes after being tricked by some true evil called the Umbrum, they look scary bu WTF? They can be killed by looking fabulous!"
"And then, after so much bullshit battles, Sombra reformed and then Radiant Hope and Sombra decided to travel the world in search of the pieces of Princess Amore that Sombra scattered to the wind!"
"Good thing the comic books are non-canon to the show."
"Yep."
"As for her design, she's a crystal unicorn, grayish heliotrope coat, pale light grayish artic blue mane and tail, and moderate artic blue eyes. She was last seen in a black cloak after she & Sombra ran off to find and restore Princess Amore."
"What about her cutiemark?"
"It's a golden caduceus."
"What's a caduceus?"
"A caduceus is a wand held by the Greek or Roman gods Hermes and Mercury. It represents healing."
"Interesting."
"Yeah, though I wonder how he's gonna have Radiant Hope fall for him."
"She's the bae of a Spike villain, she's gonna be his no matter what."
"Good point, begin the chapter."
Spike had defeated the 2nd revival of King Sombra!
"See yah!"
"You daaaaaaamn draaaaaagoooooooon!" King Sombra shouted as he exploded.
"Sombra!" Shouted Radiant Hope before 2 guards took her away. "You'll pay for this Spike! You hear me? You'll pay!"
"(Poor girl, so hard to accept when a friend has changed for the worse.)" Spike thought, feeling sorry.
"Huzzah and hurrah for Spike the Brave & Glorius!" The crystal ponies cheered before hoisting him up.
Then after the party, Spike went to Princess Cadence & Prince Shining Armor.
"Uh...hey there guys."
"What's up Spike?" Shining Armor asked him.
"Well...I kinda feel sorry for Radiant Hope."
"Oh?" Said Princess Cadence.
"She only wanted to save her friend...despite her friend being a power hungry tyrant."
"Are you saying that you'd like to reform Radiant Hope?"
"Yes?" Spike said as he closed his eyes.
"Okay."
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, we'll put you as her parole officer, make sure she's a good girl alright hero?"
"Yes sir!" Spike saluted.
And so, after some papers were written, Spike was given Radiant Hope, but she had a magic blocking ring on her horn that only Spike could take off.
"Hello Radiant Hope."
Radiant just shot the stink eye at him.
"Look, I'm sorry about King Sombra."
"You killed the only guy I'll ever love!" She then attempted to attack Spike by stomping on him, but then, Spike grabbed her hooves and attempted to calm her down.
"Hey! Calm down! There's more to life than that jerk Sombra!"
"I saw good in him, I saw that he could be saved!"
"Radiant Hope, stop deluding yourself, King Sombra was a douchebag that had no interest in reformation and you know that fact to be true! He was about to kill us all by unleashing the Umbrum!"
"How do you know the Umbrum is deadly?"
"Girl, the fricking queen of the changelings fears them!"
"So what? An oversized bug fears them, that makes the Umbrum evil?"
"That oversized bug almost took over Canterlot! Stop being such a delusional twit!"
"No!"
"Oh yeah? What about this? If I can't convince you to forget Sombra until tomorrow, you can go free from parole early and revive him again!"
She then stopped struggling.
"We have a deal?"
"Yes!"
"Good, now let's go, I want you to see how happy the world is without that big jerk."
Later, we see Spike & Radiant Hope at the crystal fair.
"Crystal corn on the cob!"
"Flugel Horns!"
"Buttscratchers!"
"Deez nuts!"
"I haven't been here for centuries." Radiant Hope said.
"Yeah, isn't it great that we can enjoy the freedome we all have?"
"I don't feel free, I feel like a black slave."
"Hey! You're on parole, try to deal with the shackles and ring, don't bring those racist statements here."
"Fine, I'll attempt fun."
"That's sorta the spirit." Then Spike saw something. "Hey, why don't we pet some crystal ewes?"
"I haven't cuddled a ewe in a long time, but...it's probably child's play."
"Nah, some ponies tend to keep 'em as pets."
"Huh, didn't know we started doing that."
"Yeah, now come-on, before the line gets to long."
Spike and Hope got into the small line, but then, everyone stepped aside.
"For you, Brave and Glorious." They all scarily told him simultaneously.
"Creepy...." Mumbled Radiant Hope.
"Yep, but hey, we get to pet the ewes now....thanks guys."
They entered the corral, sour looks fixed on Radiant Hope.
"They're all looking at me."
"Ignore them, now take this cup, and feed some ewes, I'll stand by you." After Radiant Hope was given the cup, Spike eerily found a new one in his hand. "(Okay, now this is getting strange...they better not be attempting to do something to me later when I go to sleep tonight.)" Spike thought.
Radiant Hope gave a ewe some sunflowers seeds and as it ate the seeds, Radiant took advantage to pet it's head.
"Bah." Went the happy ewe.
"Aww...you're so cute."
The crystal ponies' anger clamed as they saw, not the stupid mare who devised an attack on the empire, not the stupid mare who revived Sombra, not the mare who let Sombra unleash the Umbrum, but...just a mare, as simple as that.
After that, Spike and Radiant Hope went to the crafts booth.
"Hey, feel like making a cool hat for me and Radiant Hope here?"
Then one hat was readily placed on Spike's head.
"(That's so scary!)" Spike thought.
"Hope you don't mind that I take some time for your friend here."
Radiant Hope looked and Spike, on the brink of laughing at his silly hat.
"(It's working...)"
Then Radiant Hope's hat was ready.
"Thank..."
Then the craft pony dropped it.
"Have a bad day."
"Nah, I'll have a good day thank you very much sir." Radiant Hope then put the hat on.
"Bwahahaha, that hat looks so funny on you."
"*Giggle* You're one to talk, look at your hat!"
The 2 laughed at each other.
"I gotta admit, maybe I should forget Sombra."
That sparked everypony's curiosity, and the fans' desire to possibly ship them in fanart.
"Now, don't you be lying on me."
"I'm not Spike, cross my heart...I'm really enjoying myself, here..with you."
"Sweet!"
After some snacks and watching the the jousting tournament, Radiant Hope showed she could be a model citizen again and was freed, but was she ready for what happens next?
Later that night...
"What the?" Spike awoke to see crystal ponies in ski masks.
That's when they bound and gagged Spike! They then picked him up and started running as he squirmed for freedom!
"We...we got him! We can finally make babies with..."
*Bump!*
"Ow...okay, who made me spill my glass of water all over me?" She then saw the kidnappers. "Really?"
"I shall sacrifice myself!" Said one of them, as they jumped in front of Radiant Hope, allowing the other 2 to run.
"You've haven't noticed?"
"Noticed what?"
"I'm a unicorn!" She then used her magic to levitate her, take her to Spike's room, then tie her up in Spike's blanket.
"They Brave & Glorious's scent! *sniff!* Oh yes!"
"Yeah, sit tight till the guards come." Radiant Hope then levitated herself out of the window, to try and cutoff the kidnappers, but as it turned out, they got out already and Radiant Hope gave chase!
"Scarlet Heart, I'll distract her!"
"Go for it Fleur De Verre!"
Then it was only one holding Spike!
"You shall not, paaaaaa-aaaaaaaaah!" She screamed as she was sent flying across the Crystal Empire and conveniently landed in the local jail.
She chased Spike's lone kidnapper until she came to a shocked halt!
"What the fuck?"
The jousting arena had all sorts of spike fanfare decorations and the area was lit with torches, crystal mares of all kinds, getting ready for something, and at the end, a bed that was labelled, Spike breeding station.
"That's a lot of mares that are horny for the little guy...can't lie though...he seems more manly than Sombra after today...what are you doing Hope? You gotta save Spike."
"Great job Scarlet, but what happaned to Fleur De Verre and Autmn Gem?"
"Sorry Amber Laurel, I was pursued and the rescuer is trying to stop us!"
"What? Girls, make sure no...."
Then the sounds of lasers where heard as everything was being destroyed.
"Dammit, she's a unicorn! Let's retreat and fight another day!"
"Okay!"
So the 2 mares ran as Spike laid there like a lump.
"Spike!" Radiant Hope then untied him and took off the gag!
"Thanks for saving me Hope."
"No problem...for some reason I'm the only crystal unicorn, and that's how I saved you."
"Good thing too...now let's destroy the rest of this stuff, this could've been the reason why they were being so creepily polite today."
"Yep, but...you know...maybe I should be like the rest of the crystal mares, I mean, after today, I now understand the charm you have...I feel like destroying this after we do it..."
"Well...afte helping you get over Sombra, and then you coming here to save me, then asking me to do it here...I'd say it's the best night ever to claim Sombra's bae..."
"And the best part...I'm a virgin."
"Interesting chapter, I'll be sure to skip it next time I read this volume again."
"Aww, don't be like that."
"Don't make me put you in a string bikini and have you pose in front of the guards."
"How's about I put you in mom's trench coat and present your marehood to passing by stallions?"
Then they growled at each other.
"Uh...don't worry, we'll be able calm them down...hopefully in a later chapter." Said the Cameraman.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.23: What a Shockingly Heroic Story.
"And now, substitute hosts...Gem and Turquoise Blitz!"
"Thanks...it's nice to be here, aint it Turq?"
"..."
"Uh...why don't you introduce yourselves?"
"Sure, I am Gem, the most recognizable, if not 1st, OC offspring of the Sparity ship."
"And I'm Turquoise Blitz, I am Crystal Clarity's younger brother."
"Wow, what's it like living with such a b..."
"Finish that sentence and I'm gonna finish you off after I finish off Lavender!"
"Uh...why don't we introduce th next character?" Suggested the Cameraman.
"Yes...next is...Mjolna."
"Who's Mjolna?" Asked Turquoise Blitz.
"She's a background pony with light gold eyes, pale amber mane and tail with Berry Punch's mane style, her coat is a Grayish Gamboge and finally as a huge of course, her cutiemark is Mjolnir, Thor's hammer."
"Time for some shocking events?"
"I think...well, what do I now camerman?"
"Say begin the chapter."
"Oh, right, begin the chapter!"
Thunder cracked through the cloudy sky!
"Whoa...seems like quite the sto...." Spike was then interrupted as a giant monster came down from the lightningbolt smashing down!
"Run you weak creatures, for I am Shockosuarus!"
The monster then opened up his chest and a rapid fire burst of lightning bolts shot out of his chest!
"Twilight, a monster is here." Spike deadpanned.
*snore!*
"Sweet, she's sleeping, now the Mayor is gonna call the Ponyville Superheroes!" Spike then left the castle as he followed Shockosaurus who was stomping to Ponyville.
Spike sat at a safe distance as he ate some snacks he made.
"Where's Princess Twilight Sparkle?!"
"Aaaaah, I'm allergic to electricity!"
"What's with all the giant monsters?"
That's when the monster saw someone.
"I'm feeling like having a snack, you'll do nicely!"
"Nooooooo!"
That's when a really hard kick came to the monster's face!
"Gwaah! What the fuck?"
"It's Lily Longsocks!"
"You brat!"
Then he was hit with a giant boulder!
"It's Mare Do Well 2!"
Then he was hit by a hammer!
"It's Mjolna!"
Spike's eyes were shining as she came down with her hammer! Out of all of Ponyville's Superheroines, Mjolna was his favorite, he'd buy all of hermerchandise, watch her movies, play her video games, read her fanfictions and sometimes write her fanfictions and when Twi & Starlight are asleep, he'd even makeout with a Mjolna action figure.
"You can do it Mjolna!" Spike cheered with heart eyes!
"A dinosaur with electricity powers, you must be one of The Escaped Bolts, anyways, I'm going to eliminate you!"
"Ha! You're just who I've been waiting for!"
"What?!"
That's when he started absorbing her electricity!
"(No! Mjolna!)"
"*groan!* Stoooooop!"
"Never! Once I absorb all of your god like electricity, I'll become unstoppable!"
"Not gonna happen pal!" Said Lily Longsocks as she and Mare do Well 2 sprang into action! Lily, preparing for a punch and Mare do Well 2 shooting energy blasts!
"Hah!" Shockosuarus then flicked away Lily and then absorbed energy from Mare do Well 2! "Awesome, now I'll get god powers and alicorn powers!"
"Oh-no, Mare do Well 2 & Mjolna are in trouble!"
"Where's Princess Twilight and her friends?"
"(I gotta save her...wait...could it be? Could this really be my chance to win her over, like in my fanfics?)" It was at that moment that Spike stood up and shot a fireball at Shockosuarus!
"Huh?" He then spotted Spike. "What? A pint sized dragon is really gonna defeat a big strong dinosaur like me?"
Spike then shot another fireball at his eye!
"Gah! That stings you little bastard! If you're so suicidal, then I'd be happy to kill you off!" He then began shooting lightingbolts at Spike, but he jumped out of the way and disappeared behind a house! "Hah, trying to run eh? You wont get away from me!" He then stopped draining energy from Mjolna and Mare do Well 2 as he stomped towards the back of the house, only to find a small hole! "Ha! Now to blast lightning into the hole, and Hasta la Vista!"
Spike then popped out under his belly and ran for cover as Shockosuarus shot lightning into the hole which came out the hole under him!
"Oh! That's smarts!" He then looked around. "Okay...where are yah, you clever little punk!"
Spike made it to Mjolna and shook her.
"Mjolna, wake-up!"
"Come out, come out where ever you are!"
"Huh? What happened?"
"That guy tried to absorb all of you and Mare do Well 2's powers!"
"He did, did he? Thanks for waking me up dragon kid...though...maybe we can have him pick on someone his own size, quick, wake-up Mare do Well 2, I have a plan."
"You can run, but you can't hide and once I find you, hey, why not get some bonus dragon power?"
That's when thunder and lightning cracked across the sky!
"Why don't you pick on someone your own size bub?"
"Huh?" Shockosuarus then turned around to see a giant Beef Spike in front of him! "So they gave you this power huh? Unfortunately it's meaningless!" Shockosuarus then charged at Beef Spike!
"Texas Smash!"
Then with that one punch, Shockosuarus was sent flying!
"Grah!"
*Crash!*
Then Beef Spike pulled out his lance!
"Hah! What a stupid looking over sized lightning rod!"
"Mjolna?"
"You got it Spike!" Then she wrapped electricity around his lance!
"You want Mjolna's power? Then come get some!"
"Die you insignificant fanboy!"
Beef Spike then shrunk to his normal size as he leapt towards Shockosuarus!
"I'm not a fanboy! I am Mjolna's #1 Fan!"
"That's what a celebrity says to every fan, what makes you so special?"
"I'm the only one brave enough to stand up to you after Mjolna was knocked out, aren't I?"
Spike then stabbed Shocosuarus's head!
"YOU BASTARD, YOU THINK YOU'LL KILL ME THAT EASILY? WHAT A JOKE!!!"
That's when Beef Spike unleashed another punch!
"DETROIT SMASH!!!"
Shockosuarus then died in a hurricane explosion! Everyone held onto something as the wind pressure blasted in all different directions! Spike then turned back to normal.
"Great job kid." Mjolna complimented.
"You're welcome." Spike said to her. "It was my honor."
"Welp, guess I better go..."
"Stop!"
"Huh?"
"Uh...well..."
"Oh,you want a kiss kid? Sure." She then kissed his cheek.
"(No, this isn't how I invisioned it!)" Spike thought to himself.
"Now, I really must g..." Spike then grabbed her head kissed her on the lips, and then forced his way through her teeth! "(Whoa, such a forceful one, even with a goddess level pony!)"
Spike did not let go and Mjolna was in too big of a shock as his tongue fought her tongue!
"(Damn, this fan is really good, he must be the kind of nerd who practices a lot with his pillow!)" She then pulled him off. "Pretty brave aren't you? Forcing your tongue on me."
"Ah! I'm sorry, it's just a fantasy I've always wanted!" Spike then crouched down, covering his head.
"Get up will you Spike?"
"You're not gonna hurt me?"
"No, but...if you wanna kiss like that again, you're gonna have to work for it at 1st base."
Spike's jaw dropped. "You mean it?"
"Yes, now come, we need to get your training started."
"Training?"
"As my sidekick."
"(Best...rainy day...ever)" Spike thought as his eyes shined ever so brightly as they walked next to each other.
Twilight Sparkle then woke from her nap.
"Spike...get me some water...Spike?" She mumbled to herself.
"Alright, are the girls still fighting or are we gonna do anoth..."
Then Gem & Turquoise Blitz were shoved out of the way!
"Sorry about that, but now that we're back, we can now get to the next chapter!" Said Crystal Clarity.
"Sorry Gem and Turquoise Blitz." Apologized Lavender.
Author's Note
In case you were wondering, the Texas Smash and Detroit Smash are All Might's moves from Boku no Hero Academia or My Hero Academia.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.24:A Loving Crystal Fangirl.
"Next is...Scarlet Heart." Claire announced.
"Who's Scarlet Heart?" Asked Lavender.
"Well, it's one of the 2 fan-names of this crystal mare in the season premiere of season 6."
"What does she look like?"
"She has a yellow coat, red eyes, 3 hearts for a cutiemark, green headband, shining red mane and tail, she was the 1st character who cheerfully explained to Starlight Glimmer why Spike had a statue in the empire."
"Ooh, so our dad is getting shipped with a fan?"
"Exactly, now begin."
Princess Flurry Heart was riding on Spike's back...or was it, Flurry Heart was carrying Spike around while she flew around the Crystal Empire.
"Aaaah! Okay Flurry Heart, please...be a good girl and let your cousin down gently? Please? (Apparently her strength is greater than a newborn Earth Pony as well.)"
Flurry Heart didn't listen as she swooped down and took an eclair!
"Hey! Bad Princess, give that back!"
"It's fine Spike the Brave and Glorious!" the crystal stallion said to them.
"Alright, thanks."
Eventually, she got tired and dropped Spike as she teleported back to her crib!
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" Spike shouted as he fell.
"Spike the Brave & Glorious is in trouble." Gasped a crystal mare who had to act fast! "Aha! The eclairs!" She then grabbed the crate of eclairs!
"Hey! Get back here with my eclairs!"
"It's for rescuing the Brave & Glorious!"
He then saw Spike falling.
"Lemme help!"
Then they stopped as they put the crate under Spike's growing shadow.
"Are those eclai..."
Spike landed in the crate as the eclairs cushioned his fall and covered his body in custard.
"Well, that was unexpected...and sticky." Spike commented.
"Thank goodness you're safe!"
"Yeah..."
"Scarlet Heart."
"Thank you Scarlet Heart, always nice to meet a fan." Spike then got out of the crate. "But if you could excuse me, I'm off to the Castle to wash up and hopefully make sure Princess Flurry Heart is sleeping."
"Mind if I come with you?"
"Huh? Nah, come with, company is nice." Spike told her.
"(EEEEEK!!! I'm walking with Spike the Brave & Glorious...this is even more Glorious than when he told us the story of how he and Cadence beat King Sombra.)"
"(This fan is very pretty...I don't know why I'm not starting a harem of Crystal Ponies, or at the very least asking Cadence & Shining Armor to hire me concubines...eh, guess I'm just nice that way.)"
Spike and Scarlet Heart then found their way to Princess Flurry Heart's bedroom door.
"Ssssssssh, now be very quiet, I'm hunting wabbits, ha ha ha ha.............................what the hell came over me?" Spike said to himself. "Anyways, just make sure not to make too much noise or any noise at all."
"Okay."
They then entered the room.
"(Ha! I knew you'd be here.)" Spike thought. "Isn't she just precious?"
"Yeah...really makes me want to have a baby...would you like to make a brave & glorious baby with me?"
Spike's entire body straightened. "Wow...no pony's ever said that to me before...I'm kinda blushing."
"Oh come-on Brave & Glorious, you have sex appeal."
"Yeah, here, but everywhere else, I'm not that special."
"What? Come-on Spike."
"Where are you taking me?"
"I'm gonna show you what my cutiemark stands for."
"Holy fuck."
"With you, fucks are always holy."She replied.
Spike's jaw dropped from what she just said, then she took his hand and off they were.
"So, do you have your own personal room?"
"Yeah, but...are you talking this a little fast?"
"Of course the hero would be a romantic...and of course you'd be thinking of that."
"Oh, so we're not gonna do...that ."
"Yeah, at least not at the moment."
"So...why do you want to be in my room with me?"
"So we can cuddle? There are other ways to show love after all."
"Yes, there definitely are Scarlet Heart."
"Who knew our hero was such a perv."
"Gimme a break, I'm a single guy."
"Which is a perfect reason why I'm gonna tell the empire after we cuddle."
"*Gulp*"
Spike and Scarlet Heart were in Spike's personal room,she then hopped onto Spike's bed.
"Wow, so this is how soft the bed of a hero is!" She rolled all round Spike's bed, messing up his made sheets.
"(That is cute.)"
After her playing around, she then got under the blanket.
"Come to bed, hero..." She beckoned in a sultry voice.
Spike blushed. "(It's impressive how she went from cute to sexy in such a situation.)"
"Well?"
"Oh..." Spike then went into the bed and she hugged him and nuzzled him.
"I love you Spike."
"..." Spike blushed brighter. "You just love me because I'm a hero...I'm nothing but a dragon to others in other towns."
"You're a very cute dragon."
"Oh stop it, you're being too nice."
"No way, we live on love, I aint gonna stop." She then hugged Spike closer. Spike then decided to hug her back.
"You ever had your 1st kiss?" She asked.
"Huh? Where did that come from?"
"Relax, we're not gonna do it, I'm just asking if you've ever had mouth to mouth before...and I 'd just love it if it was with me."
"Well, no...but that's because I've been saving it for a very special mare."
"Is she a crystal pony?"
Spike then looked away. "No..."
"This may sound a bit harsh, but it's reality..."
"What?"
"Yeah, you may be a lovable guy, but it's the harsh reality that an individual can't have thier 1st crush..."
"But I worked so hard for her." Spike then started tearing up.
"Yes, but 1st crushes always suck."
"I know...but it was something I wanted to deny..." Spike then hugged Scarlet Heart closer.
"Spike...you're our hero...you can have as many crystal ponies as you want here."
"*Sniff* I know...I thought of you girls as a plan B...sorry for making you my 2nd choice!"
"Don't feel bad, we all, especially me, love you regardless."
"Scarlet Heart...*sniff*...I'm really lucky to meet a fan like you!"
"You're welcome Spike..."
Spike and Scarlet Heart locked eyes in bed before she closed her eyes and puckered her lips, Spike went in for the kiss, soon thier lips met and Spike couldn't be any happier.
"Help! Princess Flurry Heart is up from her nap and blasting the castle!" A guard yelled. "Ow!"
"Guess that's your cue."
"A hero's work is never done." Spike then got out of his bed smiling as he ran out of the room.
"I just took the hero's 1st kiss....I wonder what his virginity will be like when he comes back."
"What a loving fan."
"Yeah, I'd like a fan right now, guard!" Called Crystal Clarity, making a guard come with a folding fan. "Thanks...is it you, or is it getting hot in here?"
"Maybe we should continue the stories outside?"
"Yeah, I could go for some fresh air, come, the next chapter will be announced in the castle gardens."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.25: The Good Version of Evil.
"Next is...Good Queen Umbra?"
"Good Queen Umbra?"
"Yeah, Good King Sombra from the mirrorverse...except a mare..."
"Any distinguishing features?"
"Regular unicorn horn, black and blue hair, green eyes with the whites unlike Sombra's red with the greens, an indigo royal robe and she's very nice...of course...
"You don't say...well, if she's the R63 of the Good King Sombra, she should be awesome, begin chapter!"
Spike had just gotten back home!
"Booyah! Twilight's Princess Ranking got me Star Fox Zero early!" He then ran to his room.
"Hey Spike."
"Hey Starlight."
"Hoot!"
"Hey Owloiscious."
"Hey Spike."
"Hey Queen Umbra."
Spike then stopped and back tracked.
"Q-q-queen Umbra?!"
"Yes?"
Spike then screamed like a little girl and begging on his hands and knees.'
"Please, I'm sorry for ruining your plans to take over the Crystal Empire, I'm just a little dragon, please don't hurt me! I'll let you raise me as your soldier for your new army!"
"Spike...?"
Spike then got another look.
"Oh...it's you from the mirrorverse..." Spike was blushing with great embarrassment.
"Ohohohoh! Hello Spike, how've you been?" Good Queen Umbra laughed.
"I'm fine, did Twilight invite you?"
"Yes, she did. I'm here for a reason and one reason only?"
"And that is?"
"A day off from my queen duties." She then took off her robe and crown. "Spike, do you know where a girl can get some soda?"
"(Damn, she looks nice without the clothing...dammit perverted mind...then again, Queen Umbra was pretty hot...if only I could revive her so she could be my girlfriend.)" Spike thought.
"Spike?"
"Huh? Oh, I knew a bunch of places with refreshing beverages that aren't beer."
"Great, lead the way."
"Right this your highness." Spike then bowed.
"You're a funny little guy, you know that?"
Later...
We find Spike & Umbra at a lemonade stand, that was owned by an earth colt with brown curly mane and tail, green eyes, white coat and a roller skate as a cutiemark.
"What's up Super Funk?"
"Hey Spike...who's your beautiful friend?"
"Greetings, I am Queen Umbra from another dimension."
"A reverse version of ours." Spike added.
"Wow, and Spike had you come this way to try my lemonade?"
"Yeah Super Funk, you're certainly better at it."
"W-well in that case, would you like one Good Queen Umbra? On the house."
"Free Lemonade? How heavenly, thank you."
Super Funk then poured the drink into the cup and Good Queen Umbra drank the lemonade.
"That hit the spot." She complimented. "Thank you Super Funk, come Spike, I'd like to see more of this little village."
"Coming!"
"See yah guys."
Later, we see them at Carousel Boutique.
"Rarity would just love to sew a dress for royalty."
"Intriguing."
"And what luck, she's open."
They entered the boutique to see a bored out of her mind Rarity and Sweetie Belle as they laid there staring at one another.
"Uh...hello?"
"..."
"I'd like to purchase a dress?" Spoke Umbra.
"..."
"I would like a hoof sewn dress fit for a queen?"
That's when...
"Well why didn't you just say so?!" That's when she was in Good Queen Umbra's face. "I'll make you a dress that goes beyond fabulous! Come Sweetie Belle!"
"What have we done?"
"Most likely, we brought out the flare in her...maybe we should've with that kind of crazy face."
Rarity, assisted by Sweetie Belle worked hard and long to make Good Queen Umbra a lovely dress, as she was being fitted and measured, Spike was told to stay outside and wait for them.
"Hey Spike, wanna go fly fishing?" Asked Hondo Flanks, Rarity's dad.
"Sorry Mr.Flanks, I'm waiting for Rarity to finish with my friend."
"Okay, more fish and flies for me then." He said before walking off, and that's when the door burst open!
"Spikey-wikey, come in, and witness the gracefulness of Good Queen Umbra!"
Spike entered and...
"Whoa..." Spike said.
"How do I look Spike?" Asked Good Queen Umbra in her new dress.
Spike didn't realize it, but he was salivating from looking at her.
"Uh...you have a little something..."
"Huh?" Spike then wiped off all of his saliva! "Sorry!"
"It's fine, that looked a little funny to me."
Spike blushed in embarrassment.
"Well anyways, you look....you look..."
"No need, I'll take your drooling as a compliment. Thank you Rarity and little Sweetie Belle, I love this dress, how much do I owe you?"
"No need, on the house."
"(Another freebie? Eh, fine.)"
Spike and Umbra exited the boutique, but when they left, stallions and colts all turned thier heads, while the females followed the males, seeing what had taken thier attention.
"Well, I'm sure having fun today, what about you Spike?"
"Yep, I like showing you around but I think we've now attracted much attention."
"Hiw can you tell?" Then she looked away from Spike and noticed the stallions around them.
"Hello there doll face, feel like seeing a movie with me tonight?"
"Hey babe, feeling like getting crazy with me in bed tonight?"
"Please...just come to my house, meet my parents, tell them I gotcha pregnant, so I can finally move out!"
"Would you like to go some time?"
Stallions with presents all asked Good Queen Umbra to go with them.
"Sorry to have to disappoint you boys buuuut..."
"But what?" They all said at the same time.
"But my boyfriend is standing right here." She then pointed to Spike.
"What?!" Shouted Spike.
"What?!" Shouted the crowd.
"What?!" Shouted my dentist.
"What?!" Shouted my neighboors across the street.
"What?!" Shouted some random old person...
"What?!"
I sai...
"What?!"
Nevermind you old coot, let's go to another shocked individual!
"What?!" shouted...wait, who are you?
"I'm Jesus Christ..."
Really? Jesus, what are you doing in my story?
"I dunno...I was in the middle of delivering pizzas, bye!"
Bye Jesus...well, long story short, everyone was shocked to hear that!
"Yes, you want me to prove it?"
They all nodded in disbelief!
"Very well then." She then levitated Spike infront of her.
"What are you do..." That's when she turned off her spell and tackled Spike, assaulting his lips with her's!
"(Wow, I didn't expect this to happen.)" Spike thought as he slowly began playing along and kissing back. "(Wait...tongue? With a kid? Is she...oh wait, she's a queen, it's totally allowed!)" Spike thought as they continued kissing on the ground.
"Now beat it, as I give my lover some love!"
Every stallion then began leaving in disappointment. Spike then pulled away.
"Okay Umbra, we can stop now, they're gone..."
"Hmm...nope, I like doing this, I'll let you go in about 5 more minutes."
"Wh...mmmmph!"
Umbra did not let go of Spike as she continued on with his for the next 5 minutes...
5 minutes later...
"Well, that was wonderful, what say you Spike?" She said while nuzzling his cheek.
Spike didn't say a thing, he just clung to Good Queen Umbra's leg.
"...you're a funny little guy, you know that?" She said as she walked back to the castle. "(Where is Twilight? I have not seen her all day...)"
Meanwhile we see Twilight in her bed, napping with a book on her head titled: 'A Book so Boring You'll Sleep For the Whole Day Just by Opening it!'
"Well...I just got the new Starfox Zero early...wanna..."
Spike didn't need an answer, Spike and Good Queen Umbra were sent to Spike's room to play Starfox Zero!
"We're now half way through, have you noticed that sister?" Asked Crystal Clarity.
"Yeah, and we have 25 more chapters of our dad Spike getting shipped with others...next chapter please, I wanna see who's next!"
Meanwhile...
"Alright guys, let's rescue Lanceblazer17 from his mind control!" I said to Blood Brandy, Shogun Deezutra, Xerena and Spikerulez302!
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.26: Blue Dragon...lord.
"Cameraman? Hey! Wake-up!" Said Crystal Clarity. "Lavender, get some boiling water!"
"Ah, no!" Shouted the Cameraman as he woke up out if fear!
"There...next is...Dragon Lord Ember!"
"Dragon Lord Ember?"
"Yes, she's the leader of the dragons."
"Oh boy...just imagine if Celestia and Ember fought over pony dragon hybrids like us? I'd have such a painful headache choosing who to listen to." Lavender said while holding her head.
"Hah, that's cute." Clarity said as she looked at Lavender's gesture.
"But you know, I wonder how behind Trahzo is at Spike x Ember."
"I don't know, but by looks of it, Ember is a tsundere girl!"
"I really wish you didn't say that." Said the Cameraman.
"Why? All I said was that Ember is a tsundere."
That's when the door flung open and various anime fans filled the room.
"Oh...right...well, while I fulfill their masochistic dreams of getting torn to pieces, begin the chapter will you? K thanks. Okay nerds, prepare to die!"
Dragon Lord Ember had just arrived at Princess Twilight's castle for a meeting with all of Equestria's leaders, such as the Duke and Duchess of Maretonia and Amira & Haakim of Saddle Arabia...aw-man, I just love saying Haakim's name...it's sounds so cool! Haakim! Uh...sorry, I got distracted...anyways, yeah, Ember and the leaders of Equestria were having a meeting.
"So it's settled." Princess Twilight announced. "Next Equestria Games, dragons & yaks shall be allowed to compete!"
"Here! Here!" Everyone said in agreement...everyone except Queen Chrysalis who lost the vote for Changelings to compete.
Then everyone left for thier respective guest rooms.
"Great job Twilight, these games shall be exciting once you see how us dragons compete!" Said Ember.
"You're very welcome Ember, and I hope that you help us in the oncoming war I predict will happen since Chrysalis lost the vote."
"For one of Spike's friends...always."
"Great, so you feel like walking around Ponyville?"
"Yeah, Spike agreed to show me around after the meeting."
"Ooooooh , going out on a date with Spike, are you?" She said with a grin.
"What? N-no! It's...it's totally not like that!" Ember stuttered with a blush. "I-it's not as if I like Spike in...that way..."
"You suuuuure ?"
"Twilight, I am absolutely sure that I..." Then Spike walked by, putting his cleaning supplies away after a long day of chores. "...only see S-spike as a good f-f-friend..."
"Then why do you keep stuttering?"
Ember was very 'ember-ressed' as she blushed brighter.
"Godammit Trahzo! That pun sucked so much shit out of a dead whale's anus!" The Cameraman said as he was dodging out of cold tsundere loving nerds.
"Aha! You're crushing on him!" Twilight said with an even brighter smile.
"Yes but....ugh! I just mess up my words whenever I'm expressing a feeling that isn't anger...I mean...I owe a lot to Spike! He helped me become Dragon Lord...he showed me what friendship is....he showed me selflessness when he saved that unicorn who's looks outclassed yours from from falling into lava...he even showed me, what hugs are..." She was then gripping her arm in ember...
"If you repeat that pun, I'm coming over there and kicking your ass next!"
"And we'll join in the beating!" Said Lavender and the Cameraman.
*sigh* Wait, what am I doing? I don't need to listen to you guys! I'm real and you're not! You 3 aren't even official characters, you're OC's! Fuck you guys!
As I was saying, she gripped her arm in ember-essement.
"Don't worry Ember, what you're feeling right now, is being shy."
"How do you know?"
"Ember...I'm best friends with the wimpiest pegasus mare in all of Equestria..."
Meanwhile...
"Achoo..." Fluttershy sneezed, but it wasn't that loud, in fact, it's volume was so pathetically low, you'd need to literally stick your ear in Fluttershy's mouth to hear it! "I wonder who's talking about me...I hope it'e something nice."
Now back to Twilight and Ember.
"So don't worry, alls you gotta do is walk up to him with a brave attitude and confess your feelings, were you planning on doing that during your tour around Ponyville?"
"Yes, I do...but."
"But?"
"How will he feel about me? He's lived with ponies his whole life, I doubt he'd fine me attractive."
"He's still a dragon, I'm sure his lust for his own species is just hiding within him and he just needs the right push."
"You sure?"
"Yep, now come with me, you're gonna be a real beauty once Rarity is through with you."
Then she pushed Ember out of the castle and towards Rarity's boutique.
A few minutes later...
"Hey Ember? I'm done with chores now, I can show you around Ponyville now..."
"About time kid, sheesh."
"Yeah, I hate to keep girls waiting, Rarity said it's ru..." Spike turned to see a different kind of Ember. E-E-E-3-Ember?!"
"'Sup?" Ember was in a black dress, black heels, stockings, long white gloves and red lipstick...
"What happened?"
"Rarity heard I was in town and wanted me to try this on, don't worry though, I didn't see much without you."
"..."
"Spike?"
"Wha? Oh...right...better get going Spike then extended his hand.
"Don't think of this as a date okay? Because it aint." She said as she took Spike's hand.
"Okay..." Spike said, a little disappointed.
"Don't go thinking I like you like that, okay?"
"Yeah..." He said even more disappointed.
"(Hurts me to do this to you Spike, but me and Twilight need you to wait till sunset...because it sounded very romantic.)"
So Spike showed Ember all around Ponyville, as they went, Spike couldn't help but stare at Ember.
Later, they were at the marketplace...
"Hey dragon babe, feel like sampling my finest perfumes?" Asked Poindexter...before he was ONE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCHED!!!
"Pervert!"
Sweet Apple Acres...
"Wow Spike, your new friend has the face of a bitch!" Said Big Mac, before he was Falcon...PAWNCHED!!!
"Jerk!"
Uh...The schoolhouse?
"Wow Spike, your girlfriend is so pretty!" Said Sweetie Belle as kids were swarming her, asking her many questions.
Ember blushed and then pushed past the kids and whispered into Sweetie Belle's ear.
"I'm not his girlfriend yet...me and Twilight have a plan."
"Okay."
"What's that?" Asked Spike.
"Nothing." Then she turned to the kids. "Alright everypony, I'll answer all of your questions, one at a time...
"Us 1st!" Said Snips and Snails.
"No, you guys go last!" Ember burned with a smile.
Later...it was the sunset and Spike & Ember were standing on a dirt road, but that's when Ember stopped in front of Spike.
"Spike?"
"Yes Ember?"
"I've been waiting for the sunset because I wanted to say something to you...something...I've wanted to tell you because of all you did to help me become Dragon Lord."
"Something you wanted to tell me?"
"Yeah, you were a big help and...I didn't exactly get the Bloodstone Scepter single handedly, I mean you saved me from drowning during the 1st part of the Gaunt...let......." She then blushed a redder crimson! "Did you do what I think you did when I was unconscious from nearly drowning?"
"Mouth-to-mouth recessitation?" Spike blushed just as much when he was realizing it...
"So...my...1st kiss was already taken by you?"
"H-hey! CPR doesn't necessarily count...does it?"
"You...you did..." She said, walking up to Spike.
"Well, why don't we forget about 'that' and why don't you just tell me what you were gonna tell me?"
"Okay, right after I kiss you back for kissing me."
"But, it didn't c..." Too late! Spike and Ember touched lips and Ember was holding on tight. Forked tongues touching the groove between their points! Spike struggled a bit out of shock but then calmed down a bit and gave in to her and kissed back as Twilight watched from the bushes.
"Anyways...I wanted to say I love you Spike. I owe a lot to you for helping me become dragon lord."
Spike said nothing, he had a goofy face on him while unconscious.
"Spike? Hello?"
"He'll be fine."
"You sure?"
"Yep."
"Well, it was good to know that I confessed to Spike, we kissed, and he enjoyed it. I better head back to th Dragonlands...see you Twilight."
"Bye Ember..." Then she looked down at the unconscious dragon. "...next visit, you'll teach me about dragon mating..."
"Alright, all the nerds have been beaten to a bloody pulp...next chapter..."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.27:The Rogue and the Massive Chest!
"Next is...an OC by Pia-sama."
"Pia-sama? You mean one of the most well known Sparity shippers?"
"Yep, and in this one, Spike will be having sex with the OC: 00284...or if you'd prefer the pun name, Nihashi."
"What does 00284 (that'll be hard to remeber) look like?"
"She has a brought coat, blonde braided mane and tail, yellow eyes, the numbers 00284 on her cheek. During work in the office, she wears a white shirt with pockets, obviously to show off her boobs to Fancy Pants, she also has glasses, a black short skirt with open sides, and a pair of heels, but..."
"But?"
"When she's doing terrorist missions for Fancy Pants she has a headset for communication, a black spandex skin tight jumpsuit and most importantly....a sniper rifle!"
"Oh...wait, she does terrorist missions for Fancy Pants?"
"Yeah...go read Pia-sama's Rogue Diamond comic, because when you see her, she has huuuuge tits! I mean seriously, she can put both arms under chest and she still can't hold her entire chest!"
"Huh..."
"Also, she's crazy."
"Really? How crazy?"
"In Rogue Diamond, she fucking thinks Fancy Pants is a genius for causing genocide to any nation who can't afford to buy his water."
"That is insane!"
"Yep, but Spike manned up and decked her hard!"
"Awesome!"
"Now, why don't we begin this sex chapter?"
We find ourselves in a dark room, abord Rarity's ship that the mane six use to rebel against Celestia. We see a mare with a huge gravity defying chest. She was tied to a chair.
"Forget it! You wont make me talk! My true love Fancy Pants shall rescue me! Then we'll make love in his luxurious bed!"
"Man, is this bitch insane." Commented Rainbow Dash.
"She really needs a smile." Pinkie Pie said. "And not like a crazy messed up smile. Something like a normal happy smile."
"I say shoot her." Rainbow Dash replied. "She's been a thorn in our sides for too long, she nearly ruined Soarin's beautiful chest on multiple occasions!"
""Rainbow, isn't that a little harsh?" Said Fluttershy.
"While I agree that someone almost causing some serious harm to Soarin should be punished, I don't think we should go that far." Applejack added.
"Are you kidding me Aj?"
"Now, now, girls, there's a logical resolution that we can all come to." Rarity, the captain said to them.
"And that would be?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Well...we have agreed to finding another member."
"That's true...wait, Rarity, what in the sam hill are you planning?"
"Why don't we reform her?"
"Yeah right, with a messed up mind like her's? There's no way Giantess Mcboobs would wanna join us, she's coo coo for Fancy Pants' penis!" Rainbow Dash said back.
"Well what if we broke her mind?"
"I can hear you, you know. I have a name too, it's 00284!"
"Sounds a little difficult to remember...how about we just call yah Nihashi?"
"Fuck you, only Fancy Pants me call me that!"
"Oh-no...fuck you darling...which is exactly what my boyfriend Spike is going to do to you."
"What?!" Everyone gasped.
*Warning, rape by proxy, bondage and mind breaking! If you don't like that, skip to the next chapter now.*
Spike then walked in, wearing nothing but a towel.
"You can't be serious." Said Applejack.
"Oh, but I am, I would very much prefer her skills be used to aid us in our terrorist rebellion, and what better way than to fuck her brains out." Rarity then reached under Spike's towel.
"R-Rarity, shouldn't you wait till everyone's gone to do that?" Said Fluttershy.
"Fine, but you still have the option to stay and watch if you want."
"I hope you know what you're doing captain." Said Applejack. "Come on ya'll, this is gonna get ugly..."
Then they all left. Rarity levitated 00284 into the air and then tied her in another way, where her arms were tied behind her back and her legs were tied together tightly. She then took the chair that 00284 was sitting on previously and sat down next to Spike as she pulled out a camcorder.
"You 2 have fun now."
"I'm gonna kill you all!" She shouted.
"I'm gonna enjoy this, you were such a bitch to me back when we were coworkers, I hated that so much!"
"Fuck you dragon, don't you dare touch me!"
Spike didn't listen as he placed his hands on her chest.
"Hey!"
"Don't worry, I'll only used the sharp part of my claws if you're attempting to struggle out." He replied before he squeezed her nipples, sometimes pushing them in.
"L-let go!"
Spike then let go and then stuck a finger in her vagina, wasting no time shoving his entire index in her!
"Nnngh..."
"I see you're trying your best not to moan, don't worry, I'll break through soon."
"You really think I'll let you do that?!"
"Like you have a choice." Rarity giggled.
Spike moved his finger back and forth, his dick getting harder. He then moved his finger faster!
"Nnn..." 00284 winced, trying not to moan.
"Don't hold it in, it's gonna hurt you." Spike told her before going faster!
Spike then used his other hand and stuck his other index inside her pussy, with just as much speed.
"Mmm...."
"Gotcha." Spike said.
"I'm cumming!" 00284 moaned.
Her vaginal secretions spilled all over Spike's hands.
"Y...you Celestia damn beast!"
Spike then pulled his towel off.
"You're gonna get it on with her now darling?"
"Nah, I want her to lube me up now."
"Don't you fucking dare stick that thing in my mouth, only Fancy Pants may put his length within me!" Then she looked at Rarity. "And what is that camera for?!"
"I'm going to send a message to Fancy Pants of course, of how we're going to eliminate him with the help of our new crew member, you." Rarity explained.
"Why you bi..." Then she was silenced as Spike's big dick was in her mouth! Spike then thrusted his mouth in.
"If you bite Spike, I'll shoot!" Rarity said while whipping out a pistol!
Spike then grabbed 00284's head and went faster!
"Wow, this mouth feels awesome, just like in my wet dreams." Spike said as he icreased his pace. "I'm gonna cum..."
"(You're lucky a gun is being pointed at me you monster!)" She thought before Spike shot his 1st load down her throat! "(Wh...what the? No, it can't be...this dragon's plebian sperm tastes better than Fancy Pants's perfect seeds?!)"
She hated to admit it, but it was true, Spike's dragon spunk was better than Fancy Pants's pony cum. After a while, Spike pulled his dick out, seeing the sides of her mouth were still leaking what was left.
"My, my, my 00284, what a messy eater you are." Rarity joked.
She growled at Rarity before Spike poked her pussy with his dick. Her body shivered from that.
"You like that?"
"Fuck no! Donlt you dare go in there! It's exclusive to Fancy Pants you son of a b..."
Spike preceded to shut her up as he shoved his dick in with a lot of force!
"Eek!"
"This is for giving me the sour look to me whenever I give you the friendly look back when we worked together you bitch!"
"(No, why is he bigger and wider than him?!)" She thought. "(It can't be!)"
Spike pumped his shaft in 00284's vagina like a piston! His dick, easily hitting her womb!
"Stop! No! I'll kil..." She was silenced as Spike pressed his lips against her's and swirled his tongue around her tongue! Spike then pounded her pussy harder!
"(He's more forceful and kisses better than Fancy Pants!)"
Spike then went faster!
"(Faster than him too?!)"
Then 00284 felt something happen with her pussy.
"(No, don't cum! You'll show you're giving in to the enemy! The very good feeling ene....what are you thinking Nihashi! Get a hold of your...)" She was interrupted as Spike unexpetedly grabbed her breasts! This distraction gave her enough to lost her focus and cum! moaning so loud inside Spike's mouth!
"She's weakening darling, give it all you got!"
"You know I will Rarity!"
Spike then increased his speed and power!
"Nnnnnnnn....yeeeeeeesssss!" She shouted as she smiled. "Please, cum in me and make me a mommy!"
"Yep, we've broken her, and now she's our's, finish things up now Spikey-Wikey."
"Yeah, what Rarity said, please cum now!"
"If you say so!" Spike then came in her!
"Yeeeeeessssss, I love you Spike!"
Spike and 00284 then collapsed on the floor, Spike then cut off her binds, as she hugged him and kissed his cheek.
"Excellent work Spike." She then finished recording and put the camera on the coucb as she began stripping. "My turn."
"Wow...not even someone who's yandere for someone else is no match for Spike's dick." Said Lavender.
"Hope you enjoyed this chapter...despite it being rape...next chapter now!"
Author's Note
I hope you don't mind Pia-sama, fan of your work by the way.
Hey, I have chapters in this series with dark endings, remember the Corey Powell chapter from a previous volume?
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.28: The Milf Chronicles 2: What a Spoiled B****!
Ch.28: The Milf Chronicles 2: What a Spoiled B****!
"Next is good ol' harpoon nose." Joked Crystal Clarity.
"Oh, you mean Spoiled Rich, the president of the school board and the mother of Diamond Tiara?"
"Yes, the exact same one."
"Hahahaha, what a cheap cliche for bullies...thier parents."
"Yeah, now let's start off this chapter shall we?"
"What?!" Shouted a happy Diamond Tiara.
"Sorry to say this to you dear, but me and your mom are getting a divorce, but hey, at least you get to stay with you dad."
"Hmph, I still have my job as president of the school board. Not like I wont have money and not like I can't easily find another guy." Spoiled Rich then strutted away.
Later...
"Hmph, I can find someone richer than a bargain store owner, but I wonder, who's richer than that?"
Spoiled Rich didn't see until she bumped into the main character of the story.
"Oof!"
"Oh, sorry Spike."
"...uh...did you just apologize?"
"Why yes, you are Princess Twilight's son, a child of such a high class deserves an apology from my carelessness."
"Oh...thanks..." Spike then said before continuing his walk home.
"Now...I wonder who should I start dating to one-up Filthy Ri..." Then she came to a conclusion as she returned her attention to Spike. Then, a huge sinister smile appeared across her face. "(Why Spoiled Rich, how devious of you.)"
"You suck ass bitch!" Shouted Riley Freeman before running off. "Haha! Run niggas! Run!" He then shouted, shooting ponies with airsoft bebe guns.
"Riley! Knock that off! We're here for Jasmine's birthday!" Shouted Huey as he began shooting Riley!
"Boy! Don't make me beat your ass with my belt!" Shouted Robert Freeman as he ran at Riley.
"Please, make Riley stop!" Cried Jasmine.
"(Alright, now that that bizarre reference is over, time for pla...)" Then she was shot by Riley, knocking her out cold.
Later...we see Spoiled Rich at Twilight's Castle.
"Oh, hello there Spoiled Rich." Greeted Twilight. "What brings you here?"
"I've come to see Spike."
"Spike?"
"Yes, something wrong with that?"
"No...uh...Spike? Spoiled Rich is here to see you." She called.
"I'll be right there Twilight."
Spike then made it to the front door.
"Hey there Spoiled Rich, why do you wanna see me?"
"Well, my husband divorced me."
"That's terrible. (He did the right thing, he finally saved Diamond Tiara.)"
"Yes, but I guess it was my fault, I seem to be what everyone these days calls...a spoiled bitch...everypony blames me for how I treated Diamond Tiara."
"Well of course, she was a huge jerk before the CMC finally got Pip to become the class president...the nerve of her, treating ponies like trash just because they still haven't realized their true potential yet, shame on you." Twilight said. "Also, why are you here?"
"I came to ask Spike out on a date."
"(Really?)"
"Why?"
"I want to see what it's like dating such a rare creature." Spoiled Rich explained.
"Nothing devious?" Twilight asked.
"Why no, I just want to spend the night with a sweet guy, and whom in Ponyville is sweeter than Spike?"
"True.....Spike, what do you think?"
"Why not?" Spike agreed. "So where are you living at now that you and Filthy divorced? I wanna know where to pick you up."
"Oh....I must have neglected to find a house, mind if I stay here for the night?"
"I'll set-up a guest room." Said Twilight.
"And I'll send someone to get my things from the mansion."
Later that night...
"Hmm...a date with Filthy Rich's Ex-wife huh? Maybe I can teach her how to be nicer to others and...if I accidentally get her pregnant, if we get to that base, maybe I can teach her how to be a better parent." Spike said to himself.
Outside his door, Spoiled Rich knocked.
"Come-in."
That's when we see her in a black nightgown.
"Bwuh!" Spike then took his pillow and put it on his lap.
"Good evening Spike, did I startle you with my sleeping wear?"
"W-what makes you say that? Hehehehe...also, why are you here?" Spike blushed a bright scarlet.
"Well, I want to get comfy with my date tomorrow, mind if I share the bed with you?"
"(Wow, I am lucky to share the bed with such a hot milf.)" Spike thought. "Y-yeah, go right ahead, we can share the bed for tonight..."
She then got in the bed next to him.
"You're awefully cute when embarrassed." She then giggled. "(Hmph, no guy can resist my good looks, call me a bitch all you want, I still got it." She then kissed his nose. "Goodnight Spike, try not to do something naughty while I'm asleep okay?" Then she fell asleep.
"(She wants it, but is willing to wait for it...)"
The next day, Spike and Spoiled Rich where out on the town.
"So, feel like going to a high society social meeting to talk with other's of same class?"
"Nah, they're all major wind bags, come-on, I'll show you some real fun."
"(Wind bags? Hmm...they do seem that way, we're not necessarily friends due to the fact that they said they'd stop being friends with me if I went bankrupt...)" Spoiled Rich shivered from the thought.
Spike had taken Spoiled Rich to the school fair.
"Oh right, I had forgotten that I approved this...eh, wont hurt to see what the children had planned for attractions."
"That's the spirit Spoiled Rich."
Thier 1st stop, was the dunk tank.
"Wazzap 1st Base?"
"Spike? What are you doing here with Spoiled Rich?"
"She got a divorce, and I got rebound!" Spike bragged.
"Niiiice. (Now Diamond Tiara can sleep well, knowing that she's safe from the pointiest nose in the world.)" Then they hoof bumped before Spike payed the bit.
"You 2 know each other?"
"Yeah, her brother is dating Twilight, but that's a secret a select few are keeping hush hush until they get married."
"Ooh, keeping a secret, don't worry Spike, I'll be sure to not let anypony know, just between us."
Spike then threw one ball, but missed, Spoiled Rich threw one, but missed again. That's when Spike grabbed the 3rd ball, but then Spoiled Rich placed her hoof on his hand. Spike blushed as she looked at him with bedroom eyes. Then they threw the last ball and successfully dunked the colt.
"We did it Spike."
"Y-yeah..." Spike stuttered.
"Great job you 2, you get a prize." Then he handed them a stuffed bear.
"Here." Said Spike.
"Huh?"
"Take it Spoiled Rich, stuffed animals aren't really my thing anyways."
As she took it into her hooves, she then had a flashback of when she was younger, back before Diamond Tiara was born and after she married Filthy Rich. She and him went to a carnival and he won her a prize. She was happy, but then noticed a poor family who only saved up enough bits for about 5 attractions out of the 50. She then walked up to them, showed her compassionate side and gave the little filly the prize Filthy win for her as well as more bits. Filthy was very touched by Spoiled's gesture of kindness.
"(What was that just now?)" She thought.
"Uh, Spoiled Rich?"
"Huh? Oh, sorry Spike, I love it, let's go see some more of the attractions here."
Spike and Spoiled Rich then went to a stand with airsoft bebe guns.
"Hey, feeling lucky? If you can destroy all of the paper enemies within the time limit, you'll win a prize."
"Tom Dubois from The Boondocks? What are you doing here? Your daughter's birthday was yesterday." Spike asked.
"My neighbor confescated his grandson's guns, I'm merely helping him hide them by going to this dimension."
"Huh, interesting." He said before paying the bit and then recieving the guns.
Then Spike and Spoiled began shooting every last enemy, cutting them free from the hook that's hanging them.
"10 seconds."
"Oh, forget this!" Spike then spat a giant fireball, incinerating the last if them!
"Ah! Fire! Uh...here, take the grand prize, I'm sure Ms.Cheerilee and the CMC will be here soon with buckets!"
"There you are Tom!" Said Riley. "Ey! Don't run from me! I know ya'll came here with my guns!"
"Gotta run!"
"Ey! Nigga get back here!"
"Hey, that kid shot me in the head and knocked me out cold!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure Robert's gonna beat him again."
From the thought, Spoiled Rich then remembered from her childhood, when a misbehaving brat was yelling about how his slingshot was taken away gets beat by his parents just because he wants to shoot ponies with his slingshot just for his own fun of them betting hurt. She then told him off for such a rude thing to do and how he deserved the beating. Everyone appreciated her morals and the brat admitted to how he was being a jerk and decided to be a better and new pony.
"(Was I really that kind back then?)" She then began wondering, what went wrong.
As Spike and Spoiled Rich enjoyed more of the school fair's attractions, more and more flashbacks of Spoiled Rich being nice, flowed into her, remembering herself as one of the nicest ponies. A genuine, honest smile appeared on her face...but that's when...
"Oof!" Diamond Tiara tripped over. "O-ow! My back leg."
"Diamond Tiara!" Gasped Spoiled Rich as she galloped to her daughter.
She then helped her back on her hooves.
"M-mom?"
"Hello my daughter, are you okay?"
"(Is she...showing care?) It kinda stings, I think I cut my back leg."
"Here I am!" Said Sweetie Belle who gave Dt a bandage, that's when Spoiled Rich kissed Diamond Tiara's bandage.
"There, to make it all better."
"Whao Spoiled Rich, what's with the sudden kindness?"
"Our date helped remind me that I am a good pony."
"It did?"
"Wait, mother, you're on a date with Spike?"
"Originally to one up your father, but...he's actually a swell guy, the day we spent together showed that I don't need to be around ponies of the same rank for fun...
"You used me?"
"Please forgive me Spike...but for showing me a good time, maybe me and my daughter can make it up to you."
Then they both had devious grins across their faces.
"*gulp* Make-it up to me? H-how?"
"Is the schoolhouse empty?"
"Yeah, Ms.Cheerilee said no-one's allowed in."
"Good, so nopony can bother us."
They grabbed Spike and took him to the schoolhouse for a special 'game.'...just until Robert finishes beating Riley with his belt.
"Not a lot of nose jokes."
"But for some reason, a lot of Boondocks jokes...strange...let's continue on with the next chapter, shall we?"
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"Next is...Flurry Heart." Then they ducked to avoid getting shot!
"Begin the chapter as the guards stop the angry fans who hate Flurry Heart."
Today was Spike's birthday and boy was the Crystal Empire more than happy to throw an epic birthday party across the empire!
"Spike, we love you! Happy Birthday your brave and gloriousness!" They cheered as loud music, parade floats, ponies in Spike masks, ponies in party hats, ponies in clown noses, ponies playing with noise makers, and confetti were swarming the decorated city!
"Yeah! Now this is what I'm talking about! Thanks you 3!" Spike said to Pinkie Pie, Cheese Sandwich and Party Favor.
Spike was then running down the hallway towards the balcony so he could jump off of it and meet with his adoring fans as they chanted his name!
"Spike, wait for me!" Said a young teenage voice.
"Come-on Flurry Heart, step-it-up!"
"You're too slow!" Said Sonic the Hedgehog before he sped past them and into the kitchen.
"HEY! Those Chili dogs are for the party!" Shouted an angry Gustave!
Spike & Princess Flurry Heart raced faster to the balcony before they finally made their big leap off of the building!
The entire crowd gasped as they saw a young adult Spike with no wings jump off the balcony, but that's when he was wrapped in Starlight Glimmer's magic aura and began soaring through the air!
"Ha! How do you like that trick fillies and gentlecolts?"
They all roared with delight as Spike landed next to Starlight Glimmer,
"Thanks, that trick has been something me and my friend Starlight have been practicing for 2 months! Give a round of applause for her!"
Then they all clapped hooves or stamped their hooves.
"Now everypony, let's continue with the party!"
Meanwhile, Flurry Heart looked on as Spike danced with Starlight Glimmer. She then had a pout.
"(I was gonna ask Spike if he could dance with me. Next time I guess!)" She then flew off, jealous and then sat at one of the juice bars for some fruit punch.
Flurry Heart always loved Spike, at 1st it was just some cute innocent admiration between cousins, but then it became love within her heart. She had no idea when it happened, but it must've been how she spent time with Spike and when she just hears about his heroic tales more and more, especially the one where he entered the Gauntlet of Fire to stop a potential war between the ponies and the dragons! Saving Equestria and by that logic, saving the Crystal Empire a 3rd time! Her eyes shine whenever Spike's around.
Later, we see everyone just talking as they enjoy their snacks and play the many games and ride the many rides. Flurry Heart had found her chance.
"Hey Spike!"
"What's up Flurry Heart?"
"I want you to ride with me on the Roller Coaster, is that alright?"
"Heck, why not? What do you say Star?"
"Ooh, that would be a lot of..."
"Sorry, but I asked Spike only." Then she teleported with Spike.
"Oh...it's a crush." She said to herself before Crush was dumped on her head! "Hmph, someone's gonna pay for that." She said as she got a bucket of Kool-Aid!
Spike and Flurry Heart were sitting next to eachother as the roller coaster kept on getting higher and higher.
"Man, Phineas & Ferb really need to be paid for this." Said Spike.
"Yeah, they're too smart not to make cash from how handy they are." Replied Flurry Heart as she rested her head on Spike's neck.
"Huh? Are you alright Fl..." Then they were going down! "...UUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRY?!"
They went down as fast as a meteor! No, I mean really, they're going down at such a speed that the roller coaster caught on fire.
"Good thing Phineas and Ferb made sure we wore these fire proof suits." Said Spike.
Flurry Heart held Spike close as she dug her face into Spike's chest, making the dragon blush a little.
"(Whoa there dude, she's your cousin...who're you aren't blood related to...)"
Then the carts shot off the rails!
"What the?! Was that supposed to happen?!"
Then Phineas appeared on a screen with a video message.
"Hey, I'm Phineas, this is Ferb..."
"I'm Sam & I'm Carly and this is...ICarly!"
"..."
"Riiiiight....anyways, yes, the carts flying off the rails was supposed to happen, you know why? Because your carts are sending you off into a free mystery ride. If you're wondering which ride your cart is heading to, here's a hint." Then the screen showed a heart in a cave. "Alright, have fun."
That's when Spike and Flurry Heart found themselves in the tunnel of love...hearts, swans, old man Batman in a fight to the death with old man Joker...oh, how lovely, am I right?
"(Yes!)" She thought.
"Huh...the tunnel of love...kinda awkward, huh cous?"
Flurry Heart then sighed. "Actually, I'm very comfortable here, with such a studly hero."
Spike blushed.
"Uh...feel like getting off now? You're now making me uncomfortable."
"Aww, why don't I fix that?" Then Flurry Heart went in for the kiss
Spike pulled back, but Flurry Heart pulled him in with her magic!
"(What's up with her today? Could it be the atmosphere of the this ride?)"
"Whoa...isn't that the hero kissing the princess?" Said a mare with her date.
Flurry Heart then broke the kiss.
"How was that Spike?"
"We're cousins."
"We aren't blood and I wanna be with you."
"What will your parents say?"
"We'd be down with it." Said Cadence and Shining Armor.
"Ah! What the?!"
"The carts had 4 seats...anyways, we're okay with it." Said Shining Armor.
"B-but..."
"Yay! Thanks mom and dad." Said Flurry Heart before turning her head back to Spike."
"B-but..." Spike couldn't find another excuse. "...fine, we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend, but only here in the Crystal Empire for now, okay?"
"I'm pretty fine with that." She said before she tackled Spike, kissing his face as they exited the cave to show thier love to the public.
"(Why me, and why on my birthday?)"
"I got nothing."
"Me neither, let's just go to the next chapter."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.30: The Hills have Hooves!
"Next is...Hilly Hooffield."
"Ooh, it's a character from one of Trahzo's favorite episodes. Isn't she that really pretty mare in the green dress?"
"Yes."
"Curly mane with pigtails?"
"Cream coat?"
"Yes."
"Tomato cutiemark?"
"Yes..." Crystal Clarity deadpanned.
"*snicker.* Sorry, I just wanted to see how long you could keep that without getting anno..." Then Lavender got a face full of flames.
"I do not play!" Then she tackled Lavender and a big fight cloud began forming.
"Dammit...begin the chapter, we'll sort all of this ou...*konk!*...ch! Once the chapter is over, also, who's the jerk that threw that block at me? You are gonna get fired after I'm through with you!"
Spike was put on a journey to the Smokey mountains to see how the Hooffields and McColts were doing after Twilight and Fluttershy visited.
"Whoa...this place looks pretty darn good, these 2 families have really made up." Spike said to himself as animals ran around, playing and eating. The animals then noticed Spike and asked if he'd like to play and have some snacks.
"Well...I am here already, I guess we can spare some ti..." Then a bag was thrown over Spike's head. "(Really?)"
The bag was then thrown off his head to show he was in some shed.
"Who's you dragon?" Asked the diminutive Big Daddy McColt.
"Yeah, you werem't trying to ruin the peace here were's yah?" Asked Ma Hooffield.
"I was sent here by Princess Twilight Sparkle to see how your families were doing, and wow has the Smokey Mountains ever looked so beautiful."
"Why thankee for checking up on us." Thanked Ma Hooffield.
"And tells the princess, we're okay." Said Big Daddy McColt.
They then opened the door and let Spike out, but before he could go...
"Wait!" Said both.
"What?"
"You can leave..."
"But? (Dammit!)"
"But...you're gonna have to romace 8 certain young gals from both our families."
"What?!" Spike gasped.
"You heard us."
"But why?"
"You see, we've been disconnected from the rest of Equestria for ages, we know nothing, but, if we managed to get our families to leave with someone from the outside..."
"then a whole new gen of you could live a good, non-isolated life with social skills?"
"Exactly!"
"*sigh*Fine, so who 1st did you have in mind?"
Big Daddy and Ma looked at each other and smiled.
Later...
"Whoa...she's very pretty." Spike said
"Yes, now go and get her kid!"
"Or we'll shoot you."
Spike then walked up to her...
"Aw-man, this is gonna suck...excuse me."
"Huh?"
"H-hi, I'm Spike, and I've never been here before, will you please show me around?."
"Well hey there Spike, I'm Hilly, Hilly Hooffield, never seen you dragons here before, get lost from your mommy or something?"
"Nope, I traveled here myself, all the way from Ponyville."
"Whoa, aint that where Princess Twilight comes from?"
"Yeah...I'm the dragon of her castle..."
"Aww...I wouldn't mind getting kidnapped by such a cutie like you."
"(That is disturbing.)"
She then began pinching his cheeks.
"Come along, I'll show yah around these parts."
"Thanks Hilly..."
Spike rode around on Hilly's back.
"Here, have some veggies, made by us Hooffields."
Spike took a chomp. "Wow, this is really good Hilly, did you make these specific vegetables?"
"Yep, I don't mean to boast but tomatoes are my specialty."
"And these are so good, now that you guys aren't fighting anymore, you guys should really go out and sell these."
"Oh stop it Spike, you're making me blush."
"(It's working.)" Thought Big Daddy and Ma.
"So, you guys ever considered leaving and seeing the world?"
"No...we can't...we're more comfy with ponies coming to us instead of us coming to them."
"Well, maybe I can take some of you with me." Spike then held out his claw.
Hilly blushed.
"Why, I'd be honered to go with you to see lands beyond the Smokey Mountains."
"Great..." Then she kissed his forehead.
"But make sure to get more with us, leaving's fine, but I don't wanna be the only one to go."
"I'll try my best."
"Get a wagon ready." Said Ma Hooffield.
"I sure hope we don't have to deal with jealousy when he's persuading the gals."
"No name for this miniarc?"
"Who cares, side story time!"
Meanwhile in Manehattan, everyone got off the train and made thier way for Xeenam's location!
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.30.5: Vs. The Kuromitamas!
"Hahahahah...so you've come this far...so what? Doesn't mean you'll win."
"How do you know?" Blood Brandy said with tightened fists.
"Ha...dad has a brand new technique!" Xutaga replied.
Xeename took a good look at our group. "Hmm...let's see...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13...Okay, come here my darling wife."
He then grabbed Nighttime's End and had sex with her really fast!
"What the fuck is he doing now?" Said Veetrix.
"Haaaaaaaaaaa!" Xeenam then came in her, making Nighttime's End's head turn red and then pop 13 things out of the top of her head as she made the sound pf a train whistle! Tear drop shaped orbs appeared in front of the heroes.
"What the? Are those giant black sperm cells?" Said Geoice.
"No..." Then the orbs grew arms and then sinister red eyes, and then devil horns and finally a smile as evil as Xeenam's.
"Behold, the Kuromitamas!"
Then they all had a wierd chipmunk laugh. Then everyone turned to look at me.
"Trahzo..."
"Yeah Danville Bengal?"
"Did you just parody the Cell Juniors?"
"Yes, yes I did."
"Crap!" Everyone shouted!
"Get them, my newborn children!"
Then the Kuromitama's flew towards us!
"(Please don't let me be Yamcha or Krillin, please let me be Vegeta or Future Trunks in this side story, at least they lasted the longest against the Cell Juniors!)" Brony Kaiju Soldier hoped.
"Paper Slice!" I shouted while trying to cut them with my paper sword! It missed, and then I was punched!
Veetrix couldn't get a good shot at his Kuromitama!
Deezutra tried to cut them this time, but instead, his Kuromitama dodged blasted him with lightning!
Xerena pressed a button on her belt and activated a forcefield.
Geoice was trying to freeze his Kuromitama, but it was too fast and Geoice dodged before it could bite him!
Mallie's speed was enough to catch up with them, but she couldn't land a hit!
Spikerulez302 swung his lance, but the Kuromitama caught it, threw it, and then proceeded to punch his face!
Brony Kaiju Soldier tried to slash with his sword, but his Kuromitama was too fast and then it expanded it's fists to bash him!
Danville Bengal shot everything! His fire, his earth, his psychic knives, but he kept missing and kept on getting smacked!
Omnifox tried to blast his Kuromitama with his fire, but the Kuromitama deflected it! Omnifox dodged and then hit the thing with his fire! It retaliated with lightning!
Ember Q Discordia wasn't doing too well either, even his fire powers were no match for the Kuromitamas!
LanceBlazer17 got punched, and then punched back!
Blood Brandy blocked the barrage of punches before grabbing the next punch and punching the Kuromitama away and off the roof! The Kuromitama was unconscious as it hit the concrete floor.
"That thing is gonna get up later, I gotta help everyone!" He then went for Brony Kaiju Soldier! "Duck!" He then decked the Kuromitama, sending it off the roof!
"Thanks!"
"Don't thank me yet."
Brony Kaiju Soldier then stabbed the back of Deezutra's Kuromitama! Deezutra saw a chance!
"Burst Blaze Blast!" Then a huge fire explosion sent it off the roof!
My Kuromitama, sucessfully tore my shield and was about to strike, until...Deezutra grabbed on arm and Brony Kaiju Soldier grabbed the other, they then puched this one off the roof at the same time!
I then ran to help Spikerulez302.
"Paper Shuriken Barrage!"
The Kuromitama dodged but then, Spikerulez302 went in for a 2nd assault and punched it off the roof!
"Damn these things, and damn you for writing these things into the story!"
"Ha! Missed! Missed again! Come-on lady, you suck!"
"Shut-uuuuup!" Mallie finally struck with a tornado wrapped fist and launched her Kuromitama off the roof! Mallie then helped her husband Veetrix as he shot a bullet and Mallie made it go faster with her wind! Blasting the Kuromitama off the roof!
Blood Brandy then got a Kuromitama off of Xerena, Xerena then shot a Kuromitama, that surprise allowed Danville Bengal to levitate a huge bolder and launch it at his Kuromitama, making it fall off the roof as well!
Mallie then helped Ember Q. Discordia as she punched his Kuromitama and then he used his fire to blast if off the roof!
Danville Bengal then held Lanceblazer17's Kuromitama still and then he gave it one hard punch! Knocking it off the roof too!
Geoice finally froze his opponent before kicking him off the roof!
Omnifox then got behind his Kuromitama and used a flame as hot as the sun to send it flying off the roof!
"Is that all of them?" Asked Blood Brandy.
"Hahahah...it's not over yet!" Said Xeenam as the the Kuromitamas appeared again. They then held hands and formed a circle!
"Gigawatt Blast!" Then a barrage of lightning bolts defeated us!
We were all laying on the floor.
"Alright my Kuromitamas...kill them!"
They all came at us in sonic speed, we were all bracing for impact until, a silhoutte appeared and punched a Kuromitama so hard that it exploded!
"What the heck..." Said Blood Brandy. "Who's this guy Trahzo?"
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.31: Dis One OC...I Just Couldn't Resist Doing a Chapter of Her.
"Next is an mlp OC from Deviantart."
"Really?"
"Yes, this one's name is Sexibun Bigtatas Diminidass..." Claire then face palmed. "If you want her full bio, go to this link: http://xoriginalbuttermilk.deviantart.com/art/original-mlp-oc-11-20-Watchers-Special-590657479?q=gallery%3AxOriginalButtermilk%2F57281194&qo=8
"Wow, an OC wife, guess that's the reason they fuck."
"Yes, now let's get on with this story."
"What's wrong Claire?"
"Sorry, I just don't know why Trahzo wanted to do this one..."
"Well, this one interested him, why not?"
"*sigh*"
"Oh Spike, you're so good...I'm so glad I'm your wife."
"Sexibun, do you have any plans tomorrow?"
"No, why?"
"I wanna have sex with you all day tomorrow!"
"Yes! Great idea!" She agreed before Spike came in her. "Ooooooh Spike!"
Then they laid next to eachother before getting some sleep.
The next day...
Spike awoke to find himself alone in bed. He then lifted his blanket to reveal her sucking his morning wood.
"Good morning wood Spike."
"Oh...baby, I want my dick in between your boobies right now."
Sexibun did as he said and then started giving Spike the boob and blow. Spike moaned from how good it was from his anthro wife. Spike then thrusted upwards as she sucked harder and faster!
"Sexibun, I'm gonna cum, make sure to swallow all of it!"
That made her increase her pace as she felt his dick twitch inside of her...
"Sexibun, I'm cumming!"
Then Spike's sperm shot into her mouth, she gagged as she swallowed it all.
"Phew, thanks for relieving my morning wood dear."
"No problem, now that I've had my breakfast, I'll go make yours." Sexibun said as she left the bedroom with cum and drool all around her mouth.
After Spike finished his breakfast, Sexibun then hoisted her short husband up, she then laid back on the table, and Spike's boner was ready as she lined his dick up with her pussy.
"Spike, how was my cooking?"
"Delicious honey, now let me reward you." Spike then held onto her hips as he drove his penis into her, making Sexibun gasp. Spike then went in and out of her, thier pelvises making slapping sounds everytime Spike moved his hips forward!
"You may be little, but I love that you're so big where it counts Spike...I'm so lucky to have you as my husband."
"What are you talking about? I'm lucky I got married to such a beautiful creature like you." Spike then went harder.
"Well I guess were both the lucky ones."
"You're such a sweetheart." Spike then came in her!
Sexibun screamed in pleasure as Spike's dragon cum entered her womb.
Spike and Sexibun then proceded to fuck everwhere.
In the bathroom when taking a shower...we see Spike spanking her ass.
"This is what you get for dropping the soap!"
Spike stuck a finger in her anus and her pussy!
"Oh yeeeeessss....warden Spike, punish me, I've been a bad prisoner!"
"That's what I like to hear." He said as he pulled the finger in her anus out. Spike then put more fingers in her pussy before suddenly, he begn fisting her! feeling his wife's inner walls with his own hands.
"Eeee...Spike, that feels so good, don't stop."
"Who said I was going to stop?" Spike replied as he jackhammered his fist in Sexibun's pussy!
"Spike, I'm...I'm g-gonna cum!"
"Do it!"
"I'm almost there...keep going!"
Spike did as she said as he felt her inner walls clench! Sexibun then grabbed Spike's arm before unleashing her love nectar all over his arm!
"Spiiiiiiiike!"
Later in the living room couch...we see Spike sucking on Sexibun's bigtatas...sorry, but I just couldn't resist the pun for her middle name.
"Oh yes Spike, suck on 'em and suck on 'em hard!"
"Once you give birth, I'll be taking one of these nipples as my own, I'm sure our baby wont mind sharing."
"Mmm...that's a good thought...feeding a baby while getting pleasure from my husband..."
Sexibun then imagined herself holding thier future baby while feeding it at the same time as Spike sucking on her breasts to give her pleasure.
"That would be so cute and kinky."
"And best part, when it's time to ween the kid, I get the rest of your milk." Spike said before taking a hand and massaging her other breast.
"I love you my horny dragon..."
Later in the basement...
"So what's with the blindfold Spikey?" She asked.
"Well Sexibun, I called a few guys over..." Then the stallions emerged from the darkness. "...Think you can recognize which penis is my penis?"
"Ooh...me likey, but just remember you boys, my pussy is reserved for Spike's use only."
The stallions and Spike then rubbed thier dicks against her body.
"Hmm...this one." She said as she swiftly grabbed the correct penis.
"Yep, correct Sexibun."
Spike then laid on his back as Sexibun's pussy slid his dick in, making her breathe heavily. As soon as Spike was completely in, one stallion took her anus and grabbed her breasts from behind, another stuck his dick in her mouth, while the last 2 were given handjobs. Spike, the blowjob stallion and anal stallion all thrusted faster and hard into Sexibun, while she rubbed the dicks of the other 2 in rhythm to them. All 6 then came! In her ass and pussy, then she got bukkake by the other 3 guys.
"Your wife is awesome Spike, hope you'll invite us for another gangbang." Said one of the stallions exiting the basement.
Later in the bedroom, at night...
"Alright, what a productive day of reproduction." Spike joked.
"Ha, clever."
"So...I feel like doing it one last time before going off to bed?" Spike asked her.
"Well...okay, why not?"
With that, Sexibun and Spike got under the covers. Playfully wrestling for who got to be on top, and of course, Spike won this.
"Okay, guess you won. How're we gonna..." Then she was flipped onto her belly! "...Doggy style? Because you're a dog in an alternate universe?"
"Yeah, this day actually marks the day me and Twilight went to another world together."
"Cool, alright doggy-doggy, come and get some."
Spike then stuck his dick into her pussy again before he just went nuts!
"Ah! Spike! That's too fast!"
Spike slowed his thrusts as Sexibun panted.
"Sorry, I wanna end this day off with a big bang you know?"
"Oh really?" Then her horn began to glow.
"Huh? What are you..."
"I cast a spell that will give you an intense ejaculation."
"Really?"
"Yeah, how intense you're going, will be double how intense your ejaculation wi..." She was unable to finish as Spike rapidly and furiously slammed his dick into her body!
"Sorry if I'm hurting you, but I'm gonna milk this boost for all it's worth!"
"*moan* Oh, it's...ah! No problem Spike! Eek! Because I love you!"
"I.....love.....you...." Then he came. "TOOOOOO!!!"
His sperm shot into Sexibun's vagina like a waterhose! Both screamed in extreme ecstasy as they held eachother so close...after the excitement...they lay next to each other on the bed...
"That was great Sexibun."
"Yes it was Spike, thanks for suggesting an all day fuck fest."
"Anything to keep my wife happy..." He said before falling asleep.
"Tee-hee-hee...Goodnight Spike."
"Pretty crazy chapter, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah, the sex scenes may have been short, but there were a lot of them."
"I wonder what other OC's out there have been given a crush, or are dating, or are married to Spike."
"We may never know...but right now, let's get to the next chapter."
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
"Next is...Belcher."
"Belcher?" Asked Lavender.
"The winning fan name for the female dragon who wanted to make burps and official greeting."
"Oh yeah.......OH YEAH!!! Now I remember, she's that dragoness with our scale color, an inbetween of our mane color for her spines, red eyes, short horns, that strange Mewtwo tail, and those adorable bunny ears! Those were always Trahzo's favorite feature an why he tried hard for the fan name to be Bunsen."
"Sadly, Bunsen, a more clever name for her design never caught on and then we got Prominence for a while before Belcher stole the whole thing."
"Yeah, but still, she and Ballista are on the under appreciated side...especially Ballista...speaking of, she'll get a chapter as well in this story...just throwing it out there for you readers...right now, it's time for a Death Battle.............."
A lot of akward silence.
"Just start reading okay?"
"Alright Spike, after going through all the steps, I think you're ready to go out into the Dragonlands and attempt to ask out one of the locals." Exclaimed Princess Ember.
"If you think I'm ready...I'll see what I can do..." Spike said as he went out into the Dragonlands and saw a few dragons.
They were all engaged in a belching contest.
"(Hmm...Maybe I better leave them alone, they seem busy.)" But as Spike made an attempt to leave...
"Hic...*burp!*" Spike belched a letter.
"Dear Spike,
Hope I'm not interrupting anything, I just wanted to let you know that the Crystal Empire wants to celebrate your birthday party next week.
Signed
P.S. Don't know what this means, but you need to be ready to duck a duck."
Spike was confused by this.
"Duck a..."
"Hey Shorty!"
"Eep! Yeah?"
"Did you just magically burp a letter?" Asked a rabbit eared dragon.
"Yes, b-but the letter said nothing important!" Spike then shred the letter. "(Now that was close, how many times must I save the Crystal Empire, sheesh.)"
"Nevermind the letter, can you teach me that?"
"Oh...alright...I'm Spike."
"Belcher, nice to meet the guy who beat Garble."
Spike smiled. "(Oh yeah I forgot, I wish I had the guts to tell her I beat him twice.)"
"So...what would the best place to be to teach me this?"
"...hmm..."
Later...
"Whoa...you live in this huge tasty cast..."
"Don't you dare, lest Princess Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer blasts you to bits!"
"Princess Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer?"
"They live here and are very powerful...now come with me." Spike demanded.
"Whatever you say Dragonlord..." She said in a sarcastic and joking tone.
Spike roled his eyes from the statement. So Spike and Belcher practiced.
"Dammit, another burnt paper."
"Try harder...focus on the one you're sending it to."
Belcher than thought harder and then blew on the piece of paper. Then the paper got burnt up again.
"Grr...this is hard..."
Spike then looked at the clock.
"Well, it does seem we've been practicing for an hour...why don't we go take a break and have a snack?"
"Sounds good to me little guy, so what gems you got?"
"Oh, you're gonna love these." Spike told her as he lead Belcher to the fridge.
He then handed her a sapphire cupcake.
"Wow, did you make this?"
"Yep, these nice ponies I know taught me how to make all sorts of baked gem goods."
"You don't say." She then ate the cupcake. "Aw-man, if only I had gotten that scepter, then I'd have pony bakers make me this."
"I could teach you as well."
"Let's just stick with messge burps for now."
"Haha, okay." Then Spike pulled out some sodas. "Here, to wash down the icing."
"Soda? I've heard of this stuff, but I never drank it."
"Well, since you like burps so much, soda will be give you a good one." Spike said before taking a sip.
Belcher drank the soda down to the last drop. She then felt her stomach vibrate as the carbonated bubbles released air back up her body, and that's when...
*Beeeeeeeelch!* She unleashed a powerful flame that got all over Spike!
"Dang, you okay Spike?"
"That was awesome." Spike told her.
"Thanks, I have been told that I could be great as one of the guys."
"Yeah, you'd totally be the leader of a guys group with that kind of burp."
"And don't you forget it little boy."
30 minutes later, Spike and Belcher were at it again.
"*inhale* Okay girl...focus." Belcher said to herself before she blew on the piece of paper.
Half of it came out of Spike's mouth.
"Whoa...that's so close Belcher, a huge improvement."Spike complimented.
"You really think so?"
"Yeah, now let's keep at it some more!"
So Belcher blew on more paper, and some more, and another, then a kush break............and then she blew on some more paper.
"Okay...we've blown almost all of my paper...and I refuse to let you burn down my comicbooks, Shining Armor's comicbooks, Twilight's parchment, or the books in the library."
"What about..."
"Not the posters or toilet paper!"
"Okay...so I guess this is my last chance..."
Belcher then blew on the paper, and then it ended up perfectly fine as Spike burped it out.
"I did it!"
"Now, for me to return it." Spike blew on the paper.
Belcher hicked and gagged before she belched the piece of paper.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Cheered Belcher.
"Glad you're hap..." Then Spike was tackled into a hug.
"Now I can teach this to my friends and we'll be able to keep in touch...I think I'll call it...instant messaging."
"Oh, that's a great idea for a name...I was unsure of what to call it when Princess 1st taught it to me."
"You're a cool kid Spike, see yah." Then she kissed Spike on the cheek.
Spike blushed. "Oh geez..." Spike said embarrassed.
Then as Belcher walked off into the sunset, Spike couldn't help but notice a duck coming right at him! Spike ducked!
"Phew, that must've been what the P.S. meant."
It had been months since Spike and Belcher saw each other.
"Here you go Twilight, your fave break...hic..."
Twilight then took her breakfast and teleported behind Spike as he burped a letter.
"Dear Spike,
Belcher here, me and my friends have been going crazy with the instant messages. Aw-man, I can't tell you how connected the 3 of us feel. Also, for making my burps fun and have a message for me almost everytime, me and my friends decided to come over to your castle for Dragon Mating Season, which has begun now.
Love,
P.S.: Hope you'll survive, us dragons sure get wild when doing it and we have the stamina for it." Spike then put down the letter. *Gulp* "Sounds fu...*burp!*" The air he swallowed came back up.
Then the doors to kitchen opened.
"That sounds like the burp of a ready dragon."
Then Spike was grabbed, along with a six pack of sodas.
"What would it feel like to date a dragon?" Asked Lavender.
"Not sure, but hopefully they wont be some barbaric jerk." Replied Claire as they pondered. "Next chapter."
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Ch.33: And Then I Got High 2: High on the Smokey Mountains.
"Next is...Tree H. Hooffield."
"Isn't she that red pony with the messed up Pinkie Pie style mane and tail?"
"Yeah, she also has green eyes, a gap in her teeth, she's chewing on a thin green piece of grass I think and she has a purple hat."
"Purple hat? Th-that means..."
"Then the doors flung open."
"Hello bitches and hoes, my name is Apimpnamedslickback. And you must address me by the whole thing, which includes the Apimpnamed part. So what's this I heard about a purple hat?"
Then Lavender and Claire face palmed.
"Also, this is gonna be a stoner Spike story." The Cameraman told them.
The girls then face palmed twice as hard!
"Okay Spike, next gal is over there." Directed Big Daddy McColt.
"Yeah, that thar is Tree H. Hooffield!" Said Ma Hooffield.
"Tree H. ?" Then Spike thought of Treehugger. 'Hopefully I get to get high.'
"Something the matter?"
"Nah, her name just reminded me of someone."
"Well anyways, unless you get 8 gals out of the Smokey Mountains, you aint leaving, not good luck." Said Ma before Big Daddy pushed Spike out of the bushes.
"Hey there, you must be Tree." Spike greeted.
"You must be Skipe, how'd you know my name?"
"Spike, Ma and Big Daddy told me everyone's names."
"Oops, Spike, got it." She then rubbed his head.
"Wait a minute...is that plant you're chewing on....weed?" Spike pointed out.
She then covered his mouth in panic. Then she smiles as some family walks by.
"How did you know this is weed?" She whispered.
Even though his mouth was covered, he was indeed smiling. Spike then removed her hooves from his mouth.
"I smoke crystal meth, and at times I do weed."
"But you're so young."
"I'm only a few years younger than my mom Twilight. Also, she doesn't know I've been smoking all sorts of stuff for years."Tree H. Hooffield's jaw dropped at that. "So, feel like going somewhere private and smoke some weed?"
"Okay, I never had a smoking buddy before."
"Well, show me your secret garden and we can get started." Spike told her.
Later in Tree's cabin...
"So nopony's found this?" Spike questioned.
"Yep, and after the McColt's showed us the secrets to building stuff, I learned how to build a filter that filter's out smoke and the smell."
"Awesome." Spike replied. 'I gotta ask her how to after me, her and Hilly get out of here.' Spike thought.
So Spike and Tree H. Hooffield began smoking and getting really high from the weed.
"Ya know Spike...I was scared you'd judge me." Said Tree. "The fact I do this even though we Hooffields are supposed to be proud farmers."
"I was scared you'd judge me to Tree." Spike said back. "I'm too scared to tell my friends I do shit like this."
"Aww." Then Tree put a hoof around his back and pulled him into a hug. "It's okay Spike, we both finally found someone we can share this secret with."
"That we do, I'm so lucky to have met you."
"Same here."
Then they began blowing smoke rings. Spike started off with a huge one. Tree H. Hooffield then used the gap in her teeth to make a cone. Spike then took it up a notch by blowing a spiral. She blew a swirl. He blew a bubble and she blew a UFO.
"Dang, that's impressive."
"You learn a thing or 2 when you have a lot of time on your hands and not fighting another family."
Spike and Tree snickered from that.
"Do you ever feel like leaving this place and seeing the other kinds of ways to get high?"
"To be honest, I've gotten sick of the same weed over and over...will you show me?"
"Does this answer your question?" Then Spike kissed her cheek.
"Why Spike...I'm very flattered..." She blushed.
"I just gotta do a few things for Ma and Big Daddy and then we can go."
"I like your plan, but I don't wanna leave my family..."
"Well, it's a good thing I know a few Hooffields who want to go with me, McColts too." Spike lied knowing he still has to convince 6 more mares to go with him.
"Really? Oh thank you Spike!" Then she kissed him on the lips.
'Wow, that's some taste.' Spike thought sarcastically. "Maybe we should kiss when we're not high."
"Agreed." She said and then spit.
"Alright, now let's get out of here, my break's almost over."
"Okay, I'll try to finish everything Ma and Big Daddy want me to do a soon as possible."
Then they exited the cabin.
"See yah around boy." She then kissed his cheek before walking away to work on the...I have no idea what that thing on her cutiemark is.
'Alright, 2 down, 6 more to go. I wonder who Ma Hooffield and Big Daddy McColt will tell me to go for next.' He said before walking to the heads of both clans.
"Alright, now that we got rid of....Apimpnamedslickback, who'll apparently come back to correct us because we have to say the whole thing, let's begin the chapter." Said Crystal Clarity.
"The chapter already ended." The Cameraman informed them.
Then they face palmed again.
Author's Note
Please, please don't do weed, meth or any other of those things.
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Ch.34: The Milf Chronicles 2: Fluttershy's True Mom!
"Next is...Mrs.Shy?"
"Mrs.Shy?"
Then they looked at the cameraman.
"You didn't see Flutter Brutter? It features Fluttershy's family!"
Lavender and Crystal Clarity's eyes widened.
"We'll be back in about 20 minutes, give or take 3 extra!" Said Claire.
"Yeah, see yah!" Said Lavender!
After about 20 minutes...
"Alright, we're back and for some reason Fluttershy's real mom kinda has Apple Bloom's colors."
That's when their eyes widened from what Lavender just said.
"I wonder if they will cause this kind of drama in a later episode." Commented Claire.
"Let's not worry about that now, let's get to the story."
The sky was dark and gloomy as a crowd looked at the tombstone of Mr. Shy. His family sobbed, seeing the casket enter the ground.
"Oh dear!" cried Mrs. Shy sobbing on the ground while covering her face.
"Why, why daddy you cruel world." Cried Zephyr Breeze.
Fluttershy sobbed while her friend Spike rubbed her back.
"Fluttershy?"
"Yes Spike?"
"It's almost time to go...his sacrifice wont be in vain."
She nodded and hugged him as the crowd slowly walked away with tears.
"It saddens me to say, but I gotta go too. Limestone wont like it if I'm gone for too long." Said Zephyr Breeze, regretting ever making the moves her. "See yah mom."
Mrs. Shy just nodded while trying to wipe her tears away.
The only ones left were Spike and Mrs.Shy. Spike walked up to Mrs.Shy and gave her a hug.
"Would you like me to stay at your place for a while? You could really need someone." Spike offered.
"Thank you....I'd really like that." she nodded with gratefulness.
Spike got on her back and off they were to Cloudsdale. When they reached the house, Mrs. Shy slowly trudged inside with her head down. Spike leaned down and hugged her neck, trying to make feel better. She sniffled and sat on the couch without taking Spike off.
"Oh Spike, what am I going to do now?"
"Life Insurance?"
"There's that, but what about love?"
"Well, maybe try to wait before finding someone so soon. Give yourself some time to deal with this first before meeting anyone. Lot of stallions out there who might take advantage of you in this state."
"Okay Spike, I'll try...*Sob*"
Spike got out a box of tissues for the sad mare. She took some and dabbed her eyes while Spike rubbed her back.
"So Mrs.Shy...since your daughter is out and your son is being someone's bitch.....where am I gonna sleep for tonight?"
"*Sniff* you can bunk in one of their beds if you want."
"I'll probably sleep in Fluttershy's bed...Zephyr kinda disgusts me."
"Alright." she nodded before hugging Spike back with another sniffle.
"Maybe I'll prepare us some food?"
"Yeah, I am kinda hungry."
After a good homecooked meal, Mrs.Shy calmed down a bit.
"Thank you for helping me Spike."
"Don't mention it, a beatiful mare like you? I don't want to see a sad face on somepony like you."
Mrs.Shy blushed from Spike's compliment.
"Thank you Spike."
"It's the truth, you're so pretty and you strangely remind me of one of my friends."
Meanwhile...
"Achoo!" Apple Bloom sneezed.
"And who would that be?"
"Eh, nevermind."
"Why do I feel mad?" pondered Apple Bloom.
"Anyways Mrs.Shy, maybe we should do some gardening?" Spike suggested.
"Well, that does help me think about other things."
"Great, let's go tend to your flowers now Mrs.Shy, the path to moving on still has just started."
She got up and walked to her garden while Spike stayed on her back. They tended to the garden, spraying water, putting in fertilizer, removing caterpillars, planting some new plants as well. All the while Mrs. Shy slowly started to smile. Her smile was clearly towards Spike and not for her flowers.
"(What a sweet boy.)" She thought.
"Well, that should be the last daisy."
"Again, thank you Spike. This old mare sure appreciates it."
"Old? I don't see it." he shrugged. "Seriously, you don't have a single wrinkle anywhere."
She blushed from what he said.
"Oh my, you're every bit of sweet like my husband." Just saying that made her look away and lose her smile.
Spike got up and gave her another hug.
"It's okay." Spike assured her. "You'll move on, he'd want that."
She nodded and hugged him tighter while some tears came out.
"I'm pretty tired right now, I'll go take a nap."
"Want me to get you anything?"
"Maybe you as a pillow."
she smiled while walking upstairs. This time it was Spike's turn to blush.
"(Whoa Spike, what was that all about?)" He thought.
She entered the bedroom and climbed in with Spike still on her back. She didn't feel like letting Spike take her husband's side of the bed, but since he was so small, he could share her side. She picked him up and set him right next to her head.
"I'll be up in an hour, you can leave and watch TV in the living room if you'd like." She said before placing her glasses on the nightstand and then, letting her mane down. Spike blushed as she laid her head down. She then went to sleep. Mrs.Shy's face looked so peaceful.
"(Wow, she really is beautiful.)" Spike really liked seeing her like this. "(I don't want to see the depressed mess from the funeral...maybe...maybe I could be what she needs...I hope Fluttershy doesn't mind, I don't give a fuck of what Zephyr Breeze and his Tom Sawyer ass think.)"
He moved closer and gently hugged her. Spike was now closer to her face.
"(Should I kiss her? Will she hate me if I do?)" As he thought this, he saw her lips open a little bit.
"I'm so lonely..." She moaned in her sleep.
He frowned and rubbed her mane before leaning in and pressing their lips together. Mrs. Shy awoke from this, and then kissed back. Spike was stunned before the mare wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer. Spike decided to just return her affection while embracing each other.
"(Mmm, his lips are so soft and scaly.)"
"(Her lips are light as feathers.)"
Both kept the kiss up for a minute before breaking away, breathing heavily while smiling.
"Uh, sorry about doing that out of nowhere."
"Actually Spike, I'm happy."
"You are?"
"Yes, that felt nice."
"Wow...sorry still, it's just that your sleeping face looked so peaceful, I wanted to see your smile always."
"Aw, thank you."
"So...wanna try and take a nap again since I woke you up?"
"Actually, I may need something from you before I try to nap again."
"And that is?"
Mrs. Shy smiled slyly and Spike realized what she wanted.
Later...
"Mom, I finally avenged dad." Fluttershy called as she went in the house. All she got was silence "Mom? Spike? Anypony home?" She then heard a faint noise. "What's that?"
she walked up the stairs and heard the noise get louder.
She went into her parents's room, too see Spike and her mom together in bed.
"Hey Fluttershy, cheered your mom up."
"I can't believe you mom! How dare you have sex with Spike, without me?"
She then closed the door and joined them.
"Mom! I broke up with Limestone, can I stay here for a few months? I don't want her to castrate me with her sword like eyebrows."
Zephyr Breeze then entered his mom's room and fainted upon what he saw. They all looked up to see Zephyr, shrugged and went back to thier fun.
"Hah, Spike sure helped her let it go."
"Don't you dare mention relating to Frozen, unless you're roasting Frozen, got it? Or we'll roast you!" Both girls told the cameraman.
"Heh...got it..."
Author's Note
Also, a thank you to Spikerulez302 for helping me with this chapter.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.35: The Harpoon Pirate Dragon!
"Next is....Ballista."
"Who's Ballista?" Asked Lavender.
"She's that pink background dragon who stood on her tail back in the episode: Dragon Quest."
"You mean the one with the harpoon snout, hook shaped horns and trident tail?"
"Exactly, Trahzo wanted someone to give a pirate themed name, but someone suggested Ballista...not sure how that relates to pirates since they used swords, cannons and early pistols, but it seemed to have caught on...he's still ticked about how people chose Belcher over Bunsen for that other dragon."
"Well anyways, let's begin this chapter and then see how the team is going to survive this next oart of the side-story."
All bowed to Dragonlord Spike as he held aloft the Bloodstone Scepter in the heart of the Flamecano. Flexing his rippling muscles and letting his cape flow. Twilight, Rarity and Ember holding onto his legs.
"That's right everybody, I'm the new dragonlord, and as your dragonlord, I demand..." That's when water began flowing in! "What in the?"
*Splash!*
"Gah!" Spike gasped as he woke-up to find himself on a pirate ship! "P-pirates!" Spike blurted out.
"Argh..."
"What shall we do with this little lad?" Asked....wait, is that Flapjack?
"We need to inform the captain first." Said...wait, Roronoa Zoro? "1st Mate Peggy the Pirate!"
"Argh! Right away matey!" Said Peggy the-OH COME ON, YOU KNOW THAT'S SPONGEBOB!
Spike was quaking in fear.
"Don't ye move a muscle, we wont hurt you...unless the captain tells us too, and in that case we will hurt you very brutally." Said...wait, that's the unnamed Pirate Captain from Kappa Mikey!
"Wow, look at all of these references." Spike said to himself before 2 pirates walked up to him. "A reindeer and a comic relief?"
"Hey! We're the doctors here!" Said Tony Tony Chopper.
"Yeah, show some respect before whether or not the captain decides to kill you." Said Don Dogoier from Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger.
That's when the Captain appeared.
"So...where is this...rescue?" Asked the captain.
"Captain Marvelous, he be right over there with the medics." Said Risky Boots the pirate.
The man with spiky anime live action hair and huge red coat walked over to Spike and picked him up by his tail.
"What shall we do with this one? Cry out your ideas!"
"Make him walk the plank!" Shouted Shmee!
"Stab him!" Shouted Blind Beard the Pirate AKA Patrick Star.
"Tar and Feather the lad!" Said a Team Aqua Grunt. "Then let me feed him to my Sharpedo!"
"Give him a dirt nap!" Said Patchy the Pirate!
"Wak, so many references in this chapter huh reader?" Said Potty. "Why are you reading this anyways?"
"Let him go!" Spike suggested.
"Boo!" All the pirates chanted.
"(Can't blame a guy for trying.)" Spike thought.
More and more pirates kept on shouting thier ideas!
"Take him home!" Shouted a voice.
They all stopped and turned to see who it was.
"Ballista, surely ye jest." Said a Space Pirate. "We should feed him to Ridely."
"No, I know who this boy is. He was Dragonlord for a few seconds before handing his title over to another more worthy dragon." Ballista replied before slapping the space pirate.
"You say this kid was Dragon Lord for a while?"
"It was in a really awesome way." Spike added.
"So please Captain Marvelous, let him go home." Pleaded Ballista.
"...Fine!" Marvelous concluded, getting groans from the crew. "So, where do you live boy?"
"Ponyville."
"Why...that's not to far from here, Franky, take the wheel and full speed ahead to Equestria's Ponyville!"
So as the pirates continued on with thier activities such as Tetra racing Foxy the Pirate Fox around the ship, Spike and Ballista where in Ballista's quarters.
"So what exactly happaned that made you go overboard?"
"Well...I can't remember all of it, but one night I think I saw...something huge smash the cruise ship I was on..."
"The cruise ship you were on?"
"Yeah, I won a ticket to the ship and one night when I was stargazing..."
"Then?"
"I can't remember what it was. I know it wasn't an iceberg that hit, because the thing that smashed the ship moved around before smashing it, I must've fell unconsious afterwards."
"Well, that just worries me now Spike, if something's that big and strong...I'd hate for us to run into it." Ballista shuddered just for thinking about it, whatever it was.
"Don't be scared, I see a lot of tough pirates on this ship, especially that cyborg guy."
"Thanks for the reassurance, you can stay here if you want, I gotta go, it's almost time to catch lunch."
"You catch lunch for the whole crew? Cool."
"It would be, if I wasn't the damn fishing hook!"
"What?!"
"Look at these horns Spike! I don't get respect for risking my oxygen to help these guys eat."
"Wow, sounds like you should leave them."
"But where should I go? I have no home besides this ship."
"You could come live with me." Spike suggested.
"You'd be willing to let me stay at your cave?"
"Castle actually."
"C-C-Castle?! Dammit, not only you were dragonlord but you're a royal dragon." She said in frustration. "(Wait...he might be loaded...am I really going to let my pirate greed just...of course it will you idiot!)"
"Yeah, I may live in a castle like some dragons, but I don't think money's my kind of thing."
"What do you mean Spike?"
"I felt greed before...I don't like it, I almost destroyed my hometown Ponyville from being so greedy."
"And they didn't run you out of town afterwards?"
"Yep Ballista...since the dragon was a full sized adult, the cops didn't think it was me."
"You're lucky, I gotta go get those fish now, see yah when I'm done Spike." Then after leaving her quarters... "(A dragon who refuses greed...huh...)"
A few hours later...
Spike sat next to Ballista during dinner.
"Chef Sanji, as usual, marvelous." Captain Marvelous complimented.
"Yeah, very good." Said Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.
'There sure are a lot of unique looking pirates.' Spike thought before returning to his food.
"So Spike, what's it like?"
"What's what like?"
"Not being instinctively greedy like other dragons?"
"Well, I have friends, I'm not a big jerk like other dragons." He said while thinking of Garble. "And I'm liked by everyone."
"Huh..."
"Planning on jumping ship and leaving with the lad once we get back to Equestria?" Joked a ghost pirate.
"Shut-up." She blushed. "Though I wouldn't mind living in a castle than a cave." She admitted
Spike blushed. "Y-you really wanna go back home and stay with me?"
"Yeah...I'm getting tired of being a pirate."
Then everyone spit out thier dinners!
"What did ye say?!" Gasped the Chocolate Sailor.
"I'm...getting tired of being a pirate."
Everyone began gasping before Captain Marvelous became Gokai Red and shot a round into the air, to shut everyone up.
"So, Fish Hook Ballista, you wish to leave us all starving at sea?" He then glared through his helmet's visor.
"W-well, Cap, I-I-I..." She was intimidated.
"Ha! I was just messing with you, of course you can leave."
"But Marvelous, what will we do for food? I mean come-on, Luffy devours all of our meat!" Questioned a female Team Aqua grunt.
"We got money don't we? We can just buy a whole lot before setting off!"
"But..." Nami began.
"Don't worry, we'll still have enough for your 'tastes'."
"Yay."
"So, who's up for a good bye drink to Ballista's last day here tomorrow?"
They all cheered as music compliments of any fictional pirate who can play instruments. As they partied, they were unaware of the monster that slowly but surely followed after them.
The next day...
"So how are you guys enjoying the cruise? Me? I love it, so many lively people, yes." Said Fred Fredburger.
"Uh..." Spike and Ballista said in confusion.
"How'd that idiot get on our ship? I thought we made him row home." Asked Barnacle Paul.
"That's what I wanna know! Hey you! Get back here!"
"So we're almost home Ballista...are you excited?"
"Yeah...I'll miss the pirate life, but at least I can just settle down...uh, n-not in a marriage way, no."
"Heheh, of course." Spike laughed. 'This is great, I survived a giant sea monster attack, pirates don't kill me, and I'm heading home with a brand new friend...I sure hope nothing happ..."
Then a giant sea monster rises from the deep.
"Get the captain!" Shouted Patchy the Pirate before getting slapped by the monster's tentacle. "But mommy, I want to live in Encino." Then he passed out.
"Oh come on!" Spike shouted before realizing. "Wait a minute...I recognize that shape! That's the thing that took out my cruise ship!"
"It is? Err...abandoning ship sounds like a good option while these guys fight it off, but I don't wanna do that to them, they're like family."
That's when 2 Team Aqua grunts sent out Mega Sharpedo and Mega Blastoise, Luffy then used 3rd Gear, someone then sent Ridely free and the Gokaigers entered thier mechs! With all of thier attacks doing nothing to it!
"That's one durable monster!"
"What are we going to do?" Spike asked her.
"Well, when these guys want whale for dinner, they constructed a custom harpoon gun to fire me in! It should be under the deck."
"Well let's get it!"
A moment later, Spike and Ballista were out with the harpoon gun!
"Argh! These 2 have the right idea!" Said one of the pirates before getting shoved out of the way so Onion from Steven Universe can shoot it.
Ballista loaded herself and Spike held on tight.
"Hey kid, can we finish this thing off an make it back to Ponyville at the same time?" Spike asked.
He nodded before aiming for the monster's head! Everyone stood out of the way as Spike and Ballista were shot at the monster, exploding the monster's head as they flew further and further away from the pirates.
"Bye guys!" Spike waved before they waved bye back.
"We survived Spike..."
"Yeah, you were very smart to use the harpoon gun."
"Thanks Spike...so...can you show me what it's like to not be so greedy when we make it to Ponyville?"
"Yeah, you're gonna have a lot of fun when we make it back. You'll go from pirate to a loved member of society with my guidance."
"Glad I'm gonna have that fun with you Spike."
Spike blushed at that, but then blushed even brighter from Ballista's kiss on his cheek.
"Whuh?"
"What can I say? Your sweetness sure got to me."
An hour later...
"Alright, Spike should be coming home from his vacation Starlight, let's get on the train and meet him at the Manehattan docks extra early."
"That wont be necessary Twilight."
"Why?"
Then Starlight pointed to the speeding arrow heading right at her.
"Gah!" She and Starlight used thier magic to forcibly halt Spike and Ballista.
"Spike?"
"Oh, hey Twilight...this is Ballista, she just became my g-g-"
"Girlfriend."
"Yeah...can she stay with us?"
"First, can you tell us what exactly happened?"
"That was basically the Smash Bros. of Pirates." Said Crystal Clarity.
"Yar, but it was certainlyba swashbuckling tale!"
"Wah! Swashbuckling tale, swahsbuckling tale! Wah!"
"Where'd you get that parrot?"
"I aint gonna tell you."
Meanwhile in Manehattan, we see the side story heroes about to die at the hands of Xeenam's Kuromitamas.
"Any last words?" Xeenam asked.
"Yeah, get ready for your Kuromitama's to die at the hands of...Bullshit!"
"Huh?"
Then a huge vortex opened up!
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.36: The Bustiest Mare Ever.
"Next is an OC, her name is Saggitha Slap by Hell Ray and Yamibanner."
"Wait, isn't she an Ask Blog pony?" Asked Lavender
"Yep, she's a green coated earth mare with a 2 toned pink mane in a bun. She her eyes are a different shade of green as well. Sometimes she's likes to wear a purple sweater. Her cutiemark seems to be a green cowbell with a four leaf clover design and a pair of wings. Seems she has 2 beautymarks on her face. Her crotchboobs are incredibly huge and if nopony's milked her in a while, her cutiemark flaps it's wings, glows, makes a cowbell noise and makes her already massive boobs even bigger!"
"Holy cow!"
"Exactly! It doesn't end there."
"What Claire? What could be next?"
"She makes a living selling charms and lives in a dojo in (I think) Ponyville with her grandson Zippy Doo."
"Grandson?! But she looks so young..."
"I know, shocking aint it? Wanna know something shocking about the both of them?"
"What?"
"Thier flanks are enormous."
"How does a kid do martial arts with such a big ass?"
"Ask his grandmother who does kung-fu with huge tits and ass."
"Well, these 2 sound like they've mastered something impossible."
"Man, this is getting wierd, just start the sex chapter already. Oh and also if the person who made this OC is reading, keep in mind, the sex chapters are anthro chapters."
A warm morning sun shined down on the Saggislap Dojo as Saggitha's grandson Zippy enjoys his bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
"Granny Saggy?"
"Yes dear?"
"I noticed a dragon's been walking around Ponyville."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I think he's an evil doer who's planning on doing something."
"And what would that be?"
"I don't know, I've stalked the dragon for a week and nothing...I usually give up after getting hungry."
"Well, how about I help you stalk him?"
"You'd do that? Thank you granny."
After breakfast...
"There!" Zippy then pointed to a teenage dragon of a muscular build.
"Sweet Celestia, you can grind meat on those abs." Commented Saggitha Slap as she felt her Lucky Charm persona starting to kick in.
"Focus granny."
"Sorry, sorry. (I wouldn't mind being the princess he's kidnapped.)"
"He's on the move!"
They pursued and hid when necessary whenever he turned around. Hiding behind the corner, hiding behind a carriage, but then Spike saw through them as they hid behind a street light. As soon as he saw them hiding behind the street light, he sighed in annoyance.
"You think he wont see us?" Whispered Zippy.
"Not sure, I'm disciplined in Kung-fu, not Ninjutsu." Saggitha whispered back.
Spike was about to walk towards them, but then...
"Oh Spike." Twilight called.
"Yeah Twilight?"
"Princess Twilight?" Whispered them both.
"Pinkie's surprise birthday party for Zippy Doo has been delayed for until 3PM, so your services as popcorn maker and pyrotechnics guy wont be needed till later." Twilight explained.
"A surprise birthday party for me?!" Shouted a happy Zippy. "Oh-no, I blew our cover!"
"Run!"
Then they stormed off!
"Wow...those were some big asses on those two." Spike commented. "How do they run so fast with all that drag behind them?"
"It might be a sign that physics is breaking." Twilight replied. "I hope it isn't."
Saggitha and Zippy made it back home panting.
"I think we lost him Zippy."
"How does Twilight know him?"
"Could be that he lives in town or at least in a cave near town."
"Well, if he's really nice, then I hope we can be friends, I mean what could be cooler than having friend who can breathe fire?"
"(Probably someone who gets to fuck a dragon.)" Saggitha Slap thought to herself, that's when her cutiemark began ringing, making her already huge breasts, inflate with more milk! Her boobs grew so fast that Zippy was sent flying.
"Ow!" He landed on the wood floor.
"Sorry Zippy."
"I'm okay granny."
The next day, Saggitha Slap went into to town herself, asking around, luckily she just needed to ask one random citizen and bam, she knew where Spike lived.
"(I hope he's single and I hope he's doesn't mind that I'm old.)" She thought as she ran through the town, knocking everyone out of the way via her swaying butt cheeks and boobs! "Who would've thought Princess Twilight would have a dragon as an assistant, not me. Who'd also would've thought that a dragon and a princess could live in a castle together as friends, again not me."
She then arrived at Princess Twilight's castle and went right on in.
"I wonder where his bedroom could be." She said to herself, not noticing that she knocked Starlight Glimmer and Owloicous out of the way.
"Oww...what was that?" Starlight Glimmer groaned. "All I saw was green and a winged cowbell."
"Hoo." Replied Owloicous as his head was litterally spinning.
That's when Saggitha Slap bumped into someone.
"Oops, sorry about that." Saggitha apologized.
"Don't worry, I didn't see where I was...hey, you were that mare that was following me yesterday."
"Yep, Saggitha Slap, nice to meet you."
"Spike the Dragon, so why were you and your son following me?"
"1st, he thought you looked suspisous, 2nd, he's actually he's my grandson."
Spike's eyes widened.
"You're a grandmother? You look so young and hot!"
She smiled from that. "Oh yeah, I know I'm beatiful for my age."
"No doubt about it, anyways, why'd you come here?"
"I wanna see what sex with a dragon is like."
"What?!"
"Is that too much to ask for?"
"To tell you the truth, I've been staring at your physics defying strength to lift your own chest with no hands throughout this conversation."
"So what do you say? Feel like unleashing the dragon?"
"Yes, follow me to my..." Then she jumped and now Spike held her in his arms. "Or I'll just carry you."
"Wow, you're very strong for a teenage dragon. Whenever a stallion carries me to bed they usually stumble over."
"Probably and most likely because of your every growing jugs." Then they grew again! "Speak of the devil."
"Speaking of which they're getting too big, would you mind milking them?"
"Yeah, why not?"
"Thanks."
In Spike's bedroom, we see him squeezing on Saggitha's boobs and shooting it out his bedroom window. That's when Twilight took notice of the milk spewing out of Spike's room.
"(Is this his first time jacking off? Sweet Celestia that's a lot of cum, I better take action and find him a few concubines, don't want some kid mistaking his cum for milk.)"
Poor Twilight, having everything backwards in her misunderstanding. Anyways, Spike milked Saggitha down to a good pair of F-cup breasts.
"Again, thank you."
"No problem." Spike told her before taking Saggitah to the bed!
"Eager aren't we?" She said while seeing Spike fondle her boobs.
"Hey, you're going to be absolutely surprised as soon as you see how hard a dragon gets."
"Hmph, how hard?"
"Let's just say...they get double hard."
"Curious." She then took Spike's face and pulled it closer before slamming thier lips together, both the dragon and the martial artist's tongues colliding and coiling! Saggitha Slap could feel Spike's hardness against her vagina.
Spike could feel her wetness against his penis, he then felt her grab the dick. That's when Saggitha felt something...different as she pushed Spike off! She gasped in utter surprise.
"You have 2 of them?"
"Yeah, since dragons are reptiles, so we have a hemipenis, as in 2 di-iiicks" Spike was caught off guard as Saggitha squished both dicks inbetween her chest and began sucking them off like no tomorrow! "(Damn, she must be really horny.)" He thought before grabbing her head and helping her out.
"(Guess my 'lucky charm' was really lucky today.)"
Saggitha licked all around his dicks, taking in the new taste! Meanwhile Spike moved his hips, thrusting swiftly in her mouth. He went rougher as time went on.
"(Yeah, give it to me hard big boy! Don't be shy!)" She thought as she moaned around his dicks
"You're so good at this!" Spike told her as his dicks began to twitch. "S-saggitha, I'm about to cum!"
"(Yes, gimme your warm dragon seed milk!)" She thought before Spike's dragon cum went directly down her throat. She gagged a bit as it continued to flow into her.
After, she slowly pulled her mouth off.
"Well, that was some experience, never had 2 dicks cum down my throat at the same time before."
"Thanks, so shall we get to the main event?"
"Why of course young man." Saggitha replied before laying on her back, and spreading her legs, showing off her ass and pussy.
"Damn, you may be old enough to have grandkids, but even your vagina and anus look so youthful."
"Thank you, now take your double dragons into these caves."
"Hmph." Spike smirked before grabbing her boobs and then slamming his dicks inside her! With one of them hitting the entrance of her womb! Both moaned from the feeling! Instead of going fast this time, Spike thrusted harder! Saggitha's cutiemark rang again, making her boobs get bigger! Spike squeezed as milk shot all over, getting them wet. Spike took some milk and used it as lube! After lubing his dicks, he began moving faster!
"(Yes, this was a good idea!)"
"(He has nice technique, better than my late husband.)"
Spike's dick in her pussy was poking the entrance to Saggitha's womb as his dick were twitching again!
"I'm gonna cum!"
"Inside!" She told him as she wrapped her legs arounf his waist!
Spike squeezed her chest harder as he came inside her!
"Yesssss!" She moaned, from such amazing pleasure. She felt the cum flow into both her holes at the same time.
After they finished, the 2 of them laid next to each other in Spike's bed.
"Wow, so that is what sex with a dragon is like?"
"Yep." Spike. "Wanna do it again sometime?"
"Come by my dojo some time, I'd love to help you improve your technique." She said as she got her clothes on. "I'd love to see your cute face again." She said before exiting Spike's room and knocking everything over.
"Damn, I get a grand-milf in bed with me and she wants to teach me how to pleasure her better? Lucky me."
"Well, I don't think I'll be drinking any milk for a while." Said Claire.
"Hey Claire..."
"Yes?"
"Got milk?" Lavender joked.
"Let's just move onto the next character before we fight again."
Author's Note
Here's the ask blog just in case you'd like to ask Saggitha Slap, Zippy and her friends some questions of your own:
http://saggislapsdojo.tumblr.com/
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Prologue: Daughters of Different Dimensions.
It was night time as everyone in Canterlot slept. The street lights came on and there was one light left in Canterlot Castle.
"Hello readers...uh...Luna and Trixie are busy getting an army ready for something that they did not tell us about." Said the Cameraman. "So please...do not be disappointed with these substitute co-hostesses." Then he pointed the camera to the 2 co-hostesses. "You're on ladies."
"Thank you, hello everyone! I am Crystal Clarity! One of the 4 most well known Sparity OC offspring."
"And...I'm Lavender, another one of the well known Sparity OC offspring. It's great to know I'm not an only child in this dimension."
"Isn't it lovely? Also, you better beware, the author has dropped his policy on OC's and there's a possibility that you're gonna be featured in this Volume..."
"Uh-oh..." Lavender said as she panicked.
"Alright, we've been keeping you guys and gals too long! I'll be taking that 1st letter of the night!"
Meanwhile, we go to a grass field in a clear moonlit night! A warlock with pale white skin and claws, black spiky hair, a black sleeveless shirt, and sharp teeth.
"Hmm...time to revive my family and...I think I should start my takeover with..." Then he looked to Manehattan. "That city! And you're gonna help me mr.red robot."
Meanwhile...
"Mr.author, you know what's going on right?" Asked Trixie and Princess Luna.
"I know, and I'm going to step into the battlefield along with a bunch of others." Then looked to 2 missing posters. "(Even though those 2 have gone missing.)" He thought. "I'll be calling them in to help fight against Xeenam again! 7 certain people whom that I know will help me in this endeavor!"
"Is that it?" Asked Luna.
"No, call in my OC's as well! Shogun Deezutra and his wife Xerena, and Veetrix and his wife Mallie! Together we will stop Xeenam and his family while I write Spike shippings!"
"Okay, good luck, while those other 2 are busy hosting the story, we'll be readying the troops!" Said Trixie
"Awesome! Now I must be off!" Then I run. "(Hopefully I can save 'him' from his brainwashed state.)"
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.2: Sass in Them Saddles
"Next is...Sassy Saddles."
"Hey, isn't that the tall mare who manages the Canterlot Carousel?" Asked Lavender.
"Why, that she is sister." Crystal Clarity answered. "Begin the chapter.
It was a slow day in Canterlot Carousel.
"...How come no-pony feels like buying anything today?" Groaned a very bored mare.
Then the door opened, signafied by the sound the bells.
"Welcome to Canterlot Carousel."
"Ah yes...you wouldn't happen to be Sassy Saddles are you?" Asked a mail pony.
"Why yes I am, though I wasn't expecting a delivery today."
"Well actually, Rarity got sick and couldn't advertise a dress, so she'd like you to come to Ponyville and advertise it in a mock date."
"Well, it has been rather slow today, I think it's a marvelous idea...wait, why are you, a mail pony here? I thought it was telegram ponies who send this kind of message."
"She's on to us boys! Run!" And then all of the robbers ran away.
"Hmph, should've known it was a lie."
Then one of the robbers ran back in. "Actually the part about Rarity is true." Then he ran back out.
So Sassy Saddles got ready for her train ride to Ponyville. She had just gotten off and was headed for Carousel Boutique. She opened the door.
"Achoo! We're closed!" Said a nasally voice before a sniffle came.
"Rarity, it's me."
"Sassy Saddles? Good timing dar-Achoo-ling, the dress is in the Achoo-anging room. Your mock date will be here in an ho-achooooooo-ur so get ready, there's a make-up kit in the mane spa area, and feel free to use my shower."
Sassy Saddles then saw a make-up kit on a mirror desk.
"Bobbins and botkins, this date is going to be swell. (And maybe, the mystery stallion will be getting me out of this dress.)"
Sassy got herself all ready for her mock date.
"(Alright, the mystery stallion should be here right about...)"
*Ding dong!*
Sassy opened the door and elegantly stepped out, looking to the side.
"Hello there, I'm not Rarity, but she's sick and needs me to advertise this dress fo..." She then turned her head. "...."
"Rarity's sick? Well, that's okay I guess."
"Uh...who said that?"
"Down here."
Sassy then looked down to see a dragon in a tuxedo. "Oh, I know you, you're the dragon who was with Rarity's friends."
"Thanks for remembering me Sassy."
"(He's the mock date? *groan* Of course, if it was a real date, Rarity would be with some handsome stallion...not pint sized cartoonish dragon.)" She thought in disappointment. "Right, we weren't formally introduced, what is your name little one?"
"I'm Spike, Twilight's number one assistant, and...she's my legal guardian ."
"So, you're her son?"
"Technically."
"(Then again, maybe you've found your frog prince Sassy, let's just see how he treats you though.) Well then, shall we be going?"
"Why certainly lady Sassy."
"(Lady Sassy, 1st I've heard that.)"
Spike then took Sassy Saddles by the hoof and off they were. Walking down the town, hoof in claw.
"Gotta say, that dress looks gorgeous on you."
"Thank you Spike, that tux makes you look like an adorable little penguin."
Spike rolled his eyes as citizens looked at Sassy Saddles. "(This plan is working.) You can find this dress in Carousel Boutique's next line of fashion."
"What about Canterlot Carousel?" Asked Minuette.
"I'll ask Rarity as soon as she feels better, after all, I am the manager of that branch."
"Thanks."
"Great job, helping roll out the bits." Spike complimented.
"Well, that's because I am an expert when it comes to business."
Later, Spike and Sassy made it to their 1st destination, a fancy resteraunt.
"Hello, we have a resrvation, Marshmallow-Tea?"
Then the front desk looked down at a list.
"Yes, I see the reservation right here. If you would follow me to your tables."
"Thank you kind sir."
The 2 then sat across from each other.
"The waiter will be here in a moment to take your orders."
And then Spike amd Sassy were by themselves.
"Spike, what's your job as Twilight's assistant like?"
"Well, it's not all fun and games, some days it can go so smoothly, others I have a scroll with a list of chores this big!" Then he used his claws to emphasize how big the chore list is. " And girl let me tell you, I've been squished by a giant heavy book multiple times before." He joked. "On the bright side, I got a boss who loves and cares about me...then again, Twilight is my mom, so nepotism would be involved."
"Sounds like a very long and hard job."
"Yeah it is, now why don't you tell me what it's like ag Canterlot Carousel?"
"Well Spike, I help costumers find the dress they want."
"Sounds simple enough."
"Yes, and with the rules of Rarity, the boutique will not fail, like the others I've managed."
"Other boutiques? But I thought Rarity hired you for how good you are at business."
"Oh...that..."
"Are we ready to order?" Asked the waiter.
"Why yes, I'll have this."
"Excellent choice madame moiselle, now, what will be having la petite dragon?"!
"This."
"Good choice, your food will be with you, shortly." Then Spike and Sassy were alone again.
"So, feel like telling me about how you failed these other boutiques?"
"Uh...better...advertise the dress by walking around the..."
"Hey! You aint leaving till I hear about the failed boutiques." He said before having flames in his mouth.
Sassy sighed. "It all started when I managed my 1st boutique. I was doing amazing for a while, until I decided to let the store owner add in her own input. It forced the boutique's sales into a down spiral! The owner then lost all of her money, and then went incognito and I haven't seen her since!" Tears started forming. "Eventually, the more I listened to how the owner wanted to imput thier ideas into my perfect plan, it was just failure after failure after failure after failure! So many boutiqued closed down." Then she began crying, letting her make-up run.
That's when she felt claws on her cheeks.
"There there, that's in the past now. You finally found a store owner who's input works."
"Yes, after years, I finally did. (He's quite the charmer, Rarity, how is it you're not for real dating him?)"
"Yes, now come-on, show me a smile, you'll look a lot prettier."
Sassy then giggled from his compliment. "Has anypony ever called you a sweetheart?"
"Well, I've been called sweet dragon, but it's essentially the same thing. Thanks though."
"(No, thank you for cheering me up from such painful memories.)" Sassy then sat back up.
Spike and Sassy silently enjoyed their meal as Spike didn't notice Sassy took a few glances at him. After leaving the resteraunt and telling mares who saw the dress where to get it soon, Spike then walked Sassy back to Carousel Boutique.
"Gotta say, even if this wasn't a fake date, I had fun Sassy."
"Thank you Spike, I had fun too, maybe we should do this again."
"What? Another fake date?" Spike joked.
"I think we should drop the 'fake' and make it an actual date."
Spike stopped in surprise.
"Are you sure?"
"Did I stutter? I said that I'd like to go in another date with you, you're a very cute, charming, and kind dragon."
"Wow...th-that's...oh gosh..."
"Not used to compliments from a lady?"
"No, it's just that...this is technically my 1st date to be honest."
"Well, may I say, that you've done a wonderful job, and as an reward..."
"An award?"
"Wait till we get back to Rarity's place."
Spike and Sassy finally make it back to Carousel Boutique.
"Okay...what's my reward?"
"Close your eyes."
Spike did as she said, and like that, Spike's shot open as he felt her lips on his. She then let go and then opened the door.
"I'll see you for another date Friday." Then the door closed.
Spike sat thier, surprised from the kiss. "Wow, much better than what I imagined with Rarity."
The next day...
"Achoo! I can't believe I caught Rarity's cold." said a sniffling Sassy Saddles. Hey, say that 5 times fast! Said a sniffling Sassy Saddles! Said a sniffling Sassy Saddles! Said a...
"Narrator, can we wrap up this chapter."
Oh, sorry Pinkie Pie, anyways, a knocking then came to the door and Sassy used her magic to opened it. "Rarity heard a certain somepony was sick, so she sent me!"
"Spike?"
"Yep, and I'm here to make sure you're free of this cold for our date Friday."
The 2 then shared a laugh.
"Wow, dad sure has the guts to go after one of mom's employees." Said Lavender.
"If he did that in my world, me and mom would kill him." Crystal Clarity joked. OR DID SHE?! "Now then, one please."
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Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.7: Darker Than A Moonless Night and More Hotter & Bitter Than Hell Itself! That...is Coffee.
Lavender was wearing a cute frilly dress. "Why am I doing this?"
"Because, I want you to be ready once..."
"Umm, Claire?"
"What?"
"We're back on." Said the Cameraman.
"Oh, uh...next is...Chock-full Carafe, isn't she the earth pony from 'Made in Manehattan?' The one who sells popcorn despite having a coffee cutiemark?"
"Yeah, and when can I take this dress off? The guards are whistling and howling!"
"After the chapter is over, you may begin!"
"Wait, wait, wa..."
An orange pony in a short red mane, short red tail, light blue eyes, an apron and a coffee pot cutiemark was busy selling popcorn.
"I'll have a medium popcorn, no butter."
"Here you go, enjoy."
"Thanks, have a nice day."
"You too!"Then as the last customer in line was dealt with..."(Urgh...what am I doing?)" She thought to herself.
"Excuse me?"
"Huh?" She then turned to see Spike standing there.
"Why are you selling popcorn?"
"To make bits of course."
"No, I mean...why are you selling popcorn even though you have a coffee pot as a cutiemark?" He asked.
"What?"
"Yeah, I bet you'd make more money if you sold coffee."
"W...well..."
"Do you have no money to start your own coffee franchise?"
Then she hit her face on the popcorn cart. "Kids sure are cruel with the truth!"
"Sorry...but let me help!"
"How can you help?"
"I'm Princess Twilight's assistant."
"What? No way!"
"It's true, come-on, let me help you out, I can use the wealth from Twilight's princess money to get your coffee business started."
"Well, if you're telling me the truth, wouldn't hurt to try." She told him. "I'm Chock-Full Carafe."
"You can call me Spike."
"Well Spike, guess we're going into business together."
"It would seem so, I'll meet you here tomorrow with the money to help you start your true dream."
"Thanks, that means a lot actually and we just met."
"Don't mention it, by now." Then Spike as Spike left, Chock-Full Carafe saw a lot of angry citizens who demanded popcorn.
The next day, and the 2 met up at the same spot.
"There you are Spike, phew, I was worried you lied to me."
"What? No, I'm not gonna leave anyone hanging like that, so anyways, I got a bag of bits, and ready to start-up our business."
"Good, I got few bags of my own coffee blend here in my saddlebags."
"Nice! Now...where do we start?"
"Oh, I rented us a booth in the park."
"Brilliant, now let's get to making your dream a reality."
So Spike & Chock-Full Carafe were at the booth and Spike used his dragon breath to make a fresh pot of coffee, waiting for their 1st customer.
"*Groan!* It's been half an hour and no-pony has at least checked us out...maybe this cutiemark was a mistake."
"Don't be like that Carafe, we just gotta..."
"Ha...Excuse me!" Said a voice.
"Yes, how may we..." Then both of their jaws dropped in amazement as his theme song played in the background. "...help you?"
"So, you 2 are coffee newbs huh?" Said the human man with white hair.
"How did you know that?"
"Ha...I know because I am a not just a prosecutor with a sexy theme song, dead boobyliscious girlfriend and badass laser eyes, but I am also...a coffee lover and expert to the bitter fucking end!"
"Uh...well, why not have one on the house?" Carafe offered.
"Ha...don't if I do miss..." He then took the mug in his hands with his force powers and then drank the whole thing.
"Well?" She asked.
"How is it?" Asked Spike.
"Blacker than a moonless night, more hotter and bitter than Hell itself. That.....is coffee." Then he turned and looked at them. "Well done."
"We did it Spike!"
"Yeah, we have a satisfied 1st customer!"
Then the 2 hugged!
"Hey everypony! Come here and have some of this great coffee."
"Who is that guy?" Asked a stallion.
"I don't know, but he looks pretty badass, I'll have some of that coffee." A mare said.
Then suddenly, lots of mares and stallions all flocked to the booth. Spike and carafe then smiled.
"Thank you sir..." the 2 said, but when they turned to ace him...he was already gone.
Meanwhile...
"So...we finally meet again Wright, and by the looks of things, looks like you're a proud father."
"Uh dad? Who is this guy?"
"His name is Diego Armando, but his prosecutor name is Godot, speaking of which, what are you doing here? Are you my opponent for the trial?"
"No, I've come to do something I've always wanted to do."
"And...that is?"
"Incenerate with my laser face!"
Then Godot shot a huge laser beam and Phoenix Wright!
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Shouted the charred Ace Attorney before falling to the ground.
"Daddy!"
"I thought I told you to stop calling me that after reuniting you with your real mother and brother."
"Well...my work is done, Godot...away!" Then Godot disappeared into the night, despite it still being day time!
Now back Spike and Chock-Full Carafe. They sold lots of coffee to many costumers who decided to tell their friends about as well, making so many bits that the cash register over flowed!
"Aw-man! Those guys are taking business away from out calzones!" Said Grizz, from We Bare Bears "Come-on brothers, let's find a new location."
And that's when...
"Bugs Bunny?!"
"Hello, can I have the entire pot?"
"Uh...that seems a little unhealthy."
"Don't worry, my doctor said I'm free to drink caffeine again!"
"Nah, here have the decaff." Carafe said, handing him a cup.
"Dammit! Fine!" Then after he payed his bit, he left.
More and more customers, wanting coffee, and some even asked for Carafe's recipe, but she wouldn't reveal that. Eventually, they ran out as it was time to close...
"Congrats on being our last costumer for the day as we had just ran out and a minute before closing as well." Carafe said.
"Wow, what luck, bye." Said the last costumer walking off.
After closing up shop, the 2 were standing outside the booth.
"Thank you Spike, you helped me realize my dream."
"You're welcome Chock-full Carafe...we should do this again tomorrow."
"You're coming back? What about your duties with Princess Twilight?"
"Well......as it turns out......the reason why me and Twilight were here in Manehattan...is finding a good area for a home base...you know? A nice place where her and our friends can stay when we go to places, and well...we found a home base for Manehattan." Spike explained.
"So...this isn't just a one time dream?"
"Nope, I'm gonna stay here for a little longer." Spike replied before getting tackled to the ground and kissed.
"Oh thank you Spike! You're the best dragon I've ever met! So you want popcorn?"
Then they began laughing as Bunnicula flew past them with Chester and Harold behind him. Yeah...you'll probably not get that reference if you don't know who the fuck Bunnicula is.
"Oh, I love it when daddy helps others." Said Claire. "Okay Lavender, you may take off the dress."
"B-but...the cameraman is watching me..."
"Do it, it'll boost ratings. Also...we're nude 24/7!"
"But..."
"Fine, guess I'm ripping it off!"
That's when Claire ripped Lavender's dress!
"No!"
"Alright, now that Lavender is nude like the rest of us again, get to the next chapter."
"That was mean other dimension sis!"
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.25.5 Beating-up the Mind Control!
Lanceblazer17 then pulled out flaming jousting lances and charged at us! We all scattered and Blood Brandy found himself behind Lanceblazer17!
"What is that thing?!" He said when seeing the spider looking robot on the back of Lanceblazer17's head.
Lanceblazer17 then turned and was about to strike before Deezutra punched him, sending him flying! Xerena, Deezutra's wife then began shooting him with her laser gun! Blasting the robot with fist shaped energy bursts! Hitting with every shot!
"Wait!" Said Blood Brandy.
"What is it?" Asked Spikerulez302.
"There's a mind control device on the back of Lanceblazer's head! I'm gonna try and get it off of him!"
"I'll help!" Said Spikerulez302 as he pulled out his own lance! "Hey, how's about a little just?!"
Lanceblazer17 gave Spikerulez302 his attention and then they began charging at each other! Spikerulez302 then dodged and then they faced eachother getting ready for another joust, and Lanceblazer17's back was to Blood Brandy's face!
"Now's my chance!" He then hopped and got onto Lanceblazer17's back and began assaulting it with his own fists in the hopes of loosening it! One of the 6 legs popped off before it gave Blood Brandy a shock, making him fall off! Lanceblazer17 then turned and was about to stab Blood Brandy, but then Spikerulez302 threw his lance at the spider! Popping off a 2nd leg! That's when Lanceblazer17 increased the size of his fist and began creating shock waves after pounding the floor of the train! We all jumped around, avoiding the indirect assault! That's when Deezutra had the spider in his sights! Deezutra then casted fire and then hit the spider, popping off a 3rd leg! They were halfway with getting it off...
"What...what's going on?!" shouted Lanceblazer17, he had only some free will before the robotic spider regained control! This distraction allowed Xerena to get behind!
"Haymaker Beam!" Then a huge green energy fist shot from her gun, popping off a 4th leg!
Now it was my turn! "Paper Shuriken All Direction Rapid Fire!"
Paper shurikens shot everywhere, then I was behind him!
"Paper Mallet!"
Then with one hard swing! Another leg popped off!
"Guys, we have one leg left! All together!" I commanded!
Xerena then used her stun feature on her laser gun to paralyze Lanceblazer17 as everyone else arrived!
"Fire!" I shouted!
With our combined attack! The robot spider fell off and exploded! Lanceblazer17 then fell to the floor!
"Alright...let him recharge for a while, all we need to be at our best once we make it to Manehattan!" I said as I saw the city getting ever bigger...
Meanwhile...
A certain warlock sensed something wrong.
"(So, they took out the squadron I sent out and rescued their friend....wont matter anyway, because I'm closer to checkmate then they could ever be.)" Xutaga thought as he continued the ritual.
Pimp Spike's Swag the 6th Volume.
Ch.35.5: A Hero From the Future.
"What is this now? Huh Trahzo?!"
"Trahzo, what's going on now?" Spikerulez302 asked.
That's when, a teenage dragon stepped out.
"A...teenage dragon?" Questioned Danville Bengal.
"Hey, I'm not just some teenage dragon! I'm the 5th Spike! At least...I'm that guy's idea of G5 Spike!"
This Spike had black scales and wings, an orange belly and spines, amber colored eyes and tail, along with shining white teeth and claws.
"Spike? That damn midget of a dragon is intervening again?! Hell no!" Shouted Xutaga.
"Kuromitamas, leave them, and focus your efforts on killing this newcomer!" Xeenam commanded.
The Kuromitamas came right at G5 Spike, that's when he slashed one to bits with just one swipe of his claws!
"Whoa!"
"How did that happen?" Xeenam shouted in outrage.
"1st of all...spoilers for my upcoming story, but I literally beat 1000's, of monsters everyday with my friends! These things aren't so special!" He said before slashing another Kuromitama!
"Use your spells!" Xeenam commanded.
Then they began lasting lightning.
"Lightningrod Style." That's when 2 bull horns sprouted from Spike's head, absorbing the electricity and sending it back through his spaded tail! It struck 2 more, killing them!
The Kuromitama's then flew at G5 Spike.
"Tornado Style" G5 Spike spun so fast he created a tornado that sucked in 7 more, turning them into smoothies! "2 left huh? For surviving so long, I'll give yah this parting gift! Venom Style!" He grew giant fangs that he then pulled off stabbed the last 2 Kuromitamas, instantly killing them before reattatching the fangs. "Well, better bounce...oh-no wait, before I go, Med Style." G5 Spike put on a doctor coat then used a spell to heal our heroes. "Alright, bye!" Then G5 Spike flew back into the portal back to the future.
"Whoa Trahzo, where'd the idea for G5 Spike's cameo come from?" Asked Danville Bengal.
"I got it from watching Super Sentai and Kamen Rider movies where the hero(es) of the next season just stop by to help."
"That guy should've stuck around, because my spell is now complete and dad's army shall rise in about 30 minutes, plenty of time for the whole family to torture, then kill you!" Xutaga explained as he stood with his parents, siblings and future son.
"Hold your ground everyone, the real fight begins!"