Chapters Date: April 10, 2012
Life in the big city is great. Except for Klepto. He lived in a dumb apartment and was a flightless Pegasus thanks to the drugs he did. Across the street was a loft building with ponies living the dream. Klepto stole for a living, but there was one thing he liked more than stealing. Television, he loved it. However, ever since the T.V broadcast went digital he got nothing but snow on his dumb T.V.
"Piece of shit!! Fuckin work!! I want to watch my shows!!!!!"
Then Klepto realized something. He remembered the couple across the street were hooked with cable. Klepto decided they should share it. He grabbed a screwdriver and a ladder. He went up the stairs where the electrical box was. Now he was going to steal.
Klepto picked the right time to get it. The couple was watching a marathon of their favorite show. "My Little Humans." His plan was to split their coaxial line so everypony could be happy, but Klepto was not a qualified electrician. The T.V. screen in the couple's room went blue.
"What!?! Ah man. Honey, did you pay the cable?" The stallion asked.
"Yes, I did."
Klepto was about to get 1000 channels until a bird started to annoy him. He tried to hit the bird away, but was not paying attention to where his hooves were at.
*Zap!!!*
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Klepto got shocked so much he exploded into chunks.
"What in Celestia was that?" The stallion asked. He ran to the window opened it. "Oh my Celestia!!!!!" He saw a gruesome sight. Blood and guts of Klepto everywhere, and his head right near the window.
Klepto tried to steal a couple's cable, but in the end, he instead provided a show. Hey Kelpto, want to star on 1000 Ways To Die. Klepto...Klepto...Oh your already dead. Great.
Way To Die #3: Die-Rect T.V
Soundcheck (Created by mitchboy)
Date: August 4, 2013
The Grand Galloping Gala is today and everypony can't wait. It's going to be The Best Night Ever. One pony can't wait to perform, Soundcheck.
"This is going to be great. I can do this." Soundcheck said to himself in the mirror.
Before he knew it night came, he was scared, but he wasn't going to chicken out. This was his time. Well, he was right that it was his time. He plugged in his electric guitar and began to play, dance and sing. Soundcheck played and played and played. Everypony loved his music. However, he decided to take a break before he played his last song. He should have just played it and he would have reached the top. A few minutes later after his break, he was about to play his last song. Everything was going fine. The ponies were cheering for him. He was looking at the crowd not paying attention what was on the stage. Lost in his own fame. He was dancing until....
*Zap!!!*
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Soundcheck shouted in pain
Soundcheck was getting electrocuted by the wire connected to his electric guitar. A unicorn helped him out and pulled the cord with his magic. Soundcheck fell to the ground. It was too late. Soundcheck...was cooked. Still, how did this happen? It's pretty simple. There was wine at this Grand Galloping Gala, and one tipsy pony decided to leave his wine near the cord of Soundcheck's guitar during his break. Not to mention Soundcheck's cord had an exposed part. When Soundcheck was too busy dancing enjoying his fame, he knocked down the glass of wine making it fall on the exposed part of the cord. Making the electricity transporting to his guitar and shock him. The shock cooked him from the inside. Cooking his lungs, liver and finally. Stopping his heart.
Soundcheck wanted to make it to the top. He wanted to be all over the news...Well, he was all over the news alright. Breaking News, death at the Gala. It wasn't Soundcheck's Best Night Ever. It was his...Last Night Ever.
Way To Die #5: Shock and Roll!
Date: March 27, 1956
It was 1945 and the Neighzi's were losing World War 2. This war was drawing to a close. Organizer on the other hoof was in trouble . Right now he is burning all the files of what the Neighzi's did and what they were planning. That is until a soldier from Canterlot popped a cap in his head...That's it, right? No, Organizer was still alive. He just got up and even he was surprised he wasn't dead. Eleven years later he was alive and healthy.
He was a simple citizen now in Manehatten living in an apartment. After the war, he hooked up with an underground Neighzi relocation network called Odessa. In 1946, Odessa was created. They relocated many Neighzi's so they could escape the things they have done. Now you're probably thinking, what did Organizer do that could get him in trouble. Well, Organizer organized ponies who should die in the files and also left secret files of how to overthrow the leader Adolf Hoofer and take over the world himself. He was stupid enough to sign his name on the papers. The papers had evil ideas, and everypony was still searching for him. He escaped though and changed his name to Cold Heart. He was a mean, retired Neighzi.
“Out of my way plothole!!!" Organizer said pushing ponies out of the way to get to his apartment.
Once he made it home he was thirsty and tried to grab milk from his small fridge. He grabbed it and slammed his head on the top of the fridge. He held his head, blood came out of his ear and the retired Neighzi was..Dead.
When Organizer was shot the bullet punctured his skull and wounded up near a major artery in his brain. 11 years it stayed there waiting, and waiting. Once Organizer hit his head on the fridge at the right angle. The bullet cut through his major artery making him bleed out. He died in a matter of seconds.
Organizer fought in World War 2. He didn't know death could be so patient. As for the bullet in his head. It was just...(Say in a German Accent) Following Orders.
Way To Die #7: Master E-Raced
Date: March 15, 2015
Most ponies look at an abandoned building and think nothing of it. Still, some other ponies might look at it differently. Ponies that practice parkour love abandoned buildings. That is their personal playground. First, if you don't know what parkour is let me explain.
Parkour stated simply is a training discipline using movement that developed from military obstacle course training. Still, it's for regular ponies as well. It's moving your body efficiently and fluently over obstacles. It's a nice exercise it's also the most dangerous.
One day a Parkour gang that calls themselves The Runners which consisted of three earth pony stallions, their gang Leader Hoof Racer, who was also an earth pony stallion and one of their youngest group members, Scootaloo. Scootaloo was a flightless pegasus. Still, she was a good parkour master. Hoof Racer didn't like that. He wanted to be the best. One day, while the gang was running, Hoof Racer saw an abandoned hospital.
"Hey guys!!" Hoof Racer shouted.
"Ahem." Scootaloo said.
Hoof Racer sighs "And gals. Let's see who can get to the roof of this hospital first. You know, a little race." Hoof Racer said smiling.
They all agreed it was a good idea. All of them put their skills to the test. They all went their different ways. Scootaloo tried to get up by the pipes on the sides. One stallion tried using the broken steps. The two other stallions choose to use the window openings. Hoof Racer was following Scootaloo's way. The pipe she was holding was old and was rusty. Scootaloo was almost to the top. Hoof Racer didn't want to lose, so he cheated.
"Ahhhh!!!!" Scootaloo shouted. Then a miracle happened. She spread her wings and began to fly!!
"I'm flying!!!!! I'm actually flying!!!!!" Scootaloo shouted excited that she was flying.
Hoof Racer didn't care, he was still trying to get to the top.
Scootaloo flew up to the top of the roof. "I win!!" She said
"No, you cheated you can't fly up to the roof!!" Hoof Racer shouted in rage.
"I only cheated cause you cheated first!!" Scootaloo shouted back.
While they were arguing Hoof Racer was still holding on to the pipe. He began to climb up. Then one pipe connected to the others became lose. Hoof Racer lost his grip fell to the ground. He got hurt, but he was okay, until.
*Smack!!*
The pipe that came loose fell and stabbed his throat.
"AHHH!!!!!!! Hoof Racer!!!!!!!!" Scootaloo shouted.
When the pipe impaled Hoof Racer severing his trachea, it didn't kill him. The pipe went further and broke his spinal cord. He was dead in a matter of seconds. The spinal cord breaking did him in.
Hoof Racer wanted to be the best. He didn't want Scootaloo to win. Well, he learned that cheaters never win. He paid the price. Well, at least he's at a hospital...Oh sorry, it's abandoned. Sorry Hoof Racer, you're out of luck. The doctor is...Out.
Way To Die #8: Par-Gore
Date: July 5, 2007
Okay everypony, meet Milky Way. A simple pony who owns her own milk shop. In the morning she works in the shop. On weekends her shop is closed, but on weekend nights she works at a strip club. Every stallion loved her cause her teats were huge. Believe it or not, that was natural she didn't have anything done to her to get them. Milky Way, however, had one problem.
Her teats needed to be milked. She did it to herself most of the time. However, on weekends she would lead a stallion to the back room of the strip club and let them milk her. Her number one customer was Mason. A green pegasus that loved to milk her.
"Oh yes milk me like there's no tomorrow." Milky Way moaned as Mason sucked on her nipples while she was on top of him.
Slowly, she leans in, opening her mouth for a kiss. It’s a long kiss, a long sensual kiss. It takes a while before their tongues touch each other, and lap up one another. Milky Way dives right in, this time with much more force. Milky Way wants to get straight into the action. She slams herself on Mason's cock. Forcefully invading her hungry moist sex. They both gasp in shock upon entry. Mason cannot believe how tight she is.
“You like this, don’t you?” Milky Way says beginning to move.
"Ah yes. Fuck you're so tight." Mason said moaning in pleasure.
Mason's heavy breathing becomes moans of euphoria as Milky Way's grinding becomes faster and he thrusts just a little harder. Mason's wings spring out. They want to go on longer, butt they can’t. Mason can already feel the pressure building inside him. Her tight walls clamping down, refusing to let him go. Mason's moans become louder and so does hers.
“I-I’m…I’m gonna cum!” Mason shouts.
This makes Milky Way redouble her efforts, and she began to scream in pleasure. "YES!! OF FUCK YES!!"
The dam inside Mason spurts load after load of his hot cum inside of her. She can only breathe heavily and giggle as she feels Mason's seed flow into her. After what feels like a five-minute long orgasm its time for some more fun. Instantly Mason wraps his mouth around her left nipple causing her to moan with pleasure. Mason began to suckle. Sweet liquid shoots out into his mouth. He alternates between teats sucking out all the milk massaging her breasts at the same time.
“Yes…oh yes!” Milky Way screams, “Keep going!”
Mason has his last suck. Then Milky Way lets out a powerful orgasmic moan her walls pouring out a wave of her thick juices.
However, something bad is about to happen. Milky Way passes out from that sweet orgasm she just got. Mason is covered in her teats, and can't breathe. He can't push her off him. Milky Way is also on the same boat as she is knocked out and her teats are right in front of her muzzle. Mason struggles and struggles. After about five minutes. There...Dead.
One stallion wants to take a mare to the back room and gets impatient. "Hey you two done in ther-" He sees a gruesome sight. "Oh my Celestia!!! Somepony call 911!!!"
Milky Way loved to be milked, and Mason was there to help. However, Milky Way had too much of a fun time and passed out. Their sweet love making and orgasmic pleasure turned into...A suffocating nightmare.
Way To Die #9: Boobicide
Spoiled Rich (Created by PuzzleInsanity)
Date: December 25, 2016
It's the most wonderful time of the year and the Rich Manor was hosting a Hearthswarming party. Filthy Rich and his daughter Diamond Tiara were having a great time. However, Spoiled Rich hated the holidays. For her, it was just an excuse for her employees to have a day off. She also hated the music. When a choir began to sing for the party, Spoiled Rich went to the kitchen. She grabbed some tomatoes and began throwing them at the choir.
"Yeah, take that you ponies!!!" Then she saw a stallion dressed like Santa Hooves and began throwing the tomatoes at him. "Yeah, how do you like that Santa Hooves!!!"
"Mare, what's wrong with you?!?!" The stallion shouted.
Filthy Rich stopped his wife from throwing more tomatoes.
"Spoiled, we need to talk!" He shouted leading her to the balcony. Before they went there, Filthy Rich grabbed a wine bottle from the kitchen for Spoiled Rich. It would make her more relaxed.
Filthy Rich talked to her on the balcony but she didn't listen. All she did was drink all the wine from the bottle.
"Spoiled, are you listening to me?!!" Filthy Rich asked
"Of course *hic* not."
Then all of a sudden Spoiled got on top of the railing of the balcony thinking it was her bed. Filthy would have stopped her until he thought about something. Even when the holidays were over Spoiled would still be a brat and wouldn't care about anypony. Filthy just watched and then Spoiled fell.
"AHHHHHH!!!"
She fell went down a chimney into a boiler.
"AHHHHH!!!!! Somepony help me!!!!!!!"
Her screaming didn't do any good. Her screams were drowned out by music...She was...Burned to death.
Spoiled Rich hated the holidays, and didn't care about ponies feelings. She was a big brat. Her husband decided that he had enough. She burned to death...And I bet she's burning in hell. Happy Hearthswarming...Bitch.
Way To Die #10: Boiled Rich
Author's Note
Out of all these ten deaths which one has shocked you the most. Let me know in the comments below.
Date: July 17, 2004
Las Pegasus. You know what they say what happens there stays there. It's where you can gamble, drink, eat and of course, have sex. Now get your mind out of the gutter because we're not talking about that. Meet Chemical, A mare that graduated college at the age of 17. She was smart with chemicals, but instead of helping science she was making toxic drugs. She also loved the drugs she made and loved how it made her feel
She would usually stay up some nights and sell her drugs to ponies on vacation. However, when she didn't sleep she would start to hallucinate. She would stay up five to six days straight and that is just plain dangerous. One day, she saw the cops were looking for ponies trying to sell some things. She needed to hide her drugs to keep selling them. She came up with an idea. She ordered some Apples from Sweet Apple Acres and began injecting them with drugs. This was a brilliant plan right...Well let’s Just say she decided to taste an apple she just injected with drugs.
"Let's taste this thing out." Chemical said biting down on the Apple.
*Kaboom!!!*
The Apple piece she bit off exploded in her mouth, making her jaw explode off her hinges. What happened? Well since Chemical was so drowsy from not getting enough sleep she didn't know she was not injecting the apples with drugs. She accidentally was filling them with liquid red phosphorus, a liquid found on explosives. I guess I forgot to mention her hideout was a dump that use to be where a gun shop was. She accidentally mixed up her chemicals and was using the wrong one. When she bit down on the apple with the force of 100 pounds, she ignited the explosive phosphorus and made her jaw come right off her hinges. Her brain was hurt from the explosion damaging the cerebral cortex making her bleed out.
Chemical should have put her brains into some other things than drugs. Looks like she bit off...More than she could chew. Hey Chemical, I think you should see a dentist...Actually maybe a doctor...Oh never mind she's seeing The Undertaker.
Way To Die #11: Jaw Breaker
Date: December 12, 1849
Alright everypony, meet Hatter, now don't let that hourglass fool you. He isn't The Doctor so he won't regenerate. To bad, he would really need that. He was a hat maker in the late 1800's. There was one problem though with Hatter. He owned a hat shop which was good since in the late 1800's hats were in big demand. He had many customers, that's good too.
"Excuse me sir, I need my hat refitted can you do that?" The customer asked.
Hatter responded with a scream. "AHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Freaking the customer out making him leave. Hatter was, to put it bluntly, out of his freakin mind. That's the problem, he grabbed a pin and stabbed his hoof and laughed. He was mad as a hatter. Hatter was like many other hat makers during this time. Most of the hat makers went mad. Every time a customer would come in he would scream, slap them, talk to himself, look in the mirror screaming and even attack his own customers. What caused him to act this way? Well, we needed a little help so we brought Rarity to tell us since she makes some hats and dresses. She knows what's wrong with Hatter. So Rarity what was Hatter's problem.
"Hatter had Mad Hatter Disease or Mad Hatter Syndrome which was an occupational disease among hat makers. It was caused by Chronic Mercury Poisoning. It affected those whose felting work involved prolonged exposure to mercury vapors. The neurotoxic effects included tremor and the pathological shyness and irritability characteristic of erethism. He went completely mad. His years too exposure, it was bad for him."
Thanks Rarity, finally, thanks to the mercury Hatter's brain fried, his lungs were completely damaged, his kidneys dying slowly and he started having lung problems. He was all alone laughing, crying, and hallucinating.
"Oh yes Celestia i'd love to make you a hat for when you meet Chrysalis. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! What's that Discord you want a hat to!!! Yes is that it!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! *Cough!!!!!!*"
Hatter lost his mind, lost his customer's, and finally with one last cough...Lost his...Life.
*Plop*
He collapsed and was found dead two days later.
"Sir...Sir...Oh my..He's dead!!!!" A customer said running off.
Poor Hatter. His shop is closed...Forever
Way To Die #12: Hat's All Folks.
Author's Note
I'm taking a week break from this story since my birthday is next week and I would like to celebrate it. It's only for one week. After that I will be back with more Ways To Die. Also a reminder if you have any ideas. I'd love to hear them.
Author's Note
Back from my break and ready for more deaths. I thought I would be gone for a week but one of my family members gave me an early birthday present which was an IPad. Forgive me if I spell something's wrong because I'm getting used to the controls of using it. Now let's began the next death of 1000 Ways To Die.
P.S GSphere made the picture I came up with the death.
Erin Bronett
Date: August 26, 2016
"These are the best cupcakes to get anywhere. Pinkie, do you mind telling us the recipe?" Erin Bronett asked Pinkie while wearing a fake smile.
"Of course, it's very easy it's.."
Blah, blah, blah was all Bronett heard coming from Pinkie's mouth. She wasn't paying attention. Now believe us, she is a happy reporter but business was going slow and she hasn't had any good news for awhile. She was a bit cranky about it. The CMC's and Featherweight were helping her behind the camera.
"We are clear." Featherweight said while Pinkie was still listing out the stuff needed for her cupcake recipe.
"Alright I get it!!" Bronett shouted shutting Pinkie up. "This is stupid, can't we get better news these days!!!"
"I feel sorry for you Bronett." Sweetie Belle said.
"Yeah, I wish we could help." Scootaloo said.
"I can't do anything but control the camera." Featherweight said.
"Well, I know some news, tomorrow there is supposed to be a hurricane that's going to hit Ponyville. It's going to hit Sweet Apple Acres pretty hard. Applejack told me about it, she said it was weird since no Pegasi seemed to make it." Apple Bloom said.
"Oh yeah, Rainbow Dash told me about that a couple of days ago." Scootaloo said.
"Finally some interesting news. All of us will meet up at Sweet Apple Acres before the hurricane starts." Bronett said.
Tomorrow morning, The CMC, Bronett, and Featherweight were getting ready before the hurricane came. Featherweight covered the camera up so it wouldn't mess up. The CMC's gave everypony raincoats and they wore matching ones with the CMC's logo on it. This was going to be a live report. Once noon hit the hurricane was here and blowing winds at about 74 to 100 miles per hour.
"As you can see behind me the apple trees are dancing behind me and some may be uprooted later!!! This is a very strange hurricane because from what I heard is that this weather was not made by Pegasi!!! I can't stress enough for everypony to stay indoors!!! I can't-"
*Smack!!!*
Then all of a sudden a heavy branch from a tree impaled Bronett. She didn't see it coming.
"Ahhhh!!!" All the CMS's shouted.
Featherweight was shocked and just stared. The news channel cut the live feed as quick as they could and went to commercial. Bronett was dead.
The branch impaled Bronett with the speed of 100 miles per hour. It tore the major vessels off the heart and stabbed her heart as well. She was instantly dead. Bronett won't be coming to work now. She's feeling a bit...Under the weather.
Way To Die #12: This Just In...My Chest
Pinkie Pie And Sapphire Shores
Date: May 23, 2015
Okay, everypony knows Pinkie Pie. She is the best party pony ever. She can throw you a party and she never runs out of energy. The place she works at is Sugar Cube Corner. A party was about to happen for a pony named Sweet Tooth. A little filly, Pinkie knew she loved chocolate, so she decided to make her a chocolate cake. However, she wanted to make a very big chocolate cake. She went into the closet full of ingredients, closed the door behind her, and went to grab some bags full of cocoa powder hanging on a shelf.
"Hahaha!! *cough* *cough!!* *COUGH!!*"
Her laugh turned into coughs. Painful coughs. Pinkie's lungs had somethings called alveoli, tiny air sacs, and they were filling up with the fine powder, making breathing impossible. She finally realized something was wrong. She banged on the door hoping somepony would hear her. No such luck. She banged on the door until she suffocated to death.
*Plop*
and fell to the ground...Dead. Pinkie Pie wanted to make a big chocolate cake. Well, that cake that Pinkie Pie made was...To die for.
Way To Die #14: Choke-A-Lot
Date: May 23, 2015
Wait, weren't we already here. Well, Pinkie Pie wasn't the only death that day. Sapphire Shores was going to perform for the little filly Sweet Tooth. It was a surprise from her parents. When the party started, Mrs. Cake looked around for Pinkie Pie wondering where she was and if the cake was ready. If only she knew Pinkie Pie was in the closet full of ingredients dead. Mrs. Cake was worried. The ponies that were at the party were wondering about the cake as well. Mrs. Cake whispered something into Sapphire Shores ear.
"I don't know where Pinkie is. Entertain them while I make a cake very quickly."
Sapphire Shores did what she was told. She went on top of the small stage The Cakes set up and grabbed everyponies attention. "Alright, everypony while were waiting for the cake let me sing my song Serves Her Right."
Everypony cheered when she said that. She sang the song with her background dancers behind her. Once that song was done Mrs. Cake came out with a chocolate cake. Not that big, but enough for everypony there to get a slice. Sapphire Shores took a break. She decided to have a drink of her wine. Even though her dancers told her it was a bad idea. One cup wouldn't hurt. However, one turned into five. She was a bit tipsy but she still had one song left. She went on top of the stage and began to sing another one of her hit songs. The dancers were worried.
The ponies cheered. Sapphire Shores had a few too many to drink. She danced fine and sang perfectly, but in her tipsy mind, the group of ponies was a huge crowd. She smiled and jumped off the stage so the ponies would grab her. Instead, the ponies got out of the way and...
*Crack*
She fell and cracked her neck. Sapphire laid there paralyzed, her lungs stopped breathing, her heart stopped beating, and his brain just...Stopped. Everypony screamed.
"AHHHH!!! Somepony call a doctor!!!" Sweet Tooth's Mom Shouted.
"Call Two!!!" Mrs. Cake shouted finally opening the closet full of ingredients finding Pinkie Pie dead on the ground.
Sapphire Shores had a bit too many. She jumped hoping that a crowd would catch her. Instead...Gravity did its work. Well, death sure got busy at this party.
Way To Die #15: Up...Up And...Down
Date: February 14, 2014
Okay, everypony we got a treat for you. Meet Kyla, a changeling that loves lust and sex. Now, this was before changelings were reformed so she's going to Ponyville for a treat. Everypony was enjoying Hearts and Hooves Day by kissing, buying their loved ones gifts, and some getting lucky on the bed. Kyla could feel all the love then she saw a stallion. She looked into the Stallion's mind and saw he had love for a green pegasus.
Kyla turned into the green pegasus that he loved and went up to him.
"Hello." Kyla said in a seductive tone.
"Glider is that you. Do you remember me I'm Pot Fixer."
"Oh well of course I do. Hey, I wanted to say something to you but since its Hearts and Hooves day let me just do it instead of saying it." Kyla gave Pot Fixer a very deep kiss.
Pot Fixer was shocked but in the end, he just went with it. Now how does love taste like? Well, let's ask Thorax himself.
"Love really doesn't have a specific taste but it fills you up and changelings usually never feel full. We are always hungry. Now before we were reformed we learned how to steal love and how to get it. The three best ways to get love is through hugs, kisses, and of course...Sexual Intercourse. When you kiss your meal you can simply make them see things that aren't there so usually changelings would go for the kiss."
Kyla decided she had enough of kissing and broke the kiss. "How about we do something that shows we really love each other. Somewhere very private." Kyla said making Pot Fixer blush.She led him to the Everfree Forest well in his mind it was a hotel. They go inside and in his mind, it's a bed. Now, this is where the love begins.
Pot Fixer didn't waste any time and started to lick Kyla’s pussy. Kyla moaned with surprise. She pulled his muzzle deeper into her cunt with her legs, trying to get him to lick deeper into her. He pushed his tongue deeper into Kyla, rubbing her clit as he licked. Kyla gave a loud moan and came hard, her juices coating Pot Fixer's face, and loosening her legs. Pulling back, Pot Fixer licked his muzzle clean.
Kyla quickly knocked him over and forced him onto his back before lowering herself onto his cock. She went up and down on Pot Fixer until.
"What's wrong?" Pot Fixer asked
"I can't see!!" Kyla shouted.
Guys and Girls remember when your mom said that to much sex would make you go blind...She wasn't lying. Kyla was suffering a case called Vasoconstriction. Something that happens rarely. Makes you lose your vision when having sex for a while. She loses her vision completely and begins to freak out.
"Go get help!!" Kyla shouts.
"Okay!!" Pot Fixer shouts and runs into a tree knocking himself out. In his mind, it was a door to the hotel room.
Kyla tries to find her way out of the forest. She walks and walks and then walks straight into five Timerwolves
"RAWR!!!!!!"
"AHHHH!!!!" Kyla shouted knowing that noise.
The Timberwolves pounded her, bit her stomach. Ate her intestines. Scratched her face, broke her bones, and she was losing liters of blood. Now she nothing but a meal for the Timerwolves.
Kyla loved sex and would do anything to get it. However, she just did it for a meal...Well, now she's a meal...Bye Bye Kyla.
Way To Die #16: Trip To The Maul
Date: March 28, 2014
Well were back in the human world. We're in Canterlot High. Interesting. Let's see...Oh, I know how this one goes. For must of us, art doesn't go as much beyond what you find in a centerfold, but what if that centerfold came to life. That's kind of what happened to this fruitcake here. Meet Scott Green, he was making a sculpture.
"Yeah, my beautiful sculpture you are amazing." He said to the sculpture he just made.
Scott Green was an art student at Canterlot High who would always stay after school to sculpt. He even drew pictures. They all had one thing in common. They represented a girl or women who went or worked at Canterlot High. All of a sudden Principal Luna came into the class.
"Scott it's getting late you should head home." Luna said
"Just five more minutes Principal Luna." Scott said
Luna shrugged and walked away. Scott was staring at her ass when she was walking away. Funny enough the sculpture that Scott was working on looked like Principal Luna. Scott had a problem called Agalmatophilia. It's people who are attracted to statues, dolls, or mannequins. He wasn't the only one. In fact, in 1877 there was a gardener who attempted to have sex with a statue of Venus De Milo.
Scott was so obsessed that he chipped out a vagina in his Principal Luna Sculpture. He put it on a table, and now it was time to have a good time with his sculpture. He took off his clothes and got it on with his sculpture.
"Ahhh!!! Yeah!!! Principal Luna yeah!!!" Scott hit Luna's Marble G-spot and rode her until exhaustion. Scott fell asleep while his penis was still in his masterpiece. When he woke up Scott found out that his Principal Luna wasn't done with him. He was suffering from a conditioned called Priapism, a condition in which a penis remains erect for hours in the absence of stimulation or after stimulation has ended. Now his penis was stuck in his Principal Luna Sculpture, This has never happened to Scott when he had fun with his other sculpture's or masturbated to his drawings.
He tried to pull out. "Owwww!!" He was stuck in his own masterpiece. After five minutes of trying he screamed for help. "Help!! Anybody!!"
Too bad the only person here at this time was a janitor named Discord and he was listening to music with headphones and the volume was all the way up. He couldn't hear Scott's scream's for help. Finally after an hour of struggling he popped out of his Principal Luna and fell off the table.
"Finally!" Scott said happily
Free at last, until the sculpture fell off the table...
"AHHHH!!!!"
*Crunch*
And landed right in Scott...Ouch. The sculpture landed right on top of him crushing his body. His skull cracked, his ribs as well, his legs broke, and he bleed to death...Crushed by his own masterpiece.
There is a lesson to be learned from Scott. Don't fuck a sculpture. Get out more. Find yourself, someone...Or you'll wind up like Scott.
Discord finally entered the classroom. "Oh my!!! Sir!!! Sir are you okay!!! Sir!!!"
Scott became one with his own art.
Way To Die #17: Penis De Milo
Author's Note
Coming up more death's from EQ.
Date: January 21, 2014
Now you all know Rarity right. She makes dresses, has a cute sister and a cat named Opal. Rarity loved Opal, even though she was sometimes a mean cat. Her scratch would put you in agonizing pain. Still, she loves Opal with all her heart. However, there was one problem. Rarity had to go out of town for a few days. She needed a pet sitter. She would have asked Fluttershy, but she was heading out of town too. She instead called help on a new pet sitter Micky. Micky was a new student at Canterlot High. He just switched schools here.
"Micky, can you please take care of Opal? She's very hard to pet sit, but I'll pay you double." Rarity begged
"No worries Rarity I'll do it for free."
"Oh thank you, Micky, you're so generous.”
However, Micky wasn't going to be back when Rarity came back. Micky was a thief. That's why he switched schools. He got busted in his last school for stealing. Micky was going to steal all the goods he could get his hoofs- pardon me. Hands on. The first night Micky got to work. However, Opal was watching him, and she hadn't been fed. She scratched Micky on the leg.
"Owww!!! You little brat." Micky kicked Opal knocking her out.
Micky thought this was going to be an easy robbery. However, someone was coming to Rarity's Boutique this late at night. Her sister Sweetie Belle. She thought she lost her phone, but then remembered she left it at Rarity's the day she helped...or tried to help Rarity with her dresses. She opened the door. Micky heard it, he thought he was busted, but then he saw a huge fabric. He tied it to the window and started going down with the stuff he stole in a bag.
Then all of a sudden. Opal woke up, she was not happy, Not one bit. Opal saw what Micky was doing. She jumped to the window and looked at the fabric tied to the window.
Micky saw Opal. "No!! Don't!!"
*Swipe*
Opal cut the fabric, and Micky fell to the ground.
"Ahhhhh!!!!!
*Crack*
Micky landed on the ground and hit the back of his head on the hard concrete causing massive hemorrhage to his brain causing all body functions to shut down...Opal cut his life in half.
Sweetie Belle found her phone downstairs, but she heard the scream. She went upstairs and saw the mess. Then she saw Opal on the window. She looked out and saw Micky dead on the street with a huge bag. Once she put the pieces all together she dialed 911 and petted Opal.
"Good girl."
Opal purred.
"Hello, cops I got some trash for you to pick up."
No one cares about your death, Micky...You rotten bastard.
Way To Die #18: Cat Got Your Life
Date: May 5, 2015
Okay everybody meet Sonata. Don't worry she ain't going to die. She is a Siren and is in the human world. She transferred to Crystal Prep because of what happened after the Battle of The Bands. All of her sisters were transferred as well. Anyways Sonata wasn't the brightest bulb. She was in the science lab waiting for her sister Adagio. Adagio changed her ways and was no longer trying to take over the world but they needed money and they needed it quick. Now when you have chemicals and you want money that equals...Drugs.
Adagio came into the science lab. "Alright Sonata did you break anything while I was gone?"
"Come on Adagio have some faith in me." Sonata said.
"Last time I left you for a bathroom break you dropped a bottle full of that gas full of drugs and you were taking off your clothes moaning because you thought you were having sex with someone but you were just pleasuring yourself."
Sonata blushed. They made many drugs, and the school wasn't aware of it. However this day something bad was about to happen. The two sisters were working on a drug that was very hard to make. One mistake and dropping the liquid that could make it would cost a fortune. Sonata was pouring the chemicals while Adagio was holding the beaker Sonata was pouring the liquid in. However, Sonata got a feeling in her stomach. The taco that she ate a couple of minutes ago came back to haunt her.
Sonata let out a burp, and accidentally dropped the beaker full of chemicals she was pouring. The liquid fell to the ground, and Adagio was not happy one bit.
"Sonata you idiot!! You are fuckin worthless!!"
Sonata was scared. Adagio was about to go completely insane so she left the lab. Adagio was completely mad and began breaking every single beaker full of chemicals. Hallucinating on the drugs. It cost million's of dollars. She didn't care anymore she was full on super sayin. Until one Chemical was not a good one to break.
*Crack!!!*
Adagio just broke a beaker full of sodium oxide near sink full of water, and other chemicals. The sodium oxide transformed into hydrogen acid gas. Then all of sudden Adagio's face felt like it was burning.
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!"
The hydrogen acid was burning the skin off Adagio's face. Not to mention she was breathing it in. That was damaging her lungs. Alright we have another guest with us. It's the human Twilight. Tell us Twilight what happened to Adagio
"When you are exposed to hydrogen acid with no protection on you the first thing that's going to burn is your skin. Your skin is going to completely come off, and breathing it in is killing your lungs. The skin is going to come off, next is your muscles, and it will burn that to, and all that's going to be left is your bones. Your going to die. No doubt about it hydrogen acid is a very deadly chemical that many scientist are careful with."
Adagio layed on the ground her skull was now completely exposed, and her lungs were dead. Her rage killed her. She should have just waited for her other sister Aria.
*Knock! Knock!*
"Adagio have you calmed down yet?" Sonata said on the other side of the door. "Adagio...Adagio."
Adagio was a short fuse. That fuse exploded, and she died...Ka-Boom Adagio.
Way To Die #19: Chemi-Killed
Author's Note
Coming up we go back to Equestria, and meet a pony that loves humans, and tries to meet them. Emphasis on tries. Also her human counterpart does something as well. They're both stupid.
Date: March 25, 2016
Alright everypony, if your from Ponyville then you know Lyra. Always thinks humans are real. Well i'm here to say she's right. Today she was at The Crystal Empire to do one thing. Sneak in the Castle and find a mirror with the rumors that many ponies have heard can lead to the human world. The rumors were true. Bon Bon her closest friend, (If you know what I mean) was with her with a camera since Lyra wanted to get video proof that humans existed. This was going to be great...Right?
Lots of ponies think humans are real. Lyra is just at the very top. She loved a show called My Little Humans and watched it every time she got the chance. It was a very popular show. However, she wanted to get closer then seeing them through a T.V screen. The mirror would help with that.
"Alright first thing we have to do is sneak past the guards." Lyra said straight to the camera.
"How exactly do you plan on doing that?" Bon Bon said filming the whole thing.
"Simple, use our bodies." Lyra said.
Lyra went up to the guards, and began seducing them. Using her body. Swishing her tail in front of their faces, shaking her plot making one of the guards get hard erections. With a little bit of more teasing the guards let her and her friend Bon Bon inside the castle. They still had to watch their backs since the other ponies in the castle didn't know they got in.
Next they had to find the mirror which wasn't an easy task since the castle was huge. Lyra, and Bon Bon searched for an hour. Then Lyra opened a door to a foals room. It was Flurry Heart's room. She was sleeping. Shining Armour and Cadence were in there and told them to be quiet. Sadly, Lyra was furious this was another wrong room.
"Man where is that mirror!?!?!" Lyra covered her mouth when she realized she made a big mistake.
Flurry Heart woke up and..."WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Flurry Heart let out a cry and the guards came to see what was going on.
Bon Bon ran for the exit, but Lyra kept going through rooms trying to find that damn mirror. Finally she found it.
"There you are!!!" Lyra shouted.
"Halt!!!" Two guards shouted guarding the mirror. Also a bunch of guards were trying to catch her from behind.
Lyra wasn't going to be stopped. She ran to the mirror. The guards tried to stop her. but she smacked them out of her way. She ran as fast as she could to the mirror, and then...
*Crack*
Her skull cracked, and she fell to the ground dead.
"Oh my miss are you alright!!" A guard shouted.
Did the mirror work. Yes it did. However, their was a human trying to go through the Canterlot High school Statue the same time to go see ponies. Lyra's human counterparts believed in ponies. She ran to the statue at the same time and...
*Stab*
Got stabbed in the center of her heart thanks to Lyra's horn. She also fell to the ground...Dead. They both collided. The Human Lyra got her heart stabbed making blood unable to flow. Also her ribs broke thanks to the Unicorn Lyra colliding into her cracking her skull. Making her bleed out, they both died. Both Lyra's wanted to see the otherside. Well now they're seeing another side...The afterlife. I'm achin' i'm shakin' i'm breakin'...Like humans do.
Way To Die #20: Take It On The Otherside
Author's Note
Thanks for Vector-Brony for making this amazing art.
Coming up a Prince gets it on with a female clone of himself. Then another pervert learns not to mess with Rainbow Dash.
Date: May 6, 2015
Okay everypony if you don't know Blue Blood lucky you. You don't want to know this fucker. He is a terrible prissy prince. He always wants everything to go his way. However, he got what he deserved in one Grand Galloping Gala thanks to Rarity. Anyway Blue Blood had a Earth Pony Scientists in Canterlot Castle making him something that he wanted.
"Is it ready yet?" Blue Blood asked.
"Prince Blue Blood it takes time to do-" The Scientist was cut off by Blue Blood grabbing him in the neck.
"Do it faster our you're fired!!!" Blue Blood shouted.
The scientist who's name was Atom was making something for Blue Blood. He was making him a Mare. Atom always wanted to create life, and now this was his chance. It was a rainy day, and he needed just enough electricity to make Blue Blood's Mare a reality. Atom was like the real Dr. Frankenpony. Atom was kicked out of college before he got his degree because he was caught using dead animals, and trying to bring them back to life. The Mare was on a table covered by a white cloth. She had Blue Blood's DNA. The lightning crackled outside. Atom set up the machine, and a rod to grab the electricity outside. Then one lightning hit the rod.
*BZZZZ!!!!*
Then all of a sudden the cloth covering the Mare began to move.
It's alive! It's alive!! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!" Atom shouted.
The only question is how did she look. She looked like a Mare version of Blue Blood. That's exactly what Blue Blood wanted. Mother of Celestia Atom. What the fuck have you created. Blue Blood took his lover to a private area of the castle and before they knew it they were having fun on the bed.
The female Blue Blood nuzzled Blue Blood's flanks and nibbled gingerly at his cutie mark. She decided to feel out exactly what he had between his legs. She reached back and found his shaft. It was already partially erect. She squeezed it tenderly and located his balls. They were a hoof full, but she kneaded them gently. Having grabbed his dick somewhere in the middle, she decided to gauge its size. Starting at the base, she slowly slid her hoof up the thick shaft which was now rock hard. She kept expecting to come to the tip. It kept on not ending.
The female Blue Blood was on her back on a bed, and she spread her legs apart somewhat, and looked back at her young stallion. Finally, to remove all doubt as to her intentions, she dramatically lifted her tail. She even used a magic flourish and hold it up, out of the way. Blue Blood approached, his gaze glued to her haunches.
“Start with your muzzle." The Female Blue Blood said.
She felt Blue Blood start to lick her inner thighs. When it found her marehood, an audible gasp escaped her lips. He certainly knew how to make a girl pony feel good. His skillful tongue probed her deeply and diddled her clit. In a show of appreciation. The Female Blue Blood would occasionally give the side of his face a playful thwack of her tail.
After a few minutes, Blue Blood paused. “I better mount you soon. If you whip me with your tail a few more times, I’m going to blow my load all over the floor,” he beamed. “I sort of have a thing for tails.”
The Female Blue Blood showed she was ready. Blue Blood went inside her and slid in and out a few times, and she moaned with pleasure. This was so much better than clopping!
“Oh yes!! You’re so big. I feel like I’m going to burst."
Finally after a few more thrust's. The Female Blue blood came, and so did Blue Blood. However there was a problem with the clone. Her marehood was still contracted to Blue Blood's stallion hood. Before they knew it another orgasm was coming. Whenever an orgasm happens your heart rate increases. After four they tried to stop, but before they knew it after the fifth they both collapsed...Dead.
Blue Blood shouldn't have rushed Atom. Atom if he had more time would have fixed that sex problem.
What have we learned here. It's okay to love yourself. Just don't love yourself to much...Who cares Blue Blood was a dick...Hope he ain't resting in peace.
Way To Die #21: Me, Myself, And Die
Date: July 20, 2016
"Don't buck the trees!!! Don't buck the trees!!! Don't buck the trees!!!"
You hear that? That is a pony protecting trees at Sweet Apple Acres. The pony holding a sign and tied herself to a six foot tree is Tree Hugger. Tree Hugger loved nature. She was one with it. She cares for nature. Now hear she is in Sweet Apple Acres telling the Apple Family to back off from the trees. Applejack has had enough of it.
"For the last time Tree Hugger we don't harm the trees! We may buck them but they're still fine and healthy!"
However Tree Hugger didn't want to hear it. She just stayed there while the Apple Family bucked trees, and she chanted. "Don't buck the trees!!! Don't buck the trees!!! Don't buck the trees!!!"
Tree Hugger also liked to do one other thing. After preaching and the Apple Family went to sleep. She went to her home and got high with her very own special plant. She grabbed some of the leafs from her plant and got some paper and lighted it up. In her hallucinations she'd see animals reproducing, Trees talking to her and a sexy Stallion that loved nature just like her.
One day Tree Hugger decided to get high before she went to Sweet Apple Acres. Now she was hallucinating while heading to Sweet Apple Acres. The trees talked to her saying they loved what she was doing. Tree Hugger had her sign and started her chant. Applejack was pissed off. She had enough. Then she realized Tree Hugger's eyes were messed up. She knew Tree Hugger was high. She took Tree Hugger to the barn, and lied her on the hay.
Tree Hugger then started to hallucinate her Stallion she saw in her hallucination's. In real life she grabbed an apple and started rubbing her vagina with it. "Ahhhh!! Yes!!! Fuck me!!! Fuck me harder!!!"
Applejack heard the commotion and came in seeing Tree Hugger rolling in the hay playing with an apple. Applejack tried to get her out of the hay. She got her out of the hay. Applejack was mad, but Tree Hugger wasn't done. Still high she went to the tree, and tied herself to it again. The tree though was getting weak. Holding her everyday. The six foot tree had enough and then.
*Crack!!!!*
"AHHHHHHH!!!!"
*Crash!!!!*
The tree feel crushing Tree Hugger. She broke her ribs, the bones went into her lungs, and she...died.
The whole Apple Family came out to see what was going on. Big Mac covered Apple Bloom's eyes. Granny Smith, and Applejack went up to Tree Hugger.
"Sugar Cube you okay!!" Applejack shouted.
However, no response. Poor Tree Hugger. She was annoying. Death had enough. Death decided it was time. However, death decided Tree Hugger should die like she wanted to. She wanted to become one with nature right. She did. There you go Tree Hugger...aren't you happy??
Way To Die #23: E-I-E-I-OWW!
Date: November 27, 1938
Welcome to Demented Prison. If you stroll down cell block D in this prison in the 1930's. you would pass the temporary home of Rip Off. He looks like a wimp, but he ain't a wimp, he just acted that way. He also had a bisexual cell mate, and a mare and stallion that treated him like a punching bag. He needed to get out and get his own cell. He cried like a wimp everyday. Once the guard's decided he needed his own cell he no longer acted like a wimp. He was a cheater that never got a truthful bit in his life. A few days later he got moved to another cell next to a pony that sells what he wants for a pack of cigarettes.
"Louie." Rip Off whispered to the cell near him.
"Yeah." Louie whispered back.
"Did you get the stuff." Rip Off whispered showing Louie a pack of cigarettes.
Louie grabbed the cigarettes through the bars of his cell and handed Rip Off a deck of cards.
"You didn't get em from me." Louie whispered.
Rip off grabbed the deck of cards through his bars and smiled. Rip Off knew his way with a stack of cards. However, he wasn't thinking about cheating in poker like he usually did to get a few bits. He knew that playing cards were coated with nitrocellulose a reactive plastic that when mixed with water produces the highly volatile nitrite acid. In other words he can turn a simple deck of cards into a bomb.
He ripped the cards into little pieces, took a hollow bed leg from his own bed, stuffed it full of the card pieces, and filled it with water from his own sink. He was looking around making sure no officer saw what he was doing. He covered the bed leg with pieces of his own hair, shook it a bit and put it on a space heater he had next to the wall. it was close to winter, so every inmate had a heater in their cell. As soon as the water and card mixture heated up the chemical reaction would blow open a hole to freedom.
Rip Off got ready for the explosion. He flipped over his bed and mattress. Hid behind it and covered his ears. Waiting for the explosion. He Waited..Waited and.. Waited.. and..What the fuck. Nothing happened. Rip off no longer waited and went to go check what was wrong. Did Rip off forget something. Rip Off decided to check his device. He picked it up and that's when his escape plan.
*BOOM!!!*
...Blew up in his face.
"Woah! What was that!!" Louie shouted from his cell.
"What the fuck!!" Another inmate shouted.
Everypony was in a panic. Prisoner's were screaming and shouting. Officers came and shut them up. They checked Rip Off's cell, and saw that pieces of card's were stabbed all over his face, and chest. Also metal from his bed leg were also stabbed all over his face and chest. He was...Dead.
"We need a body bag." An officer said.
When Rip Off picked up his home made bomb he gave it the final shake it needed to properly mix and detonate. In this situation the shrapnel from the metal of the pipe bomb when it exploded it got in bedded into Rip Off's skull and his brain. Also the shrapnel from the playing cards did a lot of tissue damage in bedding pieces within the chest and the head. It was like multiple gun shot wounds. Rip Off was done for. He killed himself with his own bomb.
If Rip Off's plan had worked, it would have been an escape for the books. Instead it's just another way to die in our list. Sorry Rip Off. Escape just...Wasn't in your cards.
Way To Die #24: Poker Face
Author's Note
Coming up we go back to the human world, and things get a bit saucy with two high school girls, And then one Human explodes when a women beats him in a video game, and he can't take it.
Author's Note
Luuandherdraws made the picture. I made the death
Fizzy Pop and Lilac Sky
Date: October 19, 2015
Hey, you going to the game tonight? What do you mean your going but not for the game. Oh I see, the cheerleaders, well we're back in the human world and we got two beautiful high school cheerleaders. Meet Fizzy Pop and Lilac Sky, these two were best friends and just like Lyra and Bon Bon they loved each other. They would have fun with each other. One problem they would get it on anywhere. In the locker room, in an alleyway, in a bathroom, you name it.
"AHHH!!! YES!!! FUCK ME LILAC!!!" Fizzy shouted as she was about to come in Lilac’s mouth as her tongue was licking her clit. Fizzy was standing on a sink, while Lilac was on her knees licking. Hopefully no one came into the bathrooms.
Now one night during a football game. Fizzy and Lilac decided to have a quick session before the game. They couldn't use the bathroom to many people were using them even though they didn't care when some people saw them. It was just to many people. They found a curtain and went behind it. Fizzy would pleasure Lilac first then Lilac would return the pleasure she got. Lilac got on the metal pole that had a hole in the front while Fizzy would be on the ground.
Fizzy took of her cheerleader clothes, and Lilac to. Fizzy bend down to show of her darkish blueish ass. "Hot" Lilac squeaked as she placed her fingers inside her tight, wet slit. She fingered herself and needed some help. "Can you help me out her Fizzy" she asked, lifting up her hefty tits and squeezing those large orbs.
Fizzy nodded and she grabbed those large tits with her hands, slowly letting the soft flesh spill in between her fingers. Lilac moaned as Fizzy felt up her incredibly sensitive breasts staring at them in awe as she revelled in the feeling of her pillow-like boobs. After a while of squeezing and feeling those massive titties Lilac directed their hands towards her erect nipples. Fizzy wordlessly understood and began to work her nipples like she always did. She began pulling the soft pink nub making Lilac give out lust-filled moans as her legs wriggled from the pleasure. gasped loudly as Fizzy watched a few droplets of milk leak from Lilac's nipples while she exclaimed and shuddered in pleasure. Fizzy sucked on her nipples while Lilac continued to moan as Fizzy kept working on her sensitive nipples. Fizzy moaned loudly as they tasted Lilac's milk, a surprisingly rich and creamy to taste and had a soft texture that ran down Fizzy's throats smoothly. She slowly sucked on Lilac's nipples coaxing more and more of the cream from her breasts while her moans became higher in pitch and volume.
"OH YES OH FUCK YEAH!!!!..." Lilac shouted running her nimble fingers all over Fizzy's body grabbing a handful of her plentiful ass.
Fizzy continued to work Lilac's orbs and drink her milk while her hands idly touched every supple and soft curve of Fizzy's body. Fizzy began slowly running her hands up and down her thick, soft thighs, taking in the feeling of her silk-soft flesh and occasionally grabbing a handful of her plentiful ass as well. They were both in heaven. Fizzy began to pleasure herself, and finally after a couple of minutes they had their orgasms. The electric pleasure traveled through their bodies making them shudder. Then.
*BOOM!!!*
The pole Lilac was sitting on exploded killing them both...What happened? Well those two horny chicks decided to pleasure each other in a room that had a canon for the Shadowbolts for the football game. The canon was being tested and exploded thanks to Lilac sitting on it. When the canon fired and exploded their bodies blew into chunks. They were...dead.
The Cheerleaders were waiting for them, but decided they weren't coming.
"Always got to have sex those two." A cheerleader said.
Well I got a new cheer you cheerleaders should try for Lilac and Fizzy. Give me a D. Give me an E Give me an A and D .Whats that spell... DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!
Way To Die #25: Blowgasm
Date: June 10, 2015
It’s summer finally, the days to go out and play. You can go swimming, hiking, hang out with your friends at the mall, go to a theme park, not worry about test or quizzes. One other option is stay inside, close the blinds, turn on your console, and play all day long. That is exactly what Joystick did. He was a Canterlot High student that was finally happy that school was over. He was an indoor person. He never left his house if possible. Didn’t have much friends except for online ones who he didn’t know in real life. He would play online every single day. He was addicted to games like crack. School got in his way, but not anymore.
One day he heard his favorite game was having an online tournament. He got ready by buying snacks to keep him fed while he played all day long. He put his headsets on and began to join any game he could.
“Attention noobs, and noobets you’re all going down!!” Joystick shouted in his headset.
Now anyone or anypony want to explain how online tournament works. Well we got a pony named Button Mash who’s a pretty hard core gamer, so lets see what this Colt knows about gaming.
“Online tournaments go like this you pick your game and you pick your category of a game say deathmatch or capture the flag. Then you can compete by yourself or with a team. An average pony or human would play about 5 to 6 hours a day. A gamer which is what I am play about 14 to 16 hours a day we also play hand held games so we can move around, or play outside to get some fresh air. Sometimes we even stay up all night playing...Which I may have done sometimes myself. However, a No Lifer as we call them play 30 hours our more. I’m glad i’m not one of those.”
Thanks Button Mash. Anyways Joystick was a No Lifer and played as much as he could. You’re probably thinking wouldn’t his parents stop him. He moved out a year ago and lived on his own. No one could stop him.
“Take that sucker your just got pwned!!” Joystick shouted in the mic when he killed a gamer’s avatar.
At night some gamer’s feel asleep and some began to play. However Joystick stayed up all night and day making him tired, but he had something to fix that. Red bull. I have no idea what that is but apparently it gives humans a kick to stay up. Joystick would stay up for hours. Now some gamer’s would stop playing to go out for some fresh air, or enjoy a bit of their summer outside. Joystick stayed inside.
He was trying to catch up to a gamer that had a high score of 3,567,845,345 points. This legendary gamer had the gamer tag name Nightmare Moon cause she always played at night, and she was number one on the leader boards. Joystick wouldn’t stop until he caught up. Joystick didn’t want to miss one second of this tournament action.
*Knock Knock*
A knock came from the door. “Pizza delivery!!” A pizza delivery man shouted.
“It’s open!!” Joystick shouted.
The pizza man came in, and Joystick told him to leave the pizza near him, and put the pizza on his tab. He ate and kept playing. He had junk food all over his floor. Every time he needed to go number one he would use the empty bottles he drank from to go, and sat on a specially designed bucket seat to take care of the one that came out the other end.
The tournament was almost ending, but Joystick finally caught up to Nightmare Moon who hadn’t been playing for a couple of days. Joystick had been playing since the tournament began which began on June 6th and now it was June 10th. Meaning Joystick’s been playing for four days straight. Finally he caught up to Nightmare Moon then all of a sudden she came online. When Joystick saw that he decided to beat the gamer to become number one. He invited her for a talk.
“I challenge you Nightmare Moon to a death match. First one to twenty gets first place on the leader boards!!” Joystick shouted in his head set.
“Your on I will beat you easily, and still be number one.” Nightmare Moon said.
Joystick thought that Nightmare Moon’s voice sounded familiar that’s because he was playing against one of his principals from his school. Principal Luna who played video games at night. She was out with her sister on a vacation trip, but is back and ready to fight any gamer trying to take her spot. The death match started.
However, Joystick’s bad diet and terrible hygiene gave him body sores all over his body. He didn’t care. He was winning by two points, and just needed one more kill. However, Luna kept her cool, caught up, killed Joystick one more time and won the death match.
“Take that sucker you just got pwned!!!” Luna shouted in her headset as she danced for her victory.
“What!! NO!!! NO!!!!!!” Joystick shouted in his headset. Joystick finally got up, and was about to shout a lot of hateful comments to Luna until.
“Agh!!”
*Plop!! Crash!!*
He fell to the ground while trying to grab his T.V to help him, but instead it fell with him. Joystick fell down and stayed down like someone pulled the plug on his avatar.
Joystick played for so long, ate badly, had poor hygiene and sat down for a long time that he started to get massive clots in his legs. When he stood up after four days of playing they broke free and went up to his heart and to his lungs. Within a matter of a few seconds there was enough blood that was coagulated in his lungs that he couldn’t breath, and then his heart probably stopped a few minutes after that which caused him to die.
Joystick ruined his health and lived in a virtual fantasy world. However, when he lost and got his wake up call. It was his last wake up call.
To all your gamer’s out there. Don’t be a No Lifer like Joystick. Enjoy your games, but make sure to have some fun outside. Maybe have some fun inside. Move your body a bit, take a breather, or play on your hand held games. Don’t wind up like Joystick who now literally has no life...At all.
Way To Die #26: Game Stopped
Author's Note
Coming up we’re still in the Human World and see a girl who is just like Vinyl Scratch. She pays the price when she listen’s to her music all the way up, and then back in Equestria a clown that hates two clowns that took his job at a summer birthday party. Summer is here and so is death.
Date: July 17, 2015
Oh boy you hear that noise coming from someone's headphones. That means that they have the volume up really high. That reminds me of somepony. However, this is a human. Say hello to Lemon Zest. She loved Rock, and listened to it all day. Today she was going to her summer job. Working at a construction site. Believe me she would rather not be working during the summer, but she wanted tickets for her favorite band which was coming in three weeks. The only way to get money for those tickets was to work for it. Every ticket has been sold out except for front row seats and she just needed thirty more bucks, and one front row seat would be her's.
She worked hard almost everyday. One other thing is she was the only female working there. The men always would sneak a peak every time she'd bend over to fix something. She got whistles here and there, but it didn't matter. She didn't hear them. She had her headphones on when she was working, of course she wore a helmet, but she still had her headphones tucked underneath it. One problem she had was she couldn't really follow instructions. Kind of hard to follow instructions when you can't hear them. It's important to follow rules at a construction site.
However, the workers would help her out. I mean if she got fired they would lose the great view they got from her. One day the construction site was working on a very dangerous construction project for a company. They were getting paid by Filthy Rich industries to build a simple house for her daughter. His daughter was to young to live on her own, but she got what she wanted no matter what. She wanted a house for one of her birthday parties. They needed some people to work overtime and Hammer the owner of the construction company said that he would pay anyone who worked overtime today. Of course Lemon Zest was the first one to take the offer.
Lemon Zest worked overtime and couldn't wait to get paid. She had her headphones on and went up the second floor on the house they were working on. Being on the second floor is dangerous isn't it. Well we got a nurse here that had had experience from people who have gotten in accidents at construction sites, Nurse Redheart.
"Many accidents happen at construction sites. Some could lead to injury or even death. If you work at a construction site you should stay alert not listen to loud music all day. Most accidents I've seen are from people that fall from the second or higher floor. I've seen broken arms, ribs, legs, even a pole that stabbed someone's leg, very huge cuts and of course the old nail through the finger."
Well that's bad, and very bad for Lemon Zest. She was jamming out to her favorite song and was dancing a bit. She accidently hit her hand on a button that brought equipment up to the second floor by a platform. However equipment was being put on there, but was unbalanced.
"Hey!! No!! Stop that platform!!" A construction worker shouted, but it was to late.
Lemon Zest was still jamming out until the platform came up and pushed her.
"Woah!!"
Made her lose her footing making her fall of the second floor.
"AHHHHHH!!!!!"
She would have survived and she would've gotten broken bones, except...
*Stab*
She fell on some nails sticking out. Stabbing her.
"Oh shit!!! Somebody call on ambulance!!!" Another construction worker said.
Lemon Zest impaled herself with the nails. Some cut through her major arteries, stabbed her lungs and one impaled her heart making her bleed out. She was dead.
To all you workers out there who like to listen to music while working, here's a tip. Listen to your music through one ear and make sure the other one can hear the stuff around you.
Well Lemon Zest you got paid. However, she's using her money for a coffin she needs now. Pink slip for you Lemon Zest for dying on the job...Rock on.
Way To Die #27: Nine Inch Nailed
Author's Note
If anyone's got an idea PM me I would like to hear it, and use it. Make sure to put Date, and Location.
Human Soundcheck (Created by Mitchboy)
Date: July 19, 2016
Hey...Why is their no picture...What do you mean we already did this idiot? Oh he was that pony from awhile back...His body was what...Yikes okay don't use that picture or we probably might get in trouble. Well fans if you've been here since the beginning you'll remember Soundcheck. Died by electrocution during the Grand Galloping Gala because some wine fell on an exposed wire connected to the guitar he was playing. He loved to play guitar. Well looks like his human counterpart also had trouble. Today him and his whole school was going to Camp Everfree. While he was waiting for the bus to get there he was staring at the girl he had a crush on, Cherry Crash. She was hanging out with her friends.
She was showing something to her friends on her phone. Internet is a crazy place and they saw a picture of a guy giving a bear a wet willy. Man who would be stupid enough to do that.
"I would marry any guy that's brave enough to do that." Cherry Crash said.
Oh no, when Soundcheck heard that he knew what he was going to do when he got to Camp Everfree. Still how did a guy give a bear a wet willy. Well the picture that Cherry Crash and her friends were looking at was fake. You really can't trust a lot of stuff on the internet. Finally the bus parked and everybody got off. Soundcheck went into the woods to find a bear. He saw a cave with something glowing inside it but ignored it. Probably nothing important in that cave. Doesn't this guy even know how to find or trap a bear. Well we got a bear hunter human hear named Brave Heart. Lets see what Soundcheck was doing wrong.
"When you search for a bear you should have bear traps around and a person following you just in case things get bad they can help you out. Having some darts may help to. To find a bear they usually live in caves, near a lake and near a food source like berries or were their prey live. This guy was stupid and had no idea what he was doing. No protection, no helper, no traps, darts and he was just plain stupid."
Thanks Brave Heart. Well Soundcheck finally found a bear sleeping in a cave he took out his phone until someone spoke behind him.
"What are you doing?"
Soundcheck jumped turned around and saw that Cherry Crash followed him when he went into the forest.
"Well...Ummm...I'm going to give a bear a wet willy."
"Are you serious. Oh that is so cool. You know if you do that maybe you and I could...Share a tent tonight."
Once Cherry Crash said that giving Soundcheck bedroom eyes Soundcheck's brain was not working anymore. His dick took over. However, little that they knew everyone else realized they were gone and started looking for them. Gloriosa and Timber, The owners of Camp Everfree, knew this was bad. They knew the forest was a dangerous place. They knew the rights and wrongs about walking in the woods so everyone was in one big group. They couldn't spread out to find Soundcheck and Cherry Crash.
Well Soundcheck was sneaking into the cave while Cherry Crash had her phone ready. Soundcheck heard the bear snoring. He was a big guy. Soundcheck makes sure he doesn't make a sound and covered his finger with saliva and went next to the bears ear. With thinking about what Cherry Crash would be doing with him tonight. He jabbed his finger in the bear while Cherry Crash took the picture...Idiot. Brave Heart how would the bear react.
"When you wake a bear up from its nap he thinks your trying to overtake his territory. That is going to end up in a fight. Bears fight for territory all the time. Many people get pictures of that. This guy was fucked."
Well the bear woke up and thought Soundcheck was trying to overtake his territory.
*ROAR!!!!!!*
Soundcheck runs but the bear grabs him. Cherry Crash screams and runs off. Soundcheck is getting scratched in the face by the bears claws. His eye is taken out making him lose liters of blood. Now the bear bit his stomach. The bear decided that Soundcheck tasted good. Time for lunch.
AHHHHHH!!!!!" Soundcheck shouted while being eaten alive.
Soundcheck's major arteries were eaten by a bear making him lose more, and more blood until he was nothing until a shell of a dead body. Finally Cherry Crash got help. Well it was to late...Hey Soundcheck your all over the news again. Death at Camp Everfree.
As the sunsets on another unfortunate summer death. Lets offer a heart felt goodbye to our old dumbass. Gee thanks for starring on the show Soundcheck...Twice.
Way To Die #28: Death By Furry
Author's Note
Coming up we go back to Equestria and learn that clowns die in weird ways. Then we see Granny Smith get a new hip, and teaches a thief a lesson don’t mess with the Apple Family.
I'm taking a break. Me and my family are going to a theme park far away so I think i'll be gone for a week or so. When I come back i'll be ready for more deaths.
Author's Note
I' m back and ready for more deaths this summer. Now sit back and enjoy this death.
Funny Bone
Date: July 26, 2013
Well here we are at a sweet little ponies birthday party. The birthday girl's name was Saddle. The party was getting to the best part. Two clowns that Saddle's father hired were here. Bozo and Trouble Shoes. Those two together didn't need a script. They were funny anywhere even without the makeup. Once they entered the house the fillies and colts cheered.
"Hey little ponies! Ready for whoops." Trouble Shoes said and accidentally tripped over his hoofs and landed on a pie he was holding making all the kids laugh.
Bozo and Trouble Shoes made all the little ponies laugh with jokes and any other stuff they had. However, we need to talk about another clown in this story. Meet Funny Bone. He was a clown that needed jobs. Now Saddle was going to hire him, but the problem is he cost way to much. Funny Bone didn't take no for an answer, so instead he decided to go to the party and have a Goof Off. What the hell is a Goof Off...Uhhh Pinkie help me out here.
"A Goof Off is when two competitors have free range to goof about and make the judge laugh as much as they can. I've been in one Goof Off which was against Cheese Sandwhich, I've also seen many Goof Off's. You need to be a trained professional of silliness or a master of parties to be in one. If your not you could get seriously hurt. Can I have the cupcake now that you promised me that I would get one if I guest stared in this story!!!"
Give her the cupcake...Uhhh anyways Funny Bone was heading to the party. Funny Bone would challenge the other two clowns to a Goof Off and do an amazing trick. It was called the Inside Out Ballon. What is that Pinkie...Pinkie stop eating the cupcake and answer the question.
"Huh? Wha? Oh The Inside Out Ballon Trick is when you surround yourself inside a gigantic ballon. The ballon will start small but then it will get big and you'll be engulfed by it. You must stand perfectly still!!!! Then you pop out and throw candy at your audience. However the ballon you use is very dangerous because if it pops cause you moved to much it will explode right on you and the pieces are like shrapnel's of metal. I've only done it once and let me tell you it was amazing for the crowd but I sure was scared."
Finally Funny Bone made it to the party burst through the entrance and looked at Bozo and Trouble Shoes.
"Bozo and Trouble Shoes I challenge you two to a Goof Off!!"
Once that was said they took their stances and were about to began. They made Saddle the judge and began to do every single trick they knew. Bozo did many flips and feel into a banana cream pie while singing. Trouble Shoes tried to clear a ring but instead he just fell and tumbled. However it was still funny. Funny Bone also did flips and feel into a banana cream pie. However the trick that Trouble Shoes tried to do he perfected and made many ponies stand there amazed. Then he did another flip and fell into another banana cream pie making all the ponies and Saddle laugh out loud. Bozo and Trouble Shoes didn't give up that easily they did every trick they knew and before Funny Bone knew it he lost. Saddle chose Bozo and Trouble Shoes as the winner.
Funny Bone was not happy. "Wait I got one more trick." However, nopony was paying attention to him. He set up the stuff he needed and began to do the Inside And Out Ballon Trick. He stood there while the ballon engulfed him. However Funny Bone accidently moved his hoof and the ballon was about to pop.
"Oh no."
*Boom!!!*
No one heard the explosion because the little ponies were blowing on party favors making so much noise. Funny Bone was on the ground dead. Covered in ballon pieces. The ballon pieces which were now sharp as metal shrapnel's cut the side of his neck causing massive blood loss severing the jugular. That caused Funny Bone to no longer receive blood to his major organs. All the other shrapnel's punctured other such body parts and he died instantly from heavy blood loss.
Funny Bone wanted a job. He didn't get it so he challenged the other clowns to a Goof Off. Game over Funny Bone you lost. Hey look on the bright side you made the ponies at the morgue laugh at how you died...Hey did you hear about the death about that clown that tried to do the Inside Out Ballon Trick... Ha that's a good one.
Way To Die #29: Ballon-A-Tic
Author's Note
HollowZero made the art. I made the death.
Sticky Hooves
Date: June 11, 2014
Look at this pony. Now lets be honest, he's going to die...And you're going to be happy that he does. Now everypony, if you live in Ponyville than you know Granny Smith. A little old lady who says howdy to everypony she meets. Her food is delicious. She was in Ponyville because she finally got a new hip and was able to walk without any help. She may be old but she has many years left in her. She was going to buy some tools for the farm and had a bag full of bits.
Now lets go back to the pony in the picture. Meet Sticky Hooves. A pony who never made a truthful bit in his life. He's a thief, a rat bastard. He's looking for a good target to steal from. When he sees Granny Smith, he smiles. Now of course Sticky Hooves doesn't want to be seen. He puts on a hoodie to hide himself. This was going to be easy.
Granny Smith is still walking peacefully. Until Sticky Hooves tries to steal the bag full of bits she's holding. Emphasis on tries because Granny Smith was holding on to the bag very well and now Sticky Hooves has to fight for the bits...Bad idea. Granny punches him in the face and he's in for a painful beating. Now Granny may be old but she's worked in the farm her whole life. She is like a crazy bull when she sees a thief. She grabs Sticky Hooves and hits his face through a window.
*Crash!!!*
"What the?" Mr.Cake said.
Many ponies see what's going on and head outside. Now right outside of Sugar Cube Corner is a fight against an old granny and a young thief. This thief is fucked. He tries to run away but Granny Smith grabs him by the tail. She ain't done with him yet. She going to give this stallion a whole pack of senior citizen whoop ass. She punches him in his stallion hood then punches him in the face. He's got bloody nose but Granny ain't done.
"Yeah Granny Smith you go!!!" Rainbow Dash says drinking a smoothie she got from Sugar Cube Corner.
"Kick his flank!!!" A stallion shouts.
Sticky Hooves has no problem punching an old mare back. He gets a few blows, but that only ignites Granny's fumes. She bucks him in the stomach and then Sticky Hooves realizes he's not going to win this fight. He tires to run away.
"Get back here ya varmint!!" Granny Smith shouts and kicks Stick Hooves straight into the garbage can near Sugar Cube Corner's.
Finally some two geeks start filming with their camera. "Yeah beat him up!!!" One of the geeks shout.
Finally Sticky Hooves is on the ground and Granny decided to deliver the buck of all bucks. She's still got some shopping to do after this.
*Smack!!!*
She delivers the grandmother of all bucks right on Sticky Hooves throat. Sticky Hooves can't breath and everypony cheers for Granny Smith's victory. Once that's done they all leave Sticky Hooves all on his own.
Sticky Hooves gets up and runs to an ally. He takes off his hoodie and is holding on to his throat. "Agh!! Agh!! Agh!!"
He still can't breath and then finally...
*Plop!!*
He Falls down...Dead on the ground.
Granny bucked Sticky Hooves windpipe and bucked him right where the Adam's Apple was and she generated enough force to rupture his windpipe now his body wasn't able to suck in the air he needed to live.
Granny is nice to everypony she meets but a thief is something she just can't stand. Poor Sticky Hooves. He learned how The Apple Family does it down at the farm. Take that Sticky Hooves....How do ya like them apples.
Way To Die #30: Wrin-Killed
Date: August 5, 2016
Welcome to Manehatten. Today, Collector is having a garage sell and one mare that visiting Manehatten likes this garage sell. Meet Royal Ribbon a mare from Canterlot. She is a very rich pony. How did she get all her money? Well her mother and father were con artist's. Royal Ribbon was royalty thanks to her parents money but in reality she got her money from stealing. A garage sell that has many collectibles is like heaven to her. She was rich, the way she stole was simple. Look around find some valuables, hide them in her saddlebag, look for something worthless, pay about 500 bits for it and make a huge profit on what she stole. This has happened many times, right Flim and Flam?
"We've sold lots of things and we've seen ponies that try to steal all the time. They give us some bits but we also check them before they leave because they could be trying to steal them, right Flam?"
"Heck yeah Flim you're right. It's happened plenty of times. Ponies that sell things be careful especially at a garage sell. Make sure you keep an eye of who's buying and make sure you check the pony who's buying even if they pay."
Thanks for the advice Flim and Flam. Anyways Royal Ribbon went to the garage sell. However, she came a bit early.
"Excuse me sir, is this were the garage sell is?" Royal said.
"Miss...Didn't you read the sign? The garage sell starts at 8:00 A.M and it's 6:00-"
However, Collector stopped when Royal took out a bag full of bits from her saddlebag.
'Well...I guess you can check what I have."
Royal smiled and looked around for something valuable. She looked around and found some good things and put them in her saddlebag. However, she really didn't care about putting stuff back. She left a mess everywhere she rummaged for things.
"Excuse me, do you mind respecting my stuff please." Collector said.
"Oh of course I'm sorry." Royal said.
Royal was in heaven she found many valuable's and stole them. However, she lost track of time. It was 8:00 A.M and now everypony was coming to the garage sell to see what they could buy. Royal was in trouble she knew Collector would check everypony before they left. She grabbed a bag full of junk and paid 500 bits for it. Collector accepted, she paid and she left in a flash with the good stuff. Royal wanted to check out her loot so she went to Luxuries Hotel to see what she got.
She saw she had rare comic books, rare items from the 50's, amazing toys that other Collector's would pay a fortune for, she also had some video games that gamer's would love to have. The total that she stole was about 10,000 bits. She got that much for 500 bits. However their was a problem. Collocter's garage sell ended fast. He realized some stuff was stolen but he didn't know how. He checked everypony before they left. The he remembered Royal Ribbon.
He went around asking ponies if they saw a mare that fit her description. Then one pony said she was at Luxuries Hotel. Collector had her. Royal was still checking out the stuff she got. Then she felt something in her saddlebag. She must have grabbed it by mistake. When she took it out she saw it was a strange ring. She took and closer look at it and decided to keep it. Then, Collector barged down her door. Royal was in trouble.
"Give me my stuff you stole!!!" Collector shouted.
They took a tumble to the ground. Royal was holding on to the ring while Collector was fighting her. While they were fighting Royal accidently pushed a button that the ring had on the side and the ring was pointing at her close to her eye . All of a sudden...
*Bam!!!*
A small bullet came out making a loud noise and shot her...Right in the eye. What type of ring was that. Shining Armour you know a lot about weapons right. I mean you got an A+ in the Royal Guard's weapons history test while you were trying to become one. What type of ring was that Shining Armour.
"That ring was a Dyson Lapetit Protector Ring Pistol it was invented in the 19th century and is extremely rare. Cost about 100,000 bits or even more today. It holds a .2 caliber inside of it so you need to be close to get hurt by it. However, it does make a loud noise when it's shot. Many Collocter's would die to have this in their collection."
Collector left that thing in a box by mistake. He thought he had it in his private collocation in his closet.
"Oh shit!!! Miss!!! Miss!!!"
Royal was done for. Oh poor Royal Ribbon death decided that if she wasn't going to pay full price for what she stole. Then she was going to pay for it with...Her life...What a deal to die for.
Way To Die #31: Ring-A-Ding Dead
Author's Note
Coming up an old scientist teacher teaches a retired mean house owner a lesson. Then one mare tries to help her friend escape jail. She fails.
Date: June 5, 2006
Now stop me if you heard this one. Your family loves you and they care for you. Sadly, when it's your time they put you in a retirement home and you can relax for once in your life. That's good right. Well not if they sent you to Happy Acres owned by Rage. Rage is a Unicorn with a black coat, red mane and his cutie mark was a white swirl with an exclamation point. He hated the elderly
"Your drooling again. No sleeping, it's not nap time yet!! If you want to sleep now why not just die already!!" Rage shouted to the elderly ponies.
He hated his job but it's how he got money. However, there was one elderly unicorn called Beaker. He was a green unicorn, had red mane used to be black but changed during a science experiment accident and had a chemical beaker for a cutie mark. He loved doing science experiments even in this retirement home. He had his old tools with him wherever he went. Even in the lounge he would mess with things like with some prune juice and mix it with other weird chemicals. All the elderly ponies were surprised and amazed but Rage was pissed off.
"Beaker how many times have I told you? No science experiments in the lounge!!!!!" Rage shouted.
He hated when Beaker did that because the janitors would have to clean it up and it would take them a long time which meant Rage would usually have to pay them overtime. Rage hated what Beaker did and Beaker hated Rage. It was a bad relationship between them. Every Wednesday Nurse Red Heart would come to help around. Ever time she came Rage would always flirt with her. Red Heart would usually ignore him but she did have to agree that she liked some of Rage's pickup lines. Every time she bent over to pick something up. That gave Rage a good view of her plot.
However, one Wednesday while Rage was flirting with Red Heart. Beaker was experimenting with his lunch. Rage made sure he didn't give him anything to experiment with. However, Rage never made it through high school. That's to bad because Beaker used to teach something to high school students. Something about a pickle. He grabbed a pickle from his tray and was going to turn it into a crude light, He got to work and took out his tools.
"Oh boy lets see what he does it's pretty fascinating what he does." one elderly pony said making the others gather around.
"A pickle can be turned into a crude light easily. By using it's natural salinity, a couple of nails, and a power source you can make the pickle glow. It looks amazing and I've shown many little ponies that trick. I did it once in Miss Cheerilee's class and everypony loved it."
Thanks Twilight. Beaker had everything set up and turned off the lights. Then the pickle glowed making everypony looked at it amazed. Rage was still flirting with Red Heart but then heard the commotion. He decided to see what was going on.
"Really!!! Again Beaker!!! A pickle!!!" Rage shouted at Beaker. "This is your last warning!!! NO!!! SCIENCE!!!!!" Rage shouted and grabbed the pickle by the nails with his hooves. EXPERIME-
*Zap*
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Rage grabbed the pickle...and got juiced.
"You know you should have picked it up with your magic. Everypony I mean ohh that pickle is glowing. Well don't grab it with your hooves then." Beaker said.
Okay Twilight how did he die.
"Well the sodium chloride in the pickle causes a massive electrical circuit. One thing you shouldn't do. Pick it up with your hooves. This Unicorn was dumb enough to pick it up with his hooves and grabbed it by the nails. He completed another circuit. Allowing the current to flow in one hoove, through his heart, and out the other hooves. Due to the salt water content of the pickle more than several hundred million jolts of electricity was lightly passing through his heart. Eventually causing cardiac arrest and death."
Rage picked a pickle. That gave him a tickle. Now his life isn't worth...A wooden nickle.
Way To Die#32: DIL D'OH!!!
Date:August 15, 2005
Okay everypony we got a short death story. Not long but it deserves to be on our list. Now a lot of stuff happens in Mexicolt. This prison owned by Locker has many prisoners behind bars. Greta is trying to get her twin sister Hilda out. One reason well she's the only mare in that prison. That is a really bad thing. Hilda was put in jail because she cheated a stallion out of his money. The two of them were there for a simple trip around Equestria, now it's turned into a living hell. Don't know much about prisons but we got a royal guard here. What can you say about one mare in prison. Why is it a bad thing.
"When a mare gets put in prison you might want to put her in a cell away from the stallions. It is a serious problem that stallions will try to take advantage of them. However, apparently in this prison I guess the owner didn't care and for the mare I suppose it was like hell to her to have those stallions around her."
Greta went to visit her sister and they talked.
"Greta you got to get me out of here the stallions are giving me looks and they say that we're going to have fun tonight, they say I have pretty eyes, and they mentioned something about lube."
"Oh my word. Okay listen Hilda I have an idea. You have a window with bars right?"
"Yeah.'"
"I have a plan to bust you out and we can go back to Manehatten. This is full proof I saw it in a movie once." Greta said.
Now wait a second. What did Greta just say. Saw it in a movie once. You know not everything in movies work. That is just stupidity at it's finest. Anyways Greta's plan was to tie a rope to the cell window and pull it with her magic and her sister could break out. That night the plan was in action Greta woke her sister up and set up the rope. She began to pull with her magic.
"Come on you stupid thing break!!!" Greta groaned using her magic and trying with all her might. Finally it worked the bars snapped.
*Snap!!*
“Yeah!!” Her sister was free at last.
*Smack!!*
What was that noise. Oh well that was Greta's eye getting impaled by one of the bars.
"Ahhhhh!!!! Greta!!!!" Hilda shouted seeing the gruesome sight.
Greta got her eye impaled by a metal bar. It went through her brain causing major bleeding in the brain. Her brain couldn't function and couldn't send any messages such as breathing, and messages to the major organs. Greta was dead. Well at least Hilda escaped.
Poor Greta...She got a death sentence...From death himself.
Way To Die #33: Mexi-Can't
Author's Note
Yeah it's short but my sister wanted me to do this. Don't worry the deaths coming up aren't short. Coming up we got a suggestion from someone that has something to do with a griffon and some windigos. Then we go back to the human world and talk about a girl who parks in a handicap spot and gets what she deserves.
Ethan Eagle (Created By Damien Martino)
Date: ??? (Before Hearths Warming Existed)
Okay 1000 Way fans, we got a blast from the past. Now we don't know much about Griffons, but we got a story about one. If you were alive before Hearths Warming eve existed then you would know how they acted. They were like dragons. They were greedy and always kept to themselves. Why did they change their ways. Here to answer that is Ethan Eagle. A scout in The Griffon Army. His job today was to go find some food. It was freezing temperature and Ethan was in a huge blizzard.
"I fuckin hate searching for food!!! Why can't any other Griffon do this!!!" Ethan shouted in anger.
Now we all know Griffons eat meat. Ethan was searching for any living thing he could find in this blizzard. However, Ethan was about to find something hidden underneath all the snow. As Ethan was walking he felt one of his claws get stuck in a hole. He looked down and realized something was under there. He dug and figured out it was a huge hole. He flew down and saw that he found a treasure hidden lair. He smiled and he also found dinner. Which were a few animals living down there. Animals are food for Griffons.The end right...Not really.
Ethan now always volunteer to find food to go to his secret hideout. He would hangout there for a bit and bring some food from his hideout thanks to the animals that lived down there. He loved his secret hideout. It was like his own Man Cave. However, one day Ethan's hideout was covered in ice.
"What the fuck!!!"
It was really cold that day. He was trying to break the ice but no such luck. Then all of a sudden he heard a noise. It sounded like some neighing. He decided to go check it out. He thought it was just someponies. Boy was he wrong. The neighing got louder and louder. Ethan looked around. Then he looked up and saw something that freaked him out. He saw weird horse creatures in the sky.
*Neigh!!!!*
They were making the noise. What were these creatures. They were Windigos. What are those. Well we got a Historian here called Pager.
"Windigos are malevolent winter spirits that feed off fighting and hatred. The more hate the spirit feels, the colder things become. The feud between unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies gives Windigos power which they use to turn the lands into an unlivable winter wasteland. If ponies hatred gets violent enough Windigos can even freeze them in ice blocks. I only got about two books about these creatures. Some ponies say they are still around today. If you see one. Pardon my language but...Your fucked."
Ethan hated the noise they were making and was angry at these Windigos.
"Get out of here wherever you things are!!!!"
Once the Windigos heard that they feed off the hatred coming from Ethan. Ethan is already cold but then he starts to feel a bit colder. He starts to breath heavily. He feels something in his claws and sees that he is turning into an ice block. The Windigos were killing him slowly.
"Ahhhhhh!!!!!"
Hypothermia started to happen to Ethan. First his blood cells start to flow slowly. He tired to call for help but then he realized he couldn't call for help anymore because that was stage two of hypothermia. You can't speak. Stage three well. Ethan's body finally had enough and the ice covering him finally finished its job and Ethan was...Dead.
If that isn't enough for you. Guess what it doesn't end their. Someponies found his body and used his body as a statue. Heh well look at you now Ethan. You're a dead Griffon that everypony can look at. This is why Griffon's have a saying about greed today that they all follow. Have a greedy mind, you have a greedy heart, then you'll freeze and then you'll lose...Your greedy life.
Way To Die #34: Cold Turkey
Date: July 19, 2015
Welcome to Chariot Beach. The most popular beach in the Human World. You could surf, swim, get a tan, and at night have sex on the beach. Now lets meet this girl named Sweet Leaf. Sweet Leaf sold many things near the beach. Sun tan lotion, surfboards, and even some drugs that she kept hidden very well. The customers needed to know the password she gave them to purchase those. Were was her shop? Well she owned a truck. She usually just sat on the cargo bed with the stuff she sold around her, a sign that showed the prices of things she sold except for the drugs and waited for customers.
"Leaf lick." A guy whispered.
Sweet Leaf took out her drug stash and gave the guy what he wanted for fifty bucks. Others came for some sun tan lotion, and the surfboards. She did pretty well selling stuff especially her drugs. She decided to have some of her drugs herself and got a bit high. That's when she decided to have some fun at the beach. She took of her clothes and put on her bikini. She was having fun in the water surfing with many surfers and also asking them if they wanted to help her change. They would go to a dressing booth and have some fun.
"Oh fuck yes!!! Yeah!! Fuck me!!!" Sweet Leaf would scream in pure bliss every time she came.
She was having a great time. Their was only one thing that sucked at the beach. It was a bitch to find a parking space. One man was trying to find a parking spot and was handicap. His name was Bomber. Sweet Leaf got back to her car which was parked at a handicap spot. Bomber lost a leg while serving in the military. The least his country could do for him was give him a place to park. When he saw Sweet Leaf he got out of his car enraged and came out in his crutches. Sweet Leaf had no problem using handicap spots. She decided she was done for the day and packed her stuff up and put her surfboards in the truck's cargo bed.
"Hey what gives!! Your not handicap you cant park there!!" Bomber shouted
"Hop back to your car!!!" Sweet Leaf shouted.
Sweet Leaf was about to leave but she decided to wait for awhile to mess around with this guy. How does that feel to handicap people well we got a man named Fury Stunt here that's handicap. Have you had this happen to you.
"I used to walk but I did a crazy stunt that left me handicap. People who park in handicap spaces and are not handicap it just ugh!!! Sends me in a craze!!! I mean what the fuck!!! When I see that I yell at them. If they don't move and they leave their car there then I scratch a note on their car...With my key."
Thanks Fury Stunt.
Bomber had enough waiting and went up to Sweet Leaf's car and started scratching it with his key.
"Hey you fucker back off!! You know what!!" Sweet Leaf was pissed and began to back up and try to run Bomber over. Until.
"Woah miss wait!!" Bomber shouted
*Smack!! Crash!! Crack!!*
What was that sound. Smack was the sound of one of Sweet Leaf's surfboards pivoting sideways because the tail of the surf board caught the handicap sign. The crash was the surf board breaking through the trucks glass window, and to the back of Sweet Leaf's neck...Cracking it. The surf board hit Sweet Leaf at just the right spot to sever her spinal column from her brain stem. Her body could not receive any signals to operate. So her major organs stopped working. Which caused Sweet Leaf to die in seconds. Oh...Bummer Sweet Leaf. Bomber was trying to warn her but was to late.
Sweet Leaf would have run over her own grandmother for a parking spot. She got high and had some fun swimming, having sex, and surfing. However, instead of Sweet Leaf hanging ten. She is now...Deep six. Welcome to hell Sweet Leaf. You can park here as long as you like...Bitch.
Way To Die #35 Handi-Crapped
Author's Note
Coming up were staying in the Human World and deal with some sex on the beach that goes horribly wrong, and then one couple tries to find some animals in the wild safari for a summer trip and instead find some deadly ants.
Gloriosa Daisy And Sandalwood
Author's Note
AdamMasterArt made the art and I made the death.
Gloriosa Daisy And Sandalwood
Date: August 2, 2016
Alright fans. If you've been to Camp Everfree then you know Gloriosa Daisy. She still works there. However, after a death that happen their that's on our list it's been pretty tough to get anybody to come around. She needs money to keep the camp. Timber Spruce has a job as well and has been doing a good job. He works at a simple restaurant. Gloriosa got a job as a lifeguard and she was a bitch.
She would usually not pay attention and just hang out looking at her phone or trying to get a tan. She really didn't care about her job. If anyone was in trouble she probably wouldn't have noticed. She hated this job. However, their are a few perks she liked about being a lifeguard. Flash Sentry what are the perks of being one.
"As a lifeguard we tend to get hit on by single moms all the time. It's kind of nice. We tend to call'em milfs. Girl lifeguards may get hit on by guys around there. They can get a guy very easily. Usually if your looking for some action you should tryout to become a lifeguard."
Thank Flash. Tonight Gloriosa caught a boys eye. His name was Sandalwood. He was down to earth and loved nature. Just like her. Everytime she saw Sandalwood watching her she would pretend she dropped something and show her ass. Tonight she finally asked him to stay after hours were the beach was completely abandoned.
Gloriosa began to take off her one piece swimsuit. Sandalwood took of his swim trunks. They were on the beach floor ready to have fun.
Gloriosa leaned into Sandalwood's ear and whispered i'm going to milk you for all you got."
She placed her hand against his member, He squeaked as he felt a light squeeze on his member. She smiled as she felt his member hardening in her grasp. Sandalwood let out a groan of pleasure.
"Are you alright or am I doing something wrong." Gloriosa said teasing him.
"No. Please. Don’t stop.” Sandalwood groaned.
She bent down in front of him and looked up, locking gazes. A sharp spike of desire coursed through him as he stared into her lustful eyes. Neither of their eyes left each other as she leaned forward and gave his member a long lick from the base to the tip.
She held him inside massaging his length inside of her mouth with her tongue and swallowing. She desperately wanted his seed. She began to rock her head rhythmically and with a combination of sucking and swallowing, edged him closer to release.
“Oh Gloriosa I’m about to cum!”
She lifted her head all the way up to his tip before plunging down one final time Sandalwood’s legs bucked as she took him to the base and swallowed. Sandalwood groaned in pleasure.
"Ohhhh fuck yeah!!!" Sandalwood shouted.
Long hot spurts of his seed shot down her throat causing Gloriosa to moan as she felt his pulsating rod inside of her. She held it just long enough for him to finish and she leaned back, his member sliding out of her mouth, dangling just in front of her with a few strings of cum connecting from his tip to her mouth.
Smiling, she licked her lips as she took his cock back into her hands.
“Done already? I’m just getting started.”
Sandalwood was hard once again. Gloriosa spread her legs and Sandalwood was ready.
He positioned himself so the head of his throbbing cock pushed at the entrance of her winking clitoris. He guided it as he pushed inside. Gloriosa gasped as she felt his warmth enter her. He kept sliding inside, inch-by-inch as her body rocked underneath him. He started slow but her walls were so tight. He went faster and faster. He pounded her with increasing intensity with each thrust.
"Am about to cum!!!" Gloriosa shouted.
Me to!!" Sandalwood said.
Finally with one final thrust they both came. Then all of a sudden.
*Hissssss!!*
They both shouted in pure bliss as something was hissing and slithering...
*Bite!!*
"Ow!!!" The thing hissing bit them and they shouted in pain. Well the thing that was hissing was a cottonmouth snake. Fluttershy explained what caused this snake to bite them.
"A cottonmouth on the beach isn't common but it could still happen. Snakes are nice animals. I take care of many but this one I guess...Wasn't so nice and bit them. They must have been allergic to the bite because it take hours for people to well...Die from a bite but it takes a few minutes for people allergic to die from it. The toxic bite would infect their bloodstream quick and their...Done for."
Thanks Fluttershy.
Anyways with that bite to both of them. Allergic as well to it. They tried to find help but after ten minutes their hearts stopped and...
*Plop*
They fell in the sand...Dead. I'm addicted to your love. Don't you know that your toxic...Get a room you two.
Way To Die #36: Toxic Love
Date: June 30, 2013
Welcome to Africa...Weird it's called Zebrica were us ponies come from. Well anyways, meet Sunny Flare and the guy driving the hummer is her boyfriend Lucky Clover. He was always lucky and finally got enough money to take her out to Africa.
"Do you have any idea were we are going? " Sunny Flare asked her boyfriend Lucky.
"I'm pretty sure. I'm following the map. We should be there in no time. We should be able to see Giraffes on the right." Lucky said.
However to their right was nothing but trees...Uh oh their lost. Now everyone knows that when your lost you should ask for directions. How did they even get lost in the first place. Well a while ago they had a guide driving the hummer awhile back. Only problem the guide couldn't find any animals. It was because she was driving the right way. In a few hours they would see animals.
"Do you even now how to drive!! We don't see any animals!! I would settle for a zebra!!!" Sunny Flare shouted.
Their guide was a women named Zecora. "Be patient my dear. You will see many wildlife here."
"What is up with your rhyming?" Lucky Clover asked a bit confused.
However, Sunny Flare couldn't wait any longer. They fired Zecora dropped her off the nearest village and she made her boyfriend Lucky Clover drive and find animals. That probably wasn't a good idea. Am I right Zecora.
"Those two young youths. Will be done and due."
Can you stop rhyming for just a couple of seconds. Just speak normal.
"Ahem. It..is..very..bad for anybody to head in the safari alone. It is easy for me since i've seen many dangers from my country and faced them. It would be incredibly idiotic to try and trek across the safari without an experienced guide, fresh drinking water, and thorough planning. The animals that can harm you goes into the dozens..Am I done. May I speak in my native tongue."
Yes Zecora. Anyways the harsh environment that Sunny and Luck were getting was horrible and then their hummer ran out of gas. Walking on feet is what they had to do. They decided to head back to the village or at least try to.
"This is your fault!! All your fault!!" Sunny Shouted.
Lucky was taking the blame while his girlfriend kept shouting and blabbering. Three and a half hours later those two were predictably and dangerously lost.
"I feel like were going in circles." Sunny said.
"We're going the right way would you just trust me." Lucky said.
The 119 degree heat was taking a toll on the couple. They were feeling the fatigue of dehydration. They found shade under a tree. They were dizzy and nauseous. They passed out within minutes. What happened next can only be described as bad to worse. An entire colony of driver ants. 50,000,000 strong were on the move.
Finally Lucky woke up and... "Ahhhh!!!! Oh my Fuckin god!!!!"
The ants made a new home in Sunny's body. They should have known driver ants are extremely dangerous. Sunny was knocked out with her mouth open and the ants went in her throat. They bit her in the throat with the acid they have and pretty much killed her...They just chowed her down.
Lucky Clover was lucky. He was spared because the cologne he was wearing contained dry cycle of decimal paolo ethan. A chemical found to repel insects. He made it to the village alive.
Sunny Flare was a brat that got some ants ...Hey Sunny I got a message from. death...Your dead.
Way To Die #37 African't
Author's Note
Coming up we go to the human world were its Halloween, and then Equestria it's Nightmare Night. After that-
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Human Ethan Eagle (Created by Damien Martino)
Date: October 31, 2016
You see that animatronic of Nightmare Moon. Pretty scary ain't it. The person fixing it is the griffon that was on our list awhile back. Meet Ethan Eagle's human counterpart. He works at this scare house. It's going to be open all night to all the people coming since tonight is Nightmare Ni- Uhh...Excuse me Halloween. That's what the humans call it. Anyways the only problem is Ethan hated this job. He had to fix the animatronics ever time they bug out, move them, and everything else he needed to do that day. He had a feeling everybody loved the animatronics and no one cared what he had to do. Even though if it wasn't for him this place probably wouldn't be scary.
Their was one thing he liked about this job. He had a Nightmare Moon mask that he loved. His friend was afraid of the animatronic.
"Rahhh!!!!" Ethan shouted behind his friend wearing the mask."
"Ahhhh!!!!! Dammit Ethan!!!" Ethan's friend shouted.
"Hahahaha!!!" Your like really easy to scare. You're second place of being the most easily person to scare. Fluttershy is number one."
Ethan loved doing that all the time. It's why he never quit his job. He would always keep his job if he could scare the shit out of his friend. His friend had enough and he wanted to get even. One day he told Ethan a rumor that many people believed was true. That the animatronics move by themselves.
"Hey Ethan did you hear the rumors of these animatronic?"
"No what about them."
"Well legend has it that an incidents including five children were murdered here. It was said that a man wearing an animatraonic suit lured them to a back room and murdered them. Legend has it that the animatronic moves on Halloween night because they are possessed by the five children. We should be careful because we work on that night. Who knows if those animatronics may move on their own."
"Yeah right." Ethan said not believing the rumor.
His friend had a plan. When Halloween night came and they closed at midnight he would scare Ethan with an old animatraonic suit he found in the back room.
Once Halloween night was here Scare House was getting ready for tonight. Many people were about to come to get sacred by the animatronics. Ethan made sure to put the animatronic were people would least expect them to jump. He put a pink pony animatronic behind a counter and programmed her to jump and scare people.
"Gahhhhhhh!!!!" The pink pony animatronic shouted.
"Ahhhhhh!!!!" A guy screamed like a girl.
The whole night was screeches and screams of people getting scared by the animatromics. Finally once it was midnight Ethan decided to fix the animatronic Nightmare Moon. She broke down half way through the night. He was getting paid overtime for this. His friend thought it was the right time to get revenge. He put on the suit that he found in the back room which was a golden pony suit. He made sure to sneak around and turn off the lights.
"Hey! What the fuck!" Ethan shouted as the lights turned off.
This was his friends chance. He came from behind him and screamed right in his face.
"Gahhhh!!!!!" His friend shouted.
"Ahhh!!!" Ethan got scared. Ethan should have checked were his hand was at because....
*Zap!!!*
Ahhhhhh!!!!!" Ethan got electrocuted, and fell to the ground...Dead.
His hand was were Nightmare Moon's electrical wire was. His friend scared him and he accidently grabbed it. Sending 1,000 volts into his heart.
"Oh shit!!" His friend said. His friend tried to run but...
*Snap!!! Zap!!! Crack!!!*
"Ahhhhhh!!!!!"
The suit his friend was using had spring locks. They locked vertically, shocked him, and cracked through his bones. He bled out, and... Died. That's why the suit was kept in the backroom. It wasn't supposed to be used.
When the manager came in the morning he saw the gruesome site. "Holy Shit!!! The rumors are true!!! The animatronics killed you!!" He said running off.
Hey this reminds me of a game. Heh those two idiots wouldn't have made it past night 1 in the game. You two are scare masters. You sacred each other to...Death.
Way To Die #38: Shock Horror
Off Topic (Created by Damien Martino)
Date: October 31, 2016
Well here we are back in Equestria. It's Nightmare Night and this pony named Off Topic is on the radio interviewing somepony, and playing scary songs. Off Topic was an okay pony except for one thing. He would always spread rumors that ponies would fall for. He also made rumors about ponies as well.
"Did you know Cadence is actually cheating on her husband?" Off Topic said to his fans.
Off Topic usually said it was stretching the truth. He didn't care who it hurt. He hid his Cutie Mark because it revealed what his special talent really was. It wasn't being a radio host. It was being a complete liar. You know this reminds me of something that happened in Ponyville. However, that's not what we're here to talk about. Off Topic was about to do two thing this Nightmare Night. He would make a silly hoax that a monster is coming to town. He had to make sure everything was ready for tonight.
"Dude, are you sure you want to do this? I mean doing this could get you in serious trouble." A pony said that worked for Off Topic.
"It's fine dude, I won't get in trouble." Off Topic said.
"Oh I almost forgot to tell you. Have you told-"
"Dude I'm busy i'll do whatever I have to do later." Off Topic said cutting of his worker.
The worker shrugged and headed home. It was time to get ready. It was ten o' clock and it was time for his show to start.
"This is Off Topic with some breaking news a monster is heading straight for Manehatten!!! In about two hours it will be here!!! The Princesses have done all they could we must evacuate immediately!!!" Off Topic shouted in the mic holding in his laughter. He screamed and explained how the monster looked like.
Two hours later almost everypony was evacuating Manehatten. Off Topic was laughing and was about to reveal the truth. Finally at 12:50 A.M he decided he had his fun. Everypony knew it was a hoax. He turned on the signal to apologize but...
*Crash!!!*
The satellite up on the roof fell and...
"Ahhhhh!!!!!"
*Crack!!! Splat!!!*
Landed right on Off Topic. That's what his worker was trying to tell him. He needed someone to bolt it down more because it was getting loose. He hadn't told anypony to fix it. However, he wasn't dead. The radio signal was still working. He reached for his microphone and whispered.
"Help the satellite fell on me. Get help."
Anypony that was listening didn't care. They thought he was lying. Finally Off Topics body was losing liters of blood, his bones were crushed, and finally death decided it was time for him...
"Ugh."
To go.
Hey did you hear the news. Off Topic pulled off a pretty good trick. It was help i'm not pretending i'm actually dying. Off Topic was a jerk and Faust from up above decided to teach him a lesson. So long Off Topic...You son of a bitch.
Way To Die #39: Breaking News
Author's Note
Pinkie Pie: Coming up i'm here to serve some cupcakes.
Author's Note
IronM17 made the picture I made the death
Lightning Dust
Date: June 23, 2012
It's Friday night. Rainbow Dash and her friends are watching a wrestling match on her T.V. It's the one thing they all love to watch and no one hated it. Pinkie Pie decided to have a sleepover at Rainbow Dash's place since they had too many sleepovers there and wanted some place new. They were in the living room watching T.V late at night. However, there was one new person they were hanging out with today. Lightning Dust, Rainbow Dash met Lightning Dust at The Wonderbolts Academy which was an amazing athletic team. They were both trying out for the team. They didn't get along at first but now they are good friends and have friendly competitions now and then.
Today the girls were drinking some cider that Applejack brought from the farm. It was from her secret stash she kept hidden. Applejack took out some mugs and gave each girl one full mug of cold cider.
"Cheers girls!!" Applejack shouted.
*Clank*
"Cheers!!" They all shouted clanking their mugs together.
They drank while they were watching wrestling. It was all fun and perfect. Well, there was about to be a problem. Lightning Dust was drinking a bit too much. Everyone else just drank two mugs and stopped. Lightning Dust drank five mugs and was on her sixth.
"Oh, you see that he's got the wrestler in a headlock!!" Rainbow Dash shouted getting excited watching the fight.
"Oh, he's about to flip him over!! That headlock ain't going to work now!!" Applejack shouted.
All the girls cheered. Fluttershy cheered the loudest surprising everyone. Lightning Dust, however, didn't cheer she got up and said: "Come on Rainbow Dash fight me!!"
"What?" Rainbow Dash said confused.
Lightning Dust was too intoxicated and wanted to fight. She grabbed Rainbow Dash and throw her on a table.
*Crash!!*
Making it break.
"Ow!! What's wrong with you Lightning!! Chill!!" Rainbow shouted.
Lightning relax." Twilight said.
"Uh oh." Pinkie said.
Lightning wasn't stopping and grabbed Rarity.
"Hey let me go!!" She shouted.
She threw her on Rainbow Dash.
"Oof!!"
Sunset tried to calm everyone down but
*Crack!!*
She was hit by a chair Lightning picked up.
"Ow!! Psycho!!" Sunset shouted,
Rainbow Dash had enough. She began fighting Lightning. Giving her blows to her stomach and to her face. Lightning still didn't stop she fought back. Fluttershy was now in the corner scared. Finally Lightning was about to charge right into Rainbow Dash with a headbutt but Rainbow moved to the side and Lightning.
*Crash!!! Zap!!!*
...Went right into the T.V.
Ouch. It was a double whammy for Lightning. Nurse Redheart explained what happened to Lightning.
"First of off, I'd like to point out that most bad deaths do happen when people are drunk. This lady was really drunk and when she ran into the T.V. head butting it the shattered glass ripped her face and embedded pieces into her face. Some went in her brain and that caused massive bleeding and if that wasn't enough her heart got a jolt of electricity from the severed wires. She was dead. No way she was going to survive that"
Lightning was unable to control herself and drank too much at this sleepover party. When she started fighting with everyone. She brought the sleepover party and herself to a dead stop.
"Om my gosh Lightning you okay!!" Rainbow shouted.
Instead of watching T.V. She is now on T.V on our show. Gee...Thanks for giving us another death on our list Lightning.
Way To Die #41: I'm ~~On~~ In Television
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Flash Sentry (Created by Speedy Silverstreak)
Date: June 29, 2016
Alright, everybody, you know Flash Sentry right. A good guy or a dick if you hate him. Well if you hate him he's going to die...And you're going to be happy he does. Flash as we all know loves his car. He loves it more than anything. Maybe a little too much. People have even heard rumors that he has some fun with the seats of his car by himself. A quick rub if you know what I mean. However, let's not talk about that and talk about one night. Flash was drag racing and winning.
"Yeah another win for me," Flash said getting out of his car talking to his friends. Hanging out with the girls and checking out girls bending over while working on cars. Drag racing was happening tonight and anyone who wanted to drag race got the scope and came to a secret hideout where you can show off your cars or face people off. There were many race tracks around this hideout. They started here but then end up outside where the police force can see them. Luckily there is a lookout man to warn them about those flashing lights. Now Flash was having a good night and was winning but there was one drag racer he really wanted to face... Speedy Silverstreak and his 68 Charger car.
Flash decided to provoke Speedy. "Your car is a pile of shit I can beat it with mine easily!!!" Flash shouted.
Speedy heard him and went up to him. A crowd began to surround them.
"Really. Then how about me and you have a little race on Racer Road."
When Speedy said that everyone gasped. There were many routes to choose from. Drift Lane, No Stoplights, and Bumper Lane. Racer Road had all of that packed into one route. However, Flash wasn't going to back down with this challenge.
"Okay, you and I will race on Racer Road," Flash said.
They got their cars ready and everyone was texting about the race and everyone was coming to the hideout. Once everyone was here and some people were waiting at some parts on the route with their cameras ready to film the race. Speedy and Flash got to the starting line. A girl took off her bra and threw it in the air. Once the bra hit the ground.
*Vroom!!!!!*
Speedy and Flash drove off with people cheering. Many people were filming and many people were streaming it and many people were watching it including the police. Once Speedy and Flash passed a police car drifting and going over 100mph the sirens on the police car blared. The police officer knew they weren't going to stop and called for more help.
"Red sirens!!!" A man shouted and gave everyone and the racer the heads up. People ran off. Speedy and Flash now need to lose the heat. Speedy escaped the heat easily but Flash was seriously in trouble. He crashed into many cars and he was going over 150mph now. He drove through fast food parking lot and made a sign being held up by a poll fall landing near police officers cars making them lose him. Flash thought he lost them but little that he knew awhile back his wheels ran through some spikes. He lost control and then...
"Woah Ahhh!!!!!"
*Crash!!!! Crack!!!!*
He went through his window and right into a wall. He wasn't wearing his seatbelt. What a rookie mistake. He crashed through the window and embedded many pieces of glass into his body and his head collided into a wall. He hit the wall so hard that it cracked his skull causing him to bleed out and die instantly.
Once the police caught up "Woah you think he's alive." A police officer said. Flash's car began to spark and flames came out...
*BOOM!!!!!!*
“If that didn’t kill him He probably is now.” The other police officer said.
Well, Flash and his car went lights out. Speedy won this race since he was the one that survived now Flash was on...The Highway To Hell. There he's dead Flash haters...Aren't you happy?
Way To Die #42: Buckle Up
Date: July 2, 2017
Welcome to Ponyville and Fluttershy's Cottage. You all know Fluttershy. She is the kindest pony ever. Not to mention she was the only pony able to reform Discord. Which is very surprising. We also know that she has many animals that she takes care off. Her favorite animal Angel Bunny who a big jer- I mean sweet angel. She had sweet animals. However, there was one animal everypony else was afraid to touch or even go near it without protection. Met Curler a Boa Constrictor. He was not so nice when Fluttershy found him wounded. Almost bit her but he finally trusted her and is well behaved. He now lives with her.He didn't eat any of her pets she got food for him.
Now let's get to the pony in the picture. His name is Smuggler. He sold many things on the black market. However, there was one thing that was selling a lot at the black market. Animals. Smuggler heard about Fluttershy and her cottage. He heard it had so many animals. Smuggler was going to steal all her animals and get rich in one day by selling all of them to whatever anypony wanted them for. How was he going to do it? He had a plant that can cause any animal to follow its scent and became pretty much hypnotized. He got it from the black market. He went to Ponyville and asked around to find out where Fluttershy lived. Once he found out where she lived. He stole some binoculars and headed to the cottage.
When He got there he wasn't looking at the animals she had. Instead, she was looking at her through the window. What Fluttershy was doing was one of her things she kept to herself. Pleasuring herself. She had a vibrator and was looking at mare and mare action on a computer she had.
"Oh fuck yes tear her marehole you slut!!!" She shouted at the screen. "Yes!!! Yes!!! I'm gonna cum!!!! Ahhhh!!!!"
As soon as she came Smuggler came himself by jerking himself off while listening to her. It was surprising nopony else came and heard her. Finally, once night came and Fluttershy fell asleep after making sure all her animals were okay. It was time for Smuggler to get to work. He went closer to the cottage very quietly making sure not to wake up any animal and of course Fluttershy. He opened the window and finally took out the plant. Once the scent hit the nose of the animals. They went and followed the scent. Smuggler had a knockout dart for the animals and some cages. He knocked them out one by one as they got trapped in the cages. Smuggler was going to be rich. Well emphasis on going to because he never did become rich because something bad was about to happen. The flower he using wasn't working on Curler. Curler saw what he was doing. He snuck up and wrapped himself all around his body.
"Hey what th- ach! ach!"
Curler coiled around Smuggler's neck and he couldn't shout for help. He tried to unwrap Curler around himself which just made Curler warp himself around him harder. Finally after two minutes of not breathing. Smuggler fell.
*Plop*
...And was dead. Finally, Fluttershy woke up the next day and saw what happened. She was shocked but when she saw Curler saved the day. She was happy. For lunch she gave Curler a big buffet...Smuggler on a hot steam plate.
Way To Die #43: Curl Up And Die
Date: June 9, 2012
It was the hottest day ever recorded in Ponyville. Ponies tried everything to stay cool. Turn the A.C on, turn on fans, open windows, and leave the refrigerator open. One night at the Mash's house Love Tap went to the refrigerator to do one thing that would keep her cool. Rubbing a popsicle stick all over her body.
However, she didn't know in the bushes a brown stallion was watching her. Meet Batter he was a great pony when playing baseball. However, he's now down in the dumps. He's been having a losing streak and the team he was on kicked him out. Now he has no money. He decided to steal and that's why he's at the Mash's house. Then he saw Love Tap and he loves the sight of her.
Love Tap moaned and stretched putting her flank in the air trying to figure out how to beat this heat. Batter stopped looking and decided he needed to steal now. It was easy since all the windows were open. Isn't that right Rainbow Dash.
"Okay so we have gotten complaints about making it too hot but it's what we have to do so other places can make crops grow. Most home invasions happen around this time in other places but not really in Ponyville. Stealing is very rare around these parts."
Batter got in easily but then he accidentally made a noise waking everypony up and the whole Mash family was up. Batter luckily was prepared for this he had a bat with him. He saw Love Tap coming after him so he
*Smack!!!!!!*
hit her on the head.
*Plop*
She fell down on the ground.
"Mom!!" Button and his brother Arcade shouted.
"Sweet heart!!" Firewall who was Love Tap's husband shouted.
"Stay back you fuckers unless you want to get killed as well!!!!" Batter shouted going in the other rooms.
Firewall saw that Love Tap wasn't breathing and performed CPR. Giving her mouth to mouth and pumping in the middle of her chest Button and his brother couldn't fight Batter with the weapon he had. All they did was watch their father hoping for the best for their mom. However, it was no good Love Tap was out. Her husband stopped and they all began to cry. Batter kept stealing stuff not caring.
Way To Die- Wait!!! I'm not done!!!
Love Tap all of a sudden got up. The whole family gasped. It's time you all learned something called Lazarus syndrome. What is that well it is rare. Only 38 cases have been reported in the world. When CPR is being performed it creates a tremendous amount of pressure within the heart and when CPR is terminated some of that pressure can get released. That can cause an electrical impulse to occur. That allows the heart to beat again.
Love Tap told everypony to be quiet. She went behind Batter grabbed his bat
*Smack!!!!!!*
Hit him from behind and he was...dead.
"Assassination and killed from the grave!!!!" Button shouted smiling.
The whole Mash family hugged each other happy that nopony died. Well except for Batter but who cares about him. No use on resurrecting you Batter...You striked out.
Way To Die #45: Right Bat Atcha
Author's Note
Sorry it took so long school is back and it's hell. I'll try to post as fast as I can but it will be pretty slow. Coming up the human world is here and Diamond Tiara is having fun with a fidget spinner. A bit too much. Then Maud has fun with Boulder.
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Diamond Tiara (Created by Speedy Silverstreak)
Date: May 23, 2017
Ahh, the new trend fidget spinners. You can feel your anxiety lessening less and less every time you spin it. Let the autism consume you. It helps people forget that they don't have any friends. As long as it keeps spinning everything is alright. These things are really big and everybody needs one. Many people in Canterlot High are buying one and also making them look cooler and amazing. Many students bring them to school and some dumb teachers take them away.
Diamond Tiara had many fidget spinners that were awesome. One was golden, some had glitter, and many amazing things that catch peoples attention. Now Diamond Tiara likes to show off a lot. Why is she like that well Human Twilight you know a lot about phycology why does Diamond Tiara crave so much attention.
"I think Diamond Tiara had Histrionic personality disorder it is characterized by a long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality. Someone with histrionic personality disorder wants to be the center of attention in any group of people, and they feel uncomfortable when they are not. While often lively, interesting, and sometimes dramatic, they have difficulty when people aren’t focused exclusively on them."
Diamond Tiara always wanted that attention and today she was going to get it with a new fidget spinner she had custom made. It had spikes on each end. Everybody was surprised. She showed it off to everybody. She did many tricks with it and decided to take it up a notch. She began throwing it in the air and grabbing it. She was doing great. Many people were watching her. Then all of a sudden Principal Celestia saw what the commotion was about and when she saw the fidget spinner she knew someone would get hurt. She ran outside to stop what was happening.
Everything was going fine and Silver Spoon was live streaming what was happening. Diamond threw the fidget spinner in the air again this would be the hundredth time and she was on fire. Then all of sudden she saw Button Mash walking up to school. She wouldn't admit it but she had a crush on him. She looked at him.
"Diamond look out!!"
Diamond looked up and
*Stab!!*
...The fidget spinner impaled her face...
"Ahhh!!!" Everyone shouted seeing the gruesome sight.
Principal Celestia came outside but was too late.
Ouch. Twilight since you're here tell us what happened to her.
"The fidget spinner impaled her face and went into her brain. That causes internal bleeding not to mention the brain stops working. It can't send any messages to the body and all the major organs shut down and...She was dead."
Well, what did we learn here? Stay focused and fidget spinners really are a good way to relieve stress. You know why. Take it from Diamond Tiara she had no stress because she is resting in peace...Forever.
Way To Die #46: Fidget Blender
Maud Pie (Created By Speedy Silverstreak)
Date: November 24, 2015
This isn't possible. She can't be related to Pinkie Pie. Well, I guess I can't argue with logic about the Pie Family. Anyways Maud Pie is Pinkie Pie's older sister. Believe it if you can. Anyways Maud really doesn't show much emotion. It's like whatever she does she had a simple bored look. Many people say even when she is in pain she has a bored look. She had some friends. Mostly it was just Pinkie and her friends. There was one friend she loved a lot. Boulder her very best friend.
She met Boulder while working on the rock farm owned by her parents. She loved him and took him everywhere she went. She moved in with Pinkie Pie and everything was fine. However, Maud had a secret. Everytime Pinkie went out with her friends Maud wouldn't go with her. It wasn't because she didn't want to come. It's because she literally wanted to cum. Once Pinkie Pie left she would go to her room, grab boulder, light some candles, put on some music, got on the bed, and had a good time with her rock Boulder. It was amazing for her.
"Yeah...Yeah, Boulder..Ohh..Yes!!" she shouted and then something shocking would happen she would smile. When she was in the mood she finally showed some emotion.
She would have fun with Boulder anytime Pinkie went out and she was alone. Now is this very healthy well let's ask Sweet Love. She is a Mare. Well, actually she's a changeling. She knows a lot about this stuff.
"Masturbation is actually very good for you. It's great and sweet. In fact, it helps when you get to do it with a real partner. Believe me, I know. However, you have to be careful when using an object. A vibrator is very safe just make sure to clean it. Using another object such as a carrot, some type of vegetable, or a rock you must be extremely careful because that can cause a problem."
What may be the problem? Well first let me tell you what happened one night Maud was having fun she was getting close to her orgasm as usual and Boulder had fun going in and out her Vagina.
"Yes!! Yes!! OHHHHH!!!! Right there!!! I'm about to AHHHHHH!!!!!" Her juices spilled and she had a great orgasm. Maud got dressed and pretended like nothing happen. She cleaned everything up and everything was fine.
However, something was wrong. She felt something in her vagina. What was the problem? Was Boulder not clean. No, he was. It was just that he was a bit too rough with this round of sex. Boulder accidentally cut Muad's vagina wall and that's not good. She began to breathe heavily and then with one final breath.
*Plop*
She fell to the ground...Dead. Sweet Love, you know a lot about the vagina what happen to Maud when she got cut.
"What would probably happen was when she tore her vaginal wall. Air got through the cut and that went up to heart and caused death. That's why you have to be careful when using those types of things to pleasure yourself. It's fine to pleasure yourself. If you're using rock be extremely careful."
Boulder you animal. You gave Maud the ride of her life. Nice work. Well, sort of...Poor Maud it was the ride of her life...The last ride of her life.
Way To Die #47: Rock Candy Love
Author's Note
Coming up we go back to Equestria and did you know drinking too much water is bad. Then Rarity has competition and her competition decides to work faster and very unsafe.
Date: April 3, 2011
"Of course I can model for you. For a Playpony magazine. Sure why not. I'll make sure many stallions buy that magazine. One sec." Flawless Diamond said talking to somepony on the phone.
Flawless Diamond was a beautiful model. Her secret was not cream or any other products. Those products did help her. Sure she used them. However, her big secret to making her look pretty was water. She drank so much water. Every single day. Water kept her hydrated and made her skin beautiful. Her mane was perfect as it was. Does anypony know about models? Well, we got Photo Finish here. She knows about models. She was a model herself before. Now Photo Finish tell us about models and hydration.
"A hydrated body is vundabor. However too much could be dangerous. Drinking eight bottles of water a day is a myth. It's too much. Still, less is not enough. You must get right in the middle and drink just the right amount to be a picture perfect pony. Enough! I go."
Uhhh...Thanks, Photo Finish. Anyways Flawless was modeling for playpony showing off her plot to the stallions taking pictures. She also was pleasuring herself and the stallions took pictures with tissues up their noses to catch the blood. Next was having fun with another mare. She had fun with another mare as they shared a dildo. Once the dildo was all they way in them they grinded their aching clits together.
Finally, after a hard day at work, she went out for a run. The more she ran the more she drank. She drank about 25 bottles today. That should be a record. She felt so good today. She was running so fast.
"Move it, slowpokes!!" Flawless shouted to other ponies and pushing them out of her way. Finally, somepony showed up to workout as well. Rainbow Dash. Flawless challenged Rainbow to a race. No wings just hooves. They ran and ran. Flawless took the lead and was about to win until.
"Agh!!!" Flawless felt a pain in her head. She tried to keep running but then...
*Plop*
She stopped and fell dead in her tracks.
"OH MY CELESTIA FLAWLESS!! HELP ANYPONY!!" Rainbow shouted for help.
Dear goodness what happened. Hey, Nurse Redheart you know what happened right.
"Flawless drank too much water and without time for electro light replenishment that causes swelling of the cells in the brain. The swelling is caused by the water which dilutes the salt that's normally in the bloodstream. The dilution causes water to be forced into the cells causing the cells to swell. That causes swelling in the brain which causes seizures, brain damage, or death."
Flawless was beautiful and she loved to work out. She definitely won the water drinking competition. At her funeral, her friends said she never looked so beautiful...Pain is Beauty.
Way to Die #48: Hydrate-Dead
Date: November 21, 2015
Ah dresses, everywhere. I don't really get it. Why are dresses such in big demand? Aren't we always naked? Eh whatever, let's talk about what we're really here to talk about. Meet Silk Hoof, she can make dresses that are beautiful and feel comfortable to wear. She had a shop in Ponyville. Every time it was closing time, she went to her bed put her face on the pillow and screamed.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
She was angry. She made dresses in Ponyville and that is bad because you have a strong competition. That competition is Rarity. She was a good dressmaker and made dresses faster and better than Silk Hoof. Silk Hoof hated her. She thought Rarity was a bitch. Well, she had a plan. Sneak inside Rarity's place and destroy her clothes. However, before she would, she still had a whole day ahead of her. She was in a bad mood.
She went to the grocery store. She was going to return some stuff but there was one problem.
"Umm, ma'am these items have obviously been used." The manager said when she gave the items to him.
"No, they haven't asshole!!" She said kicking the manager and went to go buy groceries.
She bumped into ponies. Hit carts with her own cart. She would also steal somethings. Eat some of the food right off the shelves. She was completely out of control. Then she saw Rarity. She smiled and made Rarity drop her groceries.
"Oh I'm so sorry Rarity it was an accident."
"It's alright dear. None of it got on me at least." Rarity said.
Silk Hoof smiled she couldn't wait until tonight. When night came Silk Hoof snuck inside the Boutique and she had a spray paint can, and some other tools to mess with Rarity's things. She was very quiet and began spray painting her dresses. Most of them she sprayed orange. Then she started messing with her machines. She unscrewed things here and there. Then she saw a scarf that was ocean blue and had a great design. She decided to keep it. Then she saw a machine that she knew. It was the sewing machine 5000. It was amazing and she decided to mess with it. She unscrewed things here and there. However, by accident, she turned it on and her scarf got caught. The scarf got wrapped around the sewing machine. Silk Hoof tried to turn it off but the off button wouldn't work anymore.
"HE- AGH!!" She couldn't scream because she was being choked. Oh dear. After thirty seconds of struggling and trying to breathe. She gave out and was...Dead.
The next day Rarity woke up she saw Silk Hoof. "AHHHHH SILK HOOF OH MY CELESTIA!!!" She fainted.
Ohh poor Silk Hoof. Heh talk about getting caught in your own work...Get it...Oh come on that was funny.
Way To Die #49: Art of Death
Author's Note
Coming Up Luna is captured by a cult that think she is still Nightmare Moon. That cult is stupid and stupid meets death. Then a mare goes crazy during heat season.
Author's Note
The picture won't show on the phone you have to see it on your computer. Sorry, it took so long my life is not good right now. Up next its heat season and this mare want's some.
Solar Burst
Date: May 1, 2013
Now everypony have you ever heard of The Solar Cult. Probably not since the princesses try to keep it a secret. We got a top secret death here. Anyways The Solar Cult was a simple clan that always believed in Princess Celestia. No other princesses. Just her. They hated the others. However, the one they hated the most was Princess Luna. They thought Princess Luna was Nightmare Moon just in disguise. They didn't think the elements of harmonies did anything. One night the Solar Cult snuck past the guards caught Luna and put tape over her mouth so she couldn't scream and tied her up. They put machines in her wings and horn so she couldn't use them.
They led her to the underground base of The Solar Cult. There was their leader pleased to see who they captured. The Leaders name was Solar Burst.
"Well. Well. Well. Look who it is Nightmare Moon." He ripped the tape off her mouth and smiled.
"Ow!! What is thou doing to us!! Release us at once!!" Luna shouted.
"I can't do that Nightmare Moon. Not before the ritual."
Finally a couple of hours later Luna was tied to the ground in a room with no ventilation. Solar Burst put a picture of a sun under her and began burning incense and coal. He began chanting as well. "Nightmare be gone. Evil Away." He chanted.
Princess Luna decided that she had to wait until the guards notice she was stolen. They would look for her now all she can do is mess with Solar Burst. "We feel nothing. Thou is doing nothing."
NIGHTMARE BE GONE!!! EVIL AWAY!!!" Solar Burst shouted burning more incense and coal. Bad idea.
The incense was releasing a toxic fume called benzopyrene. Coal we all know gives off deadly carbon monoxide. the combination of the two gasses was killing Solar Burst slowly. He began coughing violently.
*COUGH!!! COUGH!!!* "Nightmare be go-" *COUGH!!! COUGH!!!*
It made him light-headed and unable to think rationally. Solar Burst should have left the room. Instead he...
*Plop*
Fell and died because of lack of oxygen. Hey, Twilight what happened exactly.
"Carbon monoxide is a gas and when the body breaths it in it combines with the major molecules that carry oxygen to the body and blocks it from carrying oxygen. So the body is essentially asphyxiating and it's only a matter of minutes when your brain will experience neuroethics levels of low oxygen and that can result in death. However, Luna caught a break and thank goodness she did you see there was a layer of fresh air low to the ground and she could breathe."
Thanks, Twilight. Well, Solar Burst tried to cleanse Luna.
"Hello is thou okay. Oh, my word." Luna said looking at Solar Burst's dead body.
He killed himself. Finally, the guards found Luna and set her free and arrested the rest of the cult. Ponies say if your loyal to this cult all the way to death you'll go to a place called Valhalla. Well then...Welcome to Valhalla Solar Burst.
Way To Die #50: Loyal Even In Death
Author's Note
Forgive me if I wrote something wrong and it doesn't make sense I'm working on another story while doing this also I was using my i-pad. Coming up a pony works with anvils but dies in a strange way. Then Princess Celestia really loves cake and that may be a problem.
Brown Sugar
Date: July 13, 2012
You know Ponyville is a great place. Except when heat season comes. Every single stallion is hiding and every mare is looking for a stallion to have sex to get rid of the burning sensation they have. Some mares were furiously stroking their hoofs against their vulvas. Moans were escaping mares mouths with each quiver of their sex, gradually becoming louder and louder.
“Oh, Oohhh, OOOHH!” Who's that screaming? Well, it's Daisy, as she reaches her orgasm. Rubbing herself. Her fluids erupted from her exposed nethers, coating her legs and the alley floor she was in. The scent of her sex became heavy in the air with the rest of the sex in the air.
Heat season is in full swing. One mare however, is different and is walking through the streets like a simple day. Meet Brown Sugar. She already had sex about five times already. My word. She sure has a lot of stamina. Brown Sugar was a sex blogger. First, she would bone. Then she would blog. Her sex blog was called Under The Covers. She just had sex with Thunderlane. Now she is typing about it.
He was soft so if you're looking for one that is soft. You should go with Thunderlane. His length I would say...Average.
Now does anypony know stuff about sex blogging? Well, we got a pony that many of you may know. Blossomforth. She knows a lot about sex blogging.
"Sex blogging has probably been around as long as blogging has been around. We rate stallions on duration, sexual attractiveness, and of course size. You can compare your partners to desserts. Like one stallion may be like banana cream pie which is nice and sweet and some mares want that every day. One could be like a lemon meringue pie which is bittersweet and some mares want that too. It's not just for mares. Some stallions blog about mares. I've gotten blogged about how flexible I am."
Thanks, Blossomforth. Brown Sugar was about to get it on with Feather Bangs a stallion that just moved here to Ponyville. Man her sixth stallion today. However, before they started they were going to take something called quaaludes. What is that well we have a pony that wants to remain anonymous that knows what that is.
"Quaaludes are a pill that is a muscle relaxant that is legal and doesn't hurt you. If you use it right. It's usually called leg spreaders because mares don't show themselves. Being a mare myself I don't present myself but then when I take it I don't know what comes over me but I just have to present myself. It's an amazing feeling not to mention it helps the orgasm and stamina of the mare and stallion it's a win-win."
Thank you. You know you sound like Rari- eh it doesn't matter. Anyways as they took the quaaludes the pill took its effect. Brown Sugar was wanting to present herself and was getting wet while Feather Bangs was getting hard and was ready.
Feather Bangs decided he would pleasure her as she pleasured him. Feather Bangs went up to her and put his member right close to her face and he was looking at her teats. Brown Sugar gasps in surprise, gazing up at the length resting on the tip of her nose. She smiles coyly, gently licking the flat head, letting her breath brush over it as she moves along it.
Feather's pride twitches mightily. After he gathers himself, he focuses on the two perky mounds right in front of him. He sticks out his tongue and swirls it on and around her nipples.
She squeals in pleasure, her back arching, pushing her chest against his. Not to be outdone, she tilts her head back and pushes herself even further on his pride, shallowly bobbing along it as her tongue continues to lick as much of it as possible.
He shivers, the vibrations going all the way down to his length to add to the pulses already going through it with each beat of his heart. Deciding to try and ignore her increasingly pleasurable actions, he instead locks his lips around one of the teats and gives it a suck.
She cries out in bliss, her mouth relinquishing its hold on him as she does so. She moans quietly, wrapping her forelegs around his hips and pulling him closer, tenderly kissing and nuzzling his length and the orbs right behind it, having a little difficulty breathing from the tremors going through her body.
He sucks on the teat another moment before letting it go with a lick. Of course, he's not giving her a break, he switches to the other one.
She pauses her ministrations, cooing softly. "Oh fuck yes!!!" She nips the inside of his thigh before stretching slightly, pulling just the underside of his base into her mouth and sucking gently, putting a hoof up to hold his pouch away from her horn, just to be careful.
He grunts as his thighs squeeze in reflexive movement. Meanwhile, he continues focusing on her teats, sucking on one then the other in repetitive motions.
Brown Sugar whimpers, finding it harder and harder to focus on giving him pleasure, so lost she is in the bliss she's receiving. She doesn't want to disappoint him, though. Forcing herself to work through the haze. She quickly licks the flare of his pride, teasingly tracing around the head as her hooves roll and massage his orbs.
The clenching of his muscles all around and in his orbs and length shows her his appreciation. He actually comes up panting from his work on her teats as he looks back at her. "I see... you're getting... creative... want me to start working on the main event down here?"
"Yes!!!" Brown Sugar shouts and goes back to work.
Feather also goes right to work. He leans down and delivers a kiss to her flower. He licks his lips afterwards.
She whines, her hindlegs pushing her hips up, attempting to press her slit back against those soft lips. She pants softly, her breath caressing his wet pride as she tenderly kisses and strokes it, her tail flicking anxiously underneath her.
He squirms as she continues making noises, his length twitching with every sound she makes. As her hips rise, he smiles as he delivers a feather-light kiss to the nub at the top of her treasure.
She cries out in pleasure, her legs trembling as she tries to keep herself up. She moves more frantically over his shaft, feeling her climax approaching and wanting him to have his first. She holds the feeling back as best as she can. Feather Bangs is now about to reach his orgasm now. He can't hold and he is the first to cum right in Brown Sugar's mouth. As Brown Sugar gushes in his mouth. They both let out a sigh on bliss.
A few hours later Brown Sugar is blogging about it. However, she feels a bit weird. She doesn't let it get to her so she decides to do her mane with her curling iron. She feels her legs giving out.
"Agh whats wrong with me. You know what who cares" She said smiling a little woozy.
She began to lose vision and then
*Plop!! Szzzzzz!!*
She falls and something is sizzling. She fell and the curling iron was right on her neck. How did this happen? Rari- I mean the anonymous pony can tell us.
"You shouldn't use Quaaludes more than three times a day. You will be fine after a couple of times you do that but for an extended time, you use more then three you will pass out and also it can mess up your sex life permanently."
This was bad however, the thing more important then Brown Sugar's sex life was the curling iron on her neck sizzling and burning the skin right off.
the next day another stallion came to have some fun. He saw her on the ground and when he flipped her over he saw Brown Sugar was to burnt out. Literally.
"Oh, Shit!!! I'm out of here!!!" He shouts running off.
Hey, Nurse Redheart tell us the diagnosis of this death.
"When she passed out she was in a state of anesthesia. She passed out and fell on a hot curling iron. She fried her neck where there was so much destruction of the tissue that air could not get into her lungs and she suffocated. She was dead."
Brown Sugar was sexually addicted and loved to blog. However, she overdid it so many times. That the sex god said she had enough and it was time for her to go. To all you mares out there pleasure yourselves. Or you'll end up like Brown Sugar...Oh well, thanks for your death...Right on our list.
Way To Die #51: Sexuality...Actually Fatality
Anvil Hanger (Created by FoxVillain321)
Date: August 1, 2011
Welcome to this anvil factory in Canterlot. Now mostly unicorns work here. However, there is one earth pony with a cutie mark for an Anvil. Meet Anvil Hanger his special talent is hanging anvils. Yeah, not the best special talent he hates it too. He works here at this anvil factory. He's actually the manager. He may have quit this job but one thing he liked about this job was...Messing with his co-workers.
He would usually scare them or play them with a game called chicken. It was his past time. He would scare them at bad times.
He was sneaking up behind one of his co-workers which was a unicorn. "Raghhh!!!"
"Gah!!" he scared him making him lose concentration drop the anvil breaking the floor a bit.
Anvil Hanger laughed and began working again. Everypony hated him so they decided one day to get even. One day they decided to play chicken during their break time with him. They had something plan. Anvil Hanger was the champion at chicken.
"Alright, guys I got something we can do. Let's play chicken." One of the employees said.
When Anvil heard that he joined the rest of the group. Now how do you play chicken? Well, we have the championship winner in Ponyvillle of chicken right here. Scootaloo.
"First I'm not a chicken...I hate when ponies call me that. The game chicken is simple it's like a dare. It's knowing how much pain or whatever you can withstand. Whoever withstands it the most is the winner. Whoever doesn't is chicken and they have to act like a chicken for a day. I remember when I beat Diamond Tiara. When she acted like a chicken for a whole day. It was hilarious."
"Today Anvil Hanger was going to get a surprise from his employees. They would start easy and do a dare that they made sure he would lose and hopefully get hurt by. They started with anvil lifting, holding their breaths, and you know your normal stuff for chicken. Finally, it was time for the big test.
"Alright Anvil we are gonna light up some firecrackers hold it in our mouths and see who spits out their's last."
Now that was crazy but what Anvil didn't know was that all the firecrackers were made by the employees to not explode because the string that they would light would stop just in time so they wouldn't explode.
Finally, they got all together lit their firecrackers up and then came who would win this game of chicken...Finally, after fifteen seconds many employees spit it out to make it seem believable but then something strange happened the firecrackers were popping. The employees accidentally messed up their plan. They all began to spit out their firecrackers Anvil was last and spit out his behind and began to gloat.
"Ha chickens!!!"
However, where he spit it an employee put a knife to cut open some boxes. The firecracker went
*BOOM!!!*
"Woah hey, Anvil watch out!!" An employee shouted.
Anvil turned then
*Stab*
The knife stabbed him on the right side of his chest. Hey, it's okay did you know you could survive that hit. It was in his body but if he didn't pull out the knife and head to the emergency room he would maybe end up okay. Anvil there's hope. However, Anvil began spitting out blood.
"Bagh. Bagh."
"Oh shit!!" All the employees shouted. I'm confused what happened. It's time we learned about something called Dextrocardia. Twilight explain to us what this does to you.
"Dextrocardia is a rare heart condition in which your heart points toward the right side of your chest instead of the left side. Dextrocardia is congenital, which means people are born with this abnormality. Nothing bad happens to you if you have it but that's not the case for Anvil. The knife went inside his heart. The heart can no longer pump blood to the organs and he spat out his blood so he died a very painful death instead of instantly dying."
Anvil was a jerk and the anvils above wouldn't do him in. So a knife with speed did it instead. Hey, Anvil ever heard of a pyrrhic victory? It's when you win the battle but lose the war...Dumb ass.
Way To Die #52: Chicken Brain
Author's Note
Finally got one done. I hate school. Up next this pony dresses like Santa is naughty. Then Celestia lay off the sweets or death will come knocking on your door.
Author's Note
I got new ideas thanks to fans and i'm back now enjoy this holiday death. EpicCartoonsFan made the art. I made the death. Coming up Celestia lay off the cake at this holiday party.
Scammer
Date: December 1, 2013
It was almost close to Christmas and inside the mall. Not a creature was stirring except two hot girls and a stoner Clause. Alright enough with the rhyming. Meet Scammer he was dressed as Santa Clause for money. The mall was closed and everyone was about to leave. Scammer was just doing what he loved to do. Playing with two hot elves.
Rarity was a hot elf with a short skirt that showed her ass as she picked up presents. Scammer loved the view as he smoked another cigarette. The other hot elf was Sunset Shimmer. Scammer got a bit grabby with Rarity and lifted her skirt.
"What on earth are you doing!!" She shouted.
Sunset came to the rescue and slapped Scammers hand away. "If you put your filthy fingers on her again I'm getting the manager."
Why is being Santa Clause a great job? Well, we got a fake Santa Clause here named Big Mac.
"......"
Big Mac, you have to talk. No Eeyup or Nope.
"......"
That's it get your sister Applejack here to explain.
"Being Santa can make over 100 bucks an hour. Where a veteran Santa can make 175 to 200 bucks an hour. If Santa works 40 hours a week during the holiday season that's about 10,000 dollars right there. It helps our farm. Right, Big Mac."
"Eeyup"
Alright. Anyways Scammer was making good money. He usually scammed people but he decided to take another path for Christmas. Anyways he was having a nice time with his assistants. A bit too much. However, all he did now and then was get stoned. Touch Rairty and Sunset Shimmer's asses.
They told the Mall Manager and he got furious.
"I had enough complaints!! You're also smoking!! That's it!! You know what you're fired!! Get out of here!!"
"Oh come on." Scammer begged.
The Mall Manager left to his office that was outside and it was snowing outside. Scammer followed him and the Manager locked his door. Scammer began banging on it. Bad idea. You see there were icicles hanging from the door. He banged on the door more and more. Then one icicle feel. Scammer looked up and...
*Stab!!*
One stabbed him right in the eye. Yikes, are icicles that dangerous. Well, Rainbow Dash you're got with weather and good at sports so tell us are icicles that dangerous.
"The key to an icicle is the fact that when water refreezes it releases heat and that drips down creating an icicle. They are dangerous. I've seen people get injured by icicles. They may look nice but they aren't something to be messed with. They can grow up to be 100 feet long. Now don't tell anyone I'm good with weather and get A's in that class. I don't want people thinking I'm an egghead."
Right. Well, The Manager finally came out and saw the sight.
"Oh, Shit!!!"
Scammer was a bad Santa Clause. No doubt about that. Merry Christmas to all. And thank god he got stabbed.
Way To Die #53: Eye-Sick Kill
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Princess Celestia (Created by Speedy Silverstreak)
Date: December 13, 2016
"Mmmmm cake."
It's the middle of the night and you hear that voice in the kitchen. That's Princess Celestia not sticking to her diet that her doctor told her to stick to. Her addiction was cake. It's close to Hearth's Warming and that means a lot of sweets including cake. Hey, Colgate, you know about sugar and how it's addictive tells us about it.
"Sugar is a Toxic ingredient. No joke. Not many ponies know but they put in ingredient in it that makes it addictive. Before the tobacco companies even put ingredients to make their products addictive sugar was at the top. It also gives you so many cavities if you don't brush their teeth. I've meet Celestia and her teeth are fine so she brushes them each day. I'm not sure about her heart though and all that cake."
Well, Princess Celestia went to the doctors one day for a checkup The doctor told her to lay off the cake. To Celestia that meant instead of 5 cakes a day just eat 4. No matter what she did her sweet tooth called and she ate cake every day. Hearth's Warming was around the corner and that meant Canterlot Castle was going to hold a party.
Princess Celestia couldn't wait for more cake during the party. However, her sister Princess Luna had decided to take care of her sister's cravings and decided that she would only allow her sister to eat one slice of cake.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M GOING TO ONLY BE ABLE TO EAT ONE SLICE OF CAKE AT THE PARTY!!!!" Celestia shouted at her sister in her Royal Canterlot Voice.
"Sister the doctor said no cake at all. You're lucky I'm giving you one slice at this party." Luna said.
That didn't cut it for Celestia. The night of the party Celestia ate a slice in front of Luna and then went to the kitchen to get more. However, Twilight who was also at the party went too go look for her. When she got to the kitchen she heard noises.
"Mmmm yes delicious," Celestia said while stuffing her face full of cake.
Twilight opened the kitchen door and saw Celestia with a piece of cake in her mouth.
"Princess!! I thought Luna only said you can only have one slice of cake!!" Twilight shouted shocked.
Celestia grabbed another piece and ran off. She ate the piece she took then all of a sudden.
"Agh!!" Princess Celestia felt a pain in her chest. She was having a heart attack. Also, she was near a set of stairs she fell and took a tumble and...
*Crack!!*
If the heart attack didn't kill her the fall sure did. It was a double whammy.
"Princess Celestia!!! Somepony help!!!" Twilight shouted for help.
Princess Celestia had to much cake and that resulted in a heart attack. She was already dead and if that didn't do her in falling off the stairs would have. She fell cracking her skull and bleeding out from her head. She lost liters of blood and was dead. Mother of Celestia. I guess she's meeting her mother right now...Would you like another slice of cake Celestia...It's to die for.
Way To Die #54: Another Slice Of Death
Director's Cut (Created by grl6p)
Date: July 17th, 2015
"Oh, we love the world. It's so beautiful right Sister Shara."
"You're right Brother Prayer."
You hear those two talking not having a care in the world sitting around a campfire in the Everfree well let me tell you what they are. They are a religious camping group. Many members joined but they went home since they learned the ways of Faust. Only one pony was left. Director's Cut. A mare that was bored out of her mind.
She was forced to go on this camping trip by her parents. They sang many songs that Prayer was playing on his sweet classical guitar.
"Any requests Director?" Prayer asked.
"Any Rage Against the Machine songs?" She asked.
Of course, instead of that they just sang another song about Faust and the world. Now I don't know how these groups work but we got a pony named Sister Era here that can tell us.
"There are 100 camps that can minister many youths every summer. Some of these youths have already accepted the truth while others need a little push in their life. By attending camp we can give them that help."
Directors Cut didn't like this camping trip. She would rather be home doing whatever she wanted. However, there was one thing she brought with her to spice things up on this camping trip. When supper came she would spice it up with several milligrams of ecstasy.
When Brother Prayer and Sister Shara left for a bathroom break Director get to work spiced up the food and sat back smiling knowing this night was about to get good.
"Dear Faust thank you for this food now let's eat." Prayer said.
Five minutes later the ecstasy started to kick in.
"I feel amazing like really amazing," Sister Shara said.
"Whoa-oh yeah me too." Brother Prayer said.
"Oh, this is so much fun," Director said.
The drug took effect and they began to dance around the fire and eat as much as they could and play with each other as well. All three of them went in a tent and made it move back and forth. Prayer was having a great time and so were Shara and Director.
It was a good night. Then Prayer smashes a guitar near the campfire. Director was a bit too close to that action. Director chokes on the soot that is blown in her face. She grabs a nearby Thermos and gulps its contents. Bad idea.
*Sizzle!!!*
You hear that sizzle that is Director's throat reacting to what she just drank. She didn't know that the thermos was filled with leftover hot water from the campfire that was boiled earlier in the night. Oh dear, that's not good. Hey, Nurse Red Heart what is she gonna feel with that going down her throat.
"When the mare was disinhibited by the drugs she was on and she took a swig of the boiling water her natural response to spit it out wasn't present and she caused burns in the back of her throat and epiglottis. She burned it which made it swell up. That would block her airway. She would then lose consciousness and soon she would die in about 5 to 15 minutes.”
Director was coughing trying to breathe.
*Cough!! Cough!!*
Then she gave up and...
*Plop*
Was on the ground...Dead. Finally, after the drug effects left Prayer and Shara's body. They realized Director was on the ground dead. They did the only thing they could do.
"Let us pray." Brother Prayer said and Sister Shara followed.
Director wanted to have fun tonight and had an idea with ecstasy. However. when she was about to see Faust. Director went to meet her...Face to face.
Way To Die #55: Therm-Assed
Author's Note
Coming up a pony realizes it's not a good idea to try and hack Button Mash. Then New Year's is close and what comes up must come down.
Date: December 25, 2016
Well, look who we have here. A pony living in a home that's full of trash and garbage. Everypony meet Code Cracker. He was a disgusting mess and had junk food all over his house. It was Hearth's Warming Day and he didn't care. He had no friends. Except his electronics.
You see. Code Cracker is a hacker and can hack many things. That's how he had fun every day. Hack websites to get free things. Hack gaming accounts to get gamers stuff, There was one other thing he could hack. His heart. Using a pacemaker he had placed in his heart he hacked it which made his heart rate go any way he pleased. How did he get that machine and how did he pay for the surgery? He stole someponies credit card. Bought the machine and paid for the surgery and didn't get caught.
"We're going in!!! To the heart drive!!! Hahaha!!!" Code Cracker said laughing.
Now he could jack up his heart rate.
"61...160...168...Yeah!!!"
Or slow it down to a crawl.
"Oh so peaceful."
It felt so good.
He stopped playing with his heart and began to hack gamers who got games today and were enjoying them and getting many things for Code Cracker to steal. He got on his computer and began hacking PonyStation 4's.
In the Mash's house, Button Mash was playing a new game online that he got. Then all of a sudden his screen started to mess up. It wasn't anything new to him. He knew it was a hacker. That was bad right. Not for Button Mash. His father Firewall gave him a powerful wireless controller so he could hack the hackers that hacked him back. He turned the wireless controller on and got a signal from where the hack was coming from. However, it wasn't Code Cracker's computer signal he got though. It was his pacemaker...Uh oh. Button Mash saw the pacemaker's controls come up on his screen while his game was on the screen as well. He found it weird what he usually saw was the hacker's profile to mess with so they would leave him alone or something else different. He shrugged and began messing with it by pressing the buttons on his controller. Making the pacemaker go fast.
"Oh..Oh...Ow, Wait!!!" Code Cracker said.
Or slow.
"Oh, pretty colors.."
Back to fast.
"AHHH!!!"
Trying to see what was going on with his pacemaker. He saw it was going fast and slow. He realized it was getting hacked. He tried to turn it off but he was out of control and couldn't concentrate. He vision began to get blurry. He was in deep shit now. "AHHHH!!! SHIT!!!." Finally, his heart went so fast and so slow Code Cracker's heart stopped. "AGH!!!"
*Crack!! Plop*
He grabbed his computer and pacemaker making them fall and break and he fell as well and was...Done for. Button Mash saw the hacking stopped and he went back to playing his game with his other controller. Hey Firewall what happened here.
"The Wireless controller sent out a signal that the pacemaker interpreted to speed up or slow down. His heart I think what I've heard from doctors went into...Ventricular...Fibrillation. I think that's what it's called. Which is serious and caused Irregular Contractions. Which made him go into cardiac arrest. He was screwed."
Code Cracker was a hacker. Who hacked his own ticker. Then a gamer took over and his ticker went quicker and slower. The gamer won and Code Cracker...Got owned.
Way To Die #56: Hack Attack
Date: January 1, 1999
It's New Year's and everypony is at Card Master's house having a party. An ice cooler full of beer, food, and fireworks, However, Card Master is on the ground dead with a hole in his shoulder and blood coming out from his chest. With a mare shouting for help. What happened. Well Like I said a party was going on. Which means fun right. Well, fireworks and alcohol aren't a good combination. Everypony at the party was getting as drunk as they could and lightning fireworks as well. That's a bad combination already. Idiot alert!! A lot of them got burned badly. Except for Card Master
Card Master was drinking as much as he could and was lighting fireworks as well. He wasn't getting burn though. He couldn't wait until midnight. Now I understand New Years is a good day but you shouldn't overdo it. Right Pinkie.
"I love to party a lot. Everypony knows that but you also have to be careful. Saftey first. I mean you don't see me firing my party cannon all willy nilly...Well...Actually...Uhh...I gotta go!"
Right...Anyways. Card Master began doing some magic tricks to impress the mares that were already a bit drunk. He was doing his usual card tricks. To be honest Card Master wasn't a magician. He was a scammer that usually scammed ponies for their money with card games. His magic tricks stunk and he was doing them wrong and failing. However, most of the mares were too drunk and loved it. Finally, he got a mare to have fun with. They were having a good time and the mare asked him if he wanted to have fun inside.
"Hang on let me do one thing first."
Now all you stallions out there. Don't reject the booty call. Card Master took out a gun and shot a stray bullet from his pistol into the air to celebrate New Years next to the entrance of his house. He went to go get another beer from the cooler and the mare was getting impatient. Finally, after two minutes it was New Years. Card Master was ready for that mare's booty. Just in time, she was about to leave him. They were about to go inside to have fun. They were about to enter the entrance if his house until...
*Smack!*
"AH!!!!"
Card Master felt a sharp sting on his shoulder
"Are you okay?" The mare asked
Then his chest started to bleed and he fell to the ground...dead.
"OH, MY CELESTIA SOMEPONY HELP!!!!"
What happened. Well, the bullet that Card Master shot came back down and hit Card Master in the shoulder. It went through his shoulder and pierced his heart, killing him...Ouch. Hey, Shining Armour you know about weapons how powerful was that bullet.
"It was a simple pistol and a bullet. When the bullet was shot It would go up about a mile in the air. It will have a velocity of about 2000 feet per second It would take about two minutes to come back down. When it's coming back down it's going to reach terminal velocity. That pony was standing were he shot it. He stood there at the wrong time."
Well, what have learned about this death? When a mare asks if you want to have fun. Say yes. Don't be like Card Master...He didn't even make it to the 21st century.
Way To Die #57: Nite Capped
Author's Note
I need to take a break Christmas is coming and my family is going through troubled times. I'm a bit depressed. Life isn't really good for me right now. I don't feel like writing for awhile.
Date: June 17, 2009
Well, look at this jackass.
"Yes, I Brain Mixer have created a death ray!!!"
Everypony this is Brain Mixer. He loved pulling wings off flies. He creates machines that destroy anything in its way. Mostly insects. He could have gone to college but decided to just make weapons that killed. Now that he has matured nicely into a geeky antisocial misfit. He still wants to kill things. Just like his name, his Brain was a mix-up.
"This is going to be killer!!" Brain Mixer shouted.
The homemade mad scientist came up with a design for a solar ray. He called it a Death Ray. This would put the burn on anything he aimed it at.
"I am Prometheus and I give you fire!!"
Using a parabolic dish covered with heavy-duty tinfoil the sun's rays would focus into a lazer light beam of destruction.
"Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!!" Brain Mixer laughed like the mad scientist he was.
Finally, he waits until high noon since he knew the Pegasi were going to clear all the clouds and the sun would be scorching at that time. He decides to test out his weapon on top of his apartment building.
He starts out with a toy soldier dressed liked Shining Armour that when put in the machine's path quickly goes into meltdown.
"Yeah!! How do you like that Queen Chrysalis are you pleased!!"
Then the twisted scientist turns it against the insect world. He kills the grasshoppers on the roof and the butterflies he could find. It was doomsday for these insects. Then a visit from a curious neighbor decides to see what he's doing.
"Hey buddy what's this?" He asked.
"Oh just put your hoof right there it feels good." Brain Mixer tries to trick the neighbor to put his hoof in the machine's path.
The neighbor falls for it and gets burnt. "Ow!!"
"You're so stupid." Brain Mixer said laughing.
"Dick face!!" The neighbor shouted leaving.
All this burning and killing has made Brain Mixer hungry and he puts a bean can on the machine to burn.
"Yeah!! Burn you-!!"
*BAM!!!*
"AHHH!!!!"
The can exploded in his face knocking Brain Mixer out.
*Sizzle!!!!*
What's that sizzling noise? Something smells like something is burning...Oh, it's Brain Mixer. His head landed in the path of his machine and the back of his head was getting burnt. The sun made the machine have a scorching sunbeam that went up to 6000 degrees. Now that Brain Mixer is in its path it was like running a molten piece of steel. Right through his brain.
After two minutes it exploded his arteries and destroyed a fatal amount of brain tissue. Looks like he killed himself
Brain Mixer thought killing things was fun. But in the end. We got to have all the fun...Watching him die.
Way To Die #58: Brain Dead
Allen (Created by BlueCuddlePonyGhost)
Date: October 21, 2017
"Oh, your so cute I could hug all of you all day."
Alright everypony this is Allen. He lives in a log cabin in Whitetail Woods. He lives alone. Well not really. He had plushie dolls to keep him company. He loved his cute plushie dolls of ponies...A lot. I understand they are cute but Allen has an addiction to them. He has many dolls still in the boxes and ones he loved to hug. He had wonderbolts, princesses, and rare ones. You name it he had them. He also dressed as a ghost for some reason. Okay, this pony is just a weirdo. he had a huge collection. He had over two hundred dolls.
"Daddy will be back soon." He said going to Ponyville to get food.
He needs to eat right. Well, he bought food for him and his plushie dolls. He had food for him and them. He had a playset. Okay, what is wrong with this stallion. It's cute when little fillies and colts do it but this stallion is out of whack. I mean Maud has Boulder but this guy is just taking things way to far. He also would have sex with his princesses dolls. His favorite one to do it with was Twilight. Hey, Twilight whats up with this pony.
"This stallion has Agalmatophilia. It is a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or another similar figurative object. This stallion pretty much didn't talk to real ponies. He just spends all his days locked in his log cabin all by himself. Him dressing as a ghost...I have no clue. Wait! Did you say he has sex with a plushie doll of m-"
Thanks, Twilight. Agalmatophilia. Hey, that reminds me of another death on our list. However, that was in the human world. Allen was out of control. One night he was cuddling with his dolls in his bed dressed as a ghost under the bed sheets. He was playing with thirty of them. Then Celestia's horn decided to get stuck on a piece of the bed sheet that was around Allen's neck.
*Agh!!*
Allen realizes what's happening. He tries to grab Celestia but falls over a doll. Then Twilight's horn grabs on another piece of a bedsheet stopping Allen's hoof and the rest of his bedsheets he already has on the bed tangle him up. Allen is screwed. Then Allen remembers he had scissors in his drawer. He tries to reach. Finally after three minutes of struggling. His eyes turning red. Not being able to scream for help.
*Ack!!!!*
Allen is dead. Allen had a problem. He loved dolls a bit too much. He collected them. The dolls were scared of him and how he loved them so much. Decided to take care of him. Now Allen is apart...Of our death set.
Way To Die #59: Collec-Dead
Author's Note
Coming up we got two ponies that like to have sex anywhere and anytime. Then. Hey, Trixie, I know Hoofdini may seem invincible. But he isn't
Date: February 14, 2010
Bass and Piercer were your average couple in love. They went to the movies, took long walks, and they had hot kinky sex. Only problem they got it on in public. These hedonistic horndogs were hardcore exhibitionists that like to get it on in public bathrooms, behind a dumpster, alleyways, and even behind a shop called Electric. A unicorn named Electric owned it. He didn’t really care though. If nopony saw them then it didn’t affect his business. Piercer loved it so much. Every time they were done Piercer would have her pierced tongue lolling out and Bass would be spent.
Bass, however, one day bought something from a sex shop owned by a changeling to add a little more punch to their sex life. He bought something called The Prince Albert also known as the Prince’s Wand. Hey, Sweet Life, you’re a sexy changeling and you told us a lot about sex toys before. What’s this thing do?
"The Prince's Wand or Prince Albert is a piece of body piercing jewelry. It consists of a hollow tube with a threaded cap at the end. Prince's wands require precision measurements of the penis and urethra both flaccid and erect, in addition to the original Prince Albert piercing. It’s very good for a good pony ride.”
Bass’s mare Piercer loved it. She loved it so much and they decided to get it on behind Electric’s shop again. However, they always had sex on top of a power transformer. You know those green boxes that always say warning and danger. Yeah. That looks safe to me…Idiots.
“You ready to meet Prince Albert?” Bass asked.
Piercer nodded her head. She couldn’t wait to get it on. Piercer was standing on the power transformer with her legs spread open to show her wet hole. Bass had his hooves on the ground. As soon as he swung out the new sex toy he got. He had his target…But
*Zap!!!!*
“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” Bass shouted as his stallion hood got electrocuted. Then he feel down on the ground…dead
“Oh, my Celestia Ahhh!!!” Piercer shouted.
So Electric you own the store what happened. “When the power transformer meet that sex toy which was metal it was a good conductor. Electricity is essentially trying to find its path back to ground. So, if you touch that power transformer with that sex toy and you don’t have a good ground contact. Your hooves would become the ground. You're fucked. Plain and simple.”
Piercer didn’t get laid, but she did get lucky. Her hooves were spread open and not on the ground to complete the circuit. So, Nurse Redheart explain the death more.
“In this case when contact with the transformer was made the current flowed through his bloodstream starting from his pelvis. Then going up to the aorta into his heart. The current then stopped his heart.”
Well, what have we learned here? When you're ready to take the next step in a relationship. Do it in private. Mares in heat. Trust me on this. Just wait. Or else the stallion that will please you will wind up…Dead.
Way To Die #60 Hertz So Good
Date: October 31, 1926
Come one come all to see the great Hoofdini! Am I right. The great magician. He could escape from pretty much everything. Many ponies were amazed. He was the highest paid entertainer in the 1920's. Hoofdini wowed audiences all over Equestria by freeing himself out of many death-defying scenarios without using any magic. Anypony else know more about Hoofdini. What about you Trixie.
"Excuse me. I am The Great and Powerful Trixie when I guest star in shows or stories. Anyways Harry Hoofdini was arguably the greatest showpony of all time and probably one of the best marketing geniuses. Everything Hoofdini did was an illusion that was crafted to specifically to give Hoofdini as much success and respectability possible. The Moon Shot Manticore Mouth Dive was the best trick that gave Hoofdini so much respectability!"
Thanks Trixie. However fame could go to someponies head. Am I right Trixie
"Uhhh...The Great and Powerful Trixie has no idea what you are talking about"
Anyways, Hoofdini was no acception. He thrived on the worship of his fans. He came to believe his own invincibility. One day a fan dropped by to see if the great Hoofdini was everything he'd heard.
"Is it true you are invincible to pain?" The fan asked.
"Yes it is why don't you punch me and you will be amazed," Hoofdini said.
The fan decided to put that to the test he punched Hoofdini in the abdomen a couple of times with all his force. Hoofdini didn't even flinch. The fan left satisfied. Hoofdini however, doesn't know that he just set in motion his death clock. He was unable to sleep and remained in constant pain for the next two days, though he did not seek medical help. When he finally saw a doctor, Hoofdini was found to have a fever of 102 degrees and acute appendicitis. He was advised to go to the hospital for immediate surgery. However, Hoofdini decided to complete his show as planned that night.
The show went on, however, By the time Hoofdini arrived on stage, his fever had risen to 104 degrees. He was tired and in pain and his assistants often had to step in and offer help. Audience members reported that Hoofdini missed his cues and seemed in a hurry. By the middle of the third act, Hoofdini asked his assistant to lower the curtain as he could not go on.
When the curtain closed things were not going well for Hoofdini.
"Ohh. I don't feel so well." Hoofdini said and
*Plop*
He collapsed and had to be carried back to his dressing room. He continued to refuse medical care until the next morning when his wife begged him to go to the hospital. What's wrong with him. Well, Trixie, you know so much about him
"It's The Great and Powerful Trixie!! Hoofdini died from what the doctors call overwhelming septic shock. Hoofdini's appendix was like a balloon filled with a bunch of bacteria and when the fan punched him it allowed it to explode and the bacteria was allowed to flow into something called the pleural cavity. Eventually, that would cause all the organs to fail and then. It’s time to close the curtains...For good.”
He was in the hospital losing the battle. Hoofdini should have known. You could escape from just almost anything. Except...Your own fate.
Way To Die #61: Harry He-Done-Ey
Author's Note
Coming up somepony can't take a hot pepper and decides to drink down a nice ice cold drink of death. Then a human takes tennis too seriously and learns a lessson.
Date: September 7, 2014
The Everfree Forest is a dangerous place to be in but one zebra isn’t afraid and lives in it. Zecora. A couple that are travelers are looking for magnificent things. The stallion’s name was Magnifier, and the mare’s name was Polisher. They always looked for many things. They finally saw Zecora’s hut.
“Oh, honey look I think somepony lives in there,” Magnifier said.
“Really let’s check it out.” Polisher knocked on the door and out came Zecora.
“Hello, you two I’m sorry but I’m a bit busy and I’m also in a hurry,” Zecora said about to close the door.
“Wait listen were travelers and we want to see if you have somethings we can buy.” Polisher said.
As soon as she said that Zecora decided to let them in. She needed some extra bits anyway.
They looked around and saw the masks that Zecora had. They also saw some potions.
“Hey, how much for this mask.” Magnify said holding a mask.
“It’s not cheap I must say. It’s 200 bits give or take.”
“I’ll take it. It looks pretty cool too put in our collection.” Magnifier said giving Zecora 200 bits.
Zecora sold many things to these two couples and was getting many bits from them. She was getting the extra bits she needed. What did she need it for? Well for a new bed since her bed right now is old and is about to break and she had a stallion she met in Ponyville coming over in two weeks ready to get it on.
“Hello. Excuse me.” Polisher said making Zecora stop fantasizing about her stallion and pay attention. “My husband wants to know how much for those?” Polisher asked.
Zecora saw Magnifier and saw he was holding a pepper that Zecora got from one of her relatives. He looked like he was ready to eat it.
“Sir if I may say that is not a pepper you would like to eat today,” Zecora said stopping him.
“Oh, come on I can take it,” Magnifier said.
“Sir-“ Zecora was interrupted by Polisher.
“Relax he loves pepper. He won the pepper eating contest at the picnic we had last year with our family.
“I don’t care how much they cost I’m going to try one,” Magnifier said eating the pepper in one bite.
Zecora tried to stop him but she was too late. Magnifier looked okay until five seconds his face was turning red.
“Are you okay sweetie?” Polisher asked.
“Yeah, it’s just…hot” Magnifier said.
Magnifier should have listened to Zecora. He just ate a Ghost Chili Pepper. Peppers are measured in Scoville units. The Ghost Pepper is 1,041,427 SHU. That’s 400 times hotter then Tabasco. Magnifier made a big mistake. His mouth felt like the inside of a pizza oven.
“AHHHH!!! I NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK!!!” Magnifier shouted and saw Zecora’s refrigerator. He grabs a jar from the fridge to douse the flames.
Zecora tried to stop him again but again was too late. I take back what I said. Eating the pepper wasn’t a big mistake. Drinking that liquid was. Magnifier drank the liquid and his face turned redder and he began to spit out saliva uncontrollably and then instead of saliva he began to spit out blood.
“Sweetie!!! Oh My Celestia!!!” Polisher shouted.
You see Magnifier would have survived the Ghost Pepper. What he wouldn’t survive was the deadly rattlesnake poison that Zecora collected to sell to Universities so they can study it.
Finally, Magnifier spit out so much blood and finally, he fell to the ground…Dead...And he was still drooling blood.
“AHHHHHH!!!!” Polisher shouted.
Zecora just shook her head. Hey, does anypony know about venom from snakes? Oh, Fluttershy you know a lot about animals tell us about the venom Magnifier just drank.
“Well..Um. There was probably enough venom in that jar to kill 500 ponies but the fact that he had eaten a hot pepper brought the blood rushing to his mouth. His mouth must have had open wounds it went straight into his blood system. He was not going to survive it. I really don’t have a problem with snakes. They all love me and don’t bite me. Still, I have to give them venomoid surgery just in case they bite somepony so they don’t inject venom.”
Magnifier shouldn’t have eaten that pepper. Guess he was a bit of a dummy. He bit off more then he can chew. He washed it down with some fatal snake venom. The ghost pepper won. Now Magnifier is a ghost…Forever.
Way To Die #62: Chili Today…Dead Tomorrow
Author's Note
Happy Hearts and Hooves day. Now enjoy this death.
Quill
Date: February 14, 2007
Well, what do we have here? A bunch of ponies dancing at a nightclub and a bunch of rooms upstairs that are either locked or unlocked. Every mare and stallion are going at it like bunnies. However, in the middle of it all, I'd like you all to meet Quill. She is trying to go get an interview with a rapper known as Little Mic. He was a blue earth pony with a red mane, green eyes, and his cutie mark was a microphone. She was going to write about his new hit song Shake Your Plot. She knew where he was and while she was walking a bunch of stallions tried to hit on her. She refused, of course, she was only here for an interview. However, she saw their stallion hoods were already ready to go. She licked her lips but shook it off. Now Quill may look innocent but she really would like to get pounded. Still, she never got the chance. She was a virgin. She was glad she got this interview because according to mares Little Mic wasn't so little.
She went to the side of the nightclub where Little Mic was dancing with a bunch of mares shaking their plots right in front of his face. She could actually see Little Mic getting touchy. Quill wished that was her. Quill gulped and tried to control herself especially when she saw his stallion hood standing tall and proud. She went up to him for an...Interview. Yeah, just an interview. However, a bunch of mares plots got in her way.
"Excuse me Little Mi-
"Get out of her small plot. Little Mic only wants big plots." A mare said to Quill.
She was blushing. "I...I...I have a perfect plot."
"Perfect isn't good enough it has to be big." Another mare said.
Quill got enraged and walked away enraged. A few hours later she went to her hotel room and called somepony that may be able to help her with her small plot problem.
"Hello Mirror Image here." A stallion said through the phone.
"I need your help. Can you come to Golden Hotel and room 402?"
"No problem I'll be there as quick as I can."
After waiting for thirty minutes Mirror Image who was a unicorn plastic surgeon was here to help her. He was a green unicorn, with a black mane, blue eyes, and his cutie mark was a mirror with a syringe.
"Oh good your here. Come in." Quill said while Mirror Image came in holding a black case that had his tools.
"What can I help you with?" Mirror Image asked
"I want to...Ummm...Interview a rapper but I need...a big plot."
"What?"
"I need a big plot!!."
"Oh, that's easy lay on your stomach I got something in my case that can help you."
Mirror Image got to work to give Quill the mother of all plots. Mirror Image got ready for a silicone injection. What the heck is that? Well, we got a pony named Photo Finish that knows about it.
"Caulk or silicone implants bring out the magic!! They are offered throughout cosmetic surgery practices all over the country. However, you must be careful!! Many fraudulent doctors are performing plot injections with something called free silicone Which means the silicone is in liquid form, rather than packaged like an implant. I make sure my doctors make my Picture Perfect Ponies Vundabar!"
The doctor gave her the injection in her plot and after a couple of minutes he was done and waited for three hours for the implant to be perfect and fine.
“Okay, that will be 4,356 bits please." Mirror Image said.
Quill however only had 4,000 but she had an idea. "How about 4,000 and I let you take out this plot for a ride." She said with bedroom eyes.
Once that was said Mirror Image used his magic to put the do not disturb sign on the hotel door, locked the door, and put a soundproof spell around the room. Now it was time for some fun
Quill took off her glasses and bow and was getting ready as she sat on the bed and Mirror joined her. Quill, however, decided to start this with a nice hoof job. gripping Mirror's already semi-hard shaft rather tightly with her hoof. Not more than a moment later, the hoof began to quickly make its way up and down, stiffening it until it was fully erect and at full length. He closes his eyes groaning as he feels intense wave of pleasure up his spine, Suddenly he feels something warm surrounding his dick. Opening his eyes he looks down to see that Quill has the tip of his dick in her mouth. Her tongue swirls around it, leaving trails of her saliva all over it before she begins going down.
"Ohhh fuck!" Mirror moaned as Quill slowly takes his entire shaft into her mouth. She then begins bobbing her head up and down, gently sucking on it before gradually speeding up. As she does this, Mirror runs a hoof through Quill's mane. Mirror's eyes close once again as Quill continues sucking on his dick. Moments later, he can feel her starting to take his dick out of her mouth. Finally, Quill lays on her stomach lifts her big plot up and lifts her tail revealing her wet slit and a tight asshole ready to be pounded but now Mirror wants to have fun with the plot her gave her
Mirror gives her ass a playful smack and watches it jiggle.
"Oh!” She cries out. "Yes! Do it again!"
He does as she says and spanks her cheeks again. She lets out a pleasurable moan, Again and again, Mirror's hoof makes contact with her plot, soon resulting in a light pink imprint beginning to show.
What are you waiting for?" Quill asks between moans "Come on, Mirror. Fuck me! Fuck my ass! I want anal!"
Mirror starts spreading her dark blue cheeks before placing the tip of his shaft against her anus. Due to her outstandingly effective job in lubricating his shaft with her saliva, he doesn't have much of an issue when it comes to sliding his shaft inside her tight ass. The overwhelming feeling of this sends waves of pleasure into his mind as his entire shaft is inside her.
"Ohhhhh fuck!" She groans as Mirror begin moving his shaft in and out of her ass, slow at first, but steadily increasing in both speed and force.
"Fuck Yeah!"Mirror says as his balls slap against her pussy lips. It isn't long before he feels one of her hoofs down there and sees Quill rubbing herself. He continues to fuck her ass.
"Fuck me hard, Mirror!" She cries out in pleasure. "I want to be able to still feel it when I wake up tomorrow morning!"
Doing as she says, Mirror starts pounding her ass like a piston in an engine. The heat coming from her combined with the fact that it is really tight in there is making it feel excruciatingly pleasurable. Each thrust inward is bringing Mirror closer and closer to his orgasm.
"I feel like I'm gonna cum!!!!"Mirror shouts
"Me too!!!!" Quill screams with pleasure.
Mirror can see drops of her juices beginning to cover his testicles from them slapping against her pussy.
Quill's breathing begins to increase in speed.
"FUCK!!!" Mirror cries out as your last few thrusts push him to the edge. He tries holding it in as long as he can, relishing each second that his shaft is inside Quill's huge ass. But alas, he can't hold it back forever as his orgasm explodes inside her ass just as it is entirely within her.
"AHHHHH YES!!!!" Quill screams out in pleasure as she feels herself being filled with Mirror's cum. This feeling sends her over the edge as her juices flow out of her pussy, drenching Mirror's testicles and they both let out groans of pleasure.
Finally after that workout a couple days later it was Hearts and Hooves Day. As night came Quill came back to Lust Nightclub and was ready to rock Little Mic's world. She didn't care about the interview. Many Mare's were shaking their flanks but Quill's flank was way bigger than theirs. Finally, Little Mic takes interest in her and he began using his hooves to feel her huge plot. Quill moans. He smacks it making her moan even more. Little Mic's stallion hood wanted her. However, Quill starts to feel strange. She feels light headed and just as little Mic was about to ask her to go upstairs with him.
*Plop*
She falls to the ground dead. Little Mic just shrugs and goes to the other mares and his hit song starts to play.
"Start shaking your rear end Or as some ponies call it...Your hind-quarters, Your backside, Your bottom, Your buttocks, Your junk-in-the-trunk, Your badonk-a-donk, Your squash tart, Your J. Los, Your double slugs, Your wiggle bags. Shake that fat plot."
What happened to Quill well seems like Photo Finish knows.
"She had a fraudulent doctor do the work. The doctor must have accidentally injected some of the caulk into her bloodstream. The lumpy paste formed an embolism which blocked her pulmonary arteries. This caused her not to breathe and gave her a heart attack. That was the end of her photo shooting. Enough! I go."
Finally, after that happened Quill didn't get to jump on Little Mic's butt wagon. Instead, she winded up...Butted out.
Way To Die #64: Caulk Blocked
Date: May 10, 2015
Hey, remember this stallion. He helped Blue Blood get a female version of himself and you probably know how that went if you’ve been here since the beginning. It didn’t go so well but Atom was still a scientist that loved to do many tests. However, he was pushing science into questionable or unethical areas. Like we said before he was like a real Doctor Frankenpony. He was trying to find a key that the Alicorns wouldn’t share with anypony. He wanted the key to immortality without using magic. Even though he was a Unicorn he hardly used his magic.
Still, he needed test subjects. The test subjects he got were dead animals. He would usually find them in forests and kill them himself. He had a lot of deadly stuff to kill them anyways. Right now, he’s working with a Timberwolf head. He was using something called Reanimation. Hey Twilight what does Reanimation mean?
“Reanimation is the idea to sustain life through artificial means. Using an early heart-lung machine called the autojector you can feed oxygenated blood back into organs and keep the organs functioning. This was an interesting thing. It’s like finding the truth between life and death. These types of experiments ultimately led to the success of open heart surgery.”
Thanks, Twilight. Atom was still working with the Timberwolves head and was looking at its eye. Working with an autojector and other things he added to it the head of the Timberwolf was alive.
“Yes, your eye is still focused. I can make life. Now I bet I can make anything live forever!!!”
Now Atom of coursed loved Reanimation but he wanted to go further. However, the forest was not so good one day and not many animals were around, and some were not dead. Then he saw a Rattle Snake. He took out one of his potions. Threw it at the Rattle Snake and the Rattle Snake was dead. He was going to make this snake become his first test subject to live forever. He was only able to work with severed animal body parts. This time he would make a full body work. The Rattle Snake was on his test table and he had many machines connected to the Snake. The Rattle Snake rose from the dead hissing.
“It’s Alive! It’s Alive!! IT’S ALI-
*Hiss*
“AGH!!!!”
However, Atom just got a bite from the snake deep into his neck injecting venom into his body. The mad scientist should have used a less deadly animal. Fluttershy how did this venom kill him.
“Oh…My…Well, the venom of the Rattle Snake is a cytotoxic histotoxic blood poisoning. It blows stuff up in the body. It bit him in the neck. Injecting venom in him. His throat swelled up, his organs were destroyed, and he…Died. However, the Rattle Snake had a good reason. He felt threatened with a pony he didn’t know that up close to him, so he did the only thing he could do and that was. Bite the scientist.”
Thanks, Fluttershy. Well, Atom was a questionable scientist with a crazy idea. He was looking for immortality. Instead, all he found…Was a new way to die.
Way To Die #65: Snakenstein
Date: June 22, 2013
Hey, we had a death here before. Well in Equestria but now we're in the Human World. Well here we are at the Mash's House and it is summer. No school and you can have fun. One Problem. It was hot. There was a huge heat wave going along and everybody was trying to deal with it as much as they could. The Mash family did everything they could to beat the heat. They had fans on full blast, opened the windows, and had the AC all the way up. Are you sure this isn't the same death from before...Oh, nevermind then this one goes a bit different. One night Love Tap couldn't sleep because it was too hot. She went to the kitchen to beat this heat. However, it was a full moon tonight and there's nothing like a full moon to bring out the freaks. One boy from Canterlot High was sneaking around the Mash's house. He was looking through windows and was trying to see where Love Tap was. He was a Peeping Tom.
Curly Winds loved to peep on Love Tap. He would have done it from afar with the Binoculars he had but he wanted to get close to the action. He found Love Tap in the kitchen and was peeping through an open window. Curly had a good sight. Then Love Tap was groaning because of this heat. Curly didn't care he just watched Love Tap. Then Love Tap decided to take her pajamas off.
"Ahh fuck yeah." Curly whispered.
Love Tap took off her pajamas and was now standing there with a black bra and black panties. Curly was in heaven. Well, we have a Peeping Tom from The Human World here that decides to remain anonymous. He's been peeping Rainbow Dash for a while at her home.
"Something about looking in on a girl. You get to see their social life or you can do it at night so you can watch them and hopefully, they're doing something sexual. You have to find a safe spot that has a good view and a good cover. You don't want to get busted and have a neighbor come around and shout "Hey what are you doing!!" You definitely do not want to be caught by the person your peeping on. Especially in my case."
Thanks, Soari- I mean Anon. Anyways Curly couldn't believe his luck tonight. Love Tap then opened the refrigerator and bent down giving a good view of her ass. However, that wasn't enough. She then began to strip naked as she was looking in the refrigerator. Curly was drooling. First to go was Love Tap's bra. Her breasts were now free from their imprisonment. Then next were the panties. Love Tap's ass was now in full view for Curylyto see.
"There they are." Love Tap said as she pulled out a box full of popsicles and pulled on out. Love Tap then rubbed the popsicle all over her body.
In Curly's mind he was the popsicle. However, Curly was getting to close to the window he was peeping through and stuck his head in the house. Then Love Tap finally saw him.
"AHHHHHH!!!!"
Curly tried to make a quick retreat. His elbow accidentally knocked a stake keeping that window in place and...
*Crack!!*
It all came crashing down on Curly's pencil thin neck. Alright, Snowheart you're a nurse and you wanted to explain this death. So what happened.
"When the window came down on this patients neck. It severed his spinal cord between disks C2 and C3. This is where nerves go out to control basic body functions such as breathing and blood pressure. When this connection is broken. Death is instantaneous."
The whole family woke up.
"Sweetie what's wrong!?" Firewall who was Love Tap's husband asked.
"Mom, why did you scream?" Button asked.
Yeah, why?" Arcade who was Button's older brother asked as well
Love Tap pointed to the now limp dead body of Curly.
"Hey, I know that guy he's from my school in my class," Arcade said.
Curly finally learned his lesson. It's not cool to peep on people. You're breaking the law. And like Curly here...Your neck.
Way To Die #66: A Sight For Sore Neck
Author's Note
I'm taking a break because I have family problems to take care of and my family lives far away. I may be gone for a week or two but i'll be back with more deaths.
Date: March 19, 2014
"Alright Pinkie Pie here, I made more cupcakes."
Everypony meet Strudel a new worker at Sugarcube Corner that is working and the pony keeping an eye on him was Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie looked at the cupcakes and tasted one. "Hmmm...Delicious and not bad."
"That's...It. Don't you have any other comment like are they outstanding?" Strudel asked.
Pinkie laughed. "Oh, silly Strudel you'll get there someday. You just need to practice more. Now put those in the food display case. I got to make my own cupcakes now." Pinkie said heading to the oven.
"Grrr," Strudel growled. He hated Pinkie but what he was actually here for was to steal her recipe for cupcakes. Nopony knew but Strudel owned his own dessert place in Manhattan. The strudels he made were nice but he wanted more customers and he's heard that Pinkie makes the best cupcakes in Equestria. He started working her trying to see if he could copy what she did. He got a nice view when she bent down. However, he focused on how she made her cupcakes. Still, he couldn't understand how Pinkie Pie made them. However, Pinkie Pie had a book she kept locked in the kitchen in a locker that had her recipes for everything she made. Strudel decided to copy what she had.
One day Strudel decided to work overtime while The Cakes went out with their kids and Pinkie Pie was going to go out with her friends. This was his chance to steal the recipes he wanted. He had a crowbar and broke the locker and took the book he wanted. He began copying the recipe. However, he heard Pinkie Pie coming back. Strudel hid inside the dishwasher machine that The Cakes bought awhile back. He crammed in with the dirty dishes. Why was Pinkie Pie coming back? Because she forgot to push the on button, The machine started up. Then Strudel got a cleaning he didn't expect. With water that was over 200 degrees Fahrenheit.
*Sizzle!!*
Pinkie Pie left while Strudel was being boiled alive.
"AHHHH!!!!! FUCK HELP ME!!!!!!"
Okay, Nurse Redheart how did he die.
"This pony would die from the water which would boil his skin and formed blister right away and when the water got into his body it burned his organs. That is a very painful death. Imagine boiling a lobster in a pot of water. That's exactly what happened to him."
The next morning Mrs. Cake discovered Strudel body when she opened the dishwasher machine.
"AH!!!!!"
Mr. Cake and Pinkie came to see why she screamed. Strudel was overcooked.
"Strudel...What happened to you?" Pinkie said
Poor Strudel. He wanted to be better than Pinkie. Now he's in Tartarus Kitchen.
You know their's one good thing from this. Pinkie Pie has the key ingredient for her next batch...Of cupcakes
Way To Die #67: Chef Boy-R-Dead
Author's Note
I'm back from my family problems and ready with more deaths. Coming up we see a pony get stuck in a tight place. Then in the Human World, one teacher finds out studying is actually very deadly.
Date: October 5, 2016
Sunrises on Equestria at six o' clock. Thanks to Princess Celestia it's going to be a beautiful day. Oh, Except for Bet Hard. You see Bet Hard is in a little swing for foals. Why is he there so early and motionless. Well...He's dead. It all happened a couple hours earlier last night.
*Seven Hours Earlier*
Bet Hard and his three friends went out to drink at a bar. Dizzy's Bar. This bar was famous for one thing. Lots of ponies made bets in this bar. Bet Hard always bet on anything and pretty much-won anything. On this night one stallion bet him to see if he can fit in a little foal swing. One thing you need to know about Bet Hard. He was fat. He never worked out and he didn't have a job and he drank almost every night. He usually got his money from bets. He had a special somepony that he scared off and now he decided if he couldn't find anypony he would just enjoy his days. When Bet Hard heard that bet he told the stallion he would be right back as Bet Hard left the bar.
Bet Hard went back to his home and grabbed some butter. He came back to the bar and looked for the stallion.
"Hey. I got some butter and I'm ready for your bet. So where is the foal swing?" Bet Hard asked.
With his three friends and the stallion taking him to a park for this bet to start they began to wonder if Bet Hard is going too far. They didn't think Bet Hard could fit in a foal's swing. Not to mention 800 bits was on the line. They went to a playground owned by a pony named Doodles. Guess what. That was Bet Hard's old special somepony. Stil Bet Hard didn't give a shit.
"Alright, guys butter me up." He said to his friends.
"You sure about this. I don't think you can fit in that swing." One of his friends said.
"Just butter me up." Bet Hard said.
His three friends started buttering his hooves and thighs. Finally after a couple of minutes, Bet Hard squeezed his blubber into the swing and-
*Plop*
He was in. His friends cheered for him and the stallion put the bag full of bits on the ground. The Stallion left while his friends pretended Bet Hard was a foal.
"You okay there little guy." One of his friends said.
"I want my mommy! Hahaha!!!" Bet Hard said laughing.
However, for a joke, his three friends decided to leave him there until morning when Doodle came.
"See ya later man and say hello to Doodle for me."
"See ya."
"Bye."
"Hey, where are you all going!!! Get me out of this thing!!!"
Bet Hard was stuck in the swing. He struggled and tried to get out for hours. Finally after hours a struggling he screamed for help.
"HELP!!! ANYPONY!!! *Sniff* PLEASE!!" Bet Hard who was a bet master became a crying foal in the swing.
Finally after six hours, Bet Hard was feeling excruciating pain on his appendix.
"ARGHH!!! FUCK!!!
He didn't know but he had the early stages of appendicitis. He stuck his blubber in that swing real good. Hey, Nurse Redheart has anypony else tried to stuff themselves into something small.
"I've seen cases where ponies get stuck in sewer holes, a chimney, a traffic cone on their head, and a swing for a foal I've seen before but never seen a stallion this big fit in it. This stallion's appendix got blocked and when that happens. It could burst and all these toxins are released into your blood system. The toxins would travel very rapidly and this stallion ended up dying a very quick death."
Finally in the morning at six Doodle came and saw Bet Hard and saw he was dead with a bag full of bits on the floor.
"Told you those bets would get you killed one day. You stupid loser." Doodle said grabbing the bits and called someponies to get this ponies body out of here.
Bet Hard stuck his blubber into a foal swing. He won the bet. But in the end...He actually lost the bet.
Way To Die #68: Odds Are You're Dead
Date: September 27, 2015
The Friendship Games have been over for a couple of days. Apparently, someone turned into some kind of demon monster and well it doesn't matter were here to talk about a Coach. Meet Coach Scorch. He wanted to be a pro at weightlifting to bad that dream never came to be. Now all he does is drink, yell at students, and stare at girls when they workout. He gave kids terrible workouts that they hated so much. They wished he would give them a break at least for one day.
At Crystal Prep they had a competition to see who can lift the most weight and walk 100 meters on the track with it. They used rocks instead of regular weights. Coach Scorch got the big rocks and told everyone to line up and do their best. Some students were pretty good and others were not so good.
"Come on you pile of bones lift it up!!!" Scorch shouted to one of his students.
"I don't see you trying! I bet a student could beat you easily!!!" The student shouted.
Scorch wasn't going to let that comment go. "Alright then if you think so let's do something interesting. Today all of you are going to face me. If any of you can beat me then you won't have to do the workouts you guys hate for a whole week. However, if I win you'll hate the workouts I got planned for you that week."
Every kid wanted that week off. Now it was time to lift with all your might. Every student picked up the rocks and began walking on the track 100 meters and dropped them and picked up even heavier one's while others just dropped them and panted for air. Things looked good for Scorch as he didn't break a sweat until everyone was out except for one boy and girl wouldn't go down so easily. Sugar Coat and Thor.
Sugar Coat may not seem like a lifter but she was. Thor loved to lift things and these rocks were nothing for him. Scorch was nervous when they made it to the bigger rocks. He didn't think he had it in him. He decided to have a little break and let every kid get a drink. Sugar Coat and Thor followed the other students to get a drink. Scorcher stayed with the rocks and decided to make the rocks slippery with grease that he had.
The kids all came back and now it was only Sugar Coat, Thor, and Scorcher are ready. First up was Thor he lifted the rock and it slipped right out of his hands.
"What the fuck." He said.
"Ha Ha!!! You're ridiculous!!! You're not a lifter!!!"
"But the rock is sli-"
"Sugar Coat you're next!!!" Scorcher shouted before Thor could finish.
She tried to lift it up but she couldn't even get a grip on it
"Hey, the rock is slippery." She said.
"That's just an excuse your using!!!" Scorcher said.
Thor was angry. "Then how about you lift it.
Scorcher didn't want to lift that rock so he decided to lift a rock that no one could lift called The Crusher.
"Tell you what I'm going to lift The Crusher.”
Everyone gasped. That rock was just a joke some students found and they knew no one could lift it. It needed four people for it to be carried. In fact, Scorcher also needed help while placing it today. Scorcher gets ready and begins to lift The Crusher.
"ARGHHHHH!!!!" Scorcher shouts as he begins to lift The Crusher off the ground and everything seems to be going great until the strain becomes too much and
*Splosh!!!*
Everyone heard a noise like something came out of something and then they see some blood coming out of Scorcher's shorts.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Scorcher shouts. His intestines just came out. He drops The Crusher and falls...Dead on the ground.
"AHHH!!!! He's Dead!!!!" A girl shouts as others try to go get help.
Now, what the hell happened. Well, we have a bodybuilder here named Bulk Biceps that can explain it right Bulk.
"YEAHHHH!!!! HE PUT TO MUCH PRESSURE ON HIMSELF!!!!"
Stop shouting.
"He put too much pressure on himself and your abdominal cavity is holding that pressure. It can actually push your intestines out through your rectum which is why us bodybuilders know when to stop. This didn't kill him but he started losing so much blood and died of blood loss."
Thanks, Bulk. Well, Scorcher really like to lift anything he could. However, in this competition, he placed...Dead Last.
Way To Die #69: Ass-Plosion
Author's Note
Coming up Faust teaches a thief not to steal. Then another thief picks the wrong place to steal. Also the picture may not show and I’m working on fixing it also my computer is out of wack so I wrote this on my phone so sorry for any grammar problems.
Date: April 19, 2014
Well here we are at Rainbow Falls and the Traders Exchange is happening right now, This is the best time to trade for what you want to have. Also, you'll see a mare that is selling suits and costumes. Well everypony, meet Rusher. She collected suits and costumes based on comic book heroes and heroines. However, Rusher was no hero. She steals anything she wants. The suits she had she stole.
Nopony knows it's her since she always changes suits everywhere she steals and just like her name she is gone in a matter of seconds. Today was going to be a field day for her. She saw many trading stands that caught her eye and made a list in her mind of which ones to hit. Then she sees a stand that Princess Twilight owns. Sure it was just books, junk, and other stuff but anything owned by a princess meant big bits. She was ready to hit all the stands she wanted. She put on a simple suit she stole and was ready.
"Alright, you ready Dasher. First stop, steal from the comic geek colt."
Dasher grabbed the first edition off Spidermare.
"Hey!!" The Colt shouted.
Dasher was pushing everypony out of her way and then stole from many other stalls. She grabbed as much as she could carry and then next was Twilight’s stall. She grabbed all the stuff she could while Twilight was distracted. Finally, she had all she wanted.
“STOP HER!!!” A mare shouted
Dasher saw the ponies she stole from chasing her and Twilight was coming and about to use her magic luckily the suit Dasher had she had enchanted to make it magic proof. Rainbow Dash tried to stop her but Dasher pushed through ponies and Dash crashed into those ponies. Then she saw a hot mare strutting with a purse heading to her stand.
“I’ll be taking that!!” Dasher said grabbing the mares purse.
“You bitch!!” The mare shouted.
Dasher just looked at her and ran off smiling.
“Wait! Watch out!! My sta-
Before that mare could finish that Dasher tripped over a Faust doll from a collector of dolls. She tripped dropped all the stuff she stole flew for a while and landed
*Stab!!!*
On a broken pole which belonged to the mare and that mares name was Pole Dancer selling her poles for strippers to use and to get rid of broken ones if anypony wanted them.
“Gulgh!!! Gulgh!!!” Dasher impaled her chest and was now spitting blood from her mouth.
Nurse Snowheart what the heck is happening.
“She impaled her heart and now the heart can’t pump any blood into her body. You're most likely to die if the left, or right atrium, the aorta, or the Palmeri is punctured. Now you'll have blood around the heart into the sack that covers the heart called the pericardium and you'd die of a condition called pericardial tamponade.
Dasher was a stealer and the doll she tripped over was sent from Faust above. Faust decided to punish Dasher.
"Oh, Shit!!!" Pole Dancer said as everypony just stared at Dasher's dead body as she stopped spitting blood and blood dripped down the pole.
You know she was wearing a costume of a hero but she was a villain. Just like every villain, they lose and they lose everything they got. Dasher lost everything she stole and then...Lost her life.
Way To Die #70: Im-Poled
Author's Note
Coming up we got another thief that steals from the wrong place. Then one pony tries to show off and winds up failing. Sorry, this took so long my computer finally died and I'm saving money to buy a new one and it's hard to use my phone to do this especially putting the pictures on the story.
Author's Note
Sorry, it's taking so long school sucks but I'll try to post as fast as I can especially since I'm still using my phone and not a computer.
Gem Stealer
Date: May 17, 2017
You see that Stallion trotting down Appleoosa and looking like he just got out of jail. That’s because he did. Meet Gem. That’s what ponies call him. Full name was Gem Stealer. Of course, he would never tell anypony his full name. He was in Appleoosa since Canterlot which is where he usually stole stuff knew him very well. Now he was here ready to steal from a bakery. He used to steal from higher places, but he needed money for equipment since the last time he was arrested the police took everything he had.
Now Gem Stealer didn’t have any brains, but he did have a gun. That makes him dangerous to himself. However, he needed a disguise to cover himself up before he could steal. He started looking through a dumpster and used a garbage bag for a mask. Poked some holes so he could breathe in it. Then he was ready to steal. Now that is just stupidity at its finest.
“Alright nopony looking…Time to move.” Gem Stealer said.
However, he should have looked behind himself. He went through the wrong door and instead of a bakery well…
Gem Stealer took out his gun and shouted. “This is a stickup everypony down-“
Gem Stealer stopped midsentence when he realized he walked into a gun shop store with ten ponies including the owner inside. They took out their weapons aimed at Gem Stealer and…
*Bang!!! Bang!!! Bang!!! Bang!!!*
Fired. Everypony fired about 4 bullets in him. That’s a total of 40 bullets. However, it took only one to kill him. Gem Stealer ran into Gun Fire’s shop. Gun Fire was the only pony that sold weapons here in Appleoosa and was having a sale that day. Many ponies were there which was bad for Gem Stealer. We got an owner from another gun store named Quick Scope here. Quick Scope is this legal to shoot somepony in a gun shop.
“It is most certainly legal to shoot somepony that tries to steal from a gun shop. Many gun shop owners are going to be armed and the customers are going to be too. This pony definitely went into the wrong store and when he aimed his gun it was game over for him. I know a little bit about the pony body but I think one bullet through his heart killed him and when that happens there is no circulation and the bullet probably went out through his back and he was dead instantly.”
Gem Stealer’s last stickup was the last act he ever did on this planet. However, Gun Fire had cameras in his shop and Gem Stealer is famous now. If you go online and search up “Idiot Tries to Steal Gun Shop” you’ll find it has 2,000,000 hits and counting. Do ya feel lucky Gem Stealer… Well, do ya.
Way To Die #71: Knock Knock...Your Dead
Human Off Topic (Created by Damien Martino)
Author's Note
Sorry, the picture isn't the best the only pictures I have are saved on my phone I'm close to paying for a new computer that will totally help me a lot more on making stories but it cost a lot more than my last one. Coming up we got a pony that sticks things up where the sun don't shine. Nasty.
Human Off Topic (Created by Damien Martino)
Date: July 9, 2016
Well, looky looky. Off Topic. We've seen this jerk before. He died in Equestria. How about in the Human World. He was a businessman in this world because he lied and got to the top by doing it. He was happy he had a nice new office that was amazing. However, what he really was impressed with. Was himself.
"I have a lot of money and I can give any women a good time." He said to Lyra who was with Bon Bon.
One of Off Topic's favorite past time was hitting on any women he could find which right now was Lyra and Bon Bon even though they were already together. How did they get the job? Well, Off Topic hired them to get lucky with them. You would think he would know better. Ha. That's a laugh. He was a sexual harassment case in a thousand dollar suit.
We have a pony that knows something about law and companies called Business Savvy.
"Partners at law firms have a lot of power and influence over the careers of brand new associates. You really need the job and you're really at this pon- I mean person's mercy. You don't want to screw this up. Pretty much all you can do is follow what they say and if you do what they tell you to do you'll have a good chance of getting the job. Law jobs are very hard to get into and find but if you get lucky you find one that pays well and stick to it."
Finally Off Topic was showing Lyra and Bon Bon his new office with a view and locked the doors behind him. he wanted their bodies and he wanted them now.
"Beautiful view isn't it but you two are more beautiful." Off Topic said.
"Yeah, sure whatever." Bon Bon said rolling her eyes.
That pickup line was terrible, however, Off Topic had one more trick up his sleeve. He had a prank he liked to play to impress the ladies. In his new office that I should mention was on the 40th floor he would get a running start and throw himself into the window. The tempered glass would always bounce him back. That impressed many girls and if that didn't he would give them many raises so they could jump on his desk and right on him.
So we got a pony that makes Windows and fixes them called Window Fixer. She usually fixes the glass around Ponyville when Rainbow Dash pulls off a Sonic Rainboom. Also when Rainbow or any other pony crashes into one.
"Tempered glass is just unpredictable. It was developed as a safety technique so that pon- people wouldn't get cut on it. Not to throw yourself at it and bounce back. On impact, it could just break."
"Watch this girls." Off Topic said getting a running start heading to the tempered glass.
*Crash!!!*
"AHHHHHH!!!!" Off Topic shouted falling from the 40th floor.
" Oh My God He's Insane!!!!" Bon Bon shouted while Lyra looked away holding on to her.
Off Topic took a running start...and never stopped.
*Boom!!!*
What was that? Well, that was Off Topic's body hitting the ground. Hey, Nurse Snowheart what happened to Off Topic here.
"Once they discovered that their imminent death is there they most likely would have pissed themselves. Anyways he probably died instantaneously. He skull shattering on the ground and his brain herniating out on the street. His spine probably shattered along with his skull and shattered his spinal cord and his body was nothing but a mess."
Well Off Topic you died in two worlds. You're going down...Straight to hell.
Way To Die #72: Shattered Dream
Date: July 28, 2011
Well, look at this stallion. His name is Film Maker and he made good films before but now he's got nothing. All his fame went down the drain when he made a terrible movie. Now he had an addiction. A strange addiction Film Maker couldn't stop sticking things up where the sun don't shine.
"Well, Film Maker what was it this time?" The doctor asked.
"Well, I uh."
"Shampoo bottle." The Doctor said looking at his clipboard telling him what was up there.
"I slipped in the shower." Film Maker said smiling.
Well, Nurse Redheart give us a diagnosis.
"The rectum is kind of torturous so if you lose something up there it's going to be around a blind corner. It may be difficult for you to get it out on your own. The object forms a seal with that soft moistness walls in the rectum and no air can get in. So, it's like trying to pull a cork out of a bottle."
"Film Maker this the third time in five months that you slipped in the shower."
"I'm sorry doctor."
"Very well. Let me look." The Doctor said seeing what he needed to do to get that shampoo bottle out.
However, Film Maker was hardly the first to become addicted to sticking things up the rectum. It feels good. Nurse Redheart what have you seen.
"The things I've seen in there. Carrots, snow globes, lightbulbs, flashlights, a metal spring from a garage door. I don't know how they got that down and I rather not find out how."
After the shampoo bottle was removed and Film Maker was recovering. He was desperate for more probing. A single thermometer he found in a drawer wouldn't do much for Film Maker's crater. However, nine of them taped together would be good. He taped them together with tape that he also found in another drawer. He took the plunge with his makeshift masher.
“Ohh yeah.” Film Maker said getting the feeling he loved.
Everything was okay until
*Creek*
The doctor was coming in. Film Maker jumped back on the bed and put the blanket over himself again.
*Crack!!*
What was that noise. That was nine thermometers breaking deep in Film Maker’s anal canal.
“Oh! Ow! OW!!! OW!!!!”
The doctor was wondering why Film Maker was now yelling in pain. “What’s wrong?! Are you in pain?! Tell me!”
Film Maker pointed to the blanket covering him. The Doctor took it off him and saw blood coming out of Film Maker’s rectum.
“Oh, Mother of Celestia!! I’ll be right back I need help!!” The Doctor shouted leaving to get help.
The help wouldn’t do any good. Redheart what the hell did he do to himself.
“The thermometers shattered through large veins in his colon to make things worse toxic mercury from the thermometers began leaking into his bloodstream. If you want to know more about that ask Twilight.”
Well Twilight tell us about the mercury in the thermometers.
“Mercury is a heavy metal extremely toxic and it’s used in thermometers. It can affect a verity of things. It can lead to brain damage and much more. When using it you have to be careful not to breath it in, or swallow it”
Film Maker gave himself the ultimate double whammy. Internal bleeding, and toxic shock. Did he die…Just look at the body bag the doctors and nurses are carrying out the hospital.
Way To Die #73: Rectum-self
Date: May 6, 2017
Wild Ace was working on his little chip's and camera's like he always did. He was a Corporate Spy and a pretty good one as well. He would usually get information and sell it to the wrong ponies. Today he's planning on doing something big. Someponies wanted to know about a spy who was living in Ponyville nopony knew the name only the gender. It was a mare. However, they also knew that she worked for an anti-monster agency in Canterlot. Well, at least she used to. Until a bugbear got loose and the agency shredded all the evidence they had and anypony who worked there. At least that's what they wanted everypony to think. Instead, they took the evidence to a new building. That's sort of all we know about the agency. The rest is very secretive. Except for what happened to Wild Ace. We got that information as well.
His mission was to get into the building through the exhaust duct, break-in where the files are at, take pictures of every profile of ponies that worked for the agency and the ponies that want the information would give him half a million bits. Now I don't know much about corporate spies but we got a pony here who decides to remain anonymous who knows something about them.
"Corporate Spies try to steal private information for financial gains. Good or bad. They're usually looking for information that would usually get them the jump on their competitors. Maybe to take down a spy that may be bothering them, or maybe take down an agency. In this case, this spy is trying to get evidence to help out these ponies to take down me- I mean a spy."
Thank you anonymous. Now Wild Ace went to work that night. He put on his favorite black suit so nopony would know his identity. First, he had to disable the exhaust fan. Not an easy thing. The four-foot steel blades were powered by a 20 horsepower motor. He jammed it with a special stick he made that can stop anything and finally started climbing inside the exhaust vents. He began heading the room full of files. He found an opening to the room.
"Bingo." He got into the room and began taking pictures as quick as he could.
*Slice!!!*
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Wild Ace's hooves were sliced off by the fan
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!!!" The gaurdpony shouted.
However, his response was more screaming and getting covered in Wild Ace's blood coming from his now severed hooves.
Twilight do you think you can explain what happened.
" Once his hooves were severed and femoral arteries were severed. The heart kept pumping away and the blood was getting pumped but it was getting pumped out of the body and effectively his blood pressure shut down and vital organs stopped working because there is no blood supply. Which caused him to die."
Wild Ace tried to steal some files but failed miserably. He lost his hooves, his blood, his pride, his job, and then his life...Mission failed Wild Ace.
Way To Die #74: Double-O-Severed
Author's Note
Sorry it took so long finals are crazy but I got one more test and then finally summer. Coming up a skater gets a mouth full. Then a stallion tries to join a gang and goes to full lengths for it.
Author's Note
Kmanalli made the OC. Ironm17 made the Picture. I made the death. Finally, summer is here and I need to take a week break because my family wants me to go on a camping trip and I don't really want to take my new laptop I just got with me. Now enjoy.
Cayenne
Date: August 10, 2013
It's an old story but not unheard of. A young protege with the potential to be a pro skater but then messes up their life with booze and drugs and then losses all the potential they have. Say hello to Cayenne. She could have been a future queen of skateboarding but now all she is now is a burnt out has been. She still skates and does what she wants. However, all she does is terrorize pedestrians and mess with the police.
She grinds a rail an old stallion is using to get up the steps. "Move it, Gramps!!"
The old stallion falls down. "Oh, my back!"
When she spots a police officer she gets ready and does a trick and skates away. "Can't catch me!! Why don't you get a real job loser!!"
All the teenage fillies and colts used to look up to Cayenne now all she gets is teenage colts snapping pictures of her when she stretches or is doing some pose for some good eye candy to look at all day or sell. Cayenne didn't mind in fact she started making her own magazines filled with pictures of her self to sell to buy more booze and drugs. Now we got a filly here that knows a lot about this story she's heard some like this before. Scootaloo tells us what you know.
"I know way too many mares and stallions that have all the skill there and all the talent but blew it all on well you know drugs and alcohol. It's just unfortunate but it happens a lot."
Now Cayenne saw three ponies skating around and decided to challenge them to a race. However, a simple race wouldn't do. Then she remembered a construction site and decided to challenge them there.
"Hey, you three I challenge you to a race through the construction site. Unless your just chicken." Cayenne said smiling evilly.
The skaters were not going to back down. However, is a construction site really a good place for a race. Scootaloo what do you think?
"Skaters, Scooters which I am, or other such ponies that have something with wheels like to go anywhere. However, we meet someponies that don't like us. We call them haters. They say it's private property and they say they’ll beat us up and pretty much they ruin all the fun. I usually just rush through and do a quick trick before they can shout at me or catch me. Now a construction site probably isn't a good idea though but no pony doesn't like to be called chicken believe me I know."
Whether or not it was a good or bad idea the three skaters plus Cayenne were at the entrance. While other ponies came to watch with cameras to take photos and film the race. They were in all the right places so they could film and not get caught.
One pony started to count.
"Three...Two...One...Go!!"
They skated off shredding on everything they could while doing tricks. Some things in the construction site looked like half pipes which they used to show off, and any rails they saw shredded. The construction worker finally saw them and the ponies filming cursed at them when they almost got hit and when the ponies filming got in their way. They didn't care though. Cayenne was going to cheat to win this race. Every time she got close to a skater she would speed up and cut them off which would make them fall.
"Hey, what the fuck!!" One of the skaters shouted when he got back up from a fall.
It was the same with all the three skaters. Cayenne was close to the end and the ponies cheered. Cayenne smiled and some took pictures she did poses on her skateboard to give them some eye candy. She was living the dream. However, a rock right in front of her brought her back to reality. Her skateboard got caught in it and Cayenne flew.
"AHHHHHH!!!!" Cayenne screamed and...
*Splat*
Landed in a pile of wet cement head first knocking her out. That doesn't sound good. One construction workers saw this and try to pull her out. However, it was bad luck for Cayenne it was quick dry cement. They did get her out but she was already dead when they did.
"Oh shit!!" A construction worker shouted while other skaters and scooters screamed.
Now, what happened to her. Well, Twilight do you know.
"When she went face first into the wet quick dry cement and was knocked out she took a deep breath of cement because even when you're knocked out your breathing mechanisms are still working. She basically sucked in all of that wet cement which clogged up her airway passages and once it dried she had no ability to breathe in air into her lungs and she suffocated to death.”
Once upon a time. Cayenne was a good skateboarder and good eye candy for the teens. She could have made it big but instead, she's just another dead mare...On our list.
Way To Die #75: Board Stiff
Author's Note
Well, I'm back from my camping trip and summer is here. Time to relax and write more. Also, the police mare has many names many fans have given here so I just showed a picture of her. Coming up were back in the human world. Summer is great...For more deaths.
Steel Mustang
Date: December 10, 2017
It's close to Hearth's Warming and many ponies are buying gifts these days with the money they have. In Manehatten ponies will do anything for money. As for an example take Steel Mustang here. His Cutie Mark shows that he is good at fixing mechanical machines. He would help companies fix machines right...Not exactly. He would pretend to fix the machines but all he would do was steal from the machines and pretend to fix them and take all the expensive parts and sell them to a gang can get some of the money he got he was trying to get into. He would sell the parts to get some money and give some money he got to the gang he was trying to join. The gang was called The Night Stealers and they always did their business in the night. They may have done somethings in the daylight like Steel Mustang here but they acted innocent while doing it. At night they were not nice at all. They thanked Luna for nights to do what they needed to do. If Steel Mustang could join them he could help them out and they could help him get more helpers to steal stuff with him and take down a pony that he would want them to take down.
Now Steel Mustang has gotten far into this gang's initiation process. He passed tagging by doing it on a taxi cart. Stealing from two places without getting busted or caught by the police. He also had the gang's logo tattooed on him. The logo was a moon with two guns on it. He hid it very well though in the day by putting something on or putting makeup on top of it so ponies didn't know his other life. He just had one more thing to do. He went in an alleyway in Saddle Row where two gang members told him to come tonight. When he came he knew what they were going to do.
"You ready." One gang member said.
"Last step." The other gang member said.
"Do it. I'm ready." Steel Mustang said. He was ready for something called The Beat Down.
The two gang members started punching him as hard as they could. Now anypony know about a beat down. Well, we got no gang members but we got a police officer that's seen some. Her name is...What...Eh will just show a picture a pony took of you one day.
"I've seen many crazy things in my time in the police force like that pink pony from that picture that day. Anyways The Beat Down from what I've heard from gang members now in prison is usually showing your loyalty and commitment to the gang. It's like the whole blood in blood out thing. I've seen some happen and we usually catch those gang members and take them to prison. It's pretty bloody from what I've seen."
"Come on are you gonna tap out!!!" The two gang members said together.
After two minutes Steel Mustang was hurt badly but he stayed strong. Once it was over the gang members congratulated him and he was now apart of the gang.
"Hey, freeze!!!" Then they saw police officers coming after them.
The three of them ran off trying to get away from the fuzz. They all went in different directions. Steel Mustang got away and was walking down Saddle Row looking hurt but playing it cool when ponies saw him. He was happy in his mind and he had medicine and bandages at home to clean himself up from. The Beat Down he got. He went down another alleyway for a shortcut to get to his home. Then he heard something. It sounded like it was above him. He looked up.
*Crack!!!!*
A body of a dead stallion from another gang that was getting rid of the evidence by dumping the body from a tall building. It landed straight on Steel Mustang. Nurse Snowheart diagnosis, please.
"This pony was already badly hurt and that corpse coming down from a hundred feet above with gravity would crack many bones in the body like the skull, ribs, and legs. He wouldn't have survived that. He was already bleeding from The Beat Down he got and after that corpse that fell on him, he would be losing liters of blood. However, I don't think he even survived the cracking of his skull which was probrably the first part of his body to get injured since the body fell from above. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time."
Steel Mustang seemed innocent in the day but he was a bad pony at night. Faust from above said that's enough from you...You're done for homie.
Way To Die #76: Homie-Cide
Date: July 29, 2016
It's the middle of the night and the graveyard is creepy. The owl's hoot and the bats fly to scare anyone that comes inside Cross Bone's Graveyard. This graveyard was for people that sadly had their lives cut short. A girl named Diamond Tairia is buried here. Remember she was on our list. However, we're not here to talk about her. Another creature is here in the graveyard. Her name is Poison Kiss and she had a shovel with her. She loved money and usually hanged out with boys that had some. She would seduce them use her body and steal from right under their noses. She was here to dig up Diamond Tiara's grave.
She found Diamond Tiara's grave. "You rich bitch." She said and began digging up Diamond's grave.
Why would she be doing this? Well, Diamond died but she had things buried with her. Money belongings that cost a lot of money. Poison hated Diamond for gloating about how much more money she had then her and how she didn't need to seduce any boy to get it. Poison decided to get even with her and steal the stuff from her grave and sell the things she had for some quick cash. Poison was getting close to the casket then all of sudden she heard somebody coming. It was the gravedigger Crossbone who worked at night. She hid behind another grave. Crossbone looked around. Poison was hoping he didn't notice Diamond's grave. Crossbone was about to leave until he heard a phone ring. Poison forgot to silence her cell phone and her parents were calling her. Crossbone went to the noise but then Poison realized that she still had the shovel in her hands. When Crossbone got closer she gave the shovel a mighty swing and...
*Wack!!*
Crossbone got hit right in the face and was knocked out. Poison got to work quickly before the gravedigger woke up. She dug faster and got to Diamond's casket and opened it up. She saw Diamond there and first took the crown from her head which maybe would give her about ten thousand dollars. Then she saw the rings she had on her fingers. She tried to take it off but Diamond wouldn't let her take her rings. She decided to also take her fingers as well. She smiled and laughed at Diamond. She was ready to leave until she heard a noise. Then she looked up and saw Daimond's gravestone coming down.
"AHHHH!!!!"
*Crunch!!!*
Diamond's gravestone landed right on Poison. Poison made a grave error. Crossbone woke up and saw what just happened. Poison was now on top of Diamond and they where both under the gravestone. He sighed and he started to dig up another grave for Poison. Sci-Twi you got an A+ in anatomy tell me what happened to Poison Kiss.
"The weight of the gravestone collapsed on her and luckily didn't crush her skull but the lungs wouldn't be able to expand because she had so much pressure on her ribcage that the muscles couldn't overcome the weight of the gravestone. However, her ribcage also began to crack and punctured her lungs. Now she was bleeding heavily. She died from suffocation and blood loss."
Poison Kiss was a gold digger. She dug up the gold That Diamond had. But in the end, when the gravestone landed on her she and Diamond wounded up joined at the hip...and the face...and the chest.
Way To Die #77: Six Feet Plunder
Author's Note
Coming up did you ever want to bring a doll back to life. You might want to think twice.
Author's Note
Finally, I'm back and here to stay for a long time.
Cherry Pop
Date: April 12, 2006
*Ring Ring*
A phone rings at a toy workshop in Fillydelphia. A workshop owned by the one and only Doll Lover.
"Doll Lover's Workshop can I help you...Wha? You got the wrong doll."
However, many customers have been calling her and been giving complaints. Some ponies have gotten delivered the wrong dolls, and some dolls they’ve gotten look terrible. It wasn't her fault she did a good job at making dolls. All of her employees did as well. Except for one. One day her sister in law was about to be kicked out of her apartment for not paying. She needed a job and out of weakness Doll Lover gave her one. Pop. That was her last name and was on her name tag. Her full name Cherry Pop all she wanted was to have fun with the stallions that she worked with. Her name backwards was just what she wanted stallions to do to her pop her cherry. She was a terrible employee.
"Hey, big boy you're pretty big. Anything else big about you." She said flirting with another worker.
The worker kept working. He already had a marefriend. In fact, his marefriend worked at the shop. Every stallion and mare began complaining about Cherry Pop to Doll Lover.
"She keeps hitting on all us stallions. I mean she doesn't even try to work. She needs to be fired."
“Yeah, she filtered with my stallion!!”
Doll Lover had enough and gave Cherry Pop a piece if her mind. " Cherry Pop you keep screwing up deliveries!! I've gotten so many complaints through the phone!! You also make the dolls look terrible!! Also, stop hitting on my workers!!!! That's it I gave you this job to help you out but you're fired!! You want to have fun with stallions work on the streets!!"
"Ah come on you can't fire me!!" Cherry Pop was pissed and she decided to get revenge.
One night she snuck into the shop and began destroying every doll, putting delivery boxes in the wrong places, and wrecking the whole shop.
"Fire me will ya. I'll show you." Cherry Pop said destroying a machine smiling evilly.
After she destroyed Doll Lover’s Shop she went back to her apartment. She saw her phone had a message.
" Hello..Hello I guess your not home so I’ll leave a message. Listen Cherry Pop I'm sorry how I acted. I'll give you one more chance starting tomorrow okay. Please don’t be mad at me.”
"Shit!!"
Cherry Pop broke into the shop again and she only had two hours before Doll Lover came. She began to fix everything she did as quickly as possible. She knew she wouldn't be able to do it all in time but she had a book that had dark magic. Twilight explain.
"Dark magic is magic that anypony can use no matter what you are Unicorn, Pegasus, even an Earth Pony can do it. It's dangerous because you never know what the side effects can be. it can affect you or the thing around you. If you're going to try using dark magic it better be your last resort. You can even die from it."
Apparently to Cherry Pop it was her last resort. She used dark magic to fix the dolls and fixed the machines she messed with. She put the delivery boxes in the right places as well. She fixed everything with ten minutes to spare. Then she saw an old doll which looked like a little filly. It belonged to Doll Lover. She made it herself when she was little. It was blue, had button for eyes, and had a star for a cutie mark. She called her Twinkle Star. It was old but Doll Lover Still loved it. Cherry Pop knew it belonged to Doll Lover and decided to do something special for Doll Lover. She used her dark magic to bring the doll to life. She focused her dark magic. She began to bleed from her nose but she kept going and then once she was done she looked at the doll. All of a sudden the doll spoke.
"Hi I'm Twinkle Star and I'm your friend till the end. Hiddy Ho. Ha Ha Ha." Twinkle Star said smiling.
Cherry Pop did it but then all of a sudden the dolls face turned into a face of anger.
"You stupid bitch!! You filthy slut!! I saw what you did to my owner's shop and those dolls!! I’m gonna Kill ya!!" Twinkle Star went after Cherry Pop.
"AHHHHH!!!!" Cherry Pop screamed She ran and slipped. She fell on a stuffing machine. Stabbing herself with the pole. She impaled her heart. She was dying.
However, Twinkle Star didn't think that was enough. She got up and turned on the machine and the stuffing began to fill Cherry Pop's heart. Nurse Red Heart what would that do to a pony.
"As that stuffing began to fill up the heart it would form a ball that's unable to be pumped out of the heart which increases force on the heart. The heart tries to pump the ball out so that it can keep pumping blood. However, it can't and the heart pretty much can’t pump blood out and it would become clogged with blood and stuffing. The heart would eventually explode because of it being filled causing the patient to die instantly."
Cherry Pop tried to scream but all that came out of her mouth was blood as the machine kept filling her up with stuffing. When Doll Lover came in that morning she saw Cherry Pop dead with the machine still pumping her up full of stuffing.
"AHHHH!!!!"
Now nopony messes with Doll Lover’s Shop. If you do Twinkle Shine will come after you.
Cherry Pop was a lousy employee. All she wanted was to be filled up by a stallion. Instead, Twinkle Shine filled her up...Another way.
Way To Die #78: Child's Play
Author's Note
50 messages I got for people telling me to bring this back. I'm working on another story but I guess I can work this one on the side. These are just simple short stories, not my best work. My other story I'm working on will be.
Sliver Feather
Date: September 2, 2016
Silver Feather was at War Claw's Restaurant getting impatient. He tapped his claw on the table. "Hurry up where are they at!" Finally, he heard some laughing. He saw his wife and his daughter laughing with as well as her suitor. "Took you three long enough to get her."
"Relax father we're here and let me introduce you to Metal Wing," Scarlet said. Scarlet was Silver Feather's daughter. Metal Wing was a Pegasus that had lost his wings and replaced them with metal ones. However, Silver Feather didn't like ponies. He believed Metal Wing wasn't good for his daughter Scarlet. His wife knew so that's why she talked him into inviting Metal Wing to a simple Griffon Feast. Hey Gilda, do you know what a Griffon Feast does
"Us gryphons when we are getting married, we do something called a Griffon Feast. This not only serves as a feeding purpose but it also brings the whole family together. Us gryphons really don't show much of our affection but during a Griffon Feast is another story."
Bringing the whole family together was the last things on Silver Feather's mind. He picked out the menu for this feast to drive his daughter's suitor away. The waitress came in to serve the first course. It was live shrimp. Ponies are not carnivores. However, the rest of the gryphons ate it so Metal Wing had to as well. Silver Feather was watching him like a gryphon. He chowed down. The shrimp wiggled its way down his throat. However, this feast was just getting started.
"Ah, this is my favorite.” Silver Feather said smiling evilly as he looked at what was on his plate. A slab of meat.
The family ate. Metal Wing was not going down that easy. He ate the meat just like it was nothing. He was going to finish this feast to the end. He ate everything Silver Feather asked for this feast. Then the last meal came for this feast.
The last thing to eat for this feast was live octopus. Metal Wing was about to cry uncle.
"You going to eat it?" Silver Feather asked smiling evilly at Metal Wing.
"Dad stop it! I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work! Metal Wing doesn't have to eat if he doesn't want to! I love him and you have to accept that!" Scarlet shouted.
"He's going to eat it!" Silver Feather shouted.
His wife had enough as well. "Eat it yourself we are out of here."
Silver Feather's family left. Metal Wing would have eaten the octopus but was happy he didn't have to and left as well.
"Yeah whatever go ahead and leave!" Silver Feather shouted at all of them.
Silver Feather ate the live octopus whole. Well done.
*Ack! Ack!*
However, something was wrong. Silver Feather couldn't breathe. The octopus he just swallowed was a fighter. Silver Feather tried to swallow. When the waitress saw what was happening, she tried to save him by doing the heimlich maneuver. It wasn't working. After two minutes of struggling.
*Plop!*
Silver Feather fell to the floor dead. With a tentacle sticking out of his mouth still moving. Hey Red Heart how did this kill Silver Feather?
"When the live octopus lodged itself in the throat with its tentacles inside the windpipe with the trachea. This gryphon was unable to suck in fresh air and he effectively asphyxiated or choked to death."
Silver Feather didn't think anypony was worthy for his daughter. He was stuck in his old ways. That kind of thinking...It'll kill ya.
Way to Die #80: Tenta-Killed
Date: June 22, 2018
"Oh, Mr. Silver Stream how's that mail order bride coming along!!"
Silver Stream tried to hit a target with a ball but he missed.
"Oh too bad!!" The pony said standing on the seat above a dunk tank.
You got too be a real jerk to man the dunk tank at some festivals and Carnivals. Also, no one can hurl insults like Parcel Post.
"Oh hello, Twilight. Your psychologist says that you should come in twice a week instead of once!!"
Twilight threw the ball but missed the target.
"Come on your a princess you can do better than that!!"
Flim and Flam have run a few games at carnivals and festivals and Flam knows how to run a dunk tank.
"I'm usually the one in the seat above the dunk tank. We both know that working a dunk tank does take a special art form. The object is to get the pony that is about to shoot mad at you by insulting them. They'd get mad so they continue spending money to get even with you."
So how come Parcel Post was able to insult ponies in Ponyville with such embarrassing secrets. He was one of the ponies in town that delivered mail.
And not only did he delivered the mail. He read them. He knows everyponies embarrassing secrets. Derpy isn't it against the rules when working to read the mail that you deliver.
"It's Ditzy!! Anyways yes it is completely against the rules to do that. You can get fired and in serious trouble. You can get a fine of 800 to 2000 bits."
Parcel Post didn't care he had bits for days every time a festival or carnival came along he was in the dunk tank and boy he would get half the money and he made ponies spend so much.
One night at another festival. Parcel Post was armed with fresh dirt. He had everypony going mental.
"Hey Applejack. I saw another love note about your plot!! It's looking fine but maybe a bit too large!! Hahahaha!!"
Applejack aimed but missed.
"Pony Feathers!!" She shouted as someponies tried to cover their children's ears and glared at her.
However, there was a problem with this dunk tank. This one came equipped with an electric heater to keep the water warm. Over time the fuse box to the heater caught too many wild pitches.
The water was now electrified and Parcel Post was one dunk away from death. The way everypony was throwing. He didn't seem in much trouble. Then up stepped a new colt in town. Who's name was Wild Pitch.
"Hey Wild Pitch how you doing little buddy!! Has your mom told you that your dad may be staying in Manehattan a little longer for his business trip!! Makes you wonder what he's really doing there!!"
Parcel Post choose the wrong colt to mess with. His name should have been a dead giveaway. Wild Pitch got his cutie mark today. He was good at pitching and when he threw the ball.
*Ding! Splash! Bzzz!*
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Parcel Post fell into the deadly electrified water. Everypony stared while he struggled to get out. After a couple a seconds of struggling...Parcel Post was dead. Someponies cheered while others just walked away without a care. Hey, Nurse Red Heart what happened to him.
"I hated this stallion reading my mail. Anyways when he fell into the water and was electrocuted. Electricity was going through different parts of his body. Then it started attacking his heart. The heart shut down and he died in a matter of seconds.
Parcel Post was a bad pony that delivered mail. Well, Parcel I got a mail from 1000 Ways To Die.
"Dear Parcel. You're next in line...To die."
Way To Die #81: Mail Order Fried
Author's Note
Sorry it took so long. I was moving to another city but now i'm settled in.
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Storm Watch & Violet Rain (Created by infernape612)
Date: March 18, 2018
“One more drink!!”
“Sir I have to cut you off!! Now goodnight!!” The pony bartender said kicking the grey coat pony out of the bar.
“Fucker!!”
Everypony meet Storm Watch. A drunken Pegasus who drinks, and…That’s it he just drinks. He drinks in the day, noon, afternoon, and night. Storm Watch works as a weather pony and makes the weather at his job. Amazing how he even got a job.
Every day he worked he came in completely drunk. Everypony at his job hated him. Instead of working he doubled the work. Put a cloud someplace wrong. Make some clouds rain, snow, or maybe even making it scorching hot or blistering cold when the weather wasn't supposed to be that way.
“Listen Storm Watch I need you to work on some storm clouds today we need some downpour today.” His boss told him and saw he was drinking from a whiskey bottle and smacks it out off his hooves. “Stop drinking and do your job!!”
“Yeah okay, whatever I got it!!” Storm Watch went to go do his job but stopped by his locker he had at work to get another whiskey bottle. Drinking is a big addiction right Berry Punch.
“Drinking could be a big addiction for many ponies. I drink quite a bit. I’m not going to lie I have a problem. Still, you must know when to put the bottle down. My addiction was getting worse every day and I realized I had a family to take care off. I still drink but I put the bottle down sometimes. This pony is going into a dangerous addiction that if he keeps going it he will not be able to break it.”
Storm Watch started drinking in high school and said he would stop after he graduated. He didn’t. He was working on the storm clouds while drinking whiskey. When his whiskey bottle fell on the cloud he tried to reach for it.
“Wait!! Storm Watch!!” His boss shouted.
*Bzzzzzzzzz!!!!*
“AHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
Storm Watch stomped on a bad part of the storm cloud and got electrocuted by a lightning bolt. His boss tried to warn him, but it was too late. Then he fell. He was already dead, so he didn’t even need the fall to die. How did this storm cloud kill him Rainbow Dash?
“A lightning bolt can hold about one billion volts. Depending on where you stomp you can get a simple shock which is non-lethal, but this Pegasus stomped on the wrong place sending one billion volts into his body stopping his heart. It shut down his major organs. He was cooked and he died.”
Storm Watch liked to drink. He never wanted to put the bottle down. He never put it down so instead he got shocked and he went down…Six thousand meters.
Way To Die #82: DWI (Dying While Intoxicated)
Date: March 18, 2018
What do we have here? Another death on the same day.
“Hey freeze right there!!” A police officer shouted.
A mare was running away. Meet Violet Rain a serial rapist. She loved to get it down with anypony or any species. She’s been on the run and nopony can catch her. She was fast for an earth pony. Now let’s be honest maybe she was desperate. Maybe she turned this way because nopony or species wanted her. No, the real reason was she was in heat. Sure, she a still a rapist around the year because she loved to have sex and she was hypersexual. She would think about it all day. However, when she was in heat nothing could stop her from getting a stallion or mare. Or any species.
One day she was hiding from the cops in an alleyway. Her heat was killing her, so she decided to pleasure herself. Then an earth pony stallion working at a video game store just got out of work and left through the backdoor. Think about how Violet Rain felt when a stallion came out that looked mighty fine. She took out her knife and was ready.
“Hey big boy come her I want to show you something.”
However, this stallion knew who she was. “Hey, I know who you are. You're all over the news. Get away!! I’m already taken!!”
“Oh well don’t worry I’m sure your lover won’t mind sharing.”
The stallion tried to run but didn’t make it far. The alleyway was a dead end. Violet Rain got closer with her knife. The stallion closed his eyes thinking all hope was lost.
*Crack!!!!*
The stallion opened his eyes when he heard something crack. He saw Violet Rain on the ground with a stallion on top of her. Who was that stallion? Why it’s Storm Watch.
When Storm Watch fell he landed right on Violet Rain. Nurse Red Heart what just happened?
“When this body of this stallion fell from six thousand meters that was enough force to break the rooftop of a car. That’s enough to break this mare’s skull right open. Her skull cracked next her stomach hit the ground and with that force on her. Her ribs broke and punctured her lungs making her unable to suck in oxygen. Those two injuries caused her to die.
The stallion was freed and ran off.
Violet Rain loved to have sex with anything that walked. Faust from above decided to that today she would get…Cockblocked.
Way To Die #83: Death From Above
Author's Note
Coming up we go to the human world and meet a strange person in an ice cream truck. Then we meet some girls that get into a dirty fight.
Date: July 25, 2018
Well, look what we have here. A girl that has parked an ice cream truck where there are no kids around. Why. Well, let me introduce you to Sugar Socks. She was in an ice cream truck and two grown men came up to it.
“Two strawberry popsicles.” One man said with a wink.
Sugar Socks grabbed two boxes that said strawberry popsicles but instead of having a popsicle in it. It had weed. She gave the men what they wanted, and they paid up. Sugar Socks had a job at Sweet Snacks Cafe but working there wasn’t paying her bills. She decided to start selling drugs since it paid well.
She came up with this brilliant disguise. Instead of frozen treats, she sold weed, pills, powders to any person that wanted one. One day weed was in short supply. She only had one left so she raised the price on it and most people didn’t want to pay up for it. She wasn’t the only one that sold drugs in a disguise, in fact, we have a human named Underhood here that knows all about it.
“I gave up selling drugs years ago but the most innovative way I’ve done to sell drugs basically the name of it was hide and go seek. You pay me somewhere else say a simple workplace or any other place and I'm dressed as a worker. I place the drugs somewhere hidden and you go pick it up there and it’s all good and you don’t get caught…Most of the time.”
Sugar Socks was having a regular day. She had business men looking for some lunch time coke.
“Regular sir.”
“Yeah give me the usual that I always get."
She had hardcore junkies as well. However, her favorite was jumping meth heads that paid extreme prices. One day she was done and looking at her money. Then she realized that she never sold the weed. It stared at her and tempted her. She decided how bad could it be to do it once. That was an idiotic move. She lit it up. Underhood what problem could that cause.
“That’s a stupid thing to do. Someone who's working and selling shouldn’t be smoking or eating it on the clock. It could mess you up and it can blow your cover easily. She was. I’m sorry for the language but she was…fucked.”
As soon as Sugar Socks took one try of the weed. She began to hallucinate.
“Woah this is good…Wait are those clowns over there.”
She began seeing clowns with guns around her. She saw a gun and grabbed it.
“Fuck you I’m not afraid of clowns.”
She began shooting the clowns. In reality, she took off her clothes left her light blue under garments on and had a stick and was pretending to shoot clowns that weren’t there. When people came up to her to buy something they saw what she was doing and walked the other way. Some took a picture of her with their phones before they left or filmed it. However, one simple person walking called the police on her and they drove up to Sugar Coat. She saw them but, in her eyes, it was a clown car coming to her.
"You ain't going to catch me, you clowns!!"
She got in her ice cream truck and the police began having a high-speed chase.
Sugar Socks was running over clowns and going down a highway causing major problems. Finally her hallucination ended.
“Huh…What’s going on…Where are my clothes!” Then she saw a car heading her way.
“AHHHH!!!” She hit the brakes but. It was too late
*Crash!!! Crack!!!*
She hit the car and went straight through the glass and slammed right into the hood of the other car. Cracking her skull. She was dead but luckily the police chase was over. Also, the other person driving the car was okay.
“Woah…I think she didn’t survive that.” A cop said
Nurse Red Heart what are her injuries.
"When she slammed into the car full force. She went through the glass window imbedding shrapnel into her face causing her to have internal bleeding in her skull which cracked once she slammed her face into the hood of the car. Also, her chest and ribs that slammed into the hood as well would crack. The ribs bones cracking led to the impaling of her lungs and cracking of the chest bones led to the impaling of her heart and she died instantly."
Sugar Socks was a drug dealing Ms. Freeze. However, when she decided to try one drug on herself. She lost her clothes, her mind. Her business. And her life...She got creamed.
Way To Die #84: Clownin’ Around
Date: November 2, 2015
"Come on girls we need money!!!"
You hear that bitch yelling. Meet Fleur De Lis. She is yelling at the Crystal Prep girls because the money in the schools budget is pretty low. Due to the friendship games and the damage they have done to the school they had to pay for the damages. Fleur De Lis has been thinking of ideas to raise the money. The ideas she had the girls hated. One idea that Sugar Coat hated a bunch was selling pictures of her naked body.
"Just let Photo Finish do her job!!!" Fleur shouted.
Sugar Coat sighed and bent over showing her butt. Giving it a playful smack and wiggle as Photo Finish took pictures of it making her blush. Fleur did anything to raise money. The picture did raise a bunch of money but Fleur had a plan that would involve every single girl in Crystal Prep to get dirty. Quite literally.
"Mud Wrestling!!! Are you serious!!!" Sour Sweet shouted.
"Yes, I am serious!!!" Fleur shouted while holding a hose spraying water creating more mud.
Fleur was going to film the girls and get the money they needed. A girl put a bell on the floor for the fight to start.
"I'm not doing this." Sour Sweet said.
"What did you say you little bitch!!!" Fleur Shouted
"I said I am not doing this!!!"
"Oh you're doing it and so are the rest of the girls," Fleur said pulling Sour Sweet's hair making her fall into the mud.
Sour Sweet grabbed Fleur also making her fall into the mud. One of the girls rang the bell and they began filming this fight. Fleur was pushing Sour Sweet's face into the mud but she grabbed Fleur and began ripping her clothes. Finally, Sour Sweet grabbed Fleur's shirt and ripped it and didn't stop there. She then ribbed Fleur's top making her blush and trying to cover herself up now Sour Sweet had the advantage and tackled Fleur down. That is a popular move in mud fighting. We have a girl named Tap Out that knows all about mud fighting.
"Mud fighting does take skill. It's not just a simple fight. You in a slippery area not in a regular ring and you have to be ready for anything. A good move that is not against the rule is ripping the top off your opponent. Whenever I do this my opponent will try to cover herself up and leave her stun giving me a good time to strike."
Fleur also rippped of Sour Sweets clothes off. Now they were both butt naked. Finally Fleur got on top of Sour Sweet and looked like she was about to win. The girl decided to break it up but Fleur pulled them all into the mud. Sugar Coat who was completely mad and pushed Fluer and
*Stab*
"Bleugh!! Bleugh!!" Fleur began to cough but she was coughing up blood.
"Oh my god, Fleur!!!" Sugar Coat shouted
Fleur landed on the bell that was on the ground and thanks to all the fighting with Sour Sweet the bell got damaged and had a sharp piece of metal sticking out. Fleur fell and stabbed her heart. She struggled for a while and then she was dead. Nurse Red Heart what would happen to her when her heart got stabbed.
"When this patient punctured her heart. The heart is still pumping blood but it's pumping blood out. The body cannot get the blood it needs to function all the organs began to shut down. Then the patient would die a rapid death."
Fleur wanted to help out the Crystal Prep Girls by getting money by any means necessary. Porn was one-way of getting it. Many people said she had no heart. Well there right now. She now has no heart...At all.
Way To Die #85: Killed By The Bell
Date: August 4, 2002
Welcome to this prison in Manehattan. This prison holds the worse ponies in this city. Some have done murders, drugs, theft, and other such things. They all have one thing in common they both usually end in death.
The prison was having one of its usually days fights breaking out and officers having to break it up. However, today one pony was outside of the prison to meet one pony that was on the inside. Meet Key Tripper. He was about to join a cult called The Dark Shadows. A cult that has a tight hold on drug dealing in Manehattan. Tripper was here to meet The leader Quick Shot. He was talking to him through the glass.
"Are you ready Key Tripper to be part of the Dark Shadows."
"Y-Yeah I am I-I mean I-I know I am. W-What I meant was. U-Um Yes." Key Tripper stuttered stupidly.
Key Tripper was not the brightest bulb but he was the only pony that Quick Shot has for his escape plan out of prison. It was a simple plan all Tripper had to do was get thrown in prison and break him out by bringing a key so they could escape. However, he tried making a key and he failed trying to do that so instead he would get thrown in prison while hiding a weapon that they can escape with. Joining a clan isn't rare in prison just listen to this police officer Badger.
"Most ponies join clans in prison due to them being afraid that they will be attacked, tortured, or even getting killed if you're not in the clan. Sometimes you have more than one clan in prisons and fights can break out. They have to prove themselves worthy to join and they have done some crazy stuff to join. Some that I don't even want to share what I've seen."
Once Key Tripper committed a crime he got thrown in prison and got thrown in the same room with Quick Shot and one night it was time to start their plan.
"Okay, so where is the key?" Quick Shot asked.
"Uhh..I..Don't have it." Key Tripper said sweating.
"What!!!" Quick shot shouted enraged.
"Chill I got something better."
"What?"
"A grenade." Key Tripper whispered.
"Really. Where is it hidden?"
"Uh...Well." Key Tripper pointed at his tail hole and finally, it clicked in Quick Shot's mind where he hid the grenade.
"You fuckin idiot!!! Ugh whatever bend over!!!"
Key Tripper did what he was told and Quick Shot got to work and put his hoof up Key Tripper's Rectum.
"Ahhh!!!"
"Stop shouting so loud you want us to get caught!!!"
One officer heard them but when he heard Key Tripper say a little to the left he decided to pretend he didn't hear anything.
Finally after two hours of torture for Key Tripper Quick Shot felt something he yanked it out. When he saw what he had his eyes widened. It was a pin.
*KABOOM!!!*
It was the pin from the grenade. The officers heard the noise and opened the door. They saw Key Trippers rectum obliterated and Quick Shot's face was covered in blood. They were both dead.
"Ewww. Get two body bags. This is disgusting." One officer said.
So what happened to them Nurse Redheart.
"When the gernade went off in the ponies rectum it pretty much obliterated the passageway causing massive bleeding and organ damage. The other pony was close to the explosion causing embed sharp pieces of shrapnel from the gernade into his brain. Also, he was very close to the explosion which damaged his skull. They both died instantly."
In prison, you join a clan. You live through the clan and then...You die in the clan like these two.
Way To Die #86: Fire In The Asshole
Date: August 4, 2017
I hear bloodhounds barking and they are after an earth pony named Smoky. Smoky was in some serious trouble selling bombs to any pony that had the bits to buy them. Now the police in Canterlot are after him. This wasn't the first time he's been running for his life. He was a master of losing the cops. Many prisoners escape Canterlot. This happens more than the cops like you to know. A cop known as Bullet Proof can tell you more about it.
"I've seen prisoners escape in many ways one was digging a hole and keeping it hidden. Some try pulling the bars of their cell for a long period of time until the bars become bent and are bent enough for them to squeeze through. The craziest idea I've seen is a pony starving himself to make himself skinny enough to squeeze through the bars. There are plenty more that I've heard of but I can't tell them all it's just too many. However, we catch them a few days later."
Smoky has never been caught and he wasn't planning to. If he would get caught he would have gotten a life sentence or even banished? Maybe even death. The last bomb he sold to a customer tried to hurt the two princesses Celestia and Luna now he wanted everywhere The cops had him in their sights. Smoky was on the edge of a cliff but he saw water down there without even thinking he jumped.
"Fuck he jumped!!" One of the cops said. However, he saw Smoky was alive and was swimming. "I need back up now he's getting away!!"
Smoky knew he didn't have much time left but then he saw a sewage pipe. Smoky saw a hole to freedom. He wiggled his way in and once the cops got to the lake Smoky fell in it was too late.
"Shit!!" one of cops shouted
Now Smoky was going deeper into the sewage pipe. This sewage pipe smelled and for Smoky, it felt like it went on for miles. After two hours Smoky realized the pipe got smaller then he realized he was stuck.
"Oh no. Please no. No!!"
He tried for hours to get unstuck.
"Help!! Please!! I'm sorry I'll go to jail just get me out of here!!"
Smoky began to cry. He wanted to pay for his crimes. Then all of sudden he heard something. Did somepony here him he saw little eyes then he saw dozens of eyes.
"Who's there?!!"
When the eyes got closer Smoky saw dozens of rats.
"Ahhhh!!!!" Smoky screamed in fear. He had the right to be scared because to the rats Smoky was in their way. Fluttershy why is Smoky screwed?
"Rats teeth are really strong. They can bite through wood, solid brick, cement, and some can even bite through metal. Rats can squeeze almost anywhere but if somethings in their way and they don't like it they are going to go through it and...Take care of it."
The rats bit through Smoky's eyes as he screamed in pain and gnawed on his bones. The rats finally began eating his brain until finally Smoky was dead and the rats made him nothing but a skeleton.
Smoky was a bad pony and he didn't want to get got. He got the death sentence alright. He also learned that death...Bites.
Way To Die #87: Vermin-Ated
Date: May 2, 2005
"Your Princesses will die today!"
We're back in the old ages. Double Heart is a soldier fighting for the crown. She's about to duel with a soldier that protects the princesses. Quick Draw.
"Hang on. Wait, don't move. Cut!"
"Are you kidding me!" Shouted Double Heart.
But it's not really the old ages where someponies use to try to take over Equestria.
"You're the one making us take so long what are we doing wrong!" Double Heart said.
The Director gave her a stern stare. The Director known as Camera Roll wanted this film to be perfect. His career was going down the drain. However, he wasn't the only pony that had their career going down the drain. Double Heart used to be in lead roles in many big films. Now she's just another pony looking to play anypony no matter what the role is. In this movie, Quick Draw plays the lead, the heroic soldier. She was angered about that. In this next scene, Double Heart is supposed to duel with Quick Draw and she was supposed to pretend to die. She hated that after this scene she was done.
" Let's take a break." Camera Roll said.
The low rent production company should have done better background checks on its actors. If they had, they would have known Double Heart had a criminal record as big as her ego. She wanted the lead role and would do anything to get it she decided to play with the gun she had. The flintlock pistols the ponies has were filled with blanks but Double Heart hid two things from everypony in one of her saddlebags a real lead ball and a bag full of gun powder. When no pony was looking she put in the gun powder and then the ball in the pistol and couldn't wait for the scene to start again. Quick Draw's death would be seen as an accident from the ponies in charge of the guns. We got a pony names Quick Scope who's an expert at guns what d you have to say about this pistol.
"The flintlock pistol was a very simple mechanism. You put the powder charge in, you put a ball on top of it. Whatever the caliber was. Close the prism, which ignited the powder. It's a normal type of pistol and back then it was a powerful weapon to have. Not the most powerful but still powerful."
"Everpony ready! Action!"
Quick Draw and Double Heart were turned away from each other.
"And One" Camera Roll counted off their steps "Two. Three."
Soon, Double Heart would have the lead role.
"Four."
Her and Quick Draw turned and pointed their pistols at each other.
"Fire!"
*Boom!!*
"Aaaah!!!!"
That loud boom wasn't the gun firing it was the gun exploding in Double Heats hoof.
"Oh! Oh, no! Cut, cut, cut!"
Looks like her plan backfired. Double Heart made a fatal error when loading her pistol. She used way too much gunpowder. When she pulled the trigger, the pistol became a deadly hand grenade. Excessive powder blew up the barrel, blew up her hoof, and shrapnel from the barrel cut deeply into her leg. Severing her femoral artery. Hey, Nurse Red Heart what happened to Double Heart.
"A pony who has her hoof blown off from that injury would suffer some blood loss. Not major. This poor pony died because of the cutting of her femoral artery, which resulted in blood loss from her heart going to her lower extremity. And that causes death.”
Finally, after a minute of struggling on the floor Double Heart was dead. Double Heart wanted the lead role and would do anything to get it. Well, Double Heart I got a lead role for you on 1000 Ways To Die. Cut. That was perfect Doube Heart. Your death scene is...Very believable.
Way To Die #88: Straight To DVDead
Author's Note
Coming up we got a human that wants to get high and do anything for it.
Author's Note
It's been a long time since an update. I've gone to a new website posting stories there. Still, I'm going to keep this story here.
Crimson Napalm
Date: May 19, 2016
Crimson Naplam is off the leash and on the lash. He robbed a bank and escaped on his motorcycle. He's in the woods with a simple fire. Now he's got enough money for his next plan. A meth lab. It was time to celebrate. What did that mean for him? That meant drinking. Cheap booze never tasted so good for him as he drank it straight from the bottle enjoying his victory of robbing the bank.
"Woah no cop ain't ever gonna catch me now. I'll make a new identity and then start selling meth and really start making money!" Crimson shouted.
He tried to put the bottle down but
*Crack!*
Oops looks like he put it down to forceful. Now all the booze is on the ground and gone.
"What! Oh, come on what the fuck!!!"
He couldn't just go buy another one. He needed to lay low for the heat to die down before he could waltz into another place that sells alcohol. Desperate enough to do anything he turned to his motorcycle and gets an idea. He loves his motorcycle. He also loves the gasoline he bought for it. He remembered he bought some gasoline for it and had it in a gas can and it was full. he took it out of his backpack. Why? Well, Human Twilight why don't you educate us.
"Gasoline is a pretty complex mixture it has about a hundred different hydrocarbons in it including things like benzyne and toluene which are very toxic. However, it also has ethynol as well."
Ethynol in Crimson's head was another name for alcohol. he reasoned that since his motorcycle can be fueled by booze. It could fuel him enough to get drunk. He drank straight from the gas carrier. Would he get drunk? Not at all. The only thing you get from drinking gasoline. Is death. Human Twilight explain.
"If one were to drink gasoline to try to get the effects of ethynol. What they would get instead is probably an immediate response from their stomach that they're going to vomit."
Crimson began to vomit and instead of getting a buzz he felt like a buzzsaw was cutting through his stomach.
"Next what would happen would be the toxins would affect the human body as well. It would shut down all organ functions and could result in death."
Crimson was close to death. Things couldn't get any worse until he vomited on the fire and then-
*Fwosh!*
he caught on fire. Robbing a bank was a stupid idea. Drinking gasoline even worse.
"Ahhh!!!" He screamed and tried to roll to stop the fire. However, with gasoline in his stomach, it made the fire turn him into a blazing inferno. Finally after a minute of struggling. Crimson was cooked inside and outside. Human Twilight explain the cause of death.
"When the fire began to burn him. The first thing that was to get burned was his nerve endings. Those will be burned away, but the fire will keep going. Most of his skin was probably completely burnt off or was badly burnt. His stomach full of gasoline made the fire increase burning him on the inside. Destroying his vital organs and killing him. The toxins he drank made him about half-dead the fire made him completely dead"
Many wonder what was going through Crimson's mind when he was dying. Maybe this was a terrible idea. Probably not. He was probably too busy screaming. Crimson wanted to get lit...Well, he sure did.
Way To Die #89: Gas-Hole
Date: December 2, 2018
"Yeah!!!! Louder!!!!"
Look at that girl listening to sweet rock n' roll. Say hello to Cherry Crash. She loves to play it, hear it, and breathe it. Right now she was listening to Christmas music on her loudspeaker full blast. Everyone in the apartment hated her. Since she played loud music all day and night. Right now it was three in the morning and she was still rockin out.
*Bang Bang*
Cherry Crash heard someone hitting the side of the wall.
"Go to bed some of us are trying to sleep!!!!" Her neighbor shouted.
Cherry Crash didn't listen and kept on listening to her music. No Silent Night for her. One thing Cherry Crash liked to do was jump on her bed while listening to music. She started smashing her air guitar into pieces hitting her drumsticks into toothpicks.
"Wooo!!!!"
What is it that makes people go crazy over this music will we got a person here that makes rock n roll music that may be able to help. Crowd Surfer you know about this music and how it makes people feel tell us why Cherry Crash is acting this way.
"When you're in the music you don't pay attention to anything around you. Like me when I'm rockin out normal people they think I'm a crazy guy. However, a person who really understands music knows that I am one with the music and about to reach Nirvana."
Cherry Crash was going to go all out tonight.
"Here comes the best part Five Golden Rings!!!!!" Cherry Crash sang as Relient K's song of their cover of Twelve Days Of Christmas was playing.
She opened her window from her apartment so people outside her apartment could hear her music tonight. That was the last straw for the neighbor. He called the police it took a while for them to show up due to the snow. Once the police showed up to the apartment complex. The cops went up to her room and kicked the door down.
"Cherry Crash we've gotten noise complaints about you playing you're loud music! " One of the cops said.
"Oh, that's too bad! I'm not sorry!" Cherry Crash said laughing and jumping on her bed.
The cops went up to her but Cherry Crash had a plan. She saw her window open and she remembered that it has snowed for a couple of days. She jumped out the window believing that the snow would lessen her fall from the second floor. She closed her eyes and jumped out the window before the cops could grab her.
*Crash!!!!*
What was that? Well, that was Cherry Crash not hitting the snow piled on the ground. That was Cherry Crash landing on the cop car parked near her window. Killing her instantly.
"Oh, Shit!" One of the cops shouted.
Hey Human Twilight what happened to her.
"When she fell from the second floor on to the cop car. She landed front first causing the shrapnel of the window of the car to get embedded inside her body causing massive bleeding. Another thing is she landed with enough force to crack her skull, ribs, and her spinal cord. The brain couldn't send any messages to the body which caused the organs to shut down and that caused her to die instantly.
Cherry Crash loved Rock n' Roll. She loved to play it all day and night. Hey Crowd Surfer what have you got to say about this death?
"I think the band she was listening to should dedicate the next album or song to her."
Way To Die # 90: Guitar Zero
Date: May 3, 2018
This girl in her own basement can't hear you. She has her headphones on and she has the volume all the way up to the max. She's shaking in her seat is she okay. Not really. She's listening to noises that is getting her high. Welcome to the drug land of the future and Raspberry Fluff was one of the leaders of it.
Raspberry sold digital drugs. She made it and sold it to any person that wanted it. She'd put the stuff she made on a USB. The person pays up and she gives it to them no questions asked. The proper term of what she was selling is called iDose or Binaural Beat Therapy. Human Vinyl knows more about this.
"iDoseing it's a process by which two different frequencies which are similar and played into opposite ears simultaneously using stereo headphones. What your brain does when these beats are playing it makes the brain go into a different state of mind. I've heard many stories of people getting addicted to it all the time. I love dubstep and I Pinkie Promised to my girl I would never ever do iDosing."
Raspberry would make the beats and listen to them herself to get her high. Also, she made beats that would make herself orgasm and beats that would make her feel like her mind was on a full-on LSD trip. Once she knew it was good she would sell it.
Raspberry's customers were a combination of super nerds and junkies. All they had to do was know the secret knock and when to knock. Raspberry would take a break from iDosing at Five o'clock in the afternoon to Seven o'clock at night. Once she heard the knock on her basement trap door that was in her backyard she would open it and sell the USB holding the beats to the person if they had the cash.
Raspberry was living the good life but her social life was gone. Her friends left her after she stopped meeting them and she was always indoors. She would usually go out but people knew she didn't get enough sleep with the bags around her eyes and usually just went out to get groceries or other stuff she needed to live. One night though she wanted to get more customers to buy her stuff. She needed something new to get more customers. She got her hands on some military experimental infrasound equipment. Human Quick Scope knows about this stuff.
"These sounds that the military uses typically operate between zero to twenty hertz. It could be pretty lethal if used in the correct way. This stuff really isn't really open to anyone. However, it could be found or purchased through some digging on the internet. Even though people try to stop this stuff from being found it really doesn't look like the problem will be taken care of anytime soon."
Raspberry was working on these beats to make a new drug for her customers. It started to do the trick for her and everything seemed to go fine at first. However, the beats she started to make made her nauseous. She got dizzy and then she realized something was wrong she tried to turn off what she made but then she defecated in her pants. Then her heart started beating to fast.
"AGGH!!!" she tried to scream but then. "PFFFFT!!! Blood came out of her mouth, nose, and ears.
With the power off button just a few inches away. It was too late for Raspberry. Human Nurse Red Heart can you explain what happened here.
"With these beats that she was listening to it would cause damage to the eardrums it would also lead to cellular cavitation which is vaporizing the liquid in the cells in almost every organ due to these beats. The organs would then bleed making the patient bleed through the mouth, nose, and ears. Which would ultimately lead to death."
Raspberry wanted to get more customers. She was trying to look for the ultimate high but all she did was damage her eardrums. Made her organs bleed and give us...Another interesting way to die.
Way To Die #91: Hertz Hurt
Date: August 2, 2018
Welcome to Las Pegasus. What happens there stays there. Except for this story. Here we have a pony sweeping the floors at a simple lottery place. Say hello to Glademane. He works for Mop Sweeper's Company. He used to be a big shot owned a big hotel and was at the top. It all came crashing down when Fluttershy and Applejack made him reveal the truth. Now that place is controlled by Flim and Flam. Glademane was pissed about it but at least he had a job that payed well. When he was done he walked back to the company but then a co-worker stopped him.
"Hey Glademane. Remember the drug test is coming up next week." The co-worker said.
"Yeah I know I got it." Glademane said. He walked to the bathroom and realized he was in deep trouble. "Shit!!" Glademane turned to drugs after he lost most of his stuff. He knew he would fail the test if he didn't find a way around it. He researched if anything could be done. Then he finally got something a pony that worked at a hospital and also worked in the black market selling blood that was his blood type. Glademane had and idea. Run the clean blood into his body and cheat the drug test to keep his job and keep snorting the good stuff he loved.
Glademane waited in an alleyway at night for the pony selling the blood. Finally the pony came covering himself with a hoodie.
"You got the money I got the blood." The pony said
Gladmane gave him the money.
"Enjoy it." The pony said.
Gladmane felt a little weird the pony said that. Did he think he was going to drink the blood. That pony did look strange. He shrugged it off and was finally ready for the day to cheat the drug test. He left the bag in his refrigerator in his apartment. Finally once the day came he was ready. He took the blood out of the refrigerator. He went in early to work and went inside one of the bathrooms locked the door and began to inject himself with the blood. It seemed to be working at first until..."Huff! Huff! Huff!." Glademane began to breath strangely. He clutched his chest and as soon as the blood hit his heart. "Agh!!!"
*Plop*
He fell dead on the bathroom floor. What happened you ask. Glademane injected the blood inside him when it was cold. Bad idea. Nurse Snow Heart what happened when the blood hit his heart.
" This pony believed that he could cheat the blood test by doing this. That was foolish it's not possible. The blood was kept at thirty eight degrees and when it's that cold and it is injected into a body it could have serious side effect especially to the heart. It will effect the natural pacemaker of the heart leading the heart to have irregular heat beats. This would lead to ventricular fibrillation which is deadly. Which killed this pony."
As plans go this one had more holes in it than a junkies hoof. Glademane was a big shot but he lied his way to the top and lost everything. Well he lost one more thing...His life.
Way To Die #92: Lost In Transfusion
Date: July 21, 2008
Okay everypony meet Orchid Jewel a simple business pony that never really has a day to relax because she had a stressful job, but it paid well. She was a pony that never really had a minute to spare. She lived in a neighborhood that was middle class. Everything in her life was close to okay. However, her neighbor who lived next to her was an environmentalist. His name is Reuse. She didn't care about the environment and every time she came from work, she would here Reuse tell her something.
"Hey, Jewel, I know your busy, but I saw you in the morning throwing some plastic cups in the trash do you mind throwing them in your recycle bin."
"How about stop stalking me when I’m throwing my trash away and if I ever see you watching me, I'll shove my trash up your tail hole!!" Jewel shouted.
"No need to get all violent." Reuse said while throwing away stuff in his recycle bin.
Once Jewel was in her house, she grabbed a pillow from her bed and screamed in it. She has had a stressful day and tomorrow looked like it was going to be even more stressful. However, she had something that would help her take care of that. Due to her stressful job. Jewel had become a Geophage. That means she's a pony that has a habit of eating clay, mud or dirt. Twilight explain to us more about this habit.
" Geophage is a disorder where a pony is either eating dirt because they are lacking something nutritionally or because they are using it to manage their anxiety and stress."
Jewel had been eating dirt for awhile now but where did she get it. At a park. However, she was worried somepony would see her picking up dirt and question her. Then she realized the closest dirt patch she had was Reuser's garden. She would sneak into his garden and take some dirt put it in a plastic bag and eat it in her house. Good deal. Well not really. If Reuse saw her, he would have told Jewel to stop because what Jewel didn't realize was Reuser's dirt was a homemade mixture of compost of his own waste matter. Nurse Red Heart why is that bad.
"When somepony ingests fecal matter, they're ingesting the waste product of our digestive system. They can contract several diseases. One of those being Escherichia coli also known as E. coli."
Jewel had contracted a deadly strain of E. coli. Her symptoms included nausea and diarrhea but no fever. She thought she had a mild flu.
"Ugh what is wrong with me...Blugh!" Jewel said while vomiting.
She didn't bother to see a doctor and bought medicine. However, that didn't work and after three days the E. coli bacteria inflamed her colon and spread throughout her digestive tract. Eventually her kidneys began to fail. Poisoning the rest of her body. Finally.
*Plop*
Within a week she fell dead near her toilet. Red Heart explain a bit more about E. coli.
"More Virulent strains of E. coli can actually cause what we call bloody diarrhea and this results and not only hemorrhage, but it can actually invade the kidneys. Which could kill somepony."
Jewel ate dirt like there was no tomorrow. Good thing she did because when she ate it her days were numbered. Now there is definitely...No tomorrow for her.
Way To Die #93: Potty Mouth
Blue Tail (Created by Atlas INC)
Date: November 26, 2006
"Come on you piece of shit!!!"
You hear that. That is Blue Tail pissed off that her Murphy Bed is stuck and will not come out. Blue Tail is a female Hippogriff with a white coat and blue mane. Her life is at a new low right now. She lives in an apartment and she used to have a job until she was fired for sleeping on the job. She was lazy and now she had to find a way to pay the rent for the apartment.
She had tried every job she could do. Working at a bar was fine for a week until she started a bar fight and almost destroyed the entire bar. She also tried working as a stripper however, one night one stallion got a bit rough which also turned into another fight and another pink slip.
Right now, all she cared about was a goodnight rest after another failed attempt to find a job.
"I'm going to need help with this bed."
She decided to call somepony to help fix the bed. Soft Pillow knows all about bed malfunctions why don't you tell us about it.
"I've seen many bed malfunctions they can be electrical or non-electrical. It depends on what the problem is. Sometime the springs may be loose, the remote to control the bed may not be working, the Murphy Bed may be stuck which is happening to this Hippogriff. I've had many calls about that complaint, and I've also seen a couple who broke their bed while having fun in it. I don't know how they were able to do that, and I don't think I wanna know how."
Once the pony came Blue Tail told her what was wrong the pony decided to help her out by modifying the bed with a remote so it would come out with a simple press of a button.
"I can do this for a simple price of four hundred bits." The pony said.
"Uhh...Sure I guess that's fine." Blue Tail said.
Once the pony was done, she got the bill and she tested out the bed and it worked.
"Great another bill to pay. If I can't find a job sooner or later, I’m doomed. It's not my fault every job I get everypony or any creature is fuckin stupid and makes me mad! " Blue Tail shouted. She sighed and decided to sleep and try to find a job tomorrow until she heard somepony bang on her door.
"Blue Tail come on out you haven't paid!!"
Blue Tail gasped it was Combo the pony who owned the apartment complex.
"Oh shit." she whispered she had to find a place to hide. Then she thought of an idea the bed. She pressed the button and it opened quite forcefully. She got on it and pressed it making her and the bed fold up. It was a tight fit but once Combo finally came in, he saw nothing. He looked around and decided she wasn't here right now.
"I'll be back later and then I'll kick her out."
Once he was gone Blue Tail pressed the button on the remote and she was home free now all she needed to do was press a button to hide anytime Combo came to look for her. Then all of a sudden, the bed folded up again and the remote was on it.
"What..No!! Wait!!" The remote was now folded with the bed.
When the pony that came to fix it told her the bill, she began to worry about the bill, but the pony was still talking. He was saying that the button should be pressed for at least five seconds or else the bed will fold up on its own. Now Blue Tail had to open the bed the old-fashioned way.
After hours off trying Blue Tail had another problem. She heard a bang at the door again.
"Blue Tail you in there!!" Combo shouted.
Blue Tail pulled with all her might and again until finally the bed was freeing itself but got stuck on something. Finally, with one final tug the bed came lose but all of a sudden.
"Ahhh!!!" *Splat*
The bed came down and splatted Blue Tail.
"Blue Tail!! You in there or what!! Blue Tail!!"
What happened to Blue Tail. Well the thing that got stuck was the remote and it got stuck on the gears of the bed to open it up. Once the remote broke by the gears it malfunctioned and with Blue Tail forcefully pulling on the bed it sprang loose to fast and she got splatted like a pancake. Nurse Snowheart why don't you tell us what happened to her.
"Once the bed fell on her with such powerful force her skull cracked damaging the brain, her spinal cord cracked shutting down all functions of the body and if that wasn't enough her ribs cracked puncturing her lungs making her unable to breath and she was dead."
Combo came in and saw the bloody mess under the bed.
"Oh, my Celestia!! Blue Tail!! Blue Tail!!"
Blue Tail tried to find her job. Her temper got the best of her. She just wanted to relax and rest. Well she got what she wanted. Rest in peace Blue Tail...Or should I say pieces.
Way To Die #94: The ~~Monster~~ Griffon Under The Bed
Date: September 18, 2008
"Sleep little ones. Sleep." A pony whispering to his bag. Now he isn’t crazy even though everypony else looking at him in the train station is looking at him thinking he is crazy. Say hello to Bird Catcher and earth pony stallion. You could say he is in the import business. His specialty. Exotic birds. He smuggles them and tapes them down in his luggage and sells them to whoever pays up the most. He is a wildlife smuggler. Fluttershy what do you have to say about wildlife smugglers.
"Humph wildlife smugglers are awful! Um sorry about yelling. Wildlife smuggling as an illicit industry which generates twenty billion bits a year worldwide but is awful for the animals. They are sometimes hurt or even die when they are smuggled by these ponies. They sell them for either collectors or to some others that like to eat these animals. It's just awful."
Bird Catcher got on the train and when the ponies checked his bag, they saw nothing. He knew how to hide the birds very well. Bird Catcher was a natural at hiding things it would take a couple of hours for the train to arrive to his destination. So, he decided to take a little nap. He sure had a long day finding those birds, so he deserved it. Four hours later the train had not arrived at its destination. After a four-hour nap Bird Catcher wakes up a very sick pony.
" I don't feel so well."
Someponies began to take notice. He went to the bathroom coughing violently. Finally, he thought he just had a mild sickness and went back to his seat. He began to sweat profusely. Then he began vomiting liquid. Ponies began to scream and the workers on the train came to see what was going on.
"Oh my. Sir are you alright."
"What's happening to m- *Blugh!!*" Bird Catcher couldn't finish his sentence as he vomited again.
Finally, after a minute of everpony yelling and screaming about what's going on. Bird Catcher lands on the ground dead. One of the workers checks Bird Catcher's bag to see if he had something in there that made him sick. He checked it carefully and saw exotic birds in there. Before they could fly away he zips the bag up and calls the bio-hazard ponies to meet them at the next train station to give everypony a vaccine and clean this train. Why you ask. Because Bird Flu has just infected this train. Fluttershy explain this sickness.
"Avian Flu or more commonly known as Bird Flu, mutated and was able to infect ponies and much others. This stallion began to experience typical flu like symptoms. Fever, sore throat, coughing, sneezing, and vomiting. He developed a particularly lethal version of this flu. His lungs filled up with fluid and he died from this sickness. I make sure that every bird I see and take care of is healthy and does not have this disease."
Bird Catcher caught birds for a living to get rich. The birds had enough of what he was doing and decided to make him catch something else. He Caught Bird Flu. In the end his life of crime caught up and his life...Flew off.
Way To Die #95: Tweetment
Date: May 5, 2019
Welcome to Sire's Hollow a simple village with simple ponies. Except one pony who was crazy and had a strange addiction to Firelight. The father of Starlight Glimmer. Her name was Red Gem. She was obsessed with him so much she would leave gifts at his door such as flowers, chocolates, and explicit photos of herself. Firelight didn't return her affection but that didn't stop her.
She would spy on him in the morning when he was getting dressed. She would follow him wherever he went in the afternoon. Then she would watch him sleep. Firelight knew what she was doing and was getting sick of it. He opened the window and Red Gem was there smiling at him.
"Leave me alone Red Gem!! I don't love you!!" He shouted and slammed the window in her face.
Red Gem didn't care what Firelight said. She wouldn't leave him alone. Firelight isn't the only pony who has had a stalker with a weird obsession to them. In fact, we have an officer named Wild Force who had heard stories of ponies calling him when stalkers get to carried away.
"Many ponies call when ponies that won't leave them alone and their actions become erratic to the point where the ponies, they're stalking feel threatened. We give them a warning and tell them not to do it again. Some listen some don't. If they don't listen a restraining order is next and if they don't follow that they can be put under arrest. Some stories I heard from ponies that were stalked was from one pony who broke up with his marefriend. She would show up at his door at three o' clock in the morning, leave threatening letters in his mailbox, and she even went to his son's school to give him a note to give to him."
Firelight decided to visit his daughter for a couple of days and get away from Red Gem's antics. He stayed with her for three days and when he returned home, he realized the two days he's been back Red Gem wasn't watching him. He was happy. He thought maybe Red Gem moved on and decided to bother some other pony.
After five days of being back home Firelight smelled something foul. "What is that smell?" He decided to light a fire in the fireplace. As soon as the hardwood took flame the house began to fill up with smoke. He had no idea what was going on. Then he thought maybe the chimney has something jammed in it. When he used his magic to take out what was in there, he got the surprise of a lifetime.
*Shlop!*
What was stuck in the chimney was a body.
"Ahhhh!!!!"
It was Red Gem in a dark suit. How did she die. Well it turns out when Firelight went to visit his daughter. Red Gem decided to break into Firelight's house and see what she can take that had his scent and learn more about him. She decided to sneak in. One night she wore a black suit to not get caught and she decided to go inside through the chimney. When she was halfway down, she realized she was stuck.
"Help!!!! I can't get out!!!!"
Five days of being trapped in the hot and airless shaft left Red Gem starving, dehydrated, and finally...Dead. Nurse Red Heart how would somepony die from this.
"Over the five days she suffered severe dehydration. the brick like environment created a hot bed making her dehydration even worse. Her skin began to shrivel up, kidneys would have shut down, and her heart would have stopped pumping killing her."
Red Gem wanted Firelight and wouldn't take no for an answer. Red Gem wanted to say the words "I Do. Until death do us part." Well...At least she did the last part right.
Way To Die #96: Ain't Coming Down The Chimney Tonight
Date: March 23, 2013
Ah, we are back in the human world. Look at this girl. To all the guys she is quite an eye-catcher. Everyone meet Baton Switch, a simple girl that does well with the baton. However, she wanted a different baton to play with. The boys were staring at her while she was staring at their batons in their pants. She gave them a wink making them blush. Baton Switch had a secret though that may have made those boys think twice.
One day after band practice she went to the locker room and began to change while talking to her friends. "You know I bet I can get lucky with any boy I got my eye on." She said while taking off her pants showing off her pink panties. However, when she took off her pink panties, she had something that the girls noticed and began to laugh.
"Baton if a boy sees that bush, they are going to look the other way. You have to get someone to shave it or wax it for you." One of the girls said.
Baton was blushing and glared at the girls, but she realized that they were right. She had to take care of that bush one way or another if she wanted to get any boy on her bed. One night she bought some products from a beauty place and tonight she was ready.
"It's time for you to go!" Baton shouted and began to use some clippers and she got to cutting. It wasn't enough. She decided to bring out the razors she bought and began shaving it. It still wasn't enough for her, so she brought out the wax. Baton kept on waxing till there was no hair left.
*Rip!!*
"Ow!"
She may have waxed a bit too much. We have a human known as Lotus that knows a thing about waxing and has something to say for what Baton is doing.
"When you're going to wax down below you should have an expert do it. It's very easy to hurt yourself and wound yourself as well. You can remove the skin which can cause the wound to become infected that can lead to serious health issues."
Baton was ready to ask a boy out and one boy said yes, and they would go out in two weeks. Baton couldn't wait. On the day of the date, Baton felt sick in the locker room. She looked terrible.
"Baton are you alright?" One of the girls asks.
Before Baton could respond.
*Plop*
She fell to the ground dead.
"Baton! Baton! Wake up!!" The girl shouted while the other girls got help.
What happened to her. Lotus may you tell us what happened.
"The wound she had was not treated. This caused her to develop necrotizing fasciitis commonly known as a flesh-eating disease that began to spread quickly. She got blood poisoning causing her to feel sick and look sick and she didn't treat the wound, and this led to organ failure and caused her to die."
Baton Switch wanted to get it on. However, her bush got in the way. so, she hacked, and she whacked, and she waxed until it disappeared. And then...She disappeared
Way To Die #97: What A Rip Off
Date: February 12, 2014
In this house, people are coming inside sick. They were here to see a human named Bright Idea. His name pretty much sums up what ideas he comes up with the right. You would think so. Some of his ideas were pretty good. Truthfully...Well not so much. Bright Idea was what people would call a psychic surgeon. He would welcome a sickly patient into his house and pull diseased organs directly from their bodies without making any kind on the incision. That sounds a bit strange. That is because it isn't possible what he really was pulling out was bloody animal parts and pretending to pull the organs out of someone. He had the technique mastered and his idea was making him money. Sci-Twi tells us a bit about a psychic surgeon.
"A psychic surgeon uses slid of hand to appear to reach inside a person that is sick to remove pathogenic tissue or organs. Then they say ta-da you are healed. Even though that is not possible."
Bright Idea was gaining money from people. Some people would come to see Bright Idea after they saw a doctor and they would be healed in a couple of days. They thought that Bright Idea made them heal quicker. Even though it was just the doctor's medicine that did it. Hey, the pills do not work automatically people have patience.
One day Bright Idea had a patient that had leprosy. If he had actually gone to med school, he would have been extremely cautious of where he was touching his patient. He checked the patient's head to toe. When he touched an open sore that the patient had. He had just gotten the disease. He did what he did best. He pulled out animal organs and told the patient he was healed. The patient already saw a doctor and you know the rest. He was healthy in a few months and thanked Bright Idea for healing him faster. Sci-Twi what do you know about leprosy.
"Historically it was believed that leprosy was contracted through sexual contact. We now know that is not the case. It is actually quite hard to get. Typically, it is caught through nasal droplets or an open sore in the skin. Once the leprosy bacteria enter the skin it starts to multiply very fast."
A month after Bright Idea worked on that patient the bacteria were multiplying in Bright Idea's body. Bright Idea closed his phony psychic surgeon idea and began to show the first symptoms of leprosy. Sci-Twi you have something to add.
"You don't die from leprosy itself. You die from the side effects that leprosy causes. This individual's blood had become so thick that he began to start forming blood clots."
Finally, after two months Bright Idea took his money and decided to see a doctor sadly. The blood clots he formed finally stopped his heart and...
*Plop*
He landed on the floor and never made it outside of his house.
Bright Idea was a fake. He had a black heart and stole from the people that were desperate. However, karma got to him for tricking people. He should have done some fake surgery on himself...What's up, doc?
Way To Die #99: Thanks A Clot
Author's Note
Coming up Fluttershy has a problem and a guy that decides to help her takes advantage of it and pays the price.
Date: July 3, 2019
Here we are at the Animal Shelter that Fluttershy works at.
"Oh! Yeah! It feels so good!" Listen to Fluttershy moan.
Some women live their whole life without ever experiencing a full blown muscle clenching toe curling orgasm. Fluttershy was different. She was holding on to her vibrating toothbrush. Even as something as simple as that can have her yelling for more.
"Yeah that's it! Almost there! Yeah! Ahhhh!!!"
You're probably wondering how come she can orgasm by just holding her vibrating toothbrush. The reason is she has a condition called PGAD which stands for Persistent genital arousal disorder. We got a changeling who's fake name is Sweet Love. She knows about this condition.
"The very slightest vibrational stimulation to any part of the body can trigger stimulation to the clitoris. Some mares or in this case women have this. Some women even carry an ice pack with them to relieve the eight thousand nerve fibers that the clitoris has. It's so difficult for them because I know someponies that are effected by this. They are to shy to talk about it and I bet the humans feel as shy about talking about it so they keep it to themselves. It's pretty much a silent epidemic."
A couple of orgasms a day was normal for Fluttershy but it started getting in the way of many things she wanted to do. Couple of times turned to many and the most orgasms she had in one day was twenty times. She hired someone to take care the garden outside of the animal shelter. A human known as Captain Planet. He loved working for Fluttershy. He also loved her condition. He found out one day when Fluttershy accidently had her phone on vibrate instead of silent.
"Ohh! Ahh! Yes!!"
After he heard that he decided to change her phone on vibrate when ever she wasn't looking and kept her screaming and her panties wet. Fluttershy would have fired Captain but he didn't cost much and he even worked overtime. However, every overtime just meant more time for Captain to have some fun with Fluttershy's condition. The only thing is Captain didn't know when to stop.
One day when Captain was done with the garden outside the animal shelter he took out something he bought yesterday. A vibrating muscle massager. He went inside and saw Fluttershy going upstairs with a bag of food ready to feed the animals that lived upstairs. He thought this was the right time to strike. He snuck up behind Fluttershy when she was on the stairs. He turned it on and put it on her back.
Fluttershy dropped the bag of food and began to scream in pleasure. "Ohh! Yes! Ahh! More! Yes!!"
Captain was enjoying what he was doing "Yeah. You like that bab-
"AHHH!!!"
*Smack!!*
Fluttershy yelled at the top of her lungs her body spasmed and hit Captain making tumble down the stairs.
* Tumble!!! Crack!!!*
He went down a spine and skull cracking trip.
"Oh my. Captain!!!"
Snow Heart what happened to this pervert.
"Tumbling down the stairs can definitely kill you. You can fall backward down the stairs and you can hit the back of your head cracking you skull. You can break your neck. You can fracture your cervical spine right at the base of your skull cutting through the areas that allow you to breathe and control your heart beat. You don't breathe your heart doesn't beat. Your dead."
Fluttershy constants orgasm made Captain very happy. There's a saying to this story. Easy cum...Easy go.
Way To Die #100: Orspasm
Author's Note
We hit the one hundred mark. Wow. Coming up were still in the human world and Bulk is going to teach you how he gets his muscle and how that becomes his downfall.
Bulk Biceps (Created By Dramamaster829)
Date: October 3, 2019
Bulk Biceps was a real body builder. He lifted every single dumbbell at school, at the gym, and pretty much every dumbbell in the city he lived in. Now you're probably thinking that's how he got his muscles. Well that was one of the things that got him buff but another thing that he did was rely on a mixture of vegetables and other such natural ingredients to pump him up. He put all the ingredients in his juicer. He would drink, lift repeat, drink, lift, repeat. Over and over again.
"YEAHHHH!!!"
Rainbow Dash you know about working out what do you have to say.
"You can train ten hours a week but if you don't pay attention to your diet, you'll never develop the muscles you want. I sometimes do eat stuff that is unhealthy, but I maintain a healthy diet which help keeps me fit."
Bulk kept his healthy diet, but many people avoided him when he started to act meaner and stranger. The reason he was acting this way was because he added a new ingredient to his diet. The new ingredient was steroids. Rainbow Dash do you have any information about steroids.
"Steroids are the worse way to get muscles. It comes with a lot of bad side effects. You can have liver failure, your heart can grow out of place, and you can get what most of us girls call bitch tits which is boobs on a man which is never good. It's also definitely not attractive."
Bulk began to pick on the scrawny kids. "Hold my dumbbell for me."
When the kid tried to hold the dumbbell, he fell down holding it.
"Ha! Your pathetic!" He tried to flirt with the girls. "Hey where are going beautiful!?"
"You're a pig!" The girl he tried to flirt with said.
The only things that Bulk had that didn't hate him was his juicer. He was using it every day.
Let's go deeper into this juicer he had. It has a three-quarter horsepower engine and its razor-sharp blade spun at over sixty miles per hour. It sliced anything he put in there to bits. Bulk worked his juicer to a pulp. He never checked it. He had it for years. One day he realized his juicer was working slower than usual.
"Come on work faster!!"
Bulk began to get angry. However, before he could blow his top.
*Bzzz!!!* *POW!!!*
The juicer beat him to it. Once the smoke cleared the blade from the juicer had implanted itself in Bulk's neck. We got a girl known a Sugar Juice that knows a thing about Juicers.
"When the juicer wasn't checked for years it must have over heated. It then blew a gasket and exploded. Every juicer has an expiration date that should be checked. If it's not checked the juicer could malfunction or cause injury to the user. I've heard of many injuries with juicers. When this juicer exploded the blade flew and severed this man's carotid artery and from what I know that artery provides blood to the brain. This led to significant hemorrhage. He bled out. Which killed him within seconds"
Bulk began to cheat to keep the muscles he had. He was a big bull moose who liked to juice. When his juicer blew a gasket. Bulk winded up...In a casket.
Way To Die #101: R.I.P-Ped
Author's Note
Mennorino made the picture I made the death.
Gambler Zach
Date: September 3, 2004
Do you need some bits. You want a loan. Here's our advice. Go to a bank and don't borrow from this pony. Meet Gambler Zach. He is going to visit a pony that works at a warehouse that hasn't paid his loan of bits he borrowed from him. Gambler Zach was a Loan Shark who prayed on those addicted to gambling. He was here to meet a pony named Jack Hammer who was super addicted to it. However, he's been on a losing streak.
"Hey Jack Hammer! I know your in here!" Zach is angry and spots who his looking for.
Jack Hammer was on a scissor lift and when he saw Zach he was scared. "Oh...Hey Zach...Heh...Heh...Fancy meeting you here." Jack gulped.
"You don't return my phone calls! You need to pay up now! You oue me ten thousand bits!!!"
Loan Sharks are almost everywhere. We got a pony named Slots who is a retired Loan Shark that knows how things go.
"Illegal type of gambling and Loan Sharking are about the same thing we're giving you a bit of money to play with but we want our money back and we want it back on time. We are really tight on the time we want it back. If a pony doesn't pay up we can go through our own means to make you pay up. Pretty much you're going to...Lets say get bitten by a shark."
"Come on down Jack!!! You're testing my patience!!!"
"Ah come on just give me one week you know i'm good for you."
"One week!!! What do I look like a charity!!!"
Jack wasn't going to come down. He was safe on the scissor lift but Zach decided to get him down himself. He took out a knife and went to cut the hydraulic line.
"No wait what are you doing!!! No please!!!"
*Bzzz!!!*
*Crunch!!!*
"AHHH!!!!!" The scissor lift malfunctioned came crashing down and
*Slice!!!*
Cut Jack's head right off.
"Oh shit." Jack whispered.
Nurse Red Heart what did Zach do to himself.
"When this stallion cut the hydraulic line the entire weight of the scissor lift which is tons of metal and steel comes crashing down and scissors his neck crushing his windpipe, cutting through the muscle, crushing the bone and, cutting the carotid arteries that go to his brain. It severed right through his spinal cord as well. He dies from lack of blood and no innervation from his brain to his body and he instantly died."
Gambler Zach was a pony who loaned bits to anypony. When it came time to collect. He wanted it one way or another. However, when his patience was tested he got tired of waiting he finally just...Lost his head.
Way To Die #102: Cut Short
Date: November 2, 2007
Welcome to Manehatten Airlines Plane 142 is about to take off and everypony is ready for the ride to the Bahamares. Especially these two love birds. Meet Berry a beautiful mare and Lightning a handsome Pegasus. They are a cute couple aren't they. Well you are right, but they have a bit of a problem.
As soon as the plane hits thirty thousand feet they think it's the best time to put on a live sex show.
"Ahem!" One mare coughs trying to get them to stop making out while covering her son’s eyes.
They didn't listen. Berry and Lightning couldn't keep their hooves off each other. Now some ponies love romance but these two have to know there is places for times like that and some places not for that. They had no regard for the other passengers.
"Excuse me can you two tone it down we're getting a lot of complaints from passenger because of you two." One flight attendant told them.
Now you are probably thinking they would stop....That’s some wishful thinking.
"Hey Berry." Lightning whispered into her ear. "Want to join The Mile-High Club."
"Oh yes." Berry said.
Now what is The Mile-High Club. It means having sex in a planes bathroom and while it might be naughty. It's actually okay with some airlines. In fact, a mare known as Clear Skies knows all about it. She used to be a flight attendant before now she flies the plane.
"Back when I was flight attendant I've seen and heard many ponies having sex in the bathroom on the plane. It's not illegal because we can't really prove that they are actually having sex anyway. No way anypony is going to check. Pretty much we just let them do what they want and hope that nopony else can hear it and just help the other ponies have a good flight. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that anymore."
Before anypony knew it Berry and Lighting were going at it.
"I know you must be hurting, with such a big wonderful cock like that not getting any attention. Let me make it feel all better.” Berry said.
Berry opened her mouth and took the whole of Lightning's length inside it, slurping obscenely as she wrapped her tongue around his shaft. Lightning could only groan in response, rolling his head back in pleasure.
Berry was in heaven. he could feel her juices pouring down her legs so good, she thought to herself, bobbing her head up and down. The feeling of the stiff rod in her mouth was incredible. Berry bobbed her head for a few more seconds before feeling lightning's organ twitch, followed by a spray of cum right into the back of her throat.
“Smell me Lightning. Smell how wet I am, for you.” Berry pressed her body into Lightning's face, and he inhaled deeply taking in a huge wave of her scent. Lightning's cock twitched again, now poking against the entrance to Berry’s hole as she raised herself even higher to give him a full complement of her smell. “Don’t you want to fuck me, Lightning?” she continued, her eyes closed, head rolling around in ecstasy. Even the anticipation of Lightning’s cock inside her was driving her wild, she felt like she might die from the thought alone. “Taste me, I want you to taste me, and then let me fuck you. I’ll do all the work, you don’t have to move a muscle, just let me get that delicious cock inside me.”
*Knock Knock*
"Hey, is anypony in there I need to go to the bathroom a mare said outside the door.
"Just wait your turn!" Berry shouted.
The mare sighed and sat back down. Now Berry and Lightning were ready to get into some more action Lightning opened his mouth and Berry began grinding her pussy on Lightning's face.
"Yes...Ohh right there." Berry whispered trying to be quiet. After a while she came.
Finally, it was time for the main event Lighting didn't waste any time plunging his cock deep inside Berry’s vagina and bottoming out immediately. Berry held in her scream as her hips met Lightning's.
*Beep*
What was that? Well that was the seat belt light turning on. The plane hit a pocket of severe turbulence.
"Oh!!! ouch!!!" Berry shouted getting pushed back and forth.
"Ahh!!! Agh!!!" Lightning was having the same problem.
Cramped in a small place and hitting the walls was painful for both of them.
Suddenly the plane dropped violently, and the lovers hit the ceiling.
*Crunch!!!* *Crack!!!*
Cracking their skulls. If that wasn't enough Lightning's neck shattered and Berry's spine split into two.
When the turbulence was done the mare that had to go to the bathroom couldn't wait any longer and opened the door letting Berry's and Lightning's lifeless bodies fall out.
"Oh, my word!!!" She screamed and everypony else turned and screamed as they also saw the horrifying sight.
Berry and Lightning loved each other so much. They just didn't know when to stop and act civil. In the end they learned a lesson. Next time get a room you two...Not a bathroom.
Way To Die #103: Frequent Dier
Date: November 13, 2019
"Snips are you recording?"
"Yeah I’m ready whenever you are Snails."
Look at these two. Meet Snips and Snails. Snips is holding a camera and Snails are wearing a Karate gi which is a name for the traditional uniform used for Karate practice and competitions. Why is he wearing it? Well, he was tired of his pretend girlfriend nights when he would go online and see all the pretty girls he wanted and make his right arm stronger. Also, he was board of having fun with his plastic girlfriend. He thought a viral video showing of his questionable karate skills would get him one.
Snips was recording him kicking in the air, doing some spins, and doing some other weird moves that don't even look like karate at all. Snails thought showing his moves wouldn't be enough. Boy was he right. He wanted to make sure this video got many views and many girls.
"Now I think it's time for some wooden boards." Snails said revealing some square wooden boards.
"You mean you want to break the wooden boards. Didn't you say that was dangerous. I don't think this is a good idea Snails." Snips said looking concerned
"Relax I got this." Snails grabbed the wooden board and tried to break it with his head. The first try didn't break it. Second had the same results. Third. Fourth. Finally, the fifth try it broke. "Yeah that's how you do it!"
That's not really how it is done. We got a martial artist human known as High Kick that really knows how it's done. "Usually when a martial artist doesn't succeed at breaking an object such as a brick or a board. Instead of following all the way through the object. They kind of stop one top. The energy that they all put down into it stops short. Then the energy is dispersed back into the body."
Snails kept on breaking wood after wood with his head.
"I think that's enough let's take a break and film later with you just doing some moves." Snips said looking worried.
Snails should have listened but with his battered mind he got visions of girls wanting him he didn't want to stop, and he grabbed another wooden board. He got ready to break it and...
*Crack!!!*
The wooden board didn't break but what was that cracking sound. Oh, that was Snails skull. He collapsed onto the floor and he was dead.
"Snails. Snails you okay? Oh man!! Snails!!" Snips shouted.
High Kick do you know what happened.
"The first board softened his skull. He kept on going and that put a tiny crack in it. Finally, after many more the final board cracked his skull completely and that put him down. His cause of death was a fractured skull and brain damage."
Snails was tired of going plastic to bad his head wasn't made of elastic. Guess what Snails, your dead...Ya spastic.
Way To Die #104: Nun-F&$%ed
Author's Note
Coming up we got a human who lies to much about danger. Then we go back to Equestria and meet a pony in a movie set. The movie is about to add another death to it.
Date: May 13, 2018
Welcome to Sun Shore Resort, a beautiful resort near the beach and a lovely place to have a great time. Unless you walk into this witch. Meet Upper Crust. So much money in her bank account she thought she can act however she wanted. She wanted everything to be her way and the people that worked at the resort were sick of here.
"I ordered food ten minutes ago this is a five-star resort who do think you're fooling!!!" Upper Crust shouted at a waiter.
The people at the beach hated her when she would take their spot by throwing their stuff out of the way.
"Hey what are you doing?!!! Our stuff was there!!!" A person said with his family behind him.
"I really don't care. You leaving your stuff on the beach means nothing now go tell someone who cares cause I sure don't!!!"
The resort and the beach was a living hell when Upper Crust was there. The people just tried to ignore her the best that they could. However, ignoring her was not going to be so easy. Being a little bored bathing in the sun in her bikini she decided to have some fun and pull a small prank...Well actually not really a small prank. Pranks sometimes can go overboard. Human Rainbow Dash can tell us about pranks and how some go overboard.
"Many pranks are harmless and are meant to be laughed at. I've done many pranks that people get mad but just brush it off and laugh at the end. I may have gone overboard...Sometimes and I've seen many times when pranks go overboard or don't end up being funny. People have gotten beaten up because of a prank, cops have been called, injuries have occurred, a gun has been pulled out on people, and lots of other serious issues have occurred during pranks."
Upper Crust got in the water and screamed on word that everyone is scared to hear in the water.
"Shark!!! Shark!!! Everyone out of the water!!!"
Everyone listened and ran out of the water. Even the lifeguard blew his whistle alerting everyone to get out of the water. As everyone ran in a panic.
Upper Crust began to laugh. "I'm just kidding!!! Ha ha ha!!!"
People began to realize it was a prank. One girl swam after Upper Crust so she can teach her a lesson. Upper Crust dove under water to swim away. She was underwater with her big mouth open and when she came up something was wrong.
"Aghck!!! Agh!!! Agck!!!"
Upper Crust couldn't breathe. The girl that tried to catch her noticed this and even though she hated her she took Upper Crust to land. Upper Crust couldn't get up and began to foam from her mouth. Finally, after a minute of struggling she was dead. Many people saw this but thought it was another prank. Even the girl that brought her back to land thought so to. They left her on the beach and there she laid. What they didn't know was they just witnessed Upper Crust's death.
When Upper Crust dove underwater with her mouth open to swim away from the girl after her she swallowed an Irukandji Jellyfish. Human Fluttershy do you know about this jellyfish?
"The Irukandji Jellyfish are any of several similar, extremely venomous species of box jellyfish. With an adult size of about a cubic centimeter, they are both the smallest and one of the most venomous jellyfish in the world. If you were to swallow one it would instantly sting you going down the throat and that would cause everything to swell up. Your lungs would fill up with fluid and the person would croak in about a matter of a minute."
Upper Crust made any place awful when she was there. Instead of being obnoxious, complaining about little small things, and lying about a shark. Upper Crust should have kept her big mouth...Shut.
Way To Die #105: Jelly Belly-ed
Rather Dashing (Created by Velvet Blossom)
Date: May 4th, 2016
"Cut!!! That was pathetic!!! Do it again!!!" One pony shouted at two actors. Meet Rather Dashing he's a pony that is directing a movie and wants it to be perfect.
"We already did it twenty seven times. We are trying our best." An actor said.
"If that's your best your best won't do!!!"
Rather Dashing is mean but his movies were good. He was always rolling in dough. He used to be an actor but he decided to make his own movies. The movie he made was all about action. However, he wanted it to be so realistic that everypony that was acting didn't have stunt doubles they were doing their own stunts. So far five ponies have been injured. Why wouldn't they quit well everypony knew Dashing's movies and they knew if they stared in his movies they would be like him rolling in dough. It's not that weird seeing a director go ballistic we got an actor named Star Harmony who's been in many films.
"When it's on screen it's beautiful. Behind the scenes is totally different. Some ponies believe they get all behind the scenes. If you ask me that's just more acting. Many directors have gone ballistic and have started fights with many actors. In fact I actually had a director make me do my own stunts and I almost broke some of my bones. The movie was a success and I got an award however, I would never do something like that ever again. The director I worked with broke things when things didn't go the way he wanted."
"You know what lets skip that scene and will film it later. Time for the chase scene bring out the carts!!!" Dashing shouted.
The cast brought out the carts that were mechanical with buttons to control them for the speed chase.
"Everypony into positions and....Action!!!"
The carts zoomed with everypony doing their part. Everything was going well until one of the actors in the cart did a wrong turn.
"Cut!!!."
All the carts stopped.
"You unicorn with the safety pin for a cutie mark what was that!!! You were supposed to go left!!!" Dashing was shouting at a unicorn named Pokey Pierce who was in this movie because the ponies loved his voice and thought he had the skills to play a character in Dashing's movie.
"I'm sorry it won't happen again."
Let me show you how it's done." Dashing got in the cart and controlled it like a pro. He did amazing drifts and stunts pressing all the right buttons in the cart. "This is how you do it!!!" Dashing shouted as the cart drove however, Dashing should have hit the brakes. Everpony saw him coming and got out of the way. Dashing hit the brakes but the cart immediately stopped flinging Dashing out of the cart. The cart stopped but Dashing kept going.
*Stab!!!*
Dashing landed on Pokey Pierce. Pierce was fine and pushed Dashing off him but then Pokey felt something on his horn. He realized it was blood. Where did that come from.
"Blugh!!! Ark!!! Ark!!!" It was from Dashing who was spitting up blood from his mouth.
When Dashing was flung from the cart he landed on Pokey Pierce and his chest got stabbed by his horn which was sharp and stabbed all the way to his heart. Nurse Red Heart what happened to poor Dashing.
"If a thin-walled structure such as the left or right atrium, the aorta, or the pulmonary artery are cut. They bleed around the heart into the sac that covers the heart called the pericardium. This is what this unicorn's horn did to this poor director when this happens the patient dies from a condition called pericardial tamponade."
Rather Dashing wanted his movies to be the best. He's still good at acting. That death scene was amazing. It was very believable. Oh, wait it was real. Time to add another death to this movies...Kill Count.
Way To Die #106: Uni-gore-n
Date: August 25, 2008
Gangs in Las Pegusas is no joke. One pony is learning that right now. Lucky Hoof just stole a bag of bits but was bleeding due to getting shot. He was a part of the gang called the Boodle Gang. Lucky Hoof was usually lucky stealing stuff, but it seems his luck had just ran out. Passing out and lying on the floor in an alleyway two ponies from his gang found him. These two ponies that found him where called Mr. Stitch and Bone Crusher.
"Hey, Lucky Hoof, you alright man. Shit I think he’s dead." Bone Crusher said.
"Don't worry I think I can save him let's take him to my hideout." Mr. Stitch said.
Mr. Stitch used to be a doctor but got fired after stealing pills to get high off. Now he helps his gang deal with injuries. He does a good job and everpony in the gang is happy. Many gangs have doctor that helps them we got a pony that wants to stay anonymous because he's from another gang and he is a doctor that helps with injuries as well.
"In the gang many don't want to deal with the hospital, police, and law enforcement. When they need help they come to me. Usually I deal with gunshot wounds, lacerations, stab wounds, and some other stuff. I do a very good job at helping them. As long as I do a good job noponies messing with me."
Bone Crusher and Mr. Stitch dragged Lucky Hoof into an old house that had many medical supplies Mr. Stitch stole they put him on the operating table.
"Come on man is he going to make it!!" Bone Crusher shouted at Mr. Stitch.
"Let me do it carefully alright!!" Mr. Stitch shouted back.
Mr. Stitch tried to carefully shove a tube down Lucky Hoofs throat, but he was taking too long.
"You're too slow move I’ll do it."
"No Bone Crusher you don't know how it's too dangerous."
Bone Crusher didn't listen he thought he could do it. He shoved the tube down Lucky Hoofs throat and turned on the machine. Then suddenly Lucky Hoof's stomach was beginning to grow.
"You did it wrong the tube is not in correctly!!" Mr. Stitch shouted.
All of a sudden Lucky Hoof opened his eyes. He was alive. But then.
*Pop!!!! Splat!!!!*
"Argh Gross!!" Bone Crusher shouted as he and Mr. Stitches just got covered in blood from Luck Hoof's stomach
What Happened? Snow Heart you've seen and done some surgeries what happened here?
"Esophageal intubation refers to the incorrect placement of an endotracheal tube in the esophagus since the esophagus is located behind the trachea where the tube is supposed to go. When an untrained professional tries to do this procedure, they place the tube in the stomach. The lungs can expel air, but the stomach can't. If you don't pull it out in time the stomach can blow up like a balloon."
Lucky Hoof thought stealing was easy. He thought luck was always on his side. Well it wasn't this time. He Lucky Hoof this is why they call it Gang...Bang.
Way To Die #107: Pop Goes The Stomach
Date: September 20, 2018
"Alright pay up." Paisley said to a boy leaving her house.
The boy paid up the one hundred dollars he needed to give since he was done having fun with Paisley. Now there comes a time in every women's life when the need for sexual fulfillment overwhelms anything else. Paisley was one of those women. Not able to find a boy to stick to her she would offer boys a time with her not to mention it paid well.
Paisley would usually tease boys at Canterlot High. She also helped Wall Flower with her garden. When she was there some boys that came to help, she would tease them. Bending over to fix the garden gave the boys a view of her nice round butt. Not to mention she would wear outfits and clothes that were a bit too tight on her. Sci-Twi can you give us the diagnosis of what's going on in Paisley's mind.
"What makes someone a sex addict is what makes somebody a drug addict or an alcoholic addict. They over consume. Time to time pleasure is fine but doing it all the time never doing anything else and it becomes more important than their job, life, and anything else. They don't care if it's destroying their life it's all they think about day and night. Normal time is fine but when they are addicted, they just can't put it aside at any time."
Paisley thought her sex addiction was harmless. She wasn't hurting anyone unless the boys that paid were into that. One day she got a message from Wall Flower. Wall Flower wanted to protest against some construction workers who wanted to make a roadway near her garden. Many people joined to help her they loved the garden. Paisley joined because she got images of hot muscular construction workers in her mind. If she teased them enough maybe they would pay to have fun with her. In fact, she might do it for free with these men.
Once the day came everybody was holding signs and holding their hands together forming a line not letting these constructions worker’s work. They did at least able to put down some concrete, but they couldn't do much more. Paisley was there holding a sign as well. She had short shorts and a crop top if you even call it that with it being so tight. She dropped her sign
*Crack!!!! Sphhhlt!!!!*
The blade went flying off and straight through Paisley's stomach and cut her in half. Her cause of death. Shouldn't need an explanation.
"Ahhhhh!!!" Everyone shouted.
While the construction worker's went to go get help and stopped what they were doing.
Paisley wanted many hunks to take to her bunk. Paisley you got calm down with all the men. To bad Paisley couldn't just...Keep it together.
Way To Die #108: D-Parted.
Date: July 25, 2015
Now many ponies know Jack Hammer as a simple pegasus who works and does lots of construction projects. Even at home he does some construction projects. He builds robots for one reason. To see them smash and destroy things. He could have gone to college to put his brain to good use but all he cared about was destroying things with his creations.
"Alright robot, you will be called The Crushinator."
He would play with his robots destroying anything he could find like old T.V sets he found in other ponies’ garbage
*Smash!!*
"Yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!"
He spent most of his time breaking stuff, but he wanted to do something a bit more extreme this time. He got an idea and went straight to work. After a couple hours of working in his basement he had created a new robot called The Slicer. It had a lawnmower blade that could slice almost anything. This was dangerous and stupid. Jack Hammer loved it. Still he wanted to do more to this robot
Now we got a pony that knows about robots called Automatic.
"Robots are pretty much what we make to do all the hard work for us. We program them and they listen to us. Many ponies use them for heavy lifting and other such things that are hard to do. When robots were first being made many ponies were fascinated and they began to make more robots and other high-tech technology to make them work more efficient."
Jack Hammer finished The Slicer and added eyes. It had motion sensors. This robot will destroy anything that moves. He took to the park and began to terrorize the citizens. Whenever a little colt or filly would leave their toy for a while Jack Hammer would put his robot to the test
*Bzzzzzz!!*
It sliced straight through the toys.
"Hey! That was my toy!" A filly shouted.
"Well to bad it just got destroyed by my toy." Jack Hammer said.
Jack Hammer saw another colt put his toy down and saw his next target. However, the colt picked up his toy and moved. Jack Hammer grunted and went to pick up his robot. However, a pony dropped something from the sky close to the robot. A small nail. Luckily the Pegasi didn't drop the big shelf they were carrying. However, the nail activated the robot’s sensors. When Jack Hammer went to pick us his robot.
*Shlick!!!!*
"Ahhhhhh!!!!"
The robot sliced Jack Hammer's hoof and when he fell The Slicer kept on doing it's job.
*Shlick!!!!"
"Ahhhh!!!! Blugh!!!!"
Jack Hammer began to spit up blood as The Slicer began to slice his body into mush. Jack Hammer was a goner.
"Somepony help this pony is hurt!!" The colt shouted but it was too late Jack Hammer was dead.
Hey, Nurse Red Heart what a happened to this poor pony.
"A deep laceration from a spinning lawn mower blade cut deeply into his abdomen and cut his arteries and aorta. This carries all the blood to the lower part of your body. He bleed out in a matter of seconds. Which caused him to die."
Instead giving his robot a brain Jack Hammer should have put his own to better use. Now he is completely…Brain dead.
Way To Die #109: Bot-ily Harmed
Author's Note
Pink is a Pinkie Pie Clone nickname I made up for this character
Pinkie Pie/Pink (Clone)
Date: May 1, 2017
She looks like...what...a clone but I thought...uh whatever. It's five o' clock in the morning and this party is still going hard. Most of the newbies have either gone home or have been taken to the local emergency room. It wasn't anything new. We also got a pony named Pi- Uh Pink...yeah that's a good enough nickname. She was usually at these clubs. She knew how it went dance, have fun, drink up, and get high on the sweet stuff ponies bring.
Ponies were partying and having a great time. So was Pink, she also had a saddle bag with her.
One pony came up to her. He was a stallion and pointed at the saddle bag. "Got anything good?"
Pink smiled and revealed some pills, needles, and drugs she had in the bag. "What do you want?” Pink wanted bits and she wanted it fast. In some clubs she went to she would bring a stash of drugs and most partiers would come to keep their buzz going and their IQ go down the drain.
"I'll take a couple of those pills." The pony said pointing at one of the pill bottles Pink had.
"This is hard stuff. You got to pay up first."
The pony gave her forty bits. All she did was look at him. Then he gave her twenty more and that was enough for her to give him what he wanted.
We got a pony known as Vinyl, or her DJ name DJ Pon-3, who knows how these parties go.
"At a typical club like this one there's not a lot of security just a lot of music, a lot of dancing, and a lot of fun times. There are many ponies that come inside to sell drugs for a quick bit. Some ponies I know seem normal in the morning but at night they always start looking for the dope pony that sells that stuff. I don't do drugs. I just party all night and play my dubstep for the crowd."
Pink was getting so many bits by selling what she had. She looked at her saddlebag and realize she was getting low on her supplies. She had only two pills left and a needle that was empty. Pink broke the cardinal rule of drug dealing. Never get high on your own supply. She swallowed the pills and got high like most of the ponies here. She was a crazy party animal now. Taking stallions to the back to give them a great time. She even kept buying drinks for ponies with the bits she made. Then she saw something. It was a kitty pool full off liquid from glowsticks. Many ponies were smearing themselves with it.
Pink loved what she saw but she wanted to do something better than just smear it on herself. She took out the empty needle. Filled it up with the glowstick liquid. She mainlined the glowing goo into her body.
"Yeah look at that." Pink said. She saw her veins began to glow.
Many ponies noticed and gave her a bro hoof. Pink was having a great time. Then she began to feel lightheaded until finally.
*Plop*
She collapsed on the floor. Many ponies thought that she just passed out. However, she was dead. Twilight what happened to Pink.
"The mixture of chemicals in glowsticks creates a biproduct called phenol. Once it enters the bloodstream phenol shuts down the nervous system and triggers kidney failure. The Neighzis experimented with phenol execution during World War Two. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go clone hunting."
Pink always wanted to have a good time. She started glowing like a nuclear reactor, and just like a nuclear reactor she...Melted Down.
Way To Die #110: Glow Job
Date: November 1, 2019
One thing you hate is two in the morning ponies that think Nightmare Night is still going on. Well meet Library Stamp dressed as Pennywise from his favorite book, he loved Nightmare Night more than any other holiday. However, he just had to know when Nightmare Night was over. He went trick or treating and had a bag full of candy. It was two in the morning and he was still out knocking on doors.
"Nightmare Night what a fright give me something sweet to bite!! I know you're in there!!" Library Stamp said trying to imitate Pennywise's voice.
Get out of here!! It's two in the morning!!" A stallion shouted from inside the house.
However, Library Stamp doesn't take no for an answer. He decided to deal with this stallion that wouldn't open the door for him. He had a bag full of diabolical tricks. Now Library Stamp may have taken his obsession with Nightmare Night to the next level. Princess Luna what do you have to say about this fanatic.
"This fool as you all call them these days. Has a rather interesting way of celebrating this glorious day. A fanatic is a pony filled with excessive and single-minded zeal, especially for an extreme cause. We- pardon me. I of course love this day like anypony else. However, this pony maybe has taken things a bit too far. It makes you wonder who this pony is going back home to."
Library Stamp began Tp-ing the property. Then he saw some pumpkins that needed stomping. He squished every single one the stallion put out. Then he took out a can of silly string and sprayed it all over the door and covered himself with it as well.
"Time for the main event!!" He shouted. Library Stamp took out a bag of doggie poop and took out a lighter. He placed it near the door and when he tried to light it up.
*Fwosh!!!!*
"Aghhh!!!! Ahhhh!!!! Shit!!!! Somepony help me!!!!" Library Stamp was engulfed in flames. He rolled on the floor, but it didn't do any good.
The stallion inside had enough and opened his door armed with a bat. Then he saw Library Stamp was burnt to a crisp. "Oh, my Celestia!!"
Nurse Red Heart what happened to this idiotic stallion?
"The silly string bottle had a mixture of solvents. The organic solvent that the string is covered in is highly flammable. He was covered with the silly string and since it was wet since he just used it. He was engulfed in flames. How your body would react to that is by shunting all blood and fluid to the area you are on fire. But because your skin would normally hold in your body fluid, it leaks out everywhere. If you’re not taken to a burn center, which can replace that fluid, you basically die of shock from loss of fluid inside your vessels. It's an excruciating and painful way to die."
Rarity you had something to say about his costume. What exactly?
"His suit which was made of polyester made it even more painful because that burns easily than any other fabric. This is why it is dangerous to wear a costume using that type of fabric especially at this time of the year. I make sure I make my costumes with something different."
Library Stamp got off at other's expense. He just didn't know when to stop. Well, he learned his lesson. Want my advice Library Stamp with your crazy pranks. You gotta...Lightnin Up.
Way To Die #112: Dia De Los Morons
Date: July 20, 2016
Well, look who we have here a human version of Tree Hugger. Like her other self, she loved nature. She was one with it. She cared for nature. In fact, she eats nothing but raw veggies. Meditates in the wild while making weird noises which is just weird if you ask me.
"UMMMMM!!! EEEEEEE!!!"
People really had no idea what was going on in her brain. However, today Tree Hugger was on her way to a convention of nature lovers. Tree Hugger was driving down the road and couldn't wait to get there. She pops in her favorite CD which is just a bunch of whale noises. In fact, those noises actually turned her on. Only problem.
"Oh!!! Yeah!!!" When Tree Hugger was enjoying her music and getting off with it.
*Crack!!*
Tree Hugger heard a cracking noise and her car just went over a bump. Then she remembered there were no bumps on this road. She got out of her car and went to investigate what happened.
"Oh no!" Tree Hugger actually ran over something. She ran over a raccoon. Tree Hugger was devastated.
"No!! don't worry I'll save you!!" Tree Hugger shouted. She bent over and started performing CPR on the raccoon. Breathing into its mouth and giving it chest compressions. She tried to breathe life into the flattened critter. Fluttershy would this even work?
"CPR can and has worked on animals. The most important aspect of CPR is chest compressions. Mouth to mouth can be performed. It all depends on how good of seal you can get around the animal's mouth but you have to be careful with mouth to mouth."
Tree Hugger was losing hope after doing CPR for three minutes. Then all of sudden she felt bad. She gave mouth the mouth one more time then she felt even worse. She began to foam in the mouth. She got up and began running and foaming out of the mouth more. Tree Hugger didn't know but that raccoon she was trying to save had rabies. Fluttershy what are the symptoms of rabies.
"Initial symptoms of rabies are often nonspecific such as fever and headache. As rabies progress, it can cause inflammation of the brain and meninges, foaming of the mouth, slight or partial paralysis, anxiety, insomnia, confusion, agitation, abnormal behavior, paranoia, terror, and hallucinations."
Tree Hugger began to hallucinate and saw the raccoon alive and dancing. Tree Hugger was a goner. Rabies would have killed her. However, coming down the road was a drunk driver in his truck
"Four drink down. Give me an-
*Crack!!*
"Woah I think I ran over an animal. Ha. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, give me another." The drunk driver didn't notice Tree Hugger and Tree Hugger's head was chopped right off.
Skid Marks you know how powerful a truck is. What did this impact do to Tree Hugger?
"When a bumper from a truck hits your chin and knocks your head off it's essentially sheered off. The head is likely separated from the upper levels of the vertebral column and the skin and muscle are completely tared off easily by a truck."
Tree Hugger lost her head when she got rabies. The truck just finished the job. It's alright it never was...Screwed on right.
Way To Die #113: Rabi-oad Kill
Flim And Flam (Sort Of A Way To Die)
Author's Note
Don't take this chapter to seriously. I know they probably would have died with many of these traps but I just wanted to do this one for the holidays.
Flim And Flam (Sort Of A Way To Die)
Date: December 13, 2017
It's close to the holidays the time for love and the time for giving. Well, if you're Flim and Flam then it's the time for deceiving and the time for stealing. Flim and Flam wanted to steal the Apple Cider from the Apple Family at Sweet Apple Acres.
"Are you ready for tonight Flam?" Flim asked
"Of course I am," Flam said.
They had a plan to steal it tonight if only they knew that The Apple Family had an idea of how to stop them from stealing the Apple Cider. Rainbow Dash overheard their plan on that day and told the whole Apple Family.
"This cider belongs to us and we're going to defend it." Applejack said setting up traps for Flim and Flam. She knew they were coming. Apple Bloom and Big Mac were going to help as well "They aren’t gonna get it." Applejack said.
The Apple Family got ready. Apple Bloom went to the basement and opened up a wheeling tool chest. She only took out a blowtorch and an electronic stapler which are for the first floor of the house. Applejack went down to the basement, pouring a can of green liquid-like soap all over the floor by the shelf filled with paint cans. She takes a pair of pincers which were connected to the electrical AC box and connected them to the pipes behind the sink. Big Mac opened a trapdoor he made near the front door of the house and hid it under a doormat. He got a rope and soaked it in kerosene He then went up to Applejack's room and put it there for later. He also got a cement powder bag and tied it to another rope and opened another trapdoor to the basement and threw the rest of the rope down there. Apple Bloom set up a blowtorch to activate if someone pulled the string to turn on the lights for the kitchen. She tightened the faucet to the sink and filled a bucket near the sink with flammable liquid. Applejack was helping Apple Bloom tie yarn to paint cans and a rope to a black pipe near the stairs. They began to set up more traps with all the stuff they had. Granny Smith was making sure everything was set correctly.
Finally, it was time Flim and Flam came at night ready to steal their Apple Cider. Apple Bloom, Applejack, And Big Mac saw them, and it was time to take their plan to action.
"Let's do this you go through the front and I'll go through the back and be quiet. We don't want to get caught. If we do well, we got crowbars that we can swing. Let's try not to use them though." Flim said.
Flam nodded his head and Flim went to the backdoor while Flam would try to go through the front door.
Flam was about to try and open the door, he literally yanked the knob off of the door, revealing that it was tied to white yarn. "Eh?" he said with a puzzled look. He began pulling the yarn out of the doorknob hole. He kept pulling not knowing was that the yarn was actually connected to an electronic stapler that was hanging on the door and the staple could only be pulled by a trigger through the hole above the knob hole. The yarn was wrapped around the trigger. When Flam could no longer pull it, he tried pulling as hard as he could to get the rest of the yarn out, so he could enter the house. He tried pulling himself with his foot on the door, but it didn't work. So, he turned himself around, so his back was staring at the door.
As soon as he makes one final yank, the trigger was pulled and.
*Clank!!*
Flam felt a really sharp pain in a rear-end and screamed, "Yeooooow!!!!"
Flam slowly rotates himself to the door. He had a staple that was connected to the yawn on his rear end. As he rotates, the yarn was beginning to wrap around his left side which was causing another staple to shoot out of the hole.
*Clank!!*
"Oh!" This time, the trigger was pulled, and the staple with the yarn shot at his manhood He fell to his knees.
*Clank!!*
Unknowingly causing another staple to shoot out as he pulled onto the yarn. This time the staple and the yarn hit underneath his nose. Flam was in so much pain he fell on the ground on his back. Apple Bloom's trap worked.
Finally, Flim was at the backdoor and tried to open the door but it was locked. "Heh locked is that the best they could do."
Behind the door, Applejack was setting up a trap for Flim. She had the yarn tied to the lock. And that yarn was over the door and was connected to a zipper of a large bag full of heavy tools. Applejack was done tying the yarn and ran off.
Flim heard her. He didn't need to be quiet anymore knowing they were awake. He kicked it wide open, chuckling in triumph. As the door was slammed open, the yarn caused to pull the zipper bag open.
*Bang!!*
Letting out a bunch of falling heavy tools. Landing mostly on Flim's head and caused him to fall on the floor in pain. One wrench that was hanging briefly in the ceiling.
*Bang!!*
"Uh!" fell on his head knocking him out.
Flam was lying on the ground, pulling the staple off of his face. As soon as he pulls it off, he glared at it in anger, thinking angrily of The Apple Family for what they had done to him. "That's it no more going in quietly!!" He dropped the staple and got up on his feet with a growl. He pulled the staples and the yarn off of his rear end and his private part, recovering from the painful sharp injury.
*Clank!!*
Flam kicked the door open with all of his might. He made an evil confident grin. Looking around the living room as if the coast was clear. "Flim I'm inside!"
Flam makes his first step into the house. "Woah! Ahhhh!!"
And fell down the trapdoor Big Mac left open hidden under the doormat.
*Boom!!*
He fell and landed roughly on his front. He was covered in dust after landing on the ground. He lifted his head up and carefully rotates his head as it was making vertebrae crackling sounds. Then, he quickly tilted his head to the right.
*Crack!!*
Letting out one final crack.
"Aaah," he sighed loudly in relief before fainting.
Flim slowly got up on his foot with his forehead still hurting from the tools that fell on his head. He continued walking in the house cautiously. He walked and saw nothing out of the ordinary. He thought maybe it was just one trap they set up. He saw the lights turned off in the kitchen and decided to turn them on. However, what he didn't know was that this lightbulb had its top cord connected to a blowtorch that was hanging above his head in the ceiling.
As soon as he pulled the cord.
*Fwoosh*
The blowtorch blew fire on top of his head. Flim took a few simple steps in the kitchen. "Is it getting hot in here?" Then looked up and saw flames coming from his forehead. "Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah!" He tried to turn on the sink, but Apple Bloom tightened it. Then he saw a bucket near the sink that looked like water. He had a brief wide smile. When he lowered his head down into the bucket.
*Boom!!!!*
The whole main kitchen exploded in a flash of light. After the explosion, there was steam flowing out of the windows. As Flim slowly lifted his head up from the bucket he made a very deep hateful glare with his teeth covered in ashes. His face was covered in ashes and his hair was gone and had a bad burn spot where it used it be. He realized that the water was actually a flammable liquid.
"Wow, I heard that. I hope it didn't mess up the kitchen that much." Big Mac whispered.
Down in the basement, Flam wiped some of the dust off of his face. He slowly rose up from the ground since his back was hurting from the fall. As soon as he was on his feet he bends over and swung himself up.
*Crack!!*
Giving his back a loud crack. "Wow. A trapdoor." He said looking up the trapdoor he fell down. He tried to find a way out of the basement he saw the stairs covered in nails, so he decided to find another way out. Suddenly he noticed a rope hanging in a distance. It seemed like the only way out. So, he decided to head there. As soon as he was about to get to it, he suddenly began to lose balance on a puddle of green liquid-like soap Applejack put. "Woah! Hey!" He looked as if he was dancing around on the puddle. He managed to freeze himself for a brief period of time. But unfortunately, when he slightly moved his arms began to swing around backward so fast losing his balance. Then, he leaped into the air. "Wah!" Landing on his back. Then he was instantly sliding on the soap puddle toward the shelf that was filled with paint cans. "Wahhhhh!!"
Once he hit the shelf it began to tip over.
"Uh-oh," Flam replied, having his arms shielding his face.
*Bang!!* *Splash!!*
The shelf fell on him along with a bunch of cans of multicolored paint that splattered all over him and on the floor. "Aaaaaah!" Flam replied with his white-painted tongue out in disgust. He wiped some of the white paint off of his closed eyes as he spits some of it out of his mouth. He wiped his eyes one more time before opening them. Then, he pulled himself out of the shelf that was lying on top of him. Then, he got up on his feet, standing on the puddle of the multi-colored paint by the spilled cans. He was disgusted with how he was covered in paint. He noticed a roll of paper towel above him and shoved it to his face, wiping it clean so he could see better. As soon as he removed it. He noticed a sink in the basement.
What he didn't know was that Applejack was kneeling beside the AC electrical box and the pincers were connected to the pipes behind the sink.
Flam thought it would be good to use water to clean himself up. But when he placed his hands on the faucets.
*Bzzzz!!*
"Agh!! Ahhh!!" he was suddenly electrocuted. Shaking massively as his body was surrounded by electrical sparks.
Applejack decided to turn up the electricity.
"Agh!! Ahh!!" Flam's hair stud upon his head and mustache. "Ahh!!"
"AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!" He was briefly turned into his skeleton form with his jaws dropping a couple of times screaming like a girl.
Then Applejack turned off the AC electrical box and ran off. Luckily, she had safety boots on so she could go up the stairs covered in nails.
As soon as the electric box was off Flam was still trembling due to electricity with his eyes widened. He lets go of the faucets as he still shakes as if he was having a seizure. He fell on his knees before falling backward. "Ah!!" Letting out a yelp.
Flam was pouring cold water on his singed forehead with water he found in the fridge "Ah that hurts! Oh, I'm gonna feel good getting their cider this year!"
He said pouring more water on his forehead.
Down in the basement, poor Flam was still shaking and steaming from the electrocution he had endured. He weakly crawled around the crate area where he sees a hanging rope in a distance. He was whimpering weakly. Then, he got up on his feet still shaking in shock. He slowly walked toward the hanging rope from another trapdoor before him.
"Flim?" he whimpered in a trembling tone. He looked at the rope carefully before placing his hand on it. He pulled it lightly. He looked up in the hole curiously. He tested the rope again by pulling it again. This is what he was hoping for. To make sure that the rope was tied to something solid so he could climb up to the first floor. He pulled it a couple of times again to test it again and it worked. "Heh heh." He chuckled with two other pulls.
Feeling confident of climbing up the rope, he replied, "I'm coming up!"
Then Flam jumped up to climb on the rope, but unfortunately, his feet only fell back on the floor and due to his weight, he noticed that the rope began to fall from the ceiling. He looked up and noticed that the rope was actually tied around a 100-pound bag of cement powder which was falling down fast toward his head.
"Uh Oh."
*Poof!!*
The cement powder hits him in the face and caused him to fall on the ground, spreading flowing dust around him.
The bag popped opened spilling most of the powder on him. Flam was laid on the ground for a moment, but then he sat up now covered in powder.
"I'm gonna murder this family. Achoo!!" He sneezed due to the powder dust-up in his nose. He had enough and started setting things up creating his own step-up ladder-like tower, so he could get out of the basement. He had been carefully piling some of the large possible sturdy items on top of one another, leveling them up to the hole. Last but not least, he took a metal bucket off of the wall and placed it by the bottom of his tower.
"Yes!" he replied.
It wasn't easy to climb, but Flam was nearly out When he was halfway out of the basement as he held onto the edge of the floor. He suddenly felt his tower falling off of him, scattering all over the floor. Now, poor Flam was hanging onto the edge of the hole wriggling his legs in the air. "Agh! Ahh!" whimpering with sobbing sounds.
"Hey were upstairs idiots!!" Apple Bloom shouted.
When Flim heard that he headed to the stairs and saw Flam and helped him out of the hole he was stuck in. Then as they tried to go upstairs Flim stopped him "Wait. This could be a trap. Watch this." He looked up the stairs and shouted, "Let's get them." He pressed his back against the wall and stomped his feet to make running step noises on a stair.
Apple Bloom heard it and tossed one paint can that was tied to the stair rail with a yarn. The paint can be swung down at them, but it missed them. Then, Flim shouted "Oh! They busted me right in my mouth, Flam. That's one."
"Don't worry, Flim!" he replied with a grin, "I'll get them!" Then, he made a couple of footing step noises on a stair.
Applejack now hearing the steps, took another paint can and tossed it down. The paint can swinged by them missing them.
They were snickering "Ow! Right in the schnozz!" Flam said grabbing the paint can to stop it from swinging as he and Flim chuckled hard. Their plan actually worked this time.
"That's two. Now come on let's get them."
Then, they began to run up the stairs, but then Big Mac held up a long large heavy black pipe over his head. Its sides had to be tied up to the rail with two ropes, so it could swing equally. Then he swung it down.
Flim and Flam suddenly noticed the pipe swinging at them with their eyes widened as they stopped running.
"Oops," Flam said.
*Bang!!*
"Ahhhh!!"
The swinging pipe hits them causing the screaming idiots to fall off the stairs, and they both fell into the trapdoor by the entrance of the house landing on their backs on the floor of the basement. They lay on the floor, paralyzed in shock and pain, looking up in the ceiling.
"That's… three…" Flam said weakly.
Apple Bloom used shears to cut the ropes that left the pipe hanging, causing it to fall and roll down the stairs. Then, the pipe was sent falling toward Flim and Flam
They noticed it as Flim said in a whimper, "No…"
*Clang!!*
"That's… four…" Flam said in a weak painful tone.
Down in the basement, Flim and Flam had been spending a while, building the same tower that Flam had constructed earlier.
"Come on Flim," Flam said.
"Flam, are you sure this is safe?" Flim asked.
"Yep, I've worked all of the kinks, She's Solid as a rock," Flam said. They began climbing on the tower carefully. It wasn't as sturdy as Flam claimed. But when they finally got out of the hole, they heard the tower collapsing on the floor behind them.
"Like a rock, huh?" Flim said sarcastically.
Then, they heard Applejack's voice from the second floor. "Hey! Do you guys give up? Have you had enough pain?"
Flam heard her and replied, "Never!"
Apple Bloom, Applejack, and Big Mac where in Applejack's room they used the rope near Applejack's window and tied it to her bed and all went down with it
Flim and Flam finally made it to Applejack's room and saw the rope near the window. They looked outside.
"Nice night for a neck injury." Apple Bloom said.
Come on, Flam."
Flam noticed Flim climbing down the rope, "Uh. I dunno."
"I said, come on!" he urged. "Come on, you big sissy!"
Then, Flam started to climb down after him whimpering in fear like a baby because he's afraid of heights. Then Flam smelled something.
"Flim. Do you smell aftershave?"
That's not aftershave that's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it." Flim said.
"Now why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?" Flam asked.
Then Granny Smith came out who was hiding outside this whole time and lit a match she had.
"Hey, Flim and Flam! You won't be getting our Cider this year." She said lighting up the rope.
"Go up!" Flim shouted.
" Waah!" Flam shouted.
The blaze was conducting to the wet rope and began rising up fast towards them. They began climbing up on the rope as fast as they could before the flame gets to their feet. But the flame had caught up to Flim's feet as they were burning his shoes. He caught up to Flam who was a slow climber. They tried climbing back up, but the flame was catching up quickly to them and the rope was getting too hot to hold on to. So, they have no choice but to let go.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" They shouted.
*BANG!!!!!*
They landed on the ground knocked out.
The whole Apple Family cheered and called the cops to report a break in. The police came and arrested Flim and Flam. Apple Bloom waved goodbye to them.
When the 25th came around there was Cider for everyone in the family and their friends.
Way To Sort Of Die #114: No ~~Place~~ Pain Like Home For The Holidays
Date: May 29, 2018
Many ponies find a way to get through college. Some get through it by working hard. Lollipop had another way. She met a stallion known as Gizmo. She didn't get her grades by working hard. She got her grades by working Gizmo. She used her looks to make him do all her work.
"Do you have that homework I wanted you to do for me." She said giving him a seductive look.
"Oh yeah I also did the extra credit." Gizmo said handing over the homework to Lollipop.
They shared the same chemistry class and Lollipop made sure that they were lab partners. They had a project due for the finals after that it was summer break and then Lollipop would relax. Actually, she already was. She was pretending to listen on what Gizmo was doing and when he needed something under the desk. She’d bend down showing her nice round plot. Gizmo loved the sight. We have a changeling here that knows all about seduction and decides to remain anonymous.
"It's quite easy for us changelings to arouse a stallion or any other male. As long as they see something or someone that turns them on. Their blood pressure goes up and they release testosterone. They want more of that and once they have something or someone that gives them what they want they are going to do whatever they have to do to keep it going."
Gizmo did all her work but one day Gizmo needed a break he needed to take a day off to celebrate his grandmother’s birthday. Gizmo thought that Lollipop could do the last thing for the project which was mixing two chemicals together to produce a thermal reaction. Instead of telling her when she came to meet with him in the chemistry room they used. He left a note and told her what to mix. However, what he wrote down was too smart for her and she had no idea what to do.
"Uh that nerd. He's definitely getting nothing from me now." She looked at every chemical she could think off and finally found out the two chemicals she needed. Once she poured the two together it began to produce a thermal reaction. "Yes! I got it!" Good work.
*Sizzle!!*
What's that noise?
"Agh!!! Agh!!! My eyes!!!"
Oh no. Looks like Lollipop forgot the first rule about chemistry class. Safety first. She poured the two chemicals but forgot to put on safety googles on. Lollipop had her contact lenses on, so she didn't have to wear glasses. That was bad. She began to lose her sight. Twilight why don't you explain what happened here.
"When the contact lenses she had on her eyes got exposed to the thermal reaction it melted in her eyes pretty much burning her eye sockets. She would be unable to see. Her pupils would begin to burn. Her eyes when then begin to bleed and she would be blind in a matter of seconds."
Lollipop was becoming blind. She ran towards door and opened it. She tried to see around and saw a blurry sign. Finally, she realized what it said. It said eye flush station. Seeing all hope wasn't lost she made a mad dash to it.
"No wait!!" Some stallion said.
*Slip*
"Wahhh!!!!"
Lollipop slipped and slid and.
*Crack!!*
He neck caught the corner of a wall cracking it.
The stallion shouted her to wait was the janitor that just mopped the floors and was trying to tell her that the floor was slippery, but it was too late. Nurse Snowheart what happened to poor Lollipop.
"When she slipped, and her neck hit the corner of the wall she severed his spinal cord This is where nerves go out to control basic body functions such as breathing and blood pressure. Her body functions shut down and her blood pressure stopped making the heart stop beating and her death was instantaneous.”
Lollipop loved making stallions do her bidding. She could make them do anything. For her finals. Well in the end she passed...On.
Way To Die #115: Eye Sore
Author's Note
Raindrop-Lily is the artist and made the picture. I made the death.
Raindrop Lily
Date: May 1, 2017
"Okay time to do an autopsy to see how this girl died." One pathologist said cutting a dead girl’s body on a table. He stuck his hand in her stomach "I feel something. It feels like a ball."
"What is it?" His assistant asked.
"I don't know. Hang on. I see something."
Will get to talking about what they found in a second. Let’s wind the clocks back about three months.
*Three Months Ago*
The girl that was on the table was named Raindrop Lily. Looking at her at school you think she was a simple girl that got straight A's and was cute. Well, you'd be right at school at least. Not so much when she got home. Making sure all the windows were covered and all doors were locked she would strip down taking off her clothes and her white undergarments. She was a nudist.
"Ah I love the sweet air on my body."
She had some interesting hobbies. Being a straight A student really does give people a lot of stress and Raindrop developed a habit of being a nudist. Hey, it isn’t anything weird in fact we got a person known as Freebee that knowns all about being a nudist.
"Nudist to define it is a person who engages in the practice of going naked wherever they feel comfortable. We usually just like being free. For a woman like me I like stretching my aching body. The warm air feels good on my fully exposed body. For the life of others, I don't know why they bother with the hassle known as clothing. I like arching my back and thrusting my chest out. Same for men and how they feel being free. I mean there are even places like a nudist beach so it's nothing really not unheard of."
Raindrop like being a nudist when she was home. However, there was one other way she coped with the stress she had with school. Her beautiful hair. She loved to eat her own hair. It's a problem some people have known as trichophagia. People just eat their hair. Raindrop would read, study, play games being naked. Her hair was long she would stick a piece in her mouth for a quick snack.
*Growl!*
Her stomach, however, didn't agree with her eating habit. Her undigested hair began clogging up her stomach.
"Bathroom!!" She shouted running to it.
She was unable to keep food down. She ignored her symptoms and when the end of the semester was close. She grew weaker and weaker. Finally, after finishing the final. She got home and.
*Growl!!!*
Her stomach began to growl louder.
"Ahh!! Agh!!"
Raindrop felt horrible abdominal pain and then.
*Plop*
She fell to the ground dead. Now let’s go back to the table.
*Three months later*
"Sir what is that?" The pathologist assistant asked looking at something he was holding.
"It's a Bezoar."
"A what?"
"It's a ball of hair."
It's also what killed her. Hey Nurse Redheart explain to us what a Bezoar does to someone.
"A Bezoar or the hair plug is made up of not only hair but undigested food particles. This stops the gastrula intestinal system. You get a back up of food, water, and liquid. If put enough pressure can rip a hole in the intestine. That hole can cause bleeding internally in the lining of gut."
Raindrop had some issues. She was a straight A student who was a nudist and loved to eat her hair. She should have changed her ways. She definitely should have changed her eating habits. I guess she met her.. Split end
Way To Die #116: Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow
Date: June 23, 2017
"Looks like we finally caught ya. You’re wanted for robbery and assault." A police officer said cuffing Aria and putting her in the cop car.
Aria's life has not been going well. She was alone without her sisters and decided to steal for a living. However, the law caught up with her and now she was in the back of a cop car with the ripped clothes she had after trying to fight off some cops. Once she was charged with robbery and assault, she was now in jail in an orange jumpsuit. For her crimes she would be working with the Chain Gang. What is that you ask. Let this human called Silver Tint that used to work as a prison guard.
"A Chain Gang is a group of prisoners chained together to perform menial or physically challenging work as a form of punishment. Such punishment might include repairing buildings, building roads, or clearing land. This has now been banned but there has been a little bit of a movement to bring back Chain Gangs in several states. Mostly in the south but Chain Gangs have always been problematic from the very beginning there have been significant issues with it."
One issue that it has is many prisoners used it as a chance to escape. Aria was doing thirty years for her crimes. There was no way she was going to wait that long. One day while she was chained with another female prisoner known as Eagle Eye who was doing time by trying to kill someone using a sniper, she talked her into trying to escape. Eagle Eye loved the idea and agreed to escape with her. They waited for the right time. They were clearing land near a road with other prisoners.
It seemed that fickle lady called luck seem to be on their side. Two guards watching them. One had to go use the bathroom. Leaving one guard to watch all the prisoners. Once nature called one of the guards. Aria saw something coming down the road. It was a pickup truck. Aria tapped Eagle Eye's shoulder and pointed at it. She smiled. It was time to take their plan to action. Aria saw the one guard that was watching them was not doing a very good job. She and Eagle Eye came behind the guard and whacked him in the back knocking him out. The truck stopped at a stop sign and Aria and Eagle Eye ran with their chain making some noise. The guard that was taking a leek noticed. They grabbed on to the back of the truck and waved bye bye to the guard.
"Later loser!" Aria shouted.
"Good luck trying to catch us now!" Eagle eye shouted.
"Hey stop! Sir stop the truck!" The guard shouted.
The truck driver couldn't hear anything. His was listening to some ear-splitting country music. Aria and Eagle eye seemed to be in the clear until.
*Clonk!*
The truck hit a bump Aria and Eagle Eye feel off the truck, but the chain was stuck on the truck's hitch.
"Wah!!! Ow!!! Ah!!! Stop!!! Sir!!! Stop!!!" Aria shouted as she was dragged on the ground.
Eagle Eye would have shouted to. However, her shouting was muffled cause she was being dragged with her face on the road leaving blood stains as her skin was being torn off.
Aria was on the same boat. Looks like lady luck decided to trick these two into thinking she was on their side. After one hour of driving the truck driver made it to his house and saw a gruesome said.
"Oh my god!! Who are these two on the back of my truck!!" He shouted.
Aria and Eagle Eye where nothing but bodies that lost their skin. We have a human doctor known as Dr. Tissue to explain how they died.
"While they were being dragged, they lost skin they suffered multiple broken bones and massive internal injuries and sever head trauma. They were dead way before the man finished driving and got home."
Aria and Eagle Eye tried to escape. However, they failed. Hey girls you got a serious case of...Road rash.
Way To Die #117: Drag Me To Hell
Date: March 10, 2007
Say hello to Tinder Box who is sneaking at night behind Puppy Love's Shelter For Dogs. Tinder Box sold just like his name tinder boxes. That wasn't enough though to pay for the stuff he needed. He stole dogs at Appleloosa because this place had the highest problem with illegal dog fighting.
Now behind Puppy Love's shelter was just puppies but there was another dog that was a Pitbull. That dog was what Tinder Box was after. He looked around to find the Pitbull and heard something growl. Then he saw the Pitbull lunge at him luckily it was behind a fence. The dog barked and tried to reach for Tinder Box
"There you are. You are going to make me a lot of bits."
Fluttershy how are Pitbull's trained to fight.
"Pitbull's in the fighting rings are bred to be aggressive. They train them by sometimes tying chains around their neck with a weight on to it. They will put them on a treadmill to make them stronger. However, a terrible way that I don't like is some even inject them with steroids."
Tinder Box had to get inside where the Pitbull was in. He wasn't stupid enough to enter inside with the Pit Bull awake. He took a tranquillizer gun and knocked out the Pitbull out cold.
"Sweet Dreams dog." Tinder Box said entering the cage.
Everything seemed to be going well until Tinder Box heard somepony coming. He locked the gate with him and the Pitbull inside and tried to hide in the dark as best as he could.
"Is somepony there!?" A mare shouted. It was Puppy Love the owner of the dog shelter looking for thieves
Tinder Box was well hidden but then Puppy Love decided to take a nap behind the shelter.
"Dammit." Tinder Box whispered. He would have to wait.
After two hours of a quick nap Puppy Love began to wake up. Tinder Box was finally happy. However, the Pitbull also woke up and he woke up hungry.
*Growl!!!*
"Oh no." Tinder Box saw and tried to open the door but...
*Chomp!*
"Agh!!! Ack!!!!"
The Pitbull latched onto Tinder Box's neck and was not letting go.
Puppy Love saw this. "What are you doing in there!!?" She shouted. All she could do was watch unless she wanted to be part of this late night snack.
"Blurgh!!!" Tinder Box began to spit out blood.
After two minutes Tinder Box was on the ground dead as the Pitbull enjoyed its snack. Puppy Love sighed and decided to alert the sheriff about what happened. Fluttershy how did Tinder Box die.
"A Pitbull can bite with around 300 pounds of pressure. It latched onto this ponies neck and crushed his trachea. That caused him not to able to take in any air into his lungs. The teeth punctured his neck and he bled from the arteries. The blood flowed into his lungs and he basically choked on his own blood. "
Tinder Box was an animal who belonged in a cage for stealing dogs all just for some quick bits. He got put in a cage and all the animals he stole finally caught up to him. This Pitbull finally put him in...The Pits.
Way To Die #118: Dog Dead Afternoon
Date: February 22, 2014
"I need more. More! More!" Citrus Blush shouted.
You're probably wondering what she wanted more of. Well awhile go Citrus had an accident and broke her hind legs. Now she was shouting at a hospital who slammed the door on her a couple a days earlier. She wanted more of opioid they gave her when she was injured. However, they didn't let her get anymore since she was all better. She wouldn't take no for an answer. Nurse Redheart have you seen pony’s addictive to opioids.
"When somepony is addictive to opioids or any other type of drug, and they start to feel withdrawal symptoms. It means it starts to leave their body. They go into a state of the most severe flu one's ever had. If you can imagine taking a pill and having that flu completely go away. They usually feel not only okay. They feel better than okay and feeling euphoric. Then they become desperate just to get a hold of that pill. They'll do pretty much anything to get that pill."
Citrus needed a way inside she waited for just the right time. She waited and waited and waited until she couldn't wait any longer. She decided to make up something so that the ponies inside would rush outside. She called the hospital from a pay phone near the back of the hospital that had a garage door and made up a story. The hospital picks up the phone.
"Canterlot Hospital how may I help you." An employee said.
"We need help! There is an old mare and she's screaming!! There is Blood everywhere!! Were near Broadway Street!! Help!!!!
"Were on our way." The employee that answered the phone alerted the hospital."Everypony we have a problem!! Mare in distress at Broadway street!!"
Everypony got ready and Citrus heard the back garage door open. Two big stallions were hauling an ambulance cart with the alarm going off. Inside the cart were ponies ready to go help the fake mare. This was her chance Citrus got inside and went into a closet containing the pills she wanted. She grabbed as many as she could then she went to escape. The garage door was closing she tried to go under it but dropped her pills. She tried to grab them but...
*Crack!!*
Agh!! Ahh!! Ugh!!
The garage door that had a broken safety shut off switch crushed her with fifteen hundred pounds of pressure.
"Uhh.."
She was done for.
What happened to poor Citrus Nurse Redheart.
"On average a pony’s chest will collapse at about eight hundred pounds of pressure. Due to the pressure of the door, it crushed her ribcage. Fractured her ribs and punctured her lungs making it impossible for her to breathe. Causing her to die."
Citrus Blush was crushed. Hey somepony should...Call an ambulance.
Way To Die #119: Raider Of The Lost Narc
Date: November 7, 2019
"Look what we got for you today a fully functional folding ladder."
Well look who's on television. It's Chestnut Magnifico. She wanted to be a great star on the big screen. Instead.
"This ladder is very sturdy let me show you what I mean." Chestnut said getting on the ladder.
She instead got a job as a television shopping host. Not the best way to show what talent you got at acting but it paid well. She had to start somewhere though right. Well, there was one problem with Chestnut. She.
*Clank!!*
"Waa!!"
*Bang!!" Clang!!*
Was a clutz. The ladder fell that she was standing on. "Ow!!" She was the most accident-prone shopping host anyone has ever seen.
Everyone saw her live and laughed at what happened to her. They even put a compilation online of her random accidents she's had. She hated everyone that made fun of her. She was famous for all the wrong reasons. She looked up online checking to see how to deal with her problem and even though she tried everything the websites told her to do she would always mess up miserably. We have a human named Derpy who is part of a group that helps with issues like this that can tell us more about it.
"A lot of stuff can happen in life. I've heard many stories of people actually having stuff happen to them on live T.V. I've heard of lights blowing out, power outages, letting out a swear word come out, and lots of injuries. Pretty much what we say in our group. We just don't know what went wrong."
Knowing what you now know about Chestnut maybe you think they would fire her. Well, that's some wishful thinking. People loved watching her get hurt. However, they didn't want her anymore. She had a contract though with the company saying she was able to stay for another three months.
"You fire me then you'll be in serious legal trouble! I hope you have a good lawyer!" She would tell the people working with her.
They didn't want her to get hurt anymore so after another incident she had they decided to make her try to sell a onesie. That product was perfect there was no way anyone can get hurt with that. Chestnut, however, was a master of mishap.
"This onesie is known as the Wonder Onesie. It's comfortable and you can move around very freely. If you order now, we will also throw in these aroma therapy candles." Chestnut said getting close to the candles and...
*Fwoosh!!*
"Woah!!! Ahhh!!! Help!!! It's on fire!!!"
The onesie she was wearing caught fire due to the candles. The people tried to put her out, but the water extinguisher was already used up with the other problems Chestnut had before. Yeah, it wasn't her first time on fire but.
"Ahh!! I'm on fire!!! Ahh!!!!"
It was the last time. After two minutes of struggling. She was burned to a crisp.
Nurse Redheart how did this women die.
"When this human caught fire, her skin started peeling away. Her hair follicles started burning away and her internal organs started failing. She had pain, shock, and dehydration which is a painful way to die."
Chestnut wanted to be a star. However, she was her own worst enemy. In the end the only the thing she had to fear...Was fear herself. Hey everybody the Wonder Onesie is now 50% off.
Way To Die #120: Onesie & Donesie
Date: January 2, 2018
Welcome to Our Town this place use to be where ponies didn't need a cutie mark and everypony was equal. Well actually not really. In the end the town sure has changed for the better the only problem is the town is very new and is not really with the modern technology of other towns. One thing that is not like today is the banks.
In today’s digital age banks can send trading of bits around the world in just a nanosecond and many ponies just use their credit cards. In Our Town they use pipes and fans. Sending bits or anything else through a pipe that would suck it up and send it flying to its destination. Twilight how does this machine work and what's it called.
"It's called a pneumatic tube system. The driving force behind it is pneumatics. When you have a fan attached at one end of the tube it generates a positive pressure which pushes the transport canister away from the fan. The transport canister has cuffs that creates an airtight seal with the pipe."
Well, that seems nice right. Well, it was. It was also very nice for a mare name Chips. She used to gamble her bits and win many times that is until Our Town started putting laws around gambling. Chips needed bits and she needed it fast. She got an idea. She dug underground and found a pneumatic tube system. She went to the bank to know when they would send bits through the pipes. She then found out the best time.
"Five o' clock in the afternoon. That is the best time." She said as she wrote that down in a note pad.
Five o' clock is when the bank would send so many bits at that time before closing for the day. She cut through the pipe with a saw. Jammed a piece of wood into the hole. In a matter of seconds.
*Shwoop*
A canister got stuck on the wood and Chips was able to grab it and see the loot she got.
"Sweet 200 bits and more coming."
The bank did not disappoint. Soon she was intercepting everything the bank was sending. She was loving what she got. However, one problem was more canisters came flying through the tube and getting stuck with the wood that Chips put in. She couldn't keep up with grabbing them and taking them out of the tube.
"Woah to fast."
Pressure began to build up in the pipe.
"Alright let’s check another." She tried to pull another canister. "What the? It's stuck." She tried harder to pull. Finally, she tried with all her might "It's moving I can fee-
*Boom!!!!*
In the end. Her pipe dream. Turned into a nightmare. Twilight what should have Chips known.
"When you cut the pipe in a pneumatic tube system you normally release pressure and render the system useless. However, in this case when this thief blocked the tube the transport canisters got stuck and pressure started building up. Resulting in a catastrophic failure of the tube itself. It made it explode and all those sharp shrapnel's got embedded into her skull. Through the brain. Killing her instantly."
Chips thought she had an airtight plan for the perfect crime. Then she got greedy. Instead of getting rich. She ended being buried... In a ditch.
Way To Die #121: Crack Piped
Author's Note
Shadowking 78 made the OC I made the death
Author's Note
uotapo made the art I made the death
Silver Spoon
Date: July 3, 2019
Silver Spoon was on her horse and had just won the hardest horse race in the city.
"Ugh..."
You're probably wondering then why she sounds so awful. She also looked very skinny, and her eyes had bags under them. Well to understand why. Let's go back to the beginning where this all started.
Silver Spoon was a very good horse rider she knew how to win and the right time to speed up and beat the competition. The problem was the horse she had made a comment after the last race. The horse was tired and panting not because of the race. It was because of her size. Silver Spoon had gained a couple of pounds, but she didn't think she was that fat. Well, the horse thought otherwise. With the big competition coming up. Silver Spoon needed to lose some weight. It's not uncommon for horse riders. We got a human here named Gallop that knows all about horse riding.
"A horse riders weight is essential for their career. You need to be lighter to be the fastest and to win the most races. I do know of one horse rider that just eats a lot and just chunks it all up which is gross. That's some way to maintain weight. Some also workout but sometimes the time is not on their side and some find that as the only way. All I can say is you win some and you lose some."
Losing was not in Silver Spoon's dictionary. She did hit the weights, but she also bought with the money she had. Illegal laxatives that were not legal in the country she lived in. In about three weeks later she had become twenty pounds lighter, and the race was tommorow.
"Yes, I did it."
*Growl*
"Ugh. Hold on stomach will eat after tomorrow."
Her stomach was making terrible noises, but she decided to ignore it, Once tomorrow came Silver Spoon won easily and now she had the trophy that she wanted. Now you’re all caught up. She was riding her horse and finally...
*Thud*
She fell off her horse and was dead.
"Ahhh!! someone call an ambulance!!" Someone shouted.
Nurse Snowheart you know a lot about stomach problems. Explain the issue Silver Spoon had.
"The laxatives caused her body to suffer from severe dehydration and this dehydration led to renal failure. It made her have low potassium in her blood. This eventually what cause her kidney to shut down and resulting in her death."
For Silver Spoon it was winning at all costs. She won the race and won the trophy but there was one thing that she did lose and that was...Her life.
Way To Die #122: Die-arrhea
Date: November 12, 2014
Meet The Great Delfino. He was...Well...Actually he really wasn't that great. His magic act had only one trick. He would put audience asleep as fast as possible. Now here he is in a theater where most ponies could get their big break. Up Talent who was a mare needed somepony to fill in the blank one day she had nopony to perform but then she found Delfino. She was desperate so she gave him one night.
Delfino was doing all the simple tricks he did and pretty much it made the crowd yawn and grow tired. Worst of all Up Talent had the role of playing his assistant since the last assistant Delfino had left because he wouldn't pay her. This night was like every other night and Delfino was putting his crowd to sleep.
"Now everypony I shall do the most dangerous stunt I shall stop a bullet with my mouth!"
This caught the crowd’s attention and they began to look with a little bit of excitement. Trixie what is that trick Delfino's trying to pull off.
"This awful magician is trying to pull off. The Bullet Catch. It's probably one of the deadliest effects in magic and I would never perform it. A lot can go wrong. About twelve magicians have died by different reasons doing this trick."
Delfino being not so good with his tricks didn't care how dangerous this was. He wanted ponies to notice him and maybe began to rise to fame. He was going to do this trick one way or another. The way he was going to do it was the simplest way. He told Up Talent to take a gun he had loaded with blanks and put a bullet in his mouth. She would fire at him, and he would fall over then stand up and show the bullet in his mouth so it would look like he stopped it.
Once the trick was ready Delfino and Up Talent go back on stage and Delfino speaks some stupid mumbo jumbo while hitting the gun with his wand and finally it was time.
Up Talent was ready to fire and Delfino got on the other side of the stage. "Fire!" He shouted.
*Bang!!!*
"Ta-Da." Up Talent said smiling at the crowd.
However, the crowd was screaming. Up Talent looked a Delfino and realized he was dead as his act. What happened? She knew the gun was loaded with blanks. Well Trixie do you know?
"When he tapped the gun the hunked-tip of his wand accidently dropped into the gun barrel when he tapped it. So when
Up Talent fired the gun Delfino's jugular vein got severed by the chunked-tip of his wand and he bled out and died."
It all went horribly wrong. However, his final trick produced some real magic. The crowd was about to fall asleep. With one death they woke up. That was a great trick Delfino. You're famous now...Now everyone knows the story of the late Delfino
Way To Die #123: Abracadaver
Date: April 3, 2018
Welcome to Changeling Love Club. This club has two rules. Rule number one seduce someone you love. Rule number two get a room in the back and have some fun. Feather Bangs was here to follow all the rules. He had the looks, and he was cool with everyone. Only one problem he had his own doubts. His dick was not so big. In this club they have a saying if it's not big enough you might as well not come.
"Time to pull out. The Big One."
Feather Bangs whispered to himself. Since everyone in this club was obsessed with size, he had a plan. He went to the bathroom and got in one of the stalls. The Big One as he called it was a sausage that was twelve inches long. Why would he do this? Well, we got a sexologist human name Chrysalis who also owns this club that might know why.
"I remember this person in my club. Anyways I think a guy that does that is unbelievably unsure of himself and really insecure about who they are. Instead of saying here's who I really am. He's creating this fake penis and getting attention for it. If a woman is attracted to that what's going to happen next. Is he going to take them home and show her his sausage? I mean I've been around the ropes in the bed, and I have used ropes quite literally in the bed. Any size usually gets the job done. It's all about stamina and how long you can last. Don't forget about the foreplay."
He gets his sausage in position which is tying it on his left leg. He ties it down with some surgical tubing he also brought. Pulls his pants up and gets ready to party in this club. Once he left the bathroom girls were not looking at his dreamy eyes like usual. They were all looking below his waist and loved what they saw.
For four long hours every girl is either touching his sausage. Showing off their butts to him and even taking selfies next to his sausage tucked under his pants. Feather Bangs was used to attention, but he loved this attention way better. He is the man in this club.
Suddenly at the height of his triumph somethings is wrong. As another girl comes up to get a selfie with his sausage Feather bangs realizes somethings wrong. He feels like a bunch of scalpels are stabbing at his chest.
"Ahh!! Ah!!! Uhh!! Ohhh!!!"
The night of his life starts to blur.
*Plop!*
He fell to the ground with the girl under him.
"Ugh!! Get him off me!!" The girl shouted not pleased.
Some people help out and just think Feather Bangs maybe had a couple of drinks and passed out. However, in reality he was dead. What in the world happened? Chrysalis you know about the body as well tell us.
"Since this guy wrapped the surgical tubing to tight on his left leg, he got a clot. That leg is not getting any circulation. Finally, the clot will make its way slowly to the heart and into the lungs. This results to Pulmonary Embolism which is a blockage in one of the pulmonary arteries in your lungs and that can lead to death."
For Feather Bangs sized mattered. A little too much. For one night this tiny, tiny man had something between his legs...Something to die for.
Way To Die #124: Kill Basa
Date: March 29, 2019
"Come on you stupid dog before I sell you you're going to help me out first." A pony shouted heading to Whitetail Woods
I'd like you all to meet Magnet Bolt a pony who steals animals and sells them for bits. Usually, he steals dogs that can make puppies for a big payload. This dog he got yesterday was from Sweet Apple Acres. He got Applejack's dog Winona who wasn't fixed. How he captured her. Well while Winona was asleep, he put a metal collar around her neck. It didn't shock her but Magnet Bolt...Well his name should be a dead giveaway. He had a strong magnet in his bag attracted to that collar and Winona couldn't escape. They didn't stop her from trying but every try ended up with a yank from the neck and being dragged back to him.
Magnet Bolt brought Winona to Rambling Rock Ridge. "Stay put and keep guard I'm going to look for gems. You keep alert and make sure no Diamond Dogs get near me. Cause if I get caught so do you."
Magnet Bolt was going to dig for gems and took out a shovel. He began digging as Winona kept guard not liking it though. A couple of hours past and Magnet got a few gems but then he saw something. He saw a claw come out of a hole he just dug. He realized it was a Diamond Dog.
"Hey, you stupid dog I told you to keep guard! You're worthless." He shouted at Winona.
Winona whimpered luckily Magnet Bolt had a way of taking care of the Diamond Dog. He took out a stick out of his saddlebag. When Winona saw that she liked the look of that stick Fluttershy can you explain how dogs are like how they are now.
"We have bred canines from the original wolves and made them do specific tasks to what we want a canine to do. Such as fetch. Mostly dogs have been trained to do that. Dogs have evolved and most of us have them as pets, but it didn't start out that way. It started with simple relationship with a wolf to another to another and they evolved. It became so normal that nowadays many of us have dogs as pets and train them to do what we want them to do.”
Winona had been trained to know that a stick meant play time and to fetch it. Magnet took out a lighter lit up the stick and when he threw it Winona went after it. Winona got it in her mouth and the next step was to give it back to whoever threw it. She went back to Magnet Bolt who was covering his ears and had his eyes closed. Winona dropped the stick in her mouth right where he was standing, Then Winona saw the Diamond Dog, she hated keeping guard, but she didn't want to get this pony angry, so she went after the Diamond Dog scaring it underground. Magnet Bolt smelled smoke He looked down and saw the stick he threw was right beneath him.
"No, you stupid dog!!!! NO!!!!"
*BOOM!!!!*
Winona looked back and saw Magnet Bolt's limbs all over the place. What kind a stick was that? Oh, it was stick of dynamite. We have a pony named Bomber that knows about explosives.
"The basic chemical of a stick of dynamite is basically nitroglycerin and a compound to stabilize it which is diatomaceous earth or sawdust. A stick of dynamite has the force of two joules. A single joule is the equivalent of a one-ton cart coming at you at one hundred miles per hour. Basically, it will kill you."
"Winona!" A pony shouted.
It was Applejack and friends they went out looking for her. Winona ran to Applejack and jumped into her hoofs. The ponies looked around and realized what happened and smiled realizing that pony that stole Winona got what he deserved.
Before they left. Winona did something. This pony is always losing things. Winona saw his hoof on the ground picked it up and put it where Magnet Bolt used to be standing and used to be...Alive.
"Good Girl." Applejack said rubbing Winona's belly.
Way To Die #125: Die-Namite
Date: May 31, 2017
Location: Human World, Natural Forest Resort
Welcome everyone to Natural Forest Resort. It's a nice place. However, most people call it Au Natural Forest Resort. That's right in this resort everyone was wearing their birthday suits. It isn't actually that out of the ordinary in fact we have a human called Solar Rise that actually knows a bit about these types of resorts.
"Au Natural pretty much means nothing artificial you're the original. Places like this exist because sometimes people want to feel free, they don't want to deal with clothes. I've been to places like this, and I've held events as well to help people get used to it. The first time is hard I mean you're seeing people naked but in time you get used to it and enjoy it."
One human named Rose Heart was here at the resort to enjoy it as much as she could. She went into her tent and grabbed something from her bag it was a small camera that you can barely see. Rose Heart wanted to make money and the best that she made it was by selling X-rated films of people that didn't know they were being filmed. She also would join the camps and have fun with a male or female she didn't judge.
Today she was filming a couple. She put her secret camera in one tent. She went back to hers and turned on her laptop to see who she got today. Looks like luck was on her said. It's Twilight and Timber Spruce's tent she got. Looks like Timber Spruce was ready to give Twilight a hand.
"Jackpot." Rose Heart said looking at her laptop to see what the camera was seeing.
"What are you waiting for?" Twilight whispered. "Put your fingers in me." She said in a sultry tone on the bed with Timber on top of her. Timber gently pressed his middle finger against her with some force behind it. Twilight folds parted under his hand and his finger slipped between them into her inner wetness. He dipped lower and grazed across the entrance to her vagina. She leaned back a little and scooted closer in front of him, putting each of her feet over his legs to give him better access. He prodded her carefully at first, and then slowly sank his finger inside of her.
Twilight shuddered as she felt someone else's fingers inside of her. She had imagined what it would be like for so long. But would have never imagined that it would feel so good. She looked down and watched his second finger vanish into her lavender folds. He started moving them in and out of her. She could feel every contour of his fingers, his knuckles, as they moved inside her, making her tremble with every movement. He pressed them as deep as he could and started moving faster. It felt great.
"Uh Yes! Please don't stop!! More!!" Twilight shouted in utter bliss. Timber began curling his fingers inside her, hitting her G-spot with gusto. Twilight grabbed onto his shoulders to steady herself. It was all she could do to hang on as she felt her orgasm coming on fast. He could feel her legs starting to shake on him. At the last moment, in a move she did not expect, he brought his thumb into the equation, rubbing it against her clit.
"Timber!!!!" she cried out and threw her head back. The rest of her body followed her as she fell back onto her elbows. Her hips bucked up into the air in front of him as she came harder than she ever had before. Her pussy erupted as a jet of her cum sprayed out.
"That's what I'm talking about give me more to film." Rose said.
Twilight was now on top of Timber. She positioned his penis to her entrance. His tip was poised just outside the entrance of her vagina, just an inch further and it would be inside her.
His hands moved down to her hips and squeezed her ass.
"Ohh." she let out a moan
Timber pulled her hips down onto him. In an instant, his entire length was inside her. She nearly cried so loud, but his hand was quick to pull her face down to his as he kissed her. She kissed him back, harder. They laid there and made out, finally giving in to their passion, with him inside her at last. She could have just laid there and kissed him all night long, but there were other more pressing matters. Her hips fidgeted in his lap.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I hope I didn't hurt you!"
"No. Why would you think that?"
"You said you were a virgin. Didn't I just... you know, break your hymen?" Twilight couldn't stifle her chuckle.
"Timber, just because I've never had intercourse doesn't mean I've never...used things." He looked at her strangely. She spelled it out for him. "Dildos exist."
"Oh." She wouldn't wait another second. She started moving up and down on him. The rather plain vibrators she had were nothing compared to the length and girth of his penis. His warmth, the irregular texture of his veins along his shaft. She leaned down and kissed him again.
His hips began to move, thrusting up into her in time with her movements. Timber was not touching her g-spot. It was fucking it. The knot in her tummy pulled tighter and tighter as he fucked her, and her hand sped up.
"F-f--fuck!" she moaned. The knot snapped free, and her pussy gushed her orgasm out around his dick, soaking him and the bed sheets under them. She fell forward onto him again, still trembling as he continued to pump in and out of her, prolonging her climax. "I love you, Timber!"
"I love you too, Twilight!" he replied, this time with just as much passion as her. She sat up again and he propped himself up on his elbow, taking her breast in his hand, kneading it as he sucked on her other nipple. It was all she could do to just sit there and let him suckle. Her legs were still numb from her cumming. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled her over onto her back. He wasn't just passively lying there and letting her fuck him. He was taking control at last. And she loved it.
Their new position gave him more freedom and a wider range of movement. He pressed her knees to her chest and hilted into her, filling her completely. She felt his tip just barely kissing her cervix.
"A perfect fit," he breathed.
"Like lock and key," she said with a smile. "Do you think you can get me to cum again?"
"You know it!" he said, accepting the challenge. He started moving again, this time more aggressively. His hips smacked against hers, making wet slaps from her previous orgasm. Each time he hilted, he would bump against her clit, sending shivers through her body.
"So- so good," Twilight moaned, still reveling in the feeling of someone other than herself giving her this pleasure. Timber had paced himself well and kept aware of how she was reacting to his movements. His own satisfaction was assured. But he wanted to see to it that she got hers as well.
"Love you so much!" he groaned. He had said it so many times before, and never more true than now. She squirmed and writhed under him as he continued to make love to her. He could feel her arm trembling around his back as she held onto him. He couldn't tell if she was getting any closer, but he could sense his own climax coming on soon.
"Keep going," she begged. "I'm almost there!" Timber redoubled his efforts, taking a few sharp breaths. His hips thrusted faster, harder, deeper. It was a mad race to get her to cum before he did. "K-keep... going! I -I'm almo...st, ah, ah AH!" Twilight cried out as her legs wrapped around behind him, pulling him into her as hard as she could. Her entire body shook, and he felt her orgasm grip and wring on his cock as she soaked their laps and the bedding again. "Cumming!" It was too much for him. He felt his balls tighten. He pushed himself up off the mattress, but Twilight grabbed him and pulled him back down to hug him. His muscles failed him, turning his limbs to jelly on the brink of orgasm.
"Twilight!" he tried to call out, but his voice was muffled into the pillow. It was too late. Where his strength failed, hers intensified. Her legs locked behind him and held him tight to her as she came, pressing the tip of his dick firmly against her cervix as he began to pulse and throb inside her. She was only vaguely aware of him twitching inside her amidst the bliss of her euphoric ecstasy. With her warm wetness everywhere, she failed to realize the hot load pumping inside her.
He tried again in vain to pull out, even as his first rope of semen was already inside her. Her legs only pulled him back harder as he kept spurting. The tiny space left in her vagina was already full of his cum. With no exit, the pressure forced his seed deeper inside her. With the key firmly lined up in the lock, his last few ropes went straight from his tip, directly through the tiny opening of her cervix into her womb.
TImber's first reflex was to pull out immediately. He lifted himself up to get off.
"Stay," she begged, holding onto him weakly. "Stay with me please." He winced. But he realized that the damage had already been done. Pulling out now would make no difference. He lowered himself back down and embraced her again. "I love you," she cooed.
"Twilight you shouldn't have held me down like that I- I came!"
"Me too," she said, barely skirting the edge of consciousness.
"I mean I came inside you," he said. The words washed over her like gentle waves at first, not quite registering. She processed them again in her brain, beyond the simple 'I had a climax of pleasure' information, and onto the more pressing 'inside her' part. Her eyes blinked and focused, looking up at him. "That means."
Twilight put a finger on to his lips. "Relax I'm on the pill. Think you can go another round.
"I'll have you screaming in no time." Timber said.
Finally, Rose got enough and once they were done, she got her secret camera back. One problem was that watching them put her in a state of need. She wanted to get off, so she went to her tent which was full of technology she used. She Closed it and since she didn't have anyone, she opened her laptop again and played the recording of Timber Spruce and Twilight and began fingering herself.
"Yes! Fuck Yeah!! Oh, Timber I wish I was with you!! Also, Twilight as well look at that ass!! Now I know why he wants to squeeze it!"
Everything was going fine. Until someone began to ring a bell. Everyone knew that the bell meant a storm was coming. Luckily the resort had a place to stay inside and be safe. All the naked people went inside and took down their tents. However, Rose Heart was too much concentrated with playing with herself that she didn't hear the bell. The storm got worse, and the wind blew finally after Rose Heart had enough fun, she was about to leave her tent.
*Fhwomp*
"Ahhh!!!"
The tent she was in got ripped from the ground and was now flying in the air. How did the tent get loose? We have a human named Air Fury which can explain it. The wind is blowing against this tent. Then as soon as the wind gets underneath the tent and pushes the frame of the tent below you got pretty much the same idea as airplane flight.”
She was being shoved all over the place in her tent getting hurt by her equipment that she used to record people with. Finally, after minutes of getting hurt covered in bruises the tent began to land. Maybe she would be okay.
*Slam!!!*
What was that? That was the tent hitting the side of a log cabin in the woods.
The person who owned the log cabin came out in the rain to see what hit his house.
"What the? A tent."
He unzipped the tent and what he found is that Rose Heart had a cracked skull and bones.
"Oh my!! Miss are you alright!! Hello!! Hello!!!"
Nurse Redheart what happened to poor Rose Heart.
“She landed on the shed and here head hit so hard that her brain bounced in the back of her skull. Her skull cracked and when that happens some bones from the skull can go in the brain. This is called a skull fracture. The brain can’t function and can’t send any signals to the body, and this results in death.”
Rose Heart filmed people for cash. She got a little flustered and decided to get off. She got off alright. She flew but she came down just like her male people that watched her films…Very hard.
Way To Die #126: UninTented
Date: February 8, 2019
"Listen up, y'all, 'cause this is it. The beat that I'm bangin' is delicious."
You hear that music. That music is playing at a Strip Club that's full of customer's ready to pay for a good time. There was one good stripper tonight named Frosty Orange or as many people know her as her stage name Jade. She can wrap herself around a pole like you couldn't believe.
"Alright boys who's ready for Jade. Let me hear ya!" The man working the music shouted.
All the men cheered as Frosty came out wearing under garments with the color Jade.
Frosty licked her lips as the saliva glossed her lips slightly. The room’s lights slowly increased with the music. Frosty begins to circle the pole and flaunt her ass, legs, and those boobs. Frosty loved when all eyes were on her but the more thing that aroused her was the dollar bills being thrown at her. She was aroused and her nipples were poking out of her bra. They looked like they could cut through ice.
"We got another girl here tonight going to perform with Jade let's hear it for Roxy!"
Roxy or her real name Sonata came out wearing black undergarments. She started dancing and the men started watching her. Frosty didn't like that especially when the men began to throw dollar bills at her. Frosty decided to get a bit on the action. She reaches out and starts squeezing Sonata's breasts making her moan. Frosty turned around and bent over, allowing Sonata to lightly buck her hips, gently patting her crotch against the other's ass.
"Oh Yeah!" Sonata moaned and when she realized she had a stain her black panties and she left the stage to quickly clean herself up.
Look like Frosty had won this cash bath. However, there was a problem. The man working the music was also watching those girls and was not paying attention to where his hands were going. As Frosty danced the man dropped his drink, he was drinking on the music table he was working on.
*Bzzzz*
"Oh shit!" He shouted.
It didn't shock him, but it made the strobe lights go off. The lights began to flash and flash as fast as they could.
"Blrr. Blagh. Blrr."
What's that noise?
*Plop!*
Oh, it's Frosty with blood coming out of her mouth and dropping dead on the stage. What happened you may be asking? Well, we got a human eye doctor here named Eye Drops to explain.
"In the visual cortex of the brain where vision and light are processed flickering from a stroke like in this case can cause a seizure. When she had a seizure the muscles of her jaw contracted. She bit down on her tongue which started to bleed profusely. She swallowed her tongue choked on it and she died.
Frosty knew how to shake it. She wanted everyone's eyes on her. She hated sharing the spotlight but when the lights were on her she seized up. Then...It was lights out.
Way To Die #128: Shine Bright Like A DIE-mond
Date: May 22, 2017
Meaty opened his store and heard someone. It was someone stuck in the freezer. He quickly opened it.
"Oh my god! What's wrong with you!"
Will get to that later. Let's go back a bit to see who he is yelling at.
*Twelve Hours Ago*
Let me introduce you to Teddy. He was a football player that was a defender that would pretty much pummel you if you tried to get close to the quarterback. He had the muscles he had everything. He even had a hot cheerleading girlfriend as well. The one thing he loved to eat was meat. Every day he would go to Meat Lover's Store and eat as much as he could.
Meat Lover the owner was going through troubled times though. Today a bunch of vegan protestors were at his store. He had nothing against them until they began to vandalize his place. Every day they would come and not stop.
"Leave me alone!! If you're not here for food, go away!!" He shouted at them.
Teddy didn't care what they shouted at him as he entered the store, and the other customers felt the same as well. Teddy gave Meat Lover an idea. He whispered it in his ear and Meat Lover got a devilish smile on his face. He went to the freezer and took a big piece of meat.
He began to put on a show for the vegan lovers and cut the meat in front of them while they watched in horror the customer's he had cheered him on. It helped get rid of most of the vegan people and Meat Lover decided to give Teddy a treat he decided to make Teddy a special customer where he could come anytime and eat all the Meat he wanted.
All went well until Teddy couldn't get enough of Meat and decided to stay after hours and as Meat Lover closed his store for the day Teddy went to the freezer. However, the freezer door closed behind him, and the door couldn't be open on the inside. You would think the freezing temperature would kill him. You would be right, but luck was on Teddy's side. The Freezer was broken, and Meat Lover was going to fix it tomorrow.
"My sweet meat it's just you and me now." Teddy said to himself.
Teddy began to see what meat to eat. He couldn't open the freezer door. So, he ate the meat raw. He liked his meat on the rare side, so it wasn't a big difference. He should have passed on the rabbit sushi he was eating. A few hours after eating all that meat he began to hallucinate. The meat around him began to yell at him for eating them. He began to sweat profusely.
Ahh! Ahh!!! What's happening!!! Leave me alone!!!!" He shouted.
Then his mouth filled with foam
"Bfraaaa!!!!"
What's happening to him Nurse Red Heart?
"Teddy got infected with rabies. Rabies is a viral disease that causes acute inflammation of the brain called encephalitis. It can not only be gotten by being bit by a carrier the rabies virus can also live inside a dead carrier which is what this football player was eating. Foaming of the mouth occurs when the throat muscles start going into paralytic shock causing an inability to swallow."
Only a handful of people who contact rabies can tell their story because they live.
Back to where we left off
*Meaty Open's His Store*
Meaty opened his store and heard someone. It was someone stuck in the freezer. He quickly opened it. Out comes Teddy with his mouth foaming and yelling.
"BFRAAA!!!!"
"Oh my god! What's wrong with you!"
*Thwump*
Teddy fell to the ground...Dead.
Teddy loved to eat meat. He couldn't get enough. The creatures that he ate decided to bite back. Meat Lover threw away the meat in the freezer. The ambulance came and took away Teddy from that freezer and…put him in another.
Way To Die #129: You Swilly Rabbit
Date: October 28, 2013
"Ahh!! Ugh!! Help!!"
Something was walking with skin falling off and blood dripping. Look out it's a zompony. Well actually no that's Grave Digger looking to be a bit in trouble. What happened to him well we've heard of him in some of our deaths before. Grave Digger took his job seriously. Well at least he used to when he started years ago. He would dig a hole for somepony and repeat. After doing it for years though he got sick of it.
"Only twenty more years till retirement." He said digging another hole.
All he really wanted to do was golf. Every time he got the chance he would golf. Even when he was on the clock, he would bring his golf bag and even play golf in the cemetery. It was his own golf course. He would use the tombstones and other things he had to play golf with. He had no respect to ponies that have passed away. He dug holes and tried to get a hole in one. Sometimes he got so lazy he didn't even bury the caskets holding dead ponies and try to get a hole in one in the hole they were in.
"Hole in one ya hear that from the dead!! Ha Ha!"
He sprayed fungicide on the grass and kept playing. He picked up his golf tees by using his mouth. He showed a complete lack of respect to the occupants. He took a piss near someponies tombstone and began to play golf again. One day though Grave Digger had a high fever and blisters all over his body. Thinking nothing of it and thought it was just the flu he would take simple medicine. His family was worried about him. Stubborn not to go to a doctor even though the family begged him to go he went to his cemetery instead to...work.
"I' m fine I don't need no doctor!! Now give me my golf bag!!" He shouted at his family.
That day he played like he always did. Then he started to feel tired. He found some shade and decided to sleep off the flu he had. While he was asleep two emo ponies who were a couple sneaked into his cemetery and began making out.
"I wonder if will see a zompony. Ha ha." The stallion said.
"Well let me bite you on your neck you sexy stallion." The mare said given the stallion a hickey.
After an hour of them making out Grave Digger finally woke up and his flu wasn't gone but that was the least of his problems.
"Ahh!! Ugh!! Help!!" When Grave Digger woke up the blisters, he had was now his skin peeling off. His mouth was full of blood. When he saw the emo couple, he tried to ask for help but to them he looked like a real zompony
"Ahhh!!!" The mare shouted.
"Let's get out of here!!!" The stallion shouted.
They ran off and Grave Digger...
*Plop*
Finally hit the ground dead.
How did his sickness end up like that anyways? Twilight explain more of what happened here.
"When he sprayed fungicide on the grass and held the golf tees that he put on the ground with his mouth he ingested chlorothalonil a very commonly used fungicide. Unfortunately for him had an allergic reaction to it. This caused flu like symptoms and the next phase is your skin begins to peel off. It's very rapid and within an hour it's all over your body and even the inside of your body the same thing is happening. You can actually choke on your own windpipe and die from asphyxiation.
Grave Digger had no respect for the dead. The ponies under the grave hated him and decided it was time for him to die. Hey, Grave Digger, I need you to dig another hole...For yourself.
Way To Die #130: Par For The Corpse
Date: November 21, 2019
Alright everyone let me introduce you to three boys that call themselves The Diamond Boys. What they did was steal and make everyone's life a living hell with the pranks they did. They met each other when they were seven years old and by then they started robbing candy stores and pranking little girls by dropping mud on them. The more they grew the worse and dangerous their pranks got. They've been arrested a couple of times, but nothing got through their thick skulls. If a brain was even in there.
The older they got the more dangerous their pranks got. They would put butter on people’s stairs near their home and watch them fall and hurt themselves. They would loosen the bolts on someone's bike so they would fall while riding it. There however, was one thing that they learned in school. In fact, maybe it was the only thing they listened to. They learned they could mess with people eyes with a mirror. They had a piece of mirror and would hold it a just the right angle on a street to blind people driving.
"Ha! Ha! Drive Safety!" The three of them said together blinding another driver.
How does a mirror work you might ask? Well Sci-Twi knows how.
"By varying the angel of the mirror with respect to the incoming ray you're controlling the angle of the of reflected waves. Therefore, you can aim it in this case at the eyes of a driver and over 95% of the light is reflected and is harmful for your eyes and makes you blind for a couple of seconds."
This is funny." One of the Diamond Boys said.
Then up their street came a grey car a car with a bubbly pattern. The boys got ready shined their light and the car began to swerve. Then began to laugh but this car didn't stop, and this car hit a hydrant.
*Splosh!!!*
The hydrant exploded out of the ground making the water under it erupt.
"Woah." The Diamond Boys said. Then.
*Crack!!!*
The hydrant cracked their skulls right open. All three of them should have ducked instead of looking in amazement at the hydrant coming right at them. The driver of the car was the worst person to blind. Derpy was the owner of the car how she got her license no one will ever know. She barely passed her driver’s test and when they blinded her, she couldn't see and instead of hitting the breaks she hit the accelerator.
Sci-Twi tell us what happened to the Diamond Boys.
"In this situation there was such significant blunt injury to these three and the back part of their skull. This created a fracture which allowed brain tissue to erupt, and death occurred within seconds."
The Diamond Boys were big jerks. Everyone hated them. Well, I guess the teachers were right. They were scatter brains. Because now their brains...Are scattered all over the sidewalk.
Way To Die #131: Die-Drant
Date: June 3, 2014
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Fuchsia Blush. She is one of the band members of Trixie's band known as Trixie and the Illusions. They are in the top ten most famous bands. They even made it to the finals in The Battle of The Bands. They still are popular but lately ego and jealously have been tearing them apart. What was once healthy competitiveness had turn into to flat out hatred. After finishing another concert Fuchsia had something to say to her band members.
"I should have been in the spotlight more Trixie. Your big fat ass pushed me out of the way!!" Fuchsia shouted.
"Well at least Trixie has an ass the boys want to see!!" Trixie shouted back
"Girls please this isn't good for us." Lavender Lace said who was another member of the band trying to keep them from fighting.
There was constant tension after every concert. In fact, it got so toxic that even Trixie ad Fuchsia would fight on stage. Luckily, the fans watching thought it was all an act and it looked staged. As they fought Lavender would just play and pretend to go with it. In band fighting is not unheard of. Adagio has a lot to say about it herself.
"In bands. Fighting is a funny thing because you always see it. You may see a lead singer that is always stealing the spotlight and the others want a piece of it which leads to pushing and shoving. Sometimes they work it out. With my sisters we.... Sometimes work it out as well. It’s usually fighting for the fame. You want to be the one that everyone's talking about. Some band members become so toxic that they even began getting mad at the fans and they even jump off the stage and attack the fans."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands a longer solo!!"
"Shut up about that!! I have something that the fans will love to see!!"
Today’s fight was about Fuchsia’s new prop. A coffin which would make for a killer entrance. Finally, after fighting for a bit Fuchsia got her way.
On the stage the band began to play. Then some stage helpers rolled in Fuchsia’s coffin and she was ready to rise from the dead. That is until Trixie decided to play the longest guitar solo in history and was laying on the coffin that Fuchsia was in. It wouldn't be so bad would it. Well inside Fuchsia was heading for a finale she did not see coming.
*Cough!! Cough!!*
She began to cough profusely. Why? Well Fuchsia decided to up the theatric of her introduction with smoke and decided to use dry ice. Bad idea. Dry ice releases carbon dioxide and without the presence of oxygen she was unable to breath. She was now suffocating. She began coughing even more. Her body without oxygen could not perform any normal body functions. The lack of oxygen finally shut down all her body functions and she stopped moving. After Trixie was done with her solo the coffin's top was lifted and Fuchsia was not moving
"Ahhh!!!!" Trixie screamed and the crowd saw Fuchsia's dead body and screamed as well.
Fuchsia wanted to make a big entrance. Instead, she made an exit...To die for.
Way To Die #132: Coff-ing To Death
Date: May 3, 2018
Nice mane, nice body, and nice voice. This pony has been seen on stages all around Equestria. Let me introduce you to Songbird Serenade. She's at the top and was very famous. Right now, she was taking a break from touring and decided to rest. She came to Manehattan and booked a room in an expensive hotel on the top floor. She should be happy. Right. Well right now Songbird was feeling anything but happy. Even though she wasn't touring she still had to work tomorrow she was a super model as well. She had a photo shoot tomorrow.
She grabbed a pillow in her room and "Ahhhhh!!!!" Screamed in it.
She could never get a break and the worst thing that bothered her. She was hungry all the time. However, that's a problem. In her world of being famous if you're not thin you're out. She was so hungry and wished she could eat whatever she wanted. She went online to find any tip from other famous ponies that may help her with her problem. Nothing she found could help her. She couldn't take it anymore she developed a serious case of bulimia. Twilight tell us more about this disorder.
“Bulimia is a neurological and psychiatric disease with a lot of physiologic consequences to doing that. Many patients have a distortion of their body image and an obsessive desire to lose weight, in which bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression and self-induced vomiting. They think it's the only way out."
Songbird called room service.
"Room service what can I get you."
"EVERYTHING!!" She shouted.
The pony was shocked at what she said but if she paid for it, he really couldn't say no.
Once room service came and left the food surrounded around her, she began to eat as much as she could. She stuffed her face with every food imaginable. She hoped that the empty feeling she had would go away. She kept on eating even when she felt full. She loved the taste of the food, but she wasn't planning on digesting it. Songbird tried to get to the bathroom. Emphasize on tried. Her stomach felt so much pain. It was no tummy ache. She ate way over the limit. Twilight explain what is happening.
"Our stomach can hold about thirty ounces of food. To about one hundred and twenty or one hundred and sixty ounces your stomach has reached its limit and if you keep eating your stomach is basically going to burst.”
Finally, Songbird made it to the bathroom got herself over to the toilet. Before she could jam her hoof down her throat. Her stomach blew up and all the bacteria from the food flowed into her body. She went to into kidney failure then into shock and...
*Splash!!*
Her face fell into the toilet, and she was dead. Songbird made her life by singing and showing off her looks. For all you models out there. There are some thing online to change pictures and some models use it to. Don't end up like Songbird. Hey, look on the Brightside. She's still popular. Headline: Songbird Serenade Found With Her Face In The Toilet.
Way To Die #133: Gorge-ous
Date: August 23, 2016
"Call someone who cares!!"
Suri was easy to hate. She would ruin your reputation steal your ideas and take all the credit to herself. Her phone almost all the time made this noise.
*Ring!! Ring!!*
She was always on her phone and not to text, play, or watch videos. No, it was all about talking to her business people talk about the latest fashion her frie- I mean that she made. Right now, she was on her way to watch a movie. She was on her phone talking to someone and skipped the line to get some popcorn and soda.
"Hey, I was in front." A kid said behind her.
"I'm on the phone!!" She shouted back at him and took the popcorn and soda the kid paid for.
"Karen." The kid whispered.
She went inside the room the movie was playing and she still wouldn't stop talking on the phone.
"Shhh." Someone shushed her.
"Oh, it's a just a preview!! Sorry, someone is being so inconsiderate. Now well talk about my new latest fashion idea tomorrow." Suri said finally getting off her phone.
The lights began to dim and the trailers of movies coming soon began to play.
*Ring!! Ring!!*
Oh no it's Suri's phone did she forget to silence it. Nope she picked it up and began to talk. Talking on her phone in the movie theater made her a person just to hate more. We got a human named Box Office who is a Movie Theater Usher who know all too well about people that hate getting their movie experience ruined.
"People take the movie theaters very seriously now. Nowadays going to the movies is very expensive especially if it's a movie that many people have waited a week maybe even a year to see. When their experience in the movie theater gets ruined many people get angry. Fights have defiantly broken out for many reasons it could be wrong person in the wrong designated seat, a kid crying, someone trying to eat someone else's popcorn, and someone talking on the phone which is usually the most common complaint we have gotten.”
The trailers were over, and the movie started.
"I told you what you have to pay!! Take it or leave it!!" Suri shouted in her phone.
Finally, one of the audience member had enough and walked up to her. "Shhhh. Quiet were trying to watch the movie."
"Well how can you watch the movie while you’re shouting at me huh!! Sit down you’re just blocking the view!!" Suri shouted back.
Another audience member tried to make her stop. "Shhhh. I'm on a date."
"Yeah, well Shhhh!! Yourself!! As I was saying I'm not changing the price you need to pay!! Oh, are you gonna cry!! Ha! Ha-
*Boom!!!*
"Oh shit!!" An audience member shouted. Seeing that Suri's phone just exploded right while she was talking to it holding it next to her head.
The movie stopped and many people began to scream at the gruesome sight. Blood was squirting out of Suri’s left ear. What the heck just happened. What year did this death take place. Oh, I see. 2016 is when the new Samsung Galaxy Note 7 came out. Many people bought it. The only problem. Randomly some of the phones began to explode. Sci-Twi what happened to Suri here.
" Because she used her phone so much it started overheating. Most people usually ignore when their phone is hot but because this phone had a fault in its battery that was a serious issue and the phone exploded. When that happened and the phone was near her ear. Shards of metal traveled up her ear canal. Broke through the inner ear and embedded inside her brain making blood squirt out of her ear and she died instantly."
Suri used her phone all day and night and was jerk to anyone on the phone and also off the phone. She didn't care where she used it. However, when her phone overheated, and she wouldn't put it down the phone exploded. At least the audience wasn't to devested that their movie was ruined. What happened to Suri literally ...Blew them away.
Way To Die #134: Please Silence Your Life
Date: March 12, 2021
What is it about hospitals. You ever wonder when you’re in a hospital there is always something sexy going on. That's because it's true. Especially in Ponyville. Let me introduce to you Dr. Horse. Whenever he wasn't examining a patients. He was examining the Nurses in a very different way. Especially Nurse Tenderheart she was always tired after a hard day of work, but she had plenty of energy for Dr. Horse to help her out.
"What are we going to be examining today?" Dr. Horse asked.
"I have a problem I feel so wet down here mind if you take a closer look." Tenderheart said sexually showing her wet flower.
One day it was a slow day and Dr. Horse and Tenderheart decided to get it on in a room that they thought no one could see. They were wrong. It was see-through and another nurse named Sweetheart saw them and decided to watch the show. She leaned down to get a better view of what they were doing.
*Beep!*
What was that noise? Well get to that later. Now let's see what these two ponies are doing.
Tenderheart turned around, flagging her tail up high and giving Dr. Horse a good look at her soaked and puffy treasure as she winked it at him. It was such a primitive gesture, but she knew it would show her need for him better than any words ever could, the most simple but effective way of a mare telling a stallion ‘Come breed me'. Dr. Horse Approached her rear and pressed his tongue against the swollen flesh of her vulva, making Tenderheart gasp and start to lightly buck her hips against him, the sudden warmth and wetness on her over sensitive marehood as his tongue lapped over her plump lower lips sending a significant burst of pleasure throughout her. Dr. Horse continued to lick her for quite some time.
It wasn't long after the two-minute mark that Dr. Horse’s tongue found that magic spot inside Tenderheart. Dr. Horse liked that spot which made Tender rub her pussy on Dr. Horse's face. She cried out as she came hard, her passage milking Dr. Horse's tongue as she was almost blinded by her pleasure, her vision blurring as that wonderful orgasm shot through every nerve ending and made her whole-body tingle, feeling her clit constantly winking against his lower muzzle, her hips rocking against him.
Finally, after Tenderheart recovered, she turned around and saw Dr. Horse's member. "Oh, my I see that you have a bit of blood flowing and it seems to be to your lower region. Lucky for you I'm a nurse that knows how to take care of that problem."
As she stared at Dr. Horse's perfectly sized length, she debated on how to please him while watching his maleness slowly bob from her attention. She decided to start out simple and pressed her hooves against either side his medial ring, softly pulling the loose skin over the sensitive point. Now it was Dr. Horse's turn to feel pleasure, a wave beyond what his hoof could accomplish spreading throughout him as she rubbed one of the most sensitive parts of his stallionhood.
After a few more strokes, she removed her hooves and leaned closer before opening her mouth, softly licking the head as he grunted in approval. She breathed in deep – detecting his faint, masculine scent as she licked around the whole circumference of his tip – his light scent and the pheromones alongside making her feel slightly light–headed as she continued lubing him up. She made sure his head was nice and wet before suddenly pulling back, leaving his wet schlong throbbing in the cool breeze.
Dr. Horse whimpered as his hips softly bucked towards her, his length searching for the wet warmth it’d so suddenly lost. Tenderheart let him hump against the air for a moment. Teasing him.
Lining up his member and her mouth with her hoof. She suddenly pressed her muzzle down on his cock, taking the whole head in her mouth in one quick movement. The sudden return of the warmth and wetness – and this time encasing his whole head gave Dr. Horse quite by surprise. He humped up on instinct, pressing another inch of his shaft into her mouth. She grinned and looked up at him, her muzzle still on his cock as her eyes met his.
"Oh, buck that’s SOOOO hot!" He shouted.
Dr. Horse was in ecstasy – the sensation of her hot, wet mouth slowly working over him over sending out pulse after pulse of pleasure through him, setting his brain on overload as it surged throughout his body.
“Gonna…cum…soon.”
Tenderheart grinned cockily as she increased the speed of her bobbing, using her tongue to lick at the medial ring each time she reached that depth. Dr. Horse couldn't take anymore. He grunted loudly as he humped hard one last time into her mouth, pressing himself all the way to the back of her throat. He pumped loads and loads of spunk into Tenderheart's mouth which she swallowed not letting a single drop go to waste.
Moments later Tenderheart gave one last hard suck and Dr. Horse felt his throbs increase as his glans flared in her mouth, followed by a huge spike of pleasure as his orgasm started. He cummed again. Tenderheart felt the first burst of his cum shoot against the back of her throat and gagged as it triggered her gag reflex. She gagged as another shot went down her throat, fighting through the discomfort for she swallowed all the spunk is it rocketed down her throat while she kept sucking on his stallion hood, making Dr. Horse slowly pull out of and hump into her mouth on instinct as he came in her muzzle.
"Oh yeah!!" Dr. Horse shouted as he came in Tenderheart's mouth. Dr. Horse finally decided to lay down on a table in the room. Before Tenderheart would ask to get to the real main event.
*Beep!!!! Zap!!!!*
"Ahhhh!!!" Tenderheart shouted.
Dr. Horse's head was burnt and cooked. How did that happen?
Well Nurse Sweetheart who was watching the sexual show while hoofing off had one of her hoofs on the button of an x-ray machine, that’s exactly where Dr. Horse and Tenderheart decided to get it on. She kept her hoof on the button making the x-ray radiation reach higher and higher power. As soon as Dr. Horse laid down on the table. Sweetheart took her hoof off the button and the x-ray machine was right above Dr. Horse's head. We got a pony known as Gamma Ray that knows what happened to Dr. Horse.
"When somepony is exposed to constant radiation you will see problems with the patient. A total body exposure of 400 roentgens causes radiation sickness and death. When the button was released, and all the radiation went right to his head his brain was like an egg in a diner and was completely fried. Since his head was fried it left a burnt mark, he was exposed to 800 roentgens. Enough to kill two full grown ponies."
Dr. Horse and Tenderheart wanted to get it on anywhere. Nurse Sweetheart just wanted to see the show. Well two things got turned on today. Dr. Horse and the X-Ray machine.
Way To Die #135: Sex Ray
Date: July 5, 2018
The Human World just like Equestria always has its share of dummies. Of course, we already know that. Now one dummy that many people know about is Sonata. She was with her new friends today, Bab Seed, and Indigo Zap. Sonata being the oldest one out of all of them just bought something for tonight.
"Hey gals I got some booze!!" Sonata shouted bringing in a big case into Bab Seed's room.
"Ahh yeah!!" Zap and Bab cheered.
There about to get wasted but Zap had a game she wanted to play tonight. It was game called. Edward Forty Hands. Zap took out some duct tape and began to tape forty-ounce beer bottles on both hands of Sonata, and herself. Bab was going to be the judge of this competition. Bab took out a cigarette and started to smoke. "Time starts...Now!" she shouted.
Now I'm not sure how this game works but we have a human who works at a bar that does. Mr. Keg tell us the rules of this drinking game.
"Edward Forty Hands is pretty much drinking both bottles until they are empty and putting a lot of pressure on your bladder. The goal is to see how long a person can hold their pee. The winner gets a prize or just gets to gloat that they won. You get drunk and have a good time. It's a simple party game that many people play. I've seen many people play it and make a mess. Mostly the person that losses has to clean the mess they made."
Sonata and Zap kept drinking till finally Zap began to piss her pants.
"Ha! I see you peeing! I win!" Sonata shouted as she took another drink of one of her beer bottles. She was victorious.
"Alright you win. Hey, Bab, can you lend me one of your panties and pants. Also, take me to your bathroom."
'Sure." Bab picked went to her drawer and picked out some panties and pants for Zap. She spat out her cigarette and took Zap to the bathroom and closed the door to her room. Sonata stayed and was drunk but happy.
*Sizzzz*
Sonata then began to cough profusely.
“Cough!! Cough!!”
She realized Bab's room was filling up with smoke. How to this happen? Well, when Bab spat out her cigarette it rolled under her bed. The cigarette contacted with the highly flammable bed stuffing and Bab's room was now becoming a gas chamber. Sci-Twi how will this affect poor Sonata.
"Many beds are made of synthetic material that is flammable and when burned it may not start a fire since they've been manufactured to prevent that. However, they can't do anything about the smoke it's going to release. She breathed in the smoke and the lack of oxygen finally shut down all her body functions. She pretty much was in a self-made gas chamber."
Sonata tried to open the door but the bottles on her hand prevented her. She tried to use her teeth to get the duct tape off but being too drunk she couldn't.
“Cough!! Help!! Cough!!!!”
* Plop*
Finally, she fell to the ground and was dead. When Bab and Zap returned to Bab's room, they saw the smoke coming out and opened the door and realized that had one less dummy in their group.
"We got to call 911!!" Bab shouted grabbed her phone and left the room with Zap following.
Hey, Sonata, many people called you an airhead. Well at least it’s finally filled with something…Smoke.
Way To Die #136: Bottle-y Harmed
Date: August 17, 2017
A hurricane was going crazy in Neigh Orleans and was growing out of control. The Pegasi tried to contain it, but it was too strong. Not even the Wonderbolts could stop it. On a scale of one to ten this hurricane was a twelve. As thousands of relief workers poured in to aid the region, they had no idea that the storm also stirred up a lot of bad Juju. We got a pony named Calypso. She is a psychic and occult expert.
"Neigh Orleans is a place has a huge cult and attraction with vampires, voodoo, and the undead. After this hurricane hit a lot of the negative energy that came was from all the displaced corpses really did stir up some psychic phenomenon. It was very interesting even to me."
Many deaths occurred but here's one that you may not know about. Meet Swengallop. Used to be the manager of a pony named Coloratura. Now he is a just a pony trying to help others... Right. Well not really what he was not here to help anypony. He was here to help himself. Pretending to be a relief worker he was trying to find what he could smuggle from the crippled city. Then he found something that caught his eye. A church that looked destroyed.
"Jackpot." He said. He got inside by finding a window smashed and began to loot up his bag.
Stealing from the church is a new low. That's not going to sit well with Faust. Swengallop began grabbing the things made of gold and other things that ponies would pay many bits for. Swengallop realized this church was a goldmine. Pushing his luck, he decided to check the basement.
"Let's see what else they got." He went downstairs.
Once he got to the basement door. It was locked but with one swift kick it popped open. It was dark and he could barely see what was in front of him. He felt his way through and then he realized the basement was full of water. He kept going with his hooves completely under the water. Then he saw something in the dark a light switch.
"Sweet." He went to the switch and turned it on.
*Zaaaap!!!!!!*
"Ahhhh!!!!!!" Swengallop shouted and twitched as he was being electrocuted. He twitched and shouted until.
*Splash*
He fell face down in the water dead. He didn't know but the light switches power line was broken, and, in the water, he was walking in. A mare named Bright Glow knows how this would kill him.
"With a power line broken and in the water that is going to charge the water with about 440 volts. That is enough to kill a full grow pony. When he turned on the switch the electricity traveled through his hooves into his heart killing him. Many may think it's quick and painless. It's not. Getting shocked may take some time for you to die from it and it's painful."
Swengallop wanted to be rich once again and decided to steal from a church.
Faust from above said. "Your bad deed will not go unpunished."
His punishment...was Death.
Way To Die #137: Water Shock
Author's Note
The pun is playing off What a Shock.
Date: March 4, 2019
A simple trip to the bank should be easy. Sometimes it's frustrating. Wiz Kid is about to make a widthdraw. He made sure the scarf around his neck was placed just right so it wouldn't fall and walked into the bank. There was a line but he waited taking deep breaths. He seemed to be on edge. Something was wrong with him. He was last in line and once everyone was done it was his turn.
The women behind the counter realized he didn't look like any ordinary customer but she smiled a spewed out what she said to every customer. "Hi there sir how can I help you?"
Wiz Kid finally took off his scarf and showed a collar he had on. "I have a problem. This collar around my neck a thief put on me and he has a remote. It's a bomb and if I don't fill this bag with money and give it to him he said he'll blow my head off."
"Okay. Okay just give me a sec." The women was shocked but began filling his bag with cash.
You think that this robbery is strange. It's not really that uncommon. The chief of police Shining Armor has herd many stories.
"Most bank robberies today are done by demand. The written note is very popular, because surveillance has become better. The people use this strategy remain unnoticed. Another way is the hostage way which is forcing someone to do the dirty work for you so if they get into trouble they can get away and the hostage pays for the crime."
After the woman filled the bag with money. Wiz Kid saw that it was a small amount.
"This isn't enough. If they see this they're going to kill me. Go to the back vault and get more."
Wiz Kid was worried but an interesting fact is. Wiz kid was working alone and was not a hostage. With his expertise he made a bomb that was around his neck and came up with this crazy plan. No one would get in his way and if they thought he was a hostage he would get off scott free. He put a block of c4 on his neck and was ready to do whatever necessary to get the cash.
All of sudden Wiz kid heard police sirens. Someone had called the cops. They cops entered with guns drawn and the women ran off.
"Sir put your hands up!!" One police shouted.
"Look I have a bomb around my neck!! I'm being held hostage please!!" Wiz Kid shouted trying to still act as a hostage.
"Just stay calm." Another police said trying to calm the situation.
The freaked out women was finally outside. She popped the lock of her car with her keys and then...
*Kaboom!!!!*
Wiz Kid's head popped of his shoulders. How did the bomb activate. The women didn't know but her keyless entry system was on the same frequency as the ignition on Wiz Kid's homemade bomb. It sent an electrical signal to the blasting cap, and Wiz Kid was a goner. The bomb exploded taking Wiz Kid's head with it.
"Cancel the bomb squad send in the meat wagon."
Roger that cop.
Way To Die #138: Mind Blown
Date: June 5, 2022
Airline travel is simple. You get on a plane and you go where you want to go. Most of the time at least. This flight was in the air and everything going smoothly.
"I want another pillow!!!"
Well it was until this bitch decided to throw a tantrum. Say hello to Principal- actually it's just Abacus Cinch now. She lost her job and is going to another country to start a new life. She should have changed her attitude first.
"Mam I'll get you one just give me a moment." One of the flight attendants said.
"Hurry the fuck up!!!" Cinch shouted.
Angry passengers aren't anything new. In fact we have a flight attendant named Gentle Flight that knows all about it.
"Many passengers get rude because of many problems during flying. They complain about the time, baby's crying, not getting served quickly enough, and sometimes they just act that way because that's how they are. Only thing we can do is deescalate the situation and keep smiling. If it gets to serious then we have to call the police."
Abacus was making this flight a living hell. She complained about the food she got, "It's to cold. Last time it was to hot!"
The time. "Can this plane go any slower!
The passenger next to her snoring. "Hey sleeping beauty your snoring so loud!
One attendant had enough and when Abacus asked for something else. She decided to fight back. "Those lips are flapping, and I'm not listening, thank you so much."
"Oh burned!" One of the passengers shouted.
Abacus wasn't going to take that before everyone knew it there was a fight between the attendant and Abacus and fist were flying. Many passenger tried to get away from the commotion other people were trying to get near it..
Then the intercom came on "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking: We're gonna have a slight drop, just a little Turbulence. Please, fasten your seatbelts."
Even though the passengers were enjoying the fight they heard the warning. In the end the attendant lost and went back to the seat she had and fastened her seat belt.
"Ha! You see nothing can stop me! I'm at the top! I am the best!" Abacus gloated.
*Creek*
"Anyone else got a problem with that!"
Abacus had the passengers ready to blow their tops, and then...
*Pow!!!*
The plane’s roof beat them to it.
"Ahhh!!!!" Every passenger shouted.
What happened to the plane. Well Cherry Berry who has flown a lot of plane knows. " What would cause the roof to crack in this particular case was the bonding that was used in between the skins of the roof. Overtime, the bonding process didn't stick, and moister got in, moister created corrosion, the corrosion created cracks. Because of pressurization, it just ripped the roof open. Anyone who isn't seated with a seatbelt, you're going to be sucked, literally, right out of the airplane."
When Abacus was sucked outside the plane, she was hit by a lethal triple whammy of 500 miles per hour of skin-shredding winds, a body freezing temperature of minus 67 degrees, and less oxygen than the top of Mount Everest. She was dead before she hit the water.
Luckily the plane landed and all the other passengers were safe.
Abacus hated everyone. She wanted to get to her new life faster. Well the closest exit was... Right above her head.
Way To Die #139: Dust In The Wind
Author's Note
Where have I been. Life. My life is going good, but I haven't had time to write. Now I'm back.
Mr. Waddle
Date: May 16, 2019
“You and I our one. Oh, Yes I must have been a fish in a past life.”
The man flapping his arms like a fish is Mr. Waddle with a serious fetish for fish. He longed to be as close to fish as possible. To swim like them, and of course swim with them. To fulfill his dream this amateur went so far is to create his own fish suit. He took an old waterbed, cut it up, and glued it.
"Perfect. This is the best suit ever."
This was a stupid idea. Mr. Waddle couldn't wait to take it on its maiden voyage. At a nearby lake, he climbed into his fish suit, and headed down to the water. But it was slow going and he quickly started to overheat. The weather today was extremely hot. It was the afternoon and the highest today was 101 degrees. Sci-Twi what is the issue Mr. Waddle is going to have
"We produce heat eternally. And we dissipate that heat to the environment. All cells are metabolically active and as energy is produced, heat is dissipated. The human body possesses millions of sweat glands, located just beneath the skin. Since he was wearing waterbed material those water molecules could not penetrate. He put a microclimate next to his skin. He had a double whammy, and he basically couldn't lose heat by sweating and he couldn't lose heat by radiation. If the temperature outside was cool that could have saved him. Sadly that wasn't the case."
Mr. Waddle had began feeling the first symptom of hyperthermia. He started to heat cramps. Then heat prostration kicked in and he feel. He began to roll to the water. He became delirious. Then heatstroke began to settle in.
Mr. Waddle was trying to get to the lake and was just a few inches away from the water. It would take three hours to die from heatstroke. However, with the suit Mr. Waddle was wearing he died in a matter in minutes. With the lake so close he finally got his wish. He knew he it felt to be a fish...out of water.
Way To Die #140: Wet Dream
Date: May 15, 2022
Welcome to the Dragon Lands and say hello to Sludge. A dragon who was a liar and had a dream to be stronger than any other dragon and have the body that many female dragons would fight over. He was strong but he loved to eat, and he was overweight.
The easiest way to lose a couple of pounds and change fat to muscle was to workout, eat healthy, go outside, and in time you will get the results you want. Too bad for Sludge, he was lazy and always wanted to cut corners. Instead of working out one short cut he heard of was liposuction.
He couldn’t afford a regular liposuction surgeon. He would do it himself instead, but he needed help. He would have asked Spike, but he was too young and probably a bit peeved about that lie he told him saying that he was his father. Fume another purple dragon with blond hair would do it.
Fume was a do anything you and follow kind of dragon. Fume, however, had no idea how to do liposuction. He was a bit worried.
“Relax it’s just a couple incisions here and here.” Sludge said while pointing at parts of his gut.
Fume was reluctant but Sludge talked him into it. “I’ll do it.” Fume said.
With less than half a brain between them they came up with a half assed plan. For anesthesia Sludge used freeze spray and a whole lot of painkillers. “Won’t feel a thing.” He said.
For the sucking power they had garage vacuum they bought from a pony.
Once they got everything ready Sludge was lying on his back and Fume had a knife.
“You sure you want me to do this? There is no turning back.” Fume said.
“Do it!!” Sludge shouted.
*Shlick*
Doctor Fume made a crude incision and
*Shlop*
Stuck a crude tube in it. Then he hit the switch.
*Vroom!!*
and the vacuum did its work. Sucking all the fat and blood from Sludge.
“It’s working!!” Fume shouted.
The vacuum they were using could suck 210 cubic feet of air per minute. A normal liposuction has a cubic foot of only 3.
“Dude I’m not sure about this! It doesn’t seem right!” Fume shouted.
“Make sure it’s even!” Sludge shouted back.
It seems like their stupid plan was working.
*Flwomp!*
“What was that!?” Fume shouted.
Suddenly Fume realized that noise was a part of Sludge’s small intestine coming out. Then he began sucking the life out of Sludge.
“Oh dude!! Oh no!!” Fume shouted.
“Fume you idiot!!!!” Sludge shouted.
Many dragons heard the chaos coming from the cave but decided to ignore it. Before Fume could turn off the switch. He had changed this fatty into a fatality. Hey, Snow Heart, you’ve done some liposuctions tell us how this death happened.
“A cannula is a hallow tube instrument designed to go right underneath the skin to suction out the fat cells. These two using a full-strength industrial vacuum pierced the skin, the fat cells, the muscle layer, and through the abdominal cavity causing the intestines to get sucked up into the cannula. This caused blood loss, shock, and death.”
To all of you out there. You’re perfect as you are. Sludge didn’t have the brains…but he sure had the guts.
Way To Die #141: Fat-Ality
Author's Note
Sorry this one took long to post. I got Covid and was quarantined. My wife wouldn’t let me out of our room. Now I am healthy and better.
Hoops
Date: September 20, 2022
Meet these three dimwits that were getting ready to pull a huge prank all over Ponyville. Hoop, Dumbbell, and Score were three idiots that lived in Cloudsdale and were ready to start a huge prank. Their idea was to have Ponyville fear them by shooting everpony with paintball guns. They thought if this prank became huge, they would be famous to all the pranksters all over Equestria.
Hoop was the pegusas that got a deal on the paintball guns. The three of them loaded up and flew down to Ponyville to start their prank. They shot at anything and anypony that moved.
"Hey, loser heads up!" Dumbbell shouted firing at a pony.
*Bang! Bang!*
"Ow! That hurt!!"
What these losers didn't know is that shooting ponies with a paintball gun is just as illegal as shooting them with a real gun. We have a paintball store owner known as Splatter that knows all about it.
"In some places paintball guns are legal to own and some aren't. Shooting at somepony or any other creature is different. If the other party hasn't agreed to have a paintball fight that is considered illegal and the one that is shooting can be sent to prison and even get fined up to 2,000 to 3,000 bits that not even considering the medical bills that the one that got shot can sue them for. Paintballs can cause bruises and even welts."
These three pegusas didn't care and kept firing. Once they shot a pony, they would keep firing at them even if they were lying on the ground begging for them to stop. They began firing at property and staining it with paint. The CMC's clubhouse was now a mess.
"Hey, that’s not funny!!!" The CMC's shouted as the three of them flew off laughing.
The three of them knew they would get caught soon and knew they had one pony one their list they had to get before they left.
"Rainbow Dash." The three said.
It took them awhile but after flying for a while they found Rainbow Dash having her midday nap.
"Target sighted." Score whispered.
The three hid in a cloud and got closer to their target.
Hoops take aim and try to fire.
*Click. Click. Click.*
He was trying to, but nothing came out of the paintball gun.
"Hey, nothing is coming out guys." Hoops he whispered. "Stupid thing is probably out of ammo."
"It can't be I already reloaded it when I was done shooting." Score whispered.
Hoops took the gun from Hoops. " The gun isn’t working eh. I knew I shouldn't have bought a cheap paintball gun.” Hoops hit the paintball gun and then
*Clank*
It made it funny sound.
"I think I fixed it." Hoops whispered.
Move over I want to shot her. "Dumbbell whispered.
"No, I want to do it.” Hoops whispered back.
"Hey, I think I should." Score whispered as well.
Before they knew it, they began to fight. The whispers became shouting. Then Dumbbell got the gun and fired.
*Bam!!! Crack!!!*
There was a loud noise, but it wasn’t the gun going off it was the CO2 tank of the gun blasting off and hitting Hoops who was behind Dumbbell. The CO2 tank blew off hitting Hoops neck. Cracking it.
“Hoops! I’m sorry!” Dumbbell shouted.
“Hoops wake up!” Score shouted.
“Who’s in that cloud!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Shit he’s dead!! Get Help!!” Dumbbell shouted.
“What dude you two do!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
Splatter explained what happened here.
“There is about 1,200 to 1,500 pounds per square inch inside of those CO2 tanks. Each tank has a thread right on top that actually screws into the gun. The problem is not many ponies or other creatures don’t check the threads on the tank and it gets all rounded. When that idiots hit the paintball gun to fix it the thread was now one click away from snapping and when it did it hit that pony’s neck. It crushed his larynx going about 200 miles per hour. Breaking it.”
Dumbbell and Score were arrested for the prank and Dumbbell got even more jail time for involuntary man slaughter. Hey, you three stop it with that paintball prank it’s…A pain in the neck.
Way To Die #143: Pained Gun
Date: August 1, 2022
“In just one month this could be you!” Did you get a good shot of that!” Fleetfoot shouted.
“Actually, I think I forgot to press play.” Soarin said holding a camera.
“Are you serious!” Fleetfoot shouted.
Welcome to the Wonderblot’s Locker Room. Today these three were trying to film a video, Fleetfoot was making an ad to be a personal trainer for ponies. Only thing is Fleetfoot was cheap and didn’t want to hire a real film crew she asked Soarin and Rainbow Dash to help him with this ad.
“Are we almost done? You’re lucky I owe you something and I’m doing this.” Rainbow dash said holding the boom mic.
“No, we’re not! Not until we get this right! Let’s do this from the top!” Fleefoot shouted.
Both Soarin and Rainbow Dash sighed. They knew this ad wouldn’t work. In fact, Fleetfoot was so cheap her workout equipment was completely made out of bamboo. Soarin began to record. Fleetfoot layed on the bench and began to lift a barbell made of bamboo.
*Snap!*
The barbell snapped in half and fell on the floor.
“That’s what happens when you make your equipment out of bamboo.” Soarin said while Rainbow tried to hold in her laughter.
“I’m taking a break!” Fleetfoot stormed off.
“Why is she even doing this? What’s the point that she wants to become a personal trainer?” Rainbow Dash asked putting down the boom mic.
“Don’t you get it. She's just doing this to pick up stallions. Every stallion likes to hang out with mares who are Wonderbolts. I mean haven’t you noticed every stallion wants to hang out with you. In fact, every mare I meet wants to hang out with me. I could do better with this camera. If she was paying us. I mean really, she’s so cheap she uses bamboo to make her equipment.” Soarin said putting down the camera.
“I know. I mean even Spitfire knows this is a waste of time. That’s why she can’t use the equipment we have in the weight room to use for this ad she’s making.” Rainbow Dash said.
While Rainbow Dash and Soarin waited for Fleetfoot to cool off they saw a workout machine made of bamboo and Soarin got on it and decided to have some fun.
“Hey Rainbow Dash guess who I am. Gahh! I am Fleetfoot! Look at me go!” Soarin shouted pulling the strings made of bamboo down. Pretending to do reps.
Rainbow Dash began to laugh and roll on the floor.
“Oh! So, you find me funny do you!” Fleetfoot shouted, surprising both of them. “You think this funny imitating me Soarin. I’m going to kick your…
*Snap! Shlick!*
What was that noise? Well, that was the noise of the workout machine strings Soarin was pulling made of bamboo and one breaking and stabbing itself into Fleetfoot’s ear.
“Ohh! Fleetfoot!” Rainbow dash shouted.
Fleetfoot fell to the ground with blood squirting out of her ear.
Nurse Redheart why don’t you tell us what happened to poor Fleetfoot.
“The bamboo spike severed the blood vessels at the base of the brain. The brain is in the skull, which is like a closed box, and when all the extra blood starts to collect the pressure goes way up and the brain dies. When her brain died, she died.”
Fleetfoot wanted to meet more stallions and made an ad to become their personal trainer. It failed. On the bright side many stallions did come to see her to pay their respect…At her funeral.
Way to Die #144: Bam-Boo-Boo
Date: March 12, 2019
Come on come all to Laugh Out Loud Barn. Here there are rodeo clowns that will make you laugh and entertain you. Unless your Silly Shoes. He was a desperate clown that tried to get a crowd to come and see him. Sadly, most of his performances have fallen flat. Thanks to Trouble Shoes now getting all the glory because of how klutzy he is. Silly Shoes needed an idea for the crowd to watch him. He got an idea one day and came to the barn one night to do one dangerous stunt.
"Mare and Gentlecots! Come one come all I have a performance that is mighty dangerous! I am going to swallow some swords!" Silly Shoes shouted.
When the crowd heard that they all came to see how this would go. Silly Shoes had finally got their attention.
"Watch and learn ladies and gentlecolts." Silly Shoes licked the sword with his tongue and down the hatch it went.
"Agh! Ack! Agh!" He gagged but by some miracle the sword went down his throat.
Silly Shoes took the sword out and the crowd cheered. Still though the crowd wanted more. How should a performance work? Do you know The Great and Powerful Trixie?
"The key to pulling off a successful performance is getting the audience emotionally invested. If the audience doesn't like you and they're not emotionally invested in you. Then there going to be watching you doing this trick to see and hoping to see you get hurt. That's not really a good position to be in. Now if you mastered the trick and done it many times practicing it then it should be fine. If you haven't and you’re rushing it and going to perform it you are asking for something to go completely wrong."
Silly shoes rushed this trick and didn't really practice much but he didn't care. He would do anything to stay at the top.
"Now I'm going to swallow two swords. This is extremely dangerous folks because at any time the swords could scissor causing internal bleeding." Down the hatch the two swords went. "Agh! Ack! Agh!" Faust above must have been on his side tonight because he succeeded with two swords and took them both out with no problem. The crowd cheered.
Silly Shoes didn't seem to be in trouble tonight still he had one more thing to keep the crowd his and never let them go back to go see Trouble Shoes.
"If anypony has something for me to swallow I will take your challenge."
Everpony looked around to see if they had something. Then an old stallion came up and gave him a challenge.
"Hey, how about you try to swallow my umbrella."
Desperate times called for desperate measures. In a dramatic flourish Silly Shoes hoisted the umbrella over his head and proceeded to jam it down his throat. It was a frightening and disgusting display but the audience couldn’t turn away.
"Ack! Agh! Aguh!" He gagged once again but he finally fully swallowed it. Now all he needed to do was take it out and...
*Click*
What was that noise? Well, that was the noise of the umbrella release mechanism opening up. Closing down his windpipe and sealing the deal. We have a retired sword swallower here called Master Blade. Should Silly Shoes have swallowed the umbrella?
"No. That is about the stupidest thing to swallow. I never done it in the years I performed. Also, he should practice hours on swallowing swords. Swallowing an umbrella is like a death wish. It could open up. If that happens it is going to get lodged. You won't be able to get it out. While you’re trying to get it out you’re going to be ripping your esophagus. Your trachea is going to get blocked. Your windpipe as well. You want be able to breathe and you're screwed.
"Agh! Ahh! Agh! Ack!!" Silly Shoes tried to get the umbrella out his throat and pulled as hard as he could.
The crowd began to fear but they couldn't look away. Silly Shoes vision began to blur and before anypony knew it.
*Plop*
He fell on the ground...Dead.
"Somepony call an ambulance!!!" A mare shouted.
The old stallion that gave him his umbrella fled the scene.
Silly Shoes wanted to keep the audience on him. He was desperate and would do anything to keep their eyes on him. Well, he learned a lesson. When you perform you talk and show what you got. The audience should sit back, watch, and keep their mouth shut. Like Silly Shoes mouth is...Forever.
Way To Die #145: Dumbrella
Alizarin Bubblegum & Celery Stalk
Date: March 6, 2016
Here we are in the human world…
“Oh yes. Right there.”
Well, what have we got here? We have two high schoolers who can’t keep their hands to themselves. Meet Alizarin Bubblegum & Celery Stalk. Right now, Celery had his hand in Alizarin’s pants and under her white panties fingering her. They were behind a tree, and it looked like everything was perfectly fine.
“Hey, stop that right now!”
Alizarin and Celery turned around and saw Vice Principal Luna. She was not very happy what they were doing on school grounds. They both stopped and Luna walked off disgusted. Alizarin was wet and Celery was hard. They needed a place to get off. Then Alizarin saw something. She tugged on Celery’s shirt and pointed at a giant basketball balloon left behind from one of the school’s pep rallies.
They thought it was great place for a once in a lifetime quicky. Alizarin found the zipper and unzipped it quicker the Celery’s pants zipper. When she stuck her head inside there was a surprise.
“This is so…cool.” Alizarin’s voice sounded like Alvin the chipmunk.
Celery laughed and stuck his head in. “Wow…It’s full a helium.” Celery’s voice also sounded like one of the chipmunks.
They went inside zipped up the zipper and began making out with each other. Wrestling with their tongues for dominance. They were in their own laughing gas love chamber, and everything seem to be going fine. No one would disturb them here. Once they were about to take each other’s clothes off. They felt a bit lightheaded. These two should have hit the books a bit more. A helium filled place may be fun to play in. You just can’t live in it. Sci-Twi what is happening to them.
“The helium inside the basketball was making them go under anesthesia. They are slowly getting anesthetized shutting down brain functions. At the same time, they’re asphyxiating, and that is slowly going to produce a disorder of neurotransmissions in the brain. That is going to shut higher order centers in the brain, and lead to death.”
“Oh, I don’t feel so good.” Alizarin said.
“Yeah. Me too. Maybe we should. *cough* Get some air.” Celery said.
Their fun in this ball was not going the way they thought it would. They began to look for the zipper.
“Where *cough* is the zipper!” Celery shouted.
“I *cough* don’t know!” Alizarin shouted back.
These two spent their last moments disoriented, unable to find the zipper. They began coughing violently and unable to breathe.
*Plop*
Alizarin fell to the ground dead.
“Keep *cough* looking.” Celery said.
Celery was still looking for the zipper. Then after one more minute trying to find the zipper…
*Plop*
He fell to the ground dead next to Alizarin.
These two learned a valuable lesson today. Having fun in a giant basketball balloon is a bad idea. Celery wanted to score with Alizarin. He shoots but…He didn’t score.
Way To Die #146: Gasketball
Date: September 26, 2020
"Well, it's all yours. Enjoy it." A pony said signing the contract that Filthy Rich had.
Filthy Rich had bought a rotten falling apart storage unit place. He would fix it up and make it his own and began making more money. While he was thinking about the cash the owner Locker came along and was telling him information about the place.
“You got all that?” Locker asked.
“Yes. Of course.” Filthy Rich said not getting any of the information.
As the days went by everything seemed to be going smoothly. Filthy Rich was hiring ponies to fix up the place and make it into a perfect place where ponies would pay to put their stuff away. Everything seem to be going fine. Filthy Rich was checking every single thing until he saw one storage unit. It was an old one and it seemed like no pony fixed it up. It seemed like it wasn’t even touched. Filthy rich called one of the workers nearby.
“How come you haven’t fixed this storage locker!” He shouted.
“Well, some ponies have tried. From what I’ve heard the ponies that went in there ran off screaming. There seems to be a pest problem in there Mr. Rich.” The worker said scared because of Filthy Rich yelling at him.
Filthy Rich laughed and walked away. “I’ve dealt with many pest problems. I’ll just call pest control, and that problem will be fixed in no time. Then I can make a little fortune owing another place.”
The next day the one pest control pony came with a suit and other supplies needed to get rid of the problem. However, when he entered the storage unit. He ran off and told Filthy Rich he wasn’t going back in there. What was happening? Filthy Rich kept on calling more pest control ponies, but all of them did the same thing. He had enough and checked the storage until himself. He saw a hive. It was a strange hive. He laughed and decided if no pony would take care of that hive for him then he would do it himself. We have a pest control pony here that can tell us why this is a stupid idea.
“When you’re not a professional pest control pony you shouldn’t try to take care of a pest problem yourself. Many things can go wrong. You don’t know what you’re up against, the pest may have a defense mechanism that can be deadly, you may be using the wrong poison to kill them, and you may have the wrong suit to protect you.”
Filthy Rich bought a beekeeper suit, and some poison. He was ready to take care of this pest problem. He entered the storage unit and saw the hive. He got ready but before he could even start on the bugs came up to him and when it touched his suit it stung him.
"Ow! What the!"
The suit wasn't working. Filthy Rich swatted the bug and killed it. Once he got closer look at the bug, it wasn't a bee. It was something he had never seen before. Once that bug was dead it released a pheromone, and the rest of those bugs smelled it. They realized they had an enemy near their hive.
*BZZZZZ!!!!*
All the bugs came out and began to attack Filthy Rich. The suit wasn't working, and he was being stung everywhere. He sprayed the poison, but it didn't do any good. After just a minute of yelling and getting stung.
"Ah! Ow! Help!"
*Plop*
Filthy Rich fell to the ground dead. What kind of bugs were those? Let this pest pony tell you about murder hornets.
"Murder hornets come from the other side of the world. In 2020 if that year wasn't bad enough, they were spotted here. These hornets are extremely dangerous. To take care of one hive would require more than one pony. You also need a very specific suit that they cannot sting through. They must be vacuumed out to be exterminated in a precise way. One sting will put you in momentous amount of pain for about six hours. One sting isn't enough to kill you. The venom they release when they sting you will hurt badly. 30 to 40 stings, however, will kill a grown pony."
Filthy Rich got stung 1,567 times. According to reports. Hey, Filthy Rich, those weren't bees. It's okay I heard you also own a morgue company. I bet you'll get a great deal...For your own casket.
Way To Die #147: Bee-Hive Yourself
Date: May 5, 2015
"Ruff! Ruff!"
Who's that barking. That is a pony in the middle of the woods acting like a dog for some reason. This is Electric Sky. She was out of her mind right now. Hallucinating and had been running around the woods for about three hours now. She had a couple of mushrooms to eat and now she was wandering further and further into the woods. Electric Sky was higher than a kite, or pegasus. Nurse Red Heart. Tell us what drugs was doing to this pony.
"When this mare ate the mushrooms there was probably a compound called psilocybin present in them, and your body converts that to psilocin. This is actually what's responsible for the hallucinogenic effect. It resets the neurons of the brain. Your sense, taste, smell, and sight are completely out of whack. This can lead to serious issues. Serious Injuries can occur, or even death.
Electric Sky went to a bush and asked a question.
"What's wrong with me….Ha! Ha! Ha!" Oh, that's a funny joke bush.
To anypony not tripping out on mushrooms Electric Sky would appear to be completely insane. Celestia finally lowered the sun and Luna raised the moon. It was dark and Electric Sky was still high. She found her way to Winsome Falls, a beautiful place to see. However, Electric Sky saw and heard another beautiful sight.
"Yes! Yes! Harder!"
A group ponies dressed as humans near a campfire having an orgy. These ponies are part of a group called Human Believers. We have a pony part of the group called Lyra who could tell us more about it.
"Us Human Believers look for any type of evidence that humans exist. There is just too much evidence out there that you can't just turn your head and say they don't exist. Now another interesting thing about the group is we do have fantasies of getting down and dirty with a human. In fact, my marefriend and I have role played in suits to spice up our sex life. If a pony came out of nowhere and tried to join an orgy they would mostly not be allowed to join. Only known ponies of the group can join or guest that have a pass for one day can join."
To Electric Sky sex seemed like a good idea. She saw a brown-haired man with a blond woman and decided to get a piece. She began touching the brown-haired man, but blondie didn't like it.
"Hey, hands off my man!" she shouted as the brown-haired man rammed her from behind. Smacking her butt.
Electric Sky backed off. Then she saw two brown haired girls sharing a double dildo. She grabbed both off their butts.
"Beat it pony! Humans only!' One of the girls shouted.
It seemed like Electric Sky was not going to get lucky. Until she spotted him. A muscular sexy man looking right at her. In reality it was a black bear on two paws. The Human Believer group saw it and ran off. While Electric Sky went up to the bear and grabbed its penis. The bear didn't like that one bit. He liked his own kind, not ponies.
The Beat scratched Electric Sky with his paws and bit her side.
"Ahh!!! Oh Shit!!!"
The bear realized he may like this pony. The way her flesh tasted that is. The bear ate Electric Sky from the bottom to the top.
*Rwar!!!*
Letting out a loud noise of joy for this feast. To Electric Sky it was a living hell. The bear was eating her, and she was still alive. She felt every bite, scratch, and pain.
“Fuckin Help me!!!!”
In the end after the bears feast, she was nothing but a skeleton.
Let's recap. This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. This is your brain on drugs when you try to have sex with a bear...Any questions?
Way To Die #148: Em-Bear-Assed
Date: March 6, 2019
Ah the great outdoors. It's a nice day outside and everyone was at Saddle Lake. Today was very special though. Today there was a fishing competition going on and everyone was trying to catch a big fish. One girl called Velvet Sky had her eye on the prize. The prize was 20,000 dollars. She had a good rod and perfect bait. The only problem is she sucked at fishing. She couldn't even catch a cold. Every other person was catching fish after fish, weighing them and throwing the small ones back in the water. Velvet Sky was angered. She had been on this pier for hours and not even a nibble.
"Come on you damn fish!" She shouted.
Cast after cast the only thing that she reeled in one time was a girl's top.
"Hey, give that back!" Sunset shouted covering her breast while the boys whistled, and some got bloody noses.
She threw it back, and all she could reel in was frustration. Velvet Sky was about to give up until a hooded guy hiding his face saw her problem. Seeing she was having trouble he decided he could make a quick buck.
"Hey, you having trouble catching fish. I got something that might help you." The hooded guy said.
"What do you have that can help me?" Velvet asked.
The hooded man reached into his pocket and took out some weird looking types of rocks in a bottle. "This is some bait that fish will enjoy. Use this stuff and the competition that everyone is trying to win. You will blow them out of the water. It'll cost you though."
Velvet Sky was reluctant but decided to see how much cash she had. She searched her bag. She only had 30 dollars, but then she also saw something else she had. "I got an idea." She whispered to herself. She turned around back to the hooded man and had two things in her hands. "I have thirty dollars, but I also have my blue panties you can have I've worn them just today.
The hooded man smiled. "Thirty dollars and some panties will give you anything you need." He handed over her the bait and took off.
She looked at the weird bait the man gave her. She put it on her hook with a little bit of trouble. Finally, once it was on, she cast offed and waited. She thought she just got scammed until five seconds later.
*RRRRR!!*
Her fishing rod made a noise.
"I got a bite!" She shouted.
The fish she caught was small, but at least she was catching some. She threw it back in the water. If she wanted to win the competition, she needed something bigger. She put more bait in her hook. In a matter of seconds...
*RRRRR!!*
The fishing rod made its noise. Velvet reeled it in. When she looked at the fish, she realized something was strange. That was the same fish she threw back in the water. She threw it further away, but she saw it in the water. It kept coming back. She sighed, but then she saw a huge fish in the water next to her. She grabbed the small fish and decided to let it flop on the pier. She got her sweet bait and threw it near the big fish.
*RRRRRRR!!!!*
Her fishing rod made a big noise. This fish was a fighter. She fought against its force. She reeled it in with all her might. Finally, after minutes of fighting she gave one last terrific pull.
*Splash!*
The fish came out flying in the air. Then...
*Whack!!!*
"Agh! Ack! Ah!" Velvet began to choke as the fish landed right in her wide-open mouth.
The fish lodged itself in her throat. She tried to pull it out, but there was no such luck. We got a human named Line Sinker who could tell us why this fish wasn't able to come out.
"The outside of a fish is composed of thousands of scales. They are like individual plates. One the outside of the plates are bony spines. Those will dig into anything that grabs hold. Sadly, for this girl it was her windpipe. No matter how much she would pull that fish would not let go."
Finally, after a minute of struggling and pulling. "Ach! Ack!"
*Plop*
Velvet Sky fell to the ground. With a fish still moving in her mouth and the fish she threw on the pier went back in the water. The hooded man actually sold her not bait. He sold her crack. That's why the fish loved it. Velvet Sky finally learned something today. When a hooded man offers you some weird bait for thirty dollar and some panties you wore. Keep your mouth shut…Or a fish will do it for ya.
Way To Die #149: Fin-Ished
Author's Note
This death was recommended by
Varsity Trim
Date: September 20, 2021
Everyone, I'd like you to meet Varsity Trim. A pro chess player who can crush anyone she played. She was a smart student. Not the top, but still high on the list. She had one big problem though. Just watch her go grab a drink from the refrigerator and once she closed it. She grabbed a disinfectant wipe and cleaned the handle very thoroughly. The one problem Varsity had was she was a big germophobic. She hated germs. Sci-Twi tell us more about this psychological problem.
"Germaphobia is the fear of germs. Five million people all over the world have this psychological problem. They know what they are doing is irrational. However, if they stop doing what they feel that they need to do then their anxiety rises. If their anxiety rises then their condition gets worse, so to lessen their anxiety with this condition they have to clean. It's how they cope with their anxiety."
Varsity was a clean girl locked in a dirty world. She bought many cleaning products every single day. She had boyfriends in the past that didn't last long after she made sure they were clean by cleaning their hands every time she held hands with them. Some who tried to get lucky got turned off when she said one sentence.
"Do you know how much bacteria is spread during sex!"
She was alone in her own clean home. In the end that is how she liked it. After another day of cleaning, she finally sat down on her couch. Then when she looked up, she saw a cobweb on the roof.
"Ew! Gross!" she shouted and went to go get her vacuum, and a ladder.
She turned on the vacuum and got rid of the cobweb.
"Woah! Hey!" However, she lost her footing on the ladder and...
*Crash!*
Landed right on a glass table.
"Ow!" Miraculously, Varsity was fine. A bit hurt, but fine. "What a mess."
She cleaned the broken glass with a broom. took out her cleaning products to make sure she got every nook and cranny. After that was done she went to go throw away her trash. She put on some gloves and got ready. Then she realized she had a pain in her armpit. She made sure no one was looking and took off her shirt. She looked under her armpit and saw a piece of glass was lodged in her armpit.
"Ew!!! Get this out!!!" She pulled the glass out.
*Squirt!!!*
"Ah!!! Oww!!!"
What was that squirting noise? That was the noise of blood squirting out of Varsity’s armpit when she pulled out the glass lodged in it. She screamed in pain as she lost liters of blood. Finally, after a minute of panicking, and trying to stop the blood.
*Plop*
Varsity fell to the ground. Dead. Nurse Snow Heart tell us what Varsity did wrong.
"Whenever you have a piece of glass lodged in your body. DO! NOT! PULL! IT! OUT! When the piece of glass entered it punctured her auxiliary artery. However, this glass plunged the hole. When she pulled the piece of glass out, she unplugged the hole. Her blood started gushing out, and she ultimately died from lack of blood. When you have something lodged in your body. The best thing is to remain calm. Call the emergency number or head to a hospital right away so it can be removed without any problems."
Varsity was a girl who was against a war with germs. She was one casualty this war had. The girl that loved to wipe the world clean of dirt and germs wound up leaving...A really big mess.
Way To Die #150: Descent Of A Women
Date: June 14, 2020
Welcome to Shrimp Island. If you never heard of it, then consider yourself lucky. This island is not well known. Celestia herself does know about it but decides to keep it a secret. A tribe of ponies that have been cut off from the rest of Equestria live there. They also have their own native language. Celestia tried to make peace with them and show them the rest of Equestria. The only problem is that they were not used to the diseases that the rest of Equestria had developed immune to. When the tribe died after their first contact with foreigners, they considered any foreigner an enemy.
Right now, the tribe was going through troubled times. A typhoon hit their island, and they were short on supplies including food.
“Can we get any food! I’m sick of eating nothing but pineapple! I want meat!” The chief of the tribe shouted.
You heard that right. Meat. This tribe were omnivores. They were not herbivores like other ponies. Even though they could eat fruit they were getting tired of eating nothing but fruit for weeks.
Near the island a speedboat was passing by with two ponies. These two ponies were Jet Set and Upper Crust. These two ponies were rich and decided to hit the waters for a nice little vacation. The only problem was Jet Set sucked at reading a map. They had somepony that helped them drive the speed boat and help with directions. However, they fired him because even though they were rich. They didn’t like paying other ponies. They were jerks to everypony. Always thinking they were the top and everypony else was below them. They thought they were hot property and everypony adored them. Now they were alone.
“Do you have any idea where we are? In fact, I don’t even think this island is even mentioned on this map.” Upper Crust said.
“I’m trying all right. If this island isn’t mentioned, then it’s probably abandoned, and no one lives there. It’s probably inhabited by wild animals.”
Just when things turned from bad to worse. They were lost and their speedboat was having malfunctions. Reluctantly they decided to land on the island and used a radio they had to call for help. However, they had no such luck getting signal. Just before they began to panic a pony from the tribe saw them.
“Hello. Can you help us? We are stuck here. We didn’t even know this island was inhabited.” Upper Crust said to the pony from the tribe.
The pony looked at both of them not knowing what they were saying. He knew foreigners were enemies and must be killed. However, this pony had an idea and motioned them to follow him.
Jet Set and Upper Crust followed the pony. He led them to the chief who was angry about what he did. Then the pony whispered something into the chief’s ear and then he smiled. The chief shouted something in his foreign language, and before Jet Set and Upper Crust knew. They were knocked out from behind.
When they woke up their day turned from bad to worse. They woke up in a big caldron filled with hot water, carrots, and some celery. They were burning and realized they were in a cauldron of soup. The tribe danced around them. Jet Set and Upper Crust screamed.
“Ahhh!!! Let us out!!!” Jet Set screamed trying to get out of the caldron.
A tribe pony pushed him back in.
Upper Crust skin began to burn. “Ahh!!! You all are psychopaths!!!”
The tribe pony that found them had the idea that since the rest of the tribe wanted meat. These two would be on the menu.
After two hours of their skin began to blister. Another hour the tribe began to cut them open. What made it worse was they were still alive feeling all the pain. Then the last hour they finally scummed to the heat and cuts. Jet Set and Upper Crust died a slow and painful death.
The tribe had a great feast that night. They ate these two until nothing, but bone and their heads were left on the table. Their heads were the best part. The tribe ponies broke their skulls and ate the meat inside including their brains.
Jet Set and Upper Crust thought that everpony was below them. They were jerks. They thought they were hot property. They sure were. They were so hot…when they were being burned alive.
Way To Die #151: Brain Stew
Date: September 9, 2022
“Let’s go Wonderbolts!!”
You see that girl cheering. Her name was Golden Hazel. There was a football game tonight, and she loved rooting for her favorite team. Another thing she liked to do during football nights was drinking beer after beer. Many football fanatics have their own way of celebrating a game. Some however, take it too far. Pinkie Pie, who is a party planner and knows how to celebrate many things can tell us all about it.
“Football games are fun and a great place to cheer. There are two kinds of football fanatics out there. We have the classy, respectful, and joyful ones. Then we have the morons. These morons do cheer, but they go over the top. I have been close to becoming the moron. What makes the moron worse is when they are drunk. They can’t think straight, they start ruining the fun for other people, get into fights, and ruin your whole night.”
During the game Golden Hazel was ruining the fun for everyone. Being drunk she began hugging people she didn’t know. She even got touchy with some girls. Finally, security got word of it and kicked her out. Then she did the stupidest thing she could have done. Instead of calling for a ride she decided to drive herself home.
“Oh, a pretty red light!” She shouted while driving.
*Crash!!!*
Golden Hazel was hit while driving. When they got her out of her car, which was a complete wreck. She was officially pronounced dead. They checked her license and one person from the emergency car had something to say.
“We got an organ donor.” He said.
Golden Hazel was an organ donor. They put her in the ambulance and took her to Give a Life Hospital. This hospital was for organ donations.
Once they were at the hospital, they used a beating heart cadaver to keep her heart pumping to keep her organs healthy. This machine keeps the heart going even if the patient is brain dead. The transplant surgeons got to work cutting into Golden Hazel. Everything seemed to be going fine.
“Okay let’s get the kidneys.” A surgeon said while cutting.
Golden Hazel was still like a mannequin with her eyes open. If only she could have shouted and screamed for the surgeon to stop. You see there was one problem with what they were doing. Golden Hazel was still alive. She was one of the handful of accident victims per year who are mistakenly confirmed dead when they aren’t. We got the human nurse Tenderheart who is also a surgeon that does organ surgeries that knows some cases like this.
“When we find someone who’s an organ donor, we check their vital signs to see if we can officially pronounced, they are dead. If it is confirmed, we hurry to get the organs to a place to keep them healthy to give to another patient that needs it. However, there are some cases that are very rare when a patient could still be alive even when they are pronounced dead. This woman had minimal brain activity still in her. The only problem was the only activity she had was to feel and see. She couldn’t move, scream, or do anything to stop them. Since the brain activity was so minimal it probably wasn’t picked up.”
Golden Hazel was in a living hell. She was feeling every cut, slice, and pain. They were killing her slowly.
“Okay last but not least the heart.” One of the surgeons said.
Golden Hazel screamed internally. Felt the pain when they cut her arteries. The last thing she saw was the surgeon taking her heart out.
Golden Hazel was a moron who drank and drived. Like some ads say, choose your ride. The back of a taxi, or the back of a police truck. They should an ambulance to that ad. Golden Hazel loved football she watched it, breathed it, loved it, and it was in her heart…To bad they cut it out of her.
Way To Die #152: Drunk Die-er
Date: November 4, 2022
Blueberry Cake was a simple human finally glad that the calendar finally flipped to November. Right now, she was hanging as much lights and decorations as she could all over her house. She was already ready for the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe a bit early.
“It’s not even close to December Miss.” One person said passing by.
“Oh please. Where’s your holiday spirit?” Blueberry said back.
Blueberry was a Christmas fanatic, and many neighbors were starting to hate the lights she was putting up. There were so many that it was hard for her neighbors to sleep.
One neighbor decided to confront her. “Listen miss your lights are too bright! Me and my family can’t sleep!”
“It’s only half set up. I’m just spreading holiday cheer.” Blueberry said while throwing fake snow out of a sack she was holding.
She may have thought she was spreading holiday cheer. To her neighbors she was a complete nuisance. Complaints during Christmas isn’t anything new. We have the human chief of police Shining Armor here that has heard this problem many times before.
“We get many complaints with neighbors during the Christmas time that may go a bit overboard with their decorations. It could be too bright, loud, or even going on someone else’s property. One crazy complaint I saw was one person who hated Christmas and made this Nightmare before Christmas decoration. He had a headless Santa, dead angels, and even bright lights pointing it right at his neighbor’s windows. First, we give them a warning. If they don’t stop it becomes a fine.”
Blueberry didn’t care. The cops had been called and every fine she got she had paid off. Nothing would stop her this Christmas.
“Now just one more thing.” She said. She went to her garage grabbed a ladder, and a sound system. She was going to set up a sound system on her roof that would play Christmas music all day. Once she was on the roof, she plugged in the sound system to an extension cord, and it began to play.
“Deck the halls with boughs of holly!!!” The sound system played loudly.
Blueberry began to try to come down her roof to see her all her hard work. However, her left foot got stuck on another extension cord on her roof and wrapped around her left leg.
“Woah!”
*Bang*
“Ow!” Blueberry Cake was lucky. If it wasn’t for that extension cord wrapping around her leg, she would have fallen all the way down. Instead, she just banged her head on the side of her house. She tried to free herself but to no avail. She was upside down and she tried to free herself. After twenty minutes she began to panic.
“Help!” She shouted.
Sadly no one could hear her due to her sound system. She was becoming a Human Ornament.
Being upside down for a long period of time can lead to fatal consequences. Human Red Heart what could happen.
“When inverted, the lungs can become compressed by heavier organs, making it challenging to absorb sufficient oxygen, especially when the head is positioned directly beneath the feet. Prolonged inversion can result in blood pooling in the brain, potentially causing ruptured blood vessels and brain hemorrhages, and heart failure due to the heart's inability to manage the increased blood flow and maintain blood pressure. After about one hour you’re heading to the danger zone. In about two you would hopefully lose consciousness, so you don’t feel much pain. In about three you would feel extreme pain. In four hours, you would die.
After four hours trying to scream for help. Feeling excruciating pain, Blueberry Cake was hanging upside down lifeless at the side of her house. She became a human ornament.
Merry Christmas Blueberry Cake. Don’t worry, Christmas is only 51 days away. From now on your troubles will be out of sight…Forever.
Way To Die #153: Death The Halls
Date: April 14, 2022
Here in the Human World, there was a shop known as Gilda's Artillery. Owned of course by Gilda. She had customers here and there. However, she was going down a slump and she didn't have that many customers anymore. She knew about the problem she was in. Still she kept on working everyday. She polished the guns and made sure everything was clean to get ready for another day.
"Time to open up." She said, smiling.
Two people came in that day to buy some bullets. Everything seemed to be going fine. Outside the store another car pulled up. Meet Nolan North or as some business people call him. The devil. He was smiling because he was about to ruin another person’s business. He came in dressed nicely with his suitcase.
"Hello, sir, how can I help you?" Gilda asked.
"Well, I have a question. Are you familiar with the word foreclosure." He said opening his suitcase and showing her the paper she had to sign.
"What! Okay I may have hit a slump, but I have paid!!!" Gilda Shouted.
Gilda was in a big problem. Economic stress is normal. We have a human called Money Bags that knows all about it.
"I have money for days, but I sometimes do have problems with the economy. Economic stress is normal. It affects people the way any stress affects someone. If you’re foreclosed upon that can have physical consequences. Increase of heart rate, and illnesses. The people became a huge mess."
"Listen you sign the paper, and you leave!! Simple as that!!" Nolan North shouted.
Gilda took the pen from Nolan's hand and signed at the bottom of the paper. Being pissed off though instead of giving the pen back she broke into two and threw some ink at Nolan's shirt.
"How'd you like that Ass wipe!!!" She shouted.
Nolan was angry and decided to get back at her. "Since you destroyed my pen, and this place now belongs to the bank I think I'll need another pen. He spotted a pen in the glass desk. "That looks like a good pen give me that one." He said pointing at a strange looking blue pen."
"Oh no sir that's not really a good pe-"
"Give me my pen!!!" Nolan shouted cutting Gilda off.
Gilda wouldn't budge so Nolan climbed over the desk and grabbed it himself.
"Sir you don't know what you’re doing." Gilda said.
"This is a moment. I'm actually going to enjoy." Nolan said, smiling evilly while holding the pen.
"Believe me you will not like that pen." Gilda said, worriedly. "Try using it."
Nolan tried to use it on the paper Gilda signed, but no ink came out. He looked at the hole of the pen. Clicked it and...
*Bam!*
A bullet came out. Nolan now had a hole in his forehead.
*Plop*
He fell to the ground dead.
Nolan should have listened to Gilda. It was a pen gun. Quick Scope here knows about firearms. How does this thing work? Also, how did it kill poor Nolan?
"The pen gun has a .22 caliber in it. Very small. You don't have a long barrel, and any rifling in the barrel to gain speed on the projectile. You have to shoot it from a close range. Within two or three feet to kill you. This idiot was so close to it. The bullet entered his brain, and it was so small it didn't pass through. It ricocheted in his skull through his brain. It hit his brain stem that controls vital functions of the body such as breathing, and heart rate. He was dead."
"Tried to warn him." Gilda said looking at Nolan's lifeless body and ripping the paper she signed.
Nolan North was a devil to many businesses. He should have known one rule that many people follow. When you have to sign on the bottom line. Make sure it's with ink...Not Blood.
Way To Die #154: Written Offed
Date: February 7, 2012
Poor pony covered in bandages. You'd probably look at this pony and feel bad for him. Well get that out of your brain. This pony doesn't deserve any sympathy. He is, however, lucky to be alive. Say hello to Quick Bit. He was found with third degree burns over ninety percent of his body. The reason he was burnt was that he fucked with the wrong ponies. If you wind the clock back a couple months earlier, he looked completely normal.
*Months Earlier*
"I got anything you need as long as you got the bits for it." Quick Bit said to a pony that looked like he was out of his mind.
"Here now gimmie the stuff!!" The pony shouted, shoving a bag of bits in Quick Bits face.
Quick Bit gave him a bag full of cocaine and was ready to wait for the next customers. Life was good and today was going to get better. He was going to make a deal with a pony that was going to give him a whole lot of bits for a block of cocaine. Quick Bit went to the ponies house. As he enters, he made the deal with the pony. However, the pony told him to stay put.
"Wait on sec while I check something." The pony said. He inspected the block of cocaine. He cracked it a bit and saw that only one third was cocaine. While the rest was dry wall. "Fellas!! Take care of him!!" The pony shouted, leaving the house.
Quick Bit heard that and tried to leave. Too bad the two big ponies tied him up to a chair and took out some gasoline. They gagged him with tape. They covered him with gasoline, lit up a match, smiled at him, and then he was lit up. The ponies left them there for dead. After a couple of hours police came after a pony next door complained of the smell of smoke coming from the next house. They found Quick Bit alive. Completely burnt, but alive.
*Months Later*
Quick Bit was now covered in bandages and looked like a mummy. He made a deal with one of his friends who had him in a wheelchair taking him outside to the back of the hospital near a ramp. Once they were outside his friend began to take something out of his saddle bag
"You’re lucky we still got me as a friend. Oh, and I brought you what you wanted." His friend said taking out a cigarette and a lighter from his saddle bag. "We got five minutes then you got to go back inside."
Quick Bit was happy. His friend put the cigarette in his mouth. Yes, Quick Bit was a drug dealer, but he also loved drugs. Especially Nicotine. His friend lit the cigarette, and Quick Bit began smoking away. His friend went to go take a leak. He would be back. Quick Bit kept on smoking. His cigarette began to get smaller. Then suddenly the butt of the cigarette landed on the bandages wrapped all over him.
*Fwosh!!*
In a matter of seconds Quick Bit bandages that were soaked with a highly flammable ointment lit up. "AHHHHHH!!!! HELP!!!!" Quick Bit tried to shout for help. Sadly, nopony was at the back of the hospital. Helpless and nopony to help. Things got even worse. The wheelchair he was one shifted out of gear, and he went down. As soon as the wheelchair made it to the bottom. His oxygen tank on his wheelchair exploded.
*Boom!!!*
He's friend came back and saw Quick Bit's body still burning on the wheelchair. "Ahhh!! Fuck this I'm outta here!!" He said running off.
Hey, Snowheart, you found Quick Bit's body later. What happened to his poor body?
"This ponies body that had third degree burns turned into fourth degree burns. Fourth-degree burns destroy the skin and damage underlying tissues, muscles, tendons, and bones. He was being burnt pretty much down to the bone and is very painful. Teeth may be recognizable if lucky to identify a corpse. However, we already knew who this pony was so that didn't matter. Fourth-degree burns can cause permanent motor damage, disfigurement, disability, and just like this pony death."
Quick Bit was a pony that sold drugs and did anything for a quick bit. Sadly, his life went up in flames. Hey Quick Bit...Got a light.
Way To Die #155: Butt Fucked
Date: March 15, 2019
"Yeah, you like that babe." A stallion said.
*Whip*
"Ahhh yes! Whip me like the naughty mare! I am!" A mare shouted.
Meet Electric Sky and her special somepony, Hard Hat. Their relationship was simple. When it came to their sex life that was different. They have banged many times. However, Electric Sky was more into S&M. To put it bluntly. Sticks and stones may break her bones, but chains and whips gave her excitement. She loved the feeling of pain. Hard Hat knew her secret kinky side and was willing to give it to her anything she wanted.
There was one problem though. One night after whipping and being hoof cuffed to the bed. Electric Sky didn't feel much pleasure. Hard Hat worked up a sweat trying to get her off. He wanted that plot, but he only got it after she got off. We got a mare sex therapist called Sugar Lips that can tell us what their problem is.
"When a couple can no longer achieve orgasmic bliss. It may be for several things. It could be your body needs to recuperate from too much sex. This is known as Refactor Period. This is the time after an orgasm when a pony is not sexually responsive. It can last from a few minutes to more than a day. If you are a sexual addict, it can last several days. Your body gets tired and needs a break. Another thing is having sex to extreme. This couple was making sex so naughty. Ohh I'm getting wet just thinking about it! Erm. Sorry. When you become addicted to doing the same thing your brain is tired of it and wants something more extreme. The only problem is you can't find anything more extreme."
Electric Sky didn't want to take a break. She did, however, have an idea to take her sex to the next level. She worked at an electric shop and decided to bring some stuff home. She called up Hard Hat, and said she had something special for him. After a couple minutes Hard Hat was here with the whip and hoof cuffs.
"Put that away. I got something that will get me off and give you what you want. She said winking. She lifted her tail showing her pussy to Hard Hat.
They went to her room and showed Hard Hat two electrical objects. She had a taser and an electric stick welder. Electric wanted pain and she knew these things would give it to her.
"You sure about this Electric?" Hard Hat asked looking a bit nervous.
"You want me plot? Then punish me with these tools." Electric Sky said.
Hard Hat was reluctant, but with sex so close. How could he resist? He threw Electric on the bed and started with the taser. He tased her right on her chest.
*Bzzt!!!*
Sending 150 volts right into her. It was weak, but it was an old taser. Still, it felt good to Electric Sky.
"Ohh yeah!! That's good!! Give me another zap!!!!
*Bzzt!!!*
Hard Hat began tasing her in many parts of her body. Finally Electric Sky was wet again. Hard Hat loved the noises she made. She would scream for more and moan like a mare in heat.
"Still not enough!!! Use the stick welder!!!" Electric shouted.
Hard Hard grabbed the stick welder and pinched the clips on Electric's tits. He turned it on and the stick welder worked it's magic.
*Bzzt!!!*
Yes!!! I'm almost there!!!"
Electric sky was close to her orgasm. When something went wrong the stick welder that Electric took from her store she worked at.
"Ahhh!!!! Yes!!!!"
When Electric Sky Orgasmed. The stick welder malfunctioned and went all the way up to its highest power.
*Bzzt!!!!!!*
"Ahh!!!!" Electric Sky screamed in pain, and her body spasmed with the electricity going through here,
Hard Hat knew something was wrong and unplugged the stick welder.
*Plop*
Electric Sky hit the ground fired.
"Oh no. Electric! Speak to me! Shit!" Hard Hat said holding her lifeless body. If she wasn't to concentrated on sex at work, she would have realized the stick welder was in the defected electric parts of the store she worked at.
Nurse Red heart what happened to Electric Sky.
"Somepony putting themselves in harm’s way find it fun and are likely to repeat it. They think it won’t go so bad. Many patients end up the hospital because of that. They're addicted to the neurochemical their brain releases when they do that harm. This pony was shocking herself with so many volts which is dangerous. Anypony in their right minds would know that This can lead to arrhythmia. Her heartbeat would be beating very quickly and out of control. When the stick welder malfunctioned, it sent 12,000 volts into her body. While anything above 50 volts can be potentially harmful, shocks above 2,700 volts are often fatal, and those above 11,000 volts are definitely fatal. The brain, spinal cord, and heart all use electricity to function. Her heart stopped, her body stopped all the main functions to live, and she basically fried herself to death."
To everypony that knew Electric Sky. They thought she was like a simple mare. She didn't seem to have any kinky side. Her death and how she died was…A shock.
Way To Die #156: Wel-Dead
Date: October 5, 2019
A wedding is happening at Sweet Apple Acres. Big Mac and Sugar Belle have just tied to knot. Til death does them apart. Everypony is here to enjoy with these ponies in holy matrimony. Except for one pony. His name is Feather Bangs.
Feather Bangs loved Sugar Belle. He wanted to be with her and wanted to be the one to say I do. Now you probably think he is here for support. Yeah right. He was jealous and the reason he came was to get revenge on the mare who didn’t choose him.
Feather Bangs had come up with a pretty nasty payback scheme. Feather Bangs went up to one of the waiters working at this wedding and asked him for a favor.
“Hey buddy. Give you twenty bits to slip some of this laxative I got into the wife’s drink.” Feather Bangs said showing the waiter the bites and the laxative.
“What. No way.” The waiter said.
“Okay how about one hundred bits.” Feather Bangs showed him more bits.
“Deal.” The waiter said taking the bits and the laxative.
Twilight what does a laxative do to a pony’s body?
“Laxatives decrease the water within the bloodstream. Water goes from your blood to the colon instead. This causes a reaction in your body to release waste. The high concentration of laxative has pretty dramatic effect.”
The waitress went up to Feather Bangs and whispered in his ear. “Mission accomplished.”
The plan had worked. As Big Mac and Sugar Belle toasted and drank down their drinks. Feather Bangs drank his own drink as well.
“Ladies and Gentlemen! Can I have your attention!” Feather Bangs shouted. “I’d like to congratulate Big Mac and Sugar Belle for finding true love. I know you both will have a great future.” Feather Bangs kept on taking. Trying to stretch it out. “You’re a very lucky stallion Big Mac.” He couldn’t wait until. Sugar Belle’s gown would look like used toilet paper. “Another thing I’d like to say…
*Growl*
“Oh.” Feather Bangs said holding his stomach. He felt a pain in his stomach. Then he felt like nature was calling. “Oh! Oh man! I got to go!!” Feather Bangs shouted running out. Everpony was confused.
The waiter he talked to smiled as he ran off. The waiter had a perfect conscience. He didn’t want this pony to ruin this wedding and instead poured the laxative into Feather Bangs drink.
Feather Bangs made it to The Apple Family Barn and rushed to the bathroom. When he opened it, he saw Applejack was using it.
“Ahhh!! You pervert get out!!” She shouted and slammed the door.
“Oh, come on!!! I really need to g-
*Growl*
“Oh!!” Feather Bangs was in trouble. He couldn’t hold it in for much longer. Feather Bangs went outside the barn. He didn’t want to leave a mess outside. Then he saw a trash can. His saving grace. He took off the bin and unloaded in the metal can.
“Ohhhh. Yeah. Oh, that was close.” Once Feather Bangs finished. He tried to get out of the trash can. He tried and tried and realized his body was stuck in it. He swished it back and forth trying to get out. One more swish and then…
“Ahhh!!!” Feather Bangs shouted as the trash can fell over and went downhill with him still stuck.
*Crack!! Whack!! Bang!!*
Feather Bangs was going downhill in a trash can breaking his bones and bruising his body.
Nurse Redheart what would be happening to this jealous stallion?
“We have a stallion who is stuffed into a trash can and it’s not a natural position obviously, so as they’re rolling you are going to have probably spinal injuries. They are going to be hitting their head repeatedly. They are going to have a skull fracture. They also might have swelling and internal bleeding in their brain. They are basically rolling to their death."
“Ahhhh!!!!!” Feather Bangs shouted. Luckily his downhill jam came to an end.
*Bam!!!*
When his trash can hit a tree. Feather Bangs was still stuck in the trash can. Dead.
Feather Bangs plan of revenge backfired. He wanted to get revenge on the mare he wanted. Instead, he got disemboweled. He also went for a roll. Got covered in his own filth and died. That was one tasty drink wasn’t it Feather Bangs….Bottoms up loser.
Way To Die #157: S*!T Happens
Date: August 19, 2015
Look at this girl in her backyard gardening. Well, it looks like all she has is three patches of grass. Meet Crystal Lullaby. She was no gardener she was one of those misinformed health nuts. She was a fast runner, and the Equestrian Games were around the corner. The three patches of grass were a part of her new diet.
Pieces of grass, vitamins, and fresh veggies were put into her juicer. She would make herself a healthy smoothie. She wanted to maintain her speed and be as healthy as she could be for the Equestrian Games. Human Rainbow Dash know a lot about being fit. She can tell us all about it.
“Nutrition and exercise can help with strength and health in anybody. It can also in some cases make you live longer. Many athletes like me do have a protein drink we have to help us grow more muscles. You must be careful what you drink. You may be paying about maybe fifty dollars for it. In reality you get scammed. If you make your own that could be perfect with outstanding or disastrous results and lead to terrible health. However, this girl thought she could be faster then me. That's impossible."
Crystal Lullaby seemed to be in no trouble whatsoever. However, the drink really didn’t do anything positive or negative. Still, she was fast, and it seemed that nothing would take her down. Until one day she realized she had to head out of town for a while to go to a concert to a band she liked. Even though she hated anyone from Canterlot High she needed someone to keep her three patches of grass alive. She got a gardener known as Wallflower Blush from Canterlot High to keep her three patches of grass safe.
Wallflower came to the house and saw a problem with the grass. It seemed some rats came from her neighbor’s house and decided to make it their home. Wallflower had poison to kill the rats and not harm the grass. The label of that poison did say it didn’t affect plants. However, it did say it affects humans if ingested. Nurse Sweetheart what are the effects of this poison?
“Rat Posion can be actually used as a blood thinner which we sometimes use as a medication for people that have too many blood clots. If this isn’t used in a controlled state and just ingested by a person there could be huge health problems. If this poison is ingested day after day your blood will become very thin. You’ll have serious digestion problems and it’s not a fun time.”
When Crystal Lullaby came back, she went back to eating her homemade smooothie’s. Day after day she felt worse and worse. She never thought that the smoothies were the problem making her sicker, she kept on drinking them like shots. With the Equestrian games coming soon she felt worse than ever. She finally came to her senses and decided to stop drinking the smoothies she made. Too bad the damage was done. She decided to go to the hospital to see what was wrong. She called the hospital and was talking on the phone with the woman in the front office of the hospital to schedule an appointment today. Then suddenly all of the blood vessels in Crystal Lullaby’s head exploded.
*Plop*
She fell to the ground dead.
“Hello…Miss…Are you there?” The woman on the phone asked.
Nurse Sweetheart what happened inside Crystal Lullaby’s body. “If help is not received many days after ingesting rat poison in huge amounts your blood is so thin you won’t be able to make any blood clots that help you stay healthy. You will bleed profusely in your joint areas. Then finally all the blood vessels in your brain will explode and basically your brain becomes a bloody mess and you’re dead.”
Crystal Lullaby was a fast runner and wanted to get first place in the Equestrian games. Too bad she wasn’t alive when they started. She thought those smoothies she made would help her win. If anyone knew what she was doing…It would blow their mind.
Way To Die #159: Blend-Dead
Author's Note
These are just short story ideas made by me and other people. They're usually just silly dark comedy stories. Enjoy.
Vinyl Scratch
Date: May 24, 2014
Alright everypony, meet Vinyl Scratch a pony who could really bring that bass cannon. Every single night she could bring it. Also in the morning, she would listen to her music with her headphones. They were wireless so they needed to be charged. She sucked the juice out of them quickly because she always had the volume full blast. One day though Vinyl lost her charger for her headphones.
"Where is it!! I know I left it on this table!!" Vinyl shouted pointing at the table near the T.V. Then she stared at her roommate, Octavia.
"Vinyl I hid it somewhere you'll never find it. The doctor said you will lose your hearing if you listen to loud music every day. I'm doing you a favor. Another thing you can't go the DJ club tonight. You need to take a break for at least two weeks, and you can only listen to loud music for at least the maximum eight hours a day."
Vinyl didn't like that one bit. She didn't care what the doctor said or what her roommate said. She bought other headphones but they weren't loud enough for her deaf ears.
"PIECE OF SHIT!!" She shouted and broke the headphones she was using.
That night she snuck out to go to the DJ Club without Octavia knowing. The music was on full blast at the club, but Vinyl couldn't hear a bit of it. Her ears were completely deaf now. She went to where all the wires were and took out some scissors she took from the house. Snipped some here, and there. Now she made her own charger. She plugged in her headphones and waited for them to charge. However, the wire she was using was a bad one to cut.
*BOOM!!!*
No Vinyl didn't get electrocuted. You want to know that loud boom that Vinyl was too deaf to hear. Well, Vinyl messed up a wire of a light that Neon Lights said was a little fidgety and shouldn't be messed with. Now the light was on fire, and the fire began to spread. Everypony screamed and ran to the exit. Finally, Vinyl noticed the fire and tried to run to the exit. However, she got pushed to the floor, and everypony began to step on her. Crushing her ribs, making her spit blood, and finally making her...Dead.
Vinyl loved dubstep, but when the doctor and her roommate didn't let her hear it. She decided to take matters into her own hooves. Instead of hearing her dubstep, she got stepped on. She'll be hearing dubstep in the...Afterlife.
Way To Die #1: Stepped On The Beat.
Date: January 3, 2014
Twilight Sparkle "was" smart because she isn't around anymore. The reason why... Well Twilight was good at chess. Nopony could beat her. She wanted to beat everypony. Even herself, she made a robot and made sure it knew all her skills. She named it the Pinkie Chess Master 5000. Looked just like Pinkie Pie. Twilight the amazing chess master took it on. She took her and her robot to the Ponyville Statue Garden and set up the board.
"You start Pinkie." She said.
The Pinkie Chess Master 5000 was able to move its pieces on a powerful electrical charged board, so the robot didn't even need to lift a hoof the pieces just moved. Twilight started out good, but then she was in trouble. Whatever trick she did The Pinkie Chess Master 5000 would stop it. Twilight was moving the chess pieces with her magic. Twilight was sweating until she saw The Pinkie Chess Master 5000 mess up, and Twilight saw she can checkmate it. She got too cocky, and decided to use her hooves to move her piece, and take The Pinkie Chess Master 5000's piece.
"Check,"
*ZAP!!!*
"AHHHHH!!!!!!!" Twilight shouted in pain
The chess pieces were very electric. Twilight did not ground the board very well. When Twilight's sweaty hoove's made contact with The Chess Master 5000's chess piece. It was checkmate for Twilight. Twilight was shocked through her hooves up to her body killing her organs, and stopping her heart.
When it came to chess. Twilight always wanted to win, win, win. Too bad fate decided Twilight needed to lose this chess game one way or another. She should have used her magic to move the last chess piece. She got too cocky and...Died
"Are we still playing." The Pinkie Chess Master 5000 said.
Way to Die #2: Chess Pain
Author's Note
I'm taking ideas. If you have an idea make it, PM it to me, and I will post it here. I will also give the credit to you. Make sure to put the Date, and Location Of Death. No picture is necessary. Also make sure to put Way To Die. Now enjoy this death.
Stabber
Date: March 3, 2015
Rainbow Dash is an athletic Mare. She was fast and would never back down from a challenge. She was the only Pegasus that can pull off the Sonic Rainboom. One other thing every Stallion knew about her was. She was hot. However, every time a pony tried to hit on her she would kick their flank. One thing Rainbow was also good at was boxing. If you ever tried to hit on her you’d be in a world of pain. One thing you should watch out for was her killer right hook.
One night Rainbow Dash was practicing boxing with a punching bag. She was passing the time until eight o' clock. She and all her friend's were going to have a girl's night.When eight hit she flew down from her house and was ready for a fun night. However, a stallion named Stabber had been waiting for Rainbow Dash to come down so he can have some fun. He had a knife just in case Rainbow tried to fight back. When Rainbow was about to go see her friends Stabber grabbed her.
"Okay Rainbow you can make this hard or you can make it easy!!" Stabber shouted putting Rainbow in a choke hold. But he didn't have a good grip, and Rainbow broke free. She kicked the knife out of his hoof. Stabber was screwed.
"Your are messing with the wrong Mare!!!!" Rainbow shouted, and hit Stabber with a right hook making him fall to the ground.
Stabber got a Coup. An injury in his skull, and brain. Rainbow Dash hit him in the right mark making his veins in his brain burst and bleed making Stabber die before he hit the ground.
Stabber wanted to taste the Rainbow. Instead, he saw Rainbow's right hook. In fact, it was the last thing he saw. Nighty night...Idiot.
Way To Die #4: Suck Her Punched
Author's Note
NightFall A3AA created the picture I wrote down the death.
Sniper
Date: April 19, 2014
Sniper was a huge gamer. He loved one game that he played all the time, Colt Of Duty, he always played it online. His favorite weapon to use in the game was the sniper rifle. He wins on online games most of the time. If he lost he would usually rage quit.
"FUCK!!! DAMMIT!!! FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOM!!" Sniper shouted in the mic and smashed his Ponystation 4
Sniper finally had enough with games. He wanted to play in real life. He decided to buy a real sniper rifle. He should have remembered what most games say before you start playing. Caution: What happens in the game stays in the game.
"You got to be fuckin kidding me, you can't teach me!?!?" Sniper shouted.
"Sorry, you got to wait one month. We're completely booked" The stallion who was the owner of the shooting range said.
Sniper couldn't wait that long. He decided to wait until night, and use his Colt Of Duty suit to sneak in after hours. He picked the lock in the shooting range and decided to test out his sniper rifle. He held the sniper rifle terribly and aimed at a target.
*Boom!!*
He fired but hit a metal pole instead of hitting the target. The bullet ricochet off the metal pole. His bullet from his Sniper Rifle returned to sender. The bullet went out of the sniper 2,000 feet per second. After it ricochet off the pole, it still was traveling 1,300 feet per second. It struck Sniper right in his chest. Going through his heart, killing him instantly. The next morning, the owner of the shooting range saw Sniper dead on the ground.
"Oh my Celestia!! Sir!! Sir!!! Are you okay?!?!"
To all of you gamer's out there. Sniper gave you some advice. Keep your hooves on the right, and left trigger...Not a real trigger.
Way To Die #6: Rife-ill
Date: June 3, 2015
Well, this is interesting. Welcome to the human world. Meet this young teen here Micro Chip. You see he has a screwdriver, his laptop in his hand and a little camera he invented. Now, why would he need that? Well, Micro Chip was going to an apartment. On the first floor, there were three beautiful girls. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata. He went to the basement poked a hole under the three girls room put the tiny cameras in them and began stalking them. He started up his laptop. Oh, I see what this human is doing.
The first thing he did was stalk Adagio. He caught her while she was changing clothes. As she changed, Micro Chip loved how she tried her Bra's and Panties.
"Oh yeah, take off those clothes Adagio." Micro Chip said. He loved every second.
Next, he wold stalk Aria. She would dance with only her bras and panties. She would even do yoga. She would do the Uttanasana pose. Which is a stretch where she tried to touch her toes while keeping her knees straight. That left her ass for Micro Chip to adore. She would do many poses of yoga and how flexible she was filled Micro Chip with dirty thoughts of how it would be nice to get her in bed.
Next on his list for him to stalk would be Sonata. He got her at the right time. She was about to take a bath. Showing her beautiful body. Once she turned on the water she did something that made Micro Chip's nose bleed. She began to pleasure herself with a vibrator.
"Ohhh!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! I'm Cumming!!!" Sonata shouted in pure bliss.
"I think I'm about to cum too by just watching yo-"
*Crack!!! Crash!!!!*
All of sudden the bath tub fell on him, and Micro Chip was crushed to death.
"Ahhhh!!!!" Sonata shouted.
"Woah, what happened!!?" Adagio said.
"Isn't he that guy that always stalks us at school?" Aria said.
What happened. Well, the bathtub and ceiling collapsed because Micro Chip had been under this basement many times. He drilled so many holes that the ceiling became weaker. The water from the bathtub fell in the holes rotting the ceiling. Finally, it gave out. Micro Chip was right under it and was crushed.
Let's all sing a song. "Micro Chip was a creep, who liked to peep. He thought he was clever. Until his fat head was crushed and his brains went splatter and his lights went out...Forever."
Way To Die #13 Blood Bath & Beyond.
Date: June 15, 2015
It was a nice day in Ponyville and the track course was booming with many ponies working out. They were all unaware about the telescope watching them from a far. Meet Star Gazer, a pervert watching the mares working out. He was a Unicorn and loved watching the mares. He had tissues in case he needed them. He would wait for three o' clock for the main event. A Pegasus he loved to stock. Rainbow Dash.
"There you are, you sexy mare." Star Gazer said while grabbing a tissue.
Every time Rainbow Dash came, Star Gazer would admire her sexy flank and her figure. This stallion really needs a new hobby. However, one day he decided to get closer to the action. Star Gazer moves his telescope and gets closer to the track. Rainbow Dash was doing wing push ups and Star Gazer was enjoying the show. However, he got too close and Rainbow Dash spotted him.
"What in the name of Celestia are you doing!?!?!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Uhhh it's not what you think!!" Star Gazer said. He ran up the stands, but Rainbow went after him.
"So your're a stalker. You've been stalking me haven't you!?!?!" Rainbow Dash was about to beat the shit out of Star Gazer, but Star Gazer jumped over the railing and feel to the ground.
"Ahhh!!"
*Crack!!*
However, Star Gazer was okay until a sprinter was sprinting full blast and.
*Smack!! Crack!!*
They collided. The sprinter got up, but Star Gazer didn't. Star Gazer was okay when he fell to the ground. His neck was sensitive though after that fall. Once the long jumper hit him his neck cracked, and he never got up.
A word to all of you out there. Don't be a stalker. Get out and go play...Just don't stand in the first lane.
Way To Die #22: Somewhere Over The Railing
Author's Note
Sorry I haven't updated I've been very busy with school.
Coming up Tree Hugger tries to protect a tree, but fails. Then a prisoner tries to escape, but the plan doesn't go as planned.
Date: ???
"Hi, Pinkimena here. Did I ever tell you the story about that critic that almost gave Sugar Cube Corner a bad review. Emphasis on almost because he never had the chance to write it down. No. Well then do I have a story for you."
"Meet Tastebud a Pegasus critic. He went all over Equestria tasting sweets and giving reviews that everypony read. One day he came to Sugar Cube Corner. Now I tried to be nice."
*Flashback*
"Well the food is good but it lacks taste. I mean I need something that is different. All you have is knock out treats that you can buy anywhere else. I'm sorry but Sugar Cube Corner is going to get a bad review." Tastebud said.
"Wait! Wait! Just try one of my cupcakes and I bet you'll change your mind!" Pinkie shouted.
"No. I don't want any of your cupcakes. They look disgusting. Now leave me alone." He said pushing Pinkie out of the away and making her drop her cupcakes.
Now She didn't like that. Not...One...Bit. Pinkie smiled and her mane flattened and she decided to give him a shot with something that would make him feel sleepy."
She ran behind Tastebud and...
*Stab!!*
"Ow!!"
"Shhhh...Stay for awhile won't you." Pinkie said smiling.
*Plop*
An hour later consciousness began to seep back into Tastebud's mind. He thought he would wake up in his bed. Instead, all he saw was darkness. “Mmph… Ugh…” Tastebud tried to move but he couldn't. Then he felt a cut on both sides of his flank. "Ahhhh!!!!" His Cutie Mark which was food with a note near it was on the ground.
"Oh good. You're awake." Pinkie turned on the lights and was smiling and her mane was flattened.
Tastebud realized that he was strapped to a metal table. "Pinkie what is wrong with you!! Let me go!!! Yo-"
The words literally drowned in his throat as a wave of ice-cold water hit Tastebud square in the face. His eyes flew open as the cold shocked his system.
“Aw, don’t be such a party pooper, Tastebud! If I let you go then you'll write a bad review." Pinkie said.
"No, I won't!! I'll write a good review!!" Tastebud said smiling nervously
"Oh I wish I could believe that but you might reveal my secret of what I do to ponies that hate my cupcakes. Now all you can wish for is that this doesn't hurt so bad because I'm going to make sure you're alive when I'm killing you and you don't pass out until your completely dead."
"SOMEPONY HELP ME!!!!!"
Pinkie kicked the base of the table. “SHUT UP!!!!" In fact, let me help you." Pinkie said grabbing some tweezers on a small table full of torture device. "Open wide Tastebud you got a bad cavity." Pinkie got one of his tooth in the back and began pulling and pulling until.
*Yank!!*
"Oh, that was a very bad tooth you had." Pinkie said showing him the teeth he just pulled out.
"Pinkish whaish wrosh wihha yoaa" (Pinkie whats wrong with you.)
"Sorry didn't catch that Tastebud. To much blood in your mouth. Now let's see what else I got in store for you." Pinkie said looking at her torture devices on the small table. Pinkie grabbed a hammer. Finally, Tastebud was able to talk normally again.
“Pinkie, what are you-” Pinkie began waking towards the table, hammer gripped tightly in her mouth. “No; Pinkie- No don’t do… No please!”
She raised the hammer as she neared the table. “Pinkie, please! Stop!”
"Hope you know how to walk on two hoofs" Pinkie swung the hammer and broke two of Tastebud's hoof.
"AHHHHHH!!!!!"
She grabbed a knife and cut one of his ears off and a squirt of blood landed on Pinkie's face and she loved it.
"AHHHH CELESTIA HELP ME!!!"
"Hey, can you hear me hahaha haha..." Pinkie said holding the ear near her mouth talking into it.
Tastebud was about to lose conscious but Pinkie wouldn't let that happen. Pinkie stabs him a shot full of adrenaline.
"Rise and shine."
"OHHH CELESTIA!!!"
Pinkie grabbed an electric battery and charged it up. "Now hold still this is going to hurt a lot. Pinkie grabbed the pliers connected to the battery and shocked Tastebud with them.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Tastebud shouted.
Pinkie then grabbed a peeler.
Pinkie! Pinkie, no! Stop, stop, stop! For fuck’s sake, please don’t do this!”
Pinkie brought the edge of the peeler within inches of his stomach. She began to peel the skin off his stomach as she got showered by blood. Tastebud could no longer scream he was about to die. Then Pinkie grabbed the knife again and cut his wings off.
"Oh, Tastebud you made quite a mess. I'll never be able to use this table again it's covered in your blood. I won't be able to get the stains out."
Next was the main event she loved the most she unstrapped Tastebud from the table. Tastebud tried to get up so slowly. Pinkie laughed at his attempts to escape.
She grabbed him and throw him into an oven. She turned up the heat and heard him screamed his last screams of help as he burned to death.
"AHHHHH!!!! AH FUCK HELP!!! ANYPONY!!!! FUCKIN HELP ME!!!! I'M BEING BURNED ALIVE!!!"
Nopony heard him. Finally after fifteen minutes. Tastebud was cooked perfectly. Pinkie grabbed some kitchen tools and did what she did best. Make some cupcakes. She smiled as she did this. Oh, she wished Tastebud was still alive to feel the pain he was going through. Finally, she was done. Of course, Pinkie Pie doesn't usually make cupcakes like this. She has only done it about five times in her life. She did it to the other critics that gave Sugar Cube Corner a bad review.
Finally, after all, that Pinkie cleaned herself up. Where did she do this. I have no idea she won't tell us. Anyways she sold the cupcakes to a stallion. He said it was the best cupcakes he ever had.
*End Of Flashback*
"It was so much fun. Now I told you my secret and I'm going to let you live since you love my cupcakes.
*Mane poofs up*
"Are we done here."
"Uhh yeah, Pinkie we're done."
"Okie Dokie Lokie!!!"
Tastebud's cause of death. Do I even have to explain it. Bon appetit...Tastebud
Way To Die #40: Cupcakes!!!!
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Human Blue Blood (Created by Speedy Silverstreak)
Author's Note
FerroKiva made the picture and Speedy Silverstreak made the death. Sorry, it took so long but here you go. More deaths coming up.
Human Blue Blood (Created by Speedy Silverstreak)
Date: May 23, 2013
Oh, it's this jackass again. Well, meet Blueblood's human counterpart. Well, he died back in Equestria and now it's time for his death in the Human World. In this world, he ain't a prince he just knows Principal Celestia, Luna, President of the PTA, and much more high society people. Even outside of school he knew some people high up. He can pretty much do anything such as fail a test and still pass the class. He may not be a prince in this world but he acts like one. However, today he wanted to have some fun with one woman.
The women that he wanted was Passion a cop that was beautiful and was nice but if you broke the law the only passion you'll be receiving will be the passion of pain from her. Blue Blood wanted one thing her mouth around his cock. What Blueblood wants he always gets. However, even though he had Passion's number Passion always ignored him. He decided to find out where she lived. Then a woman was driving too slow getting him mad.
"Move it come on!!!"
While he was waiting he tried to call Passion again but.
Passion looked at her phone to see who was calling "Again really. Ignore."
Blue Blood was completely obsessed. What is up with this freak. He actually found out where she lived and decided to buy some binoculars. He decided to watch Passion from a far. Passion had a secret job. She wore different makeup to disguise herself. She would strip her clothes pleasure herself and post it online to make a lot of money. Blue Blood decided to enjoy the show. Now Blue Blood had a hobby find a great place to stalk Passion and watch her from afar.
"Oh yes, i'm fucking so wet right now!!!" Passion shouted pleasuring herself with a rubber dildo.
One day Blue Blood recorded her and went up to her one day. He knocked on her door and showed her the recording.
"Hey, Passion look what I got." Blue Blood said showing her what he recorded. "If you want this recording you're going to have to pleasure me now."
Instead, Passion began to fight Blue Blood. They fought, pushed, struggled, and ended up in her backyard. Passion threw Blue Blood into her hotub while he was holding the camera and it broke.
"Why you!!"
*Suck!!*
Ahhhhh!!!!!!"
All of sudden Blue Blood was getting a suck of his life but not on his dick. He sat on the hot tub waters intake that formed a perfect seal with his rectum. Blood began to fill the tub. Blue Blood tried to pull himself off but that just made it worse and
"Ahhhhh!!!!!!"
Blue Blood shouted in pain and spat blood from his mouth. Then he filled the whole hot tub full of blood. He was...Dead.
"Oh my god Blue Blood!!!" Passion shouted.
Hey, Red Heart tell us what happened.
"When the pool drainage sucked up his intestines it started ripping out organs which are attached to the intestines. It ripped out his large intestines, small intestines, liver, kidneys, spleen, and our patient bleed to death."
Poor Blue Blood...Kidding. Go suck yourself Blue Blood oh wait never mind...The hot tub did it for you.
Way To Die #44 Pucker Up Buttercup
Date: May 16, 2017
Well, here we are in the human world on a tennis court. The tennis court at Magic Park is great. You can play have fun and you can stare at girls wearing short shorts. One girl was coming to play and that was Tennis Match.
She was a great tennis player and she wanted to go pro. With her skills, she could do it. She already had many male fans on her side. Every time she came to the park some guys decided to go the park for a jog or any other workout. Tennis Match was facing many girls today and beating them all. Then one girl came to play. Make that a siren. Aria Blaze.
Being kicked out of school she used her body every night at a strip club to get her money. It paid well since every man wanted her. She was also very good at tennis. Tennis Match wanted to beat her so she challenged her and Aria accepted. Now many men were watching and the girls noticed. They just didn't care.
"Hey, one of you guys want to be the referee or what!! We need one!!" Tennis Match shouted to the guys watching.
"Pick me!! Me!!" All the guys shouted.
However, Tennis Match wanted someone that would pay attention to the game, not their bodies. Then she saw a girl running. "Hey Rainbow Dash!!"
Rainbow Dash heard her name and stopped running and saw Tennis Match. "Yeah!!"
"Can you be the referee for us!!?" Tennis Match asked.
Rainbow Dash was also good at tennis but Tennis Match and Aria were a big challenge and she usually won and lost some games with them. She accepted and sat on the chair between the nets and now it was in an all-out battle with these two. Rainbow Dash kept a close eye on both of them. Aria and Tennis Match both made points. Neither of them backed down. Many boys had there phones and cameras ready to record or take pictures to keep or sell these sexy pictures. Finally, after an intense battle, it was a tie game and Aria found her chance and hit the ball back. Tennis Match tried to stop it but it was too late. Then it was over.
"That's it! Aria wins!!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
Every boy cheered for her and started taking pictures as she posed and smiled for them. Tennis Match had another thing that many tennis professionals had. A fiery personality. She was completely angry. She was always like this when she lost. However, this time she was on fire and it was like someone was pouring gasoline on that fire.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT BALL WAS OUT. I KNOW IT YOU ASS!!!" She shouted at Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah right, you're the ass here you lost." Rainbow Dash said and laughed.
"OH REALLY IM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS NOW!!!" Tennis Match went after Rainbow Dash. She broke her tennis racket and now she had a sharp stick. She climbed the chair Rainbow Dash was on.
Rainbow Dash jumped off and then the chair fell and Tennis Match took a tumble. She would be fine right just a simple fall.
*CRACK!!!*
Did you hear that? Was that Tennis Match breaking her back? No that was the stick from her tennis racket going up her rectum and making her bleed out.
"Oh, my god call an ambulance!!!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
"Oh, shit!!!" A guy shouted and a crowd gathered around Tennis Match.
Nurse Redheart gives us a diagnosis.
"The rectum is the last fifteen to eighteen centimeters of the collagen. In this case when the stick of the tennis racket perforated this girls rectum. That causes massive bleeding as well as leakage of stool into the pelvis which made her die in a matter of seconds."
Tennis Match had a fiery personality and couldn't keep it under control. If Aria could have said something to Tennis she would have said.
"Shove this loss up your ass Tennis Match."
She did it...Literally.
Way To Die #63: Ten-Ass Anyone?
Author's Note
The picture may not show up and I'm working on that. Coming up this mare shoves her big plot in many stallions faces but her big plot will be her downfall. Then bringing things back from the dead. A scientist is taking things to far and pays for it.
Date: May 25, 2013
"You're not going out dressed like that!! You put something else on right now missy!!"
"Dad what's the point we're always naked anyways."
"Go Change!!!"
You hear that shouting. That's a father yelling at her daughter to change so she can go out with her very special somepony she just met a couple of days ago. Fury Hurricane was his name but most ponies called him Commander Hurricane. He used to be a Commander. He scared his wife away and now his daughter Megan Blast was stuck with him. He ruled her life like a dictator. After she changed she was able to go out.
"You still look like a tramp!! You also better be back by nine!!" Hurricane shouted as she walked to her special someponies place.
Lots of mares have gone through an overprotective father. Isn't that right Twilight.
"Almost all fathers are naturally a bit overprotective in a way. They may be that way because they've experienced it in there life at least once. Maybe when they started dating. They probably met an overprotective father and since they've gone through that experience adn saw the father doing that they think they should act the same way. It's psychological. My father is like that and my mother did tell me that her father was very overprotective. My father is very overprotective and usually only wants the best for me. Every time I stare at a stallion he tells me to look away. He really gets on my nerves sometimes."
It wasn't hard to see why Megan had a hard time keeping a special somepony when they came to see her father. She always told them maybe some other time. However, once that time came Hurricane would be polishing his weapons, or sharpening his favorite knife. He had a big weapon collection. He would always smile evilly at them and ask them many questions.
One day Megan came with a special somepony that Hurricane just couldn't scare off. He would always come to pick up Megan. Hurricane tried to scare him off. Her now special somepony was called Feather Bangs. Hurricane was sharpening his favorite knife one night he came to pick her up.
"I want her home by nine you got that!!"
"Of course sir and by the way cool knife." Feather Bangs said while taking Megan out one night.
Hurricane couldn't believe how he wasn't scared. He did everything he could but Feather Bangs never left her. He had enough and decided to come up with a plan that would scare him off for good. He told his daughter he would be going out tonight. Megan, of course, wanted to take things to the next level with Feather Bangs. She called him over and he was there as quick as he could be. They started getting intimate. Making out on Megan's bed. They started getting touchy.Feather Bangs started rubbing the side of Megan's Plot and then Megan was about to rub Feather Bang's Stallionhood. Then all of a sudden.
*Bang!!!!*
Hurricane bucked Megan's door open and had a pistol aiming at both of them.
"What are two doing huh?!!!!"
"Daddy please!!!!"
"Sir please don't shoot!!!!"
Hurricane was watching from afar wating for Feather Bangs. He aimed at Feather Bang and
*Pow!!!!*
He shot but nothing came out.
"What...Are you serious man!!!!" Feather Bangs was not happy now.
Hurricane was laughing.
"Dad!!!! That wasn't funny!!!!" Megan was in a rage.
"Relax you two it blanks. Look." Hurrican put the gun to his head to show them and
*Pow!!!!*
He fired but when he did he collopsed on Megan's bed and blood came out from where he shot himself.
"DADDY!!!!" Megan shouted when she saw blood coming out from her father's head.
"HURRICANE!!!!" Feather Bangs tried to help but Hurricane was already dead.
Quick Scope your good with weapons what happened.
"When a normal round is fired from a simple pistol the gunpowder sends a bullet from the chamber. Ponies think blanks don't do much and are safe to do anything with them. That is completely incorrect. A blank forces a column of air under very high pressure out the front of the barrel. Over fifty thousand PSI. It was enough pressure to crack his skull. He started to bleed out and he died. It was a one-shot kill.
If Megan wasn't already heading for a lifetime of therapy. Well, she is now.
Hurrican also learned something about cruel pranks. Sometimes...They blow up in your face.
Way To Die #79: Dead-Dy Dearest
Date: October 19, 2018
Look at this pony. He looks alright. He seems like a nice fellow. Well, he's not. Cherry Fizz seemed like a normal stallion, but he isn't. He is a cart thief. Stealing any cart, he can and selling them to the pony that pays the most for it. He was also a cart jacker and he would usually steal the carts from ponies with a mask on and while holding a knife to their necks. If anypony was in the passenger seat well hopefully they kept their mouth shut and just left the cart.
Cherry Fizz was a heartless bastard. A couple of days ago he stole a cart and hurt a poor filly that was in the passenger seat with her mother. Cherry Fizz didn't care. We got a pony named Night Fury that used to cart jack but has now changed his ways. he knows how to cart jacking works.
"Cart jacking is a crime of violence. There is always some sort of force involved. When there is somepony in the cart or somepony hauling it could usually lead to injury, kidnapping, and sometimes murder. In my time when I stole, I never murdered, and I usually never targeted a cart if there was a family in the cart. This stallion is sick targeting helpless families."
A pony that sold carts named Windows Tint came up with a new cart. It had windows that would automatically wind up when the pony entered the cart, or the cart began to be hauled. The windows were bulletproof and no thief could get through it. Cherry Fizz, however, wanted to get that cart. It cost a lot of bits. One day he saw a pony that had the cart and went to grab a quick bite. Cherry Fizz put his mask on and got to work. He knew the windows wouldn't break so he began to picklock the door. However, the door was hard to picklock. Then he realized something. The window was open.
"Silly me." He said.
The pony returned and Cherry Fizz hid. He took out his knife and was ready to strike. The pony got ready to haul the cart. Cherry Fizz decided to get inside the cart while the window was still open. He only got his head in before the windows went up and began to choke Cherry Fizz.
"Ack. Sto- Agck." Cherry Fizz was in serious trouble.
Even if he could shout in wouldn't have done any good. You see this pony has was trying to jack was deaf. The window began to crush Cherry Fizz's windpipe. Many ponies saw a pony being choked by the window but thought it was a scary Nightmare Night prop since that day was close. The pony got touched by somepony and it was Rarity who said she needed a lift. Of course, the pony didn't hear her.
He gave her a note pad. "Can you write down where you want to go I’m deaf."
Rarity wrote on the note pad and gave it back to him. To Sugar Cube Corner. By the way that is a very realistic Nightmare Night Prop.
"What Prop?" The pony asked.
Rarity turned his head around and the pony gasped and pressed a button to make the windows open. It didn't matter Cherry Fizz's brain was completely drained of blood. Nurse Snowheart explains to us what happened to him.
"The window was pinching the carotid artery. When this artery is pinched in some way this will stop the blood flow to the brain which would make a pony lose consciousnesses. This window was pinching this ponies carotid artery which made him lose consciousness within a matter of seconds and then in a few minutes this would lead to death."
Cherry Fizz was a cart jacker and stole from ponies. Finally, he got what he deserved. He's nothing but...Roadkill.
Way To Die #98: Deaf Jammed
Date: September 24, 2017
Welcome to Camp Everfree, the nicest camp to go to when you visit the Human World. It's a nice camp filled with activities for everyone. It's also surrounded by beautiful nature. However, nature also has predators of every size. Out for a hike near Camp Everfree you could see many creatures. One girl that's out for a hike didn't know that she looked like a walking T-bone slathered in butter. That's because the most notorious predator of them all was stalking her.
"Grrrrrr!!!!"
It wasn't a bear it was something else. The legend himself. Bigfoot.
"Rargh!!!!" Bigfoot jumps out from the bushes.
"Ahhhh!!!!" The girl runs away screaming.
We have a human known as Wild Catch who knows about hunting and Bigfoot. "Each year was have approximately two hundred to five hundred Bigfoot sightings that are reported throughout the world. Many believe that only twenty percent of these sightings are actual Bigfoot sightings. Some are possibly a bear on two feet. In reality if someone saw it. They're not going to mistake it for something else.
The girl went up to Timber Spruce. He usually kept everyone safe at Camp Everfree.
"Excuse me, something is out there moving in the woods. It's huge and I think it's hungry."
That's all Timber Spruce had to here. He grabbed his dart gun to put the animal to sleep. Another thing you have to know about Timber Spruce he was a BFB. Bigfoot Believer. If he can catch him, he would have all the evidence he would need. He went out and looked around to find his target.
"Grrrrr!!"
He heard growling and saw his target a few feet away. Bigfoot was big. He put in a big tranquillizer in his gun. He took aim and...
*Bang!!!!*
Fired. He hit his mark.
*Plop*
Bigfoot fell to the ground. Timber Spruce was happy. Until he saw a zipper on Bigfoot's back, he realized that this was a person. He took of the mask and saw it was person he knew.
"Filthy Rich!! Oh my god!!" Timber Spruce shouted.
Filthy Rich wanted Camp Everfree. However, he could never get it. He tried many ways to buy it and even Timber Spruce wouldn't take his offer. Filthy Rich decided if he couldn't get it with money, he would scare everyone away. It was a long shot. It was also stupid. He dressed as Bigfoot and began to scare everyone. Sadly, it didn't go as he planned.
The tranquillizer Timber Spruce shot Filthy Rich with was filled with Carfentanil. A powerful drug used for large animal like elephants. Enough to stun them. For a human it is highly toxic.
Sci-Twi tell us what happened to Filthy Rich.
"When the mass of amount of Carfentanil entered his body, complete humanistic collapse followed. His blood pressure went down dramatically. His urge to breathe shut down. He subsequently died because of complete breakdown of the bodies functions."
Bigfoot if your reading this. Sit back and relax. With idiots like Filthy Rich here...you got nothing to worry about.
Way To Die #111: Myth Busted
Date: August 22, 2018
Summer is coming to an end and for Violet Blur that meant breaking all the rules before she had to go back and hit the books. One rule she broke during the day was sneak into someone's backyard and take a dip in their pool. She jumped over a fence and found one
"It's time to party." She said she called one of her friends to have a good time with her. She called her good friend Pixel Pizzazz.
Once she came, she also brought some nice cold beer. However, when she came, she realized that the pool they snuck into was under construction. The homeowner was trying to build his fence even bigger. He had already had trouble with pool hoppers. He left the tools out and said to himself he would finish it tomorrow.
"I don't know about this pool Violet looks a bit dangerous to be in it. Pixel said.
"We're not going to get caught." Violet said taking a sip of beer
"That's not what I'm talking about." Pixel said.
Violet knew Pixel just needed a little bit of a push. "Listen Photo Finish our friend wants some bikini photos right."
"Yeah."
"We have fun take a few pictures and there is nothing to worry about we just don't go near the tools."
"Fine." Pixel said stripping her clothes and had under them a nice tight bikini.
Violet may have liked boys, but she also liked girls and looking a Pixel's ass with that tight bikini was turning her on. She stripped of her clothes and was also wearing a bikini and then they drank the beer. One at a time. Finally, after four beers Pixel and Violet couldn't think right. Safety was thrown out the window and they decided to have fun with the tools.
Violet grabbed the nail gun and shot it at the beer Pixel was holding. Making her beer spill. However, all Pixel did was laugh and drink from where the beer was spilling. They took a few bikini pictures then Violet got an idea. She told Pixel to get the camera ready.
She got a big sheet of plastic and used the hose to make it a big slip n' slide. "Take a picture when I'm sliding” Violet said.
Pixel was ready and so was Violet. She got on her stomach and slid and...
*Slit!!* *Flash!!*
Left a red line of blood on the slip n' slide she made.
Pixel took the picture. "AHHHHH!!!!" Then she realized she took a picture of Violet's death.
What just happened? Well, these two girls were too drunk to notice a nail sticking up on the slip n' slide Violet made. That one mistake led to her death. Human Snowheart how would this kill her?
"The nail would rip into her abdomen. This causes what we call an abdominal inverseration. The small intestines would be pulled out and the large intestines as well. This would also lead to massive loss of blood which would send her into hypovolemic shock and that resulted to her death."
As the sunsets on another unfortunate death. Let’s all give a nice goodbye to our new dumbass. Happy end trails...Violet.
Way To Die #127: Easy Slider
Date: June 12, 2019
Welcome to a barn underground. This barn is known as Bet Barn Fight. Now this place wasn't a place where humans fight. It was a Cock Fight place. Humans would place their bets and two cocks would face each other to a fight to the death. Whoever won got the money and people who bet on the winner would also get money. If you lost, you would lose your fighter and get nothing. This place was filled with brutality, cruelty, and violence. However, for the roosters it was normal. Fluttershy give us what was going on in the chicken’s mind.
"You would think a rooster would act normal to another rooster, but they don’t. They are purely territorial. The ones I care for I train to lower this fighting. If they are trained well and are allowed to maintain their social hierarchy this will help minimize territorial behavior. One's that are trained to fight become territorial and sadly that won't stop until the other falls and dies."
Ginger Owlseye was a star with her rooster. She has won many battles with her rooster she called The Wicked one.
“Keep on fighting and kill you hear me!” She shouted at her rooster in the cage.
Ginger would use different ways to train her rooster. If he won he wouldn't be fed much and not well cared for. She didn’t care how her Rooster was, all she cared about was winning. Even if he won Ginger still wouldn't take care of him much.
One night Ginger was on a role. Many people lost to her rooster and would leave empty handed with their own rooster dead. The fights tonight were going crazy. Ginger kept raising the stakes. More money was being put on the fights. Tonight, looked like Ginger didn’t have anything to worry about.
Then stepped in another known rooster that many people knew at this place. Known as Corazón. His owner was Big Mac. Big Mac did have money, but he wanted more on the side. He realized the stakes were up high tonight and if he won, he would be able to take his wife Sugar Belle to a lovely place for their wedding anniversary. If he took her there, he knew he would get some of her Sugar every night when they were there.
Ginger and Big Mac put their Rooster’s in the ring and the Cock fight began. Big Mac’s rooster seemed to have the upper hand. In fact, he trained his rooster well. He fed him a lot and and he was well cared. This cock fight was turning into a full-on brutal fight and each rooster was hungry for blood. The Wicked One finally got the upper hand and Corazón was in trouble. In the end in a blur of claws and feathers. The Wicked one killed Corazón. Big Mac was devastated while Ginger began to gloat.
“My rooster can’t be defeated!! It always wins!!”
Big Mac then saw something on Ginger’s rooster. He saw tiny razors hidden in the back of The Wicked One’s talons.
“Cheater!!” Big Mac shouted.
Everyone became silent then Big Mac pointed at what he saw. When many saw the razors. Ginger realized she was in trouble. If you were caught cheating at Bet Barn Fight you would have to pay double what you staked and if you didn’t you would have a full-on riot of people after you. Especially tonight since some people that lost their money when they bet on a rooster got killed by Ginger’s rooster.
Ginger grabbed her rooster and tried to run to the exit, but a guard stopped her.
“Pay up!!” He shouted.
The crowd began to surround her. Then she lost her footing, and she was on the ground. Just as the crowd was about to give her a beating and take her down.
*Slice*
“Ack!!! Agh!!! Gah!!”
The Wicked One beat them to it. He had enough of his master and how she treated him and cut Ginger on the side of her neck. Ginger bled profusely and before anyone knew it. She was dead. Human Nurse Red Heart how do this person die?
"When this person's rooster sliced the side of her neck with the razors it cut her jugular vein. This vein doesn't have any protection. It has no bones or thick tissue. It's pretty much out in the open. Once that vein is cut the bleeding is extremely rapid because that is the primary draining vein for the blood to the brain. You would die in a matter of seconds."
Some people treat their animals nicely and train them. Some abuse their animals, and it is terrible. Animal abuse has around for a long time. With Ginger out of the picture...Maybe it won't last much longer.
Way To Die #142: Cock-A-Doodle-Die
Date: April 13, 2019
In the Human World this is a Pastry Shop owned by Puffed Pastry. It was a simple shop that everyone knew. It opened at six in the morning and closed at six at night. After hours the Pastry Shop seemed like it was closed. However, every Saturday night something was different. Look at this guy heading to the back of the store and knocking on the back door.
"Who knocks at the gate." Puffed Pastry said behind the door.
"One who has had a bite of the mysterious cupcake." The guy said,
As soon as the guy said that Puffed Pastry opened the door. The guy took a seat with other people waiting for a nice meal. Puffed Pastry had a second job. Selling baked goods were fine but once Sugar Cube Corner got its worker Pinkie Pie competition was heating up. Puffed Pastry decided to have another delicious meal in her shop.
"Ladies and Gentlemen. I'd like to welcome you here tonight. Today’s meal is orangutan." Puffed Pastry said.
The people clapped and began to cheer. Puffed Pastry's second job was cooking endangered and illegal species smuggled in from around the world. Her twisted customers would pay big bucks to sink their teeth into anything teetering on the brink of extinction.
A couple was sat at a table.
"I think she's a bit wacky in the head." The girl said.
"That may be so, but she can cook up a mean meal. It is so delicious." The guy said.
Fluttershy, I know this is a hard topic for you to talk about, but how does this illegal market work?
"Sadly, Black Market Animals are big business. Every year up to thirty thousand primates, two to five million birds, and ten million reptiles are sold illegally, It's the third largest illegal trade in the world. Rivaled only by guns and drugs. Those people might as well smoke a blunt!! Grab a gun when their high, and shoot themsel-"
Thank you Fluttershy. One night Puffed Pastry had a surprise for her customers.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we got a very delicious animal tonight. It will surprise you."
She had gotten a deal on a rare reptile. This reptile was a King Cobra. As Puffed Pastry got everything ready. She went to the room where The King Cobra was. She kept it in a pot. Then she saw that the pot was on the floor, and The King Cobra was free. Puffed Pastry was sacred, but wasn't going to let this rare delicacy get away. The King Cobra had its head up and was hissing at her.
"Take it easy big guy." Puffed Pastry said grabbing the pot and getting on her knees. "Just get back in the stupid pot."
Fluttershy how do King Cobras act when threatened?
"The King Cobra is one of the longest venomous snakes out there. If it feels threatened it raises its head up and shows its hood it's telling you to back off. The hood is designed to scare you. I think it looks beautiful. I've actually held a King Cobra. When you talk to them you start to understand them. I like how they feel. They all love me. However, due to laws I have to have them devenomized."
"Come on you little devil. I'm going to catch you and make a good dish." Puffed Pastry said as she tried to grab the King Cobra. She grabbed it but it wiggled in her grasp and was pissed off.
*Hisss!! Bite!!*
The snake sank its fangs into one off Puffed Pastry's cheek.
"Ow!!!! Oh God!!!!" She shouted in pain.
Many of the customers heard the commotion. One of the customers decided to see what was going on. When he saw Puffed Pastry touching her cheek he tried to help. Until he saw The King Cobra near her. Waiting to see his target die. He ran off and told the rest of the customers it would be a good idea to leave. They would have called for help. However, if they got caught eating endangered species they would be sent to jail.
Fluttershy what are the effects of a King Cobra's venom?
"The King Cobra's fangs are designed like a hypodermic needle. They are hollow so when they bite the venom glands squeeze and pump a copious amount of venom into you. Their venom causes severe pain, swelling, tissue damage that leaves a nasty necrotizing infection, and paralysis. If left untreated, a king cobra bite can lead to respiratory failure. You won't be able to breathe, and within twenty minutes you die...She deserved it."
In the end Puffed Pastry laid there dead with The King Cobra admiring his work. Puffed Pastry got the money she needed buy killing animals that were endangered. That night she was in danger and now she's...Extinct.
Way To Die #160: Snake Du Jour
Author's Note
Coming up we got a girl who just won't put the phone down. Then we go back to Equestria with a pony that loves to speed things up
